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It was just past two in the morning when Lucas stirred in bed. First, it was the chill that woke him up, forgetting he had left the window cracked open in the middle of November. Then, it was the lack of his girlfriend beside him. He expected to find Max’s warmth when he stretched out his hand on the other side of the bed, as he remembered falling asleep with his arm around her waist. But he was met with nothing. He furrowed his brows into his pillow and tried again to feel the bed for her, slowly and sleepily coming back to his senses to wake up.
“Max?” he murmured, opening his eyes, and rubbing the sleep out of them. The sheets had gone cold to match the same chill that was outside. How long had she been gone? He frowned and blinking heavily to look around the dark bedroom. It didn’t take more than a moment to notice that the hallway light was on under the door.
He sat up and took the covers off, toeing his feet into slippers. Max would have woken him up if something was wrong, he knew that. Lucas tries to bury his immediate concern, but it was impossible. Because he was right. She would have woken him up if she was starting to feel any pain. What if she hadn't seen it coming, though? What if she couldn’t have woken him up because it was worse than an ache? His girlfriend has a mean and long streak in their six years of being together of being stubborn.
Max would try to spare him the experience of watching her in pain if there was no warning or him in sight. She’s done it before.
He twists their bedroom door open softly, noticing the bathroom lights in the room at the end of the hall. Initially, the sight didn’t give him too much to worry about as he inched closer. But, deep down, he just knew something was wrong. If the bed was cold then it meant she was gone for a while. Lucas knew she didn’t disappear on him unless she was hiding something. It was how he always knew she would be coming to visit him in undergrad. She’d leave him on delivered, shut off her location, and leave his calls unanswered.
”You knew I was coming?” Max gasped into his chest, keeping an arm around his neck as he spun her around in a circle. When her feet landed on the ground, she faced the living room of his dorm room. Where his sofa was decorated in her favorite fleece blanket, her favorite hoodie and pajamas, and snacks on the table. “How did you know?”
”Are you serious, baby?” Lucas mumbled against her head, “You didn’t think I’d catch onto your pattern by now? You ignore me when you’re driving to see me.”
He feels the way her cheeks warm under his hands when they reach for her face, and laughs out loud when she sighs into defeat, “I thought I was being mysterious.”
”You can’t get anything past me.” He shrugged, “I know you too well.”
She frowns, “I wanted to surprise you—“
“I know and I love you for it.” He stops her, tugging her hand to the sofa as she giggled behind him. When he turns to face her, he gestures toward his bedroom. “Go change so I could put on the movie,” The sight of Max’s smile as she set her bag down to open it his chest constrict, “Finals wrecked me and I just wanna spend time with you.”
It was usually endearing, especially after he realized what she was doing, but this, this was different. There was nothing good to be surprised with right now, not in the middle of the night. They’d been living together for a whole year now so she would never have to ignore him to visit him.
Lucas inched closer to the bathroom, and he’s pretty sure his heart stops when he hears the sound of bottles clacking together and hissing on the other side of the door.
“Max?” He called out, knocking lightly on the door with light pressure, “Everything okay?”
Lucas knows his girl. He knows her more than he knows himself most days, and he loves her more than he’s ever loved anyone. If she’s looking for something in the cabinet then it means she’s in pain. That’s where they keep all their medication, and that realization is what makes his hand start to shake when it reaches for the knob.
“Lucas?” The noises immediately stop, telling him she knows he’s been caught. He only grows more worried when Max responds with an audible wince in her voice, “Wait. Don’t open yet.”
He listens and stays still for a few seconds.
“Are you okay?” He asked softly, unable to help himself in beginning to twist the door open, stopping once he realized it was already unlocked. Lucas doesn’t want to waste another minute away from her if she’s in pain. “Can you tell me what’s wrong?”
His head falls to rest on the door, taking a deep breath, squeezing his eyes shut and opening them quickly so he could awaken a little more.
Max sounded like she was crying when she broke and told him, “I need help,” The sound makes his own eyes burn, “I-I’m not okay.”
Lucas didn’t hesitate to open the door and rush inside, whole body tense and prepared for anything. He knew it had to be bad if she gave into him so easily.
