Archive of Our Own

Chapter Text

Moving to Los Angeles from the Philippines had been nothing short of terrifying for Sophia. It'd been very much necessary, the dance program at University of Southern California (USC) was nothing short of perfect, but having to leave her family and friends behind in Manila, move to a whole new country and do it all alone had been horrible.

Meeting, and then befriending, Dani made everything so much more bearable. Before she met Dani she'd felt so lost, stranded in a country where the language wasn’t her native tongue, with no friends and thus no one to confide in.

But then Dani oh so unceremoniously stumbled into her life, quite literally, the day before classes started and essentially saved her college experience.

Had it been anyone else, Sophia would've been monumentally pissed off that her matcha had just been knocked out of her hands. But the second after the cup hit the floor, the offender started apologising profusely in Spanish and Sophia completely forgot to be mad, she hadn't been that excited in ages. After sensing Sophia was, oddly enough, not at all mad, Dani had taken the liberty of introducing herself and the rest was history.

The more she learned about Dani the more it felt like them meeting was destiny, they'd always been fated to meet - a large part of her even believed they were soulmates, but she was more than content with just friendship at that time, not willing to drive away her only friend. They were both dance majors from out of state, Dani from Atlanta and Sophia from Manila, with dreams of being choreographers and/or owning a dance studio.

It felt like the only natural thing to do was to become best friends. The first couple months of college they were inseparable, truly becoming each other's rocks as they navigated the difficulties of university in California together.

As they spoke to more people, made more friends, their little bubble that surrounded them burst and they were well and truly thrust into the college experience. But despite branching out, meeting new people and generally doing things without each other - their friendship remained unscathed and even grew stronger.

Dani and her weren't soulmates, and Sophia was more than okay with that. Dani was the sister she'd never had and always craved, and that was magical in it's own right.

The only thing the pair disagreed on was the subject of soulmates; their views on the topic were quite different. Growing up in different family environments and exposure to different experiences with soulmate couples and non-soulmate couples had drastically changed their opinions on them, whether or not they truly mattered.

Neither of them had met their soulmate yet, it was pretty rare for people to meet their soulmates before college; drunken make out sessions at parties were the most common way people met their soulmate.

Dani had always said she 'didn't really mind who her soulmate was' and that if she fell in love with someone she'd want to be with them, regardless of if they were her soulmate or not. Because, despite her parents being soulmates and very much in love with each other after many years together, they had always told her how lucky they'd been to meet their soulmates; that there were millions of people who never meet their soulmate. She'd grown up surrounded by people in love who weren't soulmates, couples who'd been together decades but weren't "fated by the universe to be together" - as Sophia put it.

Sophia had a completely different view, having always been near obsessed with the idea of soulmates and been exceedingly keen to find her own, fall in love and be together. Having grown up in a house surrounded by love, with parents who were soulmates and the epitome of happiness, it would've been incredibly difficult for Sophia not to be excited at the prospect of having a soulmate.

The story of how her parents met was nothing short of magical, something that belonged in a movie or in a boom detailing the intricacies and wonders of true love.

She remembered telling Dani the story for the first time, Sophia always so eager to share it. Explaining excitedly how it was destiny that had thrust her parents together.

The story of how her dad was walking home from a bad blind date when he bumped into her mother, who had gotten lost on her way to her own blind date. Her father had valiantly offered to show her the way there, only to find, when they arrived, that her mother had been stood up. Not wanting to waste the reservation, they decided to have dinner together and the rest was history.

It was a story Sophia would never get tired of hearing not telling; she'd heard many stories of how soulmates met but that one would always be her favourite - admittedly she was likely biased, but she stood by her belief it was the most magical soulmate story she'd heard.

Sophia could only wish hers would be half as wonderful.

The topic of soulmates was something Sophia would never get tired of gushing about, and Dani would always laugh whenever Sophia brought it up. Sophia loved learning about how soulmates met, liked listening to people excitedly talk about how magical it felt. Dani's parents had a pretty textbook first meeting - they'd met in college and then kissed at a party and discovered they were soulmates - but were hopelessly loved up all the same.

Initially, Dani tried to talk to Sophia about dating people other than her soulmate; she told her about all the non-soulmate couples she knew and how happy they were. But it very quickly became evident that it wasn't working.

It was a point of view Sophia had really struggled to comprehend at first - the idea someone could actively denounce the prospect of having a soulmate in favour of being with someone else, was not one she was familiar with nor one she agreed with. Yet, Sophia valued her friendship with Dani more than she disagreed with that opinion.

The pair made an agreement that Sophia could talk about soulmates as much as she wanted around Dani, but she wasn't allowed to ever try to convince Dani to not date someone who wasn't her soulmate. They weren't allowed to meddle in each other's love lives.

The first person they befriended and added to their little duo was Megan. She was the annoying girl in Sophia's dorm who would leave passive aggressive post-it notes about people not cleaning up after themselves in the kitchen; everyone else in the dorm found it irritating, but Sophia found it hilarious.

It took them a while to officially meet, they first started talking when Sophia started to write little replies on Megan's angry post-it notes. She'd ask things like how her day was going, asking what her major was (it was journalism, she said she’d always wanted to be a journalist), and simple questions as such.

Their little note writing continued for a couple of weeks, Megan's post-it notes were no longer used to beg for people to clean up and were used for Sophia and Megan to have little conversations with each other. (I know Megan is dyslexic and one of the more messier ones of the group, but just pretend that she isn’t)

Once again, it felt like something from a movie, and Sophia could only pray that Megan was her soulmate.

She would whine to Dani about how she was near certain Megan was her soulmate, but that they had yet to meet because Megan was never around when she was. And, as always, Dani would just laugh at Sophia's over dramatic complaints and tell her that she was 'certain this was likely the universe's doing' and that 'it would all work out in the end.'

It took a little over 3 weeks after Sophia and Megan's note exchange began for them to bump into each other in the kitchen. At first Sophia thought nothing of it until she noticed the wad of post-its in the girls hand, immediately recognising them as the ones Megan had used to write to her. It felt like the climax of a romance movie; the love interests meeting for the first time.

"Megan?" Sophia asked timidly, the butterflies in her stomach refusing to settle when Megan turned to meet her eyes, and frowned slightly.

"That would be me." She answered cooly, pausing for a moment, clearly expecting Sophia to introduce herself. "Who are you?"

"Oh, shit, sorry. I'm Sophia, the girl who's been writing to you." Sophia replied anxiously, the butterflies in her stomach seemingly multiplying when Megan flashed her an easy smile.

"Ahh, nice to finally meet you, Sophia." Megan grinned at her. "Funny how we've been talking all this time but we never once met."

"Nice to meet you too." Sophia smiled back, before she spotted the half written post-it in Megan's hand. "What were you going to write today?"

"Oh, I was gonna ask you if you'd met your soulmate yet." Megan spoke so casually it made Sophia exceedingly anxious. "To be honest I'm surprised it never came up before in our little notes as it's usually one of the first things people ask you, especially here." 

"No, I haven't met my soulmate yet." Sophia shrugged as nonchalantly as she could, almost dreading having to return the question. "Have you met yours?"

Megan smiled softly at the question, almost bashfully as she paused for a moment before responding. Sophia already knew her answer.

"Yes I have, her name is Yoonchae, we met when I was a sophomore and she was a freshman." Megan spoke so warmly, love shone through her tone. "She moved here from Korea for high school. We were friends for months at first but there was always just this strange energy between us - I could feel it in my chest whenever I was around her. So I just kissed her, and boom; colors started appearing."

Sophia had always enjoyed hearing about people meeting their soulmates and falling in love, but this time she couldn't help but feel cheated by the universe; having felt she'd come so close to her movie esque soulmate story - yet having been not at all close to it after all. She felt even more frustrated she'd let herself get her hopes up like that, persuaded herself a girl she'd never met was her soulmate and then let herself be upset when it wasn't the case.

However, she wasn't going to let her own selfish wishes take over her; so she stood quietly, smiled politely and listened to Megan ramble on about Yoonchae.

It took a little while before Sophia got over her embarrassment of believing Megan to be her soulmate. She stopped replying to Megan's notes, and sending her own,  and wouldn't go into the shared kitchen if Megan was there.

Dani just laughed at her ridiculousness, repeatedly reminding her Megan had no clue she thought they were soulmates, thus Sophia really had no reason to be embarrassed. It took Dani deliberately introducing herself, and consequently befriending Megan, before Sophia was willing to speak to Megan again.

Despite Sophia's initial reservations, Megan started hanging out with her and Dani more. The three of them just clicked as a trio, Megan and Dani fell into easy banter with Megan teasing Dani, and Dani playing along and being extra silly to make the pair laugh.

Hanging out with Megan made Sophia feel like a kid again, but also made her feel so heard and protected. The way her and Megan could go from play fighting to having deep conversations about the future and love in minutes was incredible. She just had this aura about her that made everything so much more fun because she would try to make a joke out of any situation - and even though most of them would fall flat - it was so refreshing.

But the way that could change so quickly, the second anyone spoke badly about either Sophia or Dani, Megan was there to defend them with her entire existence; wouldn't stand for anyone mocking them for their 'limited English'.

If Dani was her sister, Megan came to feel like her childhood neighbor that she'd grown up with as well.

Through Megan they, eventually, met Yoonchae.

Yoonchae was everything Megan wasn't, and that was what made them so perfect for each other.

Yoonchae fit into their little group perfectly, and it was as if she'd been there from the start. The way she easily picked up on little inside jokes they had, making jokes of her own that had them rolling on the floor with laughter. Her being Korean as well meant Sophia, Dani and Yoonchae would often talk amongst themselves in all three languages (they all knew a little bit of each other’s language and after hanging out they all pretty much became fluent); purposefully ignoring the way Megan would whine and beg for them to speak in English because she didn't like not knowing if they were making fun of her or not (they often were).

Sophia hadn't met her soulmate yet, but for the first time in her life she was fine with just having 3 platonic soulmates instead, for the time being at least.

Yoonchae was still in high school, but had a full dance scholarship to USC for the following year, so she couldn't hang out with them as often as she wanted, but when she was free (and not spending time alone with Megan) the four of them would be inseparable.

Dani and Megan enjoyed messing around together, getting into tickle wars and play fighting with each other; and whilst they did that (when Sophia wasn't in the thick of it with them) Yoonchae and Sophia would have deep conversations about soulmates and relationships.

