Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

December 17th 2023

High school senior year

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Tsukasa tenma is a star.
At least that's what he’s always wanted to be.
And for a little while that's exactly what he was.

It was everything he could ever wish for.
Of course there was his best friend rui, and nene and emu too!
Together they were wonderlands x showtime, a well known show troupe that would go around performing shows for people of all ages.

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“Tsukasa-kun!” Rui clasped his hand over tsukasa’s shoulders.

Tsukasa hummed, still focusing on designing another set of costumes for a show they had in about a week.

“How’s your…sister doing…?”

Rui could tell that Tsukasa immediately tensed up at that question.

“She’s doing…ok… the doctors said she probably won’t be able to leave the hospital for a while…once the treatments are over though she’ll be discharged…”

Rui nods understandably, not pressing any further.

“Im gonna convince the doctors to let me take her to our show next week…”

“TSUKASA-KUNNNN!!!!! RUI-KUNNNNN!!!”
Emu bursts in followed by nene who awkwardly waves at the two.

Rui flashes them his usual cat-like smile.

Emu beams back practically glowing.
“I have an idea for the show next week!!!”

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December 18th 2023

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Tsukasa hates hospitals.
They smell like antiseptic in every corner possible if they don't they smell like blood.
There's always someone crying or screaming a few hallways away.
The beep of the monitor.
The useless chatter of folks passing by.
He hated all of it.

It was stupid
stupid
stupid
stupid
stupid

He dragged his feet along the dumb floor.

Oh well.
It was all worth it for his dear sister.
What would he ever do without her?

He gently pushed the door open, plastering a smile across his face for saki.

“Tsukasa!” Saki sat up in her bed.
She was smiling at him like usual.

“Sakiiiiiiii!!!!!!!!” Tsukasa cooed leaning in for a hug which his sister returned.
“Do you think the doctors will let you go out too see our show next week on the 24th?”

Saki scratched her chin pretending too think.
“Maybee… but you could help me convince them too!!!”

“Of course!!!” Tsukasa eagerly held up his clenched fists.

“Oh!!! That reminds me” tsukasa reached for a fresh set of flowers. “I got you these!! The ones in the vase are getting sort of old so i thought id add some more”

Saki nodded eagerly.

“Yeah, sure!!”

Chapter Text

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December 19th 2023
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“Like this…?” rui asks, flipping the switch on one of his newest inventions, a shiny box made of steel with a tube attached to the front, it immediately shoots out a ball covered in a bunch of colorful and vibrant fog it then explodes into a firework like sparks.

Emu gasps in amazement and nods furiously, there are even sparkles in her eyes.
“YES!!! THANK YOU RUI!!! IT'S SO WONDERHOY!! WE CAN ADD IT TOO THE SHOW RIGHT!??!?!”

Rui lightly chuckles while nodding.

“Emu, are you sure it's safe though… some of rui’s inventions are…errr…”
Tsukasa trailed off.

Rui and emu both nodded in unison.
“Of course tsukasa-kun, we’ll be careful so don’t worry”

Tsukasa nodded wearily.

“If you say so…” he trailed off “Ah! Is it alright if I add something to it to make it better…?” Tsukasa added at the end.

Rui gave his usual cat-like smirk.
“Sure, just tell me what your thinking”

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December 20th 2023

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“Sakiiiii” Tsukasa beamed practically squealing like a little girl.

“Tsukasa!” she smiled back her voice was a little strained but that’s fine!!
Right??

“So do you think you can come too our show, it's on the 24th…”
Tsukasa added.

Saki shifted glancing down at her hands.

“Uh…”

Tsukasa’s smile dropped.

“Yeah! I’ll figure something out, don't worry!!”

Tsukasa wearily smiled at her.
“Saki… You don’t have to if you're not feeling well...”

Saki shook her head.
“No! I wanna go! I feel fine so don’t worry!! Just as long as you can convince the doctors!”

Tsukasa opened his mouth to say something before closing it and nodding again.

“Oh yeah!! Here's a card from the rest of wonderlands x showtime!!” Tsukasa reached into his pocket and handed Saki a colorful card.

