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Stephanie hit the mat with a thud. She groaned, sitting up and rubbing her back. Cass watched her and nodded.
"Better."
"Better?" Stephanie huffed. "I still lost."
"Less... than before."
They'd been training for two weeks now, which meant two weeks of Stephanie getting her butt kicked. Cass was impossibly fast, blocking her moves before she could even make them—sometimes she swore Cass had secret superpowers. At least she was learning something in between all the new bruises. What Cass was getting out of this, Stephanie had no idea.
"Alright, let's go again," Stephanie said, staggering to her feet. "This time I'll last more than a minute."
Cass shook her head. "No. Break."
"I can keep going!"
"After the break. Let your body... breathe."
They sat on a bench together. Cass took a swig from her water bottle, a white cylinder with a bat imprinted on it. Her tank top also had a bat stitched into the fabric. What did Stephanie need to do to get some official Bat merchandise? Right now, she had to resort to sewing the bats on herself.
"Where'd you get that bottle, Cass?"
"Batman," Cass said, taking another gulp.
"Oh." No way he'd give her one of those.
Cass looked at her. "You want one?"
"I just think it's cool," Stephanie said, flushing. "But, I mean, I can make one myself. There's a crafts store near my house, and—"
"Here."
Cass held out the bottle.
Stephanie blinked. "You—oh, I couldn't. It's yours."
"I have more. Take it."
"Well..." Stephanie took the bottle, running her fingers over the bat. "Let's just say we'll share it. Okay?"
"Okay."
It almost sounded like Cass was smiling.
****
Stephanie grasped onto the ledge with all her strength. Cass was on the roof, waiting for her. She just had to make it over. Just had to pull—and rise—and—
"Tag!"
She launched herself up and bowled Cass over. They lay on the roof, laughing, the adrenaline rushing through Stephanie's veins. She'd never jumped that far before. If only Tim could've seen her!
"Good one!" Cass' laugh rang through the night, strong and loud. It never failed to make Stephanie smile.
They sat at the edge of the roof, swinging their legs over the city. Stephanie reached into a pouch in her belt and pulled out two lollipops.
"Here," she said, handing one to Cass.
Cass tore off the wrapping, shoving the lollipop in her mouth. She hummed in satisfaction.
"It's so good, isn't it? It's my absolute favourite."
"You have more?"
Stephanie rummaged in her belt, pulling out five more lollipops. She tossed them towards Cass.
"Have as many as you want," she said, grinning. "Mom got me a whole box last week. Think of it as payment for training me."
Cass frowned. She pushed the lollipops back towards Stephanie.
"You don't like them?"
"No. I... I like..." Cass turned away. "I don't need payment. For training you."
"Oh, I didn't mean it like that. Just think of it as a gift, then. I've got way too many to eat by myself. Plenty to share."
"...Fine." Cass snatched up the lollipops again.
Stephanie stood up, stretching her arms. "Eat them quick, Cassie. 'Cause you're it!" She grappled off the roof, laughing.
****
"Can you believe it?" Stephanie twirled around, the Robin cape settling around her shoulders. "The domino mask takes a little getting used to, but otherwise, this rocks! Batman and I even had a meal together. Me! With Batman! In the Batcave!"
Cass smiled through her mask.
They crouched on a roof together, surveying the streets. Working with Batman was a dream come true, but working with Batgirl was a whole other story. With Batman, as much as she tried, she couldn't really relax. It wasn't his fault—she hadn't been good enough before, not for him or anyone. Batgirl could be cryptic too, but it was easier around her. Especially when she smiled like that.
"Hey, B.G. Can I share something with you? It's a bit random."
Batgirl nodded.
"Sometimes it just—it feels like a dream," Stephanie said. "Being Robin, I mean. Sometimes I wonder when I'm gonna wake up and find out it wasn't real. Do you get what I mean?"
"Yes. Like it could all disappear."
"I knew you'd get it."
Cass reached out and patted her shoulder. "It's real. You're Robin. I'm Batgirl."
"The dynamic duo," Stephanie said, grinning. The pressure of Cass' hand was warm. "Forever and ever, yeah?"
Cass squeezed her shoulder.
****
A few minutes ago, or maybe a few seconds, Stephanie wasn't sure, her hands had gone numb. That was how she knew she was going to die.
Her eyes wouldn't open properly, so she was looking through little slits. Thin strips of the ceiling. No life flashing before her eyes. She was messing up the whole dying thing, just like she'd messed up everything else.
