Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Tokyo-3, calm and quiet with the ever harsh sun finally setting. No cars on the road, and hardly any people out. Far too quiet for a huge city like this.

Asuka stood on the balcony connected to the apartment and stared out into the distance, leaning against the rail with her brow furrowed. A soda that she had barely drank from sat on top of the railing.

So damn annoying Asuka thought. Doing stupid things is Shinji’s job…not hers…

Another battle with an angel had come and gone today, and Asuka felt like yet again she wasn’t able to do as much as she had hoped to. 

The minute the battle started, Rei rushed the angel immediately. She took heavy attacks, facing severe damage to her EVA right away. Shinji of course rushed in playing hero and tried to save her, which led to him also taking a heavy amount of damage. Asuka got to do next to nothing, only being able to land the fatal blow while the angel was distracted with those two idiots. 

Asuka huffed “How out of character…” 

She scratched the back of her head, chin resting on her other arm. Because of the injuries they both had, Shinji and Rei were both at the hospital. It was safe to assume they’d be there overnight. Misato had alot of work to do at NERV as well, so she’s also going to be gone overnight. 

Since Asuka went untouched the whole fight, she got to go right back home. All on her own. This usually wasn’t a big deal, if anything she preferred it this way. Misato was usually getting drunk and Shinji would either sulk in his room or leave when no one was looking anyways. So being on her own was perfectly acceptable and fine with her. 

Though…A sense of melancholy still loomed over her tonight, like it was stuck in the thick air of the afternoon. She sighed, was this just frustration about the battle? Or was she so used to there being other people here, that now... 

She scowled and shook her head at the thought. Like hell it was something like that! She’s said before she doesn’t need anyone but herself.

She reached out for the soda, but knocked it over instead. 

“Shit!” She stood upright and watched as the can fell down all the way down to the concrete.

The can landed and splashed onto the sidewalk, and next to it stood Rei. Covered in bandages and still sore from the fight. She looked down at the can, watching as it spilled the rest of its contents. The loud clank had broken her out of her trance.

“What was…I doing here again?” She silently murmured to herself. 

She looked up from the can to the balcony it must’ve fell from, and there stood Asuka leaning over the railing looking at Rei in shock and confusion.

As they made eye contact a breeze blew by. Asuka grit her teeth.

“What the hell does she think she’s doing here?”

Rei broke eye contact and looked to the side, then the other. She looked back up at Asuka, then out to the distance that the balcony was facing. Lifting her hand over her eyes Rei looked over at the same sunset that Asuka had been looking at earlier. 

She then looked back up, and smiled at the girl on the balcony. Such a genuine smile coming from Rei, directly and entirely for Asuka. 

Asuka recoiled, not knowing how to feel. She turned around and stormed inside, harshly shutting the door. 

“What’s her deal? Smiling at me like a creep after coming all the way here.” Asuka said, kicking at a pillow that was on the floor.

She went to the fridge to grab another soda, slamming the fridge door shut afterwards. 

“Whatever, if she wants to be here so bad she can sit outside all night for all I care.”

She sat on a chair and tried to distract herself with TV, but with boring channel after boring channel she gave that up after a short while. Not very much time had passed, but Asuka couldn’t help but peek outside again. On the balcony with the sky now darker, she looked down at the sidewalk. Rei was nowhere in sight. 

That is until she looked a little lower, leaning over the railing a bit farther than what was considered safe. She saw that Rei was sitting on the stairs instead. She was still looking out to the distance. Asuka scoffed, and made her way to the door.

Sitting on the steps, Rei focused on the view and didn’t hear Asuka approach. Only when Asuka spoke did Rei notice anyone was there at all.
 
“What are you still doing here, shouldn’t you be in a shitty hospital bed?”

Rei whipped her head around and saw Asuka standing behind her leaned against the wall. She slowly turned back to look ahead again.

“I left. I didn’t need to be there.” She said, monotone as ever.

“You left and came here of all places? How out of character for you.” Asuka said smiling to herself as she picked on Rei. 

She recoiled back a bit when she looked at Rei again, who glared at her with one eye over her shoulder for a moment, before turning back around again.

“I don’t know why i came here.” She answered, a tinge of annoyance in her voice. “I just did it without realizing.” 

They were both silent.

Rei was the one to break the silence. “Were you looking at the sunset?” She asked “I never really paid attention to it, but I guessed that that’s where you were looking…So I did too.” 

“Yeah why don’t you tell me your every thought then.” Asuka muttered sarcastically.

Rei responded genuinely however “I didn’t realize it looked like that, I felt stuck staring at it, watching it change and then…vanish as soon as it did.”

The sky was a dark blue now. Barely any sun left. Asuka thought that maybe continuing this chat would at least get Rei to leave, now that the sun had fully set.

“Yeah well, a summer sunset gets boring when you see it every day, I never understood why it was such a big deal to the pre-second impact generation.” Asuka said, looking towards the floor. 

She couldn’t bring herself to look at Rei for some reason. Any time she thought to, all her confidence would vanish. She didn’t wanna let that feeling stick around. 

“Then maybe this is the closest i’ll be to having lived that sort of life. A pre-second impact one.” Rei said, responding to Asukas statement after a pause.

“Why? Just 'cuz you enjoyed one sunset?” Asuka scoffed.

“Mhm.” Rei responded 

Asuka couldn’t really work up another sarcastic remark to that, so the two of them stayed silent for a while longer.

Asuka eventually glanced at Rei again. She was wrapped in bandages… Tons of wraps around her arms and legs which Rei would pick and pull at, along with some adhesives on her fingers and other spots scattered around. There were even some wrapped around her neck already loose from being pulled at. Just how badly did she get hurt? More importantly, why would she rush into battle like that so suddenly to begin with…

Looking at her, Asuka couldn’t help but feel bad. As much as she felt Rei got what she asked for with a stunt like that…She also felt like something was off about the whole situation.

