Work Text:
Ch. 1 The Call
It is a normal day for Strawberry, when all of a sudden, out-of-the-blue, Cream Puff (an old character they decided not to make after all) called up Strawberry on the phone. Now Strawberry had forgotten all about Cream Puff, even though she left a month ago. Anyways the *call* was very urgent. This phone call had changed strawberry’s life forever…
Now Strawberry, being very old fashioned, never used the phone. Whenever her friends, who were in the 21st century, talked on the phone or texted, Strawberry would get all discombobulated and walk away or read a book, write a letter or novel. So, of course whenever the phone rang Strawberry had to stop and think about what that ringing tone is, and then find it and answer. It was a wall phone so she could never remember which wall it was on. Anyways back to the life changing call…
When Strawberry had answered she had no idea who it was, even though Cream Puff left only five minutes ago. It started like this:
Strawberry: um… helloooo
Cream: yes
Strawberry: I said hello
Cream: yes, yes I know that. Now to get down to business, I…
(Dial tone)
Cream: Hello? Helloooo? Is anybody there?
It turns out because of the absence of the *phone* usage, Strawberry kinda didn’t know what to do. Anyways, since that didn’t work, Cream Puff decided to pay a little visit to Strawberry, at her home (which was a strawberry of course.)
When she arrived she was greeted by a fat, pink blob of Custard. She was also greeted by something in a toaster; she thought it was a Nyan Cat®. Turns out it was a Toaster Dog®… Anywhoo, Cream Puff had kept Strawberry up to date in the 21 st century, but just five minutes after her leave, time was harsh on Strawberry. Well when Strawberry came to the door, she had no idea who this, ‘Cream Puff’, was. In fact she was confused why this ‘techno chick’ was at her door.
Strawberry: What do you want?
Cream: STRAWBERRY! ITS ME! CREAM PUFF!
Strawberry: Cream Puff? No no, you’ve made a mistake. I don’t associate with them “Gadgety” people. I think you’re looking for them.
*points*
Just then all of her friends walked by, waving at Strawberry and coming closer to greet Cream Puff.
[Buckle Berry, Angle Cake, Ginger Crack, Orange Terracotta, and McDonald’s Apple Pie®]: Hey! I don’t think we’ve seen you around before!
Cream: That’s because you haven’t.
Strawberry: She tells me she has a been a life long friend of mine (pfff! Yeah right!)
*Allosudden! Strawberry’s friends, break out in a welcoming song!*
[Bucktoothed-bill, Devils-food, Molasses Crap, Skim milk, Pie (these are Strawberry’s friend stage names in order of appearance )]:
“With Arms Wide Open®, under the sunlight, welcome to this place, we’ll show you everything…” ®
Pie: Hey guys!! we should make this a REAL song!!
{Strawberry, being annoyed as a hot fudge sundae in the sun, invites everyone into her strawberry of a home}
Strawberry: Well since you are all here, why don’t you just come in…
Before Strawberry finished the sentence all her friends stampeded past her into her house. It was filled with OLD and I mean OLD stuff! Knob-box-black-and-white TVs, hand crank radio, water pump, a wall phone, EVERY season of The Cosby Show® and I Love Lucy®, and other stuff unnameable by modern people.
Her friends almost died from the lack of technology! (AND NOT TO MENTION THE SMELL!!!!)
So everyone comes in, tries to turn on the TV but there is no remote!!! So they try to find the spare remotes, then the buttons on the tv, but THEY DONT KNOW HOW TO OPERATE IT. Strawberry puts on Murder she wrote® which leaves her friends baffled at the lack of technology and modern-ness.
Buckle Berry, Angle Cake, Ginger Crack, Orange Terracotta, and McDonalds Apple Pie® go outside to have a word with eachother, NOT including Strawberry.
Buck: WOOWEEE! I am GLAD to be out of that house...
Angle: You guys! Strawberry is in a DIRE need of our help. I mean Murder she wrote®?? MY GRANDMA'S GRANDMA USED TO WATCH THAT!!!!!
Apple: Angle is right. She may be my sister, you could mistake her for my grandma. She needs help, OUR HELP.
What we first need to do is get her a new wardrobe. Those
clothes that were passed onto her from generation to generation just aren’t going to work in THIS GENERATION.
Orange: Guys do you realize how OLD we are?? I mean we aren't even 23!! We shou-
Apple: 23?? pffft yeah right! 23 my hat!
Orange: … what hat?
Apple: Forget the imaginary hat that I used as a substitute for an inappropriate word! You guys are 33 for crying out loud! You guys should have had this under control from the beginning!
Orange: Well... I mean Yeah but, where do we go now?
Ginger: To the next town with a real mall.