Work Text:
Laura didn't expect to spend so much time outside. Carmilla usually slept for the majority of the morning and early afternoon, so Laura thought about exploring a little more outside of her mansion, those paths so sure as she had walked them so many times in her father's company.
She wanted to clear her mind from Carmilla. Though her friend had revealed to her her vampire nature already, and Laura had welcomed the trust Carmilla had put in her and revealed her such a thing, Laura had never doubted herself about her intention of staying close to her friend, or lover, she wasn't sure how to define the nature of their relationship yet.
Part of her wanted to believe that there could have been a future for Carmilla and Laura as they were, two girls in love. One though was centuries old, and an otherworldly creature, something Laura never thought could have existed if she hadn't been so sure Carmilla was who she had told her she was: the girl she had cradled and hugged her in her sleep when Laura was merely a child.
Carmilla’s tears that had poured down her cheeks as crimson instead of water hadn't scared her more than sleeping in the dark had always done since her infancy. Maybe, Laura thought, part of her had almost expected the revealing of Carmilla's nature, for she had been sure the girl's face was too familiar since the day she had showed up at her house, frail and sick, left to hers and her father's care for the length of the summer. More times than she should have she had tried to inquire about Carmilla's past, finding the girl raising a wall of defence around her life previous their meeting… until the day prior, as everyone else had been busy with attending the funeral to notice their absence, and Carmilla's blood stricken cheeks when she decided to tell her so much about herself, her past life, her true name, her true nature as a monster, though Laura, after the wave of initial surprise had ceased to crash over and over in her stomach, had simply accepted as part of Carmilla. She would have never considered her friend, her lover, as a monster.
Too lost in thoughts Laura didn't notice she had wandered too far, too deep into unknown woods. Only brown bark and thick canopy surrounded her when she blinked fast, surging herself out of her thoughts that seemed to both clutch at her throat and release some long thread of spoil in her stomach, it being held for too long too tight, waiting for Carmilla to reveal anything about herself that would make more sense. Now Laura knew, there was no turning back from knowledge, and she realised that the more she knew the less she understood.
Laura looked around over and over, searching for any marking points. A deep sword slash on a trunk that marked her father's passing and therefore a trail to follow to get home, a beaten path to walk onto in the direction of her mansion, but there was nothing recognisable around her apart from the familiar sounds of the forest: birds chirping and wings flapping fast, the wind howling too strong swaying between the trunks and grass below Laura's shoes.
By the way the thick cover of leaves and the vegetation of grass and flower stems moved, whipping her skirt, Laura knew the wind had grown way stronger than when she had left the comfort of her house, the close yet unreachable, presence of Carmilla.
With an almost silent gasp she realised she was lost. Her following of her own racing thoughts had led her to get lost as a somber parallel of what might have happened to her mind if she kept following the breadcrumbs of doubt after doubt.
“Carmilla?” She whispered to no one. Carmilla couldn't reach her, how could she? The girl was probably awake now that the sunset painted the visible sky in purple shades melting in a threatening orange. Night would have come in a matter of an eye blinking and she would be lonely in the dark, lost and without any possibility to call for rescue.
Laura started to walk backwards, or so she thought, as she was only following the patches of grass that had been stepped on, flattened in small points by her skirt and shoes. The only real thing keeping her moving instead of freezing in place and curling around her knees, waiting for the ending of the terrifying promise of night and utter complete dark, was the thought of Carmilla's worry as she frantically searched the mansion for her companion, her worrying growing stronger by the minute fueled only by the unknown about Laura's whereabouts.
As if a curse had been cast upon Laura, thought much lighter and not even comparable to the one Carmilla was suffering, a light drizzle started to fall from the thick clouds covered sky, first shield at best as the canopy could do, then, as the drizzle became rain, not even the tall trees could avoid it to penetrate through their green layer and fall upon Laura's hair and shoulders.
