Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Disclaimer:

I have neither read nor watched the entire series. All I saw was snippets online for season 3 and I hated how they, like most romance shows out there, made the main female character to be so utterly dull and passive. Isabel (Belly) Conklin has so much potential, but it was all siphoned to make way one dreadful relationship and another slightly less dreadful relationship. I don’t agree with how they wrote Belly, and in an attempt to breathe life back into her character, I rewrote some scenes in the show that I hope presents Belly as more of an active participant in her own life.

The scenes are written in chronological order just like the show. I’m not rewriting the whole script (because I’m not trained too), I’m just making some edits to steer the story better narratively. I don’t agree with the conflict the show went with of Conrad vs Jeremiah, the conflict should’ve been Belly vs Belly. Past Belly vs Present Belly.

***Past Belly chose Jeremiah, present Belly is having second thoughts.***

If any of the show writers are reading this, please oh please give some life back to Belly. She has so much character potential, please don’t reduce her to just Conrad’s girlfriend/Conrad’s first love/Conrad’s wife.

Also, this entire script re-edit is written from how I wished Belly was portrayed instead, any inconsistency with the show is because I didn’t watch it.
I just want better for Belly. She deserves a better story.

Chapter Text

[blah blah blah, I don’t know what they were talking about.]

Belly: … just promise you wouldn’t do it again.
Jeremiah: I promise.
[blah blah blah, skipping ahead to the proposal.]

Jeremiah pulled Belly closer to him, a faint smile flashing across his face. His eyes pierced into hers, and Belly felt a twang in the pit of her stomach. The way he looked into her eyes, the way his hands were tightening on her waist, Belly could more or less guess what he might say next. She hoped she was wrong, though.

Jeremiah: Isabel Conklin,
Belly: (thinking to herself) Don’t.
Jeremiah: …will you…

Belly pressed a tight smile on her face. She was silently praying to herself that Jeremiah was going to ask her for anything else. Ask her out for lunch. Ask her to tag along on a camping trip. Ask her if she would straighten his hair for him. Anything except for…
Jeremiah: …marry me?

Her mind drew a blank. This wasn’t the proposal she had in mind; in fact, being proposed to had never even occurred to her. Especially not when her brother had just come out after a serious accident a few hours ago. And not when they barely got over his cheating. But here Jeremiah stands, with a sincere look on his face, asking for her hand.

Jeremiah: Belly?

Quick fact check: she has forgiven Jeremiah for his indiscretion, and they are currently in a relationship again. So, why not? Right?

Belly: (tight smile) …yes (brighter smile) yes!

Diving in for the kiss, Jeremiah picked Belly up and twirled her around. Her answer was the best melody he had ever heard. Not only are they back together, but this time it’s forever.

Chapter Text

*** As I’m only going to be editing (and including) scenes that I wished the show went with, and not rewriting the whole script, please keep this number one, biggest, first change I would have made in mind. Belly and Jeremiah are romantically reserved. Aside from the quick pecks and holding their hands behind chairs and under tables, they are perceived to be more like best friends.

They spend a lot of time laughing and joking with each other, but when it comes to the romance part, they’re very much reserved, especially compared to how Belly was behaving when she was with Conrad.
When Conrad comes back, suddenly, there’s this unspoken pressure between them. More on Belly than Jeremiah. Belly and Jeremiah's quick pecks and subtle hand holding turned into long kisses, full make-out sessions, and having constant physical touch with each other. She’s leaning onto him. He’s holding on to her.

From Jeremiah’s perspective, he feels like Belly is more in love with him than ever. He chalked it up to them being engaged, and he feels like the relationship is stronger than ever because she’s getting more comfortable with affection and intimacy with him.

From Belly’s perspective, she feels that she has something to prove to herself. At this point in the story, Belly doesn’t even allow herself to think of Conrad. But sometimes, she has flashbacks to their relationship. Those flashbacks slowly became fleeting memories that seemed like it was just part of her imagination as time went on, but when she saw Conrad again, Belly was very aware that those memories were real, and they weren’t just in her head. So now, she feels slight guilt towards Jeremiah for not being as affectionate with him as she was with Conrad, and Belly feels like it’s her job to make things up to him by being overtly affectionate when Conrad’s around.

From Conrad’s perspective, they just look like a happy couple. ***

Also, because I’m only focusing on Belly’s character, and by extension Conrad and Jeremiah’s, the rest of the characters will just be reduced to their relationship with the three of them (except Benito, later in Paris).

Chapter Text

[His father talking down on Jeremiah, Belly is trying to reassure him.]

Belly sees how forlorn Jeremiah is. Who wouldn’t be when their parent is constantly using them as the butt of a joke? She doesn’t know what to say in this moment to cheer Jeremiah up, but she hopes that she can make his father shut up, or at least have him move the conversation away from Jeremiah’s admittedly stupid mistake.

Belly: Actually, Jeremiah has plans for the future. Big ones.
J’s father: Oh, really? What plans?

Belly’s mind blanked out again. Maybe she shouldn’t have spoken up. Now she’s stuck in this awkward moment too. Slumming back into her seat, Jeremiah held her hands, trying to reassure her that he was fine. Their little moment, though quick and subtle, wasn’t going unseen by the people at the table. More specifically, by the one person sitting at the end of the long table, sipping on his drink in an attempt to calm his frayed nerves.

J’s father: (mockingly) So? What plans does my super senior have? (jeers) Besides another semester.
Gathering his courage, Jeremiah took a deep breath and spoke up to his father.
Jeremiah: No, Dad. It’s not another semester.
Jeremiah: (holding Belly’s hand tighter) Belly and I… we have plans together.

Glancing at Jeremiah, she saw the resolve in his eyes. She knew what he was going to say. Belly didn’t want to announce their engagement at this lunch, it wasn't appropriate. But, if it would help Jeremiah feel better, what was the harm? After all, it was both their plans, wasn’t it?

Jeremiah: (excitedly) We’re engaged!

The table went silent. Looks of surprise were etched on everyone’s faces. They were trying to process what they had heard, thinking maybe it was a joke. But Jeremiah sat up tall, proudly putting their intertwined hands on the table, showing everyone that he meant every word he said. Belly’s heart was beating so hard she thought it was going to burst out of her chest. Jeremiah beamed brightly, moving his thumb across Belly’s hand in reassurance. She held his hand tightly too, and right when Jeremiah looked away, Belly snuck a quick look across the table. She couldn’t get a read from his face, but how could she? She merely glanced at him for one-tenth of a second before her mum spoke up.

B’s mum: You’re kidding… right?
Belly: No?

A string of arguments ensued. Loads of name-calling, shaming, and insults were hurled at Belly and Jeremiah, or at least that was how she perceived it. The tension at the table was rising fast, and Belly needed to go. Grabbing Jeremiah’s hands, the two stood up and stormed off. Belly realises that the engagement must be a surprise to everyone, after all, it surprised her too. But she has been in a relationship with Jeremiah for 4 years. What did everyone think was going to happen?

Holding his hands at the car park, Belly tried to reassure Jeremiah that everything was going to be fine when her mother marched out of the restaurant and coldly told her to go to the car. Walking away reluctantly, Belly hoped his father wouldn’t be too harsh on him for their announcement. Everyone cleared out of the car park swiftly, except for one singular soul. He stood dazed in the middle of the empty car park, scrambling to make sense of what had just happened.

Chapter Text

[New scenes, not in the show] [An AU, if you will.]

Jeremiah has headed off to Boston for his internship, and Belly is once again stuck dealing with the rest of the wedding planning. The wedding planning has gone entirely opposite of what Belly expected. Not only is her groom-to-be constantly flaking on her, their small, intimate wedding with just their families and closest friends has now turned into a corporate networking event for Jeremiah’s father. Belly should be angrier. She should be more frustrated that nothing about her wedding is going her way, but that’s not the case. Belly thought she’d throw a bigger tantrum, fought for things to be done her way, but all she felt was… nothing.

She was glad that the father and son were trying to work out their issues, but other than that, when Jeremiah informed her about the change in the wedding location, Belly’s mind was simply blank. Maybe it was because she was shocked by the sudden change, but really, it was because she didn’t feel anything. There was nothing in her that wanted to fight for the wedding. In fact, she was actually kind of relieved she didn’t have to deal with wedding planning anymore. Sort of.

Staring at the piles of paper and receipts carelessly tossed across the dining table, Belly cheered herself on silently and prepared herself for the next few hours of dealing with the wedding vendors. She didn’t have to deal with the wedding planning anymore, but Belly thought it would be kind to help and cancel and update the vendors since she already has all their contact information. One by one, Belly made the calls, lamenting internally at how tedious this all was. Is a wedding planning supposed to be met with this much dread?

Finally, after a few long, slow hours, Belly was down to her last call of the day. One more update, and she never has to deal with the wedding again until the day itself, plus rehearsal.

Belly: Hi, is this the bakery?
Bakery: Yes, how may I assist you?
Belly: I’d like to change the wedding cake delivery for the Fisher-Conklin wedding from the beach house to the country club.
Bakery: Alright, can I get your order confirmation number?
Belly: Sure.

Belly fumbled around the table, trying to get the receipt out from under the pile of papers she had casually strewn around.

Belly: It’s 654321.
Bakery: Okay. Just to confirm, you’re asking order 654321 to be delivered to the country club instead of the beach house, yes?
Belly: (slightly absent-mindedly) Yes, the one-tier chocolate raspberry coulis cake to the country club.
Bakery: The one-tier?
Belly: (a little checked out) Yes, the one-tier.
Bakery: I’m sorry, miss, it says here that order 654321 is a two-tier chocolate raspberry coulis cake.
Belly: (surprised) What?
Belly: (confused) No, the order I put in was a one-tier cake.
Bakery: Okay, please hold while I check the order again.

Belly’s heart started pounding. She had somehow managed to finish the logistics of her wedding herself, and this was the final phone call she had to make before she could hand off her wedding to the planner. Running her hands through her hair impatiently, Belly just wants this task to be completed right now.

Bakery: Hello?
Belly: (slight annoyance) Yes?
Bakery: I just checked our order history, and it says here that the cake for the Fisher-Conklin wedding is a two-tier chocolate raspberry coulis cake.
Belly: (annoyed, a little defensively) No. No, it must be a mistake. I ordered a one-tier, just one, one-tier chocolate raspberry whatever cake. Just one. One-tier.
Bakery: Yes, miss, that was the original order. Now it’s a two-tier cake.
Belly: (confused) Original?
Bakery: Yes.
Belly: Someone changed the order?

Her heart sank. She didn’t have to ask; she already knows who changed it. She can’t believe this is becoming yet another don’t ask, don’t tell situation. The question is, how many more of these situations can Belly take?

Belly: (voice dropped to a mere whisper) Do you know, changed it?
Bakery: It’s not on record, but if I recall, it was your fiancé. I think he said something about wanting to surprise you.
Belly: Surprise me?
Belly: Did he say anything else when he changed the order?
Bakery: Not that I recall. He just called to change the order and then came down to pay.
Belly: He did?
Bakery: Yes, that’s why the order changed.
Belly: (blankly, withholding tears in her eyes) Did he pay in cash?
Bakery: Yes, he did.
Belly: Okay, thank you.

Hanging up the phone call, images of her and Jeremiah’s relationship flooded her mind. She saw how happy they were together. She saw the smiles etched on her face every time he cracked a joke. How excited she was every time he invited her out. She also remembers the distance he would put between them when he was with his friends, and whenever they were at a party. It made her feel alone, much like how she felt when she overheard his indiscretion. That girl was bragging about it so casually, giggling over how hot her boyfriend was, how fantastic the sex was, Belly never thought to ask Jeremiah what he said about their relationship when he slept with her at Cabo.

She remembers the smile on his face when she accepted his proposal. How his hands covered hers at lunch. It really did feel good in that moment. It felt like they were a team again. Belly remembers melting into Jeremiah's arms, comforted by his assurance to plan parts of the wedding too. The immense relief she felt when he asked for her wedding spreadsheet, she thought he finally wanted to share some of her burdens. Turns out that was all in her head. This was what he meant by “help take care of the planning.”

Suddenly, the quiet house felt deafening to her. Belly needs to leave. Slamming her laptop shut, she made a mad dash to the door and ran out to the beach. She needed to be anywhere but the kitchen, where the remnants of the wedding plans splayed across the table.

Chapter Text

[New scenes, not in the show] [An AU, if you will.]

That slam shook the entire beach house. Conrad’s head snapped up immediately in alarm. At first, he thought it might have been the wind, but something tells him otherwise. Glancing at the door, he decided to head downstairs to make sure that everything is alright.

In the kitchen, everything was still. Except for the piles of paper on the dining table, nothing seemed to be out of place. Inching closer to the dining table, numbness filled him as he realised that those were for Belly and Jeremiah’s wedding. Conrad has been trying to stay as far away as he could for the wedding, but sometimes it’s just inevitable when they’re all staying under the same roof. Conrad was about to head back up to his room when a realisation dawned on him. Her laptop is here, her bicycle is still out on the porch, but where was Belly?

Conrad called out for Belly. No response. Moving to the living room, he called out her name once more. Still no response. Confused, he looked around the room again, trying to find hints on what may have happened or what could’ve caused the loud slam when he saw that the front door was slightly ajar. Opening the door, Conrad looked out into the porch and back into the house. No sign of her.

Where did Belly go?

[Scene cut]
Grey. That was what she was seeing. No colours, no vibrance, just the colour grey. Belly blankly stared out into the ocean. There were so many things running through her mind that they all blurred together, and all she could think of was nothing. There’s nothing. She felt nothing. Right now, Belly just feels like she’s floating in a void, suspended between herself and someone else that looks like her.

Conrad: Belly? Belly!

Still in a daze, Belly couldn’t hear someone calling out her name until she felt a warm hand on her shoulder.

Conrad: Belly? Are you alright?

Looking up into his blue eyes, she could barely register that Conrad was standing in front of her.

Belly: (flatly) Oh, hey.
Conrad: Are you alright?
Belly: Mmmm.

