Chapter Text
“What if I just turn around right now? I can just email the papers, right? I should've done that to begin with, oh fuck my life, Minjeong, what do I do?”
“Calm down ning, you’re already there, it’d be a waste of your precious time if you were to turn around now. Plus, this way you can get some closure, I guess, be sure if this is what you really want.” Yizhuo rolls her eyes. She has had this conversation countless times with the older woman. Minjeong insists that she’s making a dumb mistake, but Yizhuo has held firm, stating that this was the best course of action for both her and Aeri moving forward. Sure, she’s been readjusting ever since they split all those months ago, and she doesn't regret initiating the split. Had she still been with Aeri now, she’d be a different person, and she’s glad that some time apart from the relationship helped her grow as much as it did. She can only hope Aeri has done some growing this past year as well.
“You’re right, I didn't drive all this way for nothing, I should just face the music”, she says more to herself than to Minjeong. “That’s the spirit, now get going or you’re not gonna be in time for the movie; Jimin picked out Legally Blonde”. Yizhuo assures Minjeong she’ll be in time for the movie before hanging up.
Her car comes to a standstill on the hilly terrain, just a few feet away from the porch of Aeri’s mountain cabin. She gathers herself, a deep breath in through the nose, out through the mouth. Time to get this over with. As she steps out of her car, and is instantly met with the chill of the air. The sky looks more overcast than when she left, but she pushes the thought to the back of her mind. The weather is the least of her worries now.
Wearily, she makes her way to the door. There’s no chance Aeri hasn’t already heard her, which makes the fact that she’s still staring at the closed door that much more nerve-racking. Aeri is probably feeling just as tense as she is. She knocks once, and it's not even a second before the door opens to reveal her soon-to-be ex-wife.
Yizhuo didn’t expect her to look the same, yet she’s still shocked at the person she sees standing in front of her. She’s thinner, not unhealthily so, but it rather looks like she’s taken an interest in exercising. Her eyes glance over Aeri’s frame, and the tone in her upper arms only further confirms her suspicions. Her hair isn't red anymore; instead, she’s sporting a natural black colour. Like the day they first met all those years ago. She’s barefaced, and there’s a scar underneath her eye that wasn't there when she last saw her wife. She can’t help but wonder how the older woman managed that. Despite the circumstances under which they are meeting, Aeri looks content. No bitterness lingers in her stare, and Yizhuo was confident before, but this will certainly make it more difficult.
She’s staring. She’s been staring, and the playful grin on Aeri’s face mocks her for it.
“Uhm, hi, can I come in?” She blunders through the greeting. That wasn't how their first interaction after their break played out in her head. Oh well, it's done now. Aeri has that lazy smile playing at her lips when she steps aside in lieu of answering. She’s met with a mix of sandalwood and vanilla, a scent that takes her back to their shared apartment. Aeri always loved having a sense of peace regarding scents in her space; she's glad to know that even though Aeri’s changed a lot at a simple glance, she was still the same underneath.
“It’s good to see you again. It seems you're doing well,” Yizhuo smiles earnestly, happy for Aeri even if there’s a pull at her heartstrings being back in her presence. “Yeah, I’ve been getting into things I haven't done in a while, it’s been rewarding” Aeri moves past her and leads her to the lounge. Yizhuo follows, her softshell briefcase feeling like lead in her right hand.
Aeri’s a great host, as she’s always been. Once they're settled with some Jasmine tea steeping on the glass coffee table, Yizhuo decides it's time to bite the bullet. She places her case on the table, grabbing the thin stack of paper and extending it to Aeri. Her smile falters, and it’s replaced with the tight-lipped one that doesn't reach her eyes.
It’s a short decree, 9 pages typed up by Minjeong herself. As far as Yizhuo is concerned, there should be no disputes; she keeps what’s hers, and Aeri keeps her things. Yet she’s met with silence as Aeri gets comfortable, getting ready to read through the document. Yizhuo isn't necessarily surprised; Aeri has always been very thorough in everything she does. The silence weighs on her shoulders as Aeri pages through the document, pen in hand to highlight any inaccuracies. Yizhuo could have just sent it over email, and she’s starting to think that is what she should have done. It's a good fifteen minutes before Aeri locks eyes with her again.
“Everything seems to be perfect, glad to know Minjeong is just as thorough when it comes to friendly favours.” Aeri stalls at the last page. Yizhuo’s already signed it on her end. The signature on the page seems to make Aeri’s hand shake slightly, and if it were anyone else, Yizhuo wouldn't have noticed, but whether or not she likes it, she's still accustomed to Aeri’s behaviour even after a year apart. She’s nervous.