Meeting, and consequently befriending, Yoonchae was something Sophia never wanted to take for granted. As much as she loved Dani with every fiber of her being, she could tell Dani didn't want to talk about soulmates or just wouldn't return their conversations with equal levels of enthusiasm. But Yoonchae was just like her when it came to soulmates.

Hearing about what it was like to see colors made Sophia anticipate meeting her soulmate more than ever. The excited way Yoonchae would describe them to her, explaining all of her favourite colors and which ones reminded her of Megan made Sophia smile uncontrollably, even though she'd never seen the colors before.

Sophia and Yoonchae had this unspoken bond where Sophia knew she could tell Yoonchae anything without anyone else ever knowing. She truly was the confidant she'd been so desperately needing; the girl truly had this way with words where she could just make any problem Sophia had seem so easily fixable - the girl was nothing short of a genius. It was hard to believe she was younger than them sometimes, she was just so wise.

Lara Raj was like nobody she'd ever met before, and no one she'd ever meet again. The way the girl just waltzed her way into their lives one February night and changed everything.

Lara was the most confident person she'd ever met, no one else she knew would have the guts to strut up to where a small group of random people were sitting and just join them; inserting herself into the group as if she'd been there all along. They hadn't even learnt her name yet, and she hadn't learnt theirs, but she sat talking to them as if they'd been friends for months. And truly, none of them had minded either.

There was just something about Lara that made you want to get to know her, the second she entered Sophia's life she couldn't imagine living without her in it.

Parties with Lara were like a whole other world, the girl seemingly knowing everyone and anyone who she would come across; talking her way into exclusive after parties with the rich kids of the university. Megan would always pass on these parties, but Sophia and Dani would always be exceedingly excited to attend them.

For the first few weeks of their friendship with Lara it was as if she didn't exist if she wasn't at a party; Sophia couldn't tell if the girl was a figment of her imagination or if she was real, she found herself near desperate to see the girl at all times. For someone she'd known for such a short space of time, Lara had truly captured Sophia's interest.

The first time Sophia saw Lara outside of a party, when she herself was sober, was a Monday morning in early March; Sophia was near certain she was dreaming at first, not used to seeing Lara in anything other than a full face of makeup and a short, skin tight dress. She almost didn't recognise her, but then Lara smiled, that charming smirk was on full display and there was absolutely no mistaking.

Getting to know Lara sober was just as exciting as being around her drunk - but for vastly different reasons.

Drunk and sober Lara could not be more different. Drunk Lara was a complete wild card, there was an aura of mystery surrounding her as you would never truly know where the night would end up nor who you would spend it with; she was loud, excitable and impatient - never wanting to stay in one place for more than 2 hours. Drunk Lara was, most noticeably, much more affectionate and had zero filter; Sophia could not count the number of times she and Lara had kissed, both pecks and full blown make outs, nor the amount of times Dani and Lara had kissed - but it wasn't awkward afterwards and she never regretted it, kissing Lara was fun.

Sober Lara was the complete opposite in nearly every way. She was an open book, everything was planned meticulously with her but she would always find ways around her plans to hang out with her friends. Whereas drunk Lara was loud, excitable and impatient; sober Lara was soft spoken, she was still excitable, but it was channelled into calmer enthusiasm, and she was as patient and calm as they come.

It was almost believable to say drunk and sober Lara were completely different people; Sophia could almost believe that drunk Lara was a persona, the traits of Lara she had tried so hard to repress.

Lara brought so much joy into Sophia's life; but she also managed to inadvertently ruin one of Sophia's main sources of comfort and happiness purely by introducing them all to someone new.

Manon Bannerman had been Lara's neighbor as they were growing up, before Lara left for university, having known each other for the entirety of Manon's life. The two could have easily been confused as actual sisters with how close they were and how much they loved each other.

They met Manon at a party in May, the last big party before finals started, giving people a month to cram. Lara had messaged their group chat the afternoon before the party excitedly telling them about 'someone she wanted them all to meet' and how 'this person was extremely important to her'. Initially, Sophia had thought nothing of it; Lara did this a lot, introducing them to people who were 'extremely important to her', only for them to meet once and then never see them again.

But, apparently anyway, Manon was different.

It was 11pm the night of the party, and Lara was the only person who wasn't drunk, which was a very rare occurrence; exceedingly anxious about when her friend was going to get there. Dani had vanished into the crowds nearly an hour ago, under the pretence of wanting to dance, and they had long given up on her reappearing. Megan was getting restless, itching to do something other than just sitting there and, a very drunk, Yoonchae was doing her best to calm her, by stroking her hair and slurring, what one could only assume, were meant to be encouraging words that were too slurred to be comprehensible.

Sophia was far too busy trying to get the straw for her drink in her mouth to notice Lara's excited squeal at the arrival of someone else, nor the way Yoonchae and Megan were jolted out of their own little world and stood up. She definitely didn't notice Dani's reappearance until Lara shook her gently.

The scene in front of her made her chest tighten and her stomach turn with an emotion that she could only describe as a mixture of jealousy and upset.

A girl who, based on the reception she received from Lara, Sophia could only assume was Manon, had her arm casually slung around the waist of an exceptionally inebriated Dani in a fruitless attempt to stop the other girl from falling over. But it wasn't the simple skinship that was making Sophia's skin crawl and her brows furrow.

It was the look of sheer adoration and admiration Dani was staring at this Manon girl with, as if there was no one else in the room but the two of them.

It was insane how such a simple look was making Sophia's heart palpitate, drawing her attention to the point she ignored everything that was going on; nearly missing when Lara introduced the girl to everyone.

"Everyone, this is Manon." Lara spoke with a wide form, unable to contain her excitement. "Manon this is Megan, Yoonchae, Sophia and clearly you've already met Dani."

Dani giggled at that, blushing slightly which only served to worsen Sophia's jealousy - she could feel the frown painting her features deepen. Manon met her eyes for a split second, shooting her a winning smile that only made Sophia's chest tighten, because of course she just had to have a stunning smile as well. Fuck Manon and her stupid perfect face.

The rest of the party carried on as per usual. Lara got shitfaced and kept trying to kiss Dani, who was a lot less willing than normal, Sophia dominated at beer pong and then eventually made her way to the dance floor, Megan and Yoonchae made out for a solid half an hour and then left because Yoonchae was 'tired’.

However, something was different with Dani; Sophia immediately realised something was off when the girl didn't join her on the makeshift dance floor. The girl had never been one to pass up dancing, least of all with Sophia. At the time Sophia was far too drunk to really care, her attention span was too short and she was immediately distracted from worrying about Dani, because Kim Chaewon was doing body shots with Huh Yunjin (again).

It was especially strange when, the next morning, Sophia was trudging around her dorm extremely hungover and grumpy whilst Dani was cheerful and spritely; Dani had definitely been drunker than Sophia when she had last seen her at the party, and she was definitely more susceptible to atrocious hangovers than Sophia. Something was not right, but Sophia's limited memory of the night before was preventing her from figuring out what it was.

Yet that dull tightness around her ribcage consisted.

Everything started to come flooding back to her when their group got together the following week. Their weekly group coffee and study sessions were a necessity this finals season, they were where she’d usually get the bulk of her work done, but Sophia had never seen Dani so excited to meet up with the rest of them. 

Dani getting ready to go anywhere in Sophia's dorm room had become a tradition, the girl never seeming to leave Sophia's room other than to sleep, and even that wasn't a certainty. So when Dani strolled into Sophia's room already dressed for the day and keen to get going, to say Sophia was shocked was an understatement.

That tightness in Sophia's chest worsened, but she still didn't know why.

Sophia sipped her coffee slowly as Dani fidgeted in her seat, humming along to a song Sophia vaguely recognised, whilst they awaited the other two. Dani was wearing this smile she'd only seen once before, when they were in the queue for a TxT concert; Sophia really wished she knew what it meant, as she'd spent the last few months under the impression it was her 'Yeonjun smile', as Dani had put it. But unless they were about to see Yeonjun, Sophia sincerely doubted the smile was restricted to him.

When Lara arrived alone, Sophia couldn't help but be hyper aware to the fact that Dani visibly deflated, her 'Yeonjun smile' faltering ever so slightly. Everything came flooding back, all the uncomfortable feelings and memories of that party came rushing back, the second Dani spoke up.

"No Manon today, Lara?" Dani asked as casually as she could. Sophia tried so hard to ignore the way her stomach twisted uncomfortably at the question.

"No, she had to go back home." Lara explained with a shrug. "She's still in highschool don't forget, so she can't visit often."

"Oh, okay."

"Why do you ask?" Lara probed, that annoying smirk on her face that always spelt trouble. Sophia held her breath in anticipation for Dani's response.

"Was just wondering." Dani said shyly, it was hard to ignore the blush that spread across her cheeks. "We just had a really good time at Yunjin’s party, kind of wanted to see her again when I was sober that's all."

Sophia released a shaky breath, it hurt a lot to hear but she had no idea why. She had no reason to be so upset, she had no romantic feelings for Dani and yet here she was. The devilish smirk on Lara's face really wasn't helping either.

"Has our little Dani got a crush?" Lara cooed, pointing an accusatory finger at a very flustered Dani. "How cute, you two would be so cute together."

"Shut up, it's not a crush." Dani whined, batting Lara's finger away. "I'm just intrigued by her that's all… stop laughing at me Lara, it's not a crush! I barely know her."

"Manon has not stopped gushing about you, you know that?" Lara teased with a wink, smirking at how Dani's face lit up at the comment.

"Really? What has she been saying?" Dani pressed excitedly, clearly oblivious to the cheeky grin on Lara's face.

"'Not a crush' my ass," Lara scoffed, statement punctuated with an eye roll, "you should've seen the look on your face when I said that."

"So she hasn't been talking about me?" Dani whined dejectedly with a pout. 

Sophia couldn't help but watch the exchange with a tightness around her throat and, what felt like, a gaping hole in her chest. It felt like if she opened her mouth she'd cry, but she couldn't figure out why that was.

"She may have mentioned you a couple of times." Lara replied casually. "I mean you could always talk to her yourself and find out."

"And how would I do that, she doesn't live here?"

"Y'know Dani, for someone so smart you can be a real dumbass sometimes." Lara chuckled as she fished her phone out of her pocket, and pointed to something on the screen. "That's her phone number, why don't you give her a text. I'm sure she'd love to hear from you."

It was really hard to ignore the excited way Dani pulled her phone from her pocket and quickly typed the number into it, the way her face was the picture of happiness as she stared at the new contact.

It was even harder to ignore the way Sophia felt overwhelmingly miserable as she watched Dani.

