Work Text:
When Wu Yuanzhao saw Xi Xin cross the curtains of her chambers in the temple, she felt a sudden wave of relief that surprised even herself. It was a relief that didn’t felt like convenience, it felt familiar, it felt like safety. And yes, of course, Wu Yuanzhao reasoned with herself, Xi Xin was one of her strongest allies, her most loyal too, but maybe the absence made her realize her loyal guardian wasn’t just another pawn on her game.
Wu Yuanzhao allowed herself to greet Xi Xin sincerely, but flinched when her gentle touch on her arm unknowingly pressed on her bruise. The gesture didn’t escape the sharp gaze of her guardian and she carefully lifted Wu Yuanzhao’s robe sleeve to show the wound underneath it.
Wu Yuanzhao left a small laugh when she saw Xi Xin’s worry and righteous anger flare in her eyes. Of course she would want to avenge her lady right away, and Wu Yuanzhao would be lying to herself if she denied that part of that fierceness didn’t stir something of her own kindle. So, teasingly, she said, “Did you know, Xi Xin? Just yesterday the official that supervises us did the same thing you’re doing now, and she brought me to her chambers to fetch some of the medicine she had.”
Xi Xin’s grip on Wu Yuanzhao’s arm stuttered as her eyes widened, a clear expression of hurt and disbelief painted across her honest face, it almost made Wu Yuanzhao felt guilty. “And… You went along with her?” Xi Xin asked carefully, trying to restrain the wave of emotion that was trying to escape her voice or expression.
But Wu Yuanzhao din’t truly want to hurt her guardian, just to tease her a bit, so she laughed softly as she carefully graced the tip of her fingers against the hand of Xi Xin that still held her bare arm, “Her chambers had a distinct and delicate perfume of lilies, but I only accepted the offered medicine, after all, if it’s about keeping me safe, who can do that better than Xi Xin?” Wu Yuanzhao lifted her gaze and gave a dangerously coy smile at her guardian.
Xi Xin immediately looked away and let go of Wu Yuanzhao’s arm, “My lady…” she muttered, and it was the first time Wu Yuanzhao had the privilege to see the ever strong and stoic woman blooming a soft blush on her cheeks. It was endearing in a way that almost surprised Wu Yuanzhao with it’s tenderness.
“Now, now, let’s move to the table, I have many things I want to tell you,” Wu Yuanzhao decided to change the air and give some mercy to her flustered guardian, for now, at least.
They talked about he future, about strategy and scheme. Wu Yuanzhao felt good to be able to plan like this again, to feel like she could map possibilities and ideas once again, that even after all her hardships she still kept her sharp mind and sharp ambitions. It felt good to know she had people she could use, places she still could reach, power still on her grip.
“Whatever path you choose, I will always be there for you.”
‘People to use’, Wu Yuanzhao thought as she saw the earnest, burning determination on Xi Xin’s eyes. Was she too another pawn on her game? Yes, from the beginning she was, Wu Yuanzhao had taken advantage of her righteousness and kindness for her own goals since the day Xi Xin mercifully spared her from her former superior’s punishment. Wu Yuanzhao was no different from Consort Wei, using the wicked and the kind just the same, stepping over the innocent and tearing down the powerful. All for her selfish ambition.
“My lady?” Xi Xin brought her back from her spiraling thoughts, “Did I… upset you with what I just said?” Xi Xin looked worried, almost hurt, and Wu Yuanzhao knew right then and there that she was different, that whatever waited for her in the future, she never wanted to see Xi Xin making that expression again. She would not use Xi Xin, they would work together.
Wu Yuanzhao took a deep breath and spoke, “Xi Xin, I want to go back to the palace and start over. I want to gain power,” she said firmly and Xi Xin’s eyes widened a fraction in surprise of her boldness, but she still continued, “I want to gain power so no one else can step over us, I want to gain enough power so I can protect you, you and your brother. I want to gain enough power so that I can free us.” With that, Wu Yuanzhao carefully extended her hand across the table, with her palm up, an invitation, a confession, a pact.
“My lady…” Xi Xin’s gaze now was bright with emotion, surprise, worry, determination and something more that Wu Yuanzhao didn’t dare to name herself. “If that’s what you wish, my life is yours,” Xi Xin carefully reached towards the offered hand and held it with a lightness unexpected from a warrior so fierce.
Wu Yuanzhao held her hand, relishing in the slightly roughness of her skin, yes, the hand of a warrior, the hand of the woman she would climb the heavens to protect. Slowly, Wu Yuanzhao stood up, still holding Xi Xin’s hand in her, making her stand up as well. “Xi Xin,” Wu Yuanzhao started, caressing her thumb over Xi Xin’s hand, “Tonight, would you help me to braid my hair before I go to sleep?”
Wu Yuanzhao relished seeing the flustered blush return to Xi Xin’s face, even daring to bloom on the tip of her ears, “Y- Yes, my lady,” she replied, unable to maintain eye contact.
“Xi Xin, from now on, when it’s just the two of us, call me Yuanzhao,” she smiled and with her free hand, she cupped Xi Xin’s face to lift it up, coercing her to look her in the eyes, the pleading expression that found her overwhelmed her with endearment. Oh, how much Wu Yuanzhao enjoyed this new side of Xi Xin, even more than she ever expected.
Slowly, with their steps barely making sound over the wooden floor, as if the noise could break the unbelievable dream they were being swept into, they made their way to the chamber’s small vanity. Not much was provided for her current ascetic life in the temple, but a stool and a narrow desk was more than enough for tonight.
