Work Text:
THE 21 WAYS YOU SAID I LOVE YOU.
Golf Ball takes a deep breath, steadying her foot holding the pencil. These were the ways she said “I love you”, the words that keep running through Golf Ball’s head. In Golf Ball’s experience, writing something down could usually help her get it out of her head.
She needed Pencil out of her head.
- As a hello.
Pencil would walk up on Golf Ball while the latter was working, whispering a small “I love you” to Golf Ball. It would startle Golf Ball, but she didn’t care as much as she would if it was someone else. Pencil’s voice, her tone, her words, they all sent a shiver down Golf Ball’s spine in a way that made her yearn for more.
- With a hoarse voice, under the blankets.
Golf Ball always somehow ended up under the covers while asleep. Pencil had learned how to cuddle under the covers too, and oftentimes, she would cling onto Golf Ball until she woke up. Once Golf Ball woke up, she would whisper “I love you” hoarsely, in a rasp that warmed Golf Ball’s heart.
- A scream
When they argued, the tears were always followed by that harsh scream of “I love you”. Insults would fly around, something that had left Golf Ball permanently scarred. Usually, Pencil was the first to break out the “I love you”. All Golf Ball knows is that one of those screams from Pencil could make her do anything.
- Over a cup of tea
Golf Ball liked black tea. Pencil liked chamomile tea, but only the way Golf Ball made it. On those random days, Golf Ball would create two cups of tea, and they would stare into the distance, whispering and ringing their tea. Oftentimes, Pencil would whisper how much she loves Golf Ball into her ear. Golf Ball can still feel her black coffee on her ear, and the honey texture of her voice.
- Over a bottle of beer
Sometimes, they popped open a bottle of beer. If they were in a good mood, Pencil would whisper sweet nothings. If they weren’t, they’d scream. Scream. And Pencil would yell how much she loved Golf Ball then stomp away, leaving Golf Ball feeling like a bitch.
- On a sunny Tuesday afternoon, the late sunlight glowing in your hair.
Every Tuesday afternoon, the both of them spent an hour of two in the park. It was one of the few times Golf Ball didn’t have to worry about anything, except the beautiful woman next to her. Pencil’s auburn hair always shined in the sun, and everytime she rolled over to whisper “I love you” to Golf Ball, Golf Ball’s eyes would lock on her hair. Everytime she goes to the park, she sees Pencil’s shining hair.
- As a thank you
Golf Ball was never the best at verbally expressing her love like Pencil was. Instead, Golf Ball did actions of love. One of said actions is giving Pencil many items to show her love. Every time Pencil would whisper “I love you” instead of a thank you, and every time Golf Ball loved it. Basked in it.
- As an apology.
When the arguments got too hard to handle and Pencil decided to concede, she’d walk over and hug Golf Ball. “I love you”, she’d whisper, the apology ringing in Golf Ball’s ear until she inevitably decides to forgive Pencil. She would forgive Pencil. She always did, and she always would.
- When baking chocolate chip cookies
Golf Ball loved vanilla, and Pencil loved chocolate. They had many fights about it. But the one thing they could agree on was chocolate chip cookies. Almost every weekend they made a few batches of chocolate chip cookies, and almost every time Pencil would whisper a soft “I love you”, sometimes after she messed up, but mostly just for fun, to see Golf Ball flustered.
- With a shuddering gasp
Golf Ball still, to this day has no idea what happened that day. All she knows is Pencil came running home, shoving the door closed behind her and muttering something about “One”. Golf Ball had settled her down, giving her some tea and peppering her with kisses. Pencil never told Golf Ball exactly what happened, but the first coherent thing she’s gasped out, shuddering, was “I love you, Golf Ball.”
- When we lay together on the fresh spring grass
Golf Ball always took really good care of their lawn, and once the weather was finally good enough for the both of them to lay off on ground, they’d spent long afternoons just sitting there, talking to each other. The “I love you”’s Pencil whispered weren’t anything special, but they still echo in Golf Ball’s head.
