Archive of Our Own

The idea of soulmates was always a foreign thing to Carl Grimes. Throughout his entire life, it always seemed to be a subject his parents tried to avoid.

See, his parents were not each other’s other half. When they met and got married there were no predetermined sparks or destiny saying they had to be together.

That issue always seemed to bother his mother more than it did his father. He wasn’t sure why Lori married Rick in the first place if that was the case.

Rick had always been a distant yet kind father to him. Someone who put up way more than they had to when it came to his mother’s attitude. It never mattered how much she tormented him, he always tried to keep the peace.

Carl grew up hearing small jabs Lori would make about Rick to her friends. The snarky smiles and backhanded compliments were just a part of who Lori Grimes was.

One topic in particular was her soulmate. She would constantly talk about how much better her life could be if she actually knew them.

‘I’m just saying’ she would sigh as she sipped tea on the porch with the neighbor, ‘my life could have been better with them. Maybe they would love me more than Rick.’

Carl wonders if his father would have cared. If he had heard what his wife said behind his back, how she always tried to pick a fight. Would he be angry? if he was, would he let his rage brew in silence or let it all out one day?

He doesn’t think his dad would be mad. No matter how busy he got with work, he never stooped so low as to raise his voice. Especially in front of his son.

No, Lori’s words stuck with Carl more. Having had to spend hours on end with her.

The thing that stuck out most was how she would describe soulmates. As if they were the best thing in the world.

‘A soulmate is someone who would love you despite all your flaws and quirks.’ She smiled as she tucked him into bed. ‘They are your partner-in-crime. The second half of your soul.’

‘Will I ever meet my soulmate?’ He would ask with a curiosity only a child could have.

‘Yes.’ She said that as if there was no other option. ‘You will meet your soulmate.’

She always liked the idea that soulmates were only romantic. That they should get married and have a family together.

Carl didn’t mind what kind of love he was given, but he wondered what type it would be.

Would it be a tender love, like his mother wanted? Or would it be friendship like his dad and Shane had? Siblings? Friends? Lovers?

What kind of love would they want? Carl believes he would accept any kind of love. Any kind they were willing to give him, he would take gratefully.

After Atlanta had been bombed, his whole world changed. Suddenly it became less about finding love and more about surviving long enough to see tomorrow.

Shane had been the one to get them out of there. The entire time Lori was packing their things into the car she was on the phone with the man.

As it turns out, Shane and Lori had been soulmates. They had only found out once the grief of Rick being shot brought them together.

Since then they had been seeing each other for a while, though only as friends. The moment Shane claimed that Rick had died, that changed.

Lori and Carl grieved for days over Rick. The only difference was that Lori moved on a lot quicker than her son.

She seemed happier now that she had found her soulmate. More happy than Carl had ever seen her.

Maybe he should be excited for this new chapter in his mother’s life. But for now all he wanted to do was grieve his father. 

Sophia was someone he would not mind having as a soulmate. In fact, when they first met he thought for sure that she would be the one. From the moment they started to talk it had been as if they’d know each other for years.

Lori and Carol, Sophia’s mother, had been overjoyed by this. The rest of the ride there his mom continued to chat his ear off about how happy she was that he found the one.

But Sophia wasn’t the one. There were no sparks between them, no sudden realization like his mom had told him about. When Carl told Lori that, her spirit turned sour.

‘Oh.’ She had frowned. Lori didn’t say anything more after that and Shane had handed Carl one of his favorite comics with a smile.

‘It’s okay, kiddo. There isn’t any rush to find them. You’re still young.’

As they made their way to their new camp, Carl couldn’t help but think of the bitter idea that his soulmate could be dead.

After all, it was the end of the world. What were the chances that they had ended up alive? Even then how likely it was that they ran into each other. Carl might not ever meet his soulmate.

Carl did not want to think about that possibility. Looking back, he wonders if that was why his mother was so adamant about Sophia.

Carl ran forward as the protective embrace of his father engulfed him. He could not keep the smile on his face. Rick took in his son’s appearance, relief sinking into his bones.

Behind him he could hear his mother’s surprised tone as she rushed forward to her husband. She cried tears of joy as the entire Grimes family sat there clinging to one another.

He could not tell what was real or fake with her anymore. Perhaps none of his parents’ love had ever been real in the first place.

That night by the fire Rick told the group of his tale. How he woke up in the hospital all alone and afraid. He had gone to Grimes' house after getting out of the hospital only to find his family and their things gone.

In the end the kindness of a stranger had been what saved him in the end. How he came to learn about this world instead of dying to it.

The boy was grateful to the man named Morgan. Someone who, despite losing his soulmate, seemed to find a way to show kindness in the darkest of times.

Carl was surrounded by people who cared about him and who he cared about in return. As it turns out, he didn’t need a soulmate in order to experience love.

His mom had been wrong about that. If only she could have realized that before she got with Shane.

They lost a lot of people when walkers attacked their group. Carol’s husband had died, and so had Amy. Jim was bitten and they ended up having to leave him behind.

In a ditch effort, the group decided to travel to at a research center in an attempt to find a cure. There they had one lovely night of peace before everything went to hell.

After they found the doctor drinking, he revealed that there really was no cure. He told them that soon the lab would explode and kill them all in the process.

He heard his mom talk to her friends about soulmates who went insane when their other half died. It was something Carl thought he would never see in person.

But there the doctor was, slowly losing his mind as he drank his sorrows away.

Lori begged for the doctor to let them keep trying. She wrapped her gentle arms around her son as she pleaded for him to let her boy live and grow.

Carl wanted to try, he wanted to live. To feel the air on his face and the wrinkles that would come from old age should he live that long.

He wanted to find someone to grow old with, he wanted to grow old with the people currently around him.

Let him try. Let him attempt to make that dream possible…

The doctor ended up letting them out. They had made it just in time before the lab blew up.

Sophia had gone missing. As Shane referred to them, a horde of walkers came by out of nowhere and the group had to hide under cars in a hurry. 

During that time his friend had panicked and attracted one of the monsters. She ended up having to dart off into the woods with a walker on her trail, screaming for help.

The next day, they still had not found Sophia. When Shane and Rick decided to go looking for her, they agreed to let Carl come too. He begged them too, after all Sophia was his closest friend.

He was glad that he decided to go.

Along the way they found a deer bathed in sunlight. The doe had looked so at peace just eating grass out in the open, unaware of any dangers that could harm her.

The two men nodded in encouragement when he turned to them for approval. Afterwards, he approached the deer with a smile on his face.

The doe had turned to him with what could only be described as trust and innocence. Those were emotions he had not seen in a while.

