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Egg was sitting still in front of Wemmbu, holding out his forearms as Wemmbu dabbed a red-stained paper towel on his skin.
“Yo. This is looking fire.” Egg smiled, wrapping duct-tape on the sleeves of his self-tattered sweater. Wemmbu had stained the rim red the day before in preparation.
Wemmbu hummed, using some eye-lash glue he’d picked up to attach fake blood drips to the side of Egg’s face.
“You want me to style that side of your hair so it really looks like you got hit by a bat or nah.” Wemmbu half-joked.
“Bro, you genuinely do not have to get that fancy. Before I met you I’d deadass wear a graphic tee and call it a day yo.”
“Dude, we’re going to Parrot’s rich ass neighborhood; we’re getting that fancy.” Egg snickered.
Wemmbu stepped back, surveying his work as Egg leaned back back from where he was sitting, promptly falling headfirst into the bathtub. He didn’t attempt to style Egg’s frizzled white hair.
“Bro’s the immortal hostage.” Wemmbu snorted, and Egg righted himself up again. “Just let the glue dry and you’re basically done.” he smiled slightly, Egg’s costume was looking insane with the blood stains added.
“You’re just a d1 kidnapper.” Egg scoffed, stepping around Wemmbu and into the hallway to go rummage through his bins of props.
Egg surveyed him as he was touching up the fake blood on his own face and hands. But only after he’d made sure at least half of Wemmbu’s prop collection was on the floor.
“When’d you get so good at that, bro?, the makeup, I mean.”
“Used to work at a haunted house, they really liked me so I just kept getting hired every year.” Wemmbu shrugged. “I guess it just comes with the trade. Costuming and stuff is neat tho, so.”
“You seem like the kind of guy to greatly enjoy scaring the shoes off of kids, yo.” Egg deadpanned in a matter-of-fast sort of way, but his expressionless face broke a little as Wemmbu cackled.
“Hey bro, it’s funnier watching it back. I almost needed hearing aids from people screaming.” Wemmbu shook his head in a melodramatic manner, wiping away a fake tear.
The door bell rang, followed by the pounding of someone aggressively knocking on Wemmbu’s poor wooden door.
“You think those are Trick-or-Treater’s?” Egg inquired, his head turned slowly to peer in the direction of the front door. Wemmbu shrugged.
“I thought you left the candy bowl out there. Maybe it ran out.”
An oddly Spoke-sounding scream was heard outside.
Wemmbu barked a laugh, Egg snickered as he turned to go grab the door.
…
“Mapicc, bro. If this is the wrong house I’m gonna kill you, cause that scream was louder than intended.”
Mapicc cackled, slightly doubled over. “Imagine-“ he paused, controlling his breath. “Imagine some old lady answers the door,”
Spoke giggled. “That would be pretty funny.” he paused, “What if they think we’re just some dumb Trick-or-Treater’s that missed the bowl?” Spoke asked.
Mapicc shrugged, actively popping a Lemon Head (from said bowl) into his mouth. “Probably, to be honest. But Egg is too smart to not at least assume it’s us tho, so we’re probably chilling.”
“True.” Spoke nodded wisely, clicking his fake nail/claws together. They made a satisfying noise, like a fidget button.
They blinked at each other, it felt like it had been at least a minute, maybe they’d just gotten the wrong house. They sorta looked like lost frogs.
Spoke turned in a wide circle. “Are we super extremely sure you didn’t remember the house wro-“ The door opened.
Mapicc quickly straightened, from where he’d been rummaging through the candy bowl for something he actually liked.
“Yo, welcome comrades.” Egg deadpanned, stepping out of the doorway so they could walk in. Mapicc pocketed another Lemon Head before following Spoke as he trapezed inside.
Spoke waved to Wemmbu, who was standing in the living room looking through boxes of props. He beelined towards the kitchen, promptly swinging open Wemmbu’s fridge.
“Would you mind if I ate your leftovers?” Spoke leaned over, analyzing the contents of Wemmbu’s fridge.
