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By the time Mudano finished checking the area where the students were resting, it was still early. He looked out of the window, there was only darkness. Then he gently opened the door of Shiki’s room, it was completely dark inside.
The faint ticking of the clock sounded especially sharp in the darkness before dawn. Mudano stood at the entrance for a while before walking into the dark room, then tiptoed in and quietly closed the door behind him.
As he’d expected, Kyouya had arrived early to look after Shiki. He was sitting by the window, drinking alone. Moonlight streamed in from outside, casting his blurry silhouette. He was just about to lift the glass in his hand when he noticed the visitor at the door. The moonlight caught the smile on Kyouya’s lips, making his expression gentler than ever.
Even though he was supposed to be looking after the students, Kyouya still hadn’t forgotten to have a drink. Just like always.
Mudano entered the room and walked toward Kyouya. He could hear Shiki sleeping quietly in the room. His breaths were rising and falling, then growing louder, then softer, as he drew near and passed by. He was glad that he slept so well.
As he walked past Shiki, Mudano paused for a moment, turned his head to look at the sleeping child in the dimness, and then kept walking straight ahead.
“Danocchi, there you are. I’ve been waiting for so long.”
“Kyouya, you are as thoughtful as always.”
“Isn’t there a saying that goes ‘A wily hare has three burrows’? Guess that’s just like me.”
Kyouya set down his glass and smiled. Glancing at Shiki, he lowered his voice carefully. Mudano walked over to him, pulled out the chair across from him, and then sat down quietly. The window was open, and as soon as he took his seat, a cool breeze drifted in from outside, slipping down his collar.
"Would you like to have a drink too?"
“No, thanks.”
"I knew you'd say that. Though, I only prepared one glass for myself."
Kyouya offered the drink out of habit, but when Mudano refused, he didn’t look disappointed. Instead, he lifted his glass and took another sip, then turned to gaze out the window at the completely dark night.
The night wind drifted in silently, and dim moonlight spilled onto the floor. Normally chatty, Kyouya stared intently at the night outside the window, showing no sign of speaking. He drained his glass quietly under the moonlight, then picked up the bottle to refill it. He did this over and over, without a word. Mudano watched him drinking alone, not knowing what to say for a moment.
Ordinarily, there’d be a million things to say between people who haven’t met for a long time, but so many unexpected things had happened over the past day that their joy at reuniting after so long was completely ruined.
Mudano glanced down at the table. Kyouya was right. There really was only one glass. Then he suddenly wondered: If that’s the case, why bother getting a glass at all?
Hearing the sound of running water, Mudano began to smell an even stronger scent of alcohol: sharp and harsh. Right away, he knew it was that high-proof stuff again. Kyouya liked to prepare liquor for himself after work. It was a habit he’d picked up over years on the job.
Several minutes past, neither of them had said a word. In the silence, Kyouya refilled his glass again, drained it in one gulp, and finally set the glass down on the table, seemingly not planning to pour another for the moment. The glass landed on the small wooden table with a soft clink.
Even with nothing to say, Mudano kept watching at him all along. When Kyouya tilted his head back to drink, he spotted a faint scratch on his neck. He knew it was a scar left by the Tsubakiri.
Kyouya usually healed fast, and, by now, that mark should’ve been completely gone. But there it was. The scar sprawled across his neck like a ravenous beast, which was unyielding, still recovering slowly, as if silently staking its claim.
The scar writhed slightly as Kyouya swallowed. Mudano watched it quietly, then it soon vanished back into the shadows. Maybe by dawn, it’ll completely disappear, he then thought.
Kyouya leaned back heavily against the chair, then stretched one arm out along the edge of the chair. He glanced across at Mudano first, then turned his head to look at Shiki. That movement pulled the scar from the shadows again, and it looked like a monster lurking in the dark suddenly emerged.
Then, someone finally spoke up. It was Kyouya. He started talking about what had happened not long before.
“Can’t believe that you got played by that distraction tactic, Danocchi. But thank god, the students are all okay. Still, for Shiki, first internship and he almost dies? Hard to say if it’s lucky to be alive or just unlucky to go through this.”
"Shiki is special, gotta have some grit like that."
"Yeah, that makes sense. But let’s be real, you were most worried about him, weren’t you? After all, few kids like him live to see adulthood. They die before they’ve figured out anything, even before they’ve really lived."
Even though they’d survived yet another brush with death to see the dawn, it was a topic they could never outrun. Death hung over them like the Sword of Damocles, every waking moment. It was a fate they might face every single day.
For most ordinary people, though, dying young was just their fate. It was a predicament everyone faced, and also one of the saddest part of the war. War’s outcomes are always built on a pile of deaths. But Mudano had never liked seeing young lives fade away in front of him, for it constantly reminded him of flowers crushed underfoot before they’d even had a chance to bloom.
