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Chapter Text

Tony was caught between feeling incredibly alive and half-dead.

His heart hammered away in his ribcage, beating with newfound strength ever since he put the new reactor in and erased his guaranteed expiration date. He was a little shaky, a little wired - like he'd had way too much coffee and too little sleep. It was both forever and an instant for JARVIS to get the suit off of him, and then he was running for the elevator, ignoring the way the world was a little too bright. JARVIS had said everyone was back, here, alive.

He needed to see them.

The elevator couldn't go fast enough. His ears buzzed, anxiety clawed at his chest, he just wanted to see them all - and then he could. The doors slid open and there they were: Pepper, Rhodey, and Happy, standing in the middle of the Malibu mansion's living room, looking at all the extra damage he'd done to the house since his disaster of a birthday party. The relief he felt almost knocked him down.

"What in the world did you do?" Rhodey asked when Tony reached them. His best friend was looking at the hole he'd put through the floor and the cables running through it.

"Defied the impossible," he grinned. When Rhodey raised a brow, both curious and dreadful, he elaborated. "Re-discovering an element. My dad found it first. I created it. Solved my problem." He tapped the reactor. Specially, the perfect triangle in the middle of it.

"The problem being that you were dying?" Pepper asked, voice taking on a bit of that same hysterical edge as when she found out earlier, and the two men's eyes snapped back to him.

"Wait, what?" Happy asked, eyes wide with concern.

Rhodey was by him in a second, gripping his shoulders and looking him over. "That's what those black lines were?" He turned Tony's chin, looking at his neck and the lines that were no longer in existence. Tony let him. He was too relieved to know that they were all okay to fight him off, to tell him that he was okay.

Was he okay? The world was still too bright, Pepper's hair too orange rather than strawberry blonde - strawberries, right, he needed to remember she was allergic to them. He needed JARVIS to tell him that, so he didn't screw up their first date with strawberries. Second date? They had kissed, did it count as a first date, or did fighting Hammer's trash tech not count- oh wait, he should pay attention because something was happening.

"-you mean you knew?" Pepper was almost yelling at Rhodey, who had moved away from him at some point, and wow that never happens. Usually they were ganging up on him to get him to do something, like go to events or eat or not be an idiot-

"I didn't think he was dying-"

"Black lines on someone's neck isn't normal, Rhodey!"

They were still fighting, Tony could tell, but his hearing had checked out. Everything was muffled, coming through cotton, and there was a distant ringing noise. Where was his phone, actually? He needed that. Was that the noise? He should ask JARVIS.

He blinked twice to clear some colorful dots from his vision, then turned his head when he felt a steady hand on his shoulder. Happy was there, looking at him with drawn brows and deep worry, and all Tony wanted to do was clap him on the back and crack jokes until it went away. The bodyguard's mouth was moving. Tony couldn't concentrate enough to figure out what he was saying. All he caught was the last word, coming through so quiet that he could have imagined it. "Boss?"

That overly-brightness to his vision turned dim and dark. The world spun out of control, his legs gave out, and then he was falling-

Except he wasn't falling. A set of strong arms caught him, lowering him to the floor. There were hands on his face, on his neck, voices fighting through the muddled mess his mind had become. He managed to open his heavy eyelids halfway. It was Pepper who was holding his face, knelt in front of him as her mouth formed words that clicked into place with his hearing. "-you have to...stay awake, Tony-"

"JARVIS," Rhodey was talking, knelt beside Pepper, his face a mix of terror and confusion and helplessness that Tony hated. It had to be Happy holding Tony upright, the genius's side resting against his chest with his head on his shoulder, "what's... wrong with..."

And then his AI's voice, filtering through the cotton in his head: "Blood pressure bottoming out, heart rate too fast, adrenaline crash-"

"Tony," Pepper was speaking again, hands still gently holding his face, "stay awake... have to... awake, please."

But he couldn't. His eyes were closing on their own accord. Numbness swept over him, from his chest to the rest of his body, and his vision became pixels before darkening completely, like a bad television.

