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Bokuto Koutarou loves flashy things. Everything in action movies - fight scenes, shiny cars and explosions. The boy fawns over it. Akaashi thinks it's stupid. It's impractical. But it gets Bokuto's eyes to light up in the way that his performance spikes, to what Akaashi feels is even a 110%.
But Akaashi really should've explained the memo in person. Thinking back, Bokuto probably didn't understand 'inconspicuous car' and just went with his gut. Which was why now, Akaashi is staring in horror as Bokuto shows up as their getaway car in a bright yellow Lamborghini.
The man rolls down the side window, poking his head out.
"Cool ride, huh?" He grins.
Akaashi doesn't know if he's trying to salvage the situation or make it the absolute worst.
"Y-you fucking-!" Kuroo is the first to break the silence, spluttering in exasperation. "That's a two-seater isn't it? Where am I suppose to go? The trunk??"
"...oops?" Bokuto pops his lips, rubbing his neck sheepishly.
Really, the police could show up any second. Akaashi lets out a cough.
"Please pop the trunk, Bokuto-san," he says calmly but firmly.
"Wait Akaashi, I was joking about the trunk! You know I'm not gonna fit!" Kuroo's eyes widen in horror.
"I'm just throwing our bags in there." Akaashi rolls his eyes.
Bokuto pops the trunk, which unfortunately was not very big, and Akaashi clicks his tongue in annoyance. Even if he was reconsidering having Kuroo sit in the trunk, it clearly wasn't going to work now.
They dump their bags into the small trunk (thankfully, those fit), closed it and headed to the-
One passenger seat.
A single seat, for the two of them who averaged 1.85m.
Someone has to take one for the team, Akaashi thinks.
As he turns to Kuroo, he realises the other man is already climbing into the seat. For a moment Akaashi panicks, but Kuroo tugs on his arm.
"You have to sit in my lap, come on."
Akaashi swallows. It was either being arrested when the cops arrive, or to survive a car ride in Kuroo's lap.
He releases a defeated sigh and climbs into Kuroo's lap. Akaashi slams the door behind him after settling, rather uncomfortably, and Bokuto shifts the car into drive.
The vehicle is unbelievably cramped. There's barely any ceiling room, not to mention leg room. Unfortunately, it seems like he's the only one feeling any sort of distress. Bokuto is accelerating, weaving through traffic in a way that would've made Akaashi proud if he wasn't in such a compromising situation. Meanwhile, Kuroo is wrapping his arms around Akaashi's sides, and while Akaashi itches to swat them away, he knows that without the anchor he would slide the moment Bokuto makes a sharp turn.
Which he does. And Akaashi slams into the side window.
"Fuck," he curses, rubbing his cheek as he regains his composure.
"Shit, Akaashi you okay?" Bokuto shoots a quick glance at him.
"I'm fine, just keep your eyes on the road," Akaashi mutters, still nursing his bruised cheek.
"Hey Akaashi, lean back," Kuroo urges, tugging on his shoulder.
Akaashi had been sitting with his back hunched over, away from Kuroo's chest and just short of bumping into the headliner. He had been keeping himself steady with the handrail, but clearly that hasn't worked out very well for him.
Kuroo was right. Leaning back would make things easier.
Akaashi sucks in a breath, trying to think of the money in the trunk. It can't buy his dignity back but it can sure buy him many other things - like a vacation. He really wants a vacation. So, with the anticipation of a long holiday in the near future, Akaashi leans back into Kuroo's chest.
Kuroo's chest is warm and sticky. Immediately, Akaashi starts to regret. Having just completed their job, it should've been obvious that he wouldn't exactly be sweat-free. Heck, even Akaashi could feel sweat trickling down his neck. But pressing his own sweat-streaked back onto Kuroo's warm chest just bumps up the uncomfortable meter, and Akaashi has to fight every instinct to recoil.
"You okay?" Kuroo asks. His voice is suddenly much closer. In fact, it's almost right next to his ear.
"Just a bit warm," Akaashi answers quickly, hoping the heat he feels in the tip of his ears aren't obvious.
"You want me to turn up the air-conditioning?" Bokuto quips.
"No, just please focus on driving, Bokuto-san." Akaashi can feel blood flushing into his face, and he knows it's a combination of the temperature and his embarrassment, but doesn't want to make it that obvious.
