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At long last, Dan and Arin had fulfilled their promise of streaming the rest of Super Mario 3D World. It was a momentous yet unusual stream, with the camera fixed on the two grumps as they sat—or rather, slouched—on the couch in the recording room, but there was nobody else with them. The laptop sat beside Dan, neglected as he had to play the game, but out of the corner of his eye he could still see the flow of commentary from the chat coming in. While he was sure they would offer some useful hints about how to clear the level, he was too preoccupied with throwing Arin off the edge and uselessly attempting to avoid inevitable death.
“Don’t you dare die on me, I’m still in my bubble— oh you whore,” Dan said, deadpan, for what seemed like the hundredth time, while Arin laughed uncontrollably. The stream had so far been going on for over four hours, and for whatever reason Arin was in absolutely no hurry to finish.
Danny, however, was becoming increasingly tired from ongoing gameplay without breaks. He knew it showed on his face, too. And on top of that, to make the stream more interesting, the Game Grumps Twitter had put out a poll to ask what the Lovelies wanted as a challenge for whichever Grump scored the least amount of points on a level. Ultimately, it was decided that the Twitch chat would suggest a punishment for the loser, and the winner would pick out of the suggestions.
Overall, because Arin—being the dick he is—had studied up on green star locations and shit, Dan was suffering a horrible losing streak. So far he had licked the floor, eaten a vomit-flavored Jelly Bean, cut off a lock of hair, sat through a string of horrible Yoda jokes, been forced to text embarrassing and untrue things to Ross, said ‘I’m a Sexy Widdle Baby’ enough times to fill a book, and much more. On the occasion when he did win, Arin, of course, pretended to be fucking pleased, and happily went through with his punishments (which Dan had to admit, were probably equally as bad and/or stupid as his own).
With Arin as Princess Peach and Danny as Toad, they restarted the level they had just died on.
“Okay, ’ll admit it,” Arin began, grinning stupidly at the gamepad, “I’m a festering pile of horseshit at this level. Like, I have no clue what I do here, or where to go or—FUCK!” He punctuated his sentence as he ran directly off the edge.
“Good, maybe you’ll let me win for goddamn once,” Dan replied, maybe a little too bitterly to be perceived as joking.
Just as he expected, Arin shot him a squinty-eyed look. “Someone’s a little salty salmon,” he whispered into the mic, but clearly so Dan could hear him.
Danny snorted and tried to look cheerful as he gripped his Wii remote so hard he was sure his knuckles were turning white. He was determined to win this one.
Peach bubbled back onto the screen and popped oh-so-conveniently near a secret room where the star was hidden.
“HOLY FUCK!” Arin shouted into the microphone, probably murdering the ears of the Lovelies at home. “Lucky shit, huh? Sorry you’re not as fuckin skilled as me, Daniel.”
Dan groaned and subsequently sent Toad careening over the edge.
After a few more minutes of deaths and lighthearted jokes, Arin found the second star they missed. At once, Dan sent Toad chasing after it, but Peach already had the points.
“Lovelies at home you might want to start getting some punishments ready for Danny boy,” Arin said, aside, to the microphone. Meanwhile, Dan was trying his best not to yell. Unlike Arin, when he got angry at video games, it was real hatred, rather than the instinct to scream that his co-host seemed to have.
“No promises, there’s another star and if I can kill these enemies—“ Just as he said it, Toad walked straight into a goomba and died. Even though he was angry, Dan couldn’t help but laugh with Arin at that one.
In the midst of their laughing fit, Arin said, “Speaking of the punishments, I’m actually surprised we haven’t seen any super bad ones.”
Dan shot him a skeptical look. “What the fuck are you talking about!? You cut my hair!”
Arin laughed again, “No, no I mean there haven’t been any like super violent ones like… oh, I don’t know… kill yourself.”
“Would you really give me that punishment?”
Shrugging, Arin replied, facetiously, “I dunno maybe if you were being super annoying.” He glanced at Dan to see if he was laughing, then added, “I’m totally kidding dude.”
Dan faked a sniffle and said, in a broken voice, “Well if that’s how you really feel then maybe I will!” At that, Toad jumped off the edge of the level.
Arin bust out laughing, but was cut short when he spotted the third star and leapt for it. “Dan’s death revealed this beautiful sweet star to me!”
Without warning, Dan slammed his Wii remote into his lap. “GOD FUCKING DAMN IT!”
Arin continued to laugh at Dan’s outburst and retrieved two cat bells for them. “C’mon buddy, it’s the end of the level, and we need the golden flag. Bubble that booty over here.”
“I will do no such thing,” Dan mumbled, but did exactly what Arin asked. “I wonder what the Lovelies will make me do now,” he added, with a sigh, accepting the fact that he wouldn’t win this level.
