Work Text:
"We could have one, you know," Tenzin tries to convince Lin.
"Say we were to have a child, there's no guarantee the child will be an airbender," Lin points out.
"We could still try," Tenzin replies nervously.
"Tenzin, I'm 33. Even if I had one healthy child, a second would likely be a high-risk pregnancy," Lin sighs, "if you wanted kids more than you wanted me, why did you marry me? Even if we chalk it up to being young and in love, why stay with me for this long if you knew you wanted children? You could have had any of those acolytes to be your perfect wife and mother to the brood of children you suddenly want."
"Why won't you consider it?" Tenzin asks for the millionth time in seven weeks.
"When we got married all those years ago, you told me I was enough, but I'm not going to fight with you anymore. We have been arguing in circles for months. If you think changing yourself and your goals to conform to ideals you never quite agreed with is going to replace your dad, you have another thing coming to you," Lin yells.
"You aren't even considering this," Tenzin frowns.
"I never wanted children, Ten, you never wanted children. Now suddenly, I'm supposed to put my life on pause to have your children because you think it would help you grieve? The love of my life wants me to be something I'm not, to accomplish something that is highly unlikely to happen, or fill the void the way he thinks it will. I'm sorry, I'm not gung-ho about this," Lin crosses her arms.
"Lin, you aren't listening or trying to understand me. Don't you care about what I want? You're being selfish!" The words are out of his mouth before he can stop them.
"A marriage is supposed to go both ways T. What about my wants? These past few months, I've worked fewer hours and trained less just to spend time with you whenever you needed me. I hate staying here, but I suggested it because I knew it was the best thing for you in your father's last days. And now you want me to have your children that you aren't even sure you want for the right reasons? What's next, Tenzin? Will you ask me to leave my job? Give up my dreams of seeing the world? Everything I've done in the past six months has been for you because I love you so much, but I'm being selfish by drawing the line here? " Lin fires back.
"So where do we go from here?" Tenzin sighs as his missteps become clearer and clearer.
"I'm going to give you some space to think about what you really want. Don't string me along," Lin grabs her go bag.
"Lin," Tenzin reaches for her.
"No," she stops him , "I'm going to stay in the city tonight."
"At least take Oogi," he sighs.
"Fine," Lin accepts before turning to the door.
"And Lin?" Tenzin takes a deep breath, "I love you, I really do."
"I love you too, airhead, but is love going to be enough to get us through this one? Sometimes the love of your life isn't meant to be your love for life," Lin sighs before leaving the room.
For the first time in their 12-year marriage, Tenzin watches his best friend leave when they aren't on good terms. After arguments, they would still sleep in the same room and talk it out within the next day or two, or in the case of this particular argument, sweep it under the rug until it came to a boil. His heart aches when he realises just how much he must have hurt Lin for her to go to their townhouse this late.
He tries to sleep, but his mind is more concerned with mulling over his feelings. Normally, on nights like this, he would reach for Lin and worry about whatever it was in the morning, but tonight, he's forced to face his fears head on.
He always knew that Lin didn't want children, and that didn't bother him until now. In fact, it made things easier because he wasn't keen on the idea either. Lin had a point about their odds of having an airbender and them having a child wouldn't solve any of the underlying things that made the idea cross his mind in the first place. Was he willing to walk away from the love of his life to please people whose opinions didn't matter to him until his father died? Would it be worth it in the long run? Sure, people said kids were a joy but he was content without them. And just who was he really doing this for? His father was oddly okay with his choices, and he always approved of Lin for Tenzin. Aang was a romantic through and through, believing their love would conquer whatever life threw at them.
'As it should,' Tenzin thinks to himself.
Was he being irrational over a legacy he didn't want for himself in the first place? Was he really considering having children just to subject them to the same things he fought against for years? And Lin, what was she thinking now? Did she think he was considering leaving her for someone who would have his children? He harped on this topic over the past few months but especially in the seven weeks since his father died. How many times and ways did she say no or deflect when children came up? Was he that set on the idea that he refused to accept her hard no and really think about what she said? And Lin was right, going through with this doesn't bring his dad back. She spent the last few months comforting him. She held him as he cried and did whatever she could to help him grieve. If there was anyone who understood the workings of his brain, it was her by a mile.
He gives her the night and space she likely needs right now. The sleep was not great, but he made it through the night with dreams of a certain Chief of Police. Tenzin skips morning meditation with the acolytes and his family to clear his head. Instead, he packs a small bag and spends a few days meditating on Mount Makapu, hoping to sort through his thoughts. He is almost sure of his decision but he needs some advice.
When Tenzin returns to the island he can feel the acolytes' disapproving eyes on him. He braces himself for a lecture from someone about skipping the kid's training but it doesn't come. He finally reaches the yard of the main house when he sees his brother storming towards him.
"What did you do to her?" Bumi tackles his brother to the ground.
"Get off me," Tenzin tries to move but Bumi has him pinned.
"No. Linny doesn't cry for no reason," Bumi shouts, “she definitely does not sob like she did that night.”
"She what?" Tenzin frowns.
"You need to get it together, Tenny. I don't get your non-traditional crap, no one does except her, and you broke her. Sometimes I'm convinced she could do better," Bumi huffs.
"She can," Tenzin doesn't meet his brother's glare.
"But for some reason, she loves you. She changed her whole life for you. Spirits Tenzin, that woman would do almost anything for you," Bumi pokes his chest.
“I fucked up,” Tenzin sighs.