He wondered if his soulmate would have that same look in their eyes. Would they too have the same hope that were in the doe’s innocent eyes?

He would like to thank her. After all it was because of her that the bullet didn’t do as much damage as it could have.

When his hand brushed just over her fur, his vision went dark. He heard screams as he and the doe fell to the ground.

He would get help and live, but knowing the new nature of this world, her corpse would be left for the walkers to devour.

Once Carl woke up, he realized that the group was now on a farm. It had belonged to Hershel Green who lived there with his two daughters and some others. The family were fortunate enough to not have seen many brutal moments at the end of the world.

He woke up only to discover that Rick had lied to him about Sophia. Turns out she was gone after all. Carl had lost one of the few friends he made in this crazy world.

Daryl wanted to look for her, and he did everyday with no luck. Meanwhile Carol has begun to lose more hope by the day. Sometimes when Carl would walk by he would see her praying.

It was no use. If God did not answer millions of people’s prayers about the apocalypse, why would he answer a single person who was just one of the many mourners.

He could wait, however. Surely Sophia would be found soon and then they could be together as a full group again.

They could be happy. They would be happy.

Carl doesn’t want to think about how he would react if they weren’t. Had he not lost enough as it is? Surely there would be no more…

Sophia had been dead for a while. 

Somewhere deep inside, Carl had already known it was true. He knew after the first few weeks. But knowing something is true and actively choosing to believe it were two different things.

She had been in the barn the entire time. Just out of Carl’s reach, roaming with the undead. Yet he did not know she was there. None of them did.

Carl missed Sophia. No matter how much he lashed out, he did. But he did not have the opportunity to grieve, his father said as much.

Not everyone was going to make it, that hope was quickly dashed for him.

Tension grew high in the group as Shane became more furious with Rick’s leadership skills. Not only that but his mother had been acting strange for a while now.

Carl wondered if his soulmate, should they still be alive, was fairing better than his group was.

He hoped that they still have the luxury of believing in hope. That it was not cruelly ripped away like it was for him.

Another safe place was lost. They had to keep moving. No matter how many people died on the way.

Carl had put Shane down. The latter had reanimated despite not being bitten. Turns out his father was keeping important things from the rest of the group.

Rick says he can’t be the only one making decisions anymore and has created a vote system in the group.

None of it seemed to matter. Everything felt numb. That was until they found the prison, and Rick’s tune on life changed again.

Turns out his mother was pregnant with what was likely Shane’s child. Since Carl had killed Shane, there was a certain paleness about her now.

It was as if her lifeforce was being slowly drained away. Like it was eating her alive from the inside out.

What Carl wouldn’t know until later, was that he was the one to cause this reaction. He, and the gun he used to kill his mother’s soulmate.

One Cannot Live Without The Other.

More time had past, and still Carl refused to think about his soulmate. There was too much still left to be done. He simply did not have enough time to relax.

His mother was dead, and now he had a little sister. Judith Grimes. The child of an actual recognized soulmate bond, something Lori always wanted in her life.

They had managed to clear out the rest of the prison, but lost T-Dog and a few others on the way.

His father was losing it.

Carl thinks it wasn’t just Lori’s death but rather a buildup of things that led to this point. At least Carl had the rest of the group to help with the baby. Daryl had all but rushed off into the world for formula after the group realized there was none to be found anywhere in the prison.

He watched as Judith cried, trying to sooth her with no luck. Eventually he handing her off to Beth who was better at this sort of thing.

Carl watched from the staircase as Beth rocked his sister back and forth. The baby’s eyelids growing more heavy as the teenager continued to her.

Would he live to have children? Would he even live to see his soulmate?

And what about Judith? The world was unfit for children now. Would she even have a soulmate?

Carl doesn’t want to think of a world where there were no soulmates anymore. Through these dark times it seems like his only light has been knowing he had another half of his soul somewhere else.

But what if it was a good thing? Perhaps Judith had her entire soul. She would never have to go through the decline their mother had. Would never grow ill because of something she couldn’t control.

Carl fidgeted with Judith’s formula bottle as he stared off into space.

He supposed this wasn’t something he could ignore after all. Turns out he had a lot to think about, and he yearned for the answer to it all.

When he opened his eyes, he was in a forest. Growls echoed throughout the trees and he heard twigs snap and feet drag.

He ran and ran. But no matter how far he got it was as if the monsters would inch away, attempting to reach their frozen hands into his flesh. To tear into him and make Carl their next feast.

In the distance, someone called out his name as they ran through the forest, asking him to chase them.

He tried to reach out, but soon they were cut down by some sort of sword. He watched as their body fell to the ground in a pile of blood.

‘Let this end. Let me wake up’ He thought.

He ran and ran. He ran and ran.

But none of that mattered when the illusion was the same as the reality.

So what if he woke up? He would still be met with the same fate.

They had taken up shelter in a barn when Aaron found them. A sweet man who looks as if he had never seen the horrors that the rest of them have had to live through.

When he offered them safety, none of them seemed to believe him. Why would they?

But some of the group began to have hope. What the man promised was an offer they would never get again. It was eventually decided that they had to at least try.

The plan was to have a small team scout ahead to see if he spoke the truth. Meanwhile others would stay behind to guard him.

Turns out there was a community after all, the Alexandria Safe Zone. Before long all of them were driving off into the distance. That was before walkers got to them with their greedy claws, but that was dealt with rather quickly.

When they all reunited, it was revealed that Aaron did not come alone. With him was his husband and soulmate, Eric. 

Carl watched them interact with what felt like hope for the first time in months. Every smile they made, every secret they whispered. A resolve ignited in Carl to one day have that same feeling with someone else.

Both of them lead the group to Alexandria. The place they would be calling home for a good while.

This is the kind of place Lori would have wanted for them. That is what he told Deanna and what he knew to be true.

There was running water, schools, and people. People who had the privilege of living in peace without fearing for their life at every moment.

Carl didn’t think he would ever be able to have that feeling again. He’s seen too much to be at peace with himself anymore.

But still, he could try. 

According to Rick, there had been a neighborhood boy dying to meet him.

Apparently this kid was the older son of Jessie, who had recently given his dad a much needed haircut. She had asked on her son’s behalf if Carl would consider coming over.

So he did.

Something about Carl felt lighter as he walked up the porch and knocked on the door. It was a feeling he couldn’t place, which happened often enough now for him to not pay much mind to it at first.

That changed when out from the house came a bubbly teenager who gave an easygoing smile to Carl before inviting him in.

Carl, for the first time in a while, was extremely happy to be spending time with someone new.

