Work Text:
It must have been morning, for the morning sun streamed into the room through the gaps in the curtains that hadn't been fully drawn.
Sunlight fell on the face of the person sleeping in the room, and then Mudano jolted awake. He sat up, and the blanket slipped off him. The room was quiet, but the morning light was bright enough to illuminate the place. It was Kyouya's office.
“Did you sleep well, Danocchi?”
Hearing Kyouya's voice, Mudano turned his face and saw him sitting in the armchair beside his bed, holding a cup of tea. There was another cup of tea on the desk, which was apparently freshly poured, still steaming.
“Where am I...”
As soon as the words left Mudano's mouth, he regretted asking such a pointless question. He frowned.
“It's my office. Don't get me wrong, I brought you here just because you drank too much last night. ”
Kyouya answered without being asked. Then he took a sip of his tea, placed the cup back on the desk, walked over to pick up the blanket fallen on the floor. He patted off the dust, folded it neatly and put it back on the bed.
As he was doing all this, a dim ray of morning light brushed past, allowing Mudano to clearly see two dark circles under his eyes. His teardrop moles seemed to be trembling like tears about to fall.
“So, did you have a good dream last night?”
Kyouya asked as he folding the blanket.
Mudano looked up at the ceiling and touched the top of his head. His hair was a bit messy. That long sleep he hadn't had in ages made him feel a little uneasy. He had indeed dreamed of the past, but he didn't want to answer that question directly at the moment.
“Kyouya, did you not sleep at all last night?”
Kyouya froze for a moment. After putting the blanket back on the bed, he just stood there by the bedside. He looked at Mudano, then at the floor, and finally turned to the window that was not covered by the curtains.
“Did you dream about the past again?” Kyouya asked.
“Why are you asking these things?”
Then Mudano stopped asking more questions. He began to feel a strange sense of anxiety. It was a workday today, and the latest support mission had just arrived the day before. Luckily, it wasn't urgent, so there was no rush to leave. Before that, he needed to hold a class meeting with the students.
“I have check your timetable, there's still plenty of time before your class start. No need to hurry back, right?”
Mudano's thoughts were interrupted. He came to his senses and saw that Kyouya was already holding a cup of tea out in front of him.
Several seconds passed, and Mudano locked eyes with Kyouya silently.
He was smiling at him.
Mudano was all too familiar to that face. Ever since they graduated from school and started working, Kyouya had always worn a constant frivolous look, which made him seem to be easygoing but also discouraged many from making close friends. But if someone were willing to talk to him for a few more times, they might discover that his expression was actually one of tenderness and compassion. Just like now.
It was something Kyouya had never had back in his school days—something that was a scar left by the war, one that couldn't be healed by his own blood ever.
The steam had already vanished, and Kyouya's young face had faded away the moment he woke from his dream--all of that was a thing of the past. Mudano didn't dwell on it and took a sip of the tea. It was nearly cold.
Kyouya walked over to the window and opened the curtains. Morning light instantly filled the office, drowning him in the backlight from the window.
Mudano looked toward the window, there stood only a tall, thin dark figure and Kyouya's face blurred. He narrowed his eyes.
"I dreamed about our graduation, Kyouya."
Kyouya paused for a moment as he walked toward the desk.
"Dreaming about those things means that you did sleep well. Guess you haven't been this relaxed for a long time."
Mudano quickly put on his work clothes. He'd slept in his clothes last night. When Kyouya was speaking, he walked over to the sink and washed his face briefly.
Seeing that Mudano didn't respond, Kyouya stopped talking and watched him quietly as he did these things.
When Mudano stood up from the sink, he saw Kyouya sitting at the desk watching him from the mirror. The morning sun had risen, bathing him in a flood of golden light.
So beautiful, he suddenly thought.
"Hey, what are you looking at? Are you looking at me?"
Kyouya seemed to have caught his gaze in the mirror, and then he asked with a smile. He appeared to be slipping into that work state as he talked.
Mudano turned off the water and headed for the desk, saying nothing. At that time, he noticed that the bed he'd slept in was the only on-duty bed here.
"I always think that you really are at your cutest moments like this."
"What do you mean?"
Having said that, Mudano frowned again. Unlike Kyouya, he disliked talking about such time-wasting things.