Despite it still being summer, the combination of nighttime and incessant rain made Laura shiver in her dress that now stuck on her like a suffocating second skin, something she wanted to get rid of, yet she couldn't, so she let the sky pour on her and blind her vision more than the dark was already doing now running in the direction she was almost sure she had walked before.
Yet how could she be so sure? She had been so lost in her thoughts, all about Carmilla, all about her touching the soft skin in between her thighs before being aware of her true nature, yet regretting nothing of it, to really make out her surroundings in a way that would allow her the certainty of returning home sure on her steps.
Laura didn't know how much time she had been walking. She hadn't lost herself to panic and started running as she knew it would have made things even more complicated and confusing. Caressing the damp trunks of the trees, the usually brown and now wet bark a rough reminder that she was still anchored to reality, she felt her legs getting more and more exhausted and her feet hurting more than they had ever done before.
“Carmilla wait for me” her mind still was reaching out for Carmilla even if knowing that she was lost in the woods, as if the reality of the danger she was in hadn't sunken in yet, fogged by the thought of Carmilla's fangs, her bloody tears, Laura's handkerchief getting stained in crimson as she wiped her friend's cheeks over and over.
Then, as if a miracle had struck just when she had lost almost all her strength, her fingers, still brushing every tree she got close enough to touch, felt something unmistakable underneath them.
The deep slash of her father's sword. A gash that sunk deep in the rough wood. Never a sword wound had felt so comfortable in Laura's mind. A promise of a path that would have led her home as her eyes tried to make sense of her surroundings covered in the black curtain of the night and casually intermittently flashed by a gut twisting purple and white light of a thunder above Laura's head.
Laura's breathing was shallow as she kept searching in the almost complete dark surroundings for the next mark, another gash that instead of spilling blood, poured out comforting tears of rainwater that Laura didn't have the time to spill from her eyes.
After finding four more sword marks, with uncertain steps she walked towards where the sky, though dark grey, allowed her to see the lightning in a more clear way. The thick sheet of canopy was slowly dissipating and her steps became less frantic, more measured, and she started to count the seconds between one flash of light and the following one to keep some sort of crooked track of time.
Her blonde hair previously styled with care in elegant curls was drenched in rain and strands fell on her forehead and stuck on her cheeks every time she looked down in search for the gravel path, so sure it must have been close already.
When she heard the crunch of little stones and dirt under her shoes she allowed herself to let out a heavy breath, a wave of comfort surged from her throat and escaped her lips in a shaky short laugh. All she had to do now was keep following the path, her way home.
Not a lot of time passed before in the far distance she finally took sight of warm orange dots of light. For a brief moment she was confused by why almost all the lights of her mansion, pouring orange and yellow out of its windows, but realisation briefly followed. She had been missing for hours, and now she guessed midnight had already passed. Everyone must have been worried for her, most of everyone her father. Then, hope pierced her heart like a painless dagger. Maybe even Carmilla was worried, slowly pacing in her room and fearing the worst.
Laura started to run, carelessly stepping on puddles that stained her skirt and shoes in mud, only the tender thought of Carmilla's arms around her kept her running until the front door was in front of her. Laura tried the knob and it gave way with a familiar sound, the door not creaking or squeaking as it was always well oiled when she opened it.
Only a heavy silence welcomed Laura home, she couldn't hear frantic footsteps or calls for her name. She wondered for a second if everyone had already given up on searching for her, not daring to step outside in the heavy rain and dark woods surrounding the almost isolated big house.
Her doubts disappeared immediately when the unmistakable face of Mademoiselle De Lafontaine appeared in the doorway of the living room, followed by her whole figure almost running towards a shivering Laura.
“Laura!” the woman almost screamed “You're here! Are you wounded?” the woman almost embraced a cold and drenched Laura, searching for blood or scabs, and when she found none before Laura even had the chance to speak, the woman let out a heavy breath, inhaling immediately afterwards as if her worrying had only increased.
“You will get ill! Look at you, you're soaked from head to toe!” the governess tone was one of worry and scolding at the same time, but Laura didn't pay more attention to it than needed.