“Yes, bro, I would mind. Get over here and look for stuff for your costume.” Spoke turned and frowned widely at him, blinking glossy eyed.
Spoke grabbed a strawberry sparkling water from Wemmbu’s fridge anyway, trotting over with a smirk on his face. Wemmbu looked like he was about to kick Spoke out of his house before his attention was grabbed by something else.
“Yo… what are you?” Wemmbu let out a scoff-laugh, pointing directly at Mapicc.
“A tired college Prof’ in his 30’s.” Mapicc deadpanned casually.
He was wearing jeans with a half button-up shirt and a grandpa cardigan. He also had horribly drawn on eyebags that Spoke had insisted would add to the look.
Spoke snickered. “You fit the role.” he grinned, like he wasn’t the one who’d come up with the costume.
“Rude.” Mapicc rolled his eyes sarcastically.
“I mean, he isn’t entirely wrong. But that's the type’a costume I’d expect Minute to pull up in, if he isn’t already Batman.” Egg snorted.
They all burst into laughter. Spoke pried off the soda tab from his sparkling water can, pocketing it for later.
“Yo. How do you even, like, enjoy sparkling water? It’s like… tasteless Sprite.” Egg questioned, Wemmbu looked towards him as if personally offended.
“It tastes like a firework in my mouth. And that implies Sprite even tastes like something other than sticky water, which is entirely wrong.” Spoke tipped his can in Egg’s direction, who simply shrugged.
“Whatever you say.” he monotoned.
“I think they’re both good.” Mapicc commented, Spoke noticed him hiding a carefully placed mask in his big ass cardigan.
“‘I then realized, I was surrounded by fucking idiots.’” Wemmbu mock-monologued, heaving an over dramatized sigh.
…
Wemmbu grabbed a fake machete from the bin, walking towards the door. He’d noticed Spoke snag a pair of sickles earlier.
“Get in the car, losers.” he smirked, holding the front door open. Spoke came out of the house last, holding a single chip like a rat. “I’m driving, because I don’t trust any of you to not crash my car.”
Spoke blinked innocently at him. “Only if you don’t crash it first.” He shoved Mapicc out of the way of the front passenger seat. “I called shotgun, bro.”
“Nah, Spoke. I definitely said it before you.”
“What if Egg said it before either of you, then what?” Wemmbu groaned, even if Egg had already graciously been seated in the middle seat of his bright purple jeep.
Both Spoke and Mapicc looked at him, then towards Egg, then back at him. “…uh huh, anyway, shotgun is mine.” Spoke climbed through the actual window of the door, landing upside down on the seat and just winging with it.
Wemmbu stared at him. “Bro. Just buckle up.” he walked over, sitting in the driver's seat.
Mapicc looked a tad sorrowful, but it wasn’t like any of them had assumed Spoke would climb through the fucking window.
The drive to Parrot’s neighborhood was long and grueling, half of the reason was because Spoke played white-girl music every time it was his turn with the radio. With his only reason being to mess with them. Even Mapicc was cultured enough to play “Spooky Scary Skeletons”.
“If you play Hot & Cold one more time, Spoke, I’m gonna drop you off at Pangi’s house and you can go Trick-or-Treating with Zam and ‘B.A.T.’” Wemmbu groaned to Spoke’s seemingly great amusement.
“Zam has bats?!” Spoke exclaimed, attempting to sit up in his seat only to bang his head against the glove compartment.
“You know what I mean, bro. I’m not gonna list out Leo’s entire friend circle that ‘definitely doesn’t do anything suspicious-’” Wemmbu refrained from using air quotes, considering he was driving a car. “-everytime I want to mention them.”
“You act like Flame isn’t the insane one here.” Egg snorted. Mapicc nodded in agreement.
“Why are they called ‘Bounty Assassin Team’ anyway, seems rather thought provoking.” Spoke was kicking his feet, humming the tune of ‘California Girls.’
Wemmbu wished he wasn’t able to recognize the song so fast.
“It’s your turn, Spoke.” Mapicc was half-way from handing the Aux Cord to a way too excited Spoke when Wemmbu snatched it out of his hand, his eyes never leaving the road.
