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Teruki doesn’t remember going to bed. He’s never had a lucid dream either, too optimistic or too miserable for his brain to want to take him somewhere so rooted in his messy subconsciousness. But there’s no other conclusion he can come to when he finds himself in a half-finished classroom, the rest of it left a white, empty void. There’s no furniture to be seen except for in the center.
“You’re here.”
Kageyama is sitting on a typical school desk, leaving the chair pulled up while his legs dangle over the edge. Teruki is used to him wearing an unreadable expression, but there’s usually a hint of insecurity, hesitancy in his voice. This Kageyama carried his words with certainty, still with his distinct softness but timid demeanor nowhere to be seen. The only thing odd about his attire was that he wasn’t wearing his school jacket, instead donning the white t-shirt he wore when it was just warm enough that a dress shirt would be too stuffy, but too chilly to forgo the entire gakuran.
“Kageyama-kun?”
“It’s nice to see you, Teruki.”
A tingle runs down his spine, if not for the fact that he’s never mentioned his given name alone, then for the way it sounds on his lips with such clarity.
“Where… what… Have I died?”
“No, but they say people meet their maker when they die. I suppose it’s sort of like that. Without the dying.” He nonchalantly cocks his head to the side, like he’s had this tedious conversation so many times before.
“Something strange happened to me. All my memories are clear now, even since the moment I was born. Though, technically everyone’s memories are clear to me. It was interesting seeing our first fight from your perspective.” He let out a giggle. “You screamed so loud!”
Noticing Teruki’s furrowed brow, his smile fades a little. “Ah, I forgot. You can’t remember. My bad.” A flick of a finger flashes a scene of hands around Kageyama’s neck, a one-sided loss, and the start of his path to penitence. It only comes to Teruki now why he hadn’t been able to recall exactly how they met, only vague details of how he used to be terrible, and something about Kageyama being utterly humbling to him.
So this is why. How could he have forgotten something so important? His raison d'être. The very root of his philosophy. A commoner he was. A commoner.
“I figured you want some context for the moment. Sorry, Teruki! It’s just for a little bit. I promise you’ll forget it again when you wake up.”
His grin lowers into something more neutral with a bit of somberness.
“Reigen and I, we were out for an exorcism. It was for a very wealthy family, they promised a lot of money for anyone who could exorcise their only daughter. Possessed by a really strong evil spirit. So I thought, if I could astral project into her, it would be enough to exorcise him from within. It technically worked in the end, but not without experiencing six months in his pocket illusion. Six months of isolation, poor me beaten black and blue by Minori and the rest of her fake, faceless gang, with no trace of my powers anywhere. You know how long that was in real life? Thirty minutes.”
Teruki’s eyes glaze over in trepidation at the thought of Kageyama being tortured. For what? What was there to gain out of whittling down the soul of someone kind? A condolence was in the midst of forming on the tip of his tongue before it’s snuffed out by Kageyama’s voice.
“Mogami wanted to teach me that the world would chew and spit me out for my kindness. I guess he was right in a way.” A mirthful upturn of his lips. “But also pretty stupid.
“My vessel was broken. Perhaps if it wasn’t I would have lost. But one moment I was laid exposed in his spiritual void, and in the next, I was gone. Mogami was gone. Mogami was consumed.
I saw the future. I lost control of my powers. Everyone I loved who would try to stop me was to die, but not if I stayed here. I knew then, if I never have to see what Reigen looked like with rebar pierced through his neck, or your face grinded down to the bone, I would accept the world into my own hands.”
Teruki gulps at the description of his death in an alternate timeline.
“Everyone is absolved from having to deal with the suffering I would have caused. Ritsu never had to see me lose control and will never be afraid of me. Claw never existed. Now Shou’s family is whole, which is very good for Ritsu, because Ritsu always deserved someone else besides me. Reigen runs Spirits and Such with Serizawa, he’ll never be lonely again. I fixed everything. That is my greatest kindness.”
Teruki's jaw hangs low, his throat stuffed with so much information he could only begin to comprehend. At the same time, Shigeo’s omnipotence works to fill in the details he knew once upon a time. He tries to boil it down to a single concept. That somehow in return for Shigeo’s suffering, he was handed the choice to weave and cut the past and future. And though his immense power was always the epicenter of all his grief, if it meant he could finally spare others from the anguish it caused…
Of course. Of course he would.
He decides not to delve further into Shigeo’s exposition. The rabbit hole of details felt like something he wasn’t meant to fully understand, lest it shatter his mind to pieces. But one thing did stick out to him.
“If you’re Kageyama… then the one who visited my apartment last week…?” he croaked.
“The one down there with my face is still me. And he still has my powers. But he’s never feared them, and never hurt anyone. He’s still awful at reading the room and bad at math, and gets tripped up when you ask him what he wants to do in the future, but he’s only made of what everyone liked about me, as Mob. He doesn’t explode, now that my essence has somewhere to go. His anger and joy and sadness aren’t buried under a rehearsed poker face. He’s tethered to me with the thinnest piece of string. Mob’s experiences are my own, but he doesn’t know I’m here.”