Rei seemed different lately too. Almost as if she had more on her mind than the usual. It was clear that she constantly had something on her mind, and that bugged Asuka. It bugged her to be curious about what Rei could possibly be thinking of. 

“Any new ideas on why you came here and not to your place?” Asuka asked.

“Mmmh…” Rei thought to herself for a moment “I don’t think I wanted to really be there.” 

Rei turned to look up at Asuka, who took a sharp breathe in and turned away, opting to stare at the ground again.

“You’ve been here alone tonight too, correct?” Rei asked “So you understand how feels…” 

Asuka’s jaw clenches slightly, but she stays silent.

Rei glanced down to the ground as well “…I don’t want to feel that way right now…so i kept walking, and ended up here.” 

Asuka glanced over to Rei, then back to the ground. 

“Do you still not want to be there?” Asuka asked, mumbling under her breath. “Your apartment, i mean.” 

“Yeah.” Rei answered.

Asuka stopped leaning on the wall and stood normally, scratching at the back of her head again. She let out a heavy sigh, she looked back at Rei again. Rei was still staring into the distance, the sun now gone and instead replaced with the dark starless sky. 

The moon wasn’t full tonight, but it was certainly bright. Its light shone onto Rei, making it appear as though her hair was glowing. Asuka had to pry her eyes away this time. At first she wanted Rei to leave, but now…She felt like it’d be wrong to let this girl walk off into the night by herself.

After what felt like a very long pause, and a very deep breath…Asuka spoke again “Then…Would you want to stay here tonight?” 

She grit her teeth immediately after saying this. She didn’t entirely know where that came from, or what came over her to offer something like that to Rei of all people. 

But when she looked back at Rei, and saw both her eyes wide staring back at her, she knew that there was no taking it back.

“Really?” Rei asked, almost in disbelief. 

Asuka felt her face get a little hot “Y-Yeah…” She turned back around. “You’re sitting here looking pathetic and sad so it’s like i’ve got no choice…Stop staring at me and hurry up.” 

When they got inside Rei was a little taken aback, even if she didn’t show it.

Reis apartment was usually dark and undecorated, with cold tile floor and barely any light. So when she walked into where Asuka and the others stayed, she saw furniture, lights, a larger space, smaller messes and so on that it felt so foreign to her. The place felt alive…it was almost overwhelming.

Asuka looked at Rei confused “What’re you standing around for? It’s not that messy in here.” 

They went into Asuka’s room, and Asuka was looking for any spare clothes to give Rei.

“I’ve only ever seen you in that school uniform, why don’t you wear anything else?” Asuka asked.

“I don’t have anything else.” Rei responded.

Suprised, Asuka turned to look at Rei “What?? Seriously?” 

Rei nodded.

“That’s a little gross…Here.” Asuka tossed Rei a large shirt she had. “Just put that on, i have laundry to do but Shinjis stuff is in there right now and i don’t wanna touch it.” 

Asuka got up and left the room, before she closed the door, she turned back around “And don’t even think of going through my things!”

SLAM

Rei stared at the door for a moment, then looked around at her surroundings. Asukas room was kind of messy. Magazines, clothes, dvd cases, schoolwork, even her interface headset for her Eva unit was on the floor. Rei was pretty sure those weren’t allowed outside of NERV-hq.

She looked down at the shirt Asuka gave her. It was weird, she never really thought about how she didn’t have any other clothes, she always just wore what she was told to. 

NERV required the plugsuit, so she wore it. School required the uniform, so she wore it. NERV says you’re not allowed to wear the plugsuit outside of HQ, so she wore the school uniform in its place. 

It was all just orders orders orders…She looked into Asukas still open closet. Asuka said she needed to do laundry but even still, to Rei it looked like there were so many clothes in there. Asuka was never ordered to get these or wear them right? So why hadn’t Rei bothered to do anything similar?

Asuka practically ordered Rei to wear this shirt that she was now holding, suddenly that thought kinda bothered Rei. She made a face she never made before. Her brow furrowed, eyes squinted and face contorted. Her lips raised to grit her teeth.

Wasn’t this on the floor in the corner of the closet? Why would she give Rei a dirty shirt like that? Rei lifted the shirt to her nose and gave a quick sniff, expecting some gross old shirt smell. However her eyes suddenly widened and her face relaxed as something new went through her senses. The shirt smelled a lot like Asuka.

She lowered the shirt back down…Then back up to smell it one more time. She figured it wouldn’t be a big deal to wear it for the night…

What the hell is taking her so long? Asuka thought to herself. 

Finally she heard the door slide open. Turning her head to look over at Rei, the sight of Rei in one of her shirts was a lot stranger than she imagined. 

Asuka had only seen Rei in one uniform or another before, never anything casual, on top of that she was wondering if she should have given her some shorts too…She shook her head before thinking about it too hard.

“What took so long?” Asuka asked.

Rei stood there, and felt like she didn’t feel like answering that truthfully, so she didn’t. 

“Nothing.” She lied.

Asuka turned her head back towards the TV. She didn’t bother to call out the obvious lie since she was busy trying to act normal about the whole thing. She invited Rei into her home, gave her some of her clothes, and…why? Just because she felt a little guilty leaving her there on the steps? Why should she care?!

Rei was still just standing around awkwardly. Asuka whips her head around and glares at Rei.

“Quit just standing around like that! You’re stressing me out!”

Rei looks back at Asuka.

“Sorry, I don’t know what to do in this sort of situation.”

Asuka scoffs and turns around. 

“Just- Anything really. Something that isn’t just standing around like a creep. At the very least sit on the couch or…I dunno just something normal.” 

A few moments later, the two of them were sitting on either side of the couch. Sat as far away from eachother as possible.

Rei half paid attention to whatever was on the TV, even if it didnt interest her. Asuka stared off to the side, but every so often glanced over in Reis direction. She was staring at the bandages covering her arms and legs again. Every now and then even when lost in thought Rei would pick and pull at them, only loosening them further as time went on. It was obvious how much these bandages bothered Rei, and the fact that something could bother Rei almost fascinated Asuka. 

