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Shen Yuan knew he was in another world for real when he tasted the food. Sure, the porcelain pillow, the ridiculously flowy robes, he could excuse as some elaborate prank, but no way they would serve food this heavenly to some poor fool! He glanced at the man who served him his food, and the sight that greeted him took his breath away even more than the meal in front of him. The stallion of a young man in front of him was certainly more delicious than any dish – his long, curly hair, his finely muscled form, the slight smile that curved his mouth. Surely, there was no way that the maidens from all over the world were not fawning over this specimen!
“Hello?” Shen Yuan ventured. The young man straightened up, eyes brightening.
“Yes?” Even his voice was perfect. He must have noticed Shen Yuan’s discomfort, because he grasped his hands within his own large ones. “You were hit with the poison of the Thousand-Petal Chrysanthemum. Nothing fatal, but it’s known to cause significant memory loss. And don’t worry, we’ll bring your memory back soon enough.” He moved forward, bringing himself into Shen Yuan’s space. Slowly, he brought his right hand up to Shen Yuan’s face.
“I’m sorry, but do I know you? Where am I?” Shen Yuan blurted. It wasn’t like he was too opposed to this beautiful man bringing himself closer to Shen Yuan, but it looked a little too much like they were about to get intimate!
Obviously, they had some history together, and Shen Yuan didn’t know all the rules about male-male friendships here, but some propriety seemed right. At his question, the other man pulled back, his neatly trimmed eyebrows knitting together.
“I’m sorry, Shen Qingqiu. I didn’t realize that the memory loss was that severe. I’m Luo Binghe, I’ll be here if you need anything, just over in the next room.” Shen Yuan couldn’t help but internally applaud a little. He was certainly doing very well for himself here if he had someone as attentive and dedicated as Luo Binghe around. As Luo Binghe prepared to leave, Shen Yuan caught onto his sleeve, causing him to turn around, expression open.
“Thank you for looking after me,” Shen Yuan said. “You must be my greatest friend here.” At his words, Luo Binghe’s face shuttered a little, perplexingly. Maybe Shen Yuan wasn’t so good at giving compliments after all… Luo Binghe left for real, and Shen Yuan sat with a still-steaming bowl of congee. He took a bite.
It was the best food he had had in a long time.
He took a moment to orient himself to his surroundings and situation. So he was someone named Shen Qingqiu, and this was his house. He had a good friend named Luo Binghe who was taking care of him while his body was supposed to recover its memories. He felt a little pang of guilt at that—whoever Luo Binghe expected him to be, it was unlikely that the host spirit would come back.
The next day, it was as if nothing strange had transpired the night before. Luo Binghe was gracious and very, very, good with a knife. His deft fingers sorted out all the ingredients for their breakfast with speed and precision. If Shen Yuan had been cooking, it was a sure bet that he would have cut all his fingers and then fried them in an attempt to recover them! In his past life, he had stayed comfortable on a steady diet of ramen and takeout, but if food here was anything like the congee he had before, then he could appreciate the allure of a home-cooked meal.
Later, Luo Binghe took him outside for his first look at the world he was living in. Everywhere he looked was mountainous yet lush in vegetation, serene in its beauty. It was the kind of unreal composition he would have expected from an edited screensaver from the Internet. It seemed like the only real people in the world were him and Luo Binghe. He glanced up at Luo Binghe (he was so tall!) and met his gaze. Sure, this view must not have been anything new to a seasoned inhabitant, but was Shen Yuan really more interesting to look at than what was in front of them?
“Wow, this is a whole other kind of world,” Shen Yuan said. Luo Binghe grinned down at him.
“You like it?”
“Yes, it’s so cool!” A twinkle appeared in Luo Binghe’s eye.
“Well, do you want to see something even more ‘cool’?”
If Shen Yuan had thought that the endless vista outside his house was impressive, it truly had nothing on where they were now. When Luo Binghe had said that he would enjoy this place, Shen Yuan had privately assumed it would be something nice but inoffensive, the kind of thing he said he liked to people he didn’t want to alienate.
But this? This was beautiful, and it was also total carnage. Birds made up of nothing but bone swooped down from the sky at random intervals, picking up whatever unlucky life tried to survive in the wasteland they were in. The air was hot and dry, whipping across his face. The grass was long dead, crunching underneath their feet as they walked. Every so often, they’d pass by a skeleton with inhuman geometry, whether it be protruding horns or multiple arms.