There he saw her — leaning against the counter hopping on one leg as she shoved first aid kits and pill bottles into the sink. She had sorted through their medicine cabinet to make an accidental mess. He looked up to see how messy her hair had become as stress got the best of her. There were stubborn tears falling from her eyes as she gripped onto the sink, and it broke his heart into pieces. Oh, his girl was hurting. Max had looked over to him when he walked inside, head hung low as her shoulders shook.
That’s when it hit him. She had been stressed with her end of the semester grad school showcase lately and had been walking to and from campus for class and preparation. It’s been getting colder, and she had been declining his ask to drive her to campus in exchange for taking the bus with her classmates to help each other carry supplies and canvas. The pain in her left leg must’ve caught up to her without her realizing. The cold always messes with her during this time of the year.
Lucas rushed over to her with one word on his lips, “Baby…” forcing himself to swallow his worry as he pulled her to his chest so she could lean against him instead. She immediately accepted his embrace, resting her head in his neck as he took on her weight. He eyed the bottles and lotions sprawled all around the counter, “What can I do for you?"
“I’m sorry, I’m sorry.” Max cried against him.
“None of that, baby. Tell me what’s wrong.” He whispered softly against her head, running his hands all over her shoulders and back of her neck. She felt tense all over. “Talk to me.”
“I didn’t want to wake you,” She continued, digging her head into his chest. “I was trying to handle this by myself but—“ Max trailed off, not by choice, as she stumbled forward unable to stand with two feet on the ground. He holds her in place, allowing her to lift and hover her left leg just slightly in the air.
It’s been months since she had a flare up like this where she’s hopping around and letting herself cry over it, and he only allows himself a moment of blame because he knows her pain flares up in the winter. How could they both have been so oblivious?
“What’s hurting you? Is it your scar? Your muscle? Calf?”
As soon as the last word left his mouth, she nodded frantically.
"Feels it's gonna get bad." Max paused in a hiss, gripping onto his arm when another cramp cascades through her. “I feel burning from my scar to my calf, and it’s pulsing every few minutes. I can’t control it.”
“Okay, okay…” Lucas nodded as he spoke, “I got you, baby.” feeling his heart crack in his chest at the gasp she lets out. "We'll go through this together."
It broke his heart to see her like this. Her spasms are the worst out of all the lingering symptoms she has from healing a badly broken leg — they could last for under or over an hour where every bone and muscle that had to heal feels like they’re breaking all over again. Max had told him before that it felt like aching all over, like her body was feeling the pulsing heat of such pain just like the first time it happened.
He should’ve known better. He should’ve kept track of the time. Should’ve known to prepare for this when he walked into their apartment a few days ago to the site of Max using a heating pad on her knee. The beginning stages had begun and neither of them thought to prepare for this.
”I’m home!”
He called out to her from over his shoulder as he locked the door, expecting to hear her voice from their bedroom. Where she usually was on a Friday night getting home from work at the arts studio in town.
That’s not where she was tonight, though. She was on the sofa, just a few feet behind him.
“I’m right here.” Max told him softly once he turned around with wide eyes. “You don’t need to yell.”
Lucas eyed her down with a smile, feeling his whole body relax at the sight of her comfortable with a blanket and book in her lap. It takes another second to notice the cord under the blanket that stuck out to connect to the plug in the wall behind the sofa, because it wasn’t hard to spot, and it wipes the smile clean off his face. She had her heating pad on. He sets his keys down on the table, going straight toward her.
“Are you okay?” He knelt down, “How bad is it?”
“I’m fine,” Max assured him, reaching for his hand to hold. “Just felt my knee tightening up on the walk home.”
That’s where the pain always started. God, he should’ve been more aware.
"Did a spasm just pass before I walked in?" He asked her gently. "Those always hurt the most for you, I remember.”
If she was in the middle of one, she's unable to say more than a few words at a time. And she's been answering him well so far, so this meant they had a few minutes to get situated. Lucas sighed at the muffled noise against his stomach, knowing it was her way of saying yes while trying to calm down.
He leaned back to press a kiss to her forehead, calming the tension in her brow at how hard she had squinted her eyes shut, “Can you sit down for me?”
