Chapter Text
Tsukishima stood at the doors of the public library, unwilling to go in. His mother had already driven off however, not that she’d have let him get in anyway, and he was in the next town over so he wasn’t going to be walking home. He eventually steeled himself and walked through the doors, figuring he may as well get it over with. I’ll just go once, and then come up with some excuse not to go again, Tsukishima thought as he looked around the public building, trying to find a sign or something that might indicate where he was supposed to be going, I mean there’s no way she’s going to drive me out here every weekend, she’s too busy for that. He noticed a small handwritten flyer taped to the front of one of the rooms towards the back of the building which could be booked for meetings and clubs. Looking around to make sure no one was looking at him, he shuddered slightly and pushed open the door.
Crap, was the first thought that entered his head, Crap crap crap crap crap. The room was somewhat cramped, a small circle of chairs in the centre of the room and a desk pushed against the side with styrofoam cups of coffee and off-brand crackers. He might have found how cliche it all was amusing if he wasn’t having a minor freak out. What the hell is he doing here?!
There were already a few people in the room, two plain-looking girls, probably in middle school, sat together talking quietly. A middle aged woman who Tsukishima could very easily see being one of the librarians slowly sipped a cup of coffee, looking very uncomfortable as some geeky looking kid droned on and on about some inane topic. Probably trains judging from the “very cool looking” train covered t-shirt he was wearing. A few others milled around the coffee table. The person who Tsukishima was focused on however was sitting in the circle alone, quietly munching away on a few crackers, and thankfully not looking in his direction. We’re in the next town over – what the hell is Asahi-san doing here?!
Tsukishima stood frozen for a moment before promptly turning on the spot to walk out the door, planning to leave before he gave the ace a chance to see him. Screw this – this wasn’t part of the plan. I’d rather wait outside in the dark until Mother comes back to pick me up. He walks over to the door, flinging it open as quickly as he can, only to come face to face with a youngish looking man struggling with a box while trying to open the door.
“Oh, thank you,” the man says, smiling at Tsukishima who is just willing him to get out of his way enough that he can barge through without knocking the man over and causing a scene. “You must be our newest member. Trying to make a run for it already?” he joked. Tsukishima was not joking. Perhaps sensing that, the man ushered him into the room, closing the door behind him, and called the others attention, telling them the session was about to start. He eyed Tsukishima with a pleasant smile spread across his face until Tsukishima relented and trudged over to an empty chair before sitting down. I guess there’s no avoiding it then.
He’d sat near the two middle school girls and one of them, seemingly after being goaded on by the other, tried to greet him and introduce herself. Before she could even finish he interrupted her,
“I really couldn’t care less,” he informed he flatly before turning away, leaving the downtrodden girl to go back to her seat to be comforted by her friend. It was at this point that Asahi looked up, having heard a voice he could swear was familiar, but one he hadn’t heard here before. His eyes widened in recognition when he spotted Tsukishima sitting across the circle from him, his mouth dropping open a bit and a few cracker crumbs dropping into his little goatee. Before he could say anything Tsukishima gave him a glare, apparently harsh enough to make Asahi look like he was about to wet himself. Getting the message he quickly glanced away, absently brushing the crumbs from his face as the man who’d gotten them to all sit in the circle stood up to begin the proceedings.
“Okay everyone, it’s about time we started. First, someone left this watch behind last time, I’m guessing it was you Tahiro-kun,” The train kid looked up to see the watch the man was holding, clearly made for a child, the gaudy thing was acrylic blue with a face depicting the front of an old steam train. Tahiro ran up to grab it eagerly, immediately fastening it onto his wrist. Tsukishima resisted the urge to make some snide remark about a boy his own age being so protective of a thing childish by a toddler’s standards. But, he’d decided the best way to get through this would just be to not do anything – don’t speak, don’t look at anyone, just wait out the hour and go home, hopefully never to return.
“Now, let’s begin where we left off last time. I think we were about to listen to Midori-chan,” he turned to one of the middle school girls, he’d already forgotten which one had spoken to him, “Do you have anything to share this week?”
The girl droned on for twenty minutes about how hard her life was, about how the other girls at school were so mean, all while the other girl rubbed her shoulder gently when she started to cry a little towards the end. Oh my god, Tsukishima thought to himself, externally maintaining a blank stare at the ground, as he’d been doing for the entire session so far and planned to do for the rest of it as well, How pathetic, that girl’s only problem is being too whiny.
Asahi on the other hand had spent the whole time listening intently to the girl’s story, looking almost on the verge of tears himself by the time she’d finished. That was when he hadn’t been furtively glancing over to Tsukishima every thirty seconds as if he’d grown a second head and he was the only one who could see it. Thankfully the hour was almost over by the time they’d gotten through whiny middle school girl number two, and Tsukishima was already itching to leave.
“Now,” the man who’d been leading the group said, Tsukishima could only vaguely remember his name, he was pretty sure it started with an S, but he really didn’t care enough to find out if he was right. “I’m sure you’ve all noticed we have a new member this week, so next time I think we’ll start with him, if that’s okay with everyone?”
A few people nodded slightly, Asahi fidgeting awkwardly in his chair, struggling to pretend as if Tsukishima wasn’t there. Tsukishima silently cursed the man from behind his stony face, even if he didn’t plan on coming back next week, the mere idea of him participating was enough to irritate him. Once it was apparent Tsukishima wasn’t going to acknowledge him, the man sighed and ended the session, packing his things back into the large cardboard box he’d brought with him. Most people seemed happy to stay and chat with each other for a few minutes after that, but Tsukishima was more than ready to leave, rushing out of the door and not stopping until he’d left the library, leaving Asahi in the room, still confused as to what Tsukishima had been doing there.
Standing in the dark parking lot, he sighed in relief when he saw his mother pull up, jogging towards the car and getting in.
“So,” she asked, a little too eagerly, “How was your first therapy session?”
“It’s not therapy,” Tsukishima tersely corrected her, “And it was fine. In fact, it was so great that I’m cured and never have to go back again.”
“Kei-chan,” she sighed, “I want you to at least try. Yamaguchi-kun was really concerned when he came to me, I am too,”
“Yamaguchi is a worrywort who should learn to keep his nose out of other people’s business. There’s nothing wrong with me.” Tsukishima snapped, attempting to will the car to start and the conversation to end.
“He worries because he cares Kei. We only want what’s best for you, and you can’t keep ignoring the problem,” his mother explained, “It would really mean a lot to me if you just tried a little next week,” she asked hopefully.
“But I already told you,” Tsukishima said, “I’m fine now, I don’t need to go back-“
“You’re going back.” she interrupted him in her strictest ‘mum voice’. Tsukishima fumed in silence, apparently his mother was planning to be stubborn about this. That was fine, he could be stubborn too. Eventually she’d give up and he could get back to his life.
He looked down at the flyer sitting next to him, the one his mother had seen and shown him excitedly the other day, and the same as the one that had been taped to the front of the door. “Anxiety Help Group. A safe space where people can discuss their anxiety with other people like them and help each other to come up with healthy ways to live with it.” He scrunched up the piece of paper, throwing it into the back of the car, despite his mother’s disapproving look. It was just an hour a week, he could deal with that. The real problem was going to be Asahi.