Honestly…a lot about Rei has been confusing and fascinating Asuka lately. She’s different in a very subtle way, and Asuka can’t for the life of her figure it out. Before she gets to think about it too deeply however, Rei speaks again.

“It’s quiet in here.” She says softly.

“Hm?” 

“It’s very quiet in here, in this building.” 

There’s a brief pause between the two of them before Asuka responds. 

“Yeah…It always is.”

“In my apartment there’s always construction going on. It continues all night and all day. I’m the only one in the building too, so it echoes off the walls.” Rei explains. “I didn’t think it would be so quiet here, compared to where i stay.” 

Asuka didn’t have a response immediately. This was a lot more insight on Rei than she was expecting to get tonight…Eventually finding some words to say, she continues the conversation. 

“Seriously? Do you even get any sleep?” 

“I do, I can tune it out…most nights…” 

“Jeez…NERV really couldn’t give two shits about their pilots…huh.” Asuka mutters, mostly to herself. 

“It’s nice. Being somewhere so quiet.” Rei says in an oddly warm tone. 

There’s another moment of silence. Is she saying she likes it here or something? What does she mean by that? Asuka thinks to herself, she glances at Reis arms again.

“What about the hospital? It’s pretty quiet there too, isn’t it?” She asks.

“That’s different. I want nothing to do with that place.” Rei states.

Asuka is taken aback by how immediate and blunt the response is. She’s hearing tones that she’s never heard come out of this girl’s mouth before. 

“Somewhere like here…is significantly better.” Rei’s voice softens again.

“Y…yeah. I guess the hospital isn’t really all that comfortable.” Asuka responds.

‘comfortable’ Rei whispers to herself…

It’s silent, for yet another moment. Rei speaks again. Softly, delicately, and almost intimately in some sort of way…

“I think this is the first time…I’ve felt comfortable.” 

Asuka…doesn’t respond. Her face is too warm to think of a good way to. 

It’s gotten very late for these two girls. The dark blue sky outside had turned fully black by now. The moon was shining bright, high up in the night sky. Asuka was yawning, and Rei felt herself getting drowsy.

“I think we should sleep.” Asuka murmurs “There’s still school tomorrow…I guess.”

“Mm.” Rei mumbles in response.

Following Asuka to her room, Rei pulls at her bandages more.

Asuka notices it…and decides to say something.

“Those are all going to slip off if you sleep with them loose like that yknow.”

“Mm.” Rei mumbles in response. “I don’t really care.” 

Asukas eyebrows furrow.
“I guess, but…you should probably leave them on for at least a night…” 

Rei doesn’t respond, Asuka looks over at her. She sighs.

“Cmon, sit in front of me” She says, sitting down on her futon and adjusting to get comfortable. 

Rei slowly and hesitantly sits in front of her.

“I’m gonna tighten these again, it’ll just be uncomfortable sleeping like that.” She says, reaching out for Reis arm, but Rei pulls away.

“You don’t need to do that.” She says. 

“Tsk—Cmon quit arguing.” Asuka says annoyed. Reaching out again and this time grabbing Reis arm. 

Rei wants to pull away again. However the very moment Asuka makes contact with her skin, another new feeling courses through her. As far as Rei can remember is the first time she’s had skin to skin contact that she was fully aware of. Every moment till now it’s been through a plugsuit, or she’s been in so much pain she couldn’t really process it.

Asuka’s hands were warm. More importantly, they were gentle as they held her arm in place and wrapped the bandages tighter again. Every movement of her fingers, wrist, and arms were all done with consideration of Rei’s comfort. It felt…comfortable, a word and sensation that Rei was getting used to. 

Asuka was also getting this feeling. She was having her own fascination with the physical touch going on. Rei’s skin was cold, very cold. It was pale and ridiculously soft too. It felt like if she touched it too hard it would tear and shatter, so she found herself wanting to be careful with her touch. 

Despite how comforting and warm the sense of touch was, it was still somewhat uncomfortable for Rei dealing with the bandages. She shifted and groaned under her breath as Asuka continued.

“You don’t like the bandages, do you?” She says softly. 

“No, I don’t. They’re frustrating, I don’t like how it feels on my skin…”

“I see…Well, one night won’t hurt you. Then you can do whatever you want with them.” 

Rei is quiet for a moment. “Why is it that you’re doing this for me?” She asks quietly.

Asuka pauses for a moment, before coming up with a blatant lie. 
“If you were caught with your bandages all off after coming over here, they’d probably blame me or Misato for it.” 

Rei knows this is a lie, but she doesn’t argue against it. 

A few moments later, her arm and leg bandages are tightened again. Asuka lets out a light sigh.

“Here…compromise…” She says quietly. Reaching for the bandages around her neck, and taking them off of Rei.

“You don’t have to wear these ones…and the adhesives on your fingers can come off too…if that makes it any better.”

Asuka carefully holds up Rei’s hand, peeling off the adhesive band-aids from around her fingers. Rei’s nails looked unhealthy…

The feeling of Asuka removing bandages gave Rei another warm feeling. It felt like she was freeing her of something, and I suppose to her, she was. However when Asuka finally pulled her hands away, leaving Rei without physical contact again…she felt cold. Almost immediately she missed it. 

“Alright…We can get some sleep now. I’m just gonna sleep as much as I can. I doubt Misato or NERV gives a damn about whether we go to school or not at this point.” Asuka says, stretching and turning over to lay on her futon. 

“There’s a spare on the other side of the room, you can sleep on it tonight.” She says.

Rei turns around and sees the spare futon she’s talking about. She looks back at Asuka, shifting a little in her spot before forcing herself to glance away. She walks over to the futon, and gets under the blanket, trying to make herself comfortable.

The night continues…and Rei finds herself still wide awake, still uncomfortably cold despite the warmth of the sheets. She hears Asuka’s   breathing from the other side of the room, so she turns over onto her side and watches her. 