Max holds him tighter and he waits until she's ready. When she nodded with a hiccup, he held her up around the waist and they hopped to the bathtub edge.
“I got you. Just hold onto me.” He whispered once she sat down, bringing his arms up so she would wrap herself around his middle. “What were you looking for?”
Max breathed hard through her nose, and he did his best to soothe her by letting her bun down, so her curls could fall. The tension on her scalp from the loose hair-tie was overstimulating for her when she was like this and he didn't want her hair to get tangled. It was something she thanked him for silently, feeling her fingers rub against his back.
“Tylenol.” She whispered, “I knew we ran out but I had a travel bottle from when we went to go visit El and Mike last week and—“ Her voice broke, which told him she was beginning to cry again, “I can’t find it and it’s the only medicine that works to calm down my inflammation and I feel so stupid.”
Lucas cradles her head to his chest to stop her from rambling, letting his fingers start to massage her scalp knowing how it could make her headache better.
“First off, don't call my girlfriend stupid. She’s the smartest person I know,” His huff of a tease makes her smile against him, and in that moment, he felt like he could breathe since seeing her like this. He softens, "You're in pain, baby. Don't blame yourself for anything.”
It takes Lucas a second to think about where her Tylenol was, but he remembered where it was rather quickly. He had just seen it. She had last taken it after her knee pain a few days ago and left it in her nightstand drawer. Lucas sighed, “It’s in your nightstand in the bedroom. I remember you putting it there last time.”
Max deflated against him, letting go of the last of her tears. “Really?”
He knows how she must feel right now — and he feels horrible. Why didn’t she wake him up? If she did, he would’ve helped her sooner and told her where her extra bottle was. She must’ve been digging around in the cabinet for as long as her leg had been hurting and it breaks him inside to think about her scrambling trying to look for something while he was asleep.
He forced himself to stop thinking about the what if’s, deciding that there was nothing to do to fix the moment they’re in right now. Because either way she would be in pain. Max would be okay now that he was here with her, and he had to focus on helping her feel better through her flare up. The clock was ticking, and he wanted to get her comfortable before the next spasm hit.
Lucas leaned his head against her crown, speaking low, “Let’s go back to bed, okay?”
Max sniffled against his chest, “I’m sorry about the mess. I was trying to be quiet but then the pain started to get worse and….” She trailed off, unable to finish as emotions got to her.
He shook his head, using both hands to tilt her head up to look up at him. His thumbs work to wipe away her fallen tears, and the sight of her feared expression makes him lean down to kiss her forehead softly. “You don’t need to apologize. We’ll put everything back in the morning, baby.” Then, he reached for her hair and carefully ran his fingers through her curls to brush them back. “I wanna focus on you right now.”
She hated going to bed with her hair down, so he took the hair tie on his wrist and gathered her hair into a low ponytail. When he was done, Max reached up and squeezed his wrist weakly in gratitude. Lucas gave himself a second to listen to her breathing, knowing that when her flares got bad she didn’t want to talk unless she absolutely had to. She sounded strained, like she was trying to breathe normally but was forcing every move of her lungs.
He had no problem with her silence. She was letting him help her and that was always enough for him. She trusted him that much and he’ll never take it for granted. When she needed him to lead her through her pain plan, he’d never back away from it.
“Wanna hear the plan?” He asked her, leaning down to brush his lips against the top of her head. “First, I’m gonna carry you back to bed—“
”You don’t need to carry me,“ She cut him off, wincing against his shirt, and he couldn’t help the smallest of smiles from spreading across his mouth. “I can hop.”
Max was probably right because she was capable of anything she put her mind to. She could hop on one leg while he supported her, but she was already in enough pain. He didn’t want to suffer any more than she already has. Plus, Lucas was terribly and absolutely in love with her - he would build her a house with his bare hands if that's what she wanted. He would do anything for her, including being her own fairytale prince every once in a while.
“I can do it,” She tried to assure him as if she could read his mind. “Just help me up, please?”
“Max.” He sighed, a barely there noise that told her he wasn’t giving up. “Let me do this for you.”
“I could—“
”Baby, stop. Just listen to me for a second here,” Lucas interrupted her softly, and when she squeezed him tighter, he knew he won this meaningless argument. “I’m sure you’d be an adorable bunny in another life, but I wanna do this for you. I’m here. Let me carry you back to bed before this gets any worse.”