As Ron lead them up the staircase he talked about things Carl only half-listened to. It wasn’t what Ron was saying that interested Carl, but how he was saying it.

Carl felt as if he were reading a book when it came to Ron. One look at him and Carl knew Ron was tired, stressed even. Despite all of that, he still felt of a pulse of the excitment Ron claimed to have.

Carl never thought he'd be able to talk about something as mudane as school life again, but here he was. He shot a random question back at Ron as they walked into a bedroom.

Immediately, Carl felt a spark move throughout the air.

When they walked into the bedroom, Carl was greeted by someone whose eyes matched his. He was introduced to Enid and Mikey, Ron’s friends.

Enid’s eyes looked as if they’d seen things that would never be forgotten.

It was a familiar look. One he had seen on everyone in his inner circle as well as on himself.

Ron’s eyes were the same way as theirs. The only difference was that the horror was a muffled presence in his eyes. As if the eyes’ owner didn’t want to reveal what exactly he’d been through to obtain that look.

Carl felt his head begin to spin as he tried to wrap his head around everything. Somewhere in the distance someone called out to him.

‘Pull it together, sport.’

Her eyes would infect his mind for the rest of the day. Like a parasite that wouldn’t go away no matter how much he tried to get his thoughts off of it.

Suddenly she seemed less against having him around and while they hung out she even let him sit on the bed with her.

They would cast glances at each other every now and then. Enid looked at him as if she knew something he didn’t.

Someone in this room was his soulmate. He wouldn’t have felt this strange spark otherwise. The only question was who was it?

He warmed up to Ron’s group quicker than he expected. Ron seemed to know how to handle survivors after spending so much time with Enid. Mikey was exellcent at reading the room and acting accordingly.

At the welcoming party for Carl’s group, he got to know them even more. By then, Carl had crossed Mikey off the list of potential soulmates. They had found a quiet spot at Ron’s insistence and began to play cards. 

Obviously Carl had won against Mikey, but the latter, ever the sour loser, refused to admit defeat. They fought playful for a bit, smiles on their faces despite the ‘argument.’

“No, it was a tie man!” Mikey protested.

Carl then turned to Ron, who seemed to have his head lost in the clouds as he watched the two mindlessly. 

Carl grinned with pride. “You saw it, right?”

Ron put a hand to his hip and tilted his head to the side as he smirked. It was as if he was pausing just to create suspence while he thought up an answer.

Ron responded with a chuckle, “Yeah, yeah, it's a pretty good view.”

The thing he remembers most about that night was the way Ron laughed as Carl snatched the cards away from the loser Mikey. 

Ron’s laugh was like the summer sun. Like the warm sand from that beach he used to visit as a kid. It reminded him of l the joy he stored away in an attempt to survive.

He liked Ron’s laugh. It made it feel as if there were butterflies dancing in his stomach to some tune he couldn’t hear.

In all honest, for how much Lori talked about soulmates, Carl thought he would be an expert by now.

But he wasn’t. The truth was he wasn’t really sure how exactly someone found out who there soulmate was.

The closest he got was ‘sparks.’ That was it. A single word was the only thing he had to go off of.

Upon his little incidents with Enid and Ron, Carl decided to do some research on how exactly soul bonds worked.

His efforts?— in vain.

Carl begun his quest by asking Glenn how he knew Maggie and his souls were bonded. What he got in return was a vague response.

'You just know. It is a feeling that can’t be explained but at the same time you know deep down it can only be one thing.'

The same vagueness seemed to be a common pattern. No matter how much he went around asking, he never seemed to get a straight answer on how to know.

Daryl told him that he felt a tug on his heartstrings after the hug that revealed he and Carol were soulmates. But before that, he said Carol had always been a close friend of his. Someone he would trust with his life.

Abraham said he felt a spark between him and Sasha once they began to talk. As if the sound of the other’s voice itself was the solo solution to finding joy.

He tried to ask Noah about Beth. He refused to talk about it. Just that she was the one to find out. Carl felt a bit bad for bringing up such a sensitive topic.

At first, Carl couldn’t tell if Enid or Ron was his soulmate. Did it depend on who he love more? But Carl knew for sure which one he loved more and he had originally thought the other one to be his soulmate.

Would he mind Enid as a soulmate? 

Would he want Ron to be his other half?

“I know you're following me. Again. And you're going the wrong way.” Her voice suddenly rang out, causing his gaze to dart from tree to tree.

“You knew?” Carl responded, trying to look around and see where she was.

“You're very loud.” A twig snapped somewhere nearby. “Can you go back? To be honest, you scare me.”

“You shouldn't sneak out by yourself. Two people just died.” He tried to reason with her, but he could feel the annoyance in the air where she walked.

“Oh, come on.” She appeared from out behind a tree. His eyes snap to her as they widen slightly. “People always die. You know that.” 

he scanned her figure, her greenish eyes showed indifference and she stood relaxed by the tree.

“We should go back.” 

“Why?” She asked bluntly.

“What do you do out here anyways?” Carl questioned her. He looked around as if to figure out what exactly interested her about the woods.

“Same thing as you.” Enid said, clutching her back before taking off running.

‘No you’re not,’ He told himself. He was here to find out the truth. She was here because she wanted to run from it. Nonetheless, Carl felt a smile start to appear.

They run for a while and as they do Carl can feel himself becoming more free. Enid looks behind her every once and a while and smiles when she sees Carl still behind her.

His cheeks grew rosy as he thought back to the countless times he has done this before. Of every time he was able to survive out in this world. For the first time, it actually felt like some sort of accomplishment rather than misfortune.

Eventually they both stop in their tracks upon seeing a walker behind some branches in the distance. Enid sneaks behind a tree and talks out a timer from her backpack. 

Carl watches as she winds it up and throws it a short distance. The timer goes off and suddenly the walker spots them. She smiles again and continues to run with Carl following after her once more.

He was alive, so many people have died along the way yet he felt so grateful to be alive. He could feel his own smile peak out from his lips. 

By the time they are done running, both are out of breath. Enid takes off her bag and sits down by a fallen tree. Carl joins her.

After a bit she began to speak, “We’re supposed to be out here.”

Carl thinks back to all the nightmares he’s had. Once he would rather forget and bury deep in his mind.

She continues, “We’re supposed to feel like this. I don’t want to forget.” She smiles, “and running makes me feel better.”

He thought back to that dream in the forest, with someone asking him to chase after them only for the person to be cut down seconds later.

Carl looks down at his lap. Should he tell her? Would it be worth it? She might not even be his soulmate. But then again, someone doesn’t have to be your soulmate to share the same pain as you.