“I'm well, you shouldn't worry too much” Laura tried her best to sound reassuring, to hide the fear she felt searching for her way home that still lingered at the base of her neck “I really need to retreat to my room and…” she didn't have the chance to finish her sentence before the woman almost cried out.
“Let me follow you and help you! You must get rid of these wet clothes before you will catch a fever!”
“I will take care of it, I thank you, but I'm so exhausted I only wish to discard these clothes and get to bed” Laura knew she was lying and felt bad for it. Mademoiselle De Lafontaine only wanted to be of support, but Laura was longing too much to the point of her head aching to see Carmilla, to tell her she was well.
The woman took a step back, placed her hands on her chest taking a breath.
“As you wish Laura, but please don't withdraw from asking for help you need it” she said, her voice strangled and worried.
“I won't, thank you” Laura replied with the best smile she could muster, and started to walk deeper into the mansion, disappearing from her governess’ sight when climbing up the staircase and turning right to where her bedroom was.
Laura waited to hear Mademoiselle De Lafontaine’s steps retreat in the opposite direction, ticking on the wooden floor as she returned to her room, or to attend whatever she was doing before Laura's return, then the girl turned on her heels and started to walk in the opposite direction, following a staircase that led up.
As she slowly approached Carmilla's room, droplets of rainwater marking her passing, her heartbeat quickened, her throat slightly closed forcing her breathing to unsteady again.
Laura gently knocked on Carmilla's door. She tried her best not to make too much noise, but she had to wait merely five seconds before the familiar pale face of Carmilla appeared as the door opened. The dark haired girl, frail looking as ever, maybe even more now that she was shaking, made a strangled yet quiet sound at the sight of Laura.
Laura became suddenly more aware of her appearance, probably terrible, maybe even miserable and her eyes fell to the floor at the bare foot of Carmilla peeking from her nightgown.
“Laura! Oh my dear Laura” Carmilla whispered urgently before taking Laura's hand and dragging the girl inside her room with more force than necessary. Laura stumbled, but straightened herself before she could fall and felt Carmilla's hand slip from her damp one. The other quickly closed the door behind them and locked it securely.
“Oh Laura, what happened to you?” Carmilla whispered, walking quickly in front of Laura again, taking in her damp hands in hers “I was so worried, I couldn't stop fearing the worst when the clock chimed midnight and you hadn't returned yet”.
“I got lost…” Laura murmured, slightly embarrassed as she took sight of herself in the large mirror framed on the wall of Carmilla's room. Her blonde hair had turned brownish, her dress was stuck to her body in a way that was everything but elegant and her corset stood out too much as the fabric of her dress lost its form, drenched in rainwater.
“Laura, my dear Laura, I was so terribly afraid for you” Carmilla discarded, thought gently, Laura's hands once again to quickly shift to her back, starting to untie Laura's corset as fast as she could, without elegance and little care if some pulled strings caused Laura to huff as her lungs got pressed.
When it finally went loose, Laura felt Carmilla's delicate fingers grazing her wet dress, her sensitivity raised by the cold fabric stuck on her skin, and shivered slightly.
“I can do the rest myself” Laura muttered, but Carmilla unexpectedly leaned her soft cheek on Laura's shoulder. Her presence behind her, her touch on her shoulder, made Laura's cheek warm up a little.
“My dear Laura, you can't imagine my joy in seeing you here and safe” Camilla smiled in a soft voice against Laura's neck, sending pleasant shivers down her back “I was so terribly afraid I wouldn't have seen you again” Camilla's tone had lowered to almost a whisper “Where were you?”
“I got lost in the woods… I lost track of the marks on the trunks and realised it too late, when sunset had already come” Laura felt silly telling such a story. She thought that only a child could have been so foolish to get lost in thoughts, thoughts of Camilla, and get lost. She was already nineteen and such mistakes were unforgivable. Laura feared for a second her father's scolding once the wave of anxiety would have passed and the relief of seeing her safe again would have left space for condoning her behaviour. Her father had never been really angry with her, but she never gave him such a reason before.
