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Every weekend, it’s like clockwork. Kim Jongin will sit on the same wooden bench under the same willow tree with the same book and coffee. Oh Sehun will sit across the pond from him and sketch. At first Sehun started with the trees around him, but then he started drawing the boy with the tousled brown hair. Sehun doesn’t know whether he knows that he is being drawn out, but Sehun knows that he has about 12 pages filled with the same boy that Sehun doesn’t know why he’s so obsessed with the sight of. All Sehun knows is that this boy comes here every saturday at 11 am with a cup of coffee in one hand, and a hardbound book in the other. He stays for about an hour and a half before leaving. Last week the boy stuck a lavender carnation behind his ear and wore wire reading glasses and Sehun thinks that that was the best day of his week.
This morning Sehun notices something is a little different with Jongin. Usually he will be already sitting at the bench when Sehun strolls through the entrance, but today he wasn’t. Fifteen minutes later, Jongin slowly stalks to the bench with his book and coffee nowhere in sight. His head is bowed and his hair is tucked into a hoodie. His legs are clad with sweatpants, rather than the usual dark jeans. Sehun’s eyes trail Jongin all the way from the metal fence entrance to the usual bench. Sehun uncrosses his legs and stops doodling the willow tree to focus on watching him. Jongin sits down onto the edge of the rickety wooden seat and leans his elbows onto his knees, staring intently at the pond. Sehun can’t see, but the area surrounding Jongin’s eyes are red from lack of sleep and tears. Jongin thinks about what happened earlier this morning and no matter how peaceful and happy this park makes him, the dam broke and his shoulders started to shake as silent sobs escaped past his lips. Sehun noticed the slight shivers and felt an immense compulsion to comfort the boy.
Sehun is caught in an inner turmoil. Does he be bold and cancel his secret 2 week plan to finally talk to the boy, or does he keep his distance? Sehun makes a short pros and cons list in his mind to help with his decision making. This ended up being completely futile as Sehun found his feet making their way over to the path that would lead himself to the other side of the pond where Jongin was sitting, despite the fact that the cons definitely outweighed the pros. Sehun stopped dead in his tracks when he realized he had no idea what to say in this situation. He’s standing 3 feet away from a guy that he as shamefully been drawing without his consent for the past month.
“Can I help you?” Sehun hears a shaky voice say quietly.
“What?” Sehun says, his eyebrows creasing together confusion.
“You’ve been staring at me for the past 2 minutes, have you never seen someone with a broken heart before?” The crying boy looks up to him with a cold look on his face that sends shivers down Sehun’s neck and back.
“Honestly, I don’t know why I’m here. I see you every weekend. I saw you crying and I guess I consider us as friends. It’s stupid, I’ll leave you alone. Have a good day.” Sehun turns to walk away when he hears Jongin calling for him again.
“Come, sit.” Jongin waved a hand and moved over to the left side of the bench to leave space for Sehun on the right. Sehun slowly approached the bench with his head bowed. The first minute of him sitting there it was silent, his feet tapping on the grassy ground.
“I confessed today” Jongin spoke suddenly and Sehun, who had staring at the same spot in the grass, shot his head to look at the boy.
“To whom?” Sehun asked after he realized Jongin wasn’t going to elaborate beyond what he had already said.
“My best friend. I’ve been in love with him since I was sixteen.” Jongin said, still not making eye contact with Sehun. He had his arm leaning on the armrest, and his chin in his hand on that same arm. The other was lying on the bench beside him and Sehun had an overwhelming compulsion to reach out and grab it.
“What did he say?” Sehun dared to inquire further.
“What do you think he said? He said he was still in love with his ex-girlfriend. I can’t believe how stupid I was. Do you know anything about flowers?” Jongin looked up to Sehun and started to gesture with his hands. He didn’t give Sehun the chance to respond before continuing on.
“He’s a florist. I decided it would be a smart idea to show up at his house with red chrysanthemum’s. Different flowers have different meanings. Roses are typically known for love, but red chrysanthemum’s also mean the same thing. I thought I would avoid being typical by getting him a different flower with the same meaning but he caught on right away and shut me down. I can’t believe how embarrassing that was.” Jongin finished his monologue by groaning and burying his face into his hands.
“That’s cute, not embarrassing. It’s very sweet and thoughtful of you. Honestly, I’ve never had a guy confess to me before. I would love to get that from any guy.” Sehun spoke to Jongin who had started to sniffle again.
“Really?” Jongin looked up to Sehun again with a look that Sehun can only describe as a child that was just told that he couldn’t get the candy he wanted at the store. It made Sehun choke on nothing.
“Yes. I don’t know if you want to take my word for it though. A guy could confess to me with a note and I would still melt. I am such a sucker for little gestures like that. My very first boyfriend drew a smiley face on a piece of paper and then gave it to me in 10th grade and kept it in my pocket with me everywhere.” Sehun started smiling softly at Jongin hoping to make him grin.
“Are you single now?” Jongin asked, glad to finally have the opportunity to take the focus off of him.
“Oh yes, very single. When I said my first boyfriend I meant my only boyfriend. We broke up 8 months after getting together when his parents found out he was gay.” Sehun laughed.
“What’s so funny?” Jongin questioned, sitting up a little in interest.
“Nothing, my life is just sad.” Sehun laughed at himself again. Jongin heard this and finally cracked a smile and chuckled.
“Hey! Don’t laugh at my misery!” Sehun shouted lightheartedly between laughing gasps, and this somehow made Jongin laugh harder. By the end of their banter both of the boys were cackling whilst trying not to fall all over eachother.
“Well, at least you have dated a guy before. I dated a girl once but that ended in, like, a week because she found out how to check my internet history.” Jongin started laughing again when he said the last part.
“I’m sick of being single, you know? It’s been 5 years since i’ve been in a relationship. I’ve forgotten what it’s like have someone.” Sehun confessed. Jongin hummed in agreement. They fell into a comfortable silence, both with slight grins on their faces.
“Well, I better get going. My shift should be starting soon.” Jongin said, rubbing his hands on his thighs. Sehun looked up at him and offered a small smile.
“Yeah, of course.” Sehun nodded, mimicking the shorter boy’s body language without noticing.
“Before I leave-”
“Yes?”
“I’m Kim Jongin.” He offered a hand to shake out to the other boy, who had stood with him.
“Oh Sehun.” He said as he shook the other brown haired boy’s hand with a smile. Jongin would be lying if he said that seeing that smile again didn’t make his day a little brighter. As they went their separate ways, neither could keep their minds off the other. Sehun retreated back to his undesignated bench and continued to sketch the same tree from before, but now doodling small chrysanthemums underneath the shade of the leaves.
Jongin didn’t realize that he had a shadow of pink temporarily etched onto his cheeks. Jongin didn’t realize it, but everyone else did. Both of the broken boys would never admit it to anyone, but both of them spent a little more time the next morning getting ready.
Once Jongin arrived at the park the next day, he noticed something occupying his space on the wooden bench. As soon as he got closer he identified a small bunch of tulips held loosely together with twine. Jongin picked up the bouquet with a sheepish grin on his face and opened the small envelope that was tucked between the paper and the twine. The card inside the envelope contained neat hangul writing saying “See, I can google flower meanings too.” Jongin looked up to the other side of the pond to see Sehun sitting with his legs crossed, a small smile on his face, sketching again with an identical tulip tucked behind his left ear. Jongin decides whilst he’s walking the path to the other bench that even though this situation isn’t near to the one he anticipated, maybe it was the one he needed.