Sophia had never been so grateful to see a very disheveled Megan stumble into the café, a huge hickey on her neck and a fumbled apology for her lateness. Never been so grateful for how quickly the topic was shifted onto mocking Megan’s scruffy appearance.

Dani spent a lot of time staring at her phone.

It was almost frustrating the amount of time Dani would spend lying on Sophia's bed, whilst Sophia was trying to study, just staring at her phone screen and occasionally sighing very loudly, in a blatant attempt to get Sophia's attention and/or pity - she was decidedly not studying for the rapidly approaching finals.

Sophia had never been annoyed by Dani's presence before, even when the girl was trying her best to annoy her. This whole act of her trying to get Sophia's attention, whilst she was studying, was nothing new - it was something Dani was guilty of doing very frequently.

But right now, Sophia wanted nothing more than for Dani to either leave or be quiet. Her own guilt from the desires were what was stopping her from doing anything about them. Sophia had never been annoyed by Dani's presence before, but right now she was at the end of her tether.

"Jesus Christ Dani, what's wrong?" Sophia whipped around to glare at Dani.

"Manon isn’t responding to my texts." Dani whined with a pout, kicking her legs in the air. "She probably hates me."

"Don't be ridiculous, she's probably just studying for finals." Sophia sighed with an overexaggerated eye roll. "Which is what you should be doing by the way."

"We're dance majors Sophia, finals don't matter." Dani scoffed, sitting up on the bed. "Plus I still have plenty of time to study, don't worry."

"Firstly, Dani, we still have exams for dance, you know that. Secondly, you’re also doing a minor in history, don't forget that." Sophia pointed out, raising an accusatory eyebrow at Dani. "And your first exam for history is on Monday."

"See? I have 4 days, that's plenty of time." Dani giggled at Sophia, winking at her for added smugness.

"If you pass all your classes I'll be amazed." Sophia huffed out a breathy laugh. "God, at this point I'll be amazed if I pass my classes with how much you're distracting me."

"Yeah but you love me, so it's okay." Dani cooed, getting up and strutting over to lay sloppy kisses on Sophia's cheeks as she giggled.

"You have no idea how lucky you are that I do." Sophia agreed with a giggle. "Now leave me alone so I can study."

"10 minutes of cuddles, and then I promise I'll let you study in peace." Dani begged, whipping out her puppy dog eyes and her biggest pout for added effect.

"Will you study after as well?" Sophia asked.

"I promise I'll at least try to." Dani bargained, deep down Sophia knew she wouldn't; but cuddles sounded nice right about now.

"You have yourself a deal, Dani." Sophia pushed herself up from her desk chair and let Dani drag her over to her bed and then be enveloped in a warm embrace as they lay down. "But only 10 minutes, I really do need to study."

"10 minutes, I promise." Dani agreed, voice muffled from where her face was pressed into Sophia's neck.

It was definitely more than 10 minutes.

Finals came and went faster than Sophia imagined, they flew past so fast that Sophia barely had enough time to catch her breath and realise what happened. It felt like she’d blinked and completed all of her exams without really thinking about it; having done them all on autopilot. When anyone asked her how she felt the exams went, she’d say they went okay but could’ve gone better; having spent a whole lot less time studying and way too much time being distracted by Dani, the girl had this incredible talent of getting away with anything with Sophia.

But as finals came to an end, as Sophia finally became more aware of her surroundings and what was going on with her friends she realised nothing was the same as it had been before exams started. And no matter how much she tried to convince herself it wasn’t true that things were different, she knew they were and it was way too difficult to ignore.

Dani was spending less and less time in her dorm room, spending more time cooped up in her own on FaceTime with Manon.

Dani had never been a particularly loud person, always content sitting somewhere (usually Sophia’s bed) quietly scrolling through her phone, doing her own thing; but now Sophia could hear Dani’s voice ring out through the hallway. Her laughter had never been louder, Sophia had never heard Dani squeal like that before - it was almost deafening.

Nothing was as deafening as the quiet of Sophia’s room now Dani wasn’t there.

Sophia was trying really hard to not lose her mind in the silence.

She couldn’t believe just how much she missed the small sound of Dani’s humming as she scrolled through her Twitter feed, or her quiet giggle whenever she saw something funny and she even missed the hushed sound of bass that came from Dani’s headphones whenever she had her music turned up too high. Dani had become somewhat of a constant in Sophia’s life throughout her first year at university; their routine hadn’t been perfect but it was something for Sophia to hold onto.

It was a little hard to stomach that someone had come along and disrupted everything so easily and so quickly.

“I’ve decided I don’t like Manon Bannerman.” Sophia grumbled as she sipped her coffee slowly, blowing on the hot liquid gently so it wouldn’t scold her tongue.

“I was kind of expecting that, you’ve been a lot grumpier since her and Dani got closer.” Yoonchae chuckled, leant back in the chair opposite Sophia; her aura of coolness completely opposite to Sophia’s aura of frustration. “Why don’t you like her then?”

“I just don’t trust her.” Sophia continued, the frown painting her features deepening as she thought. “How is it that she can just waltz into our lives and ruin everything. And why isn’t anyone else mad about it, why am I the only one who is?”

“Because you were always closest to Dani, and you feel like she’s stealing Dani away from you.” Yoonchae answered her casually, as if the answer was obvious.

“She’s stealing Dani away from all of us, I’m just the only one who noticed.” Sophia scoffed, rolling her eyes. “Hasn’t anyone else noticed how the notorious ‘party girl Dani’ has already died, how she’s spending all of her nights cooped up in her room on FaceTime with some girl she met once.”

Yoonchae watched Sophia carefully, not wanting to interject until she was sure the girl had finished her rant; based on the way the girl was angrily drinking her coffee, brows furrowed as if deep in thought and drumming her fingers on the coffee mug in her grasp, it was relatively evident she wasn’t quite done yet.

“And another thing,” Sophia started, near slamming her mug back onto the table, “Dani is about to go back to Atlanta for the summer, it’s a terrible idea for her to start pursuing a girl who lives here. Plus, we don’t know where Manon is even going to university next year. What if she goes to UCSD or UC Irvine, or even like UCLA?”

“Sophia, all three of those universities are also in California.” Yoonchae calmly interjected. “So really it wouldn’t be that big of an issue. And, a long distance relationship isn’t that difficult, especially as it would only be for a couple of months; it’s not like they see each other in person everyday anyway.”

“Okay, yeah that’s a good point.” Sophia agreed dejectedly, humming to herself for a moment before speaking again. “But what about Dani’s soulmate? How is Dani supposed to find her soulmate if she’s wasting her time with Manon? How is Manon supposed to meet her soulmate?”

“Sophia.” Yoonchae eyed her warningly, an eyebrow raised ever so slightly. “Didn’t you promise Dani you wouldn’t interfere with her dating life? I’m relatively confident that was a deal you both agreed on.” 

“Maybe.” Sophia huffed childishly, arms folded over her chest as she pouted.

“How do you know Dani and Manon aren’t soulmates anyway?” Yoonchae questioned, genuinely curious about Sophia’s logic. “Maybe they are soulmates, we can’t know for sure until they kiss. For all we know they could be soulmates and you’re getting all worked up about Dani’s love life for nothing?”

“They’re not soulmates, Yoonchae.” Sophia spoke so calmly, it was the most neutral thing Sophia had said so far today. She was so sure of herself, it blatantly evident in her tone, that it actually threw Yoonchae off for a moment.

“How could you possibly know that?” Yoonchae scoffed, rolled her eyes at Sophia tiredly.

“Because I can just tell, I don’t know why, but I just know they’re not soulmates.” Sophia shrugged, she cut Yoonchae off before she could question her logic. “Just trust me Yoonchae, they’re not soulmates.”

"It feels like you're trying to convince yourself of that, Sophia." Yoonchae sighed, she knew it was pointless trying to convince Sophia she was wrong, but it was worth trying. “It really wouldn’t be the end of the world if they were soulmates anyway.”

“Trust me, Yoonchae. I know you’re not going to, because it doesn’t make any sense, but I just have this sixth sense about it.” Sophia explained, to Sophia it made some ounce of sense but to Yoonchae, Sophia sounded as if she was blinded by jealousy. “You can call me crazy all you want but I just know it. Dani and Manon aren’t soulmates.”

“Sophia, just because Mei and I were lucky enough to meet doesn’t mean everyone else will meet their soulmate.” Yoonchae started, watching carefully as Sophia visibly deflated at that comment. “We’ve talked about this before and I thought we’d both agreed that we would just leave Dani be, even if she pursued people who weren’t her soulmate?”

“I know, but- ”

“No ‘buts’, Sophia,” Yoonchae interrupted her, “it’s fine if you don’t like Manon, no one can make you like her; but, you can’t make up excuses for why you don’t want her and Dani dating. You can’t interfere in their love life or it’s only gonna serve to drive you and Dani apart.”

Sophia was silent, staring at the now empty coffee mug in her hands as she absentmindedly worried her bottom lip between her teeth. Yoonchae knew Sophia, she knew that right now the girl was wracking her brain to think of excuses and future reasons for her meddling; no matter if the girl knew she was wrong, it was inevitable she’d try to intervene. If anyone had the power to make Sophia rethink her entire outlook on anything, it was Yoonchae. The girl just had a way with words, she knew exactly how Sophia’s mind worked and it was amazing.

“Okay, I promise I’ll at least try to bite my tongue and keep quiet.” Sophia relented, eventually. “I can’t promise I won’t get involved, but I’ll do my best not to.”

“That’s the best I’m gonna get isn’t it?”

“Yeah, most likely.”

“I’ll take that as a victory then.” Yoonchae shrugged, smiling widely at Sophia, the other girl returning the smile easily.

“Changing the subject somewhat, did you hear about Kim Jennie and Kim Jisoo?” Sophia asked, as if everyone in the whole city hadn’t heard about them.

“Megan told me, I’m surprised they didn’t already know they were soulmates.”

The last week on campus before Sophia went back to Manila was hell.

When she’d agreed to stay an extra week to hang out with Dani, go out to parties and clubs, and just have fun together like they had at the start of term; she’d fully expected they’d actually spend time together.

Everyone else on their floor had gone home for the summer, leaving just the pair of them alone. Granted, that had been the original plan for the week; they’d have the whole floor, and most importantly the shared kitchen, to themselves for a week leaving them free to mess around together without anyone else getting in the way. But, when they’d planned this, Sophia hadn’t anticipated for someone who was not on campus to still be able to ruin their plans, hadn’t foreseen the possibility that Dani may find someone else she wanted to spend time with, more than she wanted to spend time with Sophia.