Max looked up at him, sniffled back the last of her tears, and nodded once. Her eyes were wet and wide, in almost shock he was in front of her, and he didn’t look away. He wanted her to see him.
“Okay.” She finally agreed, “Okay.”
He’s known her for almost his whole life, and he prides himself on the fact that she could be soft for him. She didn’t need to fight his affection, not at any time. Lucas tried to tell her this through a caress of his fingers against her cheek as he continued telling her the plan, “After you’re comfortable I’ll get your heating pad from the sofa and massage glove from the linen closet. How does that sound?”
“Good. Really good.” Max rasped, beginning to pull back from his middle. He’s there to guide her with hands on her cheeks, when, almost shyly, she cupped his hand with hers, deciding in the end to keep her eyes shut. “I think I have a few minutes to rest.”
Lucas doesn’t waste any more time. He begins pulling away from her to bend down on one knee, “Ready?”
Max breathes through the lingering ache in her leg, and he’s thankful for this small break so she could take a few breathes without hurting. She deflates and begins to sulk, “Are you sure this is okay?”
It wasn’t teasing. Or even a little flirty. She was afraid of the worst happening because of her last hour spent alone. Lucas took her hand that fell to her lap, and kissed the back of it.
“I’ve done it before.” He reminded her, the edge of his lips tilting up in a slight smirk. “What’s wrong? You love it when I do the whole knight saving the princess bit.”
Max tugs on her bottom lip, nerves still evident, “You messed up your back a few days ago. I know that’s still bothering you.” She goes quiet again, “Don’t lie.”
Lucas feels his heart ready to burst out of his chest. Of course, she’d remember when he told her that he got pushed during practice and fell on his tailbone when making a pass. It was a little bruised still, sure. But he only felt pain when he sat for too long.
A little pain wouldn’t stop him from helping Max as best he could to make her feel better. She was that important to him. It was simple really. He loved her more than anything. And no tailbone pain is gonna stop him from carrying her in his arms. He’s an athlete for two very important reasons. One is because he loves basketball and wants to become a pro. And the second, ever since the day he met her as an awkward middle schooler, has always been to carry his favorite girl whenever she wanted him to.
“I got you, baby. C’mere.” He knelt down again, wrapping one arm around her back then another under her thighs. At feeling her arms wrap around his neck, he tried to make her worry less with a joke. “If I drop us, I’ll go down first, okay?”
“Is that a promise?” Max smiled softly, curling into him. Paired with her sleepy and tired eyes looking up at him, he thought she was the most beautiful girl in the world. How lucky was he to call her his? “You’re such a gentleman.”
Lucas felt his insides turn to mush as he picked her up with ease in a bridal carry, adjusting them once he’s upright so she doesn’t need to tug hard around his neck to hold herself up.
“Only and always for you.”
He smiled when his confession makes her hide in his chest.
Max melts into him a few seconds later and that’s all he needs as a cue to keep moving. She has her head nuzzled in his shoulder, immediately finding a spot of exposed skin near his neck from his T-shirt going loose and nosing him gently. He feels her take a breath to settle herself as her grip around his neck loosens.
She knows in that moment what he said was true. He’ll always hold her up, catch her when she needs him, and be there whenever she wants him to be next to her. She must have believed him wholeheartedly. Lucas has her in his arms, and her trust in him makes his heart soar.
Before he’s able to make it far, she stops him with a confession of her own.
Max had spoken up, voice just a little rough when she said, “Thank you, honey.”
Lucas would’ve kissed her if he wasn’t holding her safe and warm. He couldn’t, not then, so he settled for making sure her head didn’t hit the door as he walked them back toward their bedroom.
“Squeeze me if your next spasm hits, okay?”
When her next spasm does hit a few minutes later, he had almost missed it.
Lucas stood from plugging her heating pad into the wall by her nightstand to find Max ducking her head down with her hands gripping her thighs tightly. Oh, no. He grabbed the massage glove he left on the comforter near her feet and rushed to his side of the bed.
“Focus on my voice, Max.” He called out to her, making sure she could hear his voice through the pain clouding her mind. “I’m here with you.”