Asuka’s back is facing Rei. A part of her is dissapointed. Asuka feels so far away right now. To be fair, she always felt far away, they never got along after all. Though after the moment they shared, with the feeling of Asuka’s hands softly touching Rei’s skin, Rei was suddenly more aware of that distance than ever before…and this time it bothered her.

She just couldn’t sleep…She couldn’t. Not after that. Not in this extreme silence she wasn’t used to, not in this unfamiliar room and with these aches in her bones and chest…but right there, just a painfully short distance away was Asuka. Familiar, predictable, prickly, and yet now in her mind…also warm and gentle. So what was she doing still laying here? 

Rei slowly slipped out from under her sheets. Standing and taking quiet steps over to where Asuka’s sleeping. She stops when Asuka shifts, turning to lay on her back. When she’s settled, Rei continues moving. 

She slides herself under the blanket, and gets close to Asuka, she stares at her face for a moment…then loosely wraps her arms around Asuka’s body. One arm underneath her, and one arm over her, bent so her hands nearly touch Asuka’s face.

It’s warm again, she feels that same feeling going through her again too, this time stronger. Just as this feeling sinks into her skin, she begins to drift off. The odd comfort Asuka provides tonight so strong that she can’t help but fall asleep. 

Asuka however, wakes up just a little. Still too tired to really move, she couldn’t if she wanted to at this point. She looks down, her arm is under Rei’s neck, and Rei’s arm is over her chest, and under it as well…She can even feel their legs partially intertwined with eachother. Asuka feels warm. In any other circumstance she’d be creeped out, disgusted even. But tonight…in the quiet, empty apartment in the ever growing loneliness of Tokyo-3. She allowed it to happen. Allowed Rei to stay, so long as she stayed close…

Asuka very carefully slipped out of bed. Doing her absolute best not to move and wake Rei. The sun and thick heat was enough to wake up Asuka, but Rei remained passed out on top of her. 

Eventually, Asuka succeeded. Stretching and letting her arm wake back up after a whole night of being under Rei’s weight. She looked over at a clock kept in her room, it was already past 11am. There was no point in going to school now, not that she planned to today anyways.

Yawning as she walked out of her room. She noticed Misato sitting at the couch, the TV on with the volume kept low. Misato glanced over and looked at Asuka.

“Morning.” She said with a smile.

“Ah- M-morning…” 

“Rei still asleep?” 

Asuka grit her teeth, glancing off to the side. “Y-yeah.”

Misato just smiled.

“How- when did you get back last night?” Asuka asked.

“Late enough to see the two of you tangled up in eachother.” Misato laughs. 

“Tsk— It’s not-“ Asuka starts but is cut off.

“Cmere kid, I wanna talk with you a bit.”

Reluctantly following orders. Asuka is sat on the couch, some space away from Misato.

“So, I assume you didn’t invite her over in the first place?” Misato smirks

“Of course I didn’t! Like I’d go out of my way to ask her to come over…” Asuka murmurs. Facing away from Misato.

“But you did let her inside in the end, why?” Misato asks.

Asuka thinks to herself for a moment.
“She wouldn’t leave. It would creep me out if she were out there the whole night.”

Misato hums in response, before asking another question. “But you already know that if you just told her to ‘go away’ then she would’ve, right? Why not do that?”

“I don’t know. I just- I just didn’t feel like being that way last night is all…I didn’t feel like…” Asuka trails off. 

Misato grins a little bit to herself. “It’s okay if you wanted to let her in, Asuka.”

Asuka simply scoffed.

“Askuka…do you know why Rei came by?” 

“No. Why would I?”

Ignoring Asuka’s rude response, Misato continues.

“Before yesterday’s battle. She was ordered by Commander Ikari to rush the Angel right away for whatever reason…and to disregard any damage sustained to the Evangelion unit or herself.”

Asukas eyes widened. She knew that whole fight felt out of character for Rei.

“It’s likely that this sort of treatment will continue. Rei’s going through all sorts of classified things at NERV that even I’m not allowed to be fully aware of, and all of it seems to be weighing on her.” 

Asuka is stunned for a moment. 
“C-Can’t you override those orders though? I mean- you’re her commander after all, aren’t you? She doesn’t have to listen to that old man…” Asuka asks in disbelief.

“Actually-“ Misato sighs “Yes, she does…” 

Asuka falls silent.

“For you and Shinji, my word is final. All responsibilities in battle and command are left to me.” Misato lowers her voice “But for Rei, it’s different…For her, Gendo’s word is final. If an order I give Rei conflicts with one he gives, his wins.”

It’s silent for a while. Asuka can’t think of what to say…Rei, given such dangerous orders with no choice but to follow them? How on earth is that fair? It suddenly makes a few things make a lot more sense…

“You’re frustrated, I can tell.” Misato says.

“Of course I am!” 

“Good. You should be.” She says. “And I think…Rei is just as frustrated too.” 

This confused Asuka, She’s known Rei as this perfect doll who follows any order she’s given, and never questions it for a second. So to hear that Rei is unhappy with the directions she’s told to follow is almost shocking.

“Really?” Asuka asks

“Really. I think it’s been getting to her, and being so badly injured made it all the worse…” Misato answers. “I think she came here last night because she’s starting to understand just how lonely and harsh it is in NERV. I think she just wanted to be around anyone else.” 

Again…Asuka is silent. Over the course of yesterday evening and now this morning alone she’s learned so much about Rei, and almost everything she learned…she hated the sound of. 

“Is there anything we can do? She hates being bandaged up like that…” Asuka mutters quietly.

“When it comes to Angel battle and commands from the highest of higher ups? I’m afraid not.” 

“Then—!” Asuka starts, but is cut off

“But. Angel attacks don’t happen very often. So as Eva pilots, you two have a lot of down-time.” 

She stands up off the couch, and walks over to Asuka. She kneels down to get to eye level, and places a hand on Asukas shoulder. 

“So I’m thinking…the best that we can do, is during that down-time...someone like you could be there for her.” Misato says gently.