To be fair, no one anticipated that Manon Bannerman would come out of nowhere and capture Dani’s attention and heart the way she did. Manon Bannerman had known Dani a little over a month, and she’d already managed to make a home in Dani’s thoughts 24/7. And Sophia hated it, she hated everything about it. She hated that dull ache in her chest that hadn’t gone away since the first time she saw Manon, since the first time she saw the way Dani looked at her.

It was funny really, the way Manon had waltzed into their lives and caused two very different reactions to her, coming from the pair people would often claim shared brain cells based on how scarily similar they were. Yoonchae would often joke that it was if Manon had a superpower as she was the second thing Sophia and Dani had ever disagreed upon; but realistically Sophia knew it was because she was the best representation of the only other thing the pair disagreed on.

Because Dani and Manon weren’t soulmates, Sophia had never been so sure of anything in her life, but she could tell they were falling for each other; or at least Dani was falling for Manon - Sophia was losing her best friend to a girl who wasn’t even her soulmate, and it was a lot harder to stomach than she’d ever imagined.

What made it that much worse was seeing Lara and Megan constantly hyping Dani up in their group-chat, desperately trying to convince her to ask Manon out on a date because ‘her non stop pining was killing them’ and ‘if she didn’t ask Manon out someone else definitely would’. Pretending to be excited for Dani was a lot harder than it should’ve been and nothing made Sophia feel worse than knowing she couldn’t bring it in herself to support her best friends blossoming relationship. Her own belief system and overwhelming obsession with soulmates was ruining her relationship with her best friend; and she was the only person that knew it. 

In her defence, however, it was so difficult to be supportive of the potential couple when Manon was getting in the way of her time with Dani.

What was supposed to be a week of ‘best friend time’, as Dani herself had put it, turned into a week of Sophia trying desperately to get Dani’s attention only for her to be ignored in favour of Manon. It was hard to not be furious, for Sophia to not feel cheated and like she was second best. She was mad at Manon, but not Dani.

Sophia could never be mad at Dani.

Dani asked Manon to be her girlfriend on the 23rd of June, the day before she left to go back to Atlanta.

Even though she and Manon had agreed to keep their relationship secret over the summer, despite them deciding to keep it a secret from all of their friends and thus them not telling anyone; Sophia knew.

It felt like someone had a foot on her chest that entire day, she never truly understood what it meant to be heartbroken until that day - and she didn’t even know why. 

Manon had come into her life and made her so miserable, she was ruining everything for Sophia and she didn’t even realise it. That was, arguably, one of the worst parts; because she really wanted to hate Manon but something in her wouldn’t let her.

The summer was long and difficult. Sophia threw herself into learning new choreographies and improving her dance skills as a way of ignoring how badly her heart was aching. She'd spend hours upon hours shut away at her dance studio, where she had trained for so many years, causing her parents to worry about her and her entire body to ache. But Dani was still always too busy to FaceTime so she couldn't find it in herself to want to do anything else.

Their groupchat was as active as ever, her 4 closest friends seemingly never shutting up, yet Sophia felt painfully alone and isolated. 

Manon got accepted into USC. She went from the outsider of their group, with a few connections, someone Sophia could ignore if she tried hard enough, to being a full part of it; even being added to their groupchat. Sophia was really starting to dread sophomore year.

Dani and Manon told everyone they were official the week before the new school year began. They'd all come back to campus to settle in before the new year, and Dani had called a meeting in their new apartment, the one Dani, Sophia and Megan were sharing; she’d deliberately tried to keep the subject of the meeting a secret, but Sophia knew in her gut what it was about. If Dani’s giddy expression was anything of a clue, the way she excitedly ushered Yoonchae and Lara into the apartment and had them sit next to Sophia and Megan on their couch.

Her suspicions were proven to be correct when Dani and Manon stood up in front of the four of them, their hands laced together and expressions a picture of young love. They didn’t need to say the words, didn’t need to tell them what the little gathering was about, because if nothing else, the way Sophia’s throat closed and all the air escaped her lungs was telling enough.

Sophia couldn’t help but feel cheated, but there was nothing she had been cheated out of.

She plastered on the most realistic smile she could muster as she watched Lara tackle Dani and Manon into a bear hug, squealing excitedly as the other two giggled; watched Megan cheer and clap loudly, shouting out an exasperated “finally!” as Manon and Dani blushed wildly. When Yoonchae reached over subtly and laid a hand over Sophia’s own, stroking the back of Sophia’s hand with her thumb gently, it felt like her heart was about to collapse and that she was going to burst into tears at any moment. The overwhelming jealousy and upset she was feeling at Dani and Manon’s relationship was maddening, because she hadn’t realised just how much it meant to her that they didn’t get together.

The last thing she’d wanted was for Dani to be stolen away from her, least of all from someone who wasn’t her soulmate. Sophia almost felt guilty for how selfish her feelings were, but rational feelings had never been Sophia’s forte.

Dani was like the sister she’d never had, and it was hard to stomach that she was losing her so soon after getting her.

Sophomore started off a whole lot more intense than freshman year, but Sophia had been expectant of that; the choreographies they had to learn for class got harder, the essays they had to write got longer and sleep became more of an enigma. For once in her life, Sophia was grateful for the sheer volume of school work as it worked as a nice excuse to be out of the apartment. Their small little flat in the centre of town was supposed to be a space where they’d hang out as a group and have fun together, but lately it had begun to feel like a couple area with Sophia as the designated single person.

During her highschool days she’d often found herself as the only single person in her group; her adamance that she’d only date her soulmate meant she had been single for the entirety of highschool, it had never bothered her before until now. She had never had an issue with being the ‘designated single friend’ before, until she was the designated single friend around Dani and Manon.

Their apartment had been essentially commandeered by them, with Megan practically living in Yoonchae’s dorm she was left to suffer through Dani and Manon’s new relationship bliss alone - being around them being all loved up was the perfect example of hell on earth in Sophia’s opinion. They didn’t even have the decency to move it out of the shared living space and into Dani’s bedroom, Sophia couldn’t even count the sheer number of times she’d walked in on them practically dry humping on the couch - but she could recall perfectly how her stomach would twist and her throat would close every time she saw them.

Very quickly into the term Sophia essentially moved into the library and the dance studio; spending most of her time out of class sat in the far corner of the library, nose buried in a book about the history of ballet as she effortlessly finished all of her due essays and the required extra reading. When she wasn’t in the library, she was in one of the universities several dance studios going over choreography tirelessly and working on creating her own; she’d dance until her muscles begged her to stop and she physically couldn’t anymore.

It got to the point where she was getting back to the apartment at 2am and then leaving again at 7am, she could tell that Dani and Megan were worried but she couldn’t bring herself to be there. She just wished she had a reason why.

“You’re really worrying everyone, Sophia.” Yoonchae spoke sternly the second Sophia sat in the seat opposite her. Everything had changed in the single month since second year started, but at least these fortnightly coffee mornings with Yoonchae remained a constant. “You do know that, right?”

“I know.” Sophia nodded solemnly, taking a sip of her coffee.

“So why do you keep doing this?” Yoonchae pressed gently, Sophia could tell she was worried and frustrated but her tone stayed warm and calm. “Why do you insist on disappearing from your flat everyday for like 18hrs, not messaging the groupchat and then telling us everything is fine?” 

“Because everything is fine.” Sophia shrugged as nonchalantly as possible. “Sophomore year is just a whole lot more work than I was expecting, that’s all.”

“Bullshit. You and I both know you’re way ahead with your schoolwork, you could take a week off and still be miles ahead of everyone else.” Yoonchae scoffed, leaning back in her chair and raising an accusatory eyebrow at Sophia. 

“What? Says who?”

“Says Dani, don’t forget she is in your dance class.” Yoonchae rolled her eyes, Sophia had admittedly forgotten that she and Dani shared their main dance class; it wasn’t as if she was actively avoiding her it just happened. “So I know that you don’t have that big of a workload.”

“I just want a good grade.” Sophia shrugged coolly, she knew she wasn’t fooling Yoonchae but it was worth a try. “I’m never gonna be a choreographer if I don’t improve.”

“Sophia there’s no point lying to me, I can see straight through your bullshit.” Yoonchae sighed. “What’s going on with you? You know you can tell me anything, right?”

“God, sometimes I think you should be a detective or something, you’d get any criminal to confess.” Sophia grumbled, taking a long sip of her coffee as Yoonchae smirked smugly. “I just don’t like being in the apartment when Manon is there, and she’s always there so.”

“You hate her that much?”

“I don’t hate her, I just hate that she’s stealing my best friend away from me and I can’t do anything about it.” Sophia released a shaky breath as she set her mug on the table. “She hasn’t even known Manon 6 months and she’s already completely consumed her entire being, she only wants to hang out with Manon, talk to Manon, look at Manon. And it hurts, so I don’t like being around the apartment anymore.”

“Sophia…” Yoonchae reached across the table to hold her hand with both of hers, rubbing soothing circles over her knuckles. “Does Dani know you feel this way?”

“No.” Sophia shook her head, blinking rapidly in a desperate attempt to stop herself from crying. “I couldn’t possibly tell her. How do you tell someone, someone who is meant to be your best friend, that you want them to pay more attention to you and not their girlfriend.”

Yoonchae watched Sophia sadly with a pitiful stare, unsure of what to say. She let go of Sophia’s hand with one of her own and reached over to wipe at the tears streaming down the other girls cheeks.

“And, fuck, what if they are soulmates? What if I’m so mad that they are spending time together and it turns out they are soulmates afterall.” Sophia choked back a sob. “I wouldn’t even know if they were because I’ve been avoiding them both like the fucking plague.”

“Sophia, I’m going to tell you something and you have to promise me you will do two things.” Yoonchae started coolly, eyes searching for Sophia’s own. “Firstly, you can’t use this information to try to meddle, and secondly, you have to be supportive of them whatever they choose to do.”

“What is it?”

“Sophia, promise me.”

“Okay, I promise I’ll be good. What is it?”

“Dani and Manon aren’t soulmates.” Yoonchae said coolly, thumb still brushing stray tears away from her cheeks. “But, they’ve decided to stay together anyway. Because they really like each other.”

“Wait, what?”

“Dani and Manon aren’t soulmates, you were right Sophia.” Yoonchae reiterated calmly, squeezing Sophia’s hand gently.

“I knew it, I could just tell they weren’t soulmates.” Sophia grumbled, brows furrowing as she could feel her upset quickly turning into anger. “They’re just too different, I knew it.”

