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Being the son of Commander Shepard isn’t easy. Even when the commander himself plays it down, preferring anonymity after the war and, as it turns out, for good reason. The name “Shepard” has become synonymous with “savior” in the awe-filled voices of young child or adult. It’s a tough act to follow, no doubt about it.
Tadhg Shepard-Alenko has spent most of his young life willing to give it a shot, however. Defiance in the face of adversity. Relentlessness in the face of uncertainty. And when all else fails, falling back on good old Irish stubbornness. He's had years to hone his skills and far too many adventures that required it. Still, he likes to think he's made Daidi proud, and if he’s ever in doubt, Papa is quick to reassure him. Who else would know better?
But now, standing alone in the middle of the conference room at ICT, a moment of doubt pokes at him. Every other adventure, he’s let both his fathers and his sister know; the struggles, the battles, the refusal to give in or up. Up to this point in his life, Daidi and Papa have been there with as much or as little support as he’s wanted or needed. This time...this time, he’s kept it all a secret, and it’s only now, just as he’s about to take that last step, that he isn’t quite sure how that’s going to go over when they find out. There's very little he's kept hidden over the years from his fathers, especially Daidi, and the one time he tried, well, there had been fences to mend afterward. Not his best moment, to be sure, and lessons had been learned.
"You're an adult, Tadhg. Daidi wants us to make our own decisions, to become who we are meant to be."
Niamh's words, spoken nearly five years ago now when the opportunity had come and Tadhg hadn't been sure what to do, still ring as true as they did then.
And yet.
A hand on his shoulder pulls Tadhg from his thoughts. "Abby says they’ll be here soon."
Nerves skittering across his skin, Tadhg glances up at his husband, but he nods. It’s too late now. I have to live by my choices. A twitch at his lips curves slightly, and he takes a bit of solace from the touch. After all, he'd been the one to ask Aunt Abby to keep silent and not tell Daidí or Papa.
And yet… "Morg?"
Morgan O’Sullivan chuckles softly, comfortingly, a slow, gently teasing grin sliding across his lips and lighting his eyes. "How many times is this?" Morgan chides while bringing his hand around to rub his thumb along Tadhg’s chin. "I've lost count."
But his lips twitch and he winks, and Tadhg manages a small, if slightly embarrassed, smile in return. Ducking his head, he murmurs back, "Aye, I'm acting a child, I know."
"You aren't. This is important to you."
Important. That's one way to put it.
Though he hasn't ever actually felt it, Tadhg knows he's the odd duck in their small family. Daidi, Papa, and Niamh all share one thing in common: their biotics. Tadhg doesn't have fancy 'space magic', as he used to call it when he was little, and it honestly never really bothered him. But that said, there’s always been a little kernel in the back of his mind, the tiniest of hopes that someday, somehow, he could find a way to prove that he was too, even if only to himself.
Morgan leans in and brushes his lips across Tadhg’s temple as he whispers in his ear, "You are special."
The tickling breath more than the words have Tadhg giving him a playful push away, but this time the smile is bigger, fuller. "I know you think so."
"And your fathers do, too."
For just a moment, Tadhg stops himself from replying immediately. Slowly, he draws in a deep breath and lets Morgan's words wrap around him, sink into him, heal the ache that’s always been in his heart that he knows shouldn’t be. His husband has always been so supportive; one of the many reasons he loves him. Reaching out, he catches Morgan’s hand and squeezes, a silent thanks for always being there. "I know, Morg. I do, honestly. I just..."
And the words just…stop. Why is it always so difficult to put into words?
Out of the corner of his eye, Tadhg tracks his husband’s hand as it rises, but he isn’t prepared for it to land on his head, ruffling the neatly combed waves. Tadhg thinks to complain, but there’s a contemplative look in Morgan’s eyes, as if he’s making a comparison in his mind. "You are a lot like Kaidan, do you know that?” he muses after a minute. “Overthinking things instead of accepting the evidence right in front of you."