“AHH!!! IT'S SO CUTE!!! TELL THEM THANK YOU FOR ME!!!” She beamed as she excitedly opened the card.

Chapter Text

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December 24th 2023
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“Well…i dont think she can-” One of the doctors began, scratching her chin.

“Please!! I swear I’ll bring her back before 10:00 and I’ll make sure Saki doesn't exert herself!! Just this once!!” Tsukasa interrupted with pleading eyes.

“I promise I’ll be careful too,” Saki pleaded along with her brother.

One of the doctors gave an unsure look to the other.
“Alright… Just make sure you doesn't inhale anything weird eithe-”

Saki nodded eagerly, bouncing her head up and down.

“YES OF COURSE!! THANK YOU!!!”
Tsukasa beamed immediately grabbing Saki by her arm and dragging her out.

Outside they were met with the rest of wonderlands x showtime.

“Tsukasa-kun!!! Saki-chan!!!” Emu ran up to both of them, engulfing them in a hug.

“EMU!!!!!” Saki squealed before falling into a coughing fit covering her mouth with her hand.
Tsukasa’s eyes widened.
“Ah! Saki!! Are you ok..?”

Saki was staring down at her hand, the color on her face seemingly gone.
She looked back up at her brother, the color returning too her face, a smile plastered on her face now instead of the terrified look that had been there seconds ago.

“Yeah, sorry I choked on my own saliva, haha..” She laughed, wiping her hand on her dark blue sweater and glancing down at it.

“OH YEAH!!” Emu beams, pulling a ticket out of her pocket. “HERES A BACKSTAGE PASS FOR YOU!!”

Saki smiled and accepted it.
“Thanks emu-kun!!”

Emu flashes a toothy grin, pumping her fists.

“Rui!! That reminds me!! you need to tweak the machine a bit, right??
Tsukasa says, grabbing onto rui’s hand and dragging him away.

“Uh- y-yeah!” rui blushes “How could i forget tsukasa-kun~”
Rui regains his composure, allowing himself to get dragged away.

Nene sighs and rubs her temple.
“I swear those two are going to create a new type of nuclear bomb someday…”

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Vibrant lights flash around the stage. And a puff of smoke fills the stage before clearing and revealing wonderlands x showtime and they announce their first song.

And everything's going great for a while.
Saki watches backstage.
Tsukasa occasionally turns to check on her.

For their next song it's law evading rock.
Rui releases the colorful smoke from his contraption.

There's a coughing sound from backstage.
Tsukasa freezes mid-song, all the color draining from his face.

THe coughing suddenly comes to an abrupt stop and tsukasa rushes backstage.
The rest of wonderlands x showtime stands there unaware of what is happening.

Nene steps up to the mic explaining that they’ll be right back after a short break.
Confused murmurs fill the crowd.

Rui follows tsukasa backstage.
“Tsukasa…? Did something happe-”
Rui freezes.

Saki’s unconscious body lies there.
There's blood smeared on her mouth and her hands.
Tsukasa’s sitting down holding her body, pressing his ear to her chest trying to find a pulse.
Nene and Emu follow after rui.

A gasp escapes emu and nene frantically dials 911.
An ambulance arrives quite early and they wheel saki in.
Tsukasa silently boards.
His eyes are unusually hollow.
Rui gets in too, settling down besides tsukasa and explaining everything.

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Tsukasa and rui sit down in the waiting room.
The big “ICU” sign flickers every now and then.
There are a few other people anxiously sitting around.

Rui is nervously bouncing his leg up and down.
Tsukasa sits there unmoving.
Saki’s blood is still smeared on his fingers.
Tsukasa’s parents are sitting across from them.
His mother is crying as his father desperately attempts to comfort her.
Tsukasa pays no mind to it.

The big gray doors suddenly open and they all redirect their attention to it.
His mother is obviously holding her breath in hopes that saki is ok.

its all your fault
its all your fault
its all your fault
its all your fault

The doctor there shakes his head, looking down.
“We’re sorry…” He began before Tsukasa’s mother burst out in tears.
Tsukasa slumped back in his chair, the color draining from his face and his eyes widening for a split second before solemnly nodding.

you should have never brought her here
you should have never brought her here
you should have never brought her here
you should have never brought her here

“Tsukasa…” Rui began.
Tsukasa shakes his head frantically, swatting rui’s hand away as tears pool in his eyes.