“Sophia, don’t forget how different Jeong and I are.” Yoonchae spoke soothingly, trying her best to stop Sophia from losing her head. “I know you’re angry right now, but you can’t do anything to break them up; you’ll only drive Dani further away.”

Sophia huffed dramatically at that, pouting at Yoonchae to further emphasise her annoyance. She could tell she was being unreasonable and ridiculous, but she just needed to get it out of her system so it didn’t come out around Dani.

“And, how do you know Manon and Dani are so different? You’ve barely spoken 2 words to Manon, who knows maybe she’s perfect for Dani.” Yoonchae added.

“She’s not perfect for Dani, she’s not her soulmate.” Sophia murmured to herself, Yoonchae couldn’t help but feel as if she was talking to a child, not an adult.

“Sophia, you’re acting really childish right now.” Yoonchae stated simply, retracting her hands away from Sophia to cross them over her chest. “Please, just talk to Dani and Manon, either separately or together. Because this shit can’t carry on.”

“Why would I do that?” Sophia scoffed.

“Because you’re miserable without Dani, and she’s not much better without you.”

It must’ve been destiny, because when Sophia got back from coffee with Yoonchae, Dani was sitting on the couch in their apartment alone; reading a book about the history of dance. The girl immediately perked up the second she heard the front door close, smiling brightly when she saw it was Sophia.

“Was starting to worry I’d never see you during the day.” Dani teased, as if they’d been talking as normal the past few months and nothing had changed.

“Thought I’d grace you with my presence.” Sophia fired back, grinning cheekily at Dani as she moved to sit next to her on the couch.

“Sophia.” Dani started, her eyes studied Sophia’s face gently, trying to gauge her feelings from her blank look alone. “Sophia, what’s going on with you? It feels like I’m losing you.”

Sophia tried really hard to stop herself from crying, she tried so hard to force back the tears that threatened to fall; part of her had wished they could go back to normal without the necessary talk, without Dani questioning her about why she’d drawn back and run away from their friendship.

“I thought I’d already lost you Dani.” Sophia croaked out sadly. “It really feels like I’ve lost you to Manon. She came out of nowhere and just whisked you away from me.”

“Sophia, that’s not true.” Dani reassured her gently, reaching out to pull Sophia under her arm and hold her close. “I really really like Manon, but she could never replace you. You’re my best friend.”

“Before the summer, it felt like I was second best and I wasn’t worthy of your attention over Manon. So it was just easier for me to pull away so it felt like it was my choice.” Sophia choked out, no longer bothering to try and fight the tears. She hadn’t realised how much she’d missed Dani. “God, I sound so selfish and stupid.”

“No, no you don’t.” Dani shook her head slightly, sighing audibly. “That’s completely my fault, I didn’t even realise I was ignoring you. I was just so caught up in Manon, I didn’t even notice that I was hurting you; I’m a terrible friend I’m sorry.”

“You’re not a terrible friend, Dani; you’re my best friend in the whole world.” Sophia snuggled closer to Dani. “I guess I didn’t get it because I’ve never been in love before, so I didn’t understand why you wanted to be with Manon all the time.”

“Being in love is pretty great, Sophia.” Dani spoke so softly. “We haven’t said it to each other yet, but I think I’ve known I loved her since the first time I saw her.”

“Is she your soulmate?” Sophia asked gently, she already knew the answer but she wanted to hear it from Dani.

“No, not in the literal sense anyway.” Dani answered honestly, Sophia could practically hear the smile in her voice. “But I think she just might be the one for me regardless.”

“That’s good then.” Sophia hummed, closing her eyes as she snuggled back into Dani.

“I really want you two to be friends, Sophia.” Dani sighed. “I know that, right now, you’re not her biggest fan. But, you’re two of my favourite people, so I really want you two to at least get along.”

“What if we don’t?” Sophia asked timidly, looking up at Dani to meet her eyes.

“I’m sure you will, trust me.” Dani smiled warmly at her. “You and I are really similar Sophia, I’m sure you’ll get along amazingly. To be honest, I’m more worried you may fall for her too and steal her from me.” Dani teased with a giggle and a wink, eliciting a giggle from Sophia as well.

“She’s not my type, Dani,” Sophia started with a giggle, “so you have nothing to worry about.”

“Do you promise to stop avoiding me now?” Dani asked shyly. “I really missed you.”

“I promise, I’ll be around here so much you may get sick of me.” Sophia teased. “I missed you too.”

Dani smiled warmly at her, before shooting Sophia that mischievous grin that only ever spelt trouble. Sophia barely had time to react before Dani was pinning her to the couch and tickling her aggressively, eliciting a loud squeal from Sophia as she tried desperately to free herself from Dani’s hold.

As much as she hated the tickle fights, she really missed them.

Sophia managed to avoid the inevitable hang out with Manon for an impressive 3 weeks. Using her impeccable lying skills, as well as blatant avoidance of the topic, she managed to weasel her way out of 5 different suggested hang outs; citing other plans, school work and even church as various excuses for why she couldn’t spend time with Manon. It didn’t take a genius to see Dani was getting frustrated, but Sophia really couldn’t think of anything she’d like to do less than spend a large amount of time alone with Manon.

It wasn’t that she hated the girl; she just couldn’t stand spending time with her, hated the way the air felt when she was around her and how incredibly jealous she felt whenever she saw her. But, none of that was Manon’s fault, so she couldn’t hate Manon.

But, no matter how hard she tried and no matter how many excuses she’d planned, she couldn’t avoid Manon forever. 

Sophia was enjoying one of the few moments of peace in their apartment, it was a Tuesday afternoon and Megan and Yoonchae were on a date whilst Dani was in a European History lecture, watching old cartoons on their crappy little TV and singing along to the theme songs and jingles. She knew she only had a couple of hours before Dani came screaming into the apartment, literally, so times like this were ones to treasure. But, of course, all nice things must come to an end, as her bubble of calm was broken by an unexpected knock at the door. Whilst Dani forgetting her keys and needing to be let in was far from uncommon, her lecture wouldn’t be over for at least another hour.

With a disgruntled sigh, Sophia rose from her seat on their couch and trudged over to answer the door. It was likely some crap Megan had ordered off amazon again; the girl barely had enough money for rent but had plenty for an apple peeler and a waterproof speaker. She swung the door open tiredly, ready to sign for whatever it was and go back to her cartoons.

But it wasn’t a delivery person. It was Manon.

Sophia squeaked in shock, having to resist the urge to slam the door in her face as she met Manon’s eyes; the other girl seemingly also taken aback at the sight of Sophia.

“Dani isn’t here.” Sophia stated simply, really hoping that would be enough to get Manon to leave. “Her lecture finishes at 3, so she’ll be back at like half 3.”

“I know, I know her schedule.” Manon replied quickly. “I’m not here to see Dani.”

“Megan is out with Yoonchae right now, she probably won’t be back until- ”

“No, Sophia, I’m here to see you.” Manon interrupted, flashing Sophia a dazzling smile.

“Oh.” Sophia frowned, ignoring the way her stomach turned at that. “Why?”

“Dani wanted us to hang out more, and she said you’d be here alone and apparently she double checked, and you were free so.” Manon explained. “You are free, right?”

“Ummm.” Sophia started, trying desperately to think of a way to escape the situation, but her wearing pyjamas with no makeup made it very difficult for her to get herself out of this one with a convincing lie.

“Because Dani said you were really important to her, and she really wanted us to get along.” Manon interjected before Sophia could think of a lie, the girl somehow knowing exactly how to tug on Sophia’s heartstrings and guilt her into being honest. “To be honest, she thought you were avoiding me for some reason.” Manon laughed uncomfortably, scratching the back of her neck awkwardly.

“No! No I wasn’t avoiding you, I really was busy.” Sophia lied, moving aside so she was no longer standing in the doorway, suddenly made painfully aware of the fact she was wearing nothing but an oversized t-shirt and boyshorts. “Come in, I’ll just go get dressed really quickly.”

“Oh you don’t have to, I know you weren’t expecting company.” Manon was quick to emphasise.

“It’s okay, I mean I probably shouldn’t be lounging around in my pajamas at 2pm anyway.” Sophia laughed stiffly, unconvincingly, shutting the door behind Manon and jetting off to the safety of her bedroom.

“Fuck, fuck.” Sophia whispered to herself as she rummaged through her closet, pulling out a pair of sweatpants, hastily tugging them on and nearly falling over in the process. She glanced at her clock, 14:15. “Great, I have at least an hour alone with her, fucking perfect.” 

Sophia sighed to herself as she flopped down on her bed, biting down on her hand to suppress the frustrated groan that threatened to make its way passed her lips. This was absolutely not how she’d planned to spend her afternoon alone, this was probably the how she’d least liked to spend her afternoon of privacy; and yet this was what she was left to deal with.

“It’s just an hour.” Sophia muttered to herself, trying to stop herself from getting grumpy. “You can survive an hour with her, for Dani.”

Manon was uncomfortably sat on the couch when Sophia reentered the living room, it looked as if she’d never been to the apartment before; an outsider would not have believed that this apartment had essentially become Manon’s second home based on how much time she spent there. She looked over her shoulder to shoot Sophia the most convincing smile she could muster, it was stiff and awkward but it was a comfort for Sophia to see Manon was just as nervous and, perhaps, as unwilling as her.

Plastering on her own fake smile, Sophia rounded the couch and sat down next to Manon at, what was essentially, the other side of the couch. The silence was deafening, neither one knowing what to say or do; maybe this hang out should’ve been a little better planned, because it was definitely not going the way Dani wanted. After a long couple minutes of silence, Manon finally spoke.

“It’s kinda weird how Dani and I have been dating for like 4 months and we’ve never hung out until now.” Manon chuckled unconvincingly. “Plus, I mean, we met in May, so we’ve known each other like 5 months, nearly 6.”

“Most of that time was the summer break to be fair.” Sophia shrugged, tone neutral and slightly brash. “And you were still a highschooler from May to June, so it makes sense we never hung out.”

“Right, right.” Manon nodded nervously. “So, umm, tell me about yourself? What do you do?”

“Well, I’m a dance major like Dani, with a minor in literature unlike Dani.” Sophia listed off coolly, as if her heart wasn’t hammering in her chest. “So I read and dance a lot in my spare time. I’m from Manila, in the Philippines, originally and that’s about it.”