Hearing her response, Conrad didn’t know what to do. There were so many things he wanted to ask her. He wanted to ask her what the loud slam was, why she’s out at the chilly beach by herself, why she looks so tired, why she... There were so many things he wanted to ask her, but he couldn’t figure out how.

Conrad: We should head back inside. The wind is strong today…might catch a cold.
Belly: (flatly) Mmm, in a while.
Conrad: (cautiously) Are you okay?
Belly: (blankly gazing out into the sea, half-mindedly) Why wouldn’t I be? I’m planning my wedding… time of my life.
Conrad: So why are you at the beach by yourself?
He probably didn’t mean anything by it, but Belly heard it. It was subtle, but the sliver of sarcasm in his voice, Belly heard it. That got her attention.

Belly: (defensively) Why are you here?
Sprinting up to her feet, Belly marched right up to him. They were eye-to-eye. Nose to nose.

Conrad: I-
Belly: (passive-aggressively) Why are you at the beach by yourself?
Conrad: (stuttering) I heard a loud slam, and I wanted to check if things were alright. I came downstairs and I didn’t see anyone, and the door was open…I just wanted to know if you’re alright, if you’re okay.

She didn’t want to admit it, but a part of Belly was comforted by the care and concern in his voice. She was indeed a little touched that Conrad cared enough about her to run up and down a windy beach, with storm clouds rolling in, but more than that, just right now, just in this moment, it just irked her. He irks her.

Belly: (annoyedly) Why wouldn’t I be okay? What? I can’t come to the beach by myself anymore?
Conrad is taken aback. He doesn’t know why Belly is getting so defensive. She’s scaring him a little, but not too much that he’s going to leave her alone on the beach. The wind is picking up; he just wants to get her inside.
Conrad: Belly, I think a storm is headed our way. We should go back inside.
Belly: (stepping away, heading back towards the bench) You go first. I’ll head back in a little bit.

Belly slumped back onto the bench, gazing out into the grey skies and choppy seas. How fitting. As if it's not bad enough her groom's brother is out pestering her, now her favourite beach is mocking her too. Conrad retreated just a few steps behind her, deciding that he was only going to move if she moved. Just like that, the two of them stayed at the beach. Conrad looked out into the ocean. It’s grey for him too.

Belly can feel his presence behind her. She doesn’t know why he’s here. She wants to ask, but she doesn’t know how. She wants to know whether he was busy. Whether he had more important things he had to deal with. She wants to know why he isn’t heading back when it’s clear the first drop of rain is going to fall at any second. She wants to know why he’s choosing to stand behind her instead of taking a seat next to her. She wants to know if he knew about the change to the wedding cake. Could he have known? Did Jeremiah tell him that he was going to change the order? But why would Conrad have known that? He was in the car with her when she made the call to Jeremiah, he's the one who suggested one-tier as a compromise. Why was it him who was with her that day anyway? Why couldn’t her fiancé be with her that day?

Thousands of thoughts zipped through her mind, and tears started falling from her eyes unknowingly. It wasn’t until a soft voice called out her name that she realised her face was drenched in tears.
Conrad: Belly?
Belly: (sniffling) Yeah?
Conrad: Belly, what’s wrong?
Belly: Nothing. Everything’s fine.
Conrad: Belly…
Belly: I’m serious. Everything…everything is fine.
Conrad: So why are you crying?

Turning her head around, Belly looked Conrad in the eyes. Her chest was numb. She couldn’t feel her heart beating anymore. She had so many things she wanted to ask, to say to him, but she didn’t know where to begin. So, she decided not to.
Belly: …can you not come to the wedding?
Conrad: (stunned) What?
Belly: Can you not come?
Conrad: (confused) Why?

Why? Why indeed. Belly didn’t know either. She doesn’t know anything. She’s still reeling from the information about the cake change, and now she’s feeling so many things at once that she doesn’t know where she should begin to unpack. She looked him in his eyes once more and decided to head back to the beach house.

Belly: Never mind. (wiping her tears) I’m going to head back in. It’s cold.

Without looking back, Belly walked towards the house, each footstep heavier than the one before. She is running through all possible scenarios of what may happen next when she sees Jeremiah again. Belly can feel the imminent dread of a big fight coming.

Chapter Text

[New scenes, not in the show] [Happens after Jeremiah comes back from work and at the end of their small talk.]

Belly: (apprehensive) Jere, I want to ask you something.
Jeremiah: Yeah?
Belly: Is there anything you want to tell me?
Jeremiah: Tell you?
Belly: About the wedding?
Jeremiah: (confused, awkwardly smiles, attempting to redirect conversation) …about how excited I am to marry you? Because I am.
Belly: Mmm, so there’s nothing el…
Jeremiah: (cuts off) Look, I know you’ve been stressed with the wedding, and I am sorry that I couldn’t spend more time with you for it. But now the planning is officially out of your hands, so now… (flirtatiously) we have more time to do other things…

Jeremiah leaned in close for a kiss, and before she could completely move her head away, his lips landed on her cheek. She could feel a small smile on his face, and in that moment, Belly realised that Jeremiah was never going to tell her about the cake. Just like how he didn't tell her about the change in the wedding location. And the house. And the credit card. And spring break.
Jeremiah: Shall we head upstairs?
Belly: (defeated, a forced smile on her face) Yeah, I’ll head up in a bit.
Jeremiah: Okay. I’ll see you there later.

And there he went, hopping up the stairs without a care in the world. The ocean that Belly was staring out into earlier, she feels like she’s in it. The waves are crashing and pulling her under; she’s drowning in her own head. A loud sigh escaped her, and just when she collected herself and was about to head upstairs, she caught a reflection in the mirror. She inched closer to the mirror, staring intently at it. There was a person standing in the mirror, but she couldn’t quite recognise her. Her eyes look so empty, and she looks so tired. Perhaps this was the doing of the gloomy weather. Belly was already tired from calling all the vendors, coupled with the grey skies, it’s no wonder she feels drained. One deep breath in and out. Then two. Then three. A quick thought flashed in her mind, a thought Belly probably shouldn’t pay much attention to. Because if she does… how many brides feel dread the closer they are to their supposed happily-ever-after?

Chapter Text

Background before the beach confession:
[New scenes, not in the show] [After the Conrad edit in her head, Belly knows she has to cancel the wedding with Jeremiah.] [Also, I’m writing with the assumption that it’s Bachelorette party -> Wedding rehearsal -> Wedding Day, all in a 3-day period, so Belly only has 1.5 days to cancel.] [They should’ve never made it to the wedding day.]

The thoughts Belly have are weighing heavier and heavier as each second goes by. She came back early from her party, trying to make sense of what had just happened at the club. All these times, after all these years, she didn’t realise that Conrad still has such a hold over her. That even after what she has fooled herself into thinking for years, Conrad is still in her heart. For a while, Belly really thought that if she believed in something long enough, what’s false could become true. But just like how paper can’t wrap around fire, Belly can no longer hide her feelings anymore. Maybe she could if she gave up alcohol for life, but that’s not going to happen. Especially because, as of right now, Belly needs a potent punch of liquid courage.

Belly paced nervously around the room as she was drafting and redrafting her words inside her head. How can she express her feelings without hurting Jeremiah? How is she supposed to tell him that she still loves his brother? Should she even tell him that? Their relationship is already strained; why give them more ammunition? How is she supposed to cancel the wedding now when it is less than 36 hours away? After Belly and Jeremiah risked everything to get everyone on board too? How is she supposed to do anything right now? The walls started caving in the more Belly spiraled, and right at the moment she thought she was going to have a stress-induced heart attack, the door opened.

Running towards the door, Belly thought that as long as she saw Jeremiah’s face, no matter what happens, no matter how she can’t find her words and no matter how much she doesn’t make sense, once she sees him again, she’ll figure it out. However, seeing as his friends had to carry him into the house, each carrying one of his limbs, maybe this night wasn’t the best time to cancel. Belly hurriedly ushered his friends up to Jeremiah’s room before she felt her chest tightening again. She had to get out of here.

Re-edit:
[Same confession scene, new dialogues] [Belly has already made up her mind to cancel the wedding. From her POV, she’s currently stressing on how to cancel the wedding and not have the wedding rehearsal at all.] [There is no more Belly and Jeremiah by this point. Don’t “surprise” the audience like PLL did with “A”. There is no new “A”. There is no “new ending”. Stick to the proper story development.]

The sea breeze always calmed her down. It’s cool and refreshing. Standing on the beach, her feet buried in the same, feeling each tiny grain of sand slide in between her toes, she feels like she can finally breathe again. That’s what Belly loved most about the beach. No matter how high her head is in the clouds, how far she’s in her head, the beach always grounds her, reminding her that her problems are almost always nothing, much like the minuscule particles of sand she’s standing on. Things might get a little messy, but there’s nothing a quick run to the vast ocean can’t fix. Closing her eyes and taking slow, deep breaths in, the heavy weight sitting on her shoulders is slowly lifting away. 

Conrad: Belly?
Turning her head around, Belly sees a silhouette of a man sitting on the steps at the lifeguard tower.
Belly: Conrad?
Conrad: What are you doing here?

Not wanting to reveal the truth, Belly tried her best to come up with a neutral answer, one that doesn’t invite questions. But with the alcohol settling in her system, all she could manage was an incoherent stutter.

Belly: Uhhh… sea breeze. It feels good…relaxing…
Conrad: (flatlty) Mmm…
Belly: Uhhh…what are you doing here? Aren’t the rest of the groom’s party back at the house?
Conrad: Yeah, it’s just hectic in there. I wanted to catch my breath too.
Belly: Mmm…
Conrad: Did Jeremiah get in okay?
Belly: Yeah, they had to carry him up to his room. I should’ve predicted that, you know? That Jere is going to come back drunk as a lord. It’s his thing. His brand.

Conrad watched as the girl in front of him tripped and stumbled over her words. Her hair is flying in the wind, and for a moment, just a split second, Conrad sees glimpses of Belly as a child. She looked just like a sweet, innocent little girl excited for her big day. The glint in her eyes shone like it did on her 10th birthday. And on her elementary school graduation. And on the day he gave her the glass unicorn. The things he wanted to tell her, the words he wanted to say, it all got stuck in his throat. Conrad knew if he said what he wanted to say, her whole world would change. Belly likes to believe in the good in others. She likes to see the good in others. No matter what happens, Belly always wears a smile on her face, shining like a lighthouse in the middle of a dark ocean. She has always been the lightest thing in Conrad’s life, which was why, when his world descended into darkness, he shut her out.

It wasn’t because he didn’t trust her to stay with him; it’s because someone this light, this pure, shouldn’t be dragged down an endless, dark, bottomless pit with him. It’d be best for her to find someone who can amplify her light and not dim it. But after what he had heard tonight, maybe, just maybe, Conrad had it wrong. Instead of hoping and wishing that someone else will know how to cherish her lightness, maybe he could do it instead.

Conrad: (slight hesitation) Belly… there’s something I need to tell you.
Belly: What?
Conrad: Jere…Jeremiah cheated on you.

And everything stopped. If the cold breeze and cool sand hadn’t snapped Belly out of her barely controlled internal frenzy, this would do it.

Belly: …what?
Conrad: I overheard him talking about it to his friends tonight. I’m so sorry, Belly.

Still dazed, Belly isn’t quite sure what she should say next. This wasn’t a conversation she was planning on having tonight, much less with Conrad.

Conrad: Belly?
Belly: …mmm?
Conrad: Are you alright?

Was this a joke? As if it wasn’t bad enough that Belly was beating herself up for trying to figure out how to tell Jeremiah about cancelling the wedding, now she has to figure out what to say to his older brother too? Why was Jeremiah talking about his affair at his bachelor party anyway? Now what was Belly to say?

Belly: Umm…
Conrad: Belly, I’m so sorry you have to find out like this. If there’s anything I can –
Belly: (softly) …I know.
Conrad: What?
Belly: (slightly louder, calmly) I know. About Jeremiah. I know.
Conrad: You what?

Belly had hoped that Conrad would just drop this topic of conversation after her admittance. Afterall, Jeremiah’s cheating has got nothing to do with him, and if Conrad is just telling her this to clear his conscience, then consider it cleansed. Right?

Conrad: (shocked) You knew about his cheating and you’re still going to marry him?
Great, another curveball. Belly wished for answers to appear from the sky so she wouldn’t have to look for them in her muddled brain, but more than that, Belly would also much rather the ground open and swallow her up. Technically, she isn’t going to marry Jeremiah anymore, but how could she tell Conrad that when her groom is knocked out in his room, still very much unaware?

Belly: (firmly) Yes.
Conrad: Why?
Belly: …because he’s my best friend and I..he loves me. And so do (coughs) I.
Conrad: He loves you?
Belly: Yes.
Conrad: He loves you, and he cheated on you?
Belly: I –

Looking away in annoyance, Belly wonders if it’ll look bad on her to just dash back to the beach house.

Conrad: Belly, who are you?
Belly: (exasperatedly) What?
Conrad: The Belly I know would’ve never let this slide.
Belly: (annoyed) What Belly you know? We barely talked in the last few years.
Conrad: Belly, I –

It’s go time. When Conrad stood up, presumably to climb down the lifeguard tower to talk to Belly, Belly took off. If she runs fast, and runs even faster, she can outrun this conversation and hopefully this seemingly never-ending night.

Conrad: (chasing after her) Belly, you’re having your wedding at a country club! Who are you?

Ignoring, ignoring. Belly needs to run faster. But why was Conrad so fast too?

Conrad: (slight desperation) Belly, wait!
Conrad: (increasing desperation) Wait!

She was almost there. Just a few metres more before she reaches the path that takes her straight home.

Conrad: (pure desperation) Belly! Belly, I love you!

 What did he just say?

Belly: (turns around, confused) What did you just say?
Conrad: I love you, Belly.

He cannot believe how light he feels right now. All these years of trying to keep his feelings under control, trying to not let it affect Belly, to not affect his brother, Conrad never knew that finally saying what he feels could make him feel so free. He sees Belly’s stunned expression, and he walks closer to her, hoping that this is the chance he’s been wishing for to let his feelings be known. However, to Belly, his sudden declaration of love is coming at a really bad time. Belly would be delighted to know that the man she has unknowingly pined for for years also feels the same way about her if she weren’t so unbelievably mad.