Kyouya turned his face back. Perhaps it was Mudano’s prolonged silence that made him realize the change in atmosphere. Fixing his gaze on him, Kyouya reached for his glass again.
The moment Mudano noticed his movement, he suddenly reached out and snatched the small glass before he could. Kyouya almost jumped up at that unexpected move, his hand freezing mid-air. He stared at him, a look of surprise spreading across his face.
"What’s going on? You said you weren’t drinking tonight, didn’t you?"
"You have just recovered. Don’t drink so much."
"Ah, that’s weird. When did you get so nosey? Is it because you finally got students again? Daddy mode kicking in, huh?"
Teasing as he spoke, Kyouya still reached over, trying to take his glass back from his hand. It wouldn’t be hard. He had always knew full well that no matter how strong he was, Mudano had no chance to show that strength to him. And he was certain that he wouldn’t turn him down.
Kyouya found his glass in an instant. Holding it tightly, he tried to pull it out from his grasp.
"I said don’t drink so much, Kyouya."
"Come on, just a little bit. I promise.”
Mudano’s tone was firm as he gripped the glass tightly in his hand, refusing to give an inch. Kyouya grumbled softly, still trying to get his glass back. But maybe he was already a little drunk, he just couldn’t match the strength of a sober man.
Giving up, Kyouya shot him a glare before glancing over at the wine bottle. He stared at it for a few seconds, then grabbed it in the blink of an eye.
“There we go.”
He took a sip, glancing over at Mudano with a hint of triumph. But the bottle was snatched right out of his hand the next second.
It all happened so suddenly that Kyouya seemed to be shocked. Mudano glanced at him, then took a big gulp without hesitation. Before setting the glass bottle down, he weighed it in his hand, seemingly confirming it was empty before placing it gently back on the table.
"What’s the matter with you today?"
“We can’t have Shiki seeing you drunk when he wakes up.”
"I’d never get drunk during my work time. You’re just overthinking again, Danocchi."
"How’s Shiki recovering?"
"He's recovering well, though I'm still a little worried. Physically, he's getting better fast, but mentally, he may suffer a great impact. That's what really troubles me."
Mudano didn’t respond, and Kyouya went on, looking over at Shiki.
“He must miss his dad a lot. After all, before he met you, he always thought he was an ordinary person and lived his life as one. Now everything’s changed.”
"I’ll find a way to handle the psychological stuff. That’s what the school is here for."
"Yeah, I know. That approach was very effective for you, Danocchi."
Without a word, they both turned to look out the window. In the distance, a faint glow appeared over the horizon, as if the sun was about to rise.
"So, this is the plan you were talking about earlier? Telling the students to run while you nearly got yourself killed? If you hadn’t made it, the kids would probably be in trouble right now too."
They stood close together by the window, facing the direction of the horizon. In the dimness, Kyouya stared at Mudano, only to find that his expression blurred. He sighed.
"The kids are the future. As for me, I have told you before, there’s always a way."
"That decision was far too reckless, Kyouya."
"Well, I’m doctor Kyouya, and as long as I’m here, no one’s going to die easily. Have you forgotten?"
"When you say 'no one,' don’t you mean yourself too?"
"But I’m an adult too, and adults have a duty to protect kids, right? Besides, no matter what, I have to keep your students safe. I can’t just let them die like this."
Mudano was silent again. As Kyouya spoke, he reached out and touched his tattooed face, pressing close to him as he went on in a soft voice, almost whispering.
"You haven’t taken on new students for so long. Now that you’ve finally found these kids, you must have had to make a big decision, didn’t you? I don’t want you to feel guilty about their death. Every time I see that look on your face when you’re facing death, it almost tears me apart. But that pain is yours. I can’t take even a little bit of it away for you."
After hearing his words, Mudano closed his eyes, leaned gently against Kyouya, and let out a soft sigh.
"More than them, I can’t bear the thought of losing you. War always brings death, but your death was never part of my plan. Besides, if you’d died there, it would have been meaningless for me bringing the kids to see you."
Kyouya tried to pull his hand back, but Mudano caught it quietly and pressed it gently against his cheek once more.
After a long while, Kyouya finally spoke in a low voice. This time, he let him hold his hand willingly, no longer trying to pull away.
"Is that so? Looks like I’ll have to try even harder to stay alive. You know, I’m quite popular with them, aren’t I?"
Suddenly, a bird’s cry burst forth from the night. Dawn must be coming soon.
"How about coming to work at the school once things settle down here?"
Kyouya seemed a little surprised. By the faint glow on the horizon, Mudano could clearly see the look of surprise on his face. It soon faded quickly, and turned to be his usual gentle smile. Even so, he didn’t reply right away. Instead, he fell silent for a long while before finally speaking up.
