Chapter Text
It almost felt like falling. A rapid descent, the weightless feeling in one’s stomach as they plummet down toward earth, nothing to slow them. The overwhelming panic as they try to take a breath but can’t, the fear of the ground approaching but not yet arriving. And when it finally does, when they crash, all they can see if darkness. Cold, impersonal. And then a bit of light and they feel as though they are floating. Up, and up, and up…
Lena awoke with a scream, tears cascading down her face as the grasped frantically at the sheets below her. Strong hands held her shoulders down, trying to keep her from thrashing and she distantly wondered how long she’d been screaming. Her vision was blurry from tears as she tried to make out the shape above her in the darkness. Where am I? Who... who am I? What's happening? She wondered, her brain trying to process everything, to separate reality from the dream. She still felt like she was falling, but the hands on her shoulders made it clear that she wasn't.
“Shhh, relax chérie. I’ve got you, you’re here.” Came a soothing whisper. Lena took rapid breaths, trying to force her body to calm down, but it was difficult. Widowmaker held her down until she stopped thrashing before pulling the brunette into her arms.
“I’ve got you, you’re safe. You didn’t vanish again, you’re still here.” She whispered as she stroked Lena’s hair, trying to comfort the frightened girl.
“I-I’m here… I’m here…” She repeated softly, gripping her lover’s arm, as if she was afraid of vanishing again. Her voice was rough and shaky, hoarse from screaming in her sleep. I'm here... I'm here. I didn't fade away...
“That’s it, good girl. Remember what we’ve been practicing? Are you ready?” She asked softly, watching as Tracer tried to compose herself, nodding. I can do this, I'm still here.
“Let’s begin. Un, sight. Describe to me what you see, mon amour.”
“I see… I see amber. Warm, amber eyes.” She murmured, staring up at Widowmaker, who smiled a bit and nodded.
“Very good. Deux, smell.” Lena closed her eyes, inhaling slowly.
“Vanilla… and lavender. Your shampoo.” She noted, recognizing the scent easily.
“Très bien. Trois, sound.”
“I hear… chirping. There are crickets outside… maybe cicadas.” She was visibly calmer now as she spoke, smiling a little. Their trick was working, grounding herself using each sense, one by one.
“Quatre, touch.”
“I feel smooth sheets… still a little cool to the touch from where you’ve been laying.” Lena’s fingers brushed over the sheets, relishing the feel of the fabric. Touch was always one of the most important senses for her to regain, proof that she was really there.
“Good girl. Last one now, you’re doing very good, ma chèrie. Cinq, taste.” As soon as the words left the other woman’s lips, Lena leaned up to capture them with her own in a firm kiss. She broke away after a moment, panting softly.
“I taste mint and just a hint of coffee from earlier. You know luv, it may just be my favorite thing in the world to taste.” She grinned, making Widow laugh softly.
“Is that so, mon chou? Then by all means, feel free to taste it again.” She held her closer as Lena kissed her hard.
I'm here... I'm with Amélie. I'm safe...
Nights like this were never easy. Nightmares of fading away, of vanishing in the slipstream. But with her lover here, keeping her grounded and safe, Lena knew she could handle it. And she knew that as long as she was with her, Amélie wouldn’t let her fade away again.