“Spoke doesn’t get music privileges anymore.” Wemmbu scoffed, then plugged it into his phone.
“In half a mile, please turn ri-“ Wemmbu quickly swapped to his spotify during a red light, and played his music for a change.
Mapicc leaned forwards. “I didn’t know you liked breakcore-esque music.” he commented.
Wemmbu nodded slightly. “I like how intense it is, makes me feel like I’m locking in.” he deadpanned, humming to the barely audible words of the song that had come on. “Oh, hell yeah.” An Azali song came on: LOOKING GLASS LUMINESCENCE.
Spoke tapped on the AC buttons, a rather loud action considering the claws he’d attached to his nails. Wemmbu could admit that Spoke’s demon costume looked pretty fire though.
“You’ve arrived.” Google maps blared over Wemmbu’s music, and he closed it out. He blinked slowly at the neighborhood in front of them.
“Spoke… you didn’t put an address in, you just put the neighborhood.” Wemmbu looked confusedly at him.
“I forgot his address, remembered the neighborhood tho. I just assumed you would realize and correct it soon enough.” he shrugged.
Wemmbu stared. “Bro… I don’t remember his address either.”
“Oops.”
Neither Mapicc nor Egg chimed in that they, in fact, knew Parrot’s address.
“We’re genuinely bots.” Wemmbu parked on the side of the road, and everybody filed out. “Does anyone know what his house looks like orr…?” Spoke nodded.
“Ight, let’s just walk around, then. Lead the way, genius.” Wemmbu sarcastically mock-bowed Spoke.
Spoke led them through the neighborhood, Wemmbu could’ve sworn they walked in a circle twice and would not be surprised if he saw his jeep again. They stopped in front of a house.
“His house, uh, looked like this.” he pointed, and began to walk towards the door. The others followed suit.
Wemmbu’s phone buzzed, and he grabbed it from his pocket.
EagleY3
Bro where are you the sun is about to set
Dawg is your address 1200
No??? I thought I texted spoke the address bro
yeah well spoke is a dumb-
ass and forgot your address
Tell him to check his phone
“Hey Spoke- this is not the right house.” Wemmbu noted, just as someone opened the door.
It was an old lady, dressed in a whopping cat ear headband, with normal clothes on. She was holding a bowl of candy.
“Uh, trick or treat?” Spoke coughed.
“Happy Halloween, what might you guys be?” she smiled, handing each of them a piece of candy.
Egg deadpanned. “A hostage.”
“A kidnapper.” Wemmbu followed up.
“Oh my! How unique!”
“I’m a demon.” Spoke grinned.
“A tired college professor.” Mapicc explained, like everyone didn’t get the memo by now.
Wemmbu eyed him. If Mapicc wasn’t hiding at least a noise box for creepy sounds somewhere he’d let Spoke play more white-girl music. Which was a very high stake.
“How creative,” The lady smiled at Mapicc with a sort of pitying look on her face.
Spoke snickered, unwrapping the skittles he’d received. “Happy Halloween,” he mentioned as the lady closed her door. They walked back to the sidewalk.
They continued that process after it turned out that Spoke had left his phone at Wemmbu’s house. Wemmbu didn’t have the heart to ask Parrot, and it was pretty funny seeing old-rich-white people’s reactions to their costumes anyway.
- - -
It got unbearable by the 10th house, tho.
“Yo. If this isn’t the right house, I’m gonna cry.” Egg monotoned, and, to everyone's “shock,” Not-Parrot answered the door.
“Trick-or-Treat!” Spoke said so joyfully that Wemmbu was wondering if he was just doing this to get more candy. He’d already eaten what he got from the prior house before Mapicc had even knocked on the door.
The person gave them all a piece of candy, and they walked down the sidewalk once more.
“Bro.” Wemmbu turned towards the other side of the street, where Parrot was standing, in front of his house. “No way you’ve been checking the wrong side of the street.” he ran across, Wemmbu noticed he was holding candy bags for them.