Before Yizhuo can ask her about it, she hastily puts pen to paper. Now Yizhuo finds herself frowning. Aeri bunches the papers together and hands them back to Yizhuo. They’ve still not touched the tea.
“So, guess that’s it then” Yizhuo can't find it in herself to look Aeri in the eyes.
“Yeah, guess that's it”, Aeri says under her breath, but Yizhuo hears it nonetheless.
They get up in silence as Aeri leads her to the door. She spares the older woman one last look before she opens the door. Her plans of darting towards her car and getting off of this godforsaken mountain as fast as possible are thwarted the moment she sees the thick blanket of snow covering the mountainside and also her car. She looks to the sky and is met with a curtain of white coming down. She should’ve checked the weather before coming.
“Fuck”, she can't help the profanity slipping out, the universe couldn't be any more cruel. It genuinely feels like someone's about to jump out and say “gotcha!” but no, all she hears is the whistle of the wind picking up as the snow ploughs down more heavily each passing second.
“I’m not letting you drive in this weather” Aeri buckles down, closing the door in finality. Yizhuo laughs at this, because while she’s done many stupid and reckless things in the time they’ve been together, she’s not stupid enough to risk her life just to avoid an awkward situation.
“Don’t worry, that wasn’t the plan. I’m just upset at myself for not checking the weather, is all” She’s still not allowed herself to look at Aeri, but she can only imagine the woman has a sly smirk on that stupid face of hers.
Yizhuo stands there, frozen, contemplating. It’d be excessive to call search and rescue to come and airlift her off this mountain, right? Yeah, that’s a bit insane even for her. The longer she contemplates, the chances of her getting out of here before the storm passes go down to zero. Ok, so she’s stuck here, with her ex-wife.
Technically, not yet, the papers need to be filed, but that's not the point. The point is, she didn't sign up for this.
“Ning, I know you’re a bit frazzled right now, but we need to get your car out of the storm before it gets worse” She’s right, of course; she’s always had this calm air to her in stressful situations. She’d be lying if she said she wasn't grateful for Aeri’s clear mind right now. She doesn't say anything when Aeri grabs her keys from her hands and heads outside, white precipitation sticking to her bare arms. Yizhuo can’t help but just stand there, just processing this extreme curveball of a sick joke played out by the universe.
She jumps when she feels an icy hand on her wrist. Aeri reaches around her to close the front door.
“Once you’re past the shock, you can join me in the lounge. I’ll reheat the tea,” Aeri disappears to the room where they discussed the decree. She lets out a large huff of breath, finally coming to her senses. She immediately reaches for her phone in her pocket, shooting to check for any weather warnings. There it is, a bright yellow warning across her screen showing people to tuck away for three to four days.
Three to four days!? She has work and other minute commitments. Not to mention that she’s unsure how she’ll manage four days around Aeri after not seeing the woman in nearly a year.
Ok, ok, let me just call Minjeong her brain reasons. She doesn't want her friends to freak out because, knowing them, they’d expect her to be dead the moment she's five minutes late. The signal’s also not gonna last forever. With a level three storm warning, the power could go out at any moment.
Minjeong picks up on the second ring, but instead of her friend's voice in the receiver, she's met with a garble of noises being babbled excitedly.
“Junghwan, give mommy the phone, please?” Not long after, Minjeong’s voice becomes clearer as she speaks directly into the receiver, “Hi Ning, are you on the way yet? Jiminie’s just finishing up dinner now.”
“Hi, yeah, so the thing is, I won’t be able to make it,” she winces to herself as the words leave her mouth. She waits for Minjeong's response like a bomb to drop.
“Oooh, you changed your mind?” the older woman teases, and Yizhuo's hand flies to the bridge of her nose instinctually. “No! No, it's nothing like that!” She quickly parries, but she knows the seed has already been planted inside her head.
“Oh, I'm sure”, she singsongs, the line breaking up a bit as the wind surges.
“There's a storm, and I just wanted to let you know that I'll probably be stuck up here for a few days.” She pauses, and it's almost like she can hear Minjeong’s need to comment on the situation, but she doesn't allow her friend to vocalise this; “and no, I'm not going to have fun, so don't say that in that teasing tone of yours”.
Minjeong sighs, and Yizhuo is glad she knows her friend so well.
“Ok, fine then, I hope you don't go stir crazy, but this should be a good opportunity for you to take a break from work, even if it's forced onto you by nature” She's not even thought about that. They're in the middle of a big project too, ugh, she'll have to call her project manager next.
