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Buck’s phone rang in his pocket as he walked back to his pickup, having dropped Dwayne off at a nearby shelter. It was associated with the church that held the AA meeting they’d just come from. Maybe he’d be able to get the help he needs to get his feet back under him. At the very least, it would get him out of Buck’s attic.
He fished his phone from his pocket, seeing Eddie’s name. Buck swiped to answer, climbing into the truck cab with a sigh.
“Listen, I don’t know what Ravi told you, but if you’re going to rag on me too, I don’t want to hear —“
“Buck…”
Buck froze stiff behind the wheel at Eddie’s voice, the waver in his breath.
“What’s wrong?”
A thick sniff in his ear sent Buck into action, turning the engine over and quickly pulling into traffic to make a bee-line for Eddie’s house.
“I need you to come over. Please…”
“I’m already on my way. Are you hurt? Is Chris okay?” Buck changed lanes, making a fast right turn.
“It’s my abuela, Buck.”
A kick of dread ached in Buck’s chest. “Oh, Eddie…”
“Pepa found her this morning. She’s…she’s gone.”
“Fuck, Eddie, I’m so sorry,” Buck said, turning into Eddie’s neighborhood. “I’m almost at your house.”
“Pepa is beside herself. She’s…Abuela is still there. Tia is waiting for the funeral home. I don’t want her to be alone.”
Buck turned sharply onto Eddie’s street, fishtailing only a little bit. “And Chris doesn’t need to see her like that right now. How is he?”
“Better than me.”
Eddie sniffed thickly and let out a watery laugh, both making Buck’s chest ache even more.
“I’m on your street, I’ll be there in just a minute,” Buck said gently.
His heart was breaking. He cared for Eddie’s abuela, but he ached most for Eddie who had finally seemed to be happy for the first time in a very long time. He didn’t want to see Eddie fall back into that dark place.
“I see you.”
“You’re outside?”
“Yeah.”
As Buck approached Eddie’s house, he spotted his best friend sitting on the front stoop in a tank and basketball shorts. He barely had time to put his truck in park before exploding out of it. Buck jogged down the front walk, watching Eddie drop his phone into the grass and stand to his feet.
“Eddie…” Buck sighed as Eddie slammed into Buck’s chest, face tucked against his shoulder. He wrapped his arms around Eddie tight. “I’m so sorry.”
They stood like that for several minutes, Buck with one hand cupping the back of Eddie’s neck as Eddie held him tight. Buck felt Eddie shake in his arms and he dropped his chin to the top of Eddie’s head, giving his neck a small squeeze.
“What do you need me to do?” Buck asked, rubbing his back gently.
Eddie sniffed and drew back, his eyes red and wet. “Stay with Chris while I… wait with Tia?”
“Of course,” Buck nodded. “Come on, you need to get dressed and go.” He wrapped his arm around Eddie’s shoulder and led him inside. “Are you going to be okay to drive?”
“Yeah,” Eddie sniffed and nodded, pushing open the front door. “I’ll be okay."
“Has Chris had breakfast?” Eddie shook his head, his face drawing tight with distress. “It’s okay, Eddie. I’ll handle it. Go get dressed.” He gently nudged him down the hall.
As Eddie padded down the hall, Buck slumped against the wall. He scrubbed his hand down his face, startling slightly when he heard a door open. Buck looked up and met Chris’ red-rimmed eyes.
“Buck?”
“Hey buddy,” Buck said gently, pushing off the wall and stepping toward Chris’ room. They met in the middle, Buck wrapping his arms around his tall, thin frame.
“Is Dad okay?” Chris asked and Buck sighed slowly. Eddie really had raised such a kind-hearted young man.
He ruffled Chris’ hair gently. “He’s really sad, bud. But he’s going to be okay. You both are.”
Eddie’s bedroom door opened and Eddie quickly stepped through, dressed to go out.
“Mijo?”
“Yeah, Dad?” Chris answered, turning from Buck’s embrace.