"I mean, seeing you like this, so relaxed, reminds me of our school days."
Kyouya stood up and walked over to Mudano, took the towel from his hand, threw it into the sink, and then reached out to him.
It all happened so fast that Mudano had no time to react. He felt Kyouya's fingers touch his forehead, then slide down his brow and finally stop at the edge of his eyebrow.
It felt like raindrops hitting his face, yet it made his heart race.
Mudano was quite surprised. He was initially annoyed at the invasion of his personal space, but that feeling quickly faded. He grabbed Kyouya's wrist, with all those barely visible scars covered by his own hand.
Kyouya raised his eyebrow, as if surprised. Mudano looked at him for a while, and, for some reason, the words "don't do that" stayed unspoken. He stared fixedly into his eyes, trying hard to say something less hurtful.
But in truth, he'd never been good at saying no to him since they met.
There was a lingering smile on Kyouya's face, as if he were waiting for something. Unlike Mudano, he rarely showed a serious expression until something was happening.
In the silence, Kyouya's hand grew warm from the heat of Mudano's skin. He held his wrist without moving, yet neither of them seemed to be annoyed.
"Now I believe that you weren't lying this time and you did dream about our school days. So, do you miss it, Danocchi? You don't sleep well since we graduated, do you? Back then, things were much easier compared to now."
Although Kyouya's wrist was gripped, his expression was relaxed as he spoke.
Looking at his smiling face, Mudano was speechless for a moment, then he slowly let go of his hand.
Kyouya took the chance to pull his hand back, still saying something without pause.
"Hey, that hurts. Can't you relax a little sometimes? After all, I am a doctor, responsible for the physical and mental health of every teacher and student—"
As soon as Kyouya finished speaking, he sat back down in his chair, propping his head up with both hands.
Mudano was somewhat annoyed. He'd really wasted quite a lot of time here this morning.
Just as Mudano was about to say something, Kyouya suddenly snapped his fingers.
"Ah! I know what you dreamed about. It was the day of graduation, wasn't it?"
It seemed Kyouya was deliberately dragging out the end of his sentence, making it last and last.
"Kyouya, you are as fond of mischief as ever."
By this point, Mudano had finally given up the idea of talking to him. He walked to the locker, picked up his umbrella.
"It's getting late, I need to go to work, Kyoya. You should take over your shift too, go back and rest early."
Birdcalls began to ring out one after another outside the window, and the door was gently closed.
Kyouya sat in his office chair, staring at the door, and absentmindedly rubbed his fingers together.
Ah. He closed his eyes and said to himself.
-
Even though it was still late autumn, the biting wind already carried a hint of winter. It blew in through the window gap, smelling like some kind of cold, hard metal.
Someone knocked the office's door. The knocks were short, yet forceful.
Kyouya quickly turned off the phone screen and closed the window, then sat back down and waited for the visitor. But the door remained unopened for a while, so he called out, somewhat confused.
"Come in! I'm here!"
It was Mudano who opened the door. When Kyouya saw him standing at the doorway, his mind went blank for a moment. He was a rare visitor to his night shift, so he didn't know what to say to start with, except for his usual greeting.
"We had a meeting this afternoon. The principal hasn't assigned new missions for the time being. The students have already been assigned tasks according to plan. Everyone will be going. As usual, if you need anyone to go and assist, just let me know in advance."
"Got it. You could've sent this over on LINE. It wasn't necessary to come all the way here to say it. It's getting late anyway. "
Kyouya scratched his head as he spoke, his hair prickling the palm of his hand.
"I didn't come here to talk about this, just by the way."
Mudano finished speaking while standing at the door, then closed the door behind him as if ignoring Kyouya's presence and walked straight into his office. He pulled out a chair by the desk, sat down and asked bluntly.
"Why did I wake up here this morning?"
"Huh? Didn't I tell you this morning? It's because you were so drunk. Plus, I was kind enough to bring you here."
Kyouya was about to go up to him, but he finally got back to his desk in resignation and plopped himself into his chair, answering that tricky question.
"No."
Mudano rejected the answer without hesitation.
"So you know the answer, don't you? Then why come asking me?"