- In a letter
For her work, Golf Ball sometimes traveled to faraway places for research. Pencil sent her letters every day, some letters not reaching until Golf Ball had come back. At the end of every letter, Pencil signed it “I love you, Pencil.”. Golf Ball still had those pieces cut out of the letters, held together by paper clips.
- A whisper in her ear
One day, after Golf Ball had pulled an all-nighter the night before, Pencil and Golf Ball were sitting together in silence, Pencil giving Golf Ball a head massage. Golf Ball could feel sleep pulling on her eyelids, and Pencil’d crouched down, softly whispering an “I love you” into her ear.
- Loud, so everyone can hear
The best day of Golf Ball’s life that didn’t (directly) have to do with Pencil was probably when she got to host a lecture in front of the National Object Geology Society. She’d been preparing for the longest time, and she’d aced the lecture. Pencil, who was watching in the background, loudly clapped and cheered, screaming “I LOVE YOU”. Golf Ball had promptly ran off the stage in embarrassment.
- Over and over again, ’til it’s nothing but a senseless babble
When Pencil’s flashbacks or hallucinations got too bad, she would sit on her bed and cry, harsh salty tears. Golf Ball would always sit next to her, and Pencil would cling onto her as if her life depended on it. Almost every time, when she realized who she was holding onto, she would mutter “I love you” until it was just a senseless babble, something to keep her sane. The only time she didn’t do this was two days before they broke up. There was probably no some correlation.
- When the broken glass litters the floor
If they were arguing over some sort of meal, or if there was dish ware in sight, Pencil would break it. Fully shatter it. Throw it at the wall or hurl it on the ground, letting tears stream down her face. That’s the only time Golf Ball can remember being scared of her. More than a few times, some shards of glass had hit Golf Ball, and every time Pencil either let out her rage or hit Golf Ball, she would tell Golf Ball how much she loved her. And Golf Ball believed her whole-heartedly, and came back every time. Every fucking time.
- From very far away
If they were ever at opposite sides of a room, or Golf Ball was talking to another girl, Pencil would snap once, something most people wouldn’t catch but Golf Ball always caught. Always. She’d then mouth “I love you”, distracting Golf Ball from whatever’s happening, especially if she’s talking to someone else.
- With no space left between them
Golf Ball had a very large ladder she dragged around, so that she could be face-to-face with Pencil, or Pencil would lift her up, next to her face. Golf Ball could always feel her breath, or her nose skimming her chin, and Pencil would always whisper to Golf Ball how much she loves her. Golf Ball can still feel Pencil’s breath on her neck sometimes, if she tries hard enough.
- As we huddle together, the storm raging outside
Storms always scared Pencil, reminding her a little bit too much of One and TPOT. Every time a storm started, Golf Ball would drag over the two chairs they keep in their closet and build a small fort, dragging Pencil underneath. Pencil would curl up with Golf Ball in her arms, whispering “I love you”’s, as if begging Golf Ball not to leave. As if Golf Ball was the one who left.
- Over my shoulder
Pencil’s favorite way to say “I love you” was over Golf Ball’s shoulder, randomly. It spooked the Golf Ball, but she loved it because it was Pencil. Sometimes it was a whisper, sometimes it was a scream, sometimes it was when Golf Ball was (rightfully) mad and Pencil wanted Golf Ball to forgive her. Golf Ball always did forgive her. Sometimes, Golf Ball still glances over her shoulder to find Pencil, just for her to not be there.
- Not to me
Golf Ball wasn’t stalking Pencil, she merely happened to see her in the open and ended up in the same places as her. It was a month later, enough time to move on, and Golf Ball should’ve moved on. But Pencil strided up to her, kissing her and telling her how much she loves her. Pencil’d done her things with Golf Ball with someone else. Her love wasn’t Golf Ball’s anymore.
Golf Ball grabs the paper, folding it neatly. She then throws it into the fireplace, watching the hungry flames suck it up. No more “I love you”’s for Golf Ball. She was alone. Pencil was someone else’s. She wouldn’t never tell Golf Ball “I love you” again.