Was this how Dad had felt? Was she going to see him, down in Hell? That meant she'd never see Mom again. Maybe she deserved that, too.
Something creaked. A door. A shadow loomed over her, and through the slits she could make out two pointy ears.
Batgirl? It had to be. She still had so much to share.
She opened her mouth.
****
"How do you feel?"
"Fine." Stephanie lay down on the bed, the fan circling overhead. She really did feel fine. Neutral. Not in pain. Nothing at all.
"You need to be honest with me, Stephanie." Leslie leaned forward on the chair, placing a hand on her arm. "You'll recover a lot faster if you cooperate."
"Who says I want to recover?"
"Stephanie," Leslie said sharply.
"Kidding." Stephanie smiled, or tried to. "I'm all good, Doc. It doesn't hurt anymore."
She'd had a dream last night. She'd had a lot of dreams lately. Dreams of Robin, herself or Tim, sometimes both. Sometimes Batman saying, it was real. Sometimes Batman saying, it was never real, you silly little girl. Sometimes Gotham City burning to the ground, a baby crying from a building she wouldn't reach in time.
And last night—Batgirl.
Leslie sighed. "I'm glad to hear that. But if you have anything to share—"
"I don't."
"Alright." Leslie got up, placing a hand on Stephanie's head. "Whatever you're feeling, Stephanie, I just want you to know it's not forever."
"I know," Stephanie said.
****
Cassandra hated her.
She knew it in the marrow of her bones. Cass, who hated death—who fought every day and night to prevent it—who'd called out to her, asking her to go home. She'd lied to her face. Cass hated her for that, and for dying, and for staying away, and most importantly, most terribly, for coming back.
Stephanie swallowed the bile rising in her throat.
"Spookygirl," she said.
Cassandra didn't turn around. The cave was so quiet. Not even the flutter of a bat's wings. Only Cass' hatred and her own loud, hammering heartbeat.
"Cass," she said. "It's good to see you. We've barely seen each other since I—got back."
Silence. Stephanie's vision blurred. She'd really ruined everything, hadn't she?
"I get it if you never want to see me again. But I just wanted to—I mean, I—"
"What?" Cass' voice was raw, scraped open. Stephanie had never heard her sound like that before.
The apologies, explanations, excuses all died. There was a gaping pit in Stephanie's stomach, a pit that had been there since she'd left Gotham, a pit she'd thought coming back would fill. How silly of her.
"I just wanted to give this back to you." Stephanie pulled the water bottle from her bag, held it out. "I found it in my room, and I don't..." Deserve it. "...need it anymore."
Cass turned, then. Her eyes were exactly how Stephanie had dreamed them.
She took the bottle.
****
Pain flooded in first, then light.
Stephanie gasped. The bright, sterile lights of the Batcave glared down at her. She almost laughed. Here, again. Tim was going to kill her.
"Stephanie."
Cass sat in the corner, half hidden by shadow. Stephanie sat up, wincing as pain shot across her ribs.
"Batgirl. You saved me?"
"I thought you'd given up Spoiler."
"I have. I just—old habits are hard to break, I guess."
Cass got up, moving into the light. It had been a while since they'd last seen each other. Cass' hair had grown out a little, the ends brushing against her shoulders.
"How'd you know to save me?"
"Oracle," Cass said. "And I was close by."
Stephanie swung her legs over the side of the bed, the ground cold beneath her. Before she could stand up, Cass clamped a hand on her arm.
"No."
Stephanie frowned. "I'm fine, Cass. Just a couple bruised ribs is all. Let go of me."
"No."
"Oh, come on." The heat rose in Stephanie's cheeks. "You've avoided me for weeks, and now you want to play babysitter?"
"I wasn't avoiding you."
"We both know you're a terrible liar."
"I—" Cass' mouth twisted, and she pulled her hand away, finally. The warmth from her grip faded. "I've been... busy."
"Being adopted? Congratulations, by the way. You two must be having such a great time together."
She couldn't quite keep out the bitterness. Bruce was always going to be between them. Or, more accurately, it was always going to be Cass siding with him over her. But who could blame her? Who would ever have Stephanie Brown as their first choice?
"Anyway, I really am happy for you." Stephanie pushed to her feet, steadying herself against the bed frame. "I'll just get out of your hair now."
"Wait!"
Despite everything, Stephanie stopped.
"It's not about him. It's not..." Cass' voice wobbled. "It's me."
