Work Text:
Death: 45,607
Whereabouts: Unknown
Dear Diary,
I feel so silly doing this, but I might actually lose all my screws if I don't. I always thought diaries were useless, teenage garbage. However being in this purgatory really pushes you to desperate solutions, so here goes.
The last death was tame, but had peculiar circumstances. As I write this, I am at a place called “cafe de maigot,” awaiting my next death.
After experiencing another variation of being run over by a truck, I ended up in this odd metal room. There was a man with nearly black, shaggy hair that surrounded his face, and had a shaggy beard to go with it. He wore white gloves, a red turtle-neck-esque top underneath his navy blue jacket. What caught my attention most, however, was the skinny emerald triangle on the right side. It rested by his collar, and upon first glance reminded me of a fancy zipper.
Beside him, he had a naked teenage girl with pale blue hair. I still cannot fathom why other than the fact he may just be a pervert, however I feel I should not dwell on it. I probably will never see them again, though there are some recurring people he runs into.
There was a third, a woman with a short blonde bob. She had a mole underneath her eye. She wore a blue dress-shirt, pencil skirt, and a lab coat. If I had to guess, she was a scientist. The man held a gun to her chest, while the young girl just stood there unfazed.
Just when I thought this couldn’t get any more bizarre, I see an alien. Or maybe not, however it was a big white…humanoid blob being crucified. I remember stupidly thinking to myself “Is this what Jesus truly looks like?” Even worse though, it had seven eyes, if I remember correctly. All arranged in two columns, with one extra hence the odd number of them.
Not to mention, there was orange liquid all around the thin sheet of metal we were on. It looked like Orange Fanta to me, but didn’t smell like it. My mind was practically blown, everything was just so odd. For a moment, the girl made eye contact with me, which was freakishly uncomfortable. She had red eyes-not bloodshot, just red pupils.
I remember giggling to myself and muttering, wondering if the orange liquid was the bodies of many crushed into juice. No one noticed, as always.
Eventually I blocked out the minimal noise around me. The man was talking to the woman, whom he called Ritsuko. She seemed to have made some futile attempt to blow the place up, but her switch didn’t go off. Witnessing situations like these puts me at ease; It’s a solemn reminder that the palms of fate don’t show much mercy. He felt a kinship with whatever that Ritsuko woman was trying to achieve by blowing up the room.
The actual cause of death? Gunshot, but I don’t even fully understand what happened leading up to it. The man started talking to the naked girl, if I remember correctly, he said something along the lines of “I’m already one with Adam. This is the only way to reunite with Yui.” I’m assuming the humanoid(ish) blob is what he’s referring to, even if this raises even more questions for me. Based on his intensity, I wondered if this Yui is a lover of his? No, more than that. She must’ve been a soulmate he hasn’t moved on from, considering the length he was willing to go for her. I understand though, even though I didn’t really know it before, I’d do the same to reunite with my Doppio.
There were a few more hushed words, but the one that stood out to me was when the girl said “I’m not your doll” while the man’s hand was inside her. Literally. As if her body was not sentient and hers, but the moment she took ownership, her body seemingly ejected his. I personally found it quite poetic. The softness in which she spoke reminded me of my Doppio; the quiet determination in her eyes was the same when we overcame a new challenge. I admired her liberation as it's not entirely different from the one I long for myself. So when I saw her merge with the humanoid blob, I felt happy for her, which was odd. Perhaps I’ve gone delirious after all these different deaths.
Anyways, with the same grace as a god, she descended out of the room, floating. No, more so growing to an astronomical size. I was curious to see what was going to happen next, however the man shot me before I could.
Maybe I’ll go back there to see a different scenario one day. But I do wish the blue-hair girl luck.