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Your throat was tight as you sat on yours and Silco’s shared bed, your legs tucked up to your jaw and your face hidden between your knees. He’d yelled at you. He’d told you you weren’t to leave the room, that you were to stay in the safest place he knew, then he’d left. You could hear him in his office, but you hadn’t dared to leave or attempt to speak with him.
You… you knew it probably came from a place of love.
Silco adored you. You were the first person to pursue him romantically in who knows how many years. You’d been hired by the Eye as a secretary of sorts; you helped him sort his papers, you took information to and from his factories, et cetera. But as time went on… you found yourself infatuated by the mysterious man.
You spent more time in his office, fetching him liquor when he ran dry and pouring his cup for him (far more personal tasks than the ones you’d originally done). You found yourself staring at his long, winding scars and deep, fascinating left eye. At first, he sneered at you, asking in a terse tone, “Problem?”
But you’d quickly shaken your head and told him no, dipping your head down. You were quick to correct him in that you weren’t judging him, you found his scars beautiful. Then you’d berated yourself internally when he dismissed you. You were so fired. Who calls their boss, who controls all of the Undercity, beautiful? Stupid.
The next day you’d come into work he’d again let you linger in his office, despite your fears about getting berated or fired.
He slowly started keeping you closer and closer. Tucking you at his side as he worked, assigning you closer to him, taking you along to meetings so that you could be useful if he needed something fetched. Then, Silco… one day, he laid his hand on your hip, his jaw tight, almost anxious. That was when you knew he adored you the same way you did him.
You lifted your own hands and gently cupped his cheeks, offering an anxious smile. You felt the grooves of his scar, your fingertips brushing the sensitive skin there. He’d relaxed, finally taking a breath, and dipped his head to brush his lips against yours. You’d reciprocated, your arms circling his neck. Silco had tensed at that (why? How odd.), but he’d wrapped his arms around your waist. You felt his gloved fingers caressing your body softly.
Things had changed since then. You’d stopped going to the factories; he’d found someone else to take information to and from. Over the next few months, you’d moved into the Drop with Silco, making it clear that you were his partner. He kept you close to him.
He became more and more clingy. You… assumed it was just worry, but it came across as possession. You started to feel cramped.
At one point, you’d gone out to meet a friend. You were out into the late hours of the night. When you got back, Silco confronted you, his brows furrowed and his jaw clenched. He’d not been happy with you, but he hadn’t said much.
Yesterday, you’d gone out into the Lanes with a handful of coins, aiming to buy the ingredients to a good meal for you and Silco. A handful of herbs, expensive (but reasonable for Zaun) meat, and a salt rock to grind. You’d returned to find the Drop in disarray, leaving you confused. Silco had quickly grabbed your wrist and tugged you inside, growling at you.
This wasn’t the first time you’d gone out to shop or meet up with one of your old friends.
Every time Silco was upset at you. Increasingly so.
“Where were you? What did I tell you about leaving?” You opened your mouth to answer, shrinking back. He’d quickly calmed down when he’d realized he’d startled you and cupped your hand, pressing his lips to the pulse in your wrist. “I can send someone else to get these,” he motioned to the bag in your hand, “You’re not to leave without permission. Am I understood?”
And so, today, he’d snapped at you. Told you to stay in your shared room.
Every time he’d raised his voice at you flashed in your head. You suddenly began to realize how trapped you felt. An ache in your chest built. He doesn’t love me. He wants to own me.
You stood up, steeling yourself. You couldn’t fucking do this anymore. It had been building up. You had to leave.
All of your things were slowly gathered into a bag in your hand; at least, the necessities. You were slow and shaky. Should you really do this? But you had to… Silco didn’t really love you. He wanted you to be his. Right. You’d been with him for… how long, nine months? You had to get out while you had the willpower.
You shoved the door open, immediately meeting Silco’s gaze where he sat at his desk.
“I’m leaving,” you announced, loudly. Your eyes were slightly red from crying. Silco frowned and raised to his feet, adjusting his top and quickly circling around his desk.