"I know. I don't blame you," Stephanie said tonelessly. "I'd wouldn't forgive me either, if I were you."
"Forgive you?"
"Yeah." Stephanie paused. "That's—I mean, that's what this is about, right? I destroyed Gotham. I faked my death. I lied to you. I know I'm not exactly friend of the year."
"You think I'm—angry with you?"
"You're not?"
"No. Yes." Cass clenched her fists. "When you left, it was... I... Nothing was real anymore. Nothing. And then I..."
Tears formed in her eyes, and Stephanie's heart dropped. She remembered the first time she'd seen Cass cry. On the rooftop, bent over Shadow Thief, looking back with tears streaming down her cheeks. Help me.
"Cass—"
"I'm not good," Cass said. She was staring at her hands. "I was trying to be, but I can't. When you were gone, I—what I did—"
"You mean when you were brainwashed?"
Cass flinched.
"Babs told me," Stephanie continued, softer now. "That wasn't your fault, Cass. Nobody blames you. You have nothing to be sorry for."
She kept staring at her hands.
Stephanie came forward gingerly, trying not to jostle her ribs. She reached out and took Cass' hands in her own. They were rough, covered in scars. Stephanie traced one with her thumb.
"You're good, Batgirl," Stephanie said. "You've always been good. Maybe you can't see that, but I can. And I always will."
Cass didn't say anything for a while. Then, just as Stephanie started wondering whether she'd screwed things up again, Cass said: "you too."
Stephanie's eyes felt hot. She turned away for a moment before turning back, meeting Cass' gaze. They shared a slow, meaningful smile.
****
The rain pelted her cloak. Stephanie drew the Spoiler hood lower, trying to keep the drops out of her lenses. Wet lenses were a pain in the butt to clean, especially when you didn't have a fancy butler taking care of everything.
Stephanie winced. As much as she and Alfred hadn't always gotten along, she still felt for him. He'd basically raised Bruce, and now Bruce was...
"Spoiler."
Stephanie whirled around. "Don't scare me like that, Batghoul! It's hard enough to spot you without the rain. Hey, are—are you okay?"
Batgirl was trembling. She yanked her mask off, her lips pressed together.
"He's gone," she said. "He's gone, Stephanie."
"Oh, Cass." Stephanie opened her arms and Cass flew into them, pressing her face into Stephanie's shoulder. "It's okay. It's going to be okay."
"He's dead."
The words hit Stephanie's ears with a hollow ring. A memory surfaced: Batman catching her by the ankle, pulling her onto a roof. He'd said things to her he might not have told anyone else, not Tim, not Cass. What if this task outlasts me? Who takes up the fight in my absence?
But her best friend was sobbing into her shoulder, so she tucked the memory away for another day.
"Hey, c'mon. Let's go back to my place and I'll make you some of the best mashed potatoes ever. We've got a big jug of milk too, and you can have it all."
Cass pulled back, wiping her nose. She wasn't smiling.
"I can't—" She started to take off the suit. "This symbol... I can't do this."
"Batgirl, what are you—"
"Here." Cass tossed the suit towards her. Stephanie caught it, gaping.
"But—this is yours, Cass."
"It's yours now. Take it."
"This is too much." Stephanie ran her fingers over the bat symbol, over the suit that she'd never even dreamed of wearing. "If you're serious, maybe we could share it. Like—Cass? Cassandra?"
Stephanie looked up. Cass was gone.
****
There was something strange about the girl.
Not just strange in the way any silent girl who could beat up all the Robins would be strange. There was something else, something Stephanie couldn't put a finger on. She looked down at Harper on the cot, who was just starting to wake.
"You alright?"
"I feel like I've been crocheted on," Harper said, lifting up her shirt. She prodded the stitches on her stomach. "I guess I have been."
"Be careful! I did my best, but I'm used to sewing clothes, not people."
"You did this? Neat."
"Hey, Harper. Is there something—weird about that girl, to you?"
Harper followed her gaze. The girl stood in the shadows, hood drawn, watching them.
"You mean Cassandra? What's not weird about her is the real question."
Cassandra. That name—it meant something to her. But how? They'd never met before, as far as Stephanie could recall.
She found herself walking over.
"Hi," Stephanie said. "I'm Spoiler, a.k.a Stephanie Brown. You're Cassandra, right?"