It's not the first time Tadhg’s heard this, nor will it be the last, he suspects. Snorting softly, he leans in and places a quick kiss on his husband’s cheek. "So, I've been told more times than I can count." And he has; but there is no fault in that, either. Tadhg would be like both of his fathers if he could.
You are about to be.
He’s startled from his thoughts as the door across the room opens and more people enter. He isn't the only one at this ceremony, thank goodness. He isn't sure he could stand being the central focus of attention, if that were the case.
The room is mostly filled now and when the door next opens, Tadhg sees Aunt Abby leading the way with Uncle Coats right behind her. And behind him...
A wide grin slides across his face as a blur of light copper hair and bright green eyes flies into the room in his direction, throwing her arms around his neck. He sighs softly, returning the hold, but his eyes find and focus in on one man stepping inside. Daidi. Commander Caleb Shepard-Alenko. First human Spectre. Savior of the Galaxy. And…
Tadhg releases his hold on Niamh as she moves over to hug Morgan, but his gaze never leaves his father’s face as he searches around the room, Kaidan at his side. He’s watching closely, searching for the moment when...
There. Sharp blue eyes land on Tadhg, evaluating, fitting pieces of the puzzle together just so.
Niamh and Morgan head over to talk to Papa while Daidi approaches. Now or never. Swallowing tightly, Tadhg manages a lop-sided smile, the kind he used to give when he was younger and after a day's adventure exploring around the Alenko family orchard with Niamh and then they would spend the evening meal sharing their stories and secrets they’d found.
"Aunt Abby said it was a surprise," Daidi says, eyes falling to the dress uniform Tadhg wears before rising once more, a smile widening in the process, "but I have to say, this isn’t quite what I expected."
Tadhg’s lopsided smile tilts higher. "I needed to prove something," he replies, his words now coming out in a torrent. "To you and Papa, but mostly to myself." He fills his lungs again, and for the first time in years, he feels...buoyant, light, ready to take on the galaxy, or whatever the galaxy wants him to take on. "I...hope you don't mind that I didn’t say anything?"
Daidi's arms open wide and Tadhg walks into the embrace without hesitation. "Do I wish you had told me?” Daidí asks. “I honestly can't answer that. The father in me wants to say 'yes,' but having been all of this myself, I understand why you felt you had to do it on your own." Like Morgan just a few minutes earlier, Daidi ruffles Tadhg's hair. Tadhg doesn't mind it one bit. "I am proud of you, you know that don't you?"
Hugging his father close, Tadhg nods against his shoulder. "Aye, I do. That's why I asked Aunt Abby to have you and Papa come for this part. I'd hoped you might..."
Daidi's arm tightens around Tadhg's shoulder briefly and though he remains silent, he has no doubt his father understands the silent question. "You have to ask?"
A small laugh, soft and slightly choked, escapes. "Aye, well...I sort of didn't tell you or Papa what I’ve been working on for the past few years?"
Daidí grins and laughs with him as he smooths the wrinkles in Tadhg’s uniform from their hug. "Hah. Well, there is that, I suppose." His hand finally comes to settle on Tadhg’s shoulder, as he adds more solemnly, “I know what it took for you to make it this far. I wish you hadn’t felt as if you needed to do it, but I am so very proud of you for what you’ve accomplished.”
It takes a second to find his voice. “Go raibh maith agat, Daidí.” Out of the corner of his eye, Tadhg catches Aunt Abby winking at him before moving to step up to the podium.
“C’mon,” Daidí murmurs, gently nudging Tadhg towards where the other soon to be N7s are standing. “Let’s not have your first ‘mission’ be aggravating the head of ICT, hmm?”
Smiling broadly now, Tadhg leads the way over. No, it’s not ever been easy being the son of Commander Shepard, but Tadhg Shepard-Alenko wouldn’t have it any other way.