Lucas was watching every twitch and clench of her fingers against her thighs, as if she was forcing herself not to grab at her calves to stop the pain as it spread. She wasn’t answering him, and her silence was worrying him. Did the spasm turn unbearable in just a few seconds?
“I’m gonna move you, okay?” Lucas informs her softly, hands hovering the grip she has on her thighs. He leans in directly against her ear, wanting to make sure she heard him, “I need to move your legs on my lap.”
Max took a breath, gasping through the pain. “Ok.” She told him firmly, “Go. Do it.”
She moved with him, gripping onto his arm tightly as he maneuvered her to sit sideways so he could carefully as ever before lift and move both legs into his lap. Lucas had just set her sideways when he heard her groan in pain, “You’re doing great, baby. I’m right here.”
His words of encouragement make her nod repeatedly as she lets her head knock against their headboard. Max winces, “God…”
He watches as her eyebrows pinch together while takes a deep breath to settle herself.
“Do you want a pillow?” He asks, watching as she tried to get comfortable against the wood of their headboard. She shakes her head in no, and he moves on to roll her flannel pant up over her knee. “Remember the sign for when you don’t want me to talk or ask questions if it gets too bad?”
Max nods and curls into herself, “I have to touch your ear.” She swallows hard, smoothing away hair from her face. “It’s bad but I think we caught it early. It’s not terrible, not like the one I had in September.” Her voice was soft, almost in a whisper, as if she was trying to convince them both everything would be okay.
If she believed it, he’d believe it with her. If the pain was unbearable, she wouldn’t be talking to him. Lucas remembered the day she had gotten her last spasm too well. The pain had started in the morning and woke them both up — Max had spent more than an hour curled into herself crying into a pillow. She had been so worn out after that neither of them went to school for two days because he wouldn’t want to leave her alone.
“Good, I'm glad we did." Lucas assured, hoping it was something calm she could cling to as the pain escalated again. "Want the lamp on or off?”
“On.” She told him, outstretching one hand to reach for his bicep to hold onto. Max squeezed him, “I’m gonna keep my eyes closed anyways.”
Max wasn’t clutching onto him in pain, only wanting to be close and touching him. She gets clingy and touchy when she’s in pain, and although he hates when she’s suffering because of her childhood accident, he loves being able to feel her close to him. Don’t get him wrong, he’s her safe space. He’s one of the few people she’s affectionate with on a daily basis, but it was special to him when she sought him out to feel comforted.
He trusts her the most with his heart and he’s put in the work to have her trust him with hers. Trust means comfort. Trust means safe. Trust means love. And nobody comes close to how much he loves this girl. Nobody comes close to how she loves him. That’s why in moments like these where she needs him the most, he’s right there with her. Because when he needs her, she’s always there. They’ll always break through the storm together.
Lucas reaches for the heating pad left abandoned on her side of the bed and places it on her knee gently, wanting to start from the bottom of her leg to the top.
”Can you go a little lower?” Max gasped suddenly, stopping him. “Can you start right under my scar?”
He listens and moves quickly, adjusting the heating pad toward the middle of her calve in the thickest part and wrapping the velco straps around her leg to keep it secure. Lucas brushed his fingers against the delicate skin of her scar before holding her leg more firmly.
“Good?”
She nods and sulks back against the headboard. Lucas could feel her shaking as he grabbed the massage gloves left on his nightstand and put them on. He starts massaging the knot in her muscle with his gloved hand. Going in small, yet deep, circles to work at the tension, he makes it about thirty seconds in before Max visibly tenses and winces again.
The intensity of her spasm comes and goes in waves, he’s always known this. But, what he’s never ready for? How hard it is to watch someone he loves in pain over something they can’t control. Lucas isn’t dumb, he knows he can’t make her chronic pain disappear. It’ll be apart of her life forever. He can’t control when or why it happens, but he can make it feel better because he knows how to. While it’s awful to watch, he knows how to help her through it and for that he’s grateful.
“Keep breathing through it,” He reminds her gently, “I'm right here.”
It took her a few tries to follow his breathing, but he feels a new wave of calm wash over him when he sees her inhale and exhale deeply with him. Lucas adjusted himself against his pillows and the headboard, continuing his massage on her leg.