“Better be something fuckin’ glorious,” Arin said, his Peach heading full steam for the flag. She successfully glided to the top, and hovered to wait for Toad. He, on the other hand, went plummeting for the bottom of the pole. “So, probably don’t have to wait for the score screen, right?”
“Shut up,” Dan snapped back, arms crossed, staring at the screen. He still wanted to see how poorly he really did.
“You know, we haven’t gotten any really dirty challenges either…” Arin began, but stopped when Dan glared at him.
“I wasn’t gonna mention it…” he said, “But now I’m sure you’ve brought on a new wave of shit I have to do.”
Arin shrugged. “I’m not the one who lost.” Just as he said it, the score screen revealed he had won by over three times the points Dan earned. “Plus, you know, the fans want me to do something down and dirty, I don’t see it as punishment. Get super erect, fondle some balls, suck on some wiener, hell, I’d do it in front of thousands of people, and especially you Dan.”
“Dude, don’t talk about gay shit while I’m trying to read,” Dan laughed, albeit halfheartedly. As his eyes flicked over the laptop screen, there was only one repeated suggestion coming from the Lovelies. He rolled his eyes and looked into the camera, though he felt his cheeks getting hot. “Guys, come on, we’re not gonna do that,” he said, curtly.
“Who says? I’m the one who picks!” Arin shouted, grinning deviously. He took the laptop away from his friend and tried to scroll through for good ideas. However, he was having just the same luck as Danny. There was only one word being repeated by everyone in the chat: ‘KISS!’
“I mean…” Arin began, rubbing his hand over his goatee, then said into the camera “In case you aren’t reading the chat for whatever reason, the general consensus is that I should press my kissably-soft lips against those of my dear friend Daniel here.” Then, to Dan, he added, “Probably wouldn’t be the gayest thing we’ve done on the show. We’ve shown our bare, pallid, asses on a stream, too.”
Trying to play up a joke, Dan leaned into the mic and said in the deepest voice he could muster, “Wouldn’t be the first time we’ve kissed either.” This, of course, was a lie. They had done some pretty gay shit, but it had not yet escalated to kissing on the mouth.
Arin picked up on the joking vibe and laughed along. “Alright, c’mon let’s do it. I mean, it’s punishment for literally nobody involved, but at least it’s what they want.” He glanced at Dan as subtly as he could without the camera picking up on his look of, ‘Are you okay with this?’
Dan swallowed and thought for a split second. They were on this stream to entertain, and it wouldn’t exactly be the root of any rupture in anyone’s relationships, right? It would be funny, just like every other comedic attempt they made on the show. He nodded with a small chuckle, putting his Wii remote aside. “Yeah, why the fuck not?”
‘Because Arin is your friend and also married and you’re straight,’ he thought.
Following cue, Arin set the laptop and gamepad aside and turned on the couch to completely face his friend. Already, Dan felt a lump forming in his throat seeing the posture, but followed suit and reached up to pull back his hair. Arin laughed at that, and Dan said, defensively, “It’s so my ridiculous hair doesn’t block us from the camera!”
“While Danny prepares for apparently the most strenuous activity of his fucking life, I’ll give you Lovelies plenty of time to set up your capture so you can gif this later,” Arin said to the camera.
“Shut up, asshole,” Dan laughed nervously, mostly out of range of the microphones in his new position.
“You ready?” Arin whispered, also too low for the mics to pick up.
“No. You?”
“Whenever you are.”
Dan silently cursed himself for being so jittery. Arin did gay shit like this all the time, so he didn’t come off nearly as nervous. After a moment’s preparation, Dan bit the bullet and reached up to hold Arin’s face between his hands. At once, he noticed the thin sheen of sweat on the other man’s temples, and the scratch of his goatee against his palms. Being around Arin so long, it was strange to be touching him in this new and unfamiliar way. He had planned on initiating the kiss at some point, but he never did. He just took his time looking into Arin’s big, brown eyes, searching his expression for any hint of emotion. Arin, however, appeared totally neutral and relaxed, somehow. Dan found he lost track of where he was, as he almost always did when they did these kinds of exercises before recording. Though, he must have been taking a little too long, because he noticed Arin’s brow furrow in confusion.
“Sorry,” Danny whispered, taking shaky breath. With only a split second more of preparation, he decided to ‘apply the fuck it adjustment’, and leaned forward, his eyelids fluttering closed on instinct.
Thankfully, Arin met him halfway, and before he knew it, his lips were pressed against his best friend’s. Somehow, even after the awkward conversation beforehand and all of the gay jokes, it didn’t feel quite as weird as he had anticipated. Dan just figured, in the moment, it felt like he was kissing just anybody else.