“Wow,” Shen Yuan breathed. “This is really awesome.”
Forget about whatever nature documentaries there were in his previous life, this was way more interesting—and he was right in the middle of natural selection! He turned to Luo Binghe.
“I had to have written about these things, right?”
“I believe you did,” said the other cultivator. Cultivator? Yes, he had to be a cultivator, and Shen Yuan was too, probably. They had ridden a sword on the way here, really, how had he not noticed before? “You were always very fascinated by the monsters of the realms.”
“I must have bothered you with all my notes,” said Shen Yuan, flushing a little bit. He was a little embarrassed for past him; he could go on for hours when he was passionate about something. It was just that the monsters here were so cool.
“No, never. You could never bother me.” Luo Binghe took his hand in his, twining their fingers together. Shen Yuan sure was lucky to have such a good friend! He took their joined hands and pointed to a rocky outcropping to the west. “Although this area in particular is dominated by Bone Eagles, there are still some other species of birds around. The one we’re looking for, the Petrified Stone Hawk, is known for their special eggs.”
They walked over, still holding hands. Luo Binghe’s hand was really large, and it was almost supernaturally warm. Shen Yuan thought it reflected the vitality of his companion. As they neared what Luo Binghe had pointed out, Shen Yuan saw why he had been brought there: what he thought was a natural rock formation was actually a petrified nest! When he looked inside he thought for a second it was empty, only to realize that the egg inside looked also like a rock. It was convenient that it seemed all the names of animals in this place were literal. Luo Binghe reached in and grabbed the egg, noticing Shen Yuan’s horrified expression a second later.
“It’s okay to take this egg; it’s a dud. Look around, you can see the rest of the brood has hatched. Not this one, though, so we better take it before it actually turns to stone. It’s really very tasty, I’ll make you something good with it when we get back home.”
“You don’t have to call where I live home, it’s fine, I know that you must have a life somewhere else. A man like you, you must have a special girl at your real home waiting for you,” Shen Yuan teased. Again, Luo Binghe’s face did that confusing dance where it flattened out to blankness before recovering. “What’s your special someone like? And don’t lie to me, you have to have someone!”
Luo Binghe blinked at him slowly before smiling a little.
“You’re very astute, I do have someone. As for what they’re like, they’re very passionate about what they like, I suppose. They have a lot of strong opinions, but they have a sense of justice to match that. They’re forgiving, and kind, and too good for me.” Luo Binghe’s eyes, while looking at him, were full of fondness which could have only been for this mystery partner.
“Well, we should get moving, and keep trying to get my memory back. I shouldn’t be in the way of young love!” Shen Yuan said, suddenly feeling a little like a cactus, little thorns under his skin. Luo Binghe obliged, bringing him onto his sword. His big hands settled on Shen Yuan’s waist.
“Shen Yuan should tell me if he remembers something, alright?” Luo Binghe murmured in his ear, causing Shen Yuan to blush all over like some favored concubine.
Really, he needed to get his memory back!
They ventured further into what Shen Yuan assumed was the place where demons and other unfriendlies hung out, considering the tasteful human skeletons strewn about. Shen Yuan would surely transmigrate several hundred times if it meant he got to go to strange realms like these!
They dismounted to travel underground into a tunnel system, arriving shortly before a set of gates. Luo Binghe looked him up and down with a critical eye before pulling out a cloak from his qiankun pouch.
“We can’t go into the city without drawing unnecessary attention to ourselves. You should be fine with just this. I’ll use a talisman.”
That made sense—clearly Luo Binghe was so powerful that just some ordinary disguise wouldn’t do the trick. He was so effortlessly cool, even while sticking a talisman to his chest and morphing into a demon.
As they approached the gates, Luo Binghe slung an arm over his shoulder.
“Don’t worry, you’ll like this,” he said, and they entered.