Teruki somehow manages to properly find his voice again. His words come out the most defiant they’ve been since he first came to. “Why tell me this? Why did you bring me here if you want all of us to live in blissful ignorance?”
His eyes focused on a particular space in the void as he shrugged. “I was bored. And I have something to ask you.”
A drop of sweat forms on a blonde brow.
“I want something more from us when you go back down.”
“What– what do you mean?”
“I like you. As in, I would like to hold your hand. And kiss you. And go on dates. And cuddle in your bed. We could be fourteen forever, and perpetually worry about our high school entrance exams next year. Or we could grow old together, and the young people will get annoyed at us for telling the same stories over and over again, and our noses will get big and wrinkly. Did you know Ritsu was the first one who told me that your nose and ears never stop growing even when you’re old? That’s why old people look like that. I think that’s silly,” he said with amusement.
Despite the humorous little ramble, it didn’t do much to ease Teruki’s mind. He knew he always had a deep affection for him. But if having feelings for Kageyama was standing in the shade on a temperate day, then being the apple of a god’s eye was being blinded with floodlights.
“If… if your will is so absolute, then what weight would my answer carry? Whether I say yes or no, there’s nothing to stop you from simply manifesting a relationship out of me, I’m sure.”
Shigeo’s expression shifts to something more impish. “You’re not wrong. I could. I could make you craaazy for me. I could have you cling to me like a lapdog would to its master. You’d never leave my side, and you wouldn’t think of anything else but the eventual day we would move in together, envisioning perfect domesticity for us. I know there’s a part of you that would.”
Teruki swallows dryly. Hearing Shigeo suggesting the idea of playing Oberon on him, soaking his eyelids with love-in-idleness. Even eerier that he would be none the wiser and believe the fervent infatuation was organically of his own will.
“And that girl you liked, Tsubomi?”
“I can make her like me too, of course. But her ambitions were always beyond mine. She’s not someone who looks back to check if her partner can keep trailing behind. It doesn’t matter how much I pull on her leash when it will always be taut. I just wanted her acceptance, in the end. And maybe it was stupid of me to love her for her looks, too.”
It was strange hearing him talk about Tsubomi’s resolution outclassing his when he was able to literally become almighty, but he knew it was because he was still fond of her. Even though Shigeo cannot help but look down on the rest of the world, he never expected a prize in return.
“But I don’t want to do that, because I like you. Because unlike Tsubomi, you always walked right next to me; stopped when I stopped, and went when I went. I can’t seem to shake my soft spot for you. Whatever answer you give me, I want it to be from your heart,” he added earnestly.
A weight was eased off Teruki’s shoulders, finally feeling free to speak his mind. “Then, I would like that very much. From the moment I met you, I knew you were someone unforgettable. You’re amazing. Even now, you’re amazing. I always knew you were gracious when it came to your immense power, but to bear it for all of our happiness…how could I not admire someone so divinely selfless?” he said with a shaky smile.
Teruki isn’t even aware that he’s wobbled down onto his knees until he’s looking up at him, hands clasped together.
“Not only that, but to care so much about my feelings,” he murmurs with what could only be described as reverence in his eyes. “I couldn’t ask for sweeter benevolence.”
Shigeo’s face shifts to something heartfelt. “Stand up, Teruki.”
The command makes his legs obey like it was second nature.
Shigeo slides off the desk with a playful swing of his legs and nearly skips on his feet to him. By the time he’s but a foot’s distance from him, their faces are level with each other once more. It’s enough to break the spell of devotion that took over him for a brief moment. He takes Teruki’s hand into his, fingers still calloused like when he last saw them, earned for his dedication in the Body Improvement Club.
“I never got to say thank you. For being my friend, for working to become better by my side. You were always able to pick my dull face out of a crowd, for someone so flashy. Even your humiliation was precious to you.” His irises swirl with colors like they contain the universe. It’s not far off from the truth. “I hope you know that… I really do love you. Not as a god– but as Shigeo.” He reaches for the back of his head with his other hand and places a delicate kiss on his cheek. “I’m glad you said yes. I think we can make each other happy,” he says with a faint, but genuine smile.
Teruki places a light touch to his now pink cheek as he lets out a chuckle for the first time. “You think? Aren’t you supposed to know for sure?”
“Ah, well I guess that’s true.” It’s Shigeo’s turn to blush a bit. Being all-knowing still didn’t make him immune to social gaffes. All the more reassurance that no matter how much he changed, he was still the same.
Teruki collected himself from the recoil of being kissed by him for the first time. “Then, can I ask something from you? That memory of our first meeting, I don’t want to forget it. You’re right, it is precious to me. If I lose it, how will I know what inspired me to change in the first place?” He runs his thumb over Shigeo’s knuckles. “And when I saw you cry, I swore I would never let you cry alone ever again.”