You ducked your head and turned, heading toward the door. Silco’s hand wrapped around your arm tightly. “Where?”
He didn’t understand, clearly.
“Out. Away,” You answered vaguely, your throat tight. You jerked away from Silco, but only took one step before he’d grabbed you with both hands. “No, you aren’t.” The tight grip made you panic—he really does just want to own me, he thinks I’m his, he doesn’t love me-
You shoved him and took a step back, letting out a quiet whimper, then your voice resonated, “Yes I am!”
You didn’t see the horrified expression on his face.
The footsteps of you leaving, heading towards his office door, were hurried. Silco felt his stomach lurch with illness.
“Wait!” He reached for you, but didn’t touch you again.
You hesitated, your shoulders hunching as you anticipated another hand on your arm or shoulder. But he fell silent and you turned around.
Shock coursed through your body when you had to tip your head down to see him. The man, usually dominant and controlling and powerful, was on his knees at your feet. He had his head lowered to you. “Please.”
You’d never heard that word from his pursed lips. He looked… pathetic hunched in front of you.
Your foot slid back, startled, but you didn’t try to leave again.
“Don’t… leave me,” he murmured, and you saw his fingers curl into his pants. The bag you’d been clutching slowly slid from your shoulder and you swallowed. “You can’t keep me locked up,” you hissed, trying to stand your ground. Your boot twisted and you tensed your muscles.
“You’re right,” Silco spoke, his voice rough and gentle. He scooted closer on his knees and you let out a shaky breath when he wrapped an arm around your leg. “Fear… consumed me. You were the first I’ve truly cared about since…”
He paused, his long fingers gently caressing your calf. His other palm remained on the ground beside your foot. “I only meant to keep you safe.” His head slowly bowed, ruffling his hair against your shin.
You swallowed the rock clogging your throat and slowly knelt down, letting the bag slide to the ground. His hand trailed up and rested on your thigh pathetically as your calf tucked beneath your body. You lifted your hands and cupped his cheeks.
Several hairs had gone astray, falling over his forehead. You used one hand to brush them back, looking into his good eye. His gaze was cast down toward the floor and he swallowed.
He does love me.
You knew now. You could see it. He’d just wanted to keep you safe
“You can’t keep me cooped up,” you whispered, sliding between his legs gently and resting your body against his chest. Silco let out a shaky, relieved sigh, and his arms encircled you, his face pressing into your hair. You could feel his nose against your temple, breathing you in. “I… know.”
“Don’t yell at me for stepping outside,” you whimpered. Silco nodded, his legs tightening around your body. “I’m sorry, my love.” “It’s okay.”
You reached up again and rubbed his scarred cheek, turning to press your lips gently to his. He returned softly, his hands cupping your neck, his thumbs supporting your jaw. His good eye closed, but his ruined was staring at you. You stared back, taking in the beautiful golden glow.
“It’s… dangerous in the Lanes. It’s dangerous for you,” Silco insisted, breaking the kiss and beginning to press soft, loving pecks to your cheek and jaw. You sighed. “Everyone knows that you mean something to me. They will do anything to draw my attention… and if you’re vulnerable..”
You knew he was right there. People had seen you with Silco. They knew you were important to the head Chembaron.
“Then send Sevika with me. Or Ran,” you insisted. You twisted back and held his jaw to keep him still, forcing him to look at you. Silco’s lips were parted, which revealed his adorably chipped teeth. “I’m not staying in here all day, every day. I need to get out.”
“..Fine,” he relented. His brows furrowed anxiously and he took your hand, rubbing your fingers tenderly. “But… you must be careful. I…” he hesitated, then puffed a sigh and leaned forward, hiding his face in your shoulder, “...cannot lose you.”
Your arms wound around Silco’s body and you pressed soft, loving kisses to his neck. You were so, so glad this seemed to be over.
And your heart felt lighter, knowing that the man you loved truly did love you.