Chapter Text

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December 26th 2023
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Tsukasa stared down at Saki's grave.
Everyone else was dressed in the same withered black as tsukasa.
His father was glaring at him from across the room.
It had been ruled out by the autopsy that the cause of death had been inhalation of strange chemicals Rui and tsukasa had stuffed into the smoke bomb machine, and his parents werent quite thrilled to find out their dear daughter had died because of their careless son so naturally all the blame had shifted onto tsukasa.

Saki tenma 2006-2023
Beloved sister, daughter and friend.
She will forever be dancing in our hearts

The grave read out.
Almost everyone had left by now apologizing to Tsukasa's parents.

Rui was stationed in the corner anxiously fidgeting with his hands.
Nene and emu were standing next to him.
Nene seemed to be a soothing emu who was uncharacteristically sobbing into Nene’s shoulder.

Shouldn’t tsukasa be over there with them?
Should he really be over here simply pitying himself?
Shouldn't he take the blame for this?
It's his fault is it not?

its his fault
all of this is because of tsukasa
why should he get too live happily ever after and not saki?

His fingers curl around the fabric of his shirt and he lets out a shaky breath.
He should just die, right?
why wasnt it hi-

His train of thought gets interrupted when his father yanks him by the collar and drags him to the car in silence, Tsukasa’s mother follows after them, tears still rolling down her cheeks.

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Tsukasa chokes out a gasp when he feels his back slam against the wall.
“Why wasn’t it you?!” His father pushes him further up the wall.
“I..I don't, I don’t kno-” Tsukasa sobs

He feels his fathers nails dig into the back of his neck drawing blood.
He chokes out another desperate sob.
“I’m sor- Im sorry…” He mumbles, the taste of metal lingers in his mouth.

For a second everything goes black and his fathers yelling sounds more distant then other.
His head feels like it's about to tip back and fall off his body.
But it feels too light to fall off.
What's going on?
He comes back to his senses when he feels a fist on his temple.

His father continues to throw punches at him.
In desperation he throws a punch back, hitting his father in the eye stunning him for a split second.
This only enrages his father even more.

“Boy, did you just hit me!?!?” His father huffs before, yanking tsukasa down and
Tsukasa chokes out another sob.
Regret engulfs Tsukasa's body.

“I-im sorry…I…” He trails off followed by a sharp gasp when he feels His fathers painfully tight grip around his neck.
“W-wait…! I…”
He would scream but his fathers grip around his neck stops him.

Maybe he deserves this.
He probably does.
His father has every right to hurt him like this.

His mother storms down into the kitchen, the color drains from her face as she takes in the horrific scene in front of her.
She seems utterly speechless for a second.

Well sure she’s seen her husband hurt tsukasa quite a few times when he was growing up but it was never this bad.

Chapter Text

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December 27 2023
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Rui silently sat down next to Tsukasa, peering up at him.
He was uncharacteristically quiet and covered in bandages and such.
Rui’s brows furrowed and his hand instinctively went up to touch the one on tsukasa’s cheek.

Tsukasa gently pushed his hand away, he gave a reassuring smile but all the life in his eyes was gone.
“Tsukasa-kun? what happened?” Rui asked, his voice drenched in worry.

Tsukasa paused for a moment.
“I fell down a flight of stairs.”

Rui’s eyes widen for a second before he nods and redirects his attention to the teacher up front.

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“Alright wonderlands x showtime!!” Nene claps her hands together.
“As you can see, our profits are going down which means if we want to keep producing we need to get back on our game! Or we’ll have to get part time jobs” She says pointing to a chart.

Emu nods eagerly.
“YEAH!! WONDERHOY!!”

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December 29th 2023
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“Aww… neneeee-channn…do we have tooooo….” Emu grumbles.