“Oh, that’s really cool.” Manon clicked her tongue, evidently waiting for Sophia to ask her the same question. “Well, I’m a music major and I’m thinking of getting a minor in literature as well because I’ve always loved reading.” Manon smiled brightly at her, but Sophia didn’t return it; Manon frowned slightly but continued regardless. “Dani has been teaching me to dance recently, I kinda suck but she’s really amazing so I usually just watch her. I’m sure you’re a great dancer too.”

“Yup.” Sophia popped the ‘p’ as she nodded slowly. “That’s cool though, literature is interesting I’d definitely recommend it if you like reading a lot.”

“I’ve always loved reading, I recently read The Memoir of a Murderer by Kim Young-ha, it was amazing, I read the whole thing in one sitting.” Manon enthused excitedly, fully turning towards Sophia who stayed staring straight forward at the TV. “I’d definitely recommend reading it if you haven’t already.”

“I’ll have to check it out, thank you.” Sophia shot Manon an awkward half smile.

Manon audibly exhaled when Sophia turned back to watch the TV, the girl doing her best to ignore Manon’s presence as best she could in the hopes the hour would drag as much as it was if she did. She could hear Manon fidgeting awkwardly next to her, and she almost felt guilty for being so cold with Manon, but something in her heart and in her brain wouldn’t let her be any other way. She never realised just how jealous she was of Manon until now, Sophia truly wished she could get over it.

Time passed slowly with them sat next to each other in an uncomfortable silence, the cartoons playing on the TV doing nothing to break the tension as Sophia was finding it more and more difficult to focus on them; she could tell Manon was desperate to say something, she wished she’d just say something and stop fidgeting.

“What was your favourite cartoon growing up? Mine was Sailor Moon but I always had a soft spot for Pororo too.” Manon tried, desperate to break the awkward barrier between them.

“I liked Sailor Moon too, and Doraemon.” Sophia agreed, and the dreaded question slipped past her lips before she could stop herself. “Have you met your soulmate yet?”

“Well, no.” Manon answered stiltedly, Sophia could practically hear the wince in her voice and felt guilty for asking. “But, I don’t really buy into the whole soulmate crap. My parents aren’t soulmates and they’re still perfectly happy, and still in love after 24 years.”

“That’s fair, I guess.” Sophia fought all of her natural instincts telling her to scoff and argue with her. “I guess I just can’t imagine a world where I don’t meet mine and then get to see colors.”

“Yeah, Megan and Yoonchae do make the whole soulmate thing sound pretty great.” Manon admitted. “But, I think I could live without meeting my soulmate as long as I get to be with someone I love.”

“Each to their own.” Sophia shrugged, swallowing down the lump that formed in her throat at what Manon said, a wave of jealousy washing over at the thought of Manon and Dani staying together. It was strange.

They stayed silent after that.

It didn’t take a genius to realise things got even more awkward between Sophia and Manon after they spoke. Sophia began distancing herself from the apartment again, resorting back to her old habits of staying at the library and dance studio for hours on end. Manon started coming around their apartment less and less, citing an increase in school work and worries about grades; but it was really clear to see the real reason. Both were convinced the other hated them, both were equally upset by the idea.

So, it was inevitable for Dani to corner her and investigate what happened between the two; desperate to understand why the pair were even more uncomfortable with each other than before. Sophia just didn’t expect the grilling from Dani to come so soon after her hang out with Manon.

“Sophia,” Came Dani’s unmistakable voice from the couch, Sophia froze in place, “can we talk for a second?”

Sophia sighed, she had been keen to sneak out to the library unnoticed, but Dani had caught her. She could’ve sworn Dani was napping 10 minutes ago.

“Sure, Dani.” Sophia smiled sweetly, feigning ignorance. “What’s up?”

Dani watched as Sophia moved to sit next to her on the couch, eyebrow raised sceptically; she was absolutely not buying Sophia’s innocent act, they both knew what was coming.

“It’s about Manon, I spoke to her yesterday,” Dani started slowly, eyeing Sophia to gauge her reaction. “She thinks you hate her, Sophia.”

Sophia visibly winced at that, guilt panged in her heart; she didn’t hate Manon, at least she didn’t think so. She knew she had been cold and kinda rude, but she hadn’t realised it’d been that bad.

“I don’t hate her, Dan.” Sophia grimaced, scratching her head and refusing to meet Dani’s eyes. “I was a bit cold when she came over because I wasn’t expecting company, and I’d had a bad day at college.”

“You could’ve just told her that, Sophia.” Dani sighed, her tone was tired but at least she wasn’t angry. “She told me she didn’t want to come around ours anymore because she was worried about bumping into you and making you uncomfortable. She is so certain you hate her”

“I’m sorry, Dani. This is totally my fault I know.” Sophia whined, rubbing her temples out of frustration as she tried to gather her thoughts. “Can you tell her I don’t hate her? I don’t want her thinking I do.”

“She won’t believe it coming from me, you’re gonna need to tell her yourself.” Dani explained with a shrug.

“How am I supposed to do that? I’m busy with like 2 literature essays and 2 dance essays due in the next week, and I need to get them all done in prep for the slew of parties coming?” Sophia complained. “I really don’t have time to meet up with her and talk it out, I’m sorry Dani.”

“You can text her, or call her?” Dani suggested.

“I don’t have her phone number, or- ”

“I’m gonna give you options, because I’m nice.” Dani interrupted, gesturing for Sophia to hand over her phone. She tapped away for a minute before handing it back. “There, now you have her phone number and I added her on Facebook for you. Message her Sophia, she’d be thrilled to hear from you.”

“Okay.” Sophia muttered, transfixed by the contact in her phone, she had never been so intimidated by a phone number before. “Okay, I promise I’ll text her.”

“Thank you, that’s all I ask. I just want my favourite people in Korea to not hate each other.” Dani pouted at her, Sophia rolled her eyes causing them both to giggle. “Now go do your work, get your essay’s done so we can enjoy ourselves.”

“Yes, mom.” Sophia groaned dramatically, standing up to leave, but not before leaning down to press a sloppy kiss on Dani’s forehead. “Make sure you get yours done too.”

“Mine are all done, Manon helped me.” Dani jeered, sticking her tongue out at Sophia as the girl started to leave.

“Cheater!” Sophia gasped.

“You wish you were me, Laforteza.” Dani teased.

“Never!” Sophia giggled, waving goodbye to Dani as she left.

Sophia slumped down in the seat opposite Yoonchae, she’d pulled an all nighter the night previous in a desperate attempt to finish at least 2 of her 4 essays she had to do. Whilst she’d been successful, getting 2 done and half finishing a third, she was truly feeling the effects now and desperately needed a coffee. She and Yoonchae could not look more different, it was almost comical; Sophia in her old sweatpants and a mismatched hoodie, looking like she hadn’t slept in months, compared Yoonchae who was dressed to the nines and looking like a model.

“Fun night?” Yoonchae giggled, nodding in reference to Sophia’s disheveled appearance.

“Stayed up all night to finish some of my essays.” Sophia grumbled, taking a sip of her coffee and wincing at how it scolded her tongue. “I’ve got 4 due for the 5th, and I just know I’m not going to have enough time to do them before then, so I’m tryna complete them all before Halloween.”

“Well, you look great.” Yoonchae smirked cheekily at her, taking a sip from her own coffee.

“Oh how you wound me, Yoonchip.” Sophia whined, clutching her chest dramatically, drawing a chuckle from Yoonchae. “We can’t all be as pretty as you all the time.”

“The secret is getting enough sleep, and not living off caffeine.” Yoonchae teased.

“I’ll have to try that sometime, sounds like a pretty solid idea.” Sophia agreed, bobbing her head slightly as she blew on her coffee in a desperate attempt to cool it. “But right now, caffeine is the only thing keeping me going.”

“That’s not healthy.”

“You’re not healthy.”

“A whole lot healthier than you.” Yoonchae countered easily, winking at Sophia for added effect. “Are you looking forward to the Halloween party?”

“You have no idea, the Park’s are hosting this year. I heard Jimin booked a DJ and Sooyoung told me they’re gonna have it at their parents huge house, they’ve got a pool and everything.” Sophia enthused excitedly, the Park siblings were notorious party hosts; their parents were massively wealthy but always away on business often leaving their home free for parties. “It’s kind of annoying that we have to have it after Halloween, but oh well.”

“What date is it again?”

“The 2nd of November, the Saturday after Halloween basically.” Sophia explained. “But it’s the day after Meg’s birthday this year, so we get to call it a late birthday party too.”

“Sounds awesome” Yoonchae chuckled. “I’m guessing we’re all gonna be getting ready at your place then?”

“Oh of course, we have the biggest apartment so.” Sophia replied, as if it was obvious.

“Will you be okay with Manon?” Yoonchae questioned gently, Sophia visibly winced at the question. “Guessing your ‘hang out’ didn’t go well.”

“You have no idea, she thinks I hate her.” Sophia groaned, taking a big gulp of her coffee.

“Well, do you?” Yoonchae frowned at her curiously. “Because whenever she comes up in conversation you make that face, y’know, the constipated one.”

“I don’t hate her, per se.” Sophia grumbled into her mug of coffee, it was difficult to vocalise her feelings on Manon. “I just, I don’t know, I don’t like her. But, it’s complicated, I don’t know how to explain it. I don’t think she likes me very much, if it’s any consolation.”

“And how does that make you feel?” Yoonchae leant forward in her chair slightly, eyeing Sophia carefully.

“I don’t know, indifferent? I guess.” Sophia took a sip of her coffee, her thoughts were all over the place today. “I feel kinda bad for Dani, because I know she wants us to get along but I just can’t do it. It’s just, complicated, I guess.”

“Is it about the soulmate thing?” Yoonchae offered.

“I still don’t get it Yoonchaeri, I don’t know if I ever will.” Sophia sighed, rubbing her temple with her free hand. “I’m being good, don’t worry, I just don’t get how someone could date a person that wasn’t their soulmate. Like, the universe knows what it’s doing and it just seems stupid to ignore it.”

“Sophia...”

“I know, I know. I haven’t told them how I feel don’t worry.” Sophia reassured her. “It’s just, I don’t know. This whole thing is a fucking mess and I’m sick of it, sick of being grumpy all the time.”

“Might be worth trying talking to Manon again, but in person, so you can clear the air properly.” Yoonchae suggested. “If Dani likes her so much, I don’t doubt you two will get along as well, you just need to put in a bit more effort.”

“Shit that reminds me actually, I was supposed to text her and say sorry.” Sophia moaned, scolding herself mentally. “Tell her that I don’t actually hate her.”

“That’s a good start.” Yoonchae agreed. “Start there and then maybe arrange a hang out where you can clear the air in person.”