“You damn well better fix it,” Bumi glares at him.
"Bumi, get off him," Eira sighs.
"We're done anyway," Bumi obliges.
"Tenzin, your mother would like to see you," Eira informs him.
"Thanks," Tenzin dusts himself off and continues walking towards the house. His mother shoots him a sad smile when he enters the main house and Tenzin now understands the looks from earlier.
"Come on Tez, let's have some tea," Katara calls from across the room.
"Did everyone hear us a few nights ago?" Tenzin sighs.
"We heard some shouting and some of the acolytes saw Lin leaving upset," Katara informs him sadly.
" I can't believe I made her cry," Tenzin's voice cracks, still not accepting his brother's words.
"Afraid so," Katara confirms.
"I was being stupid. I have spent the last few months trying to convince her to try for a baby," Tenzin admits.
"Nothing's wrong with wanting a family," Katara counters, "but I thought you didn't want children."
"I thought us having a child would help carry on dad's legacy," Tenzin admits, "maybe another airbender."
"You and your siblings are his legacy, and he was so proud of that," Katara reminds him.
"Why do I feel like something is missing?" Tenzin sighs.
"Nothing will fill the void, Tenny. We just have to cherish the memories," Katara reaches for his hand, "but that doesn't explain why Linny was that upset."
"She felt like I wasn't listening to her, and," Tenzin takes a deep breath," I called her selfish."
"And after?" Katara prods.
"She gave me space. Mother, I don't want space, I want Lin. What if she thinks I would leave her over this?" Tenzin frowns, "What if she thinks that's what is already happening?"
" Tenzin, do you actually want a family? And could you see yourself leaving Lin to get that family?" Katara tries to clarify her son's decision.
"Lin is the only woman I could imagine spending the rest of my life with. I don't need those other things," Tenzin declares, wanting to be with her as soon as possible to begin making amends.
"It's late, you should get some sleep and figure out how you'll make it right in the morning," Katara rises from her seat.
Tenzin knew there was no point in going to bed now. He had to fix things before he could sleep. He grabs his glider and his key for their apartment hoping to make things right with his wife.
When he enters their townhouse, he prepares to dodge any rocks Lin may send his way but they never come. The bedroom they normally share is empty and upon further inspection, the apartment is untouched. There was only one other place he could think of, and if the owner was in town, his mother would need hours to heal him. He makes his way to the Beifong's city house, hoping that his wife is still there. When he arrives, there is a light in the living room. Taking a deep breath, he knocks on the door. Before the door is opened, his feet are bound in the earth. The door swings open and he comes face-to-face with his irritated sister in law.
"Hey, Su, didn't expect you back in the city so soon after the funeral," Tenzin smiles nervously.
"Give me one reason why you are here, and it better be good," Suyin crosses her arms, "my sister doesn't mope for no reason."
"I'm an idiot," Tenzin says, looking at the floor.
"Tell me something new," Suyin rolls her eyes.
"I don't have anything new to say. I need to see her," Tenzin sighs , "I need to remind her how much I love her."
"You're lucky Lin loves you," Suyin gives in, " she's in her room. And Tenzin? I hope you fix whatever it is, or the world may lose another airbender."
He cautiously approaches the bedroom where he finds Lin sleeping fitfully. Before he knows what he is doing, he moves to soothe her. As he rubs her back, he wakes her in the process. There is a tug on his heart when he is greeted by tired red eyes.
"If you're here to fight or break my heart, can you do it in the morning?" Lin croaks, "I had a terrible week at work."
"No that's not why I'm here," Tenzin insists, "I came to apologise for not listening and making you feel like you weren't enough."
"How do I know that this isn't just the beginning of you growing to resent me? What if your father's dying is the catalyst for the end of us?" Lin looks out the window, and she braces herself for his answer.
"He would have wanted me to love you unapologetically just as he loved mother. Dad's death is a reminder to live the life that makes me happy because I don't know when it will end. No version of life makes me happier than the one that I have with you right now. Lin, you are enough and will always be enough. If anything you're more than I deserve, especially these last few months when you put aside your own discomfort and suggested we move back to the island for me to spend dad's last months with him when I was trying to avoid it hoping it wouldn't come to pass," Tenzin explains while pulling her hand to his heart so she could feel how serious he was being.
"Are you sure?" Lin asks, still unsure given his recent behaviour. The unspoken 'Sure about me? Sure about our future together? ' was clear. They got married so young and had to figure a lot of things out on the way. As twenty-something year olds, it was easier to ignore the world's expectations about children but Aang's death sent them into a tailspin. They were at a crossroads and drawing things out would only make matters worse.
"How could I not be sure when I love you so?" Tenzin pulls her into his arms.
"You are my other half," he kisses her temple
"You are the most amazing thing that has happened to me," he kisses her cheek.
"You are the only person who truly gets me," he kisses her jaw.
"You are my first and only love," he kisses her neck.
"You are enough," he kisses the trail of tears on her face.
"You will always be enough. I will spend the rest of my life proving all those things to you," he kisses her soundly on the lips and she hesitates briefly before responding.
"Tenzin," her voice cracks when they need to catch their breath.
"Yes my love? If you need space, I can return to the island, but I need you to know all those things before I go to sleep," Tenzin attempts to leave the bed but Lin pulls him towards her.
"We can talk more in the morning, but I need you to hold me tonight. To know you're still here," Lin admits.
"Tonight and every night for the rest of our lives," Tenzin pulls her to him, and she makes herself comfortable against him.