The market was choked with stalls, and they had to travel single-file to avoid taking up too much room. All around them, demons haggled over all manner of items: oxen with three heads, burlap sacks filled with things that twitched, frogs that spat blood. It was intimidating at first to see all the different configurations of a humanoid there were, but all in all it seemed that demons weren’t so different from humans, albeit with a lot more fighting and casual body dismemberment than would be accepted in human establishments. At least, in human establishments back home—maybe the rules were different here, but this seemed like a pretty typical xianxia setting, assuming Shen Yuan had transmigrated. Hopefully he had made it into a really high-quality work, not some internet webnovel thousand-chapter pay-per-chapter trash. He wasn’t looking forward to having to fix any plot holes! Luo Binghe pulled him along until they found a spot with some benches.
“Wait here!” Luo Binghe shouted in his ear. “I’ll be right back, you’ll like it! Just don’t move from here!”
Obedient, Shen Yuan sat down. Luo Binghe disappeared into the crowd, weaving through it with expert precision. So he’d been here before… clearly his companion was a non-discriminating kind of guy. Shen Yuan was lucky, really lucky. His quiet glow of contentment was interrupted by a ball smacking into his leg. Bemused, he picked it up. Even this was unlike a regular ball; its texture was unlike any animal skin he remembered encountering in his past life.
“Hey mister, throw it back!”
Shen Yuan looked up to see a little blue girl jump up and down, her arms outstretched. He lobbed the ball back at her, and it only made it about halfway to her before ineffectively bouncing a little bit and being kicked away by the foot traffic. The little blue girl stared at him, open mouthed, before making a rude gesture.
“You suck!” Her compatriots must have heard her shout, because soon enough, there was a little fleet of blue children telling him exactly how lacking he was in basic movement. Shen Yuan knew, okay?? It was bad enough that he was a NEET in his last life, and apparently in this life he didn’t bother to become an athlete either.
The children were too overwhelming in their intensity and numbers, and soon Shen Yuan felt an inescapable urge to get out of there. Luo Binghe shouldn’t be that far, after all…
He wandered through the crowd in the direction he remembered watching Luo Binghe leave in. This body and Luo Binghe must really have spent a lot of time together, because he had some kind of Binghe-sense pulling him to the man he sought. He spotted Luo Binghe’s distinctive hair (present even in his demon disguise) and made to rush over to his side before seeing the woman by his side.
His first impression of her was that she was as beautiful as she was scantily clad. Back in his past life she would have definitely been an idol, and there Binghe was, talking to her. Even Shen Yuan could admit that they made a handsome couple. Maybe she was Luo Binghe’s special someone? She definitely had the stance of someone passionate about what she was talking about, and she didn’t seem afraid to talk to Luo Binghe casually. Shen Yuan hung back, unwilling to third wheel. Unluckily for him, the woman picked him out, waving at him. Luo Binghe turned around and his expression changed from one of serious professionalism to what he was more used to: the openness that came with seeing a good friend. The mystery woman patted him on the shoulder before leaving, and Luo Binghe made his way over to Shen Yuan.
“What happened? I told you to stay over at the benches. Well, no matter, I was just coming back. Here, take this!” He extended a stick of something that looked very similar to tanghulu, which, strangely, Shen Yuan had been craving at that very moment.
“Who were you talking to? You seem close,” Shen Yuan said, pushing the proffered candy to the side.
“Oh, she’s just one of my subordinates. Take it, you’ll like it!” Subordinate? Maybe Luo Binghe was into that kind of workplace romance, like she was his secretary or something. Shen Yuan felt a little like the spurned wife in one of those movies, waiting for her errant husband to come home. That! That was too silly! Seriously, what were these kinds of thoughts Shen Yuan was having about his friend? He took the candy.
“—I also got some sauces that pair very well with the egg we got,” Luo Binghe was saying something more about the food they were getting, but there was something on his face that Shen Yuan could just get if he reached up—Luo Binghe suddenly cut his words off as Shen Yuan brushed the lint off his face.
“Oh, sorry, you just had something on—” Shen Yuan gestured to the area around where he had wiped it off. Luo Binghe’s eyes tracked his fingers. “Thanks for getting the sauce.”
Binghe smiled at him.
“Anything for you.”
Their final stop was in a human city, which meant Binghe could shed his monstrous disguise in favor of donning a simple cloak like Shen Yuan. Again, they stopped just before city limits and dismounted Binghe’s sword. Shen Yuan stumbled and felt himself falling, before feeling strong hands encircle his waist.