“Yeah, yeah I promise I’ll do that when I get home.” Sophia nodded, yawning loudly. “I need to get some sleep first, or I won’t make any sense when I text her.”

“That’s definitely a good idea, I can tell your brain isn’t working right now.” Yoonchae chuckled when Sophia whined at her. “I don’t know if I like ‘no sleep Sophia’.”

“No sleep Sophia isn’t too fond of you either.” Sophia muttered grumpily, pouting at Yoonchae who just laughed harder in response.

Sophia [18:21pm]

hey Manon, it’s Sophia

just thought i’d text you to say sorry

i promise i don’t hate you i was just
really tired, i’d had a bad day at
college and i wasn’t expecting any
visitors that’s all

Manon [18:25pm]

hi Sophia!!

thank you for messaging me

i guess Dani probably told you i
was worried

no hard feelings, i totally get that

its my bad for just barging in on
you like that!!

Sophia [18:27pm]

yeah but i could’ve handled it a
lot better than i did im sorry

Manon [18:28pm]

it’s okay you’re forgiven!

im sorry too

Sophia [18:29pm]

you’re forgiven too

ive gotta get back to my school
work, can we get coffee and
talk properly then?

Manon [18:30pm]

absolutely! 

when are you free?

Sophia [18:30pm]

umm its probs best to do it
after the halloween party

sooo how does the 5th work
for you?

Manon [18:32pm]

i have a lecture at 11 then nothing
all day :)

Sophia [18:33pm]

shall we say 1 then?

Manon [18:34pm]

perfect! 

Sophia [18:35]

cool! see you at megs thing then

Manon [18:35pm]

see you!!

Sophia had never seen Lara move so fast, the other girl rushing around their apartment frantically, checking all their decorations and adding small decals and smoothing everything out while everyone else just sat around the apartment and watched her, amused. Lara had always been a bit of a perfectionist, to put it lightly, and wanted everything to look perfect for when Megan got back.

“I still don’t get why we’re going to this much effort, Lara.” Dani called after her from her seat on the couch, Lara halting in her tracks and turning to glare at Dani. “I mean it’s just the 6 of us, and Megs said she didn’t want us to make a big deal out of her birthday.”

“People who say they don’t want others to do anything for their birthdays are liars.” Lara replied coolly, shooting Dani an angry glare. “Everyone always says they don’t want it to be a big thing, but they’re just being nice. Look at me for example, I said I didn’t want a big party for my birthday.”

“Yeah, but you then went and made a groupchat called ‘Lara’s surprise party’, added like 30 people to it and then left it.” Manon interjected quickly, rolling her eyes at how Lara shrugged nonchalantly.

“Oh, you know I couldn’t take the risk.” Lara scoffed. “You guys are dense as fuck, no offence, and there was a real risk you thought I was serious. And pipe down anyway, it was a really great party.”

“You literally completely took over the planning, no one else got a word in.” Sophia pointed out laughing.

“And it was a great party, one for the memory book, truly.” Lara smiled smugly. “Just be grateful I’m only doing decorations for Meg’s, I could’ve very easily organised a full rave.”

“No one is doubting that, Lala.” Dani chuckled. “When did Yoonchae say they’d be back?”

“She said around half 3, so we’ve got around 10 minutes.” Sophia explained, peering at her phone clock.

“We have 10 minutes, and no one is helping me get everything perfect?” Lara whined grumpily, pouting at them all.

“The decorations look great Lara, I’m sure Megs will love them.” Manon reassured her tiredly.

“I still think Yoonchae should’ve helped, she’s the only one other than Megan who can actually see color.” Lara grumbled. “Remind me again why we didn’t get one of you three to distract Megan?”

“Because there was no way she was gonna go anywhere without Yoonchae, willingly. Especially not on her birthday.” Dani shrugged. “Plus, Yoonchae wanted to take her out for lunch.”

“I hope the colors are okay and don’t clash.” Lara sighed, taking a step back to admire her work. “I mean, it looks great in grayscale.”

“You know she will glance at the decorations and then be distracted by the cake and presents, right?” Sophia reminded her.

“Don’t tell me that now.” Lara groaned dramatically. “I just spent nearly 2 hours setting these all up, because no one else wanted to help.”

“Firstly, we tried to help and you got angry at us because ‘we were doing it wrong’,” Manon interjected. “Secondly, we told you that multiple times, you just don’t listen.”

“I dunno, all I’m hearing here is that this is totally on you guys.” Lara shrugged sulkily, eliciting groans of frustration from the other 3.

“Yoonchae says they’re on their way up btw.” Sophia interrupted quickly, before Lara could get another complaint in. “Are we hiding?”

“Yes!” Lara squealed excitedly.

Dani and Manon giggled to each other as they hid behind the arm of the couch together, huddled close together to prevent them from being seen; she’d be lying if Sophia said it didn’t hurt a bit to see them act like that together, she wished it didn’t. Lara hissed at her from her hiding place in the kitchen, behind the counter, for her to get in cover. Sophia rolled her eyes and dropped down behind the counter as well. The room fell into silence apart from quiet breathing, it was tense all of them eagerly anticipating Megan and Yoonchae’s return; but they were looking forward to their reactions.

It took a minute of hiding for Dani to get bored, and the silence was broken by a loud squeal from behind the arm of the couch as she started to poke at Manon’s sides in an effort to get her to laugh; Sophia could practically hear Lara’s eyeroll and the sound of her own ribs constricting her lungs.

The sound of keys outside the front door drew everyone’s attention, and the giggling and movement promptly stopped. Everyone held their breaths as the door opened and the sound of Yoonchae and Megan chatting filled the silence of the apartment.

“I still feel really bad for that waiter, hope he gets to keep his job.” Megan started before abruptly stopping in her tracks and glancing around the apartment. “What the fuck.”

“Surprise!” Lara, Sophia, Dani and Manon popped up from their hiding places, shouting excitedly. Megan nearly jumped out of her skin while Yoonchae chuckled to herself.

“Happy birthday, Meimei.” Lara cooed, skipping over to her and wrapping her arms around her in an attempt to land a kiss on her cheek.

Megan screamed and tried desperately to force Lara’s face back, to save herself from the inevitable kiss. The others just laughed at the pair, Yoonchae rolling her eyes as she squeezed past the two and made her way into the living room to admire the decorations.

“Who did the decorations?” Yoonchae asked, Megan momentarily let her guard down to take a peek, allowing Lara to land a wet kiss on her cheek proudly. Megan whined and rubbed at her cheek dramatically as Lara walked away smugly.

“They were all me.” Lara boasted, shooting a glare to the other three.

“You did a good job with the colors.” Yoonchae praised, Lara raising a smug eyebrow at that. “Only a few of them clash, I’m honestly surprised.” 

“‘A few’ is better than ‘all’, so I’m gonna take that as a victory.” Lara cheered happily.

“I’m pretty sure I said I didn’t want this to be a whole thing.” Megan muttered to herself, taking in the decorations that littered their living room. “This definitely looks like a ‘thing’.”

“But Mei~” Dani singsonged, finally detaching herself from Manon to skip towards Megan. “We have cake and presents.”

“I guess I can let it slide this time, then.” Megan relented easily, grinning at the mention of gifts and food. “Presents first then cake?”

The apartment was silent once again, apart from the quiet sounds of cake being eaten and the occasional hum of enjoyment. It was peaceful, and Sophia truly enjoyed times like this, when they were all together but weren’t arguing or yelling, and the lack of physical violence made for a nice change as well. But, she couldn’t truly enjoy it, much like how most things seemed to go nowadays, because Dani was feeding Manon her cake and cooing at her sweetly, and Sophia’s heart was aching.

Her thoughts and feelings towards Manon and Dani were a mystery, she didn’t know what was going on in her head but she knew she didn’t like it. It felt a lot like jealousy, but also a whole lot like heartbreak and none of it made much sense to her; she really wished she could just say it was that she hated Manon and move on from it, she didn’t know anymore.

“What’s the plan for tomorrow?” Yoonchae’s voice broke her out of her thoughts, drawing everyone’s attention as they all turned to look at her. Dani paused with her thumb brushing crumbs from Manon’s lips, and Sophia felt sick to her stomach at the sight. “I mean, we’re meeting here right but what are we doing beyond that.”

“I thought we should meet here at like 6?” Dani offered, everyone nodded in agreement. “We all get ready, get changed do our makeup etc, start pregaming at like 9 and then head over there just after 10.”

“The party officially starts at 9, so we wanna get there just before 11 really.” Sophia added quickly.

“I did promise Sooyoung I’d help her set up, so I won’t be pregaming with you unfortunately.” Lara reminded them. “What will you all be wearing, so I know what to look for?”

“Wonderwoman.” Sophia cheered happily, placing her hands on her hips to mimic Wonderwoman’s famous pose

“Pirate queen.” Yoonchae answered simply.

“No Face.” Megan replied.

“Not doing a couples costume, Megan?” Lara asked, confused.

“Nah, my mom had already made the mask and everything when Yoonchae suggested a couples costume. So we’re not doing that this year.”

“Well, fair enough I guess. Dani?”

“Slutty Tinkerbell.” Dani giggled, nodding at Manon who was giggling as well.

“And I’m slutty Peter Pan.” Manon blushed shyly.

“How do you even do slutty Peter Pan?” Megan questioned. “That doesn’t seem like the kind costume you do slutty.”

“Well I guess you’ll find out tomorrow.” Manon fired back.

“It’s basically just a Peter Pan costume with no tights, it’s more skin tight and instead of it being a dress, it’s a crop top and a short skirt.” Dani explained simply.

“How is that Peter Pan then?” Megan asked.

“She’s got the hat and the lil dagger, I’m guessing it’s the same color too.” Dani shrugged, mouth full of cake.

“Why are we questioning the authenticity of slutty Peter Pan?” Yoonchae interjected before Megan could say anything.

“Because I’ve never seen slutty Peter Pan before, was curious how one would go about it.” Megan replied.

“What I wanna see is slutty No Face.” Sophia suggested, nodding to Megan who burst into laughter.

“That’s just No Face with a shorter cloak, fishnets and stilettos, next.” Dani answered neutrally.

“How are we getting to the party?” Manon interrupted quickly, desperate to change the subject. “Are we walking, getting an uber or is someone gonna not drink and drive us?”

“Not drinking is definitely out, it’s a Halloween party.” Megan replied, pausing for thought. “I guess we could walk, how far is it?”

“It’s like an hour walk across town and I’m gonna be wearing heels.” Sophia groaned. “Can we just get an uber?”

