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“Alright, what’s wrong?”
Asher glanced up in surprise at the voice that broke the quiet of the room, seeing both Nathan and Adam staring at him from the other side of the couch.
“What do you mean,” they asked in response to his friend, feigning confusion.
“He means, you’ve been quite and mopey all evening, but haven’t been complaining about whatever’s bothering you. That’s weird for you cause normally you won’t shut up.” Adam replied instead of Nathan, his harsh tone not able to hide his concern from the other two in the room.
Asher took a moment to observe his two friends, noting how exhausted they both looked, and feeling that same exhaustion radiating from within their own body.
“What, I can’t just be tired after a long day?” He tried, sighing when his friends just stared at him, unimpressed.
It’s just… sometimes, this doesn’t feel like the right thing to do. And I know it is! But it’s hard to remember that when it feels like none of this is even achieving anything.” Once the first words had left his mouth, it felt like the rest just kept flowing.
“I mean, we’re just sitting here, exhausted and injured after not even getting everything we needed, and it feels like this is all we’ve been doing lately, just constantly failing. And I’m so tired. Not just of the missions, but the constant secrets and lying to the people I love.”
After falling silent, Asher stared down at his lap, absentmindedly fiddling with the hem of their jumper.
He was taken by surprise when two arms suddenly wrapped around, pulling him to lean against Nathan’s chest as he spoke.
“It’s ok, Ash. I know things have been tough lately, we haven’t had a lot of flawless mission executions, but you’ve got to remember. Just because one of us got a little injured, or we were detected getting the info we needed, doesn’t mean we failed. We still got what we needed, and know we know what to do better next time.”
“I know. It just feels like nothing’s been going right. I’m just so tired.” Asher whispered, slowly leaning more weight into their friend’s hold.
“That’s understandable. You’ve been up since about 4am and just got hit with a crazy adrenaline crash.” Nathan chuckled softly, watching Ash’s eyes slip half-closed and feeling him slowly melt into his hold.
Adam quietly joined the conversation, “and we keep telling you you don’t have to keep secrets. Karl will understand if you just explain it to him. And let’s be real, you don’t have any other friend’s besides him and us”
“Mmm… Maybe” Asher murmured after a second, barely audible.
“Well then, I guess the two of you’ll be staying the night once again,” Adam spoke again, standing and reaching to grab the leftover mugs from the coffee table.
“I’ll put them in the spare room and meet you in your room,” was all Nathan said in reply, standing and carefully lifting the youngest, who had now almost fully fallen asleep on top of him.
As he turned to move down the corridor, he was stopped by Adam, who suddenly stepped in front of him and leaned in to give him a chaste kiss.
“I love you,” Adam breathed, still close enough for the two to feel each other’s breath.
“Gross, you guys realise I’m still awake, right,” Ash groaned, face scrunching as he shifted in Nathan’s hold.
“Oh, like you and Karl aren’t worse,” Adam hufffed, moving to take the mugs to the kitchen.
From then, the only noise as Nathan carefully carried Asher to the spare room and tucked him in were the shuffling of steps and the soft breathing of the three in the apartment.
As Nathan turned to leave the room, he was stopped by the quiet, sleepy mumble of an apology from Ash.
“What are you apologizing for, Ash” Nathan questioned softly, stroking a strand of hair behind their ear while watching them fight to keep their eyes open.
“I fell asleep in the middle of a conversation,” came the soft reply and Nathan smiled fondly, assuring him there was no reason to apologise.
“We can finish the conversation tomorrow when all of us are less tired,” Nathan chuckled softly. “Now go to sleep, I’ll see you in the morning.”
He stood and made his way out of the room, flicking off the lamp and quietly closing the door behind him.
And as he made his way to Adam’s room and climbed into the bed, intertwining himself with the other, he knew Ash would be ok. They all would be, because they were all here for each other.
Right now, Adam and him would be there for their trio’s youngest. And no doubt, Ash would be there for them some time in the future, whenever they needed him to be.