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Growing up for Kanao , was more survival than childhood . If a sibling stepped out of line , their corpse would soon greet the others as a warning .
Kanao didn’t feel for them , how could she? How could she grieve when every second is a see-saw between life and death? How could she grieve when she’s already lost count of the bodies?
Deep inside , she knew they were just excuses .
Kanao was simply an empty shell.
Kanao entered the butterfly mansion once more , the scent of wisteria even stronger than before .
She knew what shinobu was doing . All the butterfly girls knew .
Aoi chose to distract herself with cleaning and attending to patients .Kiyo , sumi and Naho preferred to spend time outside where the smell was less potent.
Kanao didn’t know what to do . Shinobu always did stuff like this , her pallor serving as evidence . Her bug eyes and discoloured veins bearing witness to her daily poison ingestion .
She said it was in preparation , to kill the demon that once took her sister ; but to Kanao, it felt less altruistic and more masochistic .
Shinobu wanted to be dead .
Kanao was reminded of the day Kanae didn’t come home , the day she left with a bright smile and came back in a coffin . She didn’t even die a quick death , she was left to fester in the sun until some kakushi could collect her .
When they all visited the grave , Kanao couldn’t cry . Everyone cried except her .
What was she? Some heartless monster? Someone who couldn’t even grieve for someone who had given her so much? Still the emotionless freak slave from the old home and-
A hand was on her shoulder . She met eyes with Kocho shinobu, the only blood relative to kanae.
Her eyes were still vigorous in that moment , before they turned all sickly . Her eyes still had a fire in them .
Not long after , she adopted the smile Kanae once wore.
Kanao thought again . To say shinobu wanted to be dead is cruel . Shinobu doesn’t want to leave the demon slayer corps , she doesn’t want to leave the hashira and she doesn’t want to leave the butterfly girls .
Shinobu was resigned to death . The idea of it . It was the only way .
That’s right , Shinobu was the opposite of cruel .
She knows the weight of it all . She’s the only one who’s comprehended the meaning of it completely . She not only carried the burden of her own pain but the pain of everyone , the lost loved ones , the debilitating fear , the missing limbs .
Shinobu knew what she had to do .
Kanao found herself feeling the same as she did when kanae died.
For the first time , She found herself grieving over someone who was still alive .