“I can't forget. I dream about it. Being in the forest with them.”

“I do, too.” She sorrowfully replied.

Carl thinks back to Ron. A naive yet witty boy who has never had to run for his life from monsters. Enid and Ron were dating. Did that mean they were soulmates then? Perhaps Carl had missed the ball completely.

He wanted to know what Ron thought of all this. Was he someone who would accept his soulmate’s ugly parts, or would he try to convince them to become something else. Something that could be uglier.

“Ron's a good guy.” He brought it up, hoping Enid would take the hint.

She smiled sadly, “He is.”

“Does he know you come out here?”

Enid hesitated before speaking up, “No, I-- he wouldn't understand.”

He felt his throat tighten at that. This life was something important to him. He’s never felt safer than knowing he can successfully take down walkers and protect those he loves.

Would that be something he was willing to give up for Ron? For anyone? Carl wishes he knew.

Beside him, Enid took a knife out of her bag. She began to whittle away at the tree bark on the fallen tree.

He tried to change the topic, his voice much lighter than before, “Why do I scare you?”

“I don't know. You just do,” Her tone had become lighter as well.

Maybe that meant now was a good time to ask—

“Listen… In all honesty I came out here to—” He began only to be interrupted.

“If you’re here to ask if I’m your soulmate, the answer is no. I don’t know my soulmate nor do I want to.” She said it so bluntly that Carl had to pause for a moment.

“How did you know I was going to say that?” He questioned.

“You reek of desperation—”

“Ouch.”

“—It was obvious from when we first met that you thought I was a possiblity. I’m not. Sorry to disappoint." She looked him in the eye with an unreadable look.

“It’s okay.” He smiled, “We can always talk about something else.”

She returned the smile, “I’d like that.

They continued to talk, about knives, and about their lives. Eventually growls fill the air and they both bolt up. A horde was approaching.

“We need to go.” He says with panic in his voice. “Sounds like a lot.”

Before he realized what was going on he was pulled into an old wood tree, their chests pressed against one another.

The growls become louder as they recover their breath. They stare out of the trees as walkers push through the greenery.

“This is their world now.” She whispered into his ear, “We’re just living in it.”

Carl looked her in the eyes and once again saw that familiar empty look. The ones he briefly thought belonged to what could have been his other half.

Enid continued, “Who would have time for love anyway? Not me.”

Carl looks away from her, his hand brushing hers as he does.

“Cool” He hears her whisper with what could only be a smile. “You’re afraid of me too.”

The deputy slid into the window of the Anderson House. Resting on the bed of the room he entered was Ron Anderson. The boy was reading a comic while laying upside down at the foot of the bed.

Ron looked up as he saw Carl enter, a smile appearing on the face that was previously blank. He sat up to give Carl his full attention, patting a place next to him on the bed.

“Carl!” He grinned, “Hey man, what’s up?”

Carl paused at this like a deer in headlights. In all honesty he didn’t really plan out what he was going to say.

Ron raised an eyebrow at Carl’s lack of response. The boy shook himself out of it and went to sit next to his friend.

“I just…wanted to see you.”

It was Ron’s turn to pause. His lips parted and his eyes widened slightly. Deep down Carl wondered if he should be paying this much attention to what Ron’s face looked like.

“Any…particular reason that you wanted to see me?”

Carl took a deep breath and braced himself for the conversation to come. He turned to fully face Ron, his legs crossing over each other as he moved further onto the bed.

“Ron, have you met your soulmate yet?”

Ron had to blink a few times for the question fully dawned on him. He stared into Carl’s eyes for a bit, causing the latter to look away embarrassed.

“Was that a bad question to ask?” Carl asked sheepishly

Ron tilted his head slightly while he thought up a response. “No, no. I just— I wasn’t expecting you to ask that.”

“Oh, okay...”

‘Nice going, Carl.’ He thought to himself, ‘Now one of your only friends thinks you're a weirdo.’ 

“Well, uh… I haven’t officially met my soulmate.” Ron paused as his eyes darted to Carl. “Have…have you?”

Ron tries to catch Carl’s gaze, a reassuring look on his face as he moves closer.

Carl feels relief flood through him as Ron ensures him that he isn’t bothered. He decided to move forward with his little plan and bring up the next question. “No. Would you want to meet them?”

“What is this? "Interview Ron about 'Love’ time?” Ron chuckles as he flops down to lay on the bed, his legs swinging over the edge.

“Sorry.” Carl responds softly as he joins Ron.

“It’s fine!” Ron laughed as he patted Carl’s shoulder. He felt himself tense up at the soft hand.

Ron frowned at the sudden tenseness and quickly pulled his hand away. “Um…To answer your question, I’m worried it isn’t the right time to meet the— With the apocalypse and everything.”

Carl stared as Ron began to play with the cuffs of his sleeves. 

The apocalypse would never end. There was no cure to this new cruel world of theirs. What point was there in waiting if you could end up dead any day?

“I see.” Carl said blankly.

“Yeah…” Ron looked away.

Or maybe there was another reason to now want to meet his soulmate. One Ron wasn’t telling him.

Carl had never heard Ron complain once about his father. Perhaps that was why he was so mad and shocked that it was Rick to tell him that Pete was abusive and not Ron himself.

This also made him feel like a failure. Soulmates usually felt a varie of pain in their bonds when their other halves were hurt.

If his hunch was true, and they turned out to be soulmates, then why had Carl not felt anything? What did it say about him as a partner if he couldn’t even detect the biggest lie of all.

For the past few years, the Anderson patriarch had been beating his wife and kids. Pete had scarred Ron beyond repair, and Carl felt nothing.

Ron made Carl want to run all the way across the neighborhood, if only to comfort him.

He should have known. He should have known.

Had he missed the signs? Were there brief glimpses of an empty look between Ron’s overjoyed ones?

Carl had not known, not because of his failures, but because of Ron’s successes.

Despite not knowing his soulmate, Ron must have found a way around their bond. That has to be it. If it wasn’t then that means Carl failed at something he had only just learned about.

That would mean he failed Ron before they even met, back when he was still just a naive kid chatting happily about his future soulmate with Lori.

Carl doesn’t know how he wasn’t able to tell Ron’s true nature. Looking back at it, it had been obvious.

The way the boy’s head would tilt almost as if practiced. The smile that seemed too wide to be genuine but at the same time perfectly captured what joy should be.

That soft voice. One he always seemed to use when he wanted to appear kind. Was he even kind in the first place?

Ron was a liar. Just like Carl’s mother had been. Only this time he lies because he is afraid. Lori lied out of annoyance.