Belly: (firmly) Don’t.
Conrad: Belly…
Belly: (voice rising) Don’t.

The silence is loud. The distance between them is even louder. They’re not in the same place, and Belly can’t afford to be in the same place as Conrad.

Conrad: Belly, I love y-
Belly: No! Are you out of your mind? What – You –
Belly: (angrily) Now? Now?! Now is the best time to tell me this? I mean what’s wrong with you?
Conrad: I wanted to before, but I can’t –
Belly: Can’t what?
Conrad: I –
Belly: (furiously) What? What’s this? Some kind of weird rivalry with your brother? We’re getting married this weekend, and now you decide you love me again?
Conrad: No, it’s not again, it’s always! Don’t you know that?

Conrad reached his hand out to Belly, trying to convince her that his love for her never stopped. He tried to, he really did. For the last 4 years, he tried about everything under the sun to get Belly out of his system, but the opposite happened instead. For Conrad, it isn’t out of sight, out of mind. Belly’s absence just made his heart grow fonder.

Belly: (swiping his hand away) No!

Belly took a step back. She looked at Conrad standing so pitifully in front of her. She could see tears in his eyes and his lips quivering as he was trying to get her to listen to him, trying to get her to stay. But she can’t. Not right now. Not when she still supposedly has a wedding rehearsal to attend tomorrow afternoon.

Belly: (calmly, trying to hold back her tears) Just stop, Conrad. That’s enough. I don’t want to hear this. Not now. Not ever.

Turning on her heels, Belly walked towards the house without turning back. And Conrad is once again left alone, standing at the chilly beach.

Chapter Text

[New scenes, not in the show] [Belly is looking for Jeremiah first thing in the morning to talk to him, but Jeremiah is hungover.] [Conrad is also looking for Belly to “de-brief” on what happened last night.]

Belly: (softly knocks on door) Jere?

No answer. She gently pushed open the door and was instantly greeted by the smell of booze. And a treat for the eyes too, with Jeremiah half-dressed in last night’s attire slumming over his bed. Good thing the rehearsal isn’t in the morning.

Belly: (gently) Jere?

Jeremiah stirs in the bed, still sound asleep.

Belly: Jeremiah? It’s almost 10am. You need to wake up.

No movements.

Belly: Geez, how much did you drink last night?
Jeremiah: (sleepily) (gestures a number 2 with his hand) …just two drinks.
Belly: Yeah, right. Are you forgetting a zero at the back?

Jeremiah chuckled into his bed. He gradually pulled himself out of bed, leaning onto Belly, finding a way to be in her embrace.

Jeremiah: (sleepily) Good morning, my bride-to-be.
Belly: Your breath stinks. (small chuckle) Go wash up. I have… I have something I want to discuss with you.
Jeremiah: Mmm, okay…

Jeremiah slowly pulled himself out of the bed and stumbled his way out of the room. Looking at the state he’s in, Belly can’t help but wonder if there’s some part of Jeremiah that doesn’t want to go through with the wedding either. The rehearsal starts in a few hours, and he’s still drunk from last night. If this is what Jeremiah meant by taking things seriously… Belly really needs to talk to him.

Stumbling downstairs after his morning routine, Jeremiah planted a sloppy kiss on Belly’s lips. She tried to pull away once more, but his arms were already wrapped tightly around her.

Jeremiah: (slight smile) Hi.
Belly: Hey. Do you feel better?
Jeremiah: My head’s pounding and my stomach is… not sitting well. But other than that, perfect.
Belly: Is this how you want to attend the wedding rehearsal?
Jeremiah: No. (unwrapping himself from Belly) That’s why I’m going to head out to the pharmacy to grab some hangover pills, plus a big, greasy breakfast to soak everything up.
Belly: Are you sure you can do that on your own?
Jeremiah: Yes, I’m not a child.

Grabbing the keys, Jeremiah headed out the door.

Jeremiah: (kissy face) Bye.
Belly: (softly) Bye.

[Before Conrad talks to Belly, Belly talks to her friend first about what happened last night on the beach. It’s just to fill up the time Jeremiah needs before he comes back. Also, during Belly’s conversation with her friend, Belly doesn’t tell her about wanting to cancel the wedding. Only Belly knows about her own intention.]

Gathering his nerves before taking the last step down towards the kitchen, Conrad’s head was spinning a little. Last night was surreal. From the moment he spotted Belly on the beach, it was as if his brain short-circuited, and it took on a life of its own. He heard what he said, he felt what he said, and yet reality still hadn’t hit him until he found himself panicking on the stairs, trying to figure out a way to enter the kitchen without falling onto his knees, crying for her to take him back. He really shouldn’t be at the wedding.

Conrad: (awkwardly) Hey, Belly.
Belly: (coldly) Hi.
Conrad: (apprehensively) Listen, about last night… can you pretend that it never happened?

What did he just say?

Belly: (scoffs) Are you serious?
Conrad: Yes.

As if Belly wasn’t annoyed by Conrad’s terrible timing last night, now he just strolls into the kitchen, without a care in the world, asking her to forget what he said? So, what was last night about? What was she feeling so bad about? Why did she lose her sleep for? Why did she picture running to his – No, seriously, what’s happening?

Belly: (scoffs) You want me to forget about last night?
Conrad: (scrambling) I mean, you don’t really have to forget about last night if you don’t want –
Belly: What’s wrong with you?
Conrad: What?
Belly: (annoyed and angry) No, seriously, what’s wrong with you? Are you out of your mind? You just told me you love me yesterday, on the weekend of my wedding, and then today, you just want me to forget?
Conrad: I mean… I –
Belly: Do you think this is a joke?
Conrad: No, I –
Belly: Do you think I’m a joke?
Conrad: No, of course n-
Belly: Then what the hell are you asking me to do?
Conrad: I’m not asking you to do anything!
Belly: Not asking me to -
Conrad: (slight desperation) All I’m asking is for you to leave me with a little dignity…
Belly: (cuts in) Dignity? Why do I have to care about your dignity? Why?
Belly: So, I have to help you preserve your dignity, but you can play around with mine like it’s nothing?
Conrad: No… that’s not
Belly: (sarcastically) Hey! How about you don’t tell me anything? How about not putting your dignity at risk by telling me you love me last night out of nowhere –
Conrad: It’s not out of nowhere –
Belly: And then telling me to forget about it this morning?
Conrad: No, that’s not what I meant…
Belly: (shout in anger, emphasis on what) Then what?
Conrad:…
Belly: (angry and annoyed) Please! I’d love to know. You keep saying that’s not what you mean, so please, Conrad Fisher, you have the floor. Tell me exactly what you mean.

They stood on opposite sides of the room, tension rising high and fast. The two of them were so absorbed in their argument that they didn’t realise that someone had entered the next room.

Conrad: (pleadingly) I mean, I love you, Belly. I do.
Conrad: (inching closer towards Belly) I tried… I tried so hard for so long to get you out of my head, out of my heart, but I realised I just can’t.
Belly: (firmly) And?
Conrad: And?
Belly: And what do you want me to do about it?

He had an answer, he just couldn’t say it.

Belly: Do you expect me to cancel my wedding now? Because you love me? Am I supposed to drop everything and run away with you just because you love me?
Conrad: …
Belly: You know, you really are heartless.
Conrad: No. I think you’re the one who’s heartless.
Belly: Excuse me?
Conrad: Nothing.

Conrad tried to leave the room, but Belly grabbed him before he could.

Belly: No, stop that! Tell me exactly what you mean.
Conrad: Christmas.
Belly: (stunned) What?
Conrad: Do you still remember Christmas?
Belly: (softer)… what?
Conrad: Or the day we went to Michael’s, or when I cut my leg surfing?
Belly: …
Conrad: Are you really going to stand there and pretend it was nothing?
Belly: That was… that’s…

His blue eyes were right in front of hers. From the way he was looking at her, she knew he knew her answer. But she can’t do it. Not now. Not when she still hasn’t talked to Jeremiah, and not when she’s angry with him. Conrad isn’t the only one who knows Belly’s answer too. He can hear it from her silence, and he can see it with his own two eyes. He just can’t believe his fiancé and his own brother would do this to him on his wedding weekend. Before Belly answers, Jeremiah leaves the room.

Belly: (calmly)… that was nothing.
Conrad: Fine. Have it your way. I’m done pretending for you anymore.

Conrad left, and Belly found herself standing in the middle of an empty kitchen. How did things get like this? It feels like she’s approaching the end of the world with everything that is seemingly collapsing around her, but she knows this isn’t the end; it’s barely the beginning. And after all this, she still hadn’t had the chance to speak to Jeremiah. Where was he anyway?

[Belly texts Jeremiah, asking him if he’s okay and that she had something she wanted to tell him. Jeremiah saw the text and assumed the worst. He felt immense betrayal after hearing her and Conrad in the kitchen and stubbornly decided unilaterally that the wedding was going to happen no matter what. What can Belly do if she can’t find him?]

Belly: Have you seen Jeremiah?
B’s friend: No? Why?
Belly: I’ve been trying to find him all morning, and I can’t get a hold of him.
B’s friend: Okay? He’s probably still out at some random diner trying to fix his hangover.
Belly: But the rehearsal is in an hour.
B’s friend: Okay… maybe he’s… he’s already at the rehearsal?
Belly: What?
B’s friend: Maybe he went to the country club to get food and decided to stay there until rehearsal starts?
Belly: Okay, but why…
B’s friend: Look, the rehearsal is starting in an hour. Maybe we should head there too. Then, when we find Jeremiah there, you can talk to him about whatever it is that you want, okay?

Belly let out a sigh in exhaustion. Jeremiah should’ve been back by now. They should already be talking about cancelling the wedding, not having to attend the rehearsal now.

Belly: (defeated) Okay, fine. Let’s go.

Grabbing the keys, Belly headed straight for the door.

B’s friend: Wait wait wait, what are you doing?
Belly: I’m going to the club.
B’s friend: Okay, but don’t you think you should change first?

Belly looked down at her casual outfit. She thought it’d be fine to talk to Jeremiah like this, after all, why put on her wedding rehearsal outfit just to break off the wedding? But her friend doesn’t know it. She doesn’t know that Belly is going to call off the wedding when she sees Jeremiah. Jeremiah doesn’t know that Belly is going to call off the wedding. She had been stressing about what to say to him all day, so she should be the one who says it, and not her unkempt appearance.

Quietly agreeing with her, the girls went upstairs to change. Thinking about how hard it is to find Jeremiah, Belly felt something was off. She doesn’t know what, she doesn’t know why, but something tells her that later when she sees Jeremiah, it’s not going to be pretty.

Chapter Text

[New scenes, not in the show] [Belly is still looking for Jeremiah at the country club and still can’t find him because he’s purposely hiding from her.]

Bursting through the doors of the country club, Belly ran all over trying to find Jeremiah. She couldn’t find him anywhere, and just as she was going to call him for what felt like the hundredth time that day, her wedding planner appeared out of thin air and dragged Belly to practice her entrance for tomorrow. But Belly didn’t want to plan her entrance. In fact, she didn’t want the wedding planning to progress anymore. She wants to call it off here and now, before things get too much to handle. But how could she when she couldn’t find her groom?

Seeing Belly walk down the aisle, Jeremiah was filled with conflict. He liked watching her walk down the aisle; he hates that this would be the only time she would walk down the aisle to him. He likes how pretty she looks right now; he hates that she got dressed only to break up with him later. He wants to smile and take her hands in his, but his face is frozen, and his hands cold. To make matters worse, his brother, the person who declared his undying love for his fiancée this morning, is standing right next to him. Jeremiah likes watching Belly walk down the aisle, but for all he knows, in her mind, she’s walking towards Conrad.

Belly: (whispers) Where were you?
Jeremiah: (whispers) (nonchalantly) I was still hungover. Took a nap in a room.
Belly: (whispers) I was looking everywhere for you.
Jeremiah: (whispers) Don’t worry, I’m right here now.

--- rehearsal finishes, everyone to head for dinner for wrap up ---
--- in their private dressing room ---

Belly: Jere, I need to talk to you.
Jeremiah: I need to use the restroom.

Jeremiah broke away from Belly’s hands and made a dash inside. Looking at her now empty hands, Belly knows that Jeremiah knows something was up.

Belly: Jere! Jeremiah!
Jeremiah: What Belly? I have to use the restroom.
Belly: No, no, you don’t.

Belly rushes in front of Jeremiah and puts her hands on the door. She sees him actively averting her gaze. She was right. He knows something.

Belly: Why are you avoiding me?
Jeremiah: Avoiding? Why would I be avoiding you?
Belly: That’s what I’m asking.
Jeremiah took a step back.
Belly: Jere, we need to talk.
Jeremiah: About?

Okay, the time is now. The words Belly have been trying to find the whole day have to come out now. She doesn’t know how to say anything she wants to say, but right now, she has to say something. Anything.

Belly: Jere, I want… I think…

Watching her stumble over her words, Jeremiah found himself to be so pathetic. Right now, his fiancée is trying to find her words to break up with him, and here he was standing in front of her, patiently waiting for the words to finally come out of her mouth. Every breath she took, every thought he sees flashing in her head, just made him feel like a joke. Belly obviously wants to cancel the wedding. She obviously hates that the man who was standing by her side today wasn’t his brother. Either she successfully tells him that the wedding is off tonight, or she pulls a disappearing bride act tomorrow. Disappearing bride and groomsman. Either way, the one left standing alone at the altar will be him. And he doesn’t want that.

Jeremiah: (starkly) You want to call the wedding off?
Belly: (caught off-guard) …what?
Jeremiah: (scoff) So, I’m right then?
Belly: (slowly) (carefully) Jere…
Jeremiah: So why? What’s your reason then?

Belly could hear the anger in his voice rising. So, she was right. He knew. An open concept kitchen is truly an unsuitable place for a private argument.

Belly: (pleadingly) Jere…
Jeremiah: (sternly, the anger is clearly rising) You don’t want to say it? Fine, I’ll say it for you.

