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The colour red represents lots of things. Love, the feeling of caring for another being. To be attached to them. Passion, the intense desire for something, to achieve greatness. Anger, the face that covers a variety of emotions. It emerges from a sense of powerlessness and strives to harm others.
Red perfectly aligns with Akechi Goro. The so called ‘Detective Prince’ that turned into a disgusting, frustrated creature. He wanted to be loved, to be needed. Loved for his dirty flaws, needed to help others. Though, such wants will never be granted. It’s selfish and greedy. It’s unfair.
Goro has been trying his entire life to get revenge for his mother and failed. So, why? Why has he failed? Each and everyday was planned meticulously, yet, this is the ending he gets? An ending where the hero lives and the bad guy dies. It’s not fair.
Kurusu Akira was so lucky. He had everything that Goro should have. People who care, who need him. Akira lived carefree, with no chains holding him back. He had the will to continue living and to see a better world. The type of will Goro will never have.
Goro sat on the ground in a room made of metal with a duplicate of himself holding a gun. He’d been shot in the thigh, unable to stand. It was frustrating. He knew he could do something. But, he didn’t. What was the point? Everyone will all die anyway. Bad guys always lose. He looked down and saw a pitiful reflection of himself. He looked torn, broken down, useless and unneeded. Something unnecessary that took up too much space. Slowly, his mask faded away as his rebellious and courageous self left his soul.
He was merely a side character to be discarded in Kurusu’s story. Nothing more, nothing less. Goro was only meant to help Kurusu grow stronger. He wasn’t meant to live for himself. He will never be free from this curse of hatred. If only he was the protagonist, then he’d become important. He’ll become someone people need and praise.
“You’re jealous of Kurusu. You want to be him. You wish you had his life. Isn’t that why you fought him? You’re miserable and a lonely kid whose mother left him.” his duplicate cocked the gun and fired at Goro’s torso. Goro yelped in pain, crutching his torso. God, he must’ve looked so piteous. “Kurusu will always be better.”
Another shot fired, this time Goro dodged it by rolling to the other side pathetically. Deep down, he wants to live. He wants to see the smile on Kurusu’s face and to play chess with him. But, he knows the end is near. He’ll die in this place with his shadow. He’ll die with a fake, soulless, version of himself. Not with Kurusu, not with his mom, not with anybody.
“Just give up.” the shadow spoke as he walked closer to Goro’s energy-less body.
Give up?
Why should he give up?
He had been alive for 17 years, so why? Why does his life need to end now? He has to keep going. He has to become better, better than that smug thief; Kurusu. He wants to see the light again, to feel loved, to experience true happiness once more. His fate is his choice to be decided. No one will stop him. No one will stop his rebellion against the world.
He stood up slowly and pointed his gun to his shadow self. His mask reappeared. The shadow stepped back and raised his guard.
“There is no point in trying. You’re always angry and will amount to nothing—“
“Shut up!” Goro shouted and shot the other’s shoulder. He pulled out his dagger from his belt and ran as quick as he could to his duplicate. The blade pierced through the duplicate, his shadow self. He felt anger and relief by tearing the shadow apart. The feeling was freeing, however, it only lasted a moment. The shadow swiftly built itself up again.
“You know you can’t kill me. I am your true self. You are me and I am you.”
“I know that! I know I feel jealous of that stupid cunt!” Goro yelled. He threw multiple punches to the duplicate in anger, which all failed as the shadow regenerated itself. He sluggishly stopped punching and kneeled down to the ground. “And I know that you’re me. You’re the self that I hide from others. The part of me that I’m really fuckin’ ashamed of. You’re me and I’m you.”
A sense of peace rushed through Goro. He accepted his flaws. He accepted that he couldn’t be the best but he was himself. He had accepted him for being human, being himself.
In the moment where the shadow heard the last sentence, it smiled warmly and disappeared into a card in the air. Goro looked up and widened his eyes. His whole body automatically moved on its own to the card. He held his hands up high to catch the card. The card gracefully fell into his palms, shattering into dust and blowing away. He felt a surge of energy. Warm. Warm and fuzzy. It felt as if he was at ease. A feeling where you know everything will work out in the end.