When he's able to make a full minute of massaging without a reaction, he calls out to her softly spoken in a whisper.
"How’s the pain? From one to ten?”
"Almost a 7," She answered after a few seconds, ducking her head to breathe through a delicate circle he rubbed on her scar before unbuckling the velco straps of the heating pad and adjusting it further up her leg. She held her breath, then exhaled loudly, "The massage is helping.”
"You were right then,” He said in a hum, “We did catch it early enough.”
Her words always have a way at calming him, and he hopes his have the same effect on her. When he moves to re-adjust the heating pad to work on the tightest muscle giving her the most trouble, she gasps at the glove making contact.
"Okay….Okay.” He soothed her, not willing to move unless she was ready for what came next. “I’ll give you a minute, baby.”
Max nods, “Just a minute.”
It’s quiet for a few breaths before he decides to speak.
“This is the part I always hate,” Lucas inhales shakily as he rests his hands for a second. “I hate seeing you in pain and to know I’m the one that has to hurt you more so you could feel better breaks me a little every time.”
On her next exhale, Max sounds the clearest she has in the last few minutes. He hoped it was another break between spasms. She tries her hardest to get closer to him, “I could never hate you. Do you hear me? Never.”
Lucas squeezes his eyes shut, “I know that.”
She goes quiet, and he thinks it’s because she’s unsure of what to say, but Lucas had been wrong. Max knew exactly what she was going to say and her answer tugged at his heartstrings further.
“You love me so much,” She told him, and he could tell another spasm had started up again when her calf began shaking the tiniest bit. But being honest with him was something he deserved right now when they were both vulnerable. Max exhaled, “Sometimes I think it’s something I don’t deserve.”
He doesn’t even breathe as the words leave his mouth, that’s how fast he had responded.
“You deserve to be loved, Max. You deserve to be loved by me, baby.” Lucas grabs her leg with gentle hands, starting his process of rubbing tougher than before circles against her muscle. He turns his head the slightest bit to talk directly to her as she winced, "I’m here for you always because I love you. I’ll hurt myself every single time you’re in pain to help you feel better. Okay? That’s how much I love you.”
When he was finished talking, the room had gone deep breath and pulling both hands away from his bicep as if she was getting ready to move. Then, what surprised him even more was her trying to shuffle and get closer to him.
"What are you doing?" He puts a soft but abrupt stop to her movement with a hand grabbing at her waist. “Don’t hurt yourself—“
Max's teary eyes flutter opens at the panic in his voice, and when they lock eyes, he sees the question in her gaze. She's so gentle when it comes to asking him for things, and he feels his heartbeat return to normal as she reaches for his arm again.
“Want me closer?”
She was already nodding as soon as "me" left his mouth. Lucas tried his best to pick her legs up and shuffle closer to Max without hurting her, and while it was a struggle, he did it. In less than a minute they were pressed thigh to thigh, and she was practically sitting in his lap. When he had gotten her back into their comfortable position, Max has both arms wrapped his one free arm and held tightly for support to lean against. Her head could now lean fully and comfortably against his shoulder, which is an opportunity she takes.
"I love you.” She repeated it to him with a wetness to her voice, "I love you."
Lucas was about to reply, but this wasn't the moment to. He could feel her fingers trail up his neck to his ear, and the words die on his tongue at the circle she does against his skin. No more talking.
He didn't mind. Not when he could say it back to her when she was feeling better.
He keeps going, not stopping even when her small gasps of pain make his entire soul ache inside his chest. She holds him tighter and he lets her.
Lucas loves Max — and that means standing in the storm together, even if it hurts him.
“Max?”
He kept his voice low, rubbing a hand over his heavy eyes. Lucas was tired, but his girl must’ve been exhausted if she fell asleep on his shoulder as soon as the first hints of relief washed over her. She had been dozing off for the last few minutes.
A while ago, Lucas had decided to reach for the television remote on his nightstand to turn the main screen on. He didn’t choose any channels, deciding just to keep an eye on the time. It was just past 2:40am when he felt the last of her spasms get massaged away under his fingers. She had gotten sleepy as he kept working, and he didn