Asuka’s face softens. She glances downward toward the floor…

“You're here alone a lot these days right? I'm kept at work late pretty often, and Shinji likes to go off on his own without telling anyone lately…” 

Asuka doesn’t look at Misato.

“But I get the feeling…That Rei might make a habit of these visits.” She says “She was pretty close to you just last night after all” She laughs.

Asuka’s face shoots up to look at Misato. Though when all she sees is a caring expression over her face, it prevents Asuka from trying to argue. 

“So you two should try and be there for eachother, okay? I think it’ll be good for the both of you.”

Asuka doesn’t respond, she just looks down again. Processing the idea of it all…Processing everything she just learned.

Soon the door to her room opens again, this time Rei coming out with her messy hair and a tired look still on her face. 

“Ah! Good morning Rei! Sleep well?” Misato goes on. Greeting Rei, offering her breakfast and so on. Meanwhile Asuka glances over the back of the couch to look at her. When Rei’s eyes meet with Asuka’s her face feels warm again.

This time, she doesn’t look away.

Chapter Text

“Seems there’s no real issues. You healed pretty nicely. The expected results.” Her cold uncaring eyes turned to look at the expressionless girl. “Can you move it just fine?” She asks.

“Yes.” Spoke the girl. 

“Good. Now, a small mental check-in. These will be mandatory given our new plans for you.” The cold woman starts. “During or after healing, did you or are you facing any memory loss?”

“No.” Answers the girl.

“Good.” The woman says flatly as she scribbles onto a sheet of paper “And have you faced any new, strong emotional changes lately? Of any kind?” 

“…No.”

The woman glances up from her paper. “That’s an unusual pause, I don’t think I’ve ever heard you hesitate before…”

The woman leans in. Her eyes peering through blonde bangs “Is there something you’re not telling me, Rei?”

To say that Rei was bad at most things wouldn’t be entirely correct. She was still good at what she had to do. Rei could pilot an EVA unit, do schoolwork, take (very) basic care of herself, and so on. It’s when it came to anything social that she came off as a bit unnatural. 

It didn’t help that everyone already knew her as the strange and unapproachable girl who spoke to no one and kept to herself. Having that sort of reputation meant that if you did anything different, it would be all the more obvious to everyone else…

“I think Rei is staring at you again.” Hikari says, pointing over Asukas shoulder with her chopsticks. Lunch period had started just a few moments ago.

“Huh? Still?” Asuka responds, looking over her shoulder.

Sure enough, Rei was there in the back of the class staring over at Asuka while everyone else in the classroom ate their food. She’s been doing this for the past few days now…Their eyes made contact and Asuka felt some sort of slight embarrassment in her chest. Somewhat hesitant, she turns away.

“It couldn’t have been another fight, right? It’s not like she’s really been glaring at you or anything.” 

“No…Nothing like that.” Asuka answered. Trying to focus on her food instead.

“Hm? So something did happen then!” Hikari asks. Asuka grits her teeth for a moment, wishing she had worded that differently.

“No of course not. Why would anything happen between me and her?” Asuka responds. She mutters under her breath “I avoid her like the plague anyways.”

Hikari gets an uncertain look over her face. Asuka can tell that she doesn’t believe her, so she avoids eye contact. 

“You’re doing it again.” Hikari says

“Huh? Doing what?” 

“That thing you do when you lie. The way you talk and answer like you’ve cast a defense buff and are trying to hide it.”

“I’m not lying!” Asuka’s face shoots up.

“You so are!!” Hikari almost laughs, her eyes squinting slightly as she smiles. “You can be honest you know...If anything people will be impressed that you made friends with her.” 

Asuka snorts in frustration, but her expression relaxes a bit.

“I don’t…I dunno. Yeah. we talked a few days ago.” She admits “But it’s not like we’re friends or anything. I just- It’s just a waste of energy at this point to bother hating her is all.” 

Despite this being significantly less than even half the truth, Asuka still feels her face warm up a bit. It’s true she can’t bring herself to hate Rei anymore, but honestly that just makes things more difficult. How the hell was she supposed to view her now? Especially after everything she learned the other night…

She’s broken out of her train of thought when she hears Hikari giggle again.

“You can be kindof cute sometimes, Asuka.” She smiles.

“Shut it, you’re being creepy.” Asuka frowns. 

The school day continues uneventfully. It’s not until classes end and people start going home that Asuka thinks about Rei again.

'Maybe I should speak with her again…Should I walk with her or something?' She wonders. 

It’s only been a few days since that night, but they haven’t spoken a word to each other since. It’s not like Asuka was avoiding her or anything it’s just…What would she say? What could she say? She had no idea how to approach Rei at this point. Honestly it made her feel a little guilty, and she hated feeling guilty. 

She got to the entrance of the school a bit too late. Rei was nowhere to be found and so Asuka assumed she had already headed back to her place. With nothing else to do, Asuka made her way home as well...

...Tokyo-3 really was far too quiet for how big of a city it was. Every angel attack leads to more and more people packing their things and leaving for elsewhere. There were hardly any cars on the road, barely any people out, and even her class was starting to shrink now. The usual murmur of human life and voices you expect from a city was growing ever quieter. At some points it was almost dead quiet except for electricity and machinery. 

With Shinji still in the hospital, Asuka had to take her walk home on her own. Not that she minded...she’s perfectly okay on her own after all!! All he ever does is piss her off anyways...but...the quiet was kind of oppressive today, and weirdly made her overly aware of just how alone she was out here. The whole walk home she didn’t spot a single person, or car, or any sign of life really. Soon enough though she made it back to the apartment building.

As she went up the steps and walked through the halls past each door, every so often she would hear a bit of the activity going on in some of the rooms. A TV making sound, noise from one of the higher floors and so on. Things felt a bit more normal as she reached her door and unlocked it. Opening the door and stepping in she called out. 

“I'm back.”