It all came crashing down one day. When Rick and Pete had gotten into a fight.

Carl remembers running over to Ron’s house after the fight, they had talked for a bit. The whole time Ron’s face looked eerily composed.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Carl reasoned, “I could have helped, I would have!”

“Leave, Carl.” Ron whispered with a distant tone in his voice. He leaned up to drag a tarp over the window that had been shattered after their respective fathers crashed through it. His left arm pauses for a moment as he whines.

“I should have known…” Carl lamented, “Ron I—”

“Leave.” Not a request but an order. His lips were down-turned and his eyes narrowed.

Carl looked up at Ron and saw light. As if he could see every atom on the latter’s face. Ron saw Carl’s strange look and quickly raised an eyebrow before looking back up at him, he had a tired smile on his face. 

Carl tried to look closer. Only then did he see the tremble of Ron’s figure. He saw the twitch of an eye and a scratch of his nose. 

“Carl— I've never lied to you before. Have I?” Ron turned to face Carl fully, rubbing his own left arm as he did.

“Not with words, you haven’t.”

Ron merely smiled in lieu of an answer. He gave a dismissing motion before turning back to covering up the window. Ron fidgeted while waiting for the sound of Carl leaving.

Carl retreated with his head hung low. He made his way back home with his thoughts in discord and his breath quickening. 

What a good actor his soulmate was. Such an excellent liar.

He was able to lie so beautifully that for a moment Carl thought he was listening to a song. Ron crafted every word with the same precise his father would use for a scapel.

Except they were soulmates. Carl knew that now with the way Ron’s face seemed to become more detailed all of a sudden. It was exactly like his family had described it in the vague answers he got from them.

But that meant no matter how many lies Ron told, no matter how convincing they were, Carl would be able to tell now. It wasn’t just one of Carl’s unreadable feelings.

Carl didn’t call the boy out on it. He knew it would hurt both of them too much and, in his opinion, they had already been hurt enough for one day.

.

.

.

Pete died hours later. Carl felt the moment Ron found out. It was the first time he’d ever cried without feeling any sadness.

After that, Ron and Carl’s relationship changed quite literally overnight. It was as if a switch had been flipped after Pete’s death. Suddenly Ron refused to even look at him, much less talk whenever Carl came over.

He would knock on the door only for Sam and Jessie to answer it instead. A sympathetic look on their faces as they told Carl that Ron was busy. After the tenth time doing this, they quickly apologized and flat out said Ron didn’t want to see him.

That was when Carl knew for sure that Ron considered their friendship over.

Carl thought back to all those nights he would lay awake and picture what his and his soulmate’s relationship would be. Well he had his answer now. Turns out they would be enemies, so long as Ron refused to let go of the past.

What was once his sweet and charming friend was now someone who couldn’t go a few moments without glaring or lashing out at the people around him.

Enid was growing more distance with Carl too. At first she had tried to comfort him, but none of it worked.

“Carl, that’s just how Ron is.” She sighed in annoyance. “Just move on. It’s not like you have to be stuck with him forever.”

But Enid was not his soulmate. She didn’t even want one anyway. As much as Carl cared for her, she would never truly understand what it was like to have half your soul hate you.

It felt as if murky water was flowing through his veins. As if some creature was lurking in between his blood cells waiting for the right moment to attack him from inside.

Their quartet had been broken apart, and there was nothing Carl could do about it. Mikey had begun to make excuses. Small conversations in passing about why he couldn’t make it to their hangouts anymore.

Carl knew Mikey would stop talking to them eventually. He had seen this before in some of his classmates’ friend groups.

Enid and Mikey had been a good friend, Carl isn’t saying they weren’t. But there is only so much people can do for you before you have to do something about it yourself.

Carl has never been more afraid for Ron in his life then when the wolves came.

Enid and him had been guarding the place with Judith upstairs when Carl went to peek out the curtain.

From a crack in the window, he saw as Ron rested up against a tree, clearly out of breath. His heart dropped when a wolve with a machete started chasing him.

Carl was out the door before he could think, swinging open the door and waiting for Enid to follow behind.

He shot the wolf in the leg, Ron pausing mid-run to look behind him and see his attacker laying there defeated.

‘I can protect him.’ Carl thought. ‘I can protect all three of them.’ 

But what he didn’t see was the look of surprise in Ron’s eyes as he watched the wolf fall to the ground. His pale face twisted into something now akin to horror.

But he felt it, though. Oh, he felt it.

“Come inside. I can keep you safe.” He panted, clutching the gun closer to him.

Ron took one look at Enid and his face morphed into anger again, “No.”

“Ron!” Carl called after him.

But he didn’t listen, and before long he was no longer in Carl’s view.

“Carl, come on!” Enid shouted from the porch, irritation seeping into her voice.

He told him that he could protect him. He had already been protecting Enid and Judith, one more would not have hurt. But Ron refused, now who knows where he is.

He could have died. Had Carl not been there at the window to spot him, or if he didn’t have his gun to shot that wolf.

Something about how close that had come did not sit well with him. His throat bobbled as he replayed that moment. He wanted to sit down.

Carl felt powerless for the first time in a while. He wanted so badly to reach out to Ron and tell him the true nature of their relationship.

But he couldn’t. No matter how much Lori wanted it to be true, love could not be forced by fate. True love is something that has to be given willingly.

Carl had to work to make Ron fall in love with him all on his own. That was the only way that either of them could know peace in their relationship.

It was the only way Carl would allow.

Enid went missing after the wolf attack.

Just like he asked, she didn’t say goodbye. The last thing that was left from Enid of Alexandria was a single paper with the words ‘JSS’ written on them.

‘Just Survive Somehow.’ 

He felt guilt swell up in his lungs. Enid and him had never gotten along as much as he would have liked, but somewhere along the way they found a strange peace with each other. He thought that she had felt the same.

Carl thought of how often he ignored Enid because of— because of him. He knew that no matter how much Enid wanted to pretend to hate their group, she cared. Which is why Carl wanted to make it up to her by bringing her back home.

He couldn’t stand to lose another close friend. Not after Sofia. Not After Ron.

These thoughts turned out to be not as shared as he originally thought. The first thing he attempted to do was talk to the boy who hated him.

He had found Ron with his back pressed up against a fence, a knife in his hand which he used to stab into the ground out of frustration.

“Hey. You Okay?” Carl asked as slowly approached Ron.

“Why wouldn’t I be?” He continues to stab the knife into the ground, his tone already defensive.

“Have you seen Enid?”

“Not since I saw her with you.” Ron said with an accusing tone in his voice.