Even though the window was tightly closed, it seemed as if cold wind was still seeping in from all directions. Kyouya finished speaking in a frustrated tone, and then unconsciously reached up to tug at his collar.
"It's because I don't know why, so I'm here to ask you. Don't give me that perfunctory answer, Kyouya."
Mudano sat so close to the desk, leaning slightly forward, with his arms resting on that cold desktop, fingers tapping the surface every now and then.
They stared at each other across the desk, neither showing any sign of backing down for a moment. Finally, Kyouya sighed.
"Alright, come on, I really wasn't messing with you. Do you know how terrible you looked last night? Like a dead person...oh no, a ghost...wait, that still sounds weird. Never mind, anyway, you looked practically lifeless. Come on, I'm the doctor—"
Before Kyouya could finish speaking, Mudano stepped forward and grabbed him by his collar.
"You can't simply do this, Kyouya."
Kyouya wasn't deterred in the least, on the contrary, he settled into calm.
"Is that so? Then tell me: what should I do? You are under a lot of mental stress. Should I just watch you gradually descend into a mental breakdown? You know, even if I weren't the doctor here, I will always be on your side, Danocchi."
Mudano looked at Kyouya as his smile was gone, then his expression softened slightly and let go of him. After hesitating for a while, he frowned.
"This is a time of war, not some pop quiz."
"Ha! Do you think I don't know what war is? Do you really believe I can't tell the difference between war and exams? I know just as well as you do."
Kyouya seemed a little upset. He finished speaking in one breath and, unusually, called Mudano by his name directly. As he spoke, he reached up to straighten his collar. The chilly wind of late autumn still seemed to be sneaking into his clothes, making him shiver slightly.
No one spoke after that. The two returned to their original seats, sitting across from each other with the desk between them.
Kyouya had never been fond of arguing with others. He fidgeted with his collar uncomfortably, still shivering for no apparent reason.
"You were awake all night."
"What else could it be? The bed's too cramped. Do you think I still enjoy watching you sleep? Those school days are long gone." Kyouya spoke irritably, adding a sharp retort at the end, "This is wartime now."
He spoke so bluntly, and Mudano just stared at him, his dark eyes as still as a stagnant pool. After a moment, he suddenly let out a sigh.
"Are you feeling cold?"
Kyouya was somewhat surprised, seemingly not quite used to the small talk coming from him, yet he involuntarily replied.
"Not at all.” Kyouya paused for a moment before he went on, "But the way you talk—it really takes me back to being 18."
"Do you still remember those trivial things?"
"Although I don't often mention it, I remember a lot of things from the past. After all, I need to chat with the injured and help them relax. Storytelling is always effective, you know."
Kyouya tugged at his collar, slipping back into that frivolous attitude he had at work. He brushed the hair off his forehead with a hand, as he looked at Mudano who remained silent, a mischievous expression suddenly crossed his face.
"Back when we graduated and filled out our applications, everyone was assigned to different military units. I was going to the rescue unit in Kyoto, and you to the combat unit in Tokyo. Do you remember? The day the appointment letters came, you asked me if we could still get to see each other once I was in Kyoto. I said of course we could, after all, the world's transportation was incredibly advanced."
As Kyouya spoke, he smiled silently, looking somewhat triumphant, as if he knew that just mentioning a little more of the past would be enough to irritate the efficiency-obsessed person across from him. But after hearing all this, Mudano just stared at his face, or perhaps his eyes, frowned in his characteristic way.
Kyouya looked at him, reached out his hand. After pausing mid-air for a long while, he finally placed it on his face, just as he had done that morning.
"You've had a tough time all this way, haven't you? After all, this is war."
To Kyouya's surprise, Mudano made no move to defend himself. The moment his finger touched his furrowed brow, he closed his eyes.
This unexpected compliance made Kyouya hesitate for a few seconds. He thought to himself briefly before going on.
"Then what did you say? Let me think...you said that—"
"I said, once the war is over, let's be together. You fool, you even cried."
Mudano suddenly cut off the recounting of the past, leaving Kyouya completely lost for words. While struggling to say something else, his face flushed.
"Oh. Guess that's how it was. How nostalgic. Back then, you were still someone who'd crack such silly jokes."
"Those past things might have been silly, but I wasn't joking."
Mudano said calmly, answering almost instantly.