Shutting the door, she stood there. The bits and pieces of noise gone as the silence of the apartment room sat unbroken. Asuka grumbles a bit to herself.

“I guess I’m the only one who is.”

Setting her bag down and walking into the kitchen she goes through the fridge. She cracks open a can of soda when she spots something on the counter. 

It’s a small basket with a few things in it, she recognizes them as stuff for Shinji. Most of it was small snacks and stuff that he likes…or maybe just what Misato assumes he likes. But some of his actual things were in there too like his s-dat. A scribbled down note was placed beside it as well.

Holding it up to read Asuka looked it over. In Misato’s handwriting it read:

‘Put this together this morning and planned on bringing it over to Shinji’s room but had to rush to work last minute. Could you bring it there for me instead? I’ll be home late again so i won’t have the time. I think Rei might be there too depending on when you get there wink wink. But seriously, if she is then invite her over again! But after you deliver the basket.’

“Tsk— What do I care about either of them?” Asuka huffs. “Besides it’s his fault for getting himself in the hospital in the first place.” 

She crumples the note in her hand and throws it out. Stomping over to her room she lays on her bed and stares at the ceiling.

“Trying to get me to do errands for her. Who does she think I am?” She complains to no one.

With a heavy exhale she looks over to the side. The spare futon is still laid out on the other side of the room, she hasn’t bothered to put it away yet. She wouldn’t admit it if you asked, but for the past few nights sleeping had felt kindof off, and her sheets still smelled the tiniest bit of Rei the night after she stayed over. 

Out of curiosity she lifts the blanket to her face and inhales through her nose. They’re back to their normal smell…She sets the blanket down and sits in the silence a bit longer. Walking through the empty town and into an empty apartment with no one to greet her upon her return…Normally she wouldn’t care. 

But for whatever reason, today it put an ache in her chest. For whatever reason, she cared about it too much. For whatever reason she grit her teeth, shook her head, and sat up after thinking about it for far too long.

I’m not too sure why, maybe the stars aligned or reality itself had shifted. Or maybe the days of being alone, and the one night of company simply opened the doors in Asuka’s mind, allowing her to honestly admit something to herself. 

“I feel lonely...” She whispers, so very quietly. Her arms around her knees on which she rests her head. She sighs before standing up. With the stupid basket she couldn’t care less about in her hand, she walks out the door and towards the hospital. 

Rei is sitting on a bench in the hall by the window. The hospital is pretty empty, but it doesn’t matter to her since she’s just passing time anyways. She’s fully focused on her book until she hears the echo of footsteps approach. Glancing up she sees Asuka coming down the hall. She must be here for Shinji. 

Without noticing, Rei finds herself fixated on Asuka’s face again. Her eyes look directly ahead of her and her face seems mostly serious, as if this is more of an objective than something she’s doing out of care and concern. The way she walks supports this too. It’s closer to a stride or even a march, it’s confusing to Rei.

She realizes by now that she’s staring, but does nothing to stop it. For the past few days she’s been trying to gain an understanding of Asuka and how she could be feeling or what she could be thinking, but it’s proven to be difficult. 

Rei recognizes facial expressions and patterns but doesn’t quite understand them all the time. Asuka’s especially don’t seem to really tell much of what she’s actually thinking, which makes things even more confusing. 

Asuka eventually returns the eye contact. Her face softens a bit, why does it do that? Her walk changes as well, it slows down and is a little more awkward before she focuses again and walks into Shinji’s room. Rei stares at the door for a moment and eventually turns away. 

Rei had been thinking about Asuka since that night. She never really gathered an idea on how Asuka felt about everything that happened, especially they hadn’t spoken to each other since then. She kept feeling the need to look at her though, to think about her and to wonder about her. She still remembered the feeling of Asuka’s skin against hers, the smell of her shirt, her warmth from when they were so very close to each other under the blanket. 

She thought about how she spoke to her when tightening the bandages, and how it felt when she removed some of them as well, that weird light feeling in her chest and stomach...She just had the rest removed today and it didn’t feel anything like that this time, was it to do with Asuka? 

Like that was even a question...She knew it was because it was Asuka, the real question to her was why.

The door to Shinji’s hospital room slides shut again, it snaps Rei out of her train of thought. She looks up and sees Asuka, who’s already looking over toward her.

“What’re you sitting around here for? I thought you wanted nothing to do with this place.” She asked

Rei blinked a bit before answering “It’s a clear view from this window. So I was waiting for the sun to set again.”

Asuka sits beside Rei. Her body heat was enough to make Reis chest feel light again. 

“That’s your only reason?” She says rudely “It’s seriously nothing special.” 

“I like it.” Rei states. 

It’s quiet between them for a moment. Asuka grits her teeth and furrows her brow as she glances to the side. She lets out a breath and relaxes her face again. Turning to Rei she speaks a little more normally.

“How about we go outside and watch it then. It’s not very comfortable in here anyways...” 

In front of the hospital, the two girls lean against the wall facing the parking lot. The sun already started to set, but Rei didn’t seem to mind. She quickly focused on the somewhat clear view.

It was quiet between them, Rei was focused while Asuka was staring at the ground. She came here mostly just so she could talk to Rei, but still has no clue what to actually say. She glances over to Rei. Her eyes take in the sight of her skin.

Rei’s skin is exceptionally pale. Pale to the point that it’s almost concerning. It still has that fragile look to it, and yet Asuka still feels the desire to reach out and touch it, even though it feels like it might break if she did. 

“I’m glad to see your bandages are off.” Asuka says. Trying to come of as natural.

“Mm” Rei responds “Thank you for taking some of them off the other day.” 

“Y-yeah. No problem...” 

It’s back to silence for a moment, a light breeze blows by before one of them speaks up again.

“You healed really quickly it seems. Shinji’s still beat up pretty bad...Were you not hurt as badly as him somehow?” Asuka asks.

Rei doesn’t answer, but she shifts uncomfortably. Asuka feels like things are a bit awkward now, maybe Rei didn’t wanna talk about that sort of thing...

