Work Text:
[picklplumz123 is online.]
picklplumz123: hiiiii every on!!
what is this gruop? I don't remember being added hear :0
[dynam0_drag0n is online.]
dynam0_drag0n: it's probably some bullshit aloha added us to again
let's leave gogs
[PinkPartyAnimal is online.]
PinkPartyAnimal: noooo it wasn't meeeee
dynam0_drag0n: you sure?
PinkPartyAnimal: i'm sure!!
dynam0_drag0n: and how do I know you're not lying?
picklplumz123: y wood Aloha lie?????
dynam0_drag0n: …he literally introduced himself to you by kidnapping somebody and stealing their identity
picklplumz123: yeah and??? he's very nice :D
dynam0_drag0n: you're an idiot.
picklplumz123: I know <3
[Galax_Dragon is online.]
dynam0_drag0n: And who tf are you??
aloha is this one of your stupid party hookups
PinkPartyAnimal: WHAAAAT NO
I DON'T KNOW THIS BITCH EITHER
Galax_Dragon: wow rude
you don't even know me and you're already calling me a bitch :/
picklplumz123: HIII WHO R U??? IM GOGGLZ NICE TO MEAT U :D
Galax_Dragon: I know who you are.
But you can call me Galax. Or Mars. Either works.
dynam0_drag0n: what
how do you know who we are
Galax_Dragon: you idiots are literally turf celebrities
dynam0_drag0n: doesn't explain how we're in a group chat with you all of a sudden
Galax_Dragon: i'm the one who added y'all here :)
dynam0_drag0n: …what
how do you know our users
who tf even are you
Galax_Dragon: I already introduced myself :(
PinkPartyAnimal: you a fan~?
there's
there's better ways to introduce yourself to celebrities yknow
Galax_Dragon: calling me a fan wouldn't be wrong
but i'm much more than that
dynam0_drag0n: could you stop being cryptic please
Galax_Dragon: no :)
[Galax_Dragon is offline.]
picklplumz123: That guy was fun :D
dynam0_drag0n: no tf they weren't
they were creepy
i'm leaving this group chat
picklplumz123: noooo :(
dynam0_drag0n: and you're leaving too gogs. come on
[RavenTheChaosLord is online.]
RavenTheChaosLord: what the fucking hell is this
dynam0_drag0n: who the FUCK are you???
PinkPartyAnimal: heeeyyyy
RavenTheChaosLord: …aloha?
PinkPartyAnimal: that's me~! you another fan?
dynam0_drag0n: that Mars creep was NOT a fan
RavenTheChaosLord: …aloha you know me
PinkPartyAnimal: do I???
i'm not good with names sorry
did we hook up at a party?
RavenTheChaosLord: …uhhhhh no
we uh
we're dating aloha
PinkPartyAnimal: NO TF WE AREN'T???
[ChaosPartyAnimal is online.]
ChaosPartyAnimal: heyyyyy guys
heyyyyy raveyyyy <3333
PinkPartyAnimal: what
who's this joker
RavenTheChaosLord: that's
that's aloha I think
yeah that's his username
but
ok what the fuck
picklplumz123: SORRY I WENT TO THE BATHROOM
HIIII NEW GUYS IM GOGGLZ >w<
RavenTheChaosLord: WHAT
DON'T
DON'T SAY THAT FUCKING NAME
you didn't even spell it correctly smh
picklplumz123: wat name??
gogglz?
but that's my name :(((((
RavenTheChaosLord: NO TF IT ISN'T
dynam0_drag0n: uhhhh ok what the fuck
what do you have against goggles
are you mad because it beat you in a battle
picklplumz123: I beet a lot of edgelords in battlz but not this 1!! :D
RavenTheChaosLord: WHY ARE YOU PRETENDING TO BE HIM
picklplumz123: pretending to be who???
RavenTheChaosLord: GOGGLES
picklplumz123: I'm not pretending :0
ChaosPartyAnimal: are we just ignoring the fact that there seems to be two of me
PinkPartyAnimal: well OBVIOUSLY one of us is the imposter
and OBVIOUSLY it's you
dynam0_drag0n: somebody impersonating aloha?? what a turn of events
ChaosPartyAnimal: IM NOT A FUCKING IMPOSTER
YOU'RE THE IMPOSTER
PinkPartyAnimal: NO I'M NOT
WHO TF IS "CHAOSPARTYANIMAL" THAT'S NOT MY FUCKING USERNAME
ChaosPartyAnimal: YEAH IT'S NOT YOUR USERNAME BECAUSE
YOU'RE AN IMPOSTER
PinkPartyAnimal: you're the one dating this RAVEN edgelord bitch
RavenTheChaosLord: excuse me??
what the fuck is happening
there's two alohas and somebody is pretending to be my past self??
and who's this dynamo dragon person
dynam0_drag0n: i'm Rider??
