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“Maybe I've lost my mind.”
Megumi glanced over at the clock. 1:43 A.M. He was fast asleep. That was until he swore he heard a phone ring. However, upon groggily waking up, there were no missed calls. Just as he was about to sink back into the mattress, a text went through. Like it was fate.
Itadori: u up? i cant sleep 💔
He didn't answer. He never does. He let the phone buzz out like powerlines.
The next morning, no one noticed how exhausted Megumi was, despite the sluggish way he spoke and carried himself. No one but Yuji Itadori.
“Fushiguro! You good?”
Megumi's eyes flickered over to Yuji, who was dripping with sweat from training all morning.
“I'm fine. Couldn't sleep.”
Yuji smiled, “Me neither! I texted you, y'know. You gotta start answering your phone!” Yuji laughed before continuing, “Next time, I'll call you.”
—
That night, he dreamt of airplanes — the way they soared through the night sky without a trace. No one ever notices the small things.
The runway was made up of cracked television screens, each shard of glass presenting a different aspect of Yuji Itadori. The way his teeth were slightly crooked, how he'd fall backwards when he laughed, how his eyes creased with each smile he wore…This boy had Megumi borderline obsessed, and for good reason. No one valued him quite like Itadori. No one tried to read his eyes as if they were book pages quite like Itadori. No one.
“Come on, don't leave me, it can't be that easy…” Megumi murmured as Yuji boarded the airplane. He wondered if Yuji's name would sound different if muttered softly into the darkness. Before he got a chance, the other boy was already boarding the plane.
“If you believe me, get on the plane,” Yuji spoke gently.
Megumi obeyed without hesitation. However, upon entering the plane, he woke up.
—
Reality is simply decay in real time.
Weeks after Shibuya, Yuji attempts to smile the same way he used to, but his eyes wouldn't crease and his crooked teeth wouldn't show.
Yuji thought no one noticed, but Megumi did. He always did. He could see the exhaustion behind his gaze, the way he walked and talked and seemed as if he was barely holding on — Megumi couldn't help but love him even more. That's the worst part.
The vulnerability was both heartbreaking and endearing. Megumi loved how Itadori wore his heart on his sleeve; Megumi hated how Itadori was in so much pain. Such bittersweet feelings weren't uncommon for Fushiguro, but the intensity was excruciating.
Love, in Megumi's mind, was always a silence that yearned to be broken. But Yuji lived proudly, openly, and most of all, loudly. He could easily say things like “I'm so lucky to have met you” without a flush of the cheeks. If Fushiguro attempted to express such a feat, he'd surely make mistakes. He admired how easily Yuji could open up.
Sometimes, Megumi wondered if Yuji knew.
Sometimes, he thought maybe he did.
—
One day, they sat side by side in Yuji's dorm room. They were meant to be studying, but Yuji had other plans; those plans were to tell Megumi all about the new movie he watched.
“Do you ever think that we aren't real? Like in that movie!”
Megumi blinked, “What?”
“Well, I dunno, everything's online nowadays. Maybe we're in some crazy simulation. Oh, or maybe a video game! Do you think I'd be the main character?”
Yuji laughed, earning a slight smirk from Megumi.
“You'd be the side character no one likes.”
Yuji laughed a bit harder, throwing his head back. Megumi could see the predominance of his Adam's apple and the way his veins stretched up into his jawline. He thought to himself that if the sun ever stopped shining, being with Yuji would make up for all the missed sunrises.
—
“It's just for a few weeks, Fushiguro! Plus, the mission is in Sendai, so I have to go!”
Yuji tried to reassure Megumi that leaving for a few weeks without prior notice was justified. Megumi wasn't in the mood to fight, so he simply sighed.
“You'll have Kugisaki to keep you company, y'know…”
Yuji zipped up his backpack after filling it with clothes and hygiene utensils, slinging it on his shoulder.
“Be careful, Itadori.”
“I always am!” Yuji grinned.
They both knew that was a lie.
—
After he left, the dorms felt all wrong. It was far too quiet — echoes bounced off the walls in a slow and torturous motion.
Megumi was over being lonely. Kugisaki was nice, but not the way Yuji was. His thumb hovered over the call button. Yuji's number was dialed. All Megumi had to do was click.
He never did.
Not ‘til it was too late, anyway.
—
That night, Megumi dreamt of airplanes. There were no cracks on the runway, and yet the plane crashed before it could even take off.
—
“Come on, don't leave me, it can't be that easy…”
Megumi solemnly spoke to Yuji, knowing his words wouldn't be heard. After the accident in Sendai, Fushiguro immediately boarded a plane. He needed to see Yuji. He flew to his city, excited to see his face. Ready to hold and console him.
He was met with a pale Yuji. A cold, comatose Yuji.
The scent of antiseptic grounded him in the moment. It only served as a cold reminder that this moment was real.
—
A few days went by. Then weeks. Then months.
Megumi no longer dreamt of those airplanes. Rather, he envisioned Gojo teasing him once again and Yuji's crooked grin.
When he awoke, the sun had already climbed to the tip of the sky. He'd missed sunrise.
—
If Megumi had learned anything, it was that the world kept spinning even after tragedy. It continued through the seasons, despite what people felt.
Maybe he'd lost his mind.
No one was around to notice.