The thoughts of her father's firm words as he would have maybe prohibited her to venture in the woods alone again got immediately suffocated when Laura felt Camilla's hands slide down the back of her damp dress. Her touch was like the one of an angel bringing her up to heaven and grounding her to her feet at the same time.
“How did you lose track of time, dear Laura? You've been outside for more than five hours” Camilla's voice was sweet and delicate as ever, her cheek had moved from her shoulder to her neck, pressed in a warm embrace “I don't know what I would have done if you didn't come back” Laura felt Camilla's small hands on her shoulders, slowly unsticking the cold wet fabric from them and shivered slightly.
“Come near the fire, please” Carmilla moved towards the small fireplace in which lively orange flames gave off a welcoming warmth. Laura gladly obliged at the suggestion and, without thinking about it too much, even a little out of her usual character, she approached the fireplace and sat on the floor. No carpet could be stained by rainwater, there was none in front of the fireplace, and she was too cold to pay too much attention to elegance. When she sat down and the warmth of the fire hit her cheeks like a hot slap, she withdrew a few inches, yet glad for the comfort.
“Let be help you Laura” the blonde girl's hair had started to dry, though disheveled and falling on her shoulders in a messy way.
Laura's teeth chattered for a brief moment as she pressed her lips together and immediately after she felt Laura's hands on her back, shoulders and neck, lowering the torso of her dress. Laura let her throat involuntarily make an almost strangled sound of pleasure as Carmilla’s hands caressed her bare back that she felt filling in waves of rising and disappearing little goosebumps.
“Carmilla…” Laura whispered, leaning into the touch as if it was tearing apart the feelings of terror and anxiety she felt when lost in the woods, little Carmilla's fingers tracing the length of her spine to her lower back.
“Yes my dear Laura?” Carmilla sweetly answered “Your skin is so cold, you'll get ill”
Laura's legs were shivering badly under the cold skirt and as Carmilla's hands helped her own she got rid of the last piece of damp fabric. A wave of relief washed over her like the incessant rain had done before when only the almost burning heat of the fire danced in orange light on her almost naked body. She was still cold, but grateful to be safe… in Carmilla's room.
A small hand ran through Laura's hair, now almost dry and light blonde again, but she suddenly gasped when she felt what was unmistakably skin against her bare back. Carmilla had also discarded her nightgown, Laura realised, but before she could think more of it, Carmilla's arms wrapped around her waist from behind her and the girl's long black hair fell in front of Laura's shoulder when the other girl leaned her cheek once again against the pulse of her neck.
They stayed for what Laura felt like hours and seconds at the same time hugged like that, the glistening flames painting Laura's body in orange shadows and tricks of light. Her pale skin looked almost amber.
“Oh Laura… you're so incredibly beautiful” Carmilla's delicate voice was so close to her ear that caused Laura's body to stiffen when she realised her own body betrayed her and replied with a shiver and a slight hardening of her nipples. Laura drew in a shallow breath. She could feel Carmilla's own small breasts pressed on her back as the girl embraced her, providing her more comfort and warmth that the fire could ever do.
“Carmilla” Laura's voice was muffled to her ears as if she was recalling a dream, but she was so sure she was awake, Carmilla's hands were too real on her stomach and hips to me mistaken for a crafting of her mind.
All the words she could think about to reply felt decided of meaning, nothing she could say could be replaced by what she did instead. Her whole body slowly turned to face Carmilla, and there she was. Naked and kneeling in front of her, her obsidian eyes dotted by tiny stars as they reflected the flames behind Laura's back.
Laura's hand leaned with a delicate motion on Carmilla's cheek and the girl huffed out a small breath before leaning into Laura's touch letting her black hair fall to her right, so light against her shoulder as if Laura's touch could ease all her worry in a matter of seconds. The memory of how Camilla had cried when recalling her painful story, clutching to Laura's dress for a tiny piece of invisible comfort made Laura's chest tighten. Oh what she would have given to make Carmilla's future one worth living in peace and joy.