Arin pulled away about half an inch, and Dan felt himself relax. ‘That was quick,’ he thought, not particularly disappointed or relieved about it. Arin hovered there, his breath coming out in hot puffs against Dan’s. However, before he could open his eyes again, Arin’s hands had moved to his hips and their lips met again.
While Dan was caught off guard, he didn’t pull away; he was too nervous to move. Once again, Arin took lead, pressing another open-mouthed kiss against his lips and squeezing his hips gently. Instantly, Dan found himself relaxing further, melting into the touch. His hand slid up to Arin’s hair, lightly running his fingers through the familiar feeling, soft strands as their lips moved together. It was all out of habit. Dan treated him as if he was any girl he had ever kissed for the first time. Experimentally, he pulled Arin closer, his hair still tight in his grasp, and nipped lightly at his bottom lip. Arin hummed in approval, barely audible. Dan did it again, combining it with a light tug of Arin’s hair. He received the same sound, but felt Arin’s short nails start to dig into his sides. The sensation sent a warmth through his chest he couldn’t describe or pin any emotion to.
Dan had no idea how much time passed, having completely forgotten about the stream. With Arin gently sighing into his mouth, his strong hands firmly at his waist, the wet slide of lips, it was practically impossible to think. At first he could imagine kissing a girl, but now the short hairs of Arin’s goatee scratching against his skin reminded him of where he was, and who he had his hands on. At what point were they going to stop, he wondered. He was in absolutely no rush to have it be over; he was actually enjoying himself more than he had expected. Arin smelled like candy and mint body spray: not typically the most enticing scent combination, yet Dan found himself being intoxicated by the aura. He breathed deeply through his nose, pressing himself even closer until he was just about to climb onto Arin’s lap.
Arin must have noticed the change in mood, because without warning there was a tongue swiping at Dan’s lips and pushing into his mouth. Simultaneously, his hand slid down from where it rested on Dan’s slim waist—strategically past his ass—to his thigh, where he rubbed his thumb in small circles against the fabric of his jeans. The surprise elicited a small gasp from the older man, though just audible enough that he was sure the mics picked it up. Slowly, Arin was pressing back into him, almost like he would push him onto his back. Dan half-wished he would. He wanted so badly to know where this was going, if Arin was just playing this out as a joke or not. However, the tongue in his mouth was pushing deeper, and the hand on his thigh was squeezing and stroking in time with the kissing. As a result, Dan noticed the pool of heat forming in his abdomen, and the blood flooding to his crotch. His mind was swimming with conflicting thoughts. Of course he didn’t want to stop now, but it occurred to him that they were being streamed, and the last thing he wanted was for fans to notice a fucking boner through his jeans, especially just after kissing his best friend. His mind told him to stop for his own sake, but his mouth had other plans. His own tongue slid past Arin’s and—fuck—Arin outright moaned, and it sent shivers down Dan’s spine. The desire burning in his chest quickly melted into frustration; he knew he had to pull away now. As he did, perhaps most agonizingly, he heard Arin sigh at the absence.
Their eyes met, their bodies pressed against one another, all sweat and nerves, and all of a sudden, realizing what he had just done, Dan’s hands and arms began to tremble. His eyes were wide and his reddened lips parted, like he wanted to say something but couldn’t. Arin cocked his head, concern washing over his expression. So much silence had passed between them, and the whole room felt heavy. To cover up the awkwardness, Arin’s face broke into a semi-forced grin and he started to laugh. The sound of it immediately warmed Dan’s heart, and he laughed along, still holding Arin’s face.
“You know, I realize that was your very first kiss and everything,” Arin started, relaxing his posture and gradually taking his hands off of his friend. “So be honest. How was it?”
Dan snorted, tearing his hands away from Arin’s face and crossing his arms in front of his chest. “Right, well, wouldn’t you like to know?”
“I try to receive as much constructive criticism as I can get.”
“You taste like skittles,” Dan replied, his voice wavering, but he tried to pass it off with a laugh.
Arin giggled in turn, visibly blushing. “Um, and you’re fucking welcome.”
Dan rolled his eyes and checked the timer. Shit! “Oh my god, we just wasted almost all of our time. We have to stop at 4 hours and 30 minutes.”
Arin looked over his shoulder and frowned, seeing they only had 45 seconds left. “Wow, fuck. Well, next time on Game Grumps… more gay shit?
“That’s not true,” Dan interjected, a little bit too quickly.
“How about one more for the road, sugar?” Arin asked, turning on him in the most unsexy way possible, and showing off his many chins.
‘Yes please,’ Dan thought, though, thankfully, his brain-to-mouth filter was working today, so instead he said, “Why would we do that?”