‘What was that for?’

Carl tried again, keeping his tone friendly as he stepped closed “I think she went over the wall just before the herd came, and now she's trapped out there.”

“What makes you think she isn’t dead?” He all but spitted out while looking at the dirt.

“C’mon man.”

Ron scoffs and gets up while putting the knife away. He looks like he is about to walk away but Carl steps forward again.

“Look…I’ll go find her, I just need your help. If you maybe climb up—” he gestured to the wall.

Ron cut him off as he placed his hands on his hips, “I’m not helping you, Carl.”

“This isn’t for me. It’s for Enid. Your friend—”

“My girlfriend” He corrected, “Or I mean ‘cause she was anyway, right?”

So that was what this was about. Ron’s jealous of Enid and him spending time together. He thought Carl was trying to ‘take away’ his girlfriend.

“So you want to just leave her out there?” He felt rage seep into his veins. The Ron he knew would have never been so cruel, so why was he being such an asshole now.

“I told her to stop going over the wall.” He explained, gesturing to his side. “I told her there’s bad people out there, and that’s stupid and dangerous.”

“Not if you know what you’re doing” Carl countered, irritation leaking into his tone.

Ron paused for a moment, taking in Carl’s face. For a moment he thought he saw a protective look flash through Ron’s eyes.

Ron’s voice suddenly changed, “Well, I’m not going to let you go.”

Carl had enough and turned to walk away. He continued to do so as Ron began to walk behind him.

“Carl. Carl, you’re not going out there!” Ron grabbed his arm but Carl felt rage rush forward.

Before he knew it, Carl had shoved Ron away. “Back off!”

Ron shoved Carl back, and before long they were wrestling each other. Carl tried to push down his emotions, which seemed to have doubled in the span of minutes. What was this feeling?

Carl emerged victorious, shoving Ron back one final time where he fell to the ground. He began to walk away but Ron spoke up again.

“I’ll tell your dad,” He threatened, “He’ll go out there to find you, then other people will too.”

Ron knew just had to get under Carl’s nerves. “And then somebody’s going to die.”

Carl stopped for a moment as he felt the air pick up. He turned back around to see Ron look up upon seeing it had captured Carl’s attention.

Ron panted, clearly out of breath. “You saved my life and now I’m saving yours.”

Carl scoffed and shook his head before continuing to walk away. ‘A bit late to have a change of heart,’ he thinks.

The boy who has spent a good week or two hating him has now decided to save his life. Carl became annoyed at the boy. Why change his mind now?

That strange flutter was in Carl’s heart again, but there was also annoyance. Just who did Ron think he was?

What had happened to them?

Carl leaned over the table as Rick explained the basics of a gun to Ron. He watched with interest as Ron leaned forward to get a better look at the gun.

“That stuff's easy, right Dad?” Carl put some bite into his tone, looking over to Ron with a smug look. What he got in return was a small glare.

‘Good, be mad.’ Carl thought to himself. ‘See if I care.’

“Yeah. Empty Magazine…” Carl’s thoughts trailed off as Rick continued. Ron and Carl’s eyes met again and Ron was the first one to break away

“Empty chamber, see it?”

“Yeah.” Ron said casually, clearly ignoring Carl’s look.

“Someone’s in front of you, they have a gun,” Rick said, painting the picture.

“You’re going to be scared,” Carl added, “You will be.” He watched Ron’s face, hoping to see more of the rage he had witnessed earlier.

He could tell Ron was fighting the urge to roll his eyes. He could feel it.

Rick continued to talk about fear. Meanwhile Ron and Carl were having a stare down.

“You’ve got to be strong enough to wait for your moment.” Carl said. Just like how he is trying to do with Ron. All it would take is one or two more pushes.

He got another death look in response. This seems to be a new habit Ron has.

“Can I uh…” Ron asked, gesturing towards the gun.

He watched as his dad fixed Ron’s stance, instructing him on how to properly aim.

Carl felt a bitterness rise in him. At this point it was hard to tell whether it was Ron’s feelings or his. Either way, not like it mattered. Both of them were plenty angry now.

But why would Ron suddenly want to learn how to use a gun? Had Jessie talked to him?— no, she had been too busy with her own problems.

What was it then? Whatever it is, it’s really pissing him off.

They went for a while until Rick decided to end the lesson, advising Ron to carry the gun around to get a feel for it. Ron asked if he could practice actually shooting only to get an annoyed look from Rick in response.

He quickly backtracked in a way Carl had not seen before. Ron began looking down and fidgeting with his hands. Carl wondered if this was the side of the teen that he did not see, the side that only came out when Pete had been around.

“I just want to learn more.” Ron looked up, trying to hide the disappointment on his face.

“You will.” He tried to comfort Ron, surprised by his own words. Had he not just been frustrated with Ron?

Still, he hated how much he was able to feel Ron’s disappointment through the bond.

They shared a look, and had an outsider taken a closer look, they would have thought the boys’ friendship had begun to heal. That an understanding was near being reached.

But Carl Grimes knew his soulmate better than anyone. Otherwise Ron wouldn’t be his soulmate in the first place.

Ron can try all he wants to play innocent, but Carl can feel the familiar sensation of bloodlust that flooded in through the bond.

Carl should have known this was what Ron was planning. Instead he only knew when he heard the sound of the garage door lock.

“You’re dad is just going to get more people killed.” Ron paused as a tear rolled down his cheek, “Because that’s what he does. That’s who he is. Your dad’s a killer.”

“So is yours. We need to work this out.” Carl tried to reason with Ron, with himself. No matter how much he hated his—

“I’m dead, Carl. My mother is dead. My brother is,” Ron mourned.

“No they’re not. We’re going to make it.”

“You’re dead.” Ron said as he locked the door, “You’re dead too.”

‘But we don’t have to be.’ Carl wanted to say, but didn’t. Because in the next moment he began charging at Ron, pushing him against the door. He couldn’t let them die here. Not when so many people out there still needed them.

“You’re all dead.” Ron said as he was pushed against a wall.

‘I refuse to let us be.’ Carl echoed to himself as he was thrown to the floor along with Ron. Next to them, a shovel fell down and Ron quickly picked it up.

‘There has to be something more than this.’

Ron swung the shovel at Carl only for him to dodge it. Instead, it broke through the garage window. Outside, walkers poured in through the back gate as they heard the noise.

Pounding was heard on the door as both their parents frantically tried to get through to them. Rick and Jessie’s voices panicked as they tried to unlock the door.

Ron shoved Carl towards the window, the shovel pressed against his neck. Behind them, an axe was hacking away at the doorknob.