Cassandra stared at her. Maybe Stephanie was imagining it, but it almost seemed like a flicker of recognition passed through her eyes before she reached into her belt, pulling out two little sticks. Lollipops. She held one out to Stephanie.
"For me?" Stephanie took it, reading the wrapper. "This—wow, this is my favourite! Is it your favourite too?"
"Yes."
"Thanks for sharing it, then." Stephanie grinned. "I think we're gonna be best friends, don't you?"
Cassandra smiled.
****
Stephanie tore into the empanadilla. The anger was still there, simmering under the weeks she'd had to process everything. She couldn't stop seeing the images of herself from another world, another life—a life where she'd been Robin, where she'd been Batgirl. Memories had been trickling back ever since. Most of it hadn't exactly been good, but it was still so unfair. How much had been stolen from her? How much of herself had she lost?
"Stephanie?"
Stephanie swallowed the last of the empanadilla, shooting Cass a smile. "Sorry. Just got lost in my head a bit. What's up?"
"You were thinking about... our other life." Cass had finished her empanadillas ages ago, and now she was staring out at the Gotham skyline. "What we were."
"You got me. I just—I hate it, Cass. Thinking about what was taken from us. I mean, you were Batgirl."
"You were Batgirl, too."
"Yeah." Stephanie drew her knees up. "I had a dream about it last night, or I guess a memory. Working with Babs, going to college... I was in college, Cass. The universe hates me so bad it's making me repeat freshman year! And Mom—" Stephanie broke off. That was a raw wound she didn't want to touch just yet. "It sucks, Cass. I'm sure you've been remembering stuff too."
"Some things. I remember... rooftop tag."
"Oh, right! You were always too quick for me, unless you let yourself get tagged."
Cass shook her head. "You did that on your own."
"Don't flatter me," Stephanie said, laughing. "Gosh, those were good times, weren't they? They were bad times too, but it wasn't so bad when we were together."
Cass shifted closer. "No. It wasn't. Stephanie, what if..."
"What?"
"What if we shared it? Batgirl. Together."
"You mean, like, we're both Batgirl at the same time?"
"Yes." Cass dipped her head. "I never got to see you be Batgirl before. I... I'm sorry. I'll stay this time."
"Don't be silly, Cass. You have nothing to be sorry for. But—are you sure? Last time was kind of a special circumstance. You don't have to do this just 'cause you gave me Batgirl in another life, or you feel bad for me, or—"
"I'm sure."
Cass' gaze didn't waver. Stephanie's heart leapt, and she threw her arms around Cass.
"Okay, then, let's do it. You and me. The Batgirls."
"Forever and ever," Cass said, laying her head on Stephanie's shoulder.
****
The late evening moonlight streamed through the Loft's windows. Stephanie crunched on some popcorn, the low-budget rom com on T.V. finally reaching the confession scene. She'd loved these scenes as a kid. Even now, she couldn't resist the magic of a good old-fashioned true love's kiss.
"What do you think, Cass? Still believe she should've picked Elliot instead?"
Cass burrowed deeper into Stephanie's side. "Yes. Elliot is funnier."
"But Harlan's cooler."
"Let's watch the next one," Cass said. "Then you'll see Elliot's better."
Stephanie queued up the sequel, settling back under the blanket. Barbara was on a mission with the Birds of Prey, which would usually mean Cass as well, but Babs had put her on strict bed rest after a bad mission last week. Not that bed rest would keep Cass down for long—Stephanie had no doubt she'd be sneaking out later tonight. But for now the city was safe, Cass was content, and Stephanie was warm down to her toes.
"Hey, Batgirl," Stephanie whispered.
"Yeah, Batgirl?"
Stephanie leaned closer to Cass (which was hard, since they were basically smushed together already). "I really like you, you know."
"I know," Cass said, smiling.
Stephanie clasped her hand underneath the blanket. Sometimes it was hard to think this was all real. It was even harder to think she deserved any of it. But Cass' hand was solid, her smile as real and true as anything in the world.
The coffee table was strewn with lollipop wrappers and a toppled water bottle. Stephanie reached over to prop it back up.
"Stephanie," Cass said, sleepiness blurring the edges of her voice. "Don't go."
Stephanie laughed. "Don't worry, Cassie. I'm not going anywhere. Well, as long as you don't hog the blanket."
"I'll share," Cass grumbled.
"Good." Stephanie settled back against the couch, pressing a kiss to Cass' forehead. Then she closed her eyes, letting sleep pull her under. It had been a long time since she'd had a bad dream.