“Good luck?”
Dan pretended to sigh and mull it over like it was something he was super opposed to. “I guess—“
At that, he was flat on his back, Arin nearly crushing him as he covered his face in kisses, saying stupid things like, “The Lovelies were so mean to you today, Daniel,” and, “You’re my sexy widdle baby, you know,” while Dan laughed uncontrollably.
“Please just let this fucking stream end,” he whined through his laughter, eyes fixed on the timer. 10…9…8…7… “Arin what the fuck are you doing—“ 4…3…2…1…
The stream was finished.
“Hey, it’s over buddy,” Dan said, quietly, through a big smile.
Arin, however, didn’t move. He mumbled something like, “Too tired, sleeping here,” and collapsed against his friend with a soft groan.
Dan suddenly felt the wave of exhaustion overtake him as well, so he had no qualms with that notion. Trying his best not to push Arin off the couch, he reached for a switch to turn off the big lights they had used for filming, and he closed out of Twitch on the laptop. At once, the room plunged into darkness, besides the light from the TV.
“Scoot over, you’re squishing me,” Dan whispered, sounding strained.
With a dramatic sigh, Arin rolled over onto his back, giving Danny room to squeeze in next to him. Once he had fully settled, Arin reached over and pulled him into a warm embrace at his side. Dan sank into the touch, nestling his head next to Arin’s and reaching up to absentmindedly play with his hair. Arin's eyes were already shut and he was breathing deeply and evenly, but Dan wasn’t ready to fall asleep quite yet.
“Arin,” he said softly, trying to cover up the nervousness in his voice. “Can we talk about it?”
That woke Arin right up. His face snapped towards Dan’s, confusion in his eyes. “What?”
Dan twirled a strand of Arin’s hair around his finger and sighed. “I’m just… that was all just a joke, right?”
Arin thought for a moment, then stared at the ceiling. “It’s whatever you want it to be.”
“But you were joking?”
“Sure,” Arin replied, bluntly, and closed his eyes again.
Dan frowned and propped himself up on his elbow. “That’s not really helpful, Arin,” he said, anxiety rising in his stomach. “I’m just confused is all.”
Arin opened his eyes, blearily, and nodded. “I know man, but I am too, seriously. I would love to talk about it but, Jesus, I’m so fucking tired and...” his words drifted off as he rubbed his hand over his face. “Can we sleep on it?” he asked, turning on his side so he faced Danny.
After a moment of thought, Dan nodded and closed his eyes. “Good idea,” he murmured.
A long stretch of silence passed, filled only by the two men’s deep breathing. Dan was exhausted, but his thoughts and the strong arms wrapped around his middle kept him awake. He was shifting restlessly, trying to get comfortable without waking Arin, when soft voice startled him.
“You’re a good kisser,” Arin mumbled. He sounded like he was sleep-talking, but when Dan turned to look at him, he was staring right back.
“I… thanks. I mean, so are you,” Dan replied, heat rising in his face.
Arin only smiled in response and nuzzled his face into the crook of Dan’s neck. “I can’t wait for twitter to blow up tomorrow,” he said, with a chuckle. “Lovelies are probably losing their shit.”
Dan laughed good-naturedly. “At least we give them what they want.”
“And what I want,” Arin corrected him.
Dan fell silent, suddenly hyper-aware of his hand resting against Arin’s cheek, the scratch of facial hair beneath his palm. He was hit with the memory of how Arin’s beard had felt against his face. Not knowing what else to say, he laughed. “Uh… sure, I bet. You’re gonna make some fans jealous if you keep kissing me like that,” he said, hoping to steer the conversation.
Arin huffed quietly and pressed a sweet kiss against the skin of Dan’s neck. “They better be fuckin’ jealous,” he mumbled.
Dan shivered, surprised at the touch. “I’ll make it worse,” he whispered, and at that, all of his reservations vanished, not bothering to care if it was gay or not. He pulled back and kissed at the corner of Arin’s mouth, testing the waters.
Arin gave a small smile and turned to face Dan fully. He raised an eyebrow as a final confirmation before catching Dan’s lips in his own.
It was just a soft, ghostly touch, but it was enough to take Dan’s breath away. “Fuck,” he whispered, with a smile, and kissed Arin again, with more confidence.
A familiar warmth bloomed in his chest, full of affection as his lips moved against Arin’s. The feeling covered his initial doubts, and the need for any kind of explanation. This whole night had been confusing as hell, but while trapped in Arin’s strong embrace and tasting the sweetness of his lips, Dan felt like he was right at home. It seemed as though nothing needed to be said.
That was okay. They’d talk about it in the morning.