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Marina’s standing there.
Her eyes are red and puffy, her left hand is dripping blood. Shizuka’s not sure what she expected when she opened the door, but she figures she shouldn’t be surprised.
There’s a beat of silence, and Shizuka doesn’t know exactly what she should do. She wants to lunge forward, wrap her arms tight around Marina’s body and tell her that everything’s going to be alright, that she loves her and would never let anything happen to her, but she remains still. Silent. She doesn’t wanna set her off.
Mercifully, Marina makes the first move. She steps forward slowly until she’s right up in Shizuka’s face, before shifting to rest her head on her shoulder. Her voice comes out ragged and tired. So, so tired.
“I’m– I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”
Shizuka can’t hold herself back anymore. She brings her arms up to cradle Marina in a gentle embrace, whispers softly to her.
“I know. I know. It’s okay.”
Marina sniffs loudly. Shizuka brings a hand up to stroke her hair. “C’mon. Let’s go inside.”
A grunt of affirmation. Slowly, cautiously, Shizuka pulls away from the embrace just long enough to grab Marina’s hand. The two shuffle inside, Shizuka shifting a little to kick the door closed behind them.
They make their way through the hall before reaching the main room, Shizuka pulling the other girl over until she can set her down on the sofa. Once that’s done, she starts making her way towards the bathroom.
“Wait–”
Marina grabs her arm. Shizuka turns around again, her expression soft.
“You need something for your hand. We’ve got some bandages in the bathroom. Just wait here for a sec.”
Marina’s hand drops, letting Shizuka pull away and towards her destination. Once in the bathroom, she opens a cabinet and finds a mess. Medication, some loose Q-tips, vaseline. She reaches past all of these and grabs the small box of bandages in the back.
Making her way back, she sits down next to Marina. “Show me.”
Obliging, Marina opens her hand up to reveal the gash on her palm. Shizuka cringes. “Ugh– Wait, we should– We should clean it. Right. C’mon.”
Standing up, Shizuka grabs Marina’s other hand and drags her along, along with the bandages. Once back in the bathroom, Shizuka turns on the faucet. She turns back to Marina. “Do you need me to help you?”
“Um– No. No. I can do it.”
Shizuka just nods. Marina hesitantly holds her hand out, before placing it under the stream. She inhales sharply as the cold water runs over her palm. As she rinses out the wound, she feels a soft pressure on her back. Shizuka is rubbing up and down, a small attempt at comfort. Marina doesn’t say anything. She appreciates it all the same.
After the wound is thoroughly rinsed out, Marina reaches for the box of bandages Shizuka set on the counter.
“Oh– Wait, uh, here.”
Shizuka digs around in that same cabinet before retrieving the vaseline. “Use this first.”
On any other day, Marina would be making fun of Shizuka for being so forgetful. Right now, all she can bring herself to do is let out an exasperated sigh.
She grabs the vaseline from Shizuka, opening the container gingerly before scooping out a dollop of it with her finger. She spreads it over the wound as Shizuka takes the liberty to finally open up the box of bandages. She holds out her hand expectantly. Marina lowers her brow.
“I told you I can do it.”
“I know, I just– I want to. Please?”
Marina sighs again, but she holds out her hand anyway. Ever so carefully, as if it might crumble to dust under her touch, Shizuka takes Marina’s hand, starts wrapping the bandages around.
There’s a silence that’s neither awkward nor comfortable as Shizuka finishes up her work. She lets out a breath as she lets go, Marina’s hand falling back to her side. She glances up to scan Marina’s face, but her eyes are glued to the floor. Silently, Shizuka grabs Marina’s good hand and starts to lead her out of the bathroom. She follows without protest.
Once back in the living room, the two settle onto the couch. Shizuka squeezes Marina’s hand. “Do you wanna tell me what happened, or do you want food first?”
Marina’s gaze shifts slowly. “Food? I’m not hungry.”
“When’s the last time you ate?”
“I don’t know, like– Ugh…” Marina lets out another sigh. She speaks a little quieter. “Probably last night.”
“You haven’t eaten all day?”
Marina stays silent at that. Shizuka’s look becomes stern. “You need to eat something. I think we have some instant ramen. Just– Gimme a sec.” Shizuka gets up, makes her way across the room towards the connected kitchen. She opens a lower cabinet. “Do you want chicken or miso?”