Before she could process what was going on, Jeremiah bolted out the door and slammed it shut. Belly doesn’t know the extent of what Jeremiah knows, but she knows whatever he knows, it’s all wrong. The ground should really open up now.

Belly: (under breath) fuck.

The dining hall’s door swung open, hitting the walls on the side. The guests jumped in their seats, caught off guard by the loud sound. Jeremiah stood at the entrance with barely controlled anger. If the wedding is to be called off, he’ll be the one to do it.

Jeremiah: (with a forced smile) Hello, everyone! Thank you for coming to our wedding rehearsal. It’s been an honour having you here with us. Truly, I appreciate it. However, it looks like my bride has different plans than I.

Just as Jeremiah was about to continue, Belly rushed into the room. Grabbing onto his arms, Belly’s pleading eyes are on him, asking him to stop.

Belly: (softly) Jere…
Jeremiah: (false excitement) See, tomorrow, I plan on marrying my beautiful bride. My bride, however, has plans to be with someone else.
Belly: (louder, more firmly) Jere…
Jeremiah: (gesturing with his unoccupied arm) My brother.

The room snaps around to look at Conrad. He was in shock too. He wanted Belly’s wedding to be called off; he just didn’t think it was going to happen like this. He glanced over at Belly, and all he saw was her eyes narrowing. She probably didn’t think it was going to happen like this either.

Belly: (sternly) Jere.
Jeremiah: (mockingly) What? Am I wrong? Were you not running all over the place today trying to find me to tell me the wedding’s off because he finally declared his love for you?

Belly knows he’s hurt. But she can’t believe he’s hurting her like this too. All day long, she had been trying to find him so she could have a conversation with him about the wedding and their relationship. She had so many chances to tell others that the wedding is off, but she had enough respect for him to want to inform him first. But Jeremiah? He didn’t even want to give her any grace. Whatever he thinks about her, whatever he thinks happened between her and Conrad, Jeremiah didn’t even want to give Belly the chance to explain before he barged into the room with their family and friends, embarrassing her just for the sake of it. He may be the person she has grown up with, but right now, Belly can’t recognise him. This petty, childish, vindictive man standing in front of her? This isn’t the Jeremiah Fisher she knows.

Jeremiah: (sarcastically) I think we should all raise our glasses to toast to the new happy couple, yes?

Jeremiah grabs a champagne glass off the table. He downed it in one go, slammed the glass down before turning around to Belly.

Jeremiah: (bitterly, under his breath) Congratulations.

Spinning on his heels, Jeremiah pushed the door open and stormed out. Still reeling from the shock, the room was in complete silence. Belly can’t believe what just happened. Their not being able to make it down the aisle has got nothing to do with what Jeremiah thinks. They were never going to make it, even if Conrad didn’t say what he said. Still, with all eyes now on her, Belly needs to go. Even if Jeremiah is enraged, he needs to know that whatever he thinks he knows is factually wrong.

Chasing Jeremiah out to the car park, Belly called out his name in anger and frustration.

Belly: Jeremiah!

Ignoring her, Jeremiah stormed straight to his car.
Belly: Jeremiah! It is not what you think! Can we please talk?
Jeremiah: (still looking ahead) It’s not what I think? I already heard everything I needed to hear, Belly.
Belly: Did you really? Did you listen to the whole thing or just part of it?

Belly rushes forward and grabs Jeremiah’s arms. Jeremiah turned around with tears in his eyes.

Jeremiah: Why didn’t you answer him?
Belly: What?
Jeremiah: You didn’t answer him, Belly. Why didn’t you?

He isn’t asking the right questions. Why isn’t he asking the right questions? Belly didn’t know what to say; she doesn’t think she should say it either. Her answer isn’t relevant to their situation, and her answering it will make the hurt cut even deeper. As she stood foot rooted to the ground, Jeremiah pulled away and went into his car. He slammed the door shut and started it up.

Belly: Jeremiah?
Jeremiah sat behind the wheel, his hands tightly holding on to it.

Belly: (as she’s knocking his car window) Jeremiah, get out of the car.

Jeremiah sat behind the wheel, not making a move.

Belly: (knocks louder) Jeremiah! Jeremiah, you just had a glass. Get out of the car!

No movements.

Belly: (louder) (kicks his wheel) Jeremiah, get out of the car! (kicks the car again) Get out!

Jeremiah finally looks up at Belly. Just one look, and Belly knew instantly, as of right now, there’s no more going back for them. With his foot pressed on the accelerator, Jeremiah sped out of the car park, terribly wanting to leave this hurt behind.

Belly: (screaming and running after his car) Jeremiah! Jeremiah, get out of the car!

The commotion drew the guests out.

Belly’s father: Jere!
Belly: (under her breath) oh great.

Seeing his son pull out of the car park, Jeremiah’s father immediately got into his car. Hearing her brother calling out for his name, Belly’s frustration grew even more.

Belly: (irritably) Can you go find him before he kills someone?
Belly: (under her breath) Or himself?

He nodded and got into the car with Jeremiah’s father. The two of them drove out of the car park, and all that’s left are heavy silences and awkward glances.

Belly’s mum: Honey? Let’s go home, shall we?
Belly: (snapping, furious at how everything turned out) He knows he just drank, right? So why the hell did he get behind the wheel? Is he crazy?
Belly’s mum: (trying to comfort her) I’m sure he’ll be fine. It was only a glass, and it’s an empty road out. His father and your brother are already looking for him. He’ll be fine.
Belly: (scoffs) Fine… right. What’s fine about this, Mum? What’s so fine about all this?

Out of the thousands of scenarios that ran in her mind about how she thought would happen when she finally talked to Jeremiah, him angrily driving away after drinking definitely wasn’t one of them. His reaction to this feels like an overreaction to her. Belly didn’t expect him to be all smiles and giggles after learning about her intention, but he didn’t even give her the chance. He just assumed the worst of her and left. Like she ever did anything bad enough to warrant this kind of reaction. Last time she checked, she wasn’t the one who did anything to harm the integrity of their relationship. At least not consciously.

Belly: (taking deep breaths in) I’m sorry, mum. It’s just a lot… today.
Belly’s mum: I know.
Belly: Can we go home?
Belly’s mum: Of course. Let me go grab our things, and we’ll leave.

Belly's mum hugged her one more time before heading in. Alone at the car park, Belly sat on a bollard and looked up into the sky. The stars are out tonight. They look really pretty.

Conrad: Are you okay?

Belly didn’t need to turn around to know who was asking. She was, however, surprised that he’s still here. Frankly, after the whirlwind of storms with Jeremiah, Belly kind of forgot that he was still here. She didn’t want to turn around to see him though; she just wanted the night to end.
Still looking up at the night sky, Belly answered.

Belly: What do you think?
Conrad: I’m sorry.
Belly: Are you?

Conrad fell silent. He didn’t know what to say.

Belly: I didn’t mean it like that.
Conrad: Hmm.

Silence hung in the air.

Belly: He’s wrong, you know?
Conrad: Hmm?
Belly: I didn’t want to cancel the wedding because of what you said. We already had problems; I just didn’t want to admit it.
Conrad: So why admit it now?

Good question. Why does he always know the right questions to ask?

Belly: …
Belly: (slightly wistfully) I couldn’t marry someone who didn’t make me feel electric.

Belly turns her head ever so slightly. She wanted to see his face when she said that. She wants to know what he’s thinking when he hears her answer. But, on second thought, maybe that would be redundant. She already knows what his reaction would be. She knows he’ll look at her, eyebrows slightly raised. His lips would be slightly opened, doubting himself if what he just heard was true, busy analysing all the different scenarios for all the different replies he's concocting in his head.

Maybe in another world, in a parallel universe, she could run into his arms and tell him everything that’s running through her mind. But not in this one, and not right now. Until she finds peace in her mind and finally has a proper talk and not a screaming match with Jeremiah, her wishes and desires would only remain as wishes and desires.

Before another word was exchanged, Belly’s family and her friend came out of the country club, and they took Belly home. Standing in the middle of an empty car park, Conrad looked up at the sky as well. The stars are out tonight. They’re shining brightly tonight. Brighter than he had ever seen.

Chapter Text

[New scenes, not in the show]

One more deep breath. And one more. Her hands are on the doorknob, but Belly just can’t bring herself to twist it open. She had been rehearsing what to say to Jeremiah ever since she woke up that morning, thinking and rethinking the things she wanted to express. After yesterday’s events, she was pretty sure that Jeremiah hated her, and all Belly wanted now was for her friend to come back. She knows it’s selfish, but he is the last bit of normalcy left from the past 4 years. It’s familiar, and she doesn’t want to let it all go. Not just yet.

Belly: (solemnly) Hi, Jere.

Jeremiah stared out the window. He didn’t want to turn around. He still doesn’t want to see her.

Belly: We need to talk.

She carefully approaches Jeremiah, who’s lying in bed, surrounded by beer bottles. Belly noticed a few in a corner that were broken.

Belly: I’m sorry.

Jeremiah doesn’t respond. Belly takes a deep breath in and continues. She still doesn’t know what exactly to say, but it wasn’t like she could make this situation worse than it already is.

Belly: I’m sorry, Jeremiah. But…things are not what you imagine.
Jeremiah: (sharply) Not what I imagined?

Turning himself around, Belly sees his swollen eyes. He could see hers too.

Belly: (calmly) No.
Jeremiah: (scoffs) (sarcastically) So, what are things like then? Are you here to tell me that you actually hate him and that I misheard everything because I was hungover? Or that I’m overreacting and that it’s very normal for my girlfriend to be in love with my brother, and it’s a trendy relationship dynamic I’m supposed to be on board with?

He’s hurt, Belly knows that. But this has been hurting her too. It has been hurting her for quite some time. Long before the bachelorette party. Long before she realised what she wanted. Seeing his reaction and feeling her heart twisting once more, Belly knows she shouldn’t have dragged her feet for as long as she did.

Belly: Why did you change the cake order?
Jeremiah: (confused) What?
Belly: I called the bakery to change our wedding cake delivery to the country club, and they informed me that the one-tier cake that I ordered had changed to a two-tier cake.
Jeremiah: (brushing her off) Maybe they were mistaken.
Belly: No. They told me someone changed it.
Jeremiah: When did you learn about this?
Belly: (sighing) A few weeks back.
Jeremiah: So why bring this up now? (insinuatingly) Did something happen?
Belly: (slightly defeated) Jere…
Jeremiah: (mockingly) Is this your way of making yourself feel better?

Belly chose to be in a relationship with Jeremiah because it was easy. Everything was so easy with him. It was so easy for her to laugh, for her smile, for her to be constantly cracking jokes. Everything was breezy with him. It was like having an endless summer, always bright, always sunny. But now, everything is the opposite of easy. It was as if all the rain, all the thunderstorms Belly had tried so hard to avoid, were crashing down all at once. All she wants is to stay afloat, but she knows the downpour hasn’t stopped. In fact, it had only just begun.

Belly: (matter-of-factly) You changed the cake order even though we agreed together on a one-tier cake.
Jeremiah: (moving away from Belly) That was supposed to be a surprise.
Belly: (questioningly) A surprise? Why would I be surprised?
Jeremiah: We had more people coming to the wedding. Isn’t it better that we have a bigger cake?
Belly: (in disbelief) You changed the order before the guest list changed.
Jeremiah: (defensively) Why are we even discussing a cake order right now?
Belly: Because! Because this shows … (trailing off)
Belly: Jere, we have problems.
Jeremiah: (scoff) As far as I can tell, we only have one problem.

Jeremiah slumped onto a chair at the far end of the room. Belly watched his chest rise and fall rapidly. Even now, even after everything, he is still just thinking about Conrad. Maybe, just maybe, Belly and Jeremiah could’ve been together for longer if he hadn’t come back, but even without him here, they still wouldn’t have forever.

Mustering all her courage, Belly finally asked what she wanted to ask Jeremiah a long time ago. She would’ve asked him before, but back then, she wasn’t strong enough to hear his answer. She knew if she had heard it, she wouldn’t be able to lie to herself anymore.

Belly: Jeremiah, why did you propose to me?
Jeremiah: What?
Belly: Why did you propose?
Jeremiah: (Bluntly) Because I love you.  

There are times, if somethings are repeated often enough, it might just ring true. But it’s only limited to the mind. The heart always knows otherwise.   

Belly: No, that’s not why.

Belly stood up and approached Jeremiah. She knew from the moment she got in the car to the beach house that she would destroy whatever was left of their relationship. A part of her just wished it didn’t have to come to that. However, sometimes, no matter how badly she wants it to be otherwise, things don’t just break; they shatter.

Belly: You proposed to me because I was upset.

Jeremiah turned around and stared blankly at her. He tried to figure out what she was alluding to, but he couldn’t. All he knows now is that when Belly leaves the room, their relationship will be dust, and she’ll be gone for good.

Belly: (choking up) I was upset that you cheated, and we broke up. That was the first time in our lives when you felt that you were actually going to lose me.
Belly: You proposed because you were afraid of losing me… And I said yes because I was afraid of losing you.
Belly: But… don’t people get married because they love each other? Not because they’re afraid to lose each other?
Jeremiah: (choking up) Is that not the same thing?
Belly: (forcing a smile through her tears) No… no it’s not. To love someone is to want them. To be afraid to lose someone is to need them.
Belly: We’ve needed each other for so long, Jere. I don’t even know where you start, and I end. And that’s not…that’s not good.

There was once a time when Belly thought she would never see Jeremiah again. It was when she accidentally broke his favourite toy, and he was angry with her for a week. Then, when she got together with Conrad, she thought she would never see him again, because of the way he was dodging all her phone calls and messages. Then, when Susannah passed, for a moment, Belly thought she would never see either boys again. Her mum was a wreck when Susannah passed; she couldn’t even bring herself to visit the beach house. There were times in Belly’s life when she thought she would lose a part of her summer, a part of her memories, a part of herself, and every time those thoughts come around, Belly fights tooth and nail to make sure it never happens. But, today, in this room, sitting in complete silence, Belly knows that the time she wanted so badly to delay is up. Whether she liked it or not, this part of her, the part of her that held summer at Cousins so near and dear to her heart, she had to let it go. Maybe one day she could come back, and when she does, maybe they could be friends again.