"Go back to the school and be a teacher, just like you? That hardly seems like something you’d say. If Masumi heard this, he’d definitely tease you and say, 'You’ve really changed a lot, you know?'"
Mudano looked at him and in that moment, he thought they both likely recalled the scene when they graduated and felt uncertain about their futures. As they were about to part, Kyouya smiled brightly. While exchanging the farewell remarks, he hugged the two of them so tightly. Yet neither made any move to pull away.
Perhaps they all knew that after the separation, it was unclear if they’d ever get to meet each other again. He wasn’t sure if Masumi felt the same way, but he was probably just like him.
Ordinary lives have never held any privilege on the battlefield. No matter how deeply love or be loved, people can only steal one last lingering glance at each other during those rare, fortunate reunions that inevitably end in farewell. Then they have to separate once more, each going for their own missions.
They both knew this better than anyone else.
“Kyouya, come back to me.”
“…Just like we did during the school days? But back then, we’d never got through a real battlefield. We were just too young, so young that we thought even if we went to war, we could still stay together, right?”
As he spoke, though, Kyouya let out a deep sigh. These words seemed to make him feel a little cold, and, watching him huddle slightly, Mudano reached over and took his hands in his.
"That’s not the case."
"Ah, by the way, it’s been a while since we last met. Every time I see you, you seem more and more like an ordinary person. But, that’s a good thing for me, you know. I’m the kind of person who doesn’t have a tomorrow, watching people died one by one right in front of me since our graduation. I don’t even know when or where I’ll meet my end. All I can do is keep saving lives, to let as few people as possible die on my watch. The morning sun is such a precious thing for them, and that’s the only thing I can think about."
"Then aren’t we welcoming tomorrow’s morning sun right now?"
"Even so, we’re just merely surviving on borrowed time. You’re really terrible, you know? Always making me say the things you want to hear. To be honest, if I hadn’t been lucky, I really would have died this time and probably wouldn’t even have gotten the chance to see you one last time. The fate was so kind to me. Being able to see the morning sun again is truly wonderful."
By the end of his words, Kyouya smiled, his tone light and cheerful.
“Kyouya.”
“Yes?”
After a moment of silence, Mudano called him by his name. Kyouya turned his head slightly, confused, and saw his face, so close at hand.
Kyouya got flustered all of a sudden, as if anticipating what was about to happen next and quickly pulled his hand away, trying to stop him.
Mudano gripped his wrists tightly. Kyoya frowned, yet smiled, somewhat sadly. He began to kiss the palms of his hands gently, but that smile made him feel unsettled.
"I do remember, Danocchi. Even if the end is hell, I’ll be right there with you, right? I told you that before. Back then, I really wanted to share some of your pain, but now I realize I simply can’t. You’ve grown so strong, while I’m still just someone who could die at any moment. You used to wonder the same thing, didn’t you? In the end, all I’ll leave you with is just my death, which goes against everything I originally wanted."
"Then I also said this: if one grows strong enough, he won’t die."
Hearing this, Kyouya smiled again. He wanted to pull his hand back, but it was held by Mudano tightly, so he wrapped his free arm around him instead.
"Hmm, that’s right. There was such a thing. Though, I don’t think I’m strong enough. The reason why I never wanted to come back to you is my life or death was never part of some plan. It’s just something that will come sooner or later, like the sunrise every day. How can I promise that I won’t die in front of you?"
They were so close to each other, that Mudano could catch the scent of alcohol on Kyouya. His words brought about terrible visions of their separation, and as a sharp pain welled up in his chest, he realized his body had gone rigid.
Mudano let his arms hang down at his sides, closed his eyes, and rested his head on his shoulder, unable to reach out and hug him back.
"I know you’re thinking about keeping an eye on Shiki, so there is no need to worry about anything else. If you come back, I’ll be right here."
"Oh, I see."
Kyouya said softly, his breath growing a little unsteady, brushing against Mudano’s neck. He listened to it quietly, waiting, but in the end, he still gave no answer.
Instead, a long birdcall rose above the horizon. Dawn broke, and they were no longer shrouded in darkness.
They pulled apart as if by unspoken agreement. Kyouya walked over to Shiki, sat down to check on him, leaving Mudano standing alone by the window.
"Look, we really got to see the sunrise. Another new day has come. Thank you so much for coming this time. You really helped a lot."
The early morning sunlight fell on Shiki’s face. He rolled over, and his eyelids moved slightly.
"He’s been sleeping so soundly. I wonder if he’s waking up by now."
Before Mudano could say something and respond, Shiki’s surprised voice rang out.
“Ah!”
“Good morning, Shiki.”
Hearing his voice, Kyouya smiled softly, having already slipped back into that work state as he greeted Shiki who would soon become his student.