The last thing he heard before unconciousness took him was the yell of his name.

Chapter Text

It happened so fast.

One minute, she and Rhodey had been arguing - because why didn't he think to say something when there were black lines crawling up Tony's neck - and then Tony collapsed. Happy had been closest to him, had been asking if he was okay, and caught him when his legs gave out.

Now he was unconcious, her words having done little to keep him awake, and she wanted to scream. She ran her thumbs under his eyes, over the darkness there, as Rhodey talked. "He'll be alright," the man was saying, his tone desperate to believe those words, "JARVIS says - he's exhausted, he almost died, his body quit on him. He just needs to rest."

"He almost died," she repeated to herself, eyes on Tony's lax face. Happy had his arms wrapped around Tony's middle, keeping him steady against him. "He almost died, he was dying, and we didn't know it." She raised her eyes to the ceiling. It was a foolish habit, one that she thought she had broken ages ago. "JARVIS, how long had Tony been..." She couldn't finish the sentence.

"Four months." The AI answered solemnly. "Sir found out he was dying four months ago."

Her heart squeezed painfully. Four months. The Expo. His birthday. Making her CEO. That stunt in Monaco. That jet ride where all he wanted to do was cancel his party and go to Venice with her. Tears welled up in her eyes. Every stupid or impulsive decision he made had been a cry for help. That omelette, those stupid strawberries - he'd been trying to tell her.

"We missed all the signs." She said quietly. "It's so obvious now."

Rhodey's hand rested on her shoulder, tentative and ready to back off if she snapped at him. When she looked, she saw the guilt in his face. "We'll take care of him, help him through the last of it, and set up a protocol where this can't happen again." His eyes fell on Tony. "He needs to be in bed."

At that, Happy - who's eyes were suspiciously glassy - shifted his hold on Tony. He put an arm behind his knees and the other behind his back. When Tony's head lolled, Pepper gently nudged him back onto Happy's shoulder before the bodyguard stood, slow and careful. Pepper watched his back as he disappeared down the hall and into Tony's room.

"JARVIS," she said quietly, arms wrapping around herself as she got to her feet, "without intervention, how long did Tony have left?"

"Pepper-"

"I need to know, Rhodey."

JARVIS hesitated, then replied, "Without SHIELD's intervention of lithium dioxide and Sir creating the new element, he would have been... gone a week from today."

If Rhodey hadn't steadied her, she would have collapsed to the floor right then. He wrapped her in a hug, her face buried in his shoulder as the tears finally fell. "He's okay now, Pepper." He assured quietly. Pepper could feel his own tears falling into her hair. "He's okay."

"But he wasn't for so long, and we didn't notice-"

"I know. We'll talk to Tony, apologize, let him know that we love him and he didn't have to go through that alone."

"SHIELD knew. Rushman was a spy." Rage welled up in her. "I'm going to kill Phil." He could have told her that Tony was dying. There wasn't an excuse for that. He had her number and knew Tony could be stupid with his life.

"Save the murder for later." He pulled back, wiping his eyes. "Right now, let's take care of your boyfriend." There was a smirk on the end of his words and she smacked him in the shoulder, getting him to chuckle. "All I can say is - finally."

She rolled her eyes, biting back a fragile smile. Her lips tingled at the reminder of that kiss. "I'm going to make him toast and orange juice." She had a feeling something light on his stomach would be best. "You go help Happy."

He gave her a two fingered salute. "On it."

Once he was gone down the hall, Pepper went to the kitchen to make the food. As she waited for the toaster to pop, pouring orange juice into a tall glass for when Tony woke up, she found her mind going a mile a minute. Rhodey said boyfriend. Tony was her boyfriend. They had kissed. Twice. All those bottled up feelings they had for years - finally out in the open after both of them had almost died.

She loved him, she had loved him for so long - and he loved her. That was clear.

It was navigating a relationship that would be a challenge.

"One thing at a time, Potts." She mumbled. The toast popped up, the toaster dinging as if in agreement, and she grabbed a plate.