Belly: Jeremiah, I think we’ve both made our fair share of mistakes in this relationship... and I think we should start owning up to them.
Belly: (holding onto his hands) I’m sorry for saying yes.
Belly: (sad whisper) …I’m sorry.

He didn’t want to meet her eyes; he didn’t want to look at her leaving. He knows she was right; he had just hoped that if no one ever said it, then it wouldn’t be true.

Chapter Text

[New scenes, not in the show] [Belly is backseat in the car. Her mother is driving her back after her breakup with Jeremiah.]

After breaking up with Jeremiah, Belly feels drained. She’s completely exhausted. Everything around her has crumbled down, and she doesn’t know what to do next. Belly just wants the day to end. Sitting in the backseat, Belly tried stifling her tears as much as she could. Belly knows cancelling the wedding would hurt her, as it would hurt Jeremiah. Ever since her bachelorette party, she tried imagining again and again, again and again, playing out every possible scenario of what could happen when she finally cancelled. Belly knew it was going to hurt, but imagining and experiencing it are completely different. She doesn’t know her heart could twist this much, nor can it feel so heavy. On top of this, she’s in her mother’s car. The one and only person who told her the wedding was a bad idea from the get-go, but Belly was so stubborn and caused such a big rift in their relationship. Now not only is she heartbroken, she also feels so stupid and embarrassed.

One drop, then two. Three, four. Glancing at the rearview mirror, Belly’s mother only hopes that the light behind her daughter’s eyes will come back soon. She missed it. It has been a while.

B’s mum: Belly?

No answer. Just loud sobs.

B’s mum: It’s going to be alright, sweetie. It’ll pass.

Belly still didn’t answer. Her mother didn’t know what to say anymore, either. She doesn’t like that there wasn’t anything she could do in this moment to comfort her daughter, but this wasn’t something words could fix. All she can do now is to be there for her, however Belly wants it.

Pulling into the car park, Belly’s mother waited for her daughter to move. But she didn’t. Belly just lay her head on the window, staring blankly ahead of her.

B’s mum: Belly? We’re home.

Silence.

B’s mum: Belly?
Belly: (tired) Mum…
Belly: I want to go to Paris.
B’s mum: (curiously) For a visit?
Belly: No… I want to study in Paris. Finish my semester there.
B’s mum: (confused) Umm… can you still apply now?
Belly: … I never informed the school.

A look of surprise and a tinge of happiness took over Belly’s mum. The one thing she had been most afraid of, her daughter marrying young, is that Belly will lose herself before she can even discover who she is. She was disappointed when Belly first informed her that she was going to drop out of the Paris exchange, but after a heated few weeks with her daughter, she didn’t want to do anything else that would keep her on the sidelines of her daughter’s life. Though the corner of her lips is undeniably twitching upwards. At least Belly isn’t completely lost. And she’s still fighting.

B’s mum: (trying to hide her smile) You didn’t?
Belly: No, I tried. I called them but… I couldn’t get my words out. Thought I'd just be a no-show.
B’s mum: Okay.

A knowing look was exchanged between them.

B’s mum: (smiling) Let’s get you to Paris.

Chapter Text

[New scenes, not in the show] [The brothers need to wipe the slate clean.]

Conrad didn’t know what was happening now. After last night’s rehearsal dinner disaster, he had been trying to find a way to talk to Jeremiah. The look in Jeremiah’s eyes when he stared at him, letting everyone know what he said to Belly on the beach, Conrad needs to apologise. And he needs to do it now, before he leaves. Conrad had heard Belly coming into the house earlier that day and watched her as she left with her mum. He guessed Jeremiah probably didn’t want to see anyone now, him more than most, but Conrad didn’t have much choice left. His flight was leaving in a couple of hours, and he didn’t want to leave with more bad blood among them. He promised his mother that he would take care of Jeremiah, and that was what Conrad wanted to do.

Hearing Jeremiah going downstairs, Conrad followed suit after collecting his nerves.

Conrad: Hey, Jere.

Upon hearing his brother’s voice, Jeremiah slammed the refrigerator door shut. He stayed in his room for a while after Belly left, trying to calm himself down and make sense of what was happening. And then finally, just when he felt a little bit better, he heard Conrad’s voice, and all the confusion and hurt bubbled right back to the surface. He turned around and looked at Conrad’s face, wondering how he could still stand there after what he did to him.

Conrad: Jere, I’m sorr-
Jeremiah: (firm) No.
Jeremiah: (suppressing his anger) You’re not sorry.
Conrad: (sincerely) Yes, I am.

In disbelief, Jeremiah just wants to leave the room. He shakes his head in anger, storms towards Conrad and pushes past him with his shoulders. Conrad grabbed hold of his arms in an attempt to stop him. Jeremiah swung his arm away immediately when he felt Conrad’s hands on his arms. Jeremiah did try to disengage from the situation and walk away, but it doesn’t feel like it’s going to happen the way he planned it. Much like the wedding.

Jeremiah: (snaps in irritation) Don’t touch me.
Jeremiah: What are you doing here anyway? Are you here to gloat?
Conrad: No. I’m here for you. I’m here to apologise.
Jeremiah: (scoffs) You’re here? For me? We barely talked to each other all these years, and the second my wedding is off, all of a sudden you’re here for me?
Conrad: Jere, I-
Jeremiah: (bitterly) You should try coming up with a better lie next time.
Conrad: I’m not lying.
Jeremiah: Oh, really? So, you’re here because you’re sorry? Sorry for what?
Conrad: I’m sorry for –
Jeremiah: You know what? I don’t really care what you’re sorry for. Just leave.
Conrad: Jere –
Jeremiah: (shouting) Go!

Silence rang throughout the house. Each second that ticks by is heavier than the next.

Conrad: I’m sorry. I didn’t mean for things to happen like this.
Jeremiah: Oh? So, what did you expect to happen when you told her you still love her?
Conrad: I-
Jeremiah: You know what? Here’s a better question: why this weekend? You had the whole summer, you had the whole year, you had 4 whole years to tell her how you feel. So why this weekend? Why just hours before the wedding? Hmm?
Conrad: …
Jeremiah: Did it pain you to see your brother marrying the girl you love? Were you jealous? Were you so unbelievably upset that instead of talking to me, you decided to humiliate me instead?
Conrad: No, I never meant to hu –
Jeremiah: Is this your idea of a big romantic gesture? To proclaim your love to her just before she was marrying me? Did it make you feel good? Did it make you feel like you’re better than me?
Jeremiah: (sarcastically) ‘Oh, haha, she’s going to be with me now. Bye bye, Jeremiah.’
Conrad: No –
Jeremiah: So why now? If you can keep your big feelings hidden from her, from us, for years, why now? Why tell her this now? Why tell her on the weekend of our wedding?

He didn't want to say it. He didn't want to shift the focus away from his apology, but he couldn't help it. The words are rising fast in his throat, and there's nothing he could do to stop them.

Conrad: (matter-of-factly) You cheated on her.
Jeremiah: (taken aback) …what?
Conrad: That’s why I…
Jeremiah: (without missing a beat) …wanted to take my place.
Conrad: No, that’s not what I mean…
Jeremiah: Then what do you mean?
Conrad: (sighs in defeat) (turning away) Nothing, nevermi-
Jeremiah: (grabs Conrad’s arm) No, say it.

It’s been a long time since the boys last saw each other. Conrad almost forgot Jeremiah’s little eyebrow twitch when he gets mad. Jeremiah forgot how Conrad’s eyes looked when he’s tired.

Jeremiah: You know, you’re sick.
Conrad: What?
Jeremiah: (letting go of Conrad’s arms) You’re a sick man.
Jeremiah: You must think you’re some sort of benevolent guy, going around, carrying everyone’s shit for them, trying to do what you think is best for them. Even now, why can’t you just tell me how you feel?
Conrad: I did. I told you I love her.
Jeremiah: Yeah, on our wedding weekend –
Conrad: (cutting him off) No. At the motel. I told you then I still love her, and you went and dated her.

What a weekend this is turning out to be. Jeremiah is supposed to be celebrating, popping champagne and dancing the night away with his new bride, but instead, he gets to rehash overdue arguments with his brother. And with a throbbing headache.

Jeremiah: Did you tell her that?

Conrad stares at him blankly. Technically, he did, but… then he didn’t.

Jeremiah: I told you to tell her that. What did you want me to do when she came at me the next morning, asking me to be with her? Say my big brother is still in love with you, but I don’t know when he’ll admit it to you, so I don’t know, let’s just wait and see?
Conrad: (dejectedly) I couldn’t tell her that then.
Jeremiah: Yeah, because you think you have everyone figured out! Like, we’re supposed to go on our knees thanking you for staying away for years so we wouldn’t be sad? But guess what? We were still sad anyway, and you weren’t here. You were never here.
Conrad: …
Jeremiah: And you don’t have to be here now, Conrad. Get out.

Not wanting to give Conrad more time for his excuses, Jeremiah left the room. Conrad had hoped that he could iron things out with his brother before he left, but clearly that was wishful thinking on his part. Jeremiah was right. How can they iron things out when Conrad never talks to him about anything?

Chapter Text

[New scenes, not in the show] [After Belly’s mum sent her off, she bumped into Conrad. She’s the one who informs Conrad that Belly is going to Paris.]

Conrad: Oh? That’s good then. New experience… in Paris… I think she’ll like it.
B’s mum: Hmm… I hope so too. This summer has been…something. I just want her to be happy again, you know? To be herself again.
Conrad: I’m sure she will.
B’s mum: (nudges Conrad) You too. I know this summer has been tough on you. But it’ll get better. I promise.
Conrad: (sheepishly) Thanks.
B’s mum: (opens her arms for a hug) It was nice having you back this summer. You should visit more often.
Conrad: (goes in for the hug) I will.

The two exchanged their goodbyes, and Conrad headed over to his gate. While waiting for his plane to board, his eyes couldn’t help but scan the departure hall’s board for flights to Paris. Conrad was glad to hear that Belly was going to Paris; he just didn’t really enjoy the fact that he had to hear it from someone else. He had wished to talk to Belly before flying out too, but there was simply no time left. He thought maybe she would call and talk to him too, maybe send a message. He wanted to send a message as well, but given how quickly and terribly things went down, Conrad wouldn’t know the first thing to say to her. Shutting his eyes and throwing his head back, Conrad just wished he could be on the plane now and get back to his life.

In the waiting area before boarding, Belly stood quietly in a corner, watching the planes from the window. If someone told her a few days ago that she was going to end the week by flying to Paris to attend her exchange programme, she would’ve thought they were being paid by her mother to hypnotise her or something. But now, despite the butterflies she’s feeling in her stomach, it feels right. It feels like Belly was meant to be here all along. In her sweats, leaning on a wall, watching planes take off, and figuring out what movies to watch before falling asleep for the rest of the journey.

She’s going to miss Cousins, how could she not? Cousins was her first home away from home. It was where she made some of her best memories; it was where she thought she would always be part of. Belly hopes that one day she’ll be able to go back and create more memories, to experience again what she misses. But to know that her going back is an “if” and not “when”, it stung her heart a little.

Belly never meant for anything to become the way it did, but after this chaos, how could she ever go back? She’ll never be able to forget the look in Jeremiah’s eyes when she broke up with him, how he looked so alone and dejected. She only wishes that the next time they meet, they could go back to the way they were. Before the engagement, before the relationship, back to the way they were when they were a bunch of dumb kids, spending every day in laughter and joy. As for Conrad, he's a big question mark.

When she thinks about Conrad, she just remembers the tears in his eyes when he begged her to stay. The crack in his voice when he told her he loves her. She knows if she wanted to, she could see Conrad again. But truth be told, she feels a little ashamed to see him. If she didn’t push her feelings down, if she didn’t lie to herself over and over again, if she had only listened to her heart a lot earlier, things wouldn’t be what they are.

Still, she tried so hard to get Jeremiah to listen to her explanation, maybe Conrad deserved the same too.

Chapter Text

[Last scene before Paris]

“Hey Conrad, it’s me, Belly. Turns out you were right. I was being heartless. I was trying so hard to do things the right way, the way I thought they were supposed to, but I guess I got lost along the way.”

--- Business class passengers, please prepare your passes for boarding. ---

“Uhh, but I guess I did eventually find it. Turns out the way is…Paris. I’ll be finishing my last semester there, and who knows what will happen after. Whatever it is, I just hope it’ll be a lot easier. And a lot lighter.”

--- Zone 1 to 3, please prepare your passes for boarding. ---

“It’s been great seeing you this summer, Conrad. I’ll see you when I see you. Take care. Bye.”

Chapter Text

[New scenes, not in the show] [At the school, after completing her enrolment]

Admin staff: Here is your welcome package. Welcome to Paris University.
Belly: Thanks.

The rock on her shoulders lifted once her hands received the welcome package. She has been on edge her whole flight, worrying what if the school had rescinded her offer, as she was supposed to report a week ago. Her mum gave a call to the school before they left to make sure that Belly still had a spot, but that didn't stop Belly from spiralling, imagining the worst possible scenarios. The 10 seconds it took for the immigration officer to check her documents were the most harrowing 10 seconds of her life. All her necessary documents were prepared, but since she missed the school's recommended start date, nothing could calm her down until the admin lady handed her the welcome package.

Admin staff: Your first class is in 2 days’ time, so try to settle down as quickly as you can. (straightforward) This is why the school asks students to come a week before classes start, so they won’t be panicked. You’re lucky this spot is still available.
Belly: (relieved) Yeah, I am. Thanks.
Admin staff: You have to go down to student services as well. They'll catch you up on your class requirements and give you a tour of the school.
Belly: I have to go now?
Admin staff: No. You have to schedule it. Try to do it before your classes start.
Belly: Ok... how do I schedule it?

After a slightly tense briefing and some quips by the staff about Belly's tardiness, she could finally leave and have some fun before class started. And after a visit to student services. Belly stood up and took her luggage in her hands, feeling like a new butterfly ready to take its first flight. With her admittance made official, she can finally start a new chapter in her life. She’s so excited to unpack and visit some of the city's most popular spots when she realised that there was one other thing she didn’t account for.