Nene sighs and rubs her temple.
“Yes…unfortuanately if we don’t get some other way too make money we won’t be able too keep producing music…”

Tsukasa fiddles with his hands.
“What if we just…quit…?”

“HUH???” The rest of wonderlands x showtime ask in unison.

“Tsukasa… I know things aren't going well right now and all the…saki stuff…but we can’t just give up, can we?”
Rui smiles at tsukasa reassuringly.
Tsukasa’s eyes widened for a moment.
“OF COURSE NOT!! HAHA!!! What was I thinking!!... sorry”

“IT’S FINE TSUKASA-KUN WE CAN STAY WONDERHOY!!”

Nene clears her throat.
“Anyways… tsukasa you can just work for your dad at his workshop me and emu can go find something and rui can sell machines or contraptions…”

Tsukasa and rui nod in unison and emu grumbles even more before suddenly sitting up and yanking nene away by her arm.
“NENE!!! I HAVE AN IDEA!!!” She smiles, eagerly pulling nene away.
“Wh- emu-kun?!” Nene gasps, slightly blushing before flashing rui and tsukasa an apologetic look and allowing herself to get dragged away.

Rui and tsukasa simply sit there in silence for a moment before rui breaks the silence.
“Tsukasa-kun”
“Hmm?”
“Promise me you won’t give up, ok?”

Tsukasa stills for a moment before nodding.
“Of course not”

“promise?”

“Promise...”

Chapter Text

Ghost boy chapter 6
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December 30th 2023
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ring

Tsukasa groaned turning over too face his alarm clock.

ring

Y'know most people would be celebrating around this time, it was christmas eve...

rin-

Tsukasa slammed his fist against the alarm clock permanently shutting it up.
"Fuck..." he muttered under his breath as he sat up, squinting his eyes as they adjusted too the light.

Hestill had too show up too school though, he didnt have too change into a school uniform though, yesterday he seemed too have gotton too lazy too change out of it so he slept in it instead.

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"Tsukasa-kun!~" rui grinned as he aproached tsukasa.

"Ah- rui...do you need something...?" Tsukasa asks, looking up from his phone.

Instead of answering normally rui takes tsukasas hand, unclasps it, and places a small bag inside of it before looking back up at tsukasa.

"Ah...whats-" tsukasa begins. His head slightly lolls to the side.

"Its a present..." Rui says, his cheeks turn a rather darker hue of pink. "i made it for you...you can wear it in the christmas show we put on tomorow, right?...

why does he get presents and not saki?

"Oh, thank you...i will..." tsukasa tucks it into his pocket as rui runs off to talk too nene and emu about something, he can faintly make out emu cheering about something along the lines of a confession before rui tells her too quiet down. Since when did rui even like anyone? Surely he would have told tsukasa... whatever...

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Class is boring, like usual.
Tsukasa would have payed attention if he actually had the motivation too but he didnt have it so be it.

When he gets home his father yells at him for a good thirty minute before beating him up again.

At least it isnt saki.
She doesnt deserve to suffer.
Tsukasa does, though.

He falls asleep allot earlier than usual that night.

Chapter Text

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December 31st 2023
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Rui shfted in his bed, a groan escaping him.
The sunlight poured out of his open window, waking him up.
A ghost watches him nearby.
He pays no mind too it.
Hes always ben able too see anyhing supernatural.
Ever since he was a child.
He ignores them though, he as no use paying mind oo them so why should he!?

He sat up blinking at the ceilling before slipping ino his school uniform and packing his bag.

Today was the day.
Before their show after school he was going too confess too tsukasa.
He couldn back out even if he wanted too since he already told nene and emu who would just tell tsukasa themselves if rui refused too do it.

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Rui had in fact slept through all 8 periods and either nene, tsukasa or some random classmate had too wake him up.

He had in fact stayed up till 4 in the morning last night listing off all the worst outcomes that could come out of him confessing too tsukasa.

So naturally he wanted too get some sleep.
By the time the dismsing bell rang almost everyone was out of there except formruj and a few others.

Rui only becuase he was sleeping though.

"Rui..."