"Okay," Bokuto replies, turning his eyes back to the road, where he cuts in between two cars and pulls off the highway. Akaashi had witnessed his driving many times, but it still makes his heart jump when he cuts itso close. He believes in Bokuto though, maybe not in car choices, but in driving.
Another sharp turn has Akaashi nearly crashing into the side window again.
He feels Kuroo's arms tighten around him, and while Akaashi had braced his arms against his face this time, he doesn't slam into the window. He lets out a sigh of relief. Bokuto needs to work on making smoother turns.
"Don't wanna hurt your pretty face again, now." Kuroo's voice rumbles against Akaashi's ear.
Akaashi searches frantically for a snark reply, but his mind draws a blank and he settles for silence as his face positively burns.
"Hmm? Is it really that warm in here?" Kuroo speaks again, and Akaashi swears his voice is even closer this time. Kuroo is leaning into his ear, that fucker.
"Uhh... is it just me or are you guys flirting?" Bokuto says, this time, with his eyes fixed on the road.
"Well, Akaashi is in a pretty compromising situation here." He can feel that terrible, shit-eating grin of Kuroo's.
"Kuroo, after today I am never sitting in your lap, or putting myself in any compromising position again," Akaashi seethes darkly. "I'll even cut off your legs if it's what it takes to fit you in the trunk."
Bokuto barks a laugh.
"Kuroo man, you shouldn't cross Akaashi!"
Kuroo grimaces.
"That includes you, too, Bokuto-san," Akaashi goes on. He hears an audible gulp from the other man. "The next time, you're bringing a black Toyota with four seats."
"But Toyotas are so boring! Everyone has a Toyota!" Bokuto whines.
"That's the idea of an inconspicuous vehicle, Bokuto-san."
"What if it's a Porsche?" Bokuto pipes up.
"Still too flashy, Bokuto-san."
Kuroo chuckles.
"Man but you sure bought the flashiest car I mean, the Lamborghini Aventador? You can't get flashier than this."
"I know right?" Bokuto grins. Akaashi knows that if he doesn't step in now, Bokuto would start going off about the car and his point would have completely gone over his head.
"Stop encouraging him, Kuroo," Akaashi cuts in.
"What about an Audi? Is that okay?" Bokuto blinks.
"I guess that's fine," Akaashi muses. "Just please don't bring one in red."
"Okay!" Bokuto beams.
"Or yellow," Akaashi adds, for good measure.
He watches Bokuto visibly deflate as he mutters, more softly,
"Okay..."
Thankfully, Bokuto arrives at their destination and pulls over, and Akaashi scrambles to finally get out. The cool air that hits his face is welcomed, easing the heat from his face and neck.
"Well on the bright side, the cops didn't catch us," Kuroo grins as he climbs out of the car after Akaashi.
"That's 'cause my driving was awesome!" Bokuto beams, slamming the door behind him.
"It's because we didn't trip any alarms," Akaashi rolls his eyes.
"Yea, we went in full stealth mode, right, Akaash?" Kuroo nudges him playfully.
Akaashi had came up with the plan, mapping out the safe and the various alarms. However, putting it into action was something else entirely. He knew he often relied on Kuroo's natural charisma to get them in and out of places. He only wished Kuroo looked more...inconspicuous too.
Without thinking, Akaashi reaches up and ruffles Kuroo's bedhead hair.
"It can't be full stealth with this mess on your head."
"A-Akaashi!" Kuroo splutters, and Akaashi spots the blush blooming over his cheeks.
"Hahaha! Akaashi wants you to go bald, Kuroo!" Bokuto howls in laughter, doubling over in the empty parking lot.
"Y-you don't, do you?" Kuroo stutters, staring at Akaashi with wide eyes.
"Mhmm, maybe it'll make things easier...do I?" Akaashi counters playfully. Suddenly, Akaashi thinks that it's cute when Kuroo gets flustered. He decides that it's fun to tease him more. "We won't want you to be identified from security footage right? Best to just take one for the team, hmm?"
"You can't be serious." Kuroo gives him a withering look. As much as it's his right to keep the hair on his head, Kuroo knows that if there's something that could hinder a job, Akaashi would have his way.
There is a pause, which has Kuroo looking like a kicked puppy and Bokuto looking torn between standing up for Kuroo or laughing at him.
"I'm joking, Kuroo-san." Akaashi smiles. "We can just put a cap over your silly hair."
Kuroo lets out a sigh of relief and Bokuto pats him on the back.
"That's for the car ride," Akaashi adds, turning to the trunk to retrieve their bags.