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When Herc appeared at Alex’s door three days later, he got it slammed in his face. He really should have anticipated that.
What he didn’t anticipate was Alex opening it up a minute later.
“What do you want?”
Herc actually didn’t expect to make it this far—what he was expecting was something more along the lines of yelling in his face, kicking him out of the apartment complex, or ultimately dragging him in the entire squad’s groupchat.
“I—uh—“
“Hurry up. I’ve got a quiche in the oven—don’t ask—and Beyonce’s on the radio, so this better be quick.
“I wanted to talk to you about—um—“
“Lafayette. Yeah. You better have something to say, alright.”
And just like that, the door was opened, revealing a very frustrating-looking Alex wearing a powder blue apron, gesturing for him to come in. Oddly, all the lights were off, and the TV was on.
“Alex, what—“
“I said, don’t ask. Now, what do you to say for yourself, Hercules Mulligan?”
Herc internally winced at the full name ultimatum. Lafayette probably got them all to say it. Well, he deserved it.
“I am so, so, so, sorry.” Upon seeing Alex raise his eyebrows, he decided to add on to his statement. “Listen, I know that I should be talking to Laf about this, but—“
“Lafayette.”
“What?”
“You’re not their friend anymore; you’re not allowed to call them Laf. As far as you know, their name is Lafayette. Got that?”
Herc stuttered out a small “got it” while processing this.
You’re not their friend anymore. Yeah, he really did mess up.
“I know that I should be talking to Lafayette about this, but I think that I should try to—um—sort things out, you know, beforehand. With them. And me. And…I just need to talk to you, okay?” Herc sighed and scratched the back of his head awkwardly. Hopefully his jabbering would somehow make sense to Alex, because it sure as hell didn’t make sense to him.
Alex furrowed his eyebrows and thoughtfully scanned Herc for any signs of deceit. He appeared to have found none, turned on the kitchen’s light, turned off the radio, and went on to sit down on his couch, gesturing for Herc to do the same. Herc let out a little sound of relief—he still had a chance with Alex.
Wow, that sure sounded platonic. Thankfully Alex probably couldn’t detect gay thoughts in his friends. Well, maybe, since there was John, but—Herc told his brain to shut up.
“Talk to me.” Alex folded his hands in his lap and stared intently at Herc. It was all Herc could do to not take him in his arms and run his hands through his long, silky hair.
He took a few deep breaths before telling his story. Concentration was key.
“A—A few weeks ago, when you and John were out getting coffee together or something, I thought that Lafayette had gone with you guys, too. I mean—I thought they were going with you. And I remembered that I, well, um, I had left my water bottle at Lafayette’s place the other day, so—“
“God, Herc.”
“Hey, let me continue, alright?”
“Fine.” Alex crossed his arms and put his feet up on the coffee table in front of his sofa. Herc couldn’t laugh at out ridiculous he looked—the situation was too serious.
“So, I thought to myself, oh, I’ll just get my water bottle while Lafayette’s out, they don’t need to make a big fuss about it. Yeah, well, that didn’t really work, because Laf was still in their room—well, I couldn’t find my water bottle, so I looked in there and… Lafayette was in there.”
Alex started taking a few deep breaths but kept staring at Herc, which was unnerving, because he looked like he was trying his hardest not to punch him square in the nose.
“They were sitting on their sofa watching some Netflix or something, but… they were wearing makeup. And a skirt. And a tight tank top. And high heels. And—“
“Yeah, yeah, I get it.”
“So, I didn’t know what to do, and Lafayette actually looked really good, so… I panicked. I might have silently screamed and slammed the door without them noticing—I think it was a really sad movie. I don’t know. They were just…” Herc looked out the window with a disheartened expression, and Alex found himself feeling a twinge of sympathy for Herc.
Ew. He called Laf “genderweird.” Don’t sympathize with him. Not cool, Alex.
“So, let me get this straight—“ Alex held up his hands in a stop signal before Herc could interrupt. “You like Laf, yes?” Herc kept silent and nodded. “And you kind-of-sorta-maybe knew that they were genderqueer before?” Herc nodded again. “You like Laf romantically?” Herc paused for a moment, but nodded.
Alex shook his head, like he was trying to solve a riddle and it wasn’t working. “Then why did you act so mean to them?”
Herc sighed, pinched the bridge of his nose, and decided to deal with it and face the facts.
“I… didn’t want them to know that I liked them, so I acted the opposite. And now, of course, they hate me.”
Alex’s mouth took the form of an “o” shape as he took it all in.
“Wow.”
“I know, right?” Herc sighed again and sunk a little in his seat. “I really do wish I could redo that day. Seriously.”
Alex managed to pat Herc on his shoulder.
“Maybe you could explain yourself to them. Maybe they’re not mad at you, or maybe they are, or maybe it’s because—“ Alex cut himself off with a short gasp that caught Herc’s attention quickly.
“What? What did you think of?”
Alex put both of his hands of Herc’s shoulder and turned to face him. “What if Laf like you, too?”
Herc’s eyes grew wide. “I mean—I guess—Alex—!”
Alex was already reaching for his phone before Herc could stop him.
“This is perfect.”
“This is a mess, is what it is,” Herc responded, eventually giving up and checking his own phone for whatever strange message Alex might have in mind.
greeneggsand: Laf. John. Herc. All meet at that hipster coffee shop that John (somehow) likes on the afternoon on saturday. We have a lot to talk about
tortle: I will not stand for my name being slandered like this
tortle: but yeah I’ll be there
dumopyourhair: I’m only going if Alex and John go.
prettypony: meet you guys there, then.
Alex looked up and grinned.
“I still don’t completely forgive you, but it’s the best I can do.”
Herc was thankful he had such understanding friends.