Rui lifted up his head, still groggy.
"Huh...?"
He was met with tsukasa who was staring down at him with almost no emotion.

"Ah- sorry..."
He says, packin up his bag and walking along besides tsukasa who was silent the whole time.
Rui didnt say anything either since it might have been awkward so theg silently walked back home together.

"See you at the show?" Rui waves at tsukasa as he pushes his front door open.

Tsukasa nods, walking past ruis house and continuing on along the block.

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knock knock

No answer

knock knock

Still nothing.

Against his better judgement rui gently pushes tsukasas changing room open.
"Tsukasa I-" he begins, though his smile immediately drops, the color drains from his skin and the glass of water he was holding seems too slip out of his hand and roughly hit the floor, shattering into peices.

The metalic smell of blood fills the room.
Its almost suffocating.

Theres a rope.
Attached too the ceilling.
And attached too the rope is tsukasa's unconscious body.
Theres blood trickling down his fingers.
And it stains the inside of his nails, his fingers and smears all over his hands and neck.

Rui's breath catches.
He wants to say something but he can't.
no words come out, he can't even call emu or nene over.

Tsukasa looks deathly pale.
Almost like an actual ghost.
His body seems too be covered in bruises and scratches.
Some seem like theyre self inflicted while others seem more like a third party.
Some seem fresh while others older.

Tsukasa and rui never broke promises.

In fact they once kept a promise too not eat anything orange for 3 weeks before deciding it was too silly and giving up.

The point is they neve broke their promises, not even if given the choice between life and death.

So what gave tsukasa the right too break his...?

Didnt he promise not too give up?
What gave him the right too go ahead and just break that prkmise like it was nothing...

Chapter Text

Ghost boy chapter 8
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January 13th 2025 (college year 2 i think?)
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"Ruiii-kunn~" Mizuki pokes at his shoulder.
Rui gumbles something under his breath about shutting up and letting him work.

"Pleasssse....i just need a little bit of the fabric and the old stage is really close byy...." they continue too poke him.

Rui looks up fom his phone and at miuki.
"Fine but you have too come with me you can't just laze aroud while i do all your dirty work..."

"Ok!!" They spring up pulling rui away. "Oh yeah, how are nene and her girlfriend doing?"

Rui shrugs.
"Last i checked, pretty good..."
Mizuki nods and continues too pull him along

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The old stage from back when wonderlands x showtime was performing was well... pretty messy since no one was maintaining it.

The only reason wonderlands x showtime even disbanded was becuase... tsukasa broke his promise and left them.

And that is also why rui will always hate him from now on...

Theres a few cobwebs scattered around the place and its unbearably dusty he doesnt even want too see the condition tsukasas room is in but unfortunately thats where the fabric mizuki wanted was placed.

"Mizuki you stay here for a second im going to go find it..."

He almost knocks on the door but then simply pushes it open.
Inside he's met with a ghost.
Not just any ghost.
Its tsukasas ghost, and he seems too be asleep on the bench.

rui chooses to ignore him and just find what he needs.
Unfortunately tsukasa seems to wake up and watch him, empty eyes bore into his back and rui has too do everything he can too keep himself from glaring up at tsukasa and letting him know that he can see him.

His sighs, sorting through the basket of fabric In front of him.

When he finally finds the fabric he picks it up and leaves immediately, unfortunately tsukasas ghost seems too follow him there too.

right...follow me around everywhere, that's surely gonna make me forgive you 80x faster..
He thinks too himself in a a sarcastic tone.

Rui rolls his eyes at him and hands mizuki the fabric as they thank him and assure him hs credit card number is no longer endangered.
Tsukasa tilts his head slightly when rui rolled his eyes at him, unsure if the gesture was meant for him or someone else.

Becuase if it was meant for him that meant rui could see him...

Chapter Text

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JANUARY 14TH 2025
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bzzt
Rui tossed over too the other side, not wanting too wake up and actually be productive.
bzzt
He lazily jabbed at his phone blindly until the alarm momentarily stopped before beginning to buzz again.
bzzt bzzt bzzt bz-
Rui groaned as he sat up from bed this time actually hitting the off button.