Laura stared for a long moment at Carmilla's eyes slowly closing, her black lashes brushing her cheek and Laura's thumb softly moved to the other girl's upper lip. At her touch Carmilla's mouth parted a little, a little rising of the sides of her mouth shaped a pale crescent moon of a soft smile.
Laura's fingers parted just a little on Carmilla's cheek to graze her soft skin, and the girl let out a fragile sound, half a breath and half an imperceptible moan. Laura's back was almost burning as the fire kept casting on her its gleaming flames and the girl moved a bit closer to Carmilla.
The girl's black eyes reopened to take sight of every detail of Laura's face then her irises moved slowly to every curve and edge of her body. Laura felt the almost unbearable weight of Carmilla's eyes on her. She glanced back at Carmilla's naked figure and suddenly their shy roaming eyes met.
When their gaze locked Laura felt her chest tightening, her throat choking her words, but Carmilla was way less shy than her and with a swift motion she bent her back while turning her head to kiss Laura's palm. Laura kept her hand on Carmilla's cheek and welcomed her closeness, leaning in herself to meet Carmilla's lips in a soft kiss as their mouths found each other, sweet and comforting, a comfort so sure Laura still couldn't believe was real, that Carmilla was dedicating it to her, gifting her of her warm and tender love.
Their lips didn't leave each other's promise of forever as Camilla leaned even closer, followed by Laura, not wanting to leave between her the slightest doubt that she didn't desire that longing as much as Camilla did.
Carmilla's hands found their way on Laura's back with a certainty that grounded the blonde girl to the very moment, to the real world where she wasn't lost and afraid anymore, but pressing her now warm body against Carmilla's fragile one, cradling her as they kissed as if she were the the most precious thing she ever had, that she would never lose in a thousand years, in life and death she wanted to be bound by Carmilla's hands and lips on her and give her back all the affection, the love she felt, the love Camilla deserved.
And so they stayed like that, the two girls' bodies pressed together, their small breasts meeting each other touch as if their nipples were kissing as their mouths were. No one wanted to break that enchantment and for an indefinite time Laura held Carmilla's body and soul, lips and arms, legs and hair entangled. Their hands explored each other as if they never did it before, because every time Laura touched Carmilla it felt as if it was the first time, and she didn't dare to miss any detail, any sensation of warmth spreading all over her body and between her legs when she was so close to her lover. Carmilla never would have been a monster to her. If she really was an outwardly creature, feeding on blood as she pierced arteries with her sharp fangs, then she would have loved her for who she was, even if it meant keeping her secret locked in a box inside her heart for all their lives.
Laura traced the back of the dark haired girl from her shoulders to the base of her spine, and all Carmilla did was silently burying her face in Laura's neck, her teeth grazing her neck oh so slightly, causing Laura to hold her breath, just for then exhaling heavily in Laura's hair, kissing the side of her head to her ear.
When Laura softly grabbed on Carmilla's shoulder to push her back so she could look into her eyes no more words were needed between them apart from a murmured “I love you so much my dear Carmilla” that escaped Laura's lips and that caused Carmilla's lips to suddenly press back onto Laura's ones, sure but delicate, firm but soft.
“I adore you, my Laura” Carmilla's voice was as delicate as a blooming flower when she slowly stood up, while holding Laura's hand in hers, and when they stood for a moment in front of each other. In their eyes was a silent promise, a need and desire that burnt in both their hearts.
Laura, naked and warm now, let herself being slowly dragged by Carmilla's small hand in hers to the girl's bed, five steps away from the fireplace, and when her knees sunk on the silky fabric of the sheets she knew, so sure and forged in her soul, that Carmilla's thin figure leaning on her elbows, pinned on the soft mattress, waiting for her with a smile on her lips, was all she would ever desire to see as a welcoming home.
Laura slowly slid on top of Carmilla's frame, not caging her, but covering her like a soft curtain of grazing fingers and planted kisses and she realised again, now knew from the depths of her soul that that was what being whole felt like.