"Seriously?"
Kyouya muttered softly, almost forgetting that his hand was still resting on Mudano's face.
Mudano reached out wordlessly and took Kyouya's wrist. The bracelets pressed against his hand, sending a ticklish sensation through him. He lifted his hand, pressing his palm to his tattooed cheek. The overwhelming coldness always made him think of rain.
Kyouya froze there for a moment, warmth seeping steadily from that patch of skin. His touch was so warm, nothing like his usual outward demeanor. But actually, he quite likes this feeling.
After all, no one's heart is made of iron.
Mudano turned his face slightly and pressed his lips to that palm. Suddenly, Kyouya felt a moist, soft touch. A sensation that brought back the memory of their first kiss.
To outsiders, Mudano Naito's strength and fame dictated that his image must be cold, hard, silent, and beyond doubt—much like his perpetually dark attire.
Unquestionable, and also impenetrable.
Masumi once said there was a profound sadness about Mudano, and he even chewed out a young man who wanted to persuade him to go back to the front lines for it. Thinking of this, Kyouya fought back a laugh while feeling the urge to sigh. Few would believe that he was actually more human than anyone else.
To the Onis, Mudano was all but a god, and a god cannot step down from his throne and become human. That would be unforgivable.
"You're still the same...always a gentle person. I've always loved you this way. But even if things should have been in the past long ago and are no longer worth carrying anymore, you still insist on shouldering them? If it's always like this, your heart will break."
As Kyouya said this, he had already sighed and was smiling again. Mudano looked up at him. He often noticed that there wasn't much genuine joy in his smile. Instead, it was a compassion that only came after experiencing countless deaths.
That was indeed the kind of look a seasoned doctor might have, but he'd never told him that he didn't particularly like him showing that expression, which had grown almost sorrowful over time.
Mudano thought he was already used to it all on the battlefield, but he wasn't.
"We're all the same. We fight desperately, putting aside those good qualities and memories for the time being, all to end the war in this era and let the Onis and the Momos live in harmony. Isn't that right?"
"Ha-ha! You're always annoyingly smart, Danocchi. Sometimes I hate that you have to be so clever all the time."
Kyouya spread his hand when Mudano's grip loosened, gently stroking his face as if touching a soft flame, then forced himself to pull his hand back.
Mudano turned to him, his gaze calm and unreadable. Kyouya stood up, walked over the desk to his side, abruptly pulled him up from the chair, and then hugged him tightly.
Kyouya's heart thumped wildly. He'd been afraid Mudano would resist, but he didn't. He submitted so readily that it was almost confusing. Kyouya buried his face in the crook of his neck, his voice muffled.
"But it's okay. If your heart breaks, I'll lend you mine until I fix yours."
"What about you, then?"
Mudano's voice sounded strange, hardly like his at all.
"So promise me that you won't leave me, will you?"
After Kyouya said that, Mudano fell silent. But, finally, he wrapped his arms around his waist even tighter. The cold night left faint, fleeting moisture from his breath against his neck.
In truth, Kyouya hadn't expected him to answer. He'd known from the start it would be an unsolvable mystery, yet for so long he'd been too afraid to say it, too afraid to even think it. Maybe today, he'd just feared there might come a day when he would never get the chance to speak it aloud.
Thinking of this, Kyouya let go first.
"It's time to go back and rest, Danocchi. Tomorrow's the weekend, and I'm off work too."
Kyouya seemed to want him to leave, and Mudano had no intention of staying longer. He stood up and headed for the door.
"Is this war finally seeing the dawn of its end?"
As Mudano was about to step out, he heard Kyouya's words, but he didn't turn back.
"Yeah. With all of us still fighting together, this war will definitely end in our time. Once it's over, we'll—"
Mudano's silhouette lingered at the door for a split second, and then the door closed gently.
Kyouya stood there motionless, waiting until all sounds outside the door had faded before finally moving. He walked to the sink to wash his hands, straightened his uniform, then went to the coat rack and slipped on his overcoat.
This was not the time, nor the place. They couldn't make promises here.
Then, once the war ends, will they finally be together as they've always wished? As Kyouya stepped outside, he looked up at the midnight moon.
Pale moonlight fell on his face, inscribing yet another unsolvable mystery.