Carl looked into Ron’s eyes with a helpless look. He could already hear the walkers behind him and knew it wouldn’t be long before they tore him apart.

Ron returned the look, but his throat tightened. He seemed to be trying to take deep breaths in but was failing too. 

Carl used this to his advantage in order to shove Ron away just in time. As both of them got away from the windows, a series of cold hands immediately appeared and tried to get in.

Ron’s face looked pale again, and now he was able to breathe properly. 

As Ron watched in shock from the ground, Carl recovered his breath while pushing the rack towards the window. He turned to Ron only to find the boy looking at him in deep thought. Ron brought a hand up to his throat with a frown.

“Help!” Carl begged as he tried to stop the flood of monsters. “Please Ron, come on!”

Ron didn’t move, though he at least stopped looking at Carl. For a moment, Carl thought he had seen a torn look on his face. As if he was accepting some sort of fate.

How was Ron the more distressed of the pair when Carl had been the one getting choked?

In the end, the walkers got in and Carl and Ron had to flee out the door which had now been broken into.

They exchanged another look with each other as the rest of the group pushed a couch against the door. Carl saw that look again. Why did Ron look so sad? Why did he feel so…so broken?

Would Ron have still attacked Carl if he had known the other was his soulmate? Would he be happy or horrified? Carl remembers the look on Ron’s face when the wolves came and when the walkers got into the garage. Suddenly, Carl doesn’t want to know the answer anymore.

All that matters is that he has Ron’s gun, and now Ron doesn’t seem as mad as before. He even apologized to Carl.

Could they get through this? Did Carl have the right to hope for such a thing anymore?

Carl doesn’t want to hate his soulmate. 

As much as he wanted to ignore it at the time, he saw what that sort of hatred did to Lori and Shane. How even when they were close to one another they still grew paler.

What was once love became hatred, and that rage became the insanity that led to Shane’s death.

And then to his mother’s.

He saw how his mother grew weaker the longer Shane was gone. Looking back at it he wonders if she would have ended up dead either way.

The broken soulbond seemed to affect the air around them too. Everyone became more stressed, even Carl. It was also around that time that Rick and Lori started growing apart, though that was something that had been a long time coming anyway.

He felt that same tense air now. As his life flashed before his eyes and he watched Ron aim the gun at his father.

Rick was someone who had no soulmate left. What would happen to that stranger if he were to die here? Would his father’s bond be broken?

Turns out he didn’t have to continue to ponder. As if lightning had been struck, the air around them felt lighter. He felt sparks in the air that weren’t his.

He looked over to where Michonne and Rick were making eye contact. He recognized the same look he had seen thousands of times before.

Oh. Oh.

Those were soulmate sparks. That meant his father and Michonne were soulmates.

He saw two pair of eyes soften. He felt a twinge of jealously as he saw a look of devotion that he wished Ron and him had.

At that moment, Ron and his eyes’ met. Carl brought a hand up to signal Ron to stop, he shook his head with desperation. He saw a sliver of hesitation in Ron’s face as the latter’s eyes returned to Rick’s.

What happened next was one of the most painful things Carl has experienced since the doe back at the Greene Farm.

In an instant, Michonne had stabbed Ron in the shoulder, being careful not to hit anything major. Fire shot up Carl’s collarbone as he let out a scream that mirrored Ron’s.

He dropped his gun in surprise. Why had he felt this pain if Ron had been the one to get stabbed? Was this some strange effect he never heard about?

Soulmate pain was supposed to be only emotional. If that was the case than why—

The sound of a gun being shot went off. Pain surged forward in his eye as he felt the slick sensation of blood run down it.

Both Michonne and Rick turned to him, the former currently supporting Ron on her back. A look of horror crossed their faces as he looked up from his sheriff hat.

“Dad?” He swayed back and forth before eventually falling to the ground as screams once more rang around him.

His vision went dark after that. 

They must have known Ron was his soulmate. He doesn’t know how his parents figured it out but somehow they did. Why else would they save the brooding teenager known as Ron Anderson?

They could have left him for dead. Heck— he would likely die anyway with a wound like that. But they couldn’t if they wanted Carl to remain alive.

In the chaos, he managed to open his eyes for only a moment.

His dad and Michonne were nowhere to be seen, but somewhere above them Denise was shouting orders.

He turned to the side only to realize he couldn’t see out of his left eye. Without fully processing what was going on around him, he turned to the right.

There laying on an infirmary bed similar to his was Ron Anderson. His face was relaxed in a way Carl had never seen before. All those angry lines and wrinkles had smooth out into a calming expression.

He watched as Ron’s eyes twitched, eventually the boy woke up and turned to see Carl staring at him.

Carl felt a tug upon their bond once Ron realized the same thing he had so long ago.

‘It doesn’t matter how much I despite you. Either we both live or neither of us do. One Cannot Live Without The Other.’

He felt something else in the bond too. Resignation. It reminded Carl of the time he tried to skip out on his 5th grade math test only to end up taking it anyway. He knew it would happen, but didn’t want to admit it.

Ron had known. The entire time Ron Anderson had known that Carl Grimes was his soulmate and yet still he acted this way.

Carl pushed as much anger as he could through the bond. Ron winced.

If they survived this, Carl was punching him right in his attractive face, consquences be damned.

 He unwillingly drifted back off to sleep.

As Carl stirred from his sleep, the first thing to greet him was the sound of crying. He refused to open his eye, but from above him and in the seams of his bond, he could tell it was Ron.

As if sensing its lover, Ron’s half of the bond tugged on its end slightly. It morphed into something akin to annoyance, and relief. 

Carl didn’t need to have his eye open to know Ron’s brow furrowed, or that his dimples were hidden by his deep frown. The fear was so apparent, that he also made the guess that Ron’s shoulders were tense with stress.

“Stop pretending you’re still asleep. You’re awake, I can literally feel it.” Ron’s voice was hoarse and a small sniff followed his words.

Carl opened his eye. What he was met with was a disheveled boy whose eyes looked dead and whose skin was pale from what was likely days away from the sun.

“Rise and shine, deputy.” Ron stated bluntly. “Welcome back to the land of the living.”

As they stared at each other, Carl heard the sound of a clock tick in the background. It reminded him of their heartbeat, forever in-sync and in the same everlasting pattern.

It was like with each second that passed, Ron was once again slipping away from him to a place Carl knew nothing about. Where people who were practically dead but somehow still breathing went. He would not let this chance go to waste.

It was now or never.

“How long have you known?” That was the first thing Carl spoke upon waking up. His voice was hoarse from disuse.