When she made it to Tony's bedroom, tray in hand, she found that Happy and Rhodey had swapped Tony into his sleep clothes, or at least a more comfortable shirt, considering she could only see his shoulders. They had him propped on two pillows, his covers pulled up over the reactor, and an electric blanket cord peaked out from under it all. "JARVIS said it would be good to keep him warm," Rhodey whispered, sitting at Tony's knee. He settled a hand on his leg. "The Palladium... a symptom was feeling cold all the time."

"Oh." She breathed, putting the tray on the beside table. She settled on Tony's other side, distantly noting that Happy found himself a place at the end of the bed, looking over them all, the constant protector. She pushed hair back from Tony's face, not caring that the other two men were watching.

With him laying still, she could see how tired he was. The darkness under his eyes was prevalent, the lines of stress from months of knowing he was dying visible. "JARVIS, what's his recommended recovery plan?"

"Three days of bedrest would be best, Miss Potts."

"Then that's what he'll get."

They'd failed him so many times in the last few months. They weren't going to do it again.

Chapter Text

When Tony woke up, the first thing he noticed was how warm he was. It was pleasant, a harsh contrast from the chill that had chased him for months, and he sunk into its embrace.

The second thing he noticed was that he was in bed, and that his mattress was dipping around him. It was odd. He pushed through the fog wrapped around his mind, needing to know what was going on. His hearing came back - voices, soft familiar voices, having a conversation around him while another background noise - the television, he guessed - played.

It took a few seconds longer than it should have, but he managed to pull his heavy eyelids open. He blinked as the room came into clarity. Pepper sat beside him, her hand settled lightly on the side of his chest; Happy sitting at his feet and talking quietly with Rhodey, who was on his left with a steady hand on his leg. Some movie - Finding Nemo? Was that it? - played on his giant flat-screen.

Confusion gave way to remembrance - that shot to the neck, building the particle accelerator, fighting Hammerdroids with Rhodey, kissing Pepper Potts, making it back home after a sweep of the city, seeing them all okay, losing conciousness-

He blinked, snapping to the present just as Rhodey looked back at him. "Hey, look who's awake," his friend said, standing. His words brought all the attention onto him. Normally he'd be okay with that, but the way they were looking at him - he didn't like it. They were smiling, but in that concerned way, when something wasn't right.

He pushed himself up to sit, ignoring Pepper's hands on him as she tried to get him to stay down. "What happened?" He asked.

"You passed out." Rhodey replied. "You've been out for around half an hour. Pepper's got some juice for you-"

"Not that."

"What, you don't like juice anymore?"

He rolled his eyes. "I mean, I'm asking why you all look like someone died and you're waiting to tell me." The three paused, sharing looks, and Tony's frustrated concern grew. "Y'know, that is not reassuring."

Rhodey sighed. He came to sit by Tony, facing him. "Tony, the answer is that you almost died-"

"I know that-"

"-and we asked JARVIS how long you had been dying for."

Crap. Tony frowned, resisting the urge to cross his arms and cover the glowing reactor in his chest. "Look, I know I should have told you guys, but I figured..." He shrugged, looking down at his blankets. He picked a stray string from the fabric, desperate for a second's distraction from their eyes on him. Pepper's hand was on his shoulder, gently rubbing circles with her thumb, and his heart couldn't decide if the movement was slowing it down or giving it a jolt. "I thought it would be easier for you to let me go if you were all angry at me."

Silence fell. Tony didn't dare look up, not until Rhodey breathed out a quiet, "Oh, Tony," and Pepper let out a muffled, wretched sob and Happy gasped like he'd been punched. When he raised his eyes, he found all of theirs glassy with tears, matching the burning behind his own.

Rhodey gripped his shoulder, tight and grounding. "Tones," he said, voice strangled, "losing you would be the worst thing that could happen to me, and I don't think I'm alone in saying that. You did not have to go through that by yourself, and we are so sorry that you did, that we did anything to make you feel like you couldn't tell us. The last thing we want is to lose you, man. We love you."