“Sure but I’m not paying, I’m totally broke.” Megan shrugged.

“You literally just spent like 2o bucks on an Overwatch figurine the other day? How are you broke?” Dani interrupted, pointing an accusatory finger at Megan who just rolled her eyes.

“That’s exactly why I’m broke, Dani.”

“If we split the uber between the 5 of us, it should be pretty cheap.” Manon offered, everyone seemingly agreeing at that.

“Text me when you arrive and I’ll come meet you at the front door, I’ll be the one in the Catwoman costume.” Lara chirped happily. “Sooyoung, Jimin and Chaeyoung have planned the best party, you guys really aren’t ready.”

“Can’t wait!” Sophia hummed happily, everyone nodding in agreement.

The Parks were fucking loaded .

It was one of those things about them that everyone knew, they made sure you couldn’t forget with the amount of expensive brands they wore and the cars they owned, but it was something that never really hit you until you saw their house. Calling it a house almost felt like you were degrading it, the sheer size of it made it feel like it was worthy of the title of mansion. And even though Sophia was far from the only broke college student there, she couldn’t help but feel out of place, like she almost wasn’t worthy. But that was likely just the vodka talking.

Music blasted through the walls, loud even at the very bottom of their long driveway; a driveway littered with people drinking and talking; and at the end of the driveway, standing in the doorway, was a very excited Lara who was waving at them frantically. Sophia giggled, already extremely tipsy, and broke off from the others to jog, very unsteadily in her heels, up to Lara and hug her.

“You look so good.” Lara slurred happily, clearly already hammered. “We look good together, our outfits are kind of matching if you think about it.” Lara pointed between the two of them, poking at Sophia’s exposed tummy causing them both to giggle.

“Yesss, I’m the hero and you’re the villain.” Sophia chirped, near shouting to be heard over the music. “We’re clearly the best couple here.”

“Catwoman isn’t really a villain per se.” Megan interrupted, followed by a chorus of groans and eyerolls. “She’s more of an anti-hero.”

“Whatever nerd.” Lara stuck her tongue out at Megan and linking arms with Sophia. “Let’s go get drinks, there’s so many people I want you guys to meet.”

It was easy to forget just how many friends Lara had sometimes, since she barely ever hung out with them and always favoured their group instead; it was something of an ego booster, but she’d never tell Lara that.

The kitchen was huge and alive with activity, people were doing shots and someone was doing a kegstand, her money was on Hoseok. Lara was immediately pulled off her arm by a girl Sophia didn’t recognise, but from the way Lara laughed happily she guessed Lara did know her, thus Sophia was left with the couples. She turned around to face the four of them, their expressions a mixture of drunk and confused, and took it upon herself to lead them to the table where all the drinks were. A hand clapped her on the shoulder, making her jump before she heard them speak.

“Sophia! So glad you could make it!” Sooyoung spun her around to pull her into a hug that Sophia happily reciprocated, it’d been a while since she’d last seen the girl. “Let me grab you a drink.”

“Thanks Soo, you look absolutely killer by the way.” Sophia allowed herself to be pulled away from the others, silently grateful, she brushed her fingers over the material of Sooyoung’s dress. “What are you supposed to be then.”

“A vintage movie actress.” Sooyoung shouted back to her. 

“Is that just an excuse to wear a hot dress?” Sophia teased, playing with the straps of Sooyoung’s dress as she watched the other girl fix them both some drinks - it really was hot.

“Maybe.” Sooyoung giggled, turning around to hand Sophia a cup of something. “Here drink this, it’s my famous cocktail that Seulgi came up with.” Sophia took a sip and winced, it was extremely strong.

“What’s in this?”

“A little bit of malibu, lemonade, orange juice and then like 3 shots of vodka.” Sooyoung smirked evilly, before taking a sip of her own drink.

“Are you trying to kill me?” Sophia nearly choked on her drink as Sooyoung laughed.

“No, just get you really drunk.” Sooyoung shrugged as if it was obvious. “Seulgi has had like four and she’s fine.”

“Somehow I really struggle to believe that.” Sophia giggled, taking another gulp of the drink.

“Now come on, finish that I wanna go dance.” Sooyoung nodded at her drink, before chugging her own and setting the cup back on the table.

The dance floor was electric, with strobe lights of multiple shades and speakers surrounding the whole room, pumping it full of bass. The DJ was tucked away in his booth in the corner of the room while people danced energetically in the centre. Two people, who looked a whole lot like Seungwan and Ten, had already broke out into an aggressive dance off while people cheered and egged them on. People were grinding on each other, all sweaty and out of synch; making out against the wall whilst other couples argued loudly next to them. 

It really was just what Sophia had been needing.

Sooyoung wasted no time getting Sophia to grind on her the second the song switched from hard bass to something slower, Havana by Camila Cabello, one of her favourites. The drink was starting to fully hit her, her head swimming and her muscles loosening as she grinded her ass against Sooyoung’s hips. And in a really strange way she’d missed this. She’d missed feeling this relaxed, there really was nothing else she was worrying about in that moment other than making sure she was matching Sooyoung’s movements properly.

Then the song ended and it was over, Jimin sauntered over pulling Sooyoung away from her talking about something along the lines of a ‘Park sibling drink off’, and then they were both gone. But at that point, Sophia was too drunk to care.

Heavy bass ripped through the room and all of a sudden she was being pulled into a dance off with Hwang Eunbi from modern dance class; the pair dancing like their life depended on it as people howled with laughter around them, laughing at their focussed facial expressions. Sophia was having the time of her life, she felt as if she was on top of the world.

Until her eyes drifted across the room and landed on something she really didn’t want to see. She must’ve seen Dani and Manon making out countless times by now, the couple having little to no shame, but her heart always tugged in exactly the same way and that lump always formed in her throat at the sight. Sophia froze for a second as she watched Dani pull Manon into her lap and join their lips in a slow kiss; her heart aching as she watched them. 

She really needed another drink.

It was nearly 2am when Sophia finally saw Lara again, the girl significantly drunker than when she’d last seen her, with a whole lot more hickeys; but in fairness Sophia was a whole lot drunker too. The other girl latched herself onto Sophia’s arm, tugging at the sleeve of the cardigan Sophia had somehow acquired over the course of the evening as she led her towards one of the many side rooms.

“We’re playing ‘Truth or Dare’ Sophia, c’mon you’ve gotta join us.” Lara slurred slowly. “It’s been really fun, Dani had to eat a whole head of lettuce.”

The mention of Dani’s name made her stomach turn, Dani being there meant Manon had to be there as well. Her heart was telling her it wasn’t a good idea to join, but she was far too intoxicated to care. There were a good 15 people sat in a circle in the room when they got there, including Dani, Sooyoung, Jimin, Chaeyoung, Jinsoul, Taehyung and of course Manon. Lara pulled her down to sit between her and Sooyoung, the pair immediately snuggling into her and cooing at her softly.

Sophia struggled to pay much attention to what was going on in the game, she was getting kind of tired and it was too far from her turn for her to focus. She vaguely recalled someone doing bodyshots, someone else doing a strip tease (she’s pretty sure it was Hoseok, again) and then Manon giving Dani a lap dance; the way her chest seized at the sight was hard to forget. And then all of a sudden Lara was pulling away from sucking hickeys into Yerin’s neck and everyone was looking at her.

“Sophia, truth or dare.” Jimin asked her, struggling to get the words out as he was giggling like mad.

“Uhh.” Sophia thought for a second, she really had no idea what was happening. “Fuck it, dare.”

“I’ve got one!” Chaeyoung piped up from where she was practically lying in Lalisa’s lap. “Spin this bottle, whoever it lands on you’ve got to kiss for 5 seconds.”

“5 seconds? C’mon now Chae, we raised you better than to be a prude.” Sooyoung whined grumpily.

“Fuck off Soo, fine make it 10 seconds then.” Chaeyoung frowned grumpily, rolling the bottle into the centre of the circle. “There you go Sophia, spin that.”

Sophia shrugged and unsteadily got to her feet, stumbling towards the bottle and kneeling down next to it. There were a whole lot of people in this circle she really, really didn’t want to kiss; but at this point of the night nothing really mattered anymore and she couldn’t find it in herself to care. She steadied herself, clutching the cardigan closer around herself as a chill ran down her spine, before spinning the bottle as hard as she could and watched it spin, almost making her feel dizzy. All eyes were on the bottle as it started to slow, Sophia felt her heart drop as she saw who it was heading towards, and then it stopped and Lara was howling with laughter behind her.

It landed on Manon, of fucking course it was Manon.

“Oh shit, Dani, I can spin it again if you want.” Sophia quickly went to grab at the bottle again, she looked over at Dani apologetically only to see the other girl smiling lazily.

“I don’t care, if you two don’t mind I don’t mind.” Dani shrugged casually.

Sophia turned to meet Manon’s eyes, it was almost like they were silently daring her; felt much like the two were locked in a strange dance, neither one wanting to admit they either did or didn’t want to kiss the other. Then Lara shouted “Pussy!” at them, and the spell was broken.

“I don’t care.” Manon quirked a daring eyebrow at Sophia, silently egging her on.

“Me neither, it’s just a kiss.” Sophia agreed nonchalantly.

Her heart hammered in her chest as she watched Manon slowly walk over towards the centre of the circle, where Sophia was still kneeling. She could feel everyone’s eyes on them as Manon knelt down in front of her, and she felt so unbelievably anxious. Sophia’s hands moved with a mind of their own, moving to cup Manon’s cheeks as Manon’s hands rested on her waist. Sophia leant in first, closing her eyes just before hers and Manon’s lips met.

Something in her chest exploded as their lips first touched, warmth spreading over her body as their lips melded together perfectly. Hands tugged at her waist drawing them closer together and Sophia brushed her along Manon’s cheek. Time slowed as she drew Manon’s bottom lip between her own, eliciting a hum of approval from the other girl that reverberated against her lips. Seconds felt like hours, and Sophia could’ve stayed in that moment forever.

“10 seconds is up! Break it up you two!” Jimin shouted out at them, Lara whooped loudly from somewhere.

A deep pain ruptured behind her eyes the second their lips parted, Sophia winced slightly, squeezing her eyes further shut the pain reverberated around her skull.

Sophia opened her eyes slowly, the terrible pain in her head not going away. Something was different, and if the way Manon was staring at her with wide eyes and lips parted in shock told her anything, it was that Manon noticed it to.

Then she took her eyes of Manon for a second and it hit her.

The walls weren’t grey anymore.