“Yeah, I'll try my best, Jeongie; I'm gonna go now, but give Junghwan a big kiss from his auntie and tell Jimin I say hi as well.” There's silence on the line for a bit, and then a scratchy goodbye from Minjeong before the line goes dead.
She tries for multiple minutes to contact her boss, but the signal is squirrely, so she resigns to the lounge after the 7th try.
“You told everyone you're alright?” She nods, the stress of the unplanned sleepover getting to her.
There's a weird silence as Aeri pours her a cup of tea and slides it over to her.
“So…how's Jimin and Minjeong; how's Junghwan?” Aeri takes charge of the conversation naturally. She's clearly trying to make Yizhuo more comfortable, and she appreciates the older woman's efforts.
“They're good, as always, still as smitten with each other as the day they met; actually, I'll say it's gotten even worse after Junghwan's first birthday” Aeri smiles at the information, happy to know their friends are still strikingly in love. Yizhuo knows it's just bait to get her to talk more; if she actually wanted to know about Minjeong or Junghwan, she would've just asked Jimin.
Yizhuo sips her tea, the room's gone silent again.
“You want to get out of those clothes, Ning? They must be pretty uncomfortable to wear for such long periods of time,” Aeri points to her full black suit getup. She's not wrong; it is comfortable, but only for so long.
Except there's one tiny little issue…this whole thing is unplanned! She has no clothes or toiletries.
“I know what you're thinking about right now, and don't worry, I've got some extra clothes for you, and some toiletries and a towel if you want to shower right now” Yizhuo should've known. The Ughinaga Aeri is always prepared.
“Are you really okay with this? I'd hate to impose” She feels stupid for asking because it's not like she was given a choice, but her mother raised her this way, she can't help it.
“Yeah, Ningie, it's no problem. You can get in the shower and into some fresh clothes while I make some dinner, is that alright with you?” She can only nod. She would've responded, she really would have, but she's not heard that nickname in months. Ningie. Sure, Minjeong calls her that. Hell, even Jimin says it from time to time.
But this is Aeri. The last time she called her that was just before the fight that made them choose to split. She's not thought about that in months.
“Yizhuo?” Aeri's voice rings clear, and she snaps out of her inner monologue.
“Um, yeah, I'd love to shower actually…and yeah, dinner sounds nice.” She lets out an automated polite response; she's unsure she'll be able to muster anything else if she tries. Aeri leads her down the hall to her room, where she rummages in the cupboard for an extra towel and some toiletries. She even has some of the shampoo she loves.
Yizhuo awkwardly shuffles about and waits for Aeri to explain the bathroom's layout. When she exits, it takes her a few minutes to relax enough to actually get undressed and ready to shower.
As the water washes over her, her subconscious fights to bring Aeri to the forefront of her mind, but she subdues it. letting the hot water scald her into numbness. Being in Aeri's presence is causing her enough dissonance; she doesn’t need to actively think about Aeri to make it worse.
She takes her time, mostly because she doesn't want to exit and face Aeri again, but when the water starts to run cold, she's left with no choice.
She's unsure of where Aeri had put the extra clothes, but her worries are quelled as she opens the bathroom door and is met with a long-sleeve shirt and sweats neatly folded in front of her. There are slippers too. Classic Aeri.
She slips into the borrowed garments, the shirt fitting loosely and hanging well below the shorts like a nightgown. The older woman loves her oversized clothes. The fabric feels comforting against her skin; it allows her body heat to reverberate back, unlike the blouse she had on before.
The smell coming from the kitchen is undeniably spicy, and she has a gut feeling that Aeri is cooking up some hotpot broth. Her suspicions are confirmed when she sees the obnoxiously large dish hovering over the stove, the one that Aeri had specifically gotten so they can eat homemade malatang instead of wasting money ordering every time. Aeri is standing over the stove, somehow still content in a tank, while mixing up the broth. She soon places the two small pots on the marble counter while arranging the side dishes around them. Yizhuo is unsure if it’s intentional, but Aeri puts all of her favourites closer to her while almost completely hiding away the ingredients she struggles to eat.
She's not shocked. Honestly, nothing other than the storm thus far has been beyond her comprehension. Aeri still cares for her clearly. That doesn't mean they're not calling it quits. They've already signed the papers.
Yizhuo finds herself leaning on the stained wooden pillar, just observing as Aeri goes through the motions of preparing, only shuffling closer when the woman beckons her to sit.
Whatever, it means nothing. Aeri is a considerate person, and she’d do this for any other friend.
Can she even call them friends, though?
“Ning-ah, I didn't cook your favourite for it to stand and get cold while you stare off into space” There’s no malice; she’s teasing. Yizhuo’s still so acquainted with the older woman’s tone variation.