He walked down the hall toward his dad, who met him a few steps in. Buck took a large step back, almost to the entryway, to give his Diaz boys extra space. Eddie knelt down and Buck remembered back when he and Chris would be eye-to-eye. Now, Eddie had to look up to meet his son’s gaze.
“I’m going to be with Pepa for a little while okay? But I’ll be back soon.”
“Can I come? I know she’s sad too,” Chris asked. Buck and Eddie’s eyes met briefly before Eddie shook his head.
“Not right now. Tomorrow, okay? We’re all about to have a busy few days.” Eddie kissed Chris’ forehead as he got to his feet. “Buck is going to hang out with you til I get back. Don’t cause too much trouble for him, okay?” He smiled softly.
Chris sighed and his mouth quirked into a wry smile. “I guess I won’t be getting that tattoo then.”
“Ha ha,” Eddie ruffled his hair then hugged him close. “I love you mijo.”
“Love you too, Dad.”
Buck smiled softly and took a small step forward. “I’ll meet you in the kitchen Chris. Start thinking about what you want for breakfast.”
Chris nodded and gave Eddie another quick hug before heading down the hall and into the kitchen. As Eddie started for the front door, Buck fell in step with him.
“What else can I do? I can make phone calls. Start looking things up. Tell me what funeral home is coming and I’ll start looking up pricing. I can call your parents or…”
“Buck,” Eddie interrupted gently, pulling him into another hug. “Tell Chim and the rest. That’s all I really know right now.”
“Okay. But tell me okay? Let me handle things out here while you’re with your family.” Buck drew back and met his eye. “I’ve got your back.”
“I know you do.” Eddie smiled, but his chin wobbled.
“Give Pepa my love.”
“I will.”
Buck sighed slowly as the front door closed in front of him, pulling out his phone. He texted Chimney to spread the news as he walked into the kitchen.
“Okay.” Buck clapped gently. “Chocolate chip or strawberry pancakes?”
Chris looked up from his seat at the kitchen table, his eyes wet. “Both?”
Buck smiled sadly and wrapped his arms around Chris. “Both sounds perfect.”
“I saw her last night,” Chris said quietly from the kitchen table as Buck stood at the sink, rinsing their plates.
Buck blinked and turned to look at Chris.
“You saw Abuela?” He asked.
Chris nodded. “She was in my bedroom. She told me she loved me and that everything would be okay. I thought she was actually here, it was so real.”
Buck walked over and sank down in the chair next to him. “That’s…wow, Chris.”
“I think that’s why I’m not…” Chris frowned as he looked for the right words. “I’m sad. But it’s not like how it was after losing Mom.”
“You had a chance to say goodbye,” Buck said, brushing back Chris’ unruly curls. “Even if you didn’t know it.”
“Yeah,” Chris smiled slightly, nodding his head. “It doesn’t really feel like she’s gone.”
Buck bit his lip and got quiet. They were only a couple hours into what would be a whirlwind of days ahead of them. Funeral planning was so fast and overwhelming, it’d be hard to find time to feel the loss.
Buck also couldn’t help but reflect on the last few days of his life in his new home. How sure he was that he was seeing the spirit of Bobby and the comfort it provided him to know he might still be around in some way. Of course, it wasn’t, and a part of him ached with grief all over again. But what Chris experienced was real, so Buck thought he could hold on to a tiny speck of hope of feeling Bobby again one day.
Unbeknownst to Buck’s inner turmoil, Chris broke the silence.
“Can we make something for Tia?” Chris asked. “I remember when Mom died people brought food and it helped us.”
Buck smiled softly. He marveled at the teenager in front of him, though he could still see the small boy he protected as best he could from the ocean all those years ago. Buck saw the goodness nurtured in Chris by his mom and dad, his great-aunt, and his great-grandmother. Abuela will live on in the child she helped raise.
“You’re a pretty great kid,” Buck said softly. “You know that?”
“I try.” Chris smiled wide.
Buck laughed softly. “Want to be my sous-chef again?”
Chris nodded. “Yeah,” he said with a small laugh.
“Then sous-chef…!” Buck grinned, standing up. “Let’s see what your dad has in the house. I bet we can whip something up for them.”