He swallowed the lump in his throat, mouth opening to form words that wouldn't come. There wasn't a smart remark on his tongue, no comment that could make them laugh and take all the emotion away. No, there was only the sudden terror and relief and love, all wrapped together as a ball in his chest, and his heart raced because he'd almost died, and he'd been terrified to die-

Rhodey must have seen something in his eyes as he yanked him forward into a bear hug. All Tony could do was bury his face in his friend's shoulder, desperately fighting down the sob crawling up his throat. "Let it out, Tony," Rhodey murmured in his ear as Pepper's arms wrapped around him too, then Happy was there, holding them all in a protective embrace. "It's okay to cry."

That was all it took. Four months of fear came out in rivers of tears and broken sobs. There were hands rubbing his back, carding through his hair, holding him tight as the emotional pressure valve was released. Voices spoke softly, telling him that it was okay, that he was safe, that he was loved so much more than he knew.

And when he was done, when there were no more tears left to cry and he was exhausted emotionally and physically, Pepper was the one to wipe the tears from his face, her own eyes red like when he came home from Afghanistan, and Rhodey held a glass of orange juice to his lips because he needed to drink something that wasn't coffee or Chlorophyll.

"JARVIS has ordered three days of enforced bedrest," Happy told him as he drank, his arms crossed and eyes expressing so much more emotion than he normally did. "We'll be enforcing that."

"J isn't a doctor." Tony informed them, voice raw despite having consumed half the cold juice. Pepper put a piece of toast in his hand.

Rhodey raised a brow. "Do you want to see an actual doctor?"

They all knew the answer to that. Tony just huffed, biting into his toast, and Rhodey laughed, ruffling his hair. The genius used the bread to hide his smile, instead asking who in the world decided to watch Finding Nemo. (It was Pepper.)

It wasn't long before he fell asleep again, after finishing the juice and toast. It was hard to keep his heavy eyelids open when he was wrapped in warmth, Pepper's hand holding his own. When he woke up the next time, Pepper was the only one in the room with him, the television off as she fixed his pillows under the light of the moon. She was wearing the set of pajamas she kept stored at his house, her hair hanging loose around her shoulders. When she saw his eyes open, she stopped. "Hey," she murmured, "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to wake you."

"It's okay." He replied quietly, rubbing at his eyes. Goodness, she looked beautiful. She'd always been beautiful to him. "Can I ask you something?"

"Of course."

He paused, tapping his fingers against the mattress. "Was it real?" He asked, heart racing. "What happened between us?" He needed to know. He didn't think it could've been faked, not with the feelings he'd had in that moment, but his head was fuzzy, and there was always a chance he'd dreamed it, always a chance his brilliant mind had betrayed him-

Her lips landed on his, cutting off his train of thought. He leaned into it, eyes closed, not daring to breathe. When she pulled back, she asked, "Was that real enough for you?"

"Very," he replied, breathless. She was the only person who could leave him like that - essentially speechless with his head spinning in a million directions. "Very real."

She smiled and kissed his forehead. "Go back to sleep. You need to rest."

"Happy wasn't kidding about the enforced bedrest, was he?"

"None of us were. If you try to escape, one of them will carry you back to bed. We've set up an alert system with JARVIS."

"Duly noted."

She ran a hand through his hair, then moved to leave. He watched, eyes half-lidded, as she stopped at the door. Seconds ticked by, and then she walked back.

"Pepper?"

"Move over."

He did as told immediately. She climbed into bed with him, pulling the blankets over them both. She rested her head on his chest, arm around his middle, and he wrapped his own arms around her. Her eyes sparkled with the glow of the reactor.

"This okay?" She asked.

"More than okay." He kissed the top of her head. "I don't need anything else."

She smiled softly. "Will that be all, Mr. Stark?"

"That will be all, Miss Potts."

With that, his eyes slipped closed. He listened to her breathe for a long time after, caught in a half asleep state. He'd been resigned to his death, scared but understanding, believing that he'd run out of his borrowed time, that there wasn't any life left for him.

He'd never been so happy to be wrong.