“Straight to the point, are we?”

“No time like the present. I’ve been waiting for a while.” Carl grabbed a comic book that had been placed on the nightstand. Judging from its appearance, it was likely one of Carl’s that someone had brought over for him.

He began to look at the illustrations inside, letting another story engulf him while he waited for Ron to sort out his own.

“I’m sorry.” Ron’s voice had been so quiet that for a moment Carl wasn't sure he even heard it.

Carl glanced over to where Ron was. Still hunched over in the chair, his face buried into his knees as he looked like he was about to start crying again.

“Don’t be.”

He heard a hitch of breath before a shadow loomed over him. Carl looked up from his comic to see a furious Ron before him. The furrow of his brows and fiery eyes were all Carl needed to see to know the comic made a perfect shield for his lover’s anger.

“You can’t just expect me not to be sorry.” Ron gritted out, “I shot you and before that I—”

“Yeah, well you are a terrible shot.” Carl scanned over the item in his hand, flipping the page with a small swish.

Before long, the comic was ripped out of his hand. For a moment Carl thought with indifference that the pages would tear but they did not.

Ron set the comic down on the nightstand with more care than Carl had seen in a while. The former took a seat at the end of the bed and waited for Carl’s eye to find his.

“When you first came to Alexandria, I wanted so badly to get to know you.” Ron stressed.

“I know.”

“Not just because I wanted to be your friend.”

That made Carl pause for a bit. He watched as Ron’s eyes began to dart everywhere and anywhere all at once. “Did you have a crush on me? Was that why?”

“N-No! Well…that was a bit of the reason” Ron fidgeted in his seat, “But I didn’t realize that part until much, much later.”

Carl studied Ron’s face, looking for some answer in the creases of his frown and nerves in his eyes. He found it.

“You already knew I was your soulmate.” Carl said, as if the truth had dawned on him for a second time. “Way before I did. I…I didn’t realize it had been so early on.”

“I knew it when I first saw you.” Ron leaned forward, refusing to meet Carl’s gaze but nervously wetting his lips. “I kept it a secret because of Pete. He’s not the biggest fan of gay soulmates. After that I didn’t say anything because— well, I hated you.”

Carl stood shellshocked as he took Ron’s appearance in for what felt like the millionth time. Here before him was a boy whom he thought had it all when they first met.

The person who he believed to have no survival skills whatsoever was somehow the first of the two to feel the strings of their soulmate bond, and yet somehow kept it to himself for so long in an attempt to protect Carl from his father’s wrath.

Carl felt his fists clenched as he remembered the promise he made to himself before he passed out. Looking into Ron’s eyes he couldn’t bring himself to do it. His heart was just too soft when it came to the Anderson boy.

Ron snapped upwards once he got no response from Carl. Taking his clenched fist as a rejection, he hurried to the door in an attempt to flee the scene.

Carl panicked as he realized Ron was planning to leave, and a hand shot out to stop the boy. He held onto the boy’s wrist like a lifeline. Their fingers brushed as both of them paused as if frozen in time.

Carl cleared his throat sheepishly as he yanked his hand away, slightly mourning the lost of warm skin on his.

“How did you know? That it was me, I mean.”

Ron recovered from the shock and looked at Carl with a softened look in his eyes.

“How much do you know about soulmates?”

“Not much…” Carl sheepishly replied. “No one tells me anything. Besides my mom that is, but she was always a bit biased on the subject.”

Ron chuckled and sat back down. Carl grinned and boldly scooted over so he was side by side with his soulmate.

“Well,” Ron began, “Usually someone finds out through one of the senses. That’s the most common way to find out. My mom figured out Pete was her soulmate after tasting his cooking. ‘Terrible and burnt’— but she said something about sparks.”

Ron looked to see if Carl was still there, only to find that the boy was looking right at him with a head resting on his shoulder. The blonde’s face turned red and he looked away. Carl’s eye dilated at the sight.

“My mom and her lover found out through smell.” Carl added, “Then my uncle found out his close friend was his soulmate after a hug.”

“When I first saw you, I had just come from an argument with Pete.” Ron paused to clear his throat before continuing, “One look at you and it was as if I could see every detail on your face. Even from a distance I could see every little crinkle and scar. My stress disappeared instantly— It was like love at first sight.”

Carl smiled and inched his hand as close to Ron’s as he could without linking them. “I found out through sight too.” 

Ron looked at him with conflict in his eyes. As if a storm was brewing underneath his irises. “We aren’t going to survive this unless we coraporate, are we? The bond will kill us otherwise…”

“Yeah, that’s what it looks like.”

“What if we can’t—”

“Do you love me?” Carl interrupted

“I— I’m not sure if I can love at this point.” Ron replied softly.

“That’s not the question I asked.” A hint of a smile peaked out from the corner of his lips. “Do you love or care about me?”

“I don’t know…”

“But do you want to try and learn to?” Carl countered.

There was a breeze coming through the window. It filled the room in the agonizing minutes it took Ron to respond. Carl watched as Ron picked at the bandage on his shoulder.

Soon a hand reached out to entwined itself with his, as if it was always meant to be there. The boys stared at each other with only love and hope in their eyes. The two things neither thought they would ever find again.

“Yes. I would like that very much…”

As if a weight had been lifted, the two embraced each other fully. They would never be fully whole, even with each other. Love was something that took hardship and practice.

But for Ron? Carl was willing to wait thousands of years until he could feel like himself again. And Carl didn’t need the bond to know that Ron thought the same thing behind those honest eyes.

One Cannot Live Without The Other. 

Ever since that walker gave Carl a brush of death, he had begun writing letters at Siddiq’s advice.

He doesn’t regret helping the man for a moment. It was because of him that Carl began to remember how beautiful mercy could be.

Carl has developed a habit of writing Ron a letter every day and giving them all to his lover at the end of the week.

He smiled to himself as he thought of the look on his beloved’s face when he first did it. The annoyed look was nothing compared to the fond tug on the bond that exposed Ron’s affection towards the gift.

Carl always adored how much Ron pretended to hate his sappy words. Just like he knew Ron loved how he spent the time writing down his feelings.

As he carefully guided pen to paper, he wondered to himself how Ron would react to this letter:

All the love you are willing to give is all the love I will take. It is not a measure of how much you love me but rather proof that you can still love me in return despite all your bleeding wounds.

You have been through so much, Ron, and so have I. So let us heal together in this broken world as we both learn what love means in the first place.

I will spend the rest of my life relearning it if it means you will be by my side.

I love you, Ron Anderson. I always will no matter what happens.

your soulmate,

— Carl Grimes

FIN