Parrot looked like he’d just stepped out of a Ren Faire. He was dressed up as an adventurer, as he’d put it, and was wearing a somewhat loose muted brown/green shirt, with armor on his forearms and shins, he also had a leather shoulder pad. There was a brass spyglass glinting from one of his many belts. Overall, the costume was Wemmbu approved.
Spoke giggled slightly at the absurdity. “Oops…”
Parrot sighed heavily. “Why did you guys let this idiot lead the way?? That house doesn’t even look like mine.” Wemmbu grabbed a bag from him.
“He said he knew what your house looked like, every house we’ve been to has looked different.” Wemmbu deadpanned. “And also, he forgot his phone.”
Parrot glared at Spoke. “Bro… how much of a bot are you.”
“Define bot.” Spoke grinned.
They started to actually Trick-or-Treat, considering Parrot was with them this time. The sky had darkened by the time they began to return to Parrot’s house. Wemmbu was yawning.
He noticed something move in the bushes of the only area without bright ass yard-lights. Wemmbu considered mentioning it, but just assumed it was a rabbit. They’d all settled into silence, as Parrot meandered towards his house.
Wemmbu genuinely heard the screech of a Death Whistle. They all simultaneously whirled around, all except Spoke, who was grinning. Parrot nearly jumped out of his skin. There was a tall figure in an actual black skin suit, and a weathered white plague doctor mask.
The person stared at them for a few seconds, saying nothing. Egg looked like he was considering between making a joke and running.
Mapicc played the “Cave1.ogg” sound, and Spoke burst into laughter.
“Yo.” The person snickered, taking off the mask. “I didn’t know Parrot was that jumpy.” It was Flame.
“Shut up bro.” Parrot grumbled. “I thought you were like a kidnapper or something.” Spoke giggled.
“We’ve been visited by the Immortal Demon.” Wemmbu monologued.
“How many times do I have to specifically tell you to not call me that, bro.”
“I can’t believe you actually did it man, that's hilarious.” Spoke interjected, leering with the energy from however many pieces of candy he ate.
They were all grinning, with the exception of Parrot, who looked like someone had just told him they ate his front door.
“Aren’t we going to your house or something bro?” Flame smirked, twirling the Death Whistle in his fingers.
“‘We?’” Parrot… well, parroted.
“Bro’s living up to his name.” Egg deadpanned.
“Don’t worry guys, I actually know his address this time, so we can just get going!” Spoke smiled joyously, only to be interrupted by Parrot and Mapicc’s collective “NO”.
- - -
…
They arrived at Parrot’s house, with everyone trapezing in after Parrot unlocked the door.
Wifies, who was sitting on the couch watching Coraline, looked up and waved. “Hey. Was it fun?” he paused. “Why is Flame with you guys?” His brow raised.
“Spoke invited him to scare the hell out of us.” Parrot grumbled.
Theo was seemingly making something in the kitchen, and Spoke paraded over towards him, leaning into the counter.
“Did it work?” Theo asked, pulling something out of the oven with a smug smirk on his face.
“Were you in on it?!” Parrot’s jaw fell slack.
“I helped.” he responded vaguely.
“What did you make?” Mapicc strolled over next to Spoke, leaning against the counter and watching the movie, it looked halfway done.
“Pizza Bites,” Theo shrugged, “I figured you guys might be hungry when you got back, might not be enough.”
“Score!” Spoke half-shrieked, leaning over and snatching one of the piping hot Pizza Bites with his fake nails. He dropped it in front of him, blowing it to cool it down.
Parrot rubbed his temples, then went over and sat next to Wifies on the couch with a sigh.
Spoke, Mapicc, Egg, and Wemmbu congregated at the counter to trade candy, Flame watched with amusement.
“Parrot, get over here,” Spoke waved him down, and Parrot begrudgingly walked over with his candy bag.
Egg looked at the piles. “Did anyone get any sour strips?”
“I did, and they’re mine.” Spoke smirked, opening it right there and eating it. He notably had the least amount of candy and the most candy-wrappers in his bag.