A decently hygienic person wouldn't have slept in the same mismatched outfit they'd worn all week.

Oh he was so disgusting.
How were people still friends with him, even.
What if they knew...?

no, no, no, rui wouldn't, let that happen...
He slung brown bag over one shoulder and made his way off too campus.
It seems his roommate already left without him...

I mean they weren't very close or anything but he would appreciate the company...
Oh God, who was he kidding, all he wants is too be alone all day long even those who are closest too him too stop caring for him and leave him too rot.
The only reason he still ate was too not worry nene, mizuki or emu.

A tired yawn escaped him as he made his the into the classroom and-

Right.
Of course tsukasas ghost is there again

He didnt even bother taking notes today he just doodled on his already practically shredded binder instead, he'd just copy off nene later...
He used too be so smart back in high-school what even changed that...

Right.

It was becuase tsukasa fucking left them.
Of the bastard hadn't broken his promise everything would perfectly fine

The lesson ended dismising everyone too their next class.
Natrully tsukasa instantly followed rui straight out
Rui had two periods and he was long overdue a shower anyways, choosing to pretend not too notice tsukasa there.

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Rui is sat Down on the floor undressing and tossing them in the laundry bin stationed behind the bathroom door.
His eyes naturally drift too the mirror.
It's cracked quite obviously, as if someone had threw a rock at it.

Ruis eyes widen slightly at the sight of his bare body.
No, no, no, no, no...
Why is he so fat...
Why can't he just be skinny...
Why...

A tear hreatens Ok roll down his face.
Why was he crying now...
He's always so sensitive...

He dis his on nails into his arm and starts scratching at the skin violently as blood manages too sep through the cracks of his nails and his hands.

no he's not...

Ruis breathing quickens as his heart beats at an alarmingly high speed.
He's hyperventilating now, gasping for air desperately, he still doesn't stop heading up his arm.
The blood, anages too drip onto the floor a small puddle forming eneath him.

...anything like...

He shallows as another tide of ears stream down hi face.
One of his hands shakily reaches up too a drawer and shakily pulls it open before digging around for anyhing sharp in there.
Eventually he finds a pair of scizzors which he then uses too slash across his skin multiple times.

...tsukasa...

He chokes out another sob, curling up on the bathroom floor and closing his eyes.
Maybe he won't wake up...

He hopes ge doesn't...

Chapter Text

hi guys... (my two readers) so basically um im not discontinueing this fic (also i appologize for any bad grammer i have autocorrect turned off) but its going on hiatus for a little bit...

obviously i owe you guys an explanation so firstly there are a few reasojns why its going on hiatus but the main ones are 1 school 2 strict ahh parents 3me
the first is pretty obvious i have allot of overdue assignments and im probably failing at school so i need too study and catch up the second is becuase ive been getting into allot more fights with my parents as of late over small things and im not really getting along with them espacially my mom too simplify things they went through all of mmy phone (which is a flip phone by the way im posting thru a pc rn) and they didnt like what they saw so they decided too check my pc and they foudn my social media and blcokked allof it (exept for tiktok and twitter bc they dont know and yt bc its yt) so right now i have very limited recources...
the third is becuase of all that happening i dont know whats wrong with me but i have no motivation too work on this as of late but i will try so thats all for now
i hope too post again by the next week or the one after that and the posting schedual might change a bit becuase of well school cuz my grades cant drop anymore i dont care about them but my dad does so...

anyways thank you for listening too me list of a bunch of pathetic excuses as too why i cant write right now if i do end up mustering up the motivatiopn too finish a chapyter i will post it right away
bye bye <3

Chapter Text

hellooo so im back (FINALLY) and i can probably post again after this (sorry for the wait) probably by tmrw or the day after (i have this dumbass group project rn so its a rlly inconsistent update sched for now will try to update at least once a week tho) also i have detention tmrw bc i was like 5 minutes late too class FIVE MINUTES and update on the situationw ith my parent summ its allot more acalmed down now btui i stil dont have access to anything but they arent going thru all my stuff constantly anymore at least so uhhh ill see u guys later!! bye bye <3