Belly: (tentatively) You won’t happen to still have any dorm rooms left, would you?
Admin staff: Excuse me?
Belly: Do you still have dorm rooms available?
Admin staff: No… you’re supposed to take care of it before you arrive.
Belly: (awkward chuckle) Any chance the school can take care of it?
Admin staff: (judgemental pause) You can leave your luggage here while you look for a place. But you should know, the semester has already begun for some schools. I don’t think you’ll have much luck with student housing.
Belly: … so there’s no more space in your dor-
Admin staff: (firmly) No.
Belly: (awkwardly) Heh… Can I put my luggage here?

[Belly leaves with just a small bag]

Touring rundown apartments in random spots in Paris wasn't how she planned her first day to be. Instead of visiting the Eiffel Tower, or the Louvre, or even some random cafe where she could sit and unwind after a long flight, Belly gets the honour of climbing up and down endless stairs to visit apartments that will fuel her nightmares for the next 5 nights. Some have crooked walls, some have ceilings so low she'd never be able to straighten her spine, and there was one apartment with a bathroom in the kitchen. Belly didn't get a good look at it as she sprinted out of the last apartment with walls yellowed from heavy cigarette smoke, but she's pretty sure there was a rat drowning in the toilet bowl. It'd be too good to be true for Belly to find a suitable apartment just after a few hours of haphazard viewing, but she didn't think she'd end the day wandering around the streets of Paris alone. After grabbing her luggage from school, Belly decided to just book a motel for the night and to continue her apartment search the next day. Whilst scrolling through what seemed like motel rooms last tidied since the 80s, a commotion from a nearby street caught her attention.

Random man: Excusez-moi. Mademoiselle? (greasily) I swear, we've met before.
B's new friend: ( scoffs ) I'm sorry, I'm waiting for my girlfriend.
Random man: (laughs) You don't have to lie.
B's new friend: (irritated) (trying to get away) I'm not. Excuse me. (shoves past)
Random man: Don't lie. (grabs her shoulders)
B's new friend: (alarmed) Excuse me...
Belly: (smile on her face) Hey!
Belly: (warmly) Hey. Lucy. I... oh, my God, I couldn't find you anywhere. I was about to leave. Uh, thank God you didn't.
Random man: ( laughs softly ) Is this your girlfriend? Huh? ( Laughs )
B's new friend: Yes. (links arm with Belly)

The girls marched ahead without looking back, hoping the strange guy would buy their story and leave them alone.

B's new friend: (whispers) Thank you.
Belly: It's no worry.
B's new friend: I'm [name].
Belly: Isabel.
B's new friend: So, Isabel, what's with the luggage?
Belly: Oh, heh, I'm trying to look for a place to sleep tonight.
B's new friend: (puzzled) Your parents kicked you out?
Belly: No, no. Long story, but if I don't book a room by tonight, I'd probably have to just spend all night hiding behind a dumpster or something. I don't know.
B's new friend: A dumpster?
Belly: Yeah, so weird guys like him can't find me and annoy me, or whatever.
B's new friend: (chuckles) Well, Isabel, thank you again for helping me with that creepy dude.
Belly: Of course.
B's new friend: And now it's my turn to help you.
Belly: Hmm?
B's new friend: I'm not going to let you sleep out on the streets tonight.

Before Belly could process what was going on, her new friend took her by the hand and led her into a random club underground.

B's new friend: (amiably) Let me introduce you to my friends first before we settle your living situation.

Chapter Text

[New scenes, not in the show] [Belly has been illegally crashing at her friend’s place for 3 weeks.]

Belly: Hi, Mum.
B’s mum: Hi, Belly. How’s everything?
Belly: Great. My friends are cool; my school is cool. Everything is fine, it’s great.
B’s mum: So, the problem with your dorm? It’s all settled?

It has been 3 weeks since Belly first arrived in Paris, and unfortunately for her, it has been 3 weeks of dodging the landlord, visiting dodgy apartments, and figuring out how to dodge every “how are you doing” question from her loved ones. But, even with her unstable living condition, Belly is still having fun in Paris. She lucked out and met nice people on her first day who are risking their tenancy just to give Belly a place to crash. Her schoolmates are friendly, and her school’s workload is just enough to let her tour and experience Paris without deadlines looming behind her every 3 business days. But Belly knows her mum well. She’s afraid that if she told her mum that she didn’t have a proper place to stay, she’ll be a nervous wreck, and it’ll make Belly a nervous wreck too.

Belly: … there are still some things I have to get settled, but other than that, everything is great.
B’s mum: What else is there for you to settle?
Belly: Umm… my room is… not the best. I’m seeing if I can change it to one that’s nicer. Cleaner.
B’s mum: … That’s going to be your third room change.
Belly: Uh… yeah, I guess.
B’s mum: Belly, are you sure that’s everything? –
Belly: It’s fine. It’s all good. Really. I’ve met some really nice people, and they’re helping me out whenever they can.
B’s mum: Okay.
Belly: I’ll let you know my new address when the dorm is ready. Until then, you can just call me or my friends. You have their numbers, right?
B’s mum: Mhmm, I already saved it.
Belly: Good, I’ll talk to you soon.
B’s mum: Bye, sweetie.
Belly: Bye, mum.

Belly thinks her mum may already know more than she’s letting on, especially with how stubbornly Belly is avoiding any straight answers with regard to her living situation. She wished she could stop lying to her mum soon. Technically, she hasn't lied, but there's nothing truthful about what she's saying either. How can it be a third room change when she never had a room? And her friends' apartment is nice and clean. She doubts there will be any cleaner, especially compared to all the rat-infested, slanted floors, and moulding - yes, moulding walls of abominations she had been viewing for the last 20 days. One more terrible apartment, and Belly's head is going to explode, though that might be the doing of the mould. It's been 20 days of crooked neck and twisted spine. May this next apartment be the one she has been looking for.

Grabbing her bags by the couch, Belly mentally prepped herself for her next apartment visit when her friend interrupted her thoughts.

B’s friend: Isabel?
Belly: Yeah?
B’s friend: (enthusiastically) Good news. [Another friend] is moving out.
Belly: (surprised) What? Why?
B’s friend: [Reason for moving out]
Belly: Are you serious?
B’s friend: Yes, and that’s why you can have her room.
Belly: (even more surprised) What?
B’s friend: We already talked to the landlord about it, and she agreed. You just have to pay the… (trails off)
B’s friend: … you have money, right?
Belly: Yes! Yes, of course.
B’s friend: Okay, great! Let’s go pay your deposit, and we can officially move you into the room. Get you all sorted out.
B’s friend: (playfully) Say bye-bye to the couch.

After a quick trip down to the landlord's place and paying her deposit for the next month, Belly officially has a place to stay in Paris. She giddily called her mum to tell her about her official new address before getting ready to go for a celebratory lunch with her friends.

Chapter Text

[New scenes, not in the show] [Jumping ahead to when Belly and Benito are hanging out alone at some random bar after dinner. Belly could tell Benito likes her, she knows she does too. Just a little.]

His eyes had a tint of green in them. Belly hasn’t noticed it before. She sees his eyes wandering about on her face, starting from her eyes and making their way down to her lips. His light scent of sandalwood tickled her nose as she counted the tiny freckles that adorned his cheeks. They just enjoyed a delicious meal together, accompanied by zany anecdotes and slightly inappropriate jokes. Dinner turned out to be more filling than they thought, so they both agreed to skip dessert. Or at least they did before the drink at the bar. If Belly don’t stop counting the freckles on Benito’s face, the last thing her lips touch tonight won’t be the sweet-tasting cosmopolitan.

Belly: (clears throat) (shyly looks away)
Benito: (still in the leaning position) (low voice) Why’d you move away?
Belly: (eyes darting around the room) (awkwardly) …what?

Benito let out a chuckle before finishing the rest of his drink. Belly subtly hit her chest, trying to get her heart to stop beating so fast. She didn’t want to move; Belly was perfectly fine being where she was moments ago. But when the tip of their nose touched, Belly just had to move. After all, it had only been a month since… Maybe it’s a little too quick.

Belly: (mustering her voice) I’m not… I’m not ready for this.
Benito: (flirtatiously) For what? A kiss?
Belly: I’m not ready to start anything (gesturing to Benito, then to herself)
Benito: Hmm… bad break-up?

Belly shrugged. “Bad break-up” doesn’t quite cover everything that happened a mere 30 days ago. Maybe “horrible” … or “grotesque”.

Benito: (still flirtatiously) You know, they say the best way to get over an old relationship is to get into a new one.
Belly: (leaning in closer) (sarcastically) (poking fun at herself) I know. That’s what I did.
Benito: (pleasantly surprised) Really?
Belly: Mhmm, that’s how I wound up homeless in Paris for the last 3 weeks.
Benito: He kicked you out?
Belly: (shaking her head) No… It’s a long story.
Benito: So, tell it to me tomorrow at breakfast.
Belly: I have morning lessons.
Benito: Okay, lunch then.
Belly: Group work.

Pause. Benito is scanning her face once more, trying to figure out what Belly is thinking.

Benito: (cautiously)… afternoon tea?

A giggle escaped Belly. She found the situation she was in to be somewhat absurd. There’s no denying that she likes spending time with Benito. He’s humorous and clearly a superb conversationalist. More importantly, their conversations feel light. It’s nice interacting with someone she has no history with. Every exchange feels like a new surprise. Still, she wasn’t sure if she should continue her back-and-forth with Benito. She doesn’t want this newfound lightness to end.

Belly: I like hanging out with you, Benito. I don’t want it to end.
Benito: Why will it end?
Belly: I like being friends.
Benito: (nodding his head) hmmm.
Belly: I don’t know about being more.
Benito: Okay, so why don’t we start as friends-plus first?
Belly: Friends-plus?
Benito: (gesturing with hands) Yeah, right between friends and boyfriend–girlfriend.

Another chuckle escaped Belly. This was the lightness she missed so much. She can’t remember the last time her cheeks hurt this much from laughing.

Benito: So? What do you say?
Belly: I’m…considering it.
Benito: What’s more to consider? (playfully declares) It’s the perfect set-up for us.
Belly: What happens if you want to be more than friends-plus? Because I don’t know if I-
Benito: (interrupts) It’s okay.
Belly: What?
Benito: We can just focus on being friends-plus first.
Belly: You’re not afraid of getting hurt?
Benito: Why don’t you let me worry about that?

Refreshing. That was the word Belly was looking for since she met Benito. Her interactions with Benito it wasn’t like anything she had experienced before. She likes that she doesn’t know anything about him. She likes that he doesn’t know anything about her. All they know, all that they need to know, is that they enjoy spending time together. And whatever happens after, there’s no pressure between them. With Benito, Belly can be whoever she wants, and she missed this feeling dearly.

Belly: (big grin) I’m free for tea. I want to try the big croissant.
Benito: Yes, ma’am.

Chapter Text

The last box of Belly’s is finally opened and unpacked. She didn’t think she’d be moving this soon after finally landing a room a month ago, but one of her friends from school is moving out of her one-bedroom apartment, and it’d be stupid for Belly not to take it. Thank heavens for early graduates.

Benito: (wine bottle in hand) Okay, now that we’re done with the last box, wine?

The two of them lay on the couch, guessing what the characters on the TV are saying. It’s one of their favourite activities to do together ever since the time Belly accidentally clicked on a German remake of a French movie during their stay-at-home date. Tonight, they’re in Turkey.

Belly: (with exaggerated movements) Oh, please, Steve, please don’t leave me alone with the dolphins.
Benito: (sarcastically) You think his name is Steve?
Belly: (gestures to Benito that it’s his turn)
Benito: (with exaggerated movements) But the dolphin needs you, Claudia –
Belly: (chuckles) Claudia?
Benito: You need to stay with them so –

Boom! What’s left on the TV screen is a decimated island and a light beam shining down on it.

Belly: (chuckling) Oops. I think it’s safe to say that we’re wrong.
Benito: Way off.
Belly: What’s the movie about?
Benito: (checking his phone) It’s a sci-fi movie.
Belly: I thought it was a rom-com.
Benito: You think everything is a rom-com.
Belly: (playfully) Shut up.

Belly picked up the remote and looked for a different movie.

Belly: Okay, what language movie should we watch next?
Benito: (jokingly) Spanish.
Belly: (pointing to the TV) You notice how I didn’t choose French for that one?  

Turning back around, Belly was deep in thought, trying to choose which language they would watch their next film in. Portuguese may be too easy for Benito; maybe Italian? Italian is similar to French, but it wasn’t like Belly is native in French. Technically, it probably won’t count as cheating.

Bentio: Hey, I want to ask you a question.
Belly: (absentmindedly, still looking for an Italian film) Hmm?
Bentio: Want to go back to Mexico with me?
Belly: (chuckles) What?
Benito: Come to Mexico with me. I can be your personal tour guide.
Belly: (light-heartedly) I’m not going anywhere with you.
Benito: Why not?
Belly: Because… this is casual, remember?
Benito: I think you may be thinking too much about it.
Belly: Oh, really? What will we be doing in Mexico?
Benito: I don’t know, touristy things? Visit some sites, go to the beaches, you can try my grandma’s enchilada…
Belly: (hits Benito with a pillow) Visiting your grandma sounds casual to you?
Benito: I’m only saying it because my grandma’s enchiladas are the best in the country. It would be a shame if you didn’t try it.
Belly: (shrugs) Sorry, the decision is final.
Bentio: (scoffs) How can it be final when you didn’t even choose?
Belly: What?
Benito: You can’t make a decision without making a choice.
Belly: (eyebrows raised) Aren’t those synonyms?
Benito: … the point is, you can’t decide without understanding your choices.
Belly: (trying to understand Benito’s point) … so?
Benito: So, I’m going to get some empanadas to eat while we watch our next film, then you can decide if you want to have a better empanada. Aka, the ones my grandma makes.
Belly: (chuckles) I want beef.