“Uh, sorry, I just..I feel like I'm intruding, so I don’t want to be a bother,” She answers shyly, finally picking up some meat with the chopsticks and dipping it into the broth. She can feel Aeri’s eyes locked on her; she swears she even sees the woman roll her eyes…but that's just her eyes fooling her…right?
“Ning Yizhuo, stop that. If you say you're bothering me one more time, you can go sleep in your car” Yizhuo almost agrees to that offer, but instead she just bursts out laughing. Aeri’s got a great point; even before they were married, they were comfortable. She shouldn't be so stiff around someone she's known for almost two decades.
“You’re right, I guess it's just odd…being here after we've not seen each other in months,” she says as Aeri reaches over to the wine rack resting on the counter to grab a bottle of red. She nods in understanding while pouring some of the pinot noir. She pushes the glass across the marble countertop, an offering for Yizhuo, and it's difficult to resist because she loves red wine…and Aeri has good taste in it too.
Aeri takes a sip from her glass, swishing the wine around in her mouth before swallowing. “I understand where you’re coming from, Ningie, but it's just me. We’ve known each other half our lives, so all I ask is that you're comfortable under my roof, even if it takes you some time. You're welcome here.” The words cut her like a knife.
You’re welcome here.
How is it that even after everything they've gone through, Aeri is nothing but understanding? Does she not hold any resentment towards Yizhuo? Yizhuo has so many questions and not nearly enough answers, so she downs the wine; a silent agreement to Aeri’s request.
She switches the subject as easily as exhaling, jumping to Aeri's projects at work. They chat in between their bites of meat and veggies. Aeri's cooking tastes divine, especially in this cold weather, the broth warms her from within. Soon enough her side plates are empty, and Aeri fills them up without Yizhuo having to ask.
It's a gradual effect, but Yizhuo can feel her anxiety dissipating bit by bit as they talk about their lives apart and what they've been up to. Yizhuo tells Aeri about the kitten she's gotten and Aeri tells her about her thoughts on selling the cabin. Conversation flows as naturally as it always has, and before Yizhuo can blink, it's pitch black outside and the malatang broth is sitting cold on the counter.
Aeri breaks their mutual trance when she yawns for the fifth time in a row. “Are you tired, Aeri?” Yizhuo giggles, slightly buzzed from the bottle of wine they split.
“Am I that obvious?” She says jokingly while suppressing yet another yawn. She gets up, gathering the plates, and Yizhuo rushes to help her and be a good guest.
“Don't worry, Ningie, I'll take care of this. You go get ready for bed, you remember where the bedroom is?” Yizhuo nods and tries to object, but Aeri gives her a deadpan look of seriousness, so she complies.
She trods down to the familiar door and is flooded with memories as she opens the door. She remembers the countless weekends they've spent between these four walls, rolling around in those exact sheets. Waking up with the sun peeking through, bathing the whole room in a soft light. It's unthinkable how this dark room held so much love. Not that she's let go of that love.
She wills herself past the doorframe, suddenly sober but still immeasurably tired. Her body melts into the mattress when she settles beneath the sheets, and she can hear the clang of pots and pans as Aeri cleans up. She's nearly fully asleep when a thought jolts her awake.
This cabin has two rooms, a study and a bedroom, thus meaning only one bed. If she's sleeping in the bed, then where will Aeri be sleeping? She readies herself to get up and ask about this conundrum when there's a soft knock on the door. Aeri brings in a steaming cup, and a smile creeps onto her face.
“Aeri-yah, where are you gonna sleep tonight?” The question blindsides her, eyebrows scrunched as she looks at Yizhuo with confusion. “As far as I remember, there's only one bed in the cabin,” Yizhuo explains.
“Ah yeah, no worries, there's a sleeper couch in the study, I'll just be sleeping there” She places the tea on the nightstand and turns to leave.
“But…don't you want to sleep in your own bed? I'll sleep in the study!” She starts pulling the sheets back but Aeri holds her wrists down with a gentle pressure. "No, you're the guest, you get the bed" the way she says it with finality makes Yizhuo resign without a fight, bidding Aeri goodnight as she makes her way out of the room.
Falling asleep is no easy affair even though she's exhausted from the day. All that keeps spinning in her head is that today was the first time she's seen Aeri in months and now she's somehow stuck up here for days. She checks her phone and sure enough, the signal is long gone. She rolls around aimlessly, hoping that the budding headache won't bother her too much in the morning.
She's unsure when sleep takes her, but she does remember the surging of the wind against the windows and the slow, methodical creak of the cabin's wooden ceilings.