RavenTheChaosLord: …ok this is going too far
this is a stupid joke and all three of you are getting executed
dynam0_drag0n: WHAT
RavenTheChaosLord: TF YOU MEAN WHAT
YOU CAN'T JUST GO AROUND IMPERSONATING DEAD PEOPLE
dynam0_drag0n: IM NOT IMPERSONATING ANYONE
RavenTheChaosLord: you literally SAID you were rider
dynam0_drag0n: that's because I am
RavenTheChaosLord: no tf you aren't
Rider died
In my arms
He was fucking STABBED
AND YOU'RE FUCKING IMPERSONATING HIM
dynam0_drag0n: ??????
I don't remember dying
picklplumz123: yeaaaah Rider is very alive :D
[Galax_Dragon is online.]
Galax_Dragon: you all are fucking idiots
all five of you listen to me.
has it occurred to you that other universes exist besides your own?
[Galax_Dragon is offline.]
RavenTheChaosLord: who tf was that
dynam0_drag0n: that's what we've BEEN asking
PinkPartyAnimal: Was he implying that alternate universes exist??
ChaosPartyAnimal: That explains the clone of me
PinkPartyAnimal: IM NOT A FUCKING CLONE
ChaosPartyAnimal: prove it
PinkPartyAnimal: HOW TF DO I PROVE IT???
RavenTheChaosLord: ok. alohas. listen.
neither of you are clones and neither of you are imposters
I think what that Galaxy dragon person was saying is that you are alternate universe versions of each other
Which means…
picklplumz123: what does that mean :D
RavenTheChaosLord: Goggles
I'm an alternate universe version of you
picklplumz123: WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAT
that's crazy :0 why did I turn edgy :0
RavenTheChaosLord: it's a long story
[Galax_Dragon is online.]
Galax_Dragon: 81,250 words to be exact
RavenTheChaosLord: ????
Galax_Dragon: also i'm surprised the others haven't gotten here yet
@Bloodlust_Vanity @WatcherAndWeaver get over here
[Galax_Dragon is offline.]
dynam0_drag0n: what kind of usernames are THOSE
picklplumz123: they sound fun!!
dynam0_drag0n: what kind of username is BLOODLUST VANITY
PinkPartyAnimal: is that a reference to a certain flavor foley song
ChaosPartyAnimal: flavor what
PinkPartyAnimal: nvm
ChaosPartyAnimal: no. elaborate
PinkPartyAnimal: look up butcher vanity
ChaosPartyAnimal: oh ok
RavenTheChaosLord: ok let me get this straight
ChaosPartyAnimal: none of us are straight
especially not you
RavenTheChaosLord: …
let me get this straight
this is some kind of multiversal group chat
@picklplumz123 @dynam0_drag0n @PinkPartyAnimal you all are from some universe where the apocalypse didn't happen
dynam0_drag0n: the what
RavenTheChaosLord: and there's more people here??
possibly more universes??
picklplumz123: sounds about rite :D
RavenTheChaosLord: …I feel nauseous
ChaosPartyAnimal: RAVEEYYYY NOOO </3
can I help??
RavenTheChaosLord: i'll be fine dw allie
PinkPartyAnimal: sorry but that's the stupidest nickname i've ever heard
RavenTheChaosLord: shut the fuck up
[Bloodlust_Vanity is online.]
Bloodlust_Vanity: and what is this?
Some kind of avatar group chat?
dynam0_drag0n: What the fuck is an avatar
Bloodlust_Vanity: WHY is somebody using my old username
dynam0_drag0n: …oh no
you're not an alternate version of me are you
Bloodlust_Vanity: depends
is your name rider
dynam0_drag0n: yeah…
Bloodlust_Vanity: oh so you are
dynam0_drag0n: …great
wonderful
ok
so how much did this universe fuck me up
Bloodlust_Vanity: ????
dynam0_drag0n: you know what I'm talking about weirdo
@RavenTheChaosLord is an alternate version of goggles
and this "apocalypse" clearly fucked him up so badly that he turned into this edgy bitch called "Raven"
RavenTheChaosLord: EXCUSE ME???
I'M MUCH MORE THAN AN "EDGY BITCH"
I COULD EASILY KILL YOU
Bloodlust_Vanity: Oh? You're going to kill him?