Benito nodded and left. Flipping through the different movies, Belly started thinking about what Benito just said. “Can’t make a decision without making a choice.” These words swirled in Belly’s mind as she thought about all her decisions prior, particularly about the decision she recently made to lengthen her stay in Paris. Paris had been so much fun for Belly. She loves her friends, the life she made, and the old and current apartment she lives in. She looked around the room, glancing at the memories she had just hung up on the walls. Belly feels at ease with her decision; she can’t wait to make even more memories to fill up all the empty spaces on her walls. To think, if she didn’t choose to finish her studies here, she would’ve missed out on this part of her life. It seems that Benito is right; no decisions can be made without making a choice.
She had chosen to be with Conrad first, but the relationship didn’t go the way she had envisioned, so she decided to end the relationship. She chose to marry Jeremiah, but after planning a wedding with him, she decided to call it off. She chose to start a casual relationship with Benito, and now… now it seems she has to decide whether she’ll go to Mexico with him. Or, maybe, before she makes her decision, Belly should see what the other choice brings instead.

Belly looked over at a box sitting on top of her desk. Inside, there were letters from Conrad that he had sent her over the past few weeks. When she received the first letter, all the painful memories from Cousins came rushing back into her mind. She remembered the look on Conrad’s face at the beach, Jeremiah’s face at rehearsal, all their fights and disagreements. Belly didn’t want to remember any of it. The first time she was the return address, Belly immediately went to find an empty box, threw the letter in and shoved it into a corner of her wardrobe. Every time she received a letter, she’d put it in the hidden box and pretend that it didn’t exist. However, since she moved to a new place, her things are out and all over the place, including the box with letters she tried so hard to ignore. But like what Benito said, maybe it’s time she stopped ignoring it. Belly has to make a decision on whether to go to Mexico with Benito, but how can she make a decision without making a choice? Walking over to her desk, Belly took the letters out from the box, and finally, with slightly shaky hands and after three deep breaths, she read the letters.

After a long wait at the deli, Benito made his way up with piping hot empanadas in his hands. Fumbling at the door, he could finally grab the doorknob and turn it open. Entering her apartment, Benito saw Belly sitting by the window, sniffling as she turned the pages over. Belly had made it clear from day 1 that their relationship was never going beyond their current arrangement. When he asked for Belly to visit Mexico with him, Benito knew she was going to reject him. He still asked anyway, just in case a miracle happened and she changed her mind, but looking at her crying and smiling, reading through what he sees are opened handwritten letters, he knew he was right the first time around.

Benito: (slow chuckle) My time’s up, isn’t it?

Belly didn’t even hear him come in. Holding the letters in her hand, Belly knew her time was up, too. She doesn’t know what to say to Benito. She simply shrugged her shoulders.

Chapter Text

Dear Conrad,

Thank you for your letters. It’s sweet of you to write and to think of me.

Paris has been beyond fun. I moved (again), and I’m pleased to announce that I finally have a kitchen and a bathroom all to myself.  
It’s really nice here, better than what I ever imagined. The Seine is beautiful at night. I think you’d like it here.

Also, Benito is not bad news, he’s actually really nice. I think if you get to know him, he might become your new best friend ;)

p/s: you really are a doctor. It took me one whole day and night to decipher your words.

Talk soon,
Belly

Chapter Text

The show handled their reunion so badly that I needed to get my thoughts out before I finish the edit.

First, I hate the fact that they had sex before their much-needed talk. Belly and Conrad have yet to just talk as Belly and Conrad. Not as Conrad’s sister-in-law, not as Belly’s brother-in-law, not as exes, but just as Belly and Conrad. They have so many things to talk about, mistakes to own up to, apologies to be made, but the show didn’t address any of it. Instead of building Belly and Conrad to be the best couple ever, the show undermined them at every turn, which is really weird and frustrating.

Having Belly and Conrad have sex before their talk, then having Belly kick Conrad out right after having sex, just made Belly’s feelings for Conrad look like pure lust and only lust. It also makes her look wicked. Belly knows Conrad loves her immensely, and she knows she still has reservations. But instead of talking it out with him, she had sex with him just to tell him she couldn’t reciprocate after and didn’t even bother to see him out. That’s just evil. How in the world the writers thought that would translate to a great love story, I have no idea.

Second, I hate that Conrad constantly puts Belly on a pedestal. I saw a clip of her briefly admitting that she has her faults for their relationship straining, but instead of just letting Belly apologise and accept it, he just brushes it over and frames it as his fault (I don't actually remember if he did blame himself, but it's in my draft so I'm just going to keep it), which makes him look purely pathetic. A good relationship doesn’t need someone to be constantly bulldozed over. Why do the writers keep making Conrad talk himself down? I’ll never know. If anything, it just makes his self-worth look like it’s in the negatives, in which case, how would that translate to being a good partner? A good relationship inspires growth for the people in the relationship, and growth can’t happen if they keep brushing off what went wrong in the first place. Belly was wrong for getting together with his brother and for spouting mean words when she didn’t mean it, knowing it would hurt Conrad regardless. She should apologise to him and Conrad to say, “It’s okay, I forgive you.” THAT’S it. Again, there’s a difference between being pathetically in love and just being pathetic. Conrad was pathetic when he didn’t need to be.

Lastly, I HATE “I have brown hair and brown eyes, and I will always love Conrad Fisher.” NO. NO! I get the intent, but with all due respect, that’s a shit intent. Making Belly’s love for Conrad something that’s coded in her DNA is so so so so so so stupid. Belly is already such a passive protagonist, making her love for Conrad seem like something that she inherently can’t choose is STUPID. Belly’s love for him should be an active choice on her part, like how Conrad is so consistent in his pursuit of her. Love is only romantic when it is actively chosen, when someone wakes up every day and consistently chooses to be with you, no matter rain or shine.

Even if Belly and Conrad are scripted to be soulmates, a pairing made by the universe, a love born from the stars, it is only romantic and becomes more so if it’s also actively chosen by them here on Earth. Her confession to Conrad should come as a culmination of all the lessons she has learnt, and after going through everything, she is sure of herself and knows what she wants, thus having more confidence to pursue a relationship with Conrad with no reservations. It should NOT be because he’s part of her DNA makeup. It should be HER CHOICE. SHE CHOSE IT. SHE ACTIVELY CHOOSES IT WITH HER OWN SOUND MIND AND BEING. NOT BECAUSE IT’S IN HER DNA. NOT BECAUSE IT'S FUNDAMENTAL TO HER AS A PERSON. BUT BECAUSE OF HER LIVED EXPERIENCES, SHE KNOWS WHO SHE IS AND SHE CHOOSES HIM.

AGAIN, CONRAD SHOULD NOT BE A CORE PART OF WHO BELLY IS. HER LOVE FOR HIM IS BECAUSE OF WHO SHE IS. NO MAN, NOR ANYONE, SHOULD BE A CORE PART OF WHO YOU ARE. THEY ARE A PART OF YOUR STORY, NOT YOUR WHOLE STORY.

NO MORE PASSIVE LEADING LADIES IN 2025 AND FOREVER!

(There are more thoughts I have left to say, but I’ll let you soak in the adorableness that is the properly written Belly and Conrad first.)

Chapter Text

[New scenes, not in the show] [Belly and Conrad at the Seine after dinner.] [I have no idea what they were talking about in the show, so I’m just skipping ahead to their first kiss.]

The moon looks beautiful tonight. The cool breeze of Paris’ autumn nights, blowing by the city's night lights, was exactly where Belly wanted to be. Of course, the company’s great too.

Belly didn’t expect Conrad to show up when he did. For the last couple of weeks, they had been exchanging letters, he more than her. Belly had a big project due, so she couldn’t write back as frequently as she wanted, but it didn’t matter to Conrad. When he first saw her mail in his mailbox, he thought he might have been hallucinating. He read her letter over and over again, trying to imagine the words coming out of her mouth, guessing the inflexion and tone she would’ve used. He thought he had just got plain lucky to catch Belly in a good mood for her to return his mail, but then her second letter came. Then the third. Then the fourth. Her letters were always shorter than his, but it didn’t matter. Conrad hung on to every word she wrote like it was gospel.

Ever since they became pen pals, there were many occasions when Conrad wanted to book the first flight out to Paris, but he never had any excuse. He didn’t want to scare Belly away, not after they finally started speaking again. It wasn’t until he got selected to participate in a conference in Amsterdam, and after ten thousand thoughts and twenty thousand back-and-forths with his mirror, Conrad found himself at the doorstep of Belly’s apartment. The two spent the day touring Paris, going to all the places Belly adored, both of them lost in the city and in each other. Not that they wanted the other to know. Hitched breath and stolen glances painted their day, and their night ended with Belly giddily blowing out her birthday cake, inviting her 22nd with a longing kiss from Conrad.

She wants to pull him closer, even closer. Her arms are perfectly wrapped around his neck. Every curve, every nook and cranny, it was as if they were made to hold each other. Belly could taste the subtle hint of boeuf bourguignon on his lips. She really does like beef.

Conrad: (in a low voice) Happy birthday, Belly.

Resting her head on his shoulders, the two swayed slowly to the golden Parisian night. Belly didn’t think she would get the chance to be in Conrad’s arms again, dancing to nothing but the beat of their hearts. The last time she was in his embrace was when his mum was in the hospital, fighting for her life. Conrad wasn’t himself back then, and after all she did to finally be with him, Belly didn’t want to let go. It wasn’t like she didn’t have a say, but when both of his feet were out the door, Belly then decided that it was easier to close the door than to chase after him. It’s the same reason she didn’t run into his arms at the beach. She could’ve let herself melt into his arms first before pushing him away, but she chose to not only push him but let him bury himself in the remains of their relationship. They were together, then they were forced apart. They were together again and then chose to part.

The last time Belly was in Conrad’s arms like this, she ended up holding her knees, crumbling every second she was by herself. Though it feels different this time, what if the ending is still the same? She thought her and Jeremiah’s relationship would be different the second time around, too and look at how well that turned out.

Conrad must’ve felt her arms loosening. He turned towards her and saw her eyes sparkling. She was staring out into the river, her lips slightly parted.

Conrad: (softly)… Belly?

He was what she had dreamt about for a long time. She still remembers the first time their hands touched, the first time he pulled her in for a hug, the first time her heart fluttered just by hearing his voice. For as long as Belly can remember, all her dreams are about Conrad. Dreaming about when he would finally notice her. About when he would pull her in his arms. About when the tip of his nose touches hers as a smile spread across his face. She loved dreaming about him, it was always brought her such felicity. But dreams are fun to indulge in because they’re dreams. There’s nothing tangible about it; it can be whatever you want it to be. But reality is different. The mistakes are not as easy to erase. It’s not easily forgotten either. Conrad tucked Belly’s hair behind her ears before leaning in again. She wants to close the gap, too, but she couldn’t help but continually think back to what happened the last time they were together. Belly didn’t want her dream to end.

Belly: (pulls away)
Conrad: (didn’t move) (concerned) Belly?
Belly: (hesitantly) … I can’t.
Conrad: (taken aback) What?
Belly: (trying to swallow her tears) I can’t do this.

His arms fell to his side. They just spent a wonderful day together, and the kiss… Conrad felt the kiss tingling down to his toes, and he knew she did too.

Conrad: (in shock) What?
Belly: (takes a step back) (softly) I can’t do this.
Conrad: (trying to hold back tears) What do you mean?

She didn’t know what to say. All she knew was that the light, romantic air around her became thick and heavy. It felt like it was choking her.

Belly: This… I can’t do this again.
Conrad: Do what?

The subtle chatters of the night owls by the river felt like they were laughing at her. Poking fun at her. How dare Belly think that this time will be any different? A change in scenery doesn’t mean a change in relationship. It just means when the relationship goes awry again, the background will be different.

Belly: … I can’t do this again…with you…
Conrad: (choking up) Why?
Belly: (sighs and looks away)
Conrad: (weakly) Do you not love me anymore?
Belly: What?
Conrad: … Is that why –
Belly: No! It’s not… (scrambling for words) How do you know … What if … (trails off)
Belly: (still scrambling) What if you’re only doing this because of your mum? She said when we were kids that I was going to end up with either of you. What if you’re just trying to fulfil her –
Conrad: (stunned) You think I’m here because of my mum?
Belly: (loss of words) I –
Conrad: Belly, what I feel about you has got nothing to do with her.
Belly: How do you know that?
Conrad: Because I know myself? I know the butterflies in my stomach when I’m around you. I recognise the increased beating of my heart whenever I’m near you. (pleading eyes)...because after everything that has happened, I tried so hard to move on, but you’re always in my mind.
Conrad: (stepping closer) (gesturing to his heart) You’re always here, Belly. You are wherever I go.

Belly recognised the increased beating of her heart too. She just couldn't ignore how it was awfully similar to her heartbeat when they broke up.

Belly: (timidly) … I’m scared of what’s going to happen next.
Conrad: (completely lost) What’s going to happen next?
Belly: (exasperated) We’ve done this before. We’ve been here before. What if the same thing happens again? What if we repeat history?
Conrad: We’re not going to repeat it.
Belly: But how do you know that?
Conrad: Because I love you!
Belly: And you didn’t before?

Looking at his eyes, seeing him breathing heavily, Belly knew she was right. They’ve been here before. It’s time they learnt their lesson.

Belly: Conrad, I don’t think we should –
Conrad: I do.
Belly: What?
Conrad: I loved you then, and I love you now.
Belly: …
Conrad: Back then, because of my mum, I couldn’t be who you wanted me to be. And now –
Belly: I never wanted you to be anyone but yourself. And who you are …
Belly: I just… I don’t think I can handle… being hurt again.

This whole time, after finding out his brother cheated, Conrad thought he could be the one who loved Belly right. He knew he had screwed up before, but he had worked on himself, and he thought he had finally become the person that Belly deserves to be with, the person who could shower her with the love she deserves. After what Belly told him on the night of the wedding rehearsal, after the voicemail she left, after the letters she replied to, Conrad thought Belly loved or at least liked him enough to try again. But 5 years later, 5 whole years later, Belly is still scared of starting again with Conrad. She could go through with marrying Jeremiah even knowing that he cheated, but she can’t even consider trying again with Conrad.