It’s silent again. The sky goes from orange to pinkish. There aren’t many clouds in the sky anymore, which makes it feel massive...and empty.

“Were you really only staying here for the sunset?” Asuka asks quietly “I thought you hated it here.” 

“I do hate it here.”  Rei answers. “But it’s quiet here, and a better view compared to my room.” 

‘quiet, huh...’ Asuka whispers

The sun had mostly set by now, and the dark blue of the night was starting to settle in. Glancing over at Rei, Asuka noticed the very subtle downcast look on her face. She looks back to the ground. What next? She just goes home after this? Back to the deafening silence of an empty apartment? 

Asuka sighs...She knows that that’s not what happens next. She wouldn’t have come here if that were the case. She turns to look at Rei. 

“Do you...You can come over again tonight. If you want.” Asuka says.

Rei’s face changes, her eyebrows raise slightly and her eyes refocus as she turns to look at Asuka.

“Really?” 

“Y-Yeah...Misato’s not home tonight and...I guess i’d like the company.” She grits her teeth. It’s embarrassing to admit all of this, but she felt that she’d regret it if she didn’t say anything.

Rei is silent for a moment, thinking to herself. Truth is, with the way Asuka worded the offer, it wasn’t like Rei was responding to a question or following some type of order or instruction. It wouldn’t be like the other night either where she came over without thinking about it.

This time it was entirely up to her. It was fully her decision on whether to do something or not. No logic or reason behind it, just her own desire her own feeling. It was almost overwhelming.

To anyone else Rei would appear zoned out. For Asuka however, she’s been watching Rei close enough to notice that she was thinking deeply to herself. It was kind of amusing. 

Asuka cracks a small smile “What? Never made a conscious decision for yourself before?” 

Rei snapped out of it and grit her teeth for a moment, her brow furrowing creating an almost frustrated expression. “Of course I have.” She snaps.

Asuka laughs to herself. It’s rare to get an actual expression out of Rei. 

It’s quiet for another short moment before Rei answers. “I can come over. I think I’d also like the company tonight.” 

Despite how much embarrassment Asuka felt in asking Rei to come over, hearing Rei agree to it made it entirely worth it. And any embarrassment she felt beforehand was forgotten that same moment. 

Soon after that, Asuka and Rei walked through the empty streets of Tokyo-3.  Footsteps echoing and the silence deafening...and yet, to Asuka it wasn’t as bad as earlier. 

She glances up to look at Rei. It’s darker out already and the moon has started to shine. Just like last night, the moon’s light on Rei seemed to make her glow. Reflecting off her hair and even her skin a little bit, and Asuka couldn’t look away. She just looked weirdly angelic in a way. She looked so...

“It really is quiet out here.” Rei says suddenly, snapping Asuka out of her trance. 

“Huh? Oh- Yeah…It is.” Asuka responds.

“Is it always like this?” 

“Pretty much...” 

Rei turns to look at Asuka. “You don’t like it?” She asks. 

Asuka looks at Rei as well “It’s just weird...isn’t it?” She looks around the empty streets. “It’s just too quiet for a city this big.” 

Rei thinks for a moment. “I wouldn’t know...I haven’t paid attention to it until recently.” 

“What d’you you mean?” 

“I didn’t care about or feel much of anything until recently...” Rei answers, thinking back to the past month or so.

She continues “It’s...stressful. There’s so many things on my mind, and so many things I’ve never thought about or felt before...I don’t know what to do about most of it.” 

She turns to look at Asuka “The noise at my apartment doesn’t help either. I’m more aware of it than ever...”

She looks ahead of herself again. Asuka isn’t sure what to say...She’s learning things about her again, and worse she’s worrying about her. Again. 

Rei turns to face Asuka again “Thank you for inviting me over tonight.” She says “It’ll be nice to get away from the noise.”

Asuka scoffs “What’re you thanking me for? I invited you over because I was the lonely one.” 

Despite her attempt at acting abrasive, Asuka couldn’t ignore her chest feeling light, and her face getting warm. She glanced back at Rei who wasn’t looking at Asuka anymore, but she was smiling to herself. A small but clear smile. Asuka had to turn away, because that sight only made her chest lighter and her face warmer, and those were feelings that she wasn’t sure she wanted to acknowledge yet.

Entering Misato’s apartment, Rei is met with the same sight as last time. Only this time it’s less of an unfamiliar feeling, and more of a warm one. The quiet air and extra room, the lived in mess, all of it felt so much better than the empty and cramped box she usually stayed in. 

“You gonna keep standing around or are you gonna come in?” Asuka says, taking Rei out of her thoughts. 

“Sorry.” She says quietly, fully entering the apartment again.

“Jeez don’t start apologizing, you’ll sound like Shinji.” Asuka mutters. 

Walking into Asuka’s room along side her, Rei asks “Are you worried about him at all? He still hasn’t woken up yet.” 

She snorts “Like it’s worth worrying over someone like him.” Asuka murmurs “He always wakes up at some point, then he goes right back to ignoring everyone anyways. So why waste energy worrying.” 

Asuka begins to change out of her school uniform.

“Maybe piloting the EVAs is hard on him.” Rei says quietly. 

Asuka is silent for a moment “It’s hard on all of us.” She says, just as quiet. “Running off on his own doesn’t make it easier for anyone. Just leaves us all to fend for ourselves.” 

Her words settle in the air for a moment. The two of them being here together means more to them than either of them realize, even if they couldn’t stand each other just a few weeks ago. 

“It is better, being nearby someone who’s...somewhat...similar to you.” Rei murmurs.

“Yeah well...not like I had much choice” Asuka says, with a slight smile that betrays her words and tone. She glances back at Rei for a moment as she says this. 

Then does a double take when she realizes Rei is looking directly at her. 

“HAVE YOU BEEN WATCHING ME CHANGE THIS WHOLE TIME???” She shouts.

Rei is taken aback, her face flushed slightly “Y-Yes? We change together in the NERV locker rooms. Isn’t that the same thing?”