“Uh–” Marina is at a loss. “... Chicken.”
Shizuka grabs the cup of chicken ramen and sets about prepping it. Once it’s been in and out of the microwave, she sets it down on the counter and covers the top with a bowl. Pulling out her phone, she sets a timer for a few minutes as she sits back down on the couch. She looks back up at Marina.
“Alright. What happened?”
Shizuka’s expression is soft. It’s so soft, Marina thinks she could tell her anything and there’d be no judgement, no reprimand, just… understanding.
Marina exhales. “Mom, she… She found out I took some of her booze the other day.” She snorts. “She got mad. Broke a bottle, tried to hit me with it. I was able to grab it out of her hand, but not before– Y’know.” Marina flexes the fingers on her injured hand.
Shizuka scowls. “That woman…”
“Hey!” Marina smacks Shizuka in the arm.
“Ugh, I know. It’s just… I hate seeing you like this. I can’t fucking stand it.”
Marina decides to ignore that for now.
“She’s been… a little bit better. Lately. Well, until this.” She cracks a smile. “And, I mean… It’s kinda my fault, if you think about it.”
Shizuka grabs her hand again. “Hey. Don’t say that.”
“C’mon, don’t tell me you don’t agree. I was– God, I was awful.” Marina sniffs. Her voice is watery. “I hurt you again, even after I promised I’d never–”
“Marina. Stop.” Shizuka grabs Marina’s shoulders and shifts her until they’re directly facing each other. “It was a bad situation. You were at a low point, and you were looking for a way out. It wouldn’t have happened if your mom had never treated you like that in the first place. It wouldn’t have happened if I was paying better attention to you. I should’ve noticed something was wrong sooner.”
“Don’t– Don’t try to blame yourself.”
“I’m not doing that. I’m saying that what’s done is done, and blaming yourself isn’t gonna help anything. We’re here now. That’s what matters.”
Marina just stares at her for a few seconds. Really, what did she do to deserve this from someone whose childhood she made a living hell? From someone she’s been avoiding for the past week since her violent, drunken breakdown? A part of her knows the answer to that question: nothing. She did nothing.
Marina’s voice comes out broken. “Why are you– Why are you always so nice to me?” She starts sobbing. Shizuka just sighs, pulls her into a hug.
“Cmon, Marina. I thought we were past this…” She squeezes. Marina just keeps crying. She’s holding on like she’d fade away if she didn’t. Shizuka brings her hand up and starts stroking her hair, like she’s done so many times before. “Marina. Are you listening to me?”
Her sobs quiet for just a moment. Shizuka’s voice is low, comforting. “Marina. I love you. I know I’ve told you that a lot, but… sometimes I feel like you don’t believe it. So I’ll say it as many times as it takes. You are the most important person in the world to me. I love you. I love you. I love you.” As Shizuka cards her hand through the other girl’s hair, Marina’s breath starts to steady. It’s not long before the tears stop coming altogether.
Slowly, gently, Shizuka pulls away. She smiles. “... Feel better?”
Marina snorts. God, what even are they? She wipes at her face.
“Y-Yeah. Yeah… Thanks.”
Before Shizuka has a chance to respond, her timer goes off.
“Oh– Lemme get that.” Getting up, she pads over to the kitchen and grabs a pair of chopsticks. She removes the bowl from the top of the ramen container and swirls it around lightly, before pouring the contents of the cup into the bowl. Once all that’s done, she brings it over to the couch. “Here you go.” Marina just nods as she takes the bowl and chopsticks.
Gingerly, she tries grabbing some of the noodles. They slip right through the chopsticks. She tries again. Same result. Shizuka laughs. “Do you want a fork?”
Marina rolls her eyes. She’s not laughing. Really, she’s not.
They’re in bed. Well, Shizuka’s bed, to be specific.
Marina doesn’t really know what time it is. They’ve been laying there for a while, Shizuka’s arms wrapped around her protectively. Marina doesn’t tell her how much she likes it.
She shifts a little. Shizuka’s arms tighten.
It comes out as a low whisper. “Shizuka?”
“... Hmm.”
“I, um– I love you too.”
Shizuka exhales. When she answers, Marina can hear the grin on her face.
“I know, dummy.”