All this while, Conrad thought he could be the one for Belly, to love her the way she wants, to love her the way she should. But how can he be the one, when his love cut her this deep?

Conrad: (heartbroken, flatly, like he’s making a statement) You’re scared of me.
Belly: (flustered) I –

It was as if the sky knew. The clouds rolled past, taking the silver rays away from the stars, shrouding the city in darkness. The silence by the river, the lone splashing of water by the edge of the wall, it pierced through her heart and his soul.

Conrad: (lets out a heavy sigh) … I uh, I should go. Should probably go catch my train
Belly: (resigned) … right.

Turning on his heels, Conrad hoped that if he walked fast enough, and just a little bit faster, the wind could carry his tears away, and he wouldn’t have to face the fact that the future he had in mind - the one with Belly by his side - would never exist. Quickening his steps, Conrad wanted to run fast and far away into the abyss when he heard Belly calling out his name. It was probably the last time she would ever do so too.

Belly: Conrad!
Conrad: (stops and turns around)
Belly: (still standing in the same spot) Your luggage! They’re at my place!

Oh right.

Chapter Text

[New scenes, not in the show.] [They’ll be cute again after this sequence.]

For one last time, Belly and Conrad sat side by side, the end of their relationship approaching with every second that ticks by. Belly closed her eyes, trying to memorise his presence. How it feels to have him sitting beside, his scent, his soft sniffles. Before the image slips away, Belly thought back to before, when her face was buried in the crook of his neck. How his fingers intertwined hers. How his chest rises and falls in perfect symphony with hers. In the cab, Belly looked at the car ceiling, looking at the yellow lights flashing in beat to her heart. Conrad’s head was turned away from her, but she still could see the frown in his eyebrows through the window’s reflection. Feeling the slight heat radiating from his hands, if Belly stretched her fingers out just a little more, they would’ve touched. But they couldn’t, not after what just happened by the Seine.

Belly watched as Conrad climbed the stairs in front of her, etching the rhythm of his steps into her mind. The moonlight is pouring through the stair windows, and every time he passed by one, his hair would catch the light, and it’d appear blonde. She always did think Conrad would look good as a blonde; it’s a pity now she’ll never know. Stepping in front of him to unlock the door, his scent wrapped around her again. If Belly turned around right now, she would be facing his chin, his broad shoulders completely blocking her from view. She'd be able to put her arms around him, pulling him for a hug she already missed so much. Unlocking the door, Conrad slid past her and entered the room. If Belly had stopped him then, they would be leaning up against her door, her head resting against his hands. That’s something he used to do when they were together. It’s been a long time since he did it, but she could still remember how his hands felt like against her head, how it could wrap about her face. It’s why Conrad washes his hands any chance he gets now. Belly used to lament about having pimples randomly pop up because of how Conrad loves to squish her face. Her face was always so soft; there was nothing he loved to do more than kiss her all over.

Conrad: Goodbye, Belly. Take good care of yourself.

For one last time, Conrad leaned in and kissed Belly’s forehead. It was still as soft as he remembered it. Belly closed her eyes, trying to remember his breath on her head, the outline of his lips on her skin, the gentleness of his kiss. His hands were full of his bags, but he was still holding onto her. His touch was soft, his thumbs gently rolling over her wrist, his hands resting on the back of her waist. Belly longed to freeze the moment, making everything stay the way it was right now. They were in Paris, and after dinner with friends, they headed back home to unwind together. If she turned her hands over and reached for his, she knew he would stay. But she couldn’t do that. Belly can’t do that anymore. What right does she have?

As Conrad’s lips left her, Belly didn’t dare to open her eyes. She didn’t want to see him go. Playing back all the memories she had of Conrad in her head, it always ended with them leaving each other. But not anymore. Conrad’s visit to Paris was a lovely surprise to her, one that she wants to leave untainted. Their conversation by the Seine shot daggers into her heart, but it’ll be nothing compared to watching Conrad leave. Again.

When Belly opened her eyes once more, she was standing in between an empty hallway and an empty apartment.

Belly: (to herself) ...bye

Flopping herself down onto the couch, Belly reassured herself that she made the right decision. They tried before, but it didn’t work out. The first time their relationship ended, Belly thought she just might die. She didn’t know it was humanly possible to feel the pain she felt in her heart. Her tears then could fill an ocean. It was a miracle she still could open her eyes; Belly thought the tears would’ve sealed it shut for life. Belly barely made it out the first time around, and feeling her twisted heart feels right now, she knows she won’t be able to go through it again. It was the right decision. It was the correct decision. Being with Conrad was one of the loveliest times in her life, it was exactly a dream come true. But like Belly has learnt many times over since then, dreams aren't real. Dreams are fun because they aren't real. And once they become real, they end. Just like they did right now. If Conrad didn't show up at Paris, Belly could still pretend they were friends and there would be a next time they'd meet. But now...

Before Belly spiraled any further, her phone rang.

B’s friend’s text:
Joyeux anniversaire Isabel! Enjoy these lovely pictures from your party <3

Chapter Text

Looking through the photos from tonight, a tired, but still small smile crept on Belly’s face. Her first few weeks in Paris are nothing short of a disastrous mess, especially with how tiresome apartment hunting was. Without her friends by her side, Belly wouldn’t have made such wonderful memories, and she wouldn’t have the luxury of stewing in her own emotions in an apartment by herself. Setting her phone down, Belly glanced at the photos she had on her walls. Each and every one of them shows some of the happiest times in her life. Like the time when she tried her first escargot, it was tastier than she thought. Or the time when she and her friends tried to throw a secret party on their school’s rooftop and they barely made it up the ladder before being chased by the security. Or the time they saw Belly’s favourite French actress casually scrolling through the park near her place. She thought she was going to pass out from excitement standing so close to a celebrity. Belly’s time in Paris is nothing short of magical, and to think she could so easily have missed it if she hadn’t got on the flight. If Belly had gone through with what she thought she should be doing, she would’ve missed out on the best times of her life. In fact, if anything was different, Belly wouldn’t have been here.

If she ended up marrying Jeremiah, if she cancelled her enrolment when she said she was going to, if she didn’t sign up for the exchange programme because she thought her grades weren’t good enough, if she didn’t attend her university, if anything happened differently, Belly wouldn’t be in Paris. She wouldn’t have had the chance to study in Paris; she wouldn’t have had the chance to lengthen her stay in Paris. Everything she has been through, everything she has done, after all the hurt, all the pain, after everything she thought she wouldn’t make it through, she did, and it brought her to Paris, to right where she is supposed to be. Had she avoided it, had she avoided all the inconvenience, all the tough conversations, all the things she didn’t want to do, she wouldn’t be here right now. She wouldn’t be Belly. She survived everything she thought would kill her, so why was she still so afraid?
So what if things may not work out? She’ll still survive; she did it many times before. And what if things do work out? Then she’ll get everything she has wanted since she was a child. So why should Belly be scared?

Grabbing her keys and one other thing, Belly dashed out the door.

[New scenes, not in the show.] [Welcome back Belly and Conrad.]

He couldn’t stop replaying it in his head. Their kiss by the river. Her head snuggling into his shoulders. Her arms wrapped around his neck. He could feel her little smile as he tightened his embrace. When Conrad boarded the flight to Paris, he ran through multiple possible scenarios of what he thought might happen. Belly running away. Belly frozen in shock. Belly squealing in surprise. Belly is still being with Benito. Belly being busy with her work. Chances are slim, but what if Belly was out of town the day he visits? What if he couldn’t find Belly at her apartment? What if Belly has moved on?

A thousand and one thoughts flooded his mind, but none of them included slow dancing with Belly by the Seine, reminiscing about the times they spent together. He never thought she would hold him close, telling him that she’s happy he’s here. Conrad never thought he would have the chance to kiss Belly again, telling her how much he loved her and how much he missed her. At least he got to be with her again, even if just for the length of one dance.

Staring ahead at the empty tracks, trying to engrave them by the river into his mind, Conrad was so preoccupied that he didn’t even hear someone gasping for air right next to him.

Belly: (out of breath) (heavily panting) (hunching over) Conrad.
Conrad: (staring ahead blankly)
Belly: (touched his shoulders) (still panting) (still out of breath) Conrad.

He thought he was hallucinating.

Conrad: (standing up) Belly?
Belly: (still out of breath) (gesturing the distance of the station’s entrance to where Conrad was sitting) … Why is it so … (gulps) far … oh my …
Conrad: (holding his arms out, steadying her) What are you doing here?
Belly: (gathering her breath) (one deep breath in) I love you.

What did she just say?

Conrad: (trying to suppress his smile) What?
Belly: I love you, Conrad.
Conrad: (slight grin) Yeah?
Belly: (slight smile) Yes.

This must be it. This must be what it feels like to hear angels sing.

Belly: (gulping) (still slightly out of breath) … I’m so sorry for what I said.
Conrad: (patting her back) No…
Belly: (speaks quickly from adrenaline rushing) Yes, yes, I’m so sorry for what I said at the river and at the beach. And I’m so sorry for what happened back in Cousins. You didn’t deserve any of that.
Conrad: (gently whispering) It’s okay…
Belly: (rambling on) No, it’s not, because I didn’t mean any of it. I mean, I might’ve meant it a little, but it’s not what I really meant, you know? I was …
Conrad: (slightly amused) Slow down…
Belly: I was just … (looks him sincerely in the eyes) I was just scared. I was just scared of getting hurt again.
Belly: (sincerely) But just now, after you left, I looked around my apartment and realised I was scared of a lot of things. I was scared of what was going to happen if I cancelled my wedding. I was scared of flying across the ocean and living in a foreign country by myself. I was scared that I would be homeless for the rest of my stay in Paris.
Conrad: (curious) Homeless?
Belly: (waving him off) Long story.
Conrad: (chuckles) Okay,
Belly: (continues rambling) I was scared that I wasn’t going to fit in. I was scared that I was never going to survive here, but I did.
Conrad: Thrived.
Belly: Hmm?
Conrad: Thrived. You thrived here.
Belly: (chuckles) Yeah, I did.
Belly: (calm; gathered) I did everything that scared me, everything I thought would kill me. But I still did it. I survived.
Conrad: Thrived.
Belly: (slight smile) Thrived. (deep breath) I’m still scared of us repeating history, but more than that, I still love you. Conrad, I love you. My love for you is bigger than my fear. It’s bigger than everything. It’s bigger than I know how to contain. So, I don’t want to anymore.
Conrad: (grinning from ear to ear) Yeah?
Belly: (nodding her head) (big smile on her face) So if you’d still have me…
Conrad: (cuts off) Of course.

There it was again. The same fluttering of her heart as the first time their lips met. The same light-headedness he felt when his chest pressed against hers. If only they could be closer, even closer together.

Belly: (pulls away) I love you, Conrad. Across all universes, you’re the one I love. I love you.
Conrad: (big stupid smile on his face) I love you, Belly. With all my heart. With all of myself.
Belly: (giggling) (leaning in for more quick pecks before pulling away again) Hey, you want to see something cool?
Conrad: What?

Untangling herself from his warm embrace, Belly touched her neck and adjusted her necklace forward. Changing his flight to Paris might be the single best decision Conrad ever made in his life. Pulling her back, Conrad wants to make up for every second they spent apart.

Belly: (pulling away after a while) (giggles) I’m getting thirsty.
Conrad: (chuckles) Yeah?
Belly: Just a little.
Conrad: (suddenly serious) So… you’re still… scared?
Belly: (casually shrugs) A little but… a life without risk isn’t a life well-lived.
Conrad: (nodding) Hmm… poetic.
Belly: (cheekily tossing her hair back) Thanks. I got it from Vogue.
Conrad: (chuckles) Oh?
Belly: Yeah, I can say it in French too.

Holding her finger up, Belly tried to visualise the Vogue article she had read a few days ago.

Belly: (clearing her throat) (with slight uncertainty) Un…une vie sans risque n’est pas une vie bien vécue.
Conrad: (giggles) (flirtatiously) You sound great in French.
Belly: (playfully bows)
Conrad: If I didn’t know, I would’ve thought you were native.
Belly: Merci.
Conrad: (sheepishly) De rien.
Belly: (draws breath back in surprise) You speak French? (teasing) Were you reading the language guide on the plane?
Conrad: (shrugs nonchalantly) I had some time on the plane. Figured why not?
Belly: (teasing) Oh? Ok then, Doctor Fisher. Let’s see if you can guess what this French phrase means.
Conrad: Mmm?
Belly: Don’t worry, it’s an easy one. I think you can get it.
Conrad: Yeah?
Belly: (nodding her head while counting her fingers) Mhmm…Eight syllables.
Conrad: (slightly taken aback) Eight?

Wrapping her hands around his neck once more, Belly pulled herself in right next to his ears with a barely suppressed giggle.

Belly: (whispers sultrily) Voulez-vous coucher avec moi?

Re-edit:
[Welcome back 18+ Belly and Conrad.] [I have no idea how to write a sex scene, so I’ll just lift it from the show.] [To breathe some colour into their relationship and make it seem like it’s more than lust, in the midst of their make out session, Belly and Conrad exchanged quick words.]

What a fascinatingly weird day this was. First, Belly’s long-suppressed love-of-her-life showed up at her door. They spent the entire day together sightseeing, touring around various famous sites of Paris. Belly celebrated her 22nd birthday, had an intimate and delicious dinner with her friends, then had a lovely stroll by the Seine with the man she sort of imagined would walk alongside her one day. Then they got into an argument, and Belly felt like she was going to die while they sat there with a big wall in between them on the cab ride back to her apartment. Belly thought she was just going to open her stash of wine her friends gave her for housewarming and rot in bed until she wiped their last ever fight out of her mind.

Clearly, this wasn’t what Belly ended up doing on her bed. Thank you, birthday wishes.

Belly: (giggling) (lying on her bed, waiting for Conrad) You’re going to be so late for your train.
Conrad: (taking off his pants) And whose fault is that?
Belly: Better make it quick then.
Conrad: (Climbed onto the bed) (Hovering over Belly) (grinning) Not my style.

And then they went on to have some more adult fun. Happy birthday, Belly <3