“TH-THATS TOTALLY DIFFERENT! JUST- G-GETOUTFORAMINUTE!!”

Once Rei is swiftly kicked out, the both of them let out a sigh.

‘Was it that weird?’ Rei wonders. ‘Maybe because she was the only one changing?’ She can’t figure out an answer, but the more she thinks about the situation the more her face warms up. ‘I should have payed closer attention...’

Asuka meanwhile was finishing up getting changed, but was also stuck on what just happened.

“She was staring way too hard.” She mutters to herself. “I can’t believe I didn’t notice sooner...I’ve been alone here way too long.” 

As much as she wanted to be frustrated, she could only manage to feel embarrassed, and most of that embarrassment was from how she reacted. Rei staring at her should’ve been the thing to bother her more, but she felt worse for yelling about it. 

Her face warm and her chest anxious she shakes her head and tries to stop thinking about it. she puts her uniform away, and walks out of her room. 

“There. Now you can go in, you get changed too.” Asuka says to Rei as soon she steps out.

“You’re giving me your clothes again?” Rei asks.

“Wha- Cmon don’t word it like that. You make it sound weirder than it is.” She stammers. “You just don’t have any other clothes right? There’s not much choice if you’re staying the night.”

“I’m staying the night again?” Rei asks in a somewhat surprised tone. A part of her wasn’t expecting to be over for the night again so easily.

“Huh-? Of-Of course.” Asuka says, turning away “I...figured you’d want to.”

Rei is quiet for a moment. “Do we get to share the bed again?”

“CAN YOU GO CHANGE ALREADY?”

With Rei in Asuka’s room, Asuka sits down on the couch. She felt her face was a lot more flushed than she would’ve liked tonight, but she still thought this was better than the alternative. It was loud and a little stressful in such a short amount of time, but she preferred it to the uncomfortable silence of an empty apartment.

Even when Rei returned, and the apartment stayed quiet as they sat together on the couch with nothing to do...Asuka still preferred it. The silence that was in the air this time was a much more comfortable one than the silence she dealt with when alone. They sat a little closer to eachother than last time. Not very close, but...closer. 

Rei liked the quiet, and Asuka liked the company. So neither of them had any real complaints. Their minds were preoccupied with plenty of other things I’m sure, but having the other there made it easier even if it was awkward to admit. Asuka was a little annoyed about Misato being correct...but she was kind of glad that Misato was correct too. Things don’t feel as stressful with someone else around, and part of her was glad it was Rei.

It gets to be later in the night. Late enough that Asuka sees Rei nodding off. She turns off the TV and stands, stretching for a moment.

“We should probably sleep.” Asuka says “If you pass out here Misato will try to make me feel bad about it.” 

“Mmn” Rei mutters, too tired to give an actual response. 

Together in Asuka’s room, Rei is setting up her futon on the other side of the room. Meanwhile Asuka sits up in her bed, distracted by her own thoughts. She glances over at Rei…then faces ahead of her again. She brings a hand through her hair, scrunching it in thought. 

Finally, she gets her words out. “I...I feel bad, making you sleep on the floor.” She mutters, still loud enough to get Rei’s attention.

“Hm?”

“It’s just...I dunno it’s weird, just...” She grits her teeth. it’s embarrassing again, having to be the one to say this.

“If you want...we can...we can share mine again.”  She finally gets out. “I mean, you wanted to earlier anyways right?” She murmurs, trying to hide her embarrassment.

“R-Really?” Rei asks

“God-You keep asking that...I said it didn’t I? Yes really. Hurry up already.” Asuka responds, turned away to hide her blushing face. 

When Rei gets into Asuka’s bed, Asuka quickly turns the lights off and lays down on her back. It’s quiet and awkward for a moment, like neither of them know what to do. Soon though, Rei starts to carefully and loosely wrap herself around Asuka like last time, unable to resist the contact for too long. 

Almost immediately Asuka turns over and pulls Rei in, bringing her very close with her arms wrapped tight around her somewhat cold body, and extremely soft pale skin. 

Rei is taken by suprise, but just as quickly she melts into the embrace, wrapping her arms around Asuka in return, letting out a breath she had been holding into Asuka’s chest. 

“I’m glad you spoke to me again.” Rei whispers. “I was worried you were upset.” 

Asuka is quiet for a moment. “Sorry...I wanted to say something but...I dunno, you’re impossible to approach.”  

“I am?” 

“You are.” 

“I see...” 

“But...I was also just kind of scared I guess.” Asuka continues. “I just didn’t know what I would say, I was too used to hating you.” 

“Do you still hate me?” Rei asks

“N-No...not really. I can’t bring myself to anymore.” 

“Then how do you feel about me?” 

Asuka freezes for a moment. 
“I...I dunno, but I don’t hate you.”

“...”

“...”

“Should we try friends then?” Rei suggests.

Asuka grits her teeth, and then relaxes.
“Yeah...yeah. Let’s do that, start from there I guess...” She whispers, tightening her hug around Rei.

After another short beat of silence, Rei asks whispering “Is this something friends do?” 

“No...not really.” Asuka responds quietly.

She buries her face into Rei’s hair “But I like it anyways.” 

The door to the apartment gently opens as an exhausted woman enters the room. Quietly closing it behind her she sighs. Work kept her late and she felt so very guilty about it, but she had no time to stress about that. She needed sleep.

So the tired woman drags her feet across the hall to her messy room, where she changes and tosses her clothes to the ever growing pile on the floor. 

Before she sleeps though, she enters the hall again, walking to the door labeled Asuka. Sliding it open just a crack, she peeks through. 

When she sees Asuka and Rei fast asleep, holding each other close under the covers of one bed, she smiles.

Work holds her late, and she has to leave very early in the morning. She felt so very guilty about it, but seeing that those two girls at least had each other put her at ease. 

So the door slides shut just as softly as it was opened, and the tired woman can sleep with a little less guilt weighing on her chest.