RavenTheChaosLord: …only if I have to
dynam0_drag0n: you wouldn't kill a version of Rider. you lost Rider, didn't you?
RavenTheChaosLord: yeah but this specific Rider is a bitch
Bloodlust_Vanity: ok if you kill him can I eat his corpse afterwards
dynam0_drag0n: WHAT
RavenTheChaosLord: WHAT
ChaosPartyAnimal: WHAT
picklplumz123: cannibalism??? :0
PinkPartyAnimal: geez no wonder his username is a butcher vanity reference i think
Bloodlust_Vanity: that song is so me <3
they do indeed say my hunger's a problem
dynam0_drag0n: WHY IS THE ALTERNATE UNIVERSE VERSION OF ME A CANNIBAL
Bloodlust_Vanity: better question: why are you acting as if cannibalism is like. not normal
dynam0_drag0n: WHAT
I'M FUCKING SCARED
picklplumz123: me too tbh! let's leave Riri <3
Bloodlust_Vanity: if any of you leave I will find you.
And I've always wondered what my own flesh tasted like :)
dynam0_drag0n: this is genuinely terrifying please leave
Bloodlust_Vanity: and why would I listen to a weaker version of myself?
RavenTheChaosLord: I have lightning powers. I could kill you. @Bloodlust_Vanity please leave
Bloodlust_Vanity: that's kind of gay
RavenTheChaosLord: ?????????????
Bloodlust_Vanity: the edgy version of my bf is threatening to kill me…cute
I bet my kill count is higher than yours
RavenTheChaosLord: Well what's your fucking kill count?
Bloodlust_Vanity: well I shouldn't have said that. because it's so high that i lost count long ago
RavenTheChaosLord: well. uh. so did I. see i'm equally as evil and terrifying as you are
Bloodlust_Vanity: you sure~?
RavenTheChaosLord: why did you put that punctuation there
Bloodlust_Vanity: what punctuantion
RavenTheChaosLord: the little ~ thingy
are you flirting with me
Bloodlust_Vanity: uhhhh I mean I do find the fact that you are an emo version of goggles with lightning powers hot
and you're the chaos lord…you have power…
I bet you're weaker than the people see you as, though <3
dynam0_drag0n: this is genu inly the mots terrif ign tiem of my life please let me leave
picklplumz123: yeaaah you're making him so scared that his hands are shaky and he can't type well :( leave it alone :(
dynam0_drag0n: wwhy did you say that gog s
now he knows
Bloodlust_Vanity: where the fuck is my own gogs
wait
@WatcherAndWeaver get over here this is fucking hilarious
dynam0_drag0n: plea s I dont care about your bf please
[WatcherAndWeaver is online.]
WatcherAndWeaver: RIRI WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS
Bloodlust_Vanity: some kind of weird ass multiversal group chat
there's weak and stupid versions of us here
WatcherAndWeaver: OHHHH
SEE I TOLD YOU ALTERNATE UNIVERSES WERE REAL
Bloodlust_Vanity: yeah whatever you were right
WatcherAndWeaver: I knew I was right!! I'm always right!! The Eye reveals all <3
picklplumz123: wats the eye lol
WatcherAndWeaver: AWWWW IS THIS AN AU VERSION OF ME
picklplumz123: you're me??
WatcherAndWeaver: AWWWW HE'S SO ADORABLE AND STUPIDDDD
picklplumz123: that's not very nice :(
RavenTheChaosLord: OH SHIT IS THERE ANOTHER ME
WatcherAndWeaver: and yoouuuu must be the me that went through a villain arc after his lover died and then had an identity crisis over it!!
RavenTheChaosLord: uhhhh I never told you that
WatcherAndWeaver: you're still stupid like the other one <3 good to know <3
RavenTheChaosLord: I don't like you
WatcherAndWeaver: You think you're soooooo powerful and edgy…when you're just a fucking wannabe. I bet you still watch MLP because it reminds you of riri <3
RavenTheChaosLord: AND SO WHAT IF I SEE MY DEAD BF IN RAINBOW DASH??
THAT'S NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS
Bloodlust_Vanity: hey stop bullying the edgelord he's actually kind of cute
WatcherAndWeaver: he isssss…
Bloodlust_Vanity: wonder if his flesh would have an electricity to it…
WatcherAndWeaver: you wanna eat his flesh?
Bloodlust_Vanity: what else would I be suggesting
WatcherAndWeaver: i'll watch <3
RavenTheChaosLord: please don't eat my flesh
Bloodlust_Vanity: dw i'll keep your pretty face intact
may even regenerate your missing organs if I feel like it
if I feel like keeping you alive
WatcherAndWeaver: can you keep him alive? he's entertaining!!