Shigeo hummed, appreciating the sentimental gesture. “I don’t think so. It could make things messy, if you were the only one to remember my moments of rampage. Lest you ruin all my hard work. But you don’t have to worry about losing your inspiration to change. You’re a good person, Teruki. You’ll be just fine without it.” Their intertwined fingers got ever so tighter.
His shoulders slumped. “I see.” Well, he can’t feel too bad when Shigeo believed in him. The praise made his head swim.
Shigeo gives a gentle pat on his hair. “But I’ll let you see it in your dreams, if you want. Mob will be really confused, but it’ll make him laugh when you tell him about your weird nightmare where I shaved your head and stripped you naked.”
It seemed that was all he was getting out of him. Better than leaving empty-handed, he supposed. One question still remained though.
“Will I see you again? Not the Kageyama Shigeo that I see day-to-day, but you, specifically.”
He gets a stare in return.
“Be-Because I really… hate the thought of you being all alone here. I would like to keep you company too, that’s all.”
His answer comes out with a hint of melancholy. “I’m… not exactly alone. Mob’s experiences are my experiences too. I’ll still feel your warm touch and squint when Reigen ruffles my hair, and hug Ritsu when he gets an acceptance letter from the top high school in Seasoning City. But I can’t say I don’t mind the distance between me and everyone else. It does make me sad sometimes, being aware that I exist. Even if it was to save everyone.” A soft sigh and a smile. “We’ll see. Can you count on me being bored again?”
“Of course.”
“Then I have nothing to be sad about.”
Their eyes lock together for a while, perhaps so that Teruki can fully process the weight of their exchanged words. But also because neither were ready to leave yet, their tender moment passing the time with ease. Shigeo finally breaks the stalemate with a playful flick on his nose.
“See you later.”
“I’ll– Goodbye, Shigeo.”
Teruki rubs his eyes open with only hazy remnants of his dream. Kageyama was in it, he remembers. They were talking about… something in a white? No, brown room. Maybe. Something important, he thinks. The more he tries to manifest the events in his mind, the muddier they become.
If only dreams were easier to recall.
One thing he definitely remembered was that Kageyama had kissed him. His face goes warm at that, so he reaches for his phone as a distraction.
‘6:22 AM. Alarm set 38 minutes from now’. Ugh.
Half an hour into mindless scrolling on Mobstagram, he gets a text from Kageyama asking to meet at the park the following Friday evening.
Even though he never gave any other details, Teruki feels a lumpy knot of anticipation in his gut for the next few days.
Mob’s hands fumble at the bouquet, crunching the thin cellophane. He can only maintain eye contact for a moment before darting his gaze elsewhere. He’s flushed red down to the neck, trying to keep a steady breath before steeling himself to the best of his ability.
“Hanazawa-kun… uhm, I wanted to ask- to ask you if maybe you wanted to go on a date with me. Uhm, like a romantic date. You’ve been– you’ve been a really good friend to me, but I think I’d like to be, uhm, closer to you, in that way, if that’s ok.”
Before he even finished, Teruki knew there was only one answer to give. He couldn’t picture a world where he would have said otherwise.
“Or, or it’s ok if you don’t want to, I understand. You mentioned that flowers would be a safe gift to give to someone during a confession, Hanazawa-kun, so I just thought… I thought uh-”
“Teruki.”
“Eh?”
“Call me Teruki, since you’re going to be my boyfriend”, he delivers with absolutism, like he was restating a palpable law of the universe.
A mix between a laugh and a sigh of relief came from Mob. “That’s… Thank you, Teruki. For returning my feelings. Deep down I knew you would say yes, but I was afraid to be completely sure.” He tries to cover his mouth with the bouquet out of embarrassment, before extending it to its rightful recipient.
Teruki accepts the lightly crumpled bouquet with a smile. “You never needed to worry. Thank you, really.”
Mob returns with a smile of his own before flinching in realization. He rushes to wipe a clammy hand on his school pants before offering his open palm.
“Uhm… Since I’m the one who asked you out, can I walk you home? Just for tonight.”
“I would really love that, Shigeo.”
The moment Mob’s hand clasped with his, a silent pulse reverberated throughout the surroundings. As if he and Teruki were the ends of a wire, finally closing the circuit. And like the running flow of electrons through a circuit, an abyssal thrum of aura that could only be interpreted as blissful satisfaction rang through.
Teruki’s eyes took a moment to break free from the other’s face to look around. “...Did you feel something?”
“Huh? Oh, no sorry, I didn’t. What is it?”
“Hm. Probably nothing.”
A curiously familiar kiss on the cheek and a farewell were given once they reached Teruki’s front door. Except this time it was followed by plans for a proper date at a cafe on Sunday. It was only until he was all washed up and ready for bed, that a small realization dawned on him.
Huh, I don’t remember saying anything to him about giving flowers.