Work Text:
TK’s heart stopped when he saw the caller ID.
Austin General. There was only one reason the hospital would be calling him, and it wasn’t good. Either Carlos or his Dad had been admitted, and he was called as their emergency contact.
Guilt began to claw at him, unapologetically tearing through his heart and ripping his stomach open with nausea. He hadn’t left things on good terms with Carlos; he didn’t want to call it a fight, but what else was it? He knew that his husband could only focus on catching his father's killer; he couldn’t imagine the toll it must be taking. But TK was drowning. He couldn’t keep their marriage afloat by himself, and he couldn’t save Jonah if he was trying to save Carlos, too.
And now his husband (did Carlos even still want him as a husband?) might be dying alone in a hospital bed.
TK dropped what he was doing and slipped on a coat over his shoulders, holding onto his Star of David to keep him balanced as the world spun out around him. He had to see him. Even if Carlos was still mad and hurt, TK had to be there.
By the time the nurse allowed him into the ICU, his heart was on the verge of total failure. Static roared behind his eyes as his ears rang. Was he going to pass out? He couldn’t. But he also had never been more terrified in his life.
Carlos was always the strong one. Carlos was the one who was okay, while TK got hurt. That’s how it happens. He shouldn’t be on this side of the waiting room. He wasn’t strong enough, not like his husband, to handle the fear.
“How is he?” TK paused the nurse before opening the door to the room. He needed to know what he was walking into. He needed to know how to prepare himself, even though he knew he could never truly be prepared for what he saw.
“Surgery was touch-and-go, but he’s stable now. Mr. Reyes is very lucky. The bullet went through the lung and bounced off his ribcage, exiting through the same wound. If it had been any other angle...” She replied, voice soft and sincere.
TK nodded before biting back his fear (and mountain of guilt), stepping through the doorframe. Carlos’s eyes were closed, and his chest moved up and down in a steady rhythm, his monitors beeping in tune. TK had never seen him like this. So close to death. If the bullet had moved closer to his heart, he might have been planning a funeral now.
He quietly took a seat next to the bed, praying that Carlos would want him here when he woke up. TK promised himself that he would respect Carlos’s wishes; if he didn’t want to see him, then he would leave. But it killed him to think of him waking up alone.
He had thought the worst thing that could ever happen to them had happened, their marriage falling apart. But holding vigil next to Carlos and not knowing where he stood with them, with the life they had built together…losing Carlos as his husband would wreck him, but losing Carlos as a person who lived and breathed and smiled…TK didn’t think he could ever recover from that.
He couldn’t do anything but watch as his chest rose and fell, watch his heart beat on the monitor, listen for his breath in and out. He wouldn’t allow himself to go on his phone, he wouldn’t allow himself to eat or sleep, and he had to watch over Carlos until he was awake. It was the least he could do.
After all- didn’t Carlos do the same thing when TK was in his coma a few years back after falling through the ice? They had been broken up for months (TK’s own goddamn fault for running away), and yet he sat day and night until TK came out of it. They were able to find their way back to each other then, and he only prayed they could do the same now.
Carlos shifted in his bed before his eyebrows drew together in pain, consciousness bringing its dose of reality with it. TK didn’t say anything yet, waiting for Carlos to open his eyes. So terrified that once he saw him, that it would all be over, that Carlos would want to separate, and TK let the best thing in his life slip through his fingers.
“You came.” His voice was low and husky in the way that normally drove TK crazy, but now just twisted the knife, knowing that it was caused by so much pain.
Before he could stop himself, TK reached out his hand towards Carlos’s, gently squeezing it as if to transfer all the love he had into the man, praying that he could feel it. That he could still feel them.
“Of course. I’m so sorry, baby, I wasn’t there- I-” TK caught himself in a sob and cursed under his breath. He was supposed to be the strong one now!
Carlos grabbed his other hand and pulled him close, basking in the warmth of his husband's presence. When he pulled away, TK could see his eyes were red, tears streaming down his face.
“I thought I lost you.” Carlos’s hands were shaking as he spoke. “I didn’t think you’d want to ever see me again after how absent I’ve been, stuck in my grief and obsession.”
TK rubbed his thumb across Carlos’s face, wiping a tear away. “You didn’t lose me. I don’t think you could ever truly lose me. Baby, you are the love of my life.”
TK knew that Carlos had been grieving, that he had been in pain and couldn’t see five inches in front of his face, how could he see a future for them or children while in that headspace? Knowing and empathizing with his situation wasn’t always enough. He had felt abandoned, and those feelings were real. But the overwhelming sense of love made him wonder why he ever had doubts in the first place. He loved Carlos. He loved Jonah. They would make this work somehow.
“I love you, TK.” Carlos’s voice broke with the tears, and goddamn it, how was TK supposed to be the strong one when his husband lay there hurting like this? TK sank into his arms, careful to avoid the gauze around his waist, and let the tears come.
Maybe being strong meant letting themselves cry. Leaning on each other. Coming back together.
“I love you,” he whispered into the crook of his neck, hoping Carlos could feel just how much he meant every word.