RavenTheChaosLord: Where the fuck did the alohas go
@PinkPartyAnimal @ChaosPartyAnimal I see y'all online
PinkPartyAnimal: SORRYYY WE GOT DISTRACTED
ChaosPartyAnimal: I was dm-ing him chaospocalyse lore
PinkPartyAnimal: Yeah!!!!!
it sounds horrible lol
RavenTheChaosLord: aloha from my universe please protect me
there's a cannibal hitting on me
ChaosPartyAnimal: WHAT
Bloodlust_Vanity: hey
RavenTheChaosLord: If you keep threatening to eat my flesh I will kill you
Bloodlust_Vanity: i'd like to see you try dear
also it's not a threat it's a promise
WatcherAndWeaver: yeaaah being cannibalized by him is actually really nice <3
if he keeps you alive
which he probably will I think he likes you <3
Bloodlust_Vanity: eh, mixed feelings
PinkPartyAnimal: weird goggles what are you suggesting
romantic cannibalism??
WatcherAndWeaver: yeah :D
PinkPartyAnimal: ok I'm scared
where did regular Rider go I like him
dynam0_drag0n: nno the fuck you don't
picklplumz123: RIDER IT'S OK WEIRD CANNIBAL YOU CAN'T HURT YOU
Bloodlust_Vanity: if multiversal texting exists, multiversal travel exists.
I will find you, Rider :)
dynam0_drag0n: youu ssur about that gog s?
WatcherAndWeaver: Riri great idea!! We should totally figure out multiversal travel and spread our influence throughout the multiverse <3
Bloodlust_Vanity: sounds like a beautiful date
RavenTheChaosLord: what kind of fucking date is that
Bloodlust_Vanity: a beautiful date can you not read
[Galax_Dragon is online.]
Galax_Dragon: ok I think this chatfic has become too cannibalism-focused
[Galax_Dragon kicked Bloodlust_Vanity from the chat.]
[Galax_Dragon kicked WatcherAndWeaver from the chat.]
Galax_Dragon: there
those fucking weirdos istg
why did I make them like that in corotma
dynam0_drag0n: oh my godddd thank you
picklplumz123: that was scary :D
I don't like those guys!
dynam0_drag0n: I'm going to have nightmares about cannibalism now
RavenTheChaosLord: most traumatizing experience of my life
why would anybody write fanfics featuring them
Galax_Dragon: idfk lol
[Galax_Dragon is offline.]
RavenTheChaosLord: why do I get the feeling that guy is lying
dynam0_drag0n: about what?
RavenTheChaosLord: …nvm
dynam0_drag0n: ok I've had enough weirdness get me out of here
picklplumz123: I dont think we're allowd to leaf :D
dynam0_drag0n: well i'm leaving. You are too gogs. We have better things to do
[dynam0_drag0n is offline.]
picklplumz123: awww I wanted to talk more to edgy me :(
oh well!
[picklplumz123 sent RavenTheChaosLord a friend request.]
RavenTheChaosLord: I'm not fucking accepting that
[picklplumz123 is offline.]
RavenTheChaosLord: good fucking riddance -_-
PinkPartyAnimal: uh…this is awkward lol
bye guys it was fun~~
[PinkPartyAnimal is offline.]
ChaosPartyAnimal: Other me is right, this was fun~
RavenTheChaosLord: even the cannibal version of Rider? that was terrifying
ChaosPartyAnimal: And entertaining
RavenTheChaosLord: well you weren't being flirted with in a terribly morbid way
ChaosPartyAnimal: uhhh do you want to stop texting and make out
RavenTheChaosLord: yeah sounds great
[ChaosPartyAnimal is offline.]
[RavenTheChaosLord is offline.]
[Galax_Dragon is online.]
Galax_Dragon: looks like this chatfic is over huh
and the corokina guys didn't even say anything…
oh well :/
[Galax_Dragon is offline.]
—
(Meanwhile, in Corokina)
—
"WHAT IS THIS DEMONIC THING," Army yelled, holding the strange glowing tablet at a distance.
"I-I mean, I'm sure if you investigated it instead of screaming you would know—" Aloha started, but then let out a shriek when the tablet vibrated again.
"IT WON'T STOP VIBRATING!!" Army shrieked.
"OKAY I THINK WE SHOULD KILL IT," Aloha shouted.
And so Army threw the small tablet onto the ground and stabbed it repeatedly with his sword.