Wu Yuanzhao laughed as Xi Xin struggled with taking her hat off and unpinning her hair. After all, Xi Xin was a guard first and foremost, not a personal servant or a lady-in-waiting, her pragmatic and rough hands weren’t used to hair that wasn’t her own. Wu Yuanzhao teased her shamelessly through it and Xi Xin even allowed herself to bite back a few times. It was a good sign, the walls of propriety between them were thinning, drawing each other closer.
When the initial struggle of unpinning Wu Yuanzhao’s hair was done, a sudden tender tension begin to press around the two of them, the laughs and teasing from before dissipated, before the small bronze mirror, Wu Yuanzhao looked at her reflection, her hair, straight and unbound and Xi Xin, standing behind her, hesitating in the weight of the intimacy between them.
“You can start with your fingers,” Wu Yuanzhao said in a low voice. She thought, for an instant, that it wasn’t fair to tease this much, but when the reward was seeing Xi Xin immediately blush like a crimson flower, a visible shiver running down her spine, then Wu Yuanzhao once again felt no guilt for her misbehaving, however, she lend an out for the other woman before she imploded on the spot, “Untangle the bigger knots, then you can use the comb.”
Xi Xin nodded furiously, clearing her throat, not daring to speak, surely fearing her voice or her will to finally snap. With tense hands she still carefully parted Wu Yuanzhao’s hair and began to run her hands through it, the repeated motion calming them both. Xi Xin relaxing and concentrating on her task, and Wu Yuanzhao enjoying the soft touch, Xi Xin was careful, never pulling or hurting as she worked the long strands through her fingers, and this knowledge, of her careful and precise touch and the faint tingling in her scalp from the combing, betrayed Wu Yuanzhao, making a blush and a flustered heat spread through her.
Noticing the flustered expression on her face, Xi Xin leaned a bit closer, looking at her through the mirror, she paused, seeming to gather confidence before she muttered, “Yuanzhao?” It was the first time Xi Xin had called her by her name, and she wasn’t as strong as her, Wu Yuanzhao turned on her stool, and with a firm tug on Xi Xin’s robes, she brought her low enough to lean in and brand a kiss against her lips.
Wu Yuanzhao heard Xi Xin’s gasp of surprise, but with reflexes fast as lighting she leaned down properly, loosened Wu Yuanzhao’s hand on her robe and moved it to her side, so Wu Yuanzhao could slip them higher and hold her tightly, and Xi Xin relaxed into the kiss, letting her own hands hold Wu Yuanzhao’s face with a care almost sacred, she heard Xi Xin sighing, maybe in pleasure, maybe in relief, maybe both, that sound, too, felt sacred.
The kiss, for all it’s enormity, was brief, was a confirmation and a confession, not yet a searing hunger. When they parted, Xi Xin held her close, stepping closer so she could hold Wu Yuanzhao’s head against her shoulder, Wu Yuanzhao didn’t mention it, but she noticed the way Xi Xin’s fingers trembled against her.
They held each other in silence for a moment, absorbing what has just happened, acknowledging in their hearts the cataclysmic scale of what that small kiss meant, for their future, for their lives, for their empire.
“You know,” Wu Yuanzhao whispered, burying herself deeper against the brocade of Xi Xin’s robes, “I might have to do things I don’t want to from now on, I might become someone you don’t recognize, I might have to step over people,” Wu Yuanzhao felt Xi Xin returning to run her hands through her hair, silently, “I might have… to get married,” Wu Yuanzhao scrunched her eyes as she let the words out.
But the doting touch didn’t falter for an instant, “I understand,” Xi Xin said, her voice steady as always, but soft in a way Wu Yuanzhao had never heard before, “I understand well that this is a road of sacrifices. But, Yuanzhao,” she spoke and carefully pulled back so she could look at her in the eyes, that burning loyalty and that new tenderness shining through, “I already told you that my life is yours.”
Wu Yuanzhao lowered her face against Xi Xin’s robe, staining the fabric with tears.
Afterwards, Xi Xin wiped the tears underneath Wu Yuanzhao’s eyes. She kissed the crown of her head and without saying another word, she picked the wooden comb from the vanity and began combing and parting the hair. Her warmth against Wu Yuanzhao’s back filled her with peace, dissipating the doubts and fears of the future with each pass of the comb.
When Xi Xin began braiding her hair, Wu Yuanzhao starting humming a song from her childhood, it wasn’t the elegant pieces she was taught to please the Emperor, it was a simple nursery rhyme that every child in her hometown knew by heart.
“You have a beautiful voice,” Xi Xin whispered, closing her eyes for a moment to let the music envelop her.
“I sang a better song for the Emperor on the first banquet I attended, you were there too, don’t you?”
“Yes, I remember, it was certainly impressive and beautiful,” Xi Xin said with an easy smile that made Wu Yuanzhao blush, “But I prefer the song you were humming a bit more I have to admit.”
A wave of emotion hit Wu Yuanzhao, making her eyes water again, “That’s a song from my hometown you know?” she said weakly.
“Really? It sounds lovely, thank you for sharing it with me,” Xi Xin said easily, with that same smile, as she finished braiding Wu Yuanzhao’s long hair. She spoke easily, like she didn’t realize that what she just said had filled Wu Yuanzhao’s heart with the most delicate of flowers, hope, joy, safety, belonging, love, love, love.
Wu Yuanzhao cried silent tears, overwhelmed once more, and Xi Xin hugged her back, understanding, even without saying it, the scale of their feelings. The weight against Wu Yuanzhao’s back, this time for once, didn’t felt oppressive or crushing, it felt like a shelter, like a place where she could be herself, like a place where she was loved.
Slowly, Wu Yuanzhao stood up, face to face with the woman she’d fell impossibly in love, and leaned up a bit to meet her in a kiss. One of many to come. Wu Yuanzhao would fight ruthlessly for it, she would tear the entire empire down, for it, for her.