“Are you okay?” Binghe was so close he could feel his breath on his face. One thing was for certain about this weird situation—Shen Yuan was not getting out of this with his dignity intact! He stepped back with as much grace as he could muster, wiping his robes of any dirt, imaginary or not. He was (probably) a high-level cultivator, so he should act as one, right?
“Yes, Binghe, thank you for catching me.” Before Shen Yuan could really think about it, he stepped forward and tousled Binghe’s hair. It was hard to resist, especially when Binghe made a face of pure happiness. It reminded him a little of a loyal puppy.
The human city was much different than the demon one. It was subdued almost to the point of total silence, with only a couple of people walking around. One with wispy chin hairs called out to them.
“Hey, what are you doing here? It’s way past curfew, and too dangerous for a couple of civilians to be walking around like this. Only guards like me can be out right now,” the guard said, hands on hips and chest puffed. Ugh, this guy was so full of himself! Weren’t children supposed to be brought up with respect and humility in their hearts?
“Well, what’s going on? It can’t be that dangerous, if they’re putting people like you up against it,” Shen Yuan sniped back. He had reason to believe that he could (probably) take on a monster, and at the very least it would be super cool to observe its hunting patterns. The guard turned beetroot red and sputtered a little, jabbing his finger at Shen Yuan’s chest. Before it could hit him, though, a large hand grabbed the guard’s wrist. Binghe peeled the offending limb away from Shen Yuan, ignoring the guard’s pained protests.
“Hey now. I’m sure you can point us in the area of an inn, right, instead of wasting our time?”
The guard blubbered as he gestured to what seemed to be the only building with its lights on. Binghe dropped his hands, leaving the guard to cradle his arm to his chest before striding away.
Wow, so cool!! Binghe really had a protagonist's aura around him. Shen Yuan could believe he could be one of those stallion protagonists with a huge harem, pulling in women wherever he went. It wouldn’t be too bad to be a woman in a harem, Shen Yuan thought, as long as a man like Binghe was in charge. He would totally keep them secure until the rest of their days. It was kind of weird that he only seemed to be attached to one person, though. She must be really special for him to be so faithful to her.
Again, that prickly feeling in his chest. Well, of course Shen Yuan would be jealous—jealous of Binghe, with a wife waiting for him at home! He breathed out a sigh and followed Binghe, relieved to finally understand why he was feeling so weird.
That relieved feeling ended very quickly when the innkeeper told them that they only had one room with one cot. Really, what bad service!! Binghe didn’t seem to mind, though, and soon they were in their room with the promised single bed. His companion opened his mouth but Shen Yuan beat him to the punch.
“I have a feeling that I know what you’re going to say and I’ll say right back to you: absolutely not. I’ll sleep on the floor, you should have the bed, really, you probably need the space more than I do. You’ve been more than gracious to me and I should return the favor—”
“We could share the bed,” interrupted Binghe. He met Shen Yuan’s eyes, then glanced away quickly. His throat bobbed.
“Well, if Binghe insists,” said Shen Yuan slowly. “At least let me help you get ready for bed.”
A little while later, Shen Yuan found himself slowly combing through Binghe’s hair. Sure, it might be a little close for friends to do, but if he thought about it enough, it was less like a married couple thing and more like an ape bonding ritual, like when monkeys picked bugs out of each other’s fur. Yeah, that was all it was, a male bonding ritual. Because Binghe was… yeah. Right?
They put themselves to bed back to back, which was not so good for Shen Yuan, because it meant that he could feel the sheer breadth of Binghe’s back, could vividly imagine the corded muscles cultivated there. He tried to stay awake to avoid making any embarrassing mistakes, but the steady warmth of the body next to him lulled him into a deep sleep.
He was jolted to awareness by a loud thud and a piercing scream. Panicked, he groped at the other side of the bed while his vision resolved to a figure struggling in the corner of the room, Binghe’s sword lodged deep within its shoulder. Binghe himself was standing over it, fists clenched and teeth bared. A red mark shone on his forehead.
“A skinner demon. You really thought you could best me?” Binghe snarled at the figure. As Shen Yuan drew closer, he recognized it as the innkeeper, but it was definitely inhuman now. It glared up at Binghe, then turned its attention to Shen Yuan.
“Nah, but I thought I could get your little friend here.” Its voice was scratchy and pitched too high. “He seems like a delicate little morsel.”
“Wait,” Shen Yuan said, crouching before the demon. “So you take the skin of your victim and wear it? Or am I getting that wrong?”
The skinner demon looked a little irritated. “No, I transform into the victim after taking its qi, stupid. And you would have never known—” its monologue was cut off by Binghe kicking it in the face, hard.
“Of course I would have known! I would have known him in any body. I would have known when some lackluster impostor tried to pass himself off as my closest companion and my dearest partner. You’re the one who didn’t think. You think I wouldn’t have been able to tell? I know him blind. I know him deaf. Die already.” He withdrew his sword from its shoulder and sliced its head off cleanly. The head rolled to a stop at Shen Yuan’s feet. Binghe came to Shen Yuan, and it was like the terrifying warrior from earlier was gone, replaced by the young man that Shen Yuan knew.
“Binghe? What does that mark on your forehead mean?” Shen Yuan reached out and tried to touch the glowing symbol, holding fast onto Binghe as he tried to jerk away.
“I’m not human, I’m sorry, I’m a demon, I didn’t mean for you to find out this way, I really didn’t. It’s fine, you can hate me, you can go,” Binghe said. He looked pathetic, with his bottom lip trembling and eyes brimming with unshed tears.
“No, Binghe, no, it’s okay. I could never hate you. It looks really awesome, actually.” Binghe giggled a little wetly. “We can work this out. And we should let everyone know that the demon’s dead.”
The townspeople were grateful, and of course gravitated to Binghe’s charm. Despite their offers of whatever they wanted, Binghe took what they had come there for: a couple bags of flour. He grinned at Shen Yuan.
“Are you ready to go home?”
The mountain house was as he remembered, small and loved. It seemed like ages ago he had woken up there, but it had been in fact only a couple of days. Once inside, Binghe got to work. He pulled what he needed out with speed and efficiency—he probably knew the kitchen better than anyone else. Shen Yuan made a game attempt at helping, but Binghe firmly relegated him to sitting and watching. He watched raptly as Binghe made the noodle dough and pulled it by hand, as he mixed sauces and spices together, occasionally popping outside to grab a mushroom or two, as he put everything together and fried it. They ended up with one huge bowl of noodles. Binghe sat beside him, looking at him so expectantly Shen Yuan started to feel a little performance anxiety.
“I bet you did an amazing job Binghe, thank you for the meal.” Shen Yuan patted his head, just because he couldn’t help it. Now that the dish was in front of him, he vaguely recognized it. “Longevity noodles? What are we celebrating?”
“Oh, nothing in particular,” said Binghe, pressing his head into Shen Yuan’s hand. “I hope you like it. And we don’t want to break the noodle. I heard that the longer you can keep the noodle, the more luck you’ll have later.”
They started eating, and Binghe proved he wasn’t kidding about how long the noodles were; Shen Yuan found himself with a mouthful of noodles very quickly. He kept an eye on Binghe, who seemed to have no trouble at all slurping up noodle after noodle. It was very well done, and the flavors of the sauces perfectly complemented each other.
Shen Yuan was so caught up in the quality of the dish that he didn’t realize that he and Binghe chose the same noodle. It became apparent to them as they ate, but he could see his hesitation to break the noodle reflected in Binghe’s eyes. They drew closer and closer. At some point Binghe had to break it, right, or end up kissing him!! Shen Yuan certainly wasn’t going to break it, he needed all the luck he could get! But as they got closer and closer he rationalized: it wasn’t really gay if it was an accident. Bros kiss each other all the time, on the mouth… Binghe’s mouth…
As soon as their lips touched each other, everything returned to him, and Shen Qingqiu bit down so hard on his husband’s bottom lip he broke skin and noodle.
Later, Shen Qingqiu made sure to let his husband know exactly how he felt about the total deception he had been dragged through.
“Yes, yes, I know,” laughed Binghe as he caught Shen Qingqiu’s fan against his chest. “Yes, I’m sorry, but I didn’t want to scare you away. You were so excited about us being friends, I didn’t want to make you swoon when I told you exactly how friendly we were.” He batted his eyelashes.
Shen Qingqiu flushed, realized he was flushing, and hid his face with his fan. “You are impossible. How could I forget how impertinent you are?”
Luo Binghe smiled, eyes crinkling, and swept his husband off his feet, ignoring the swats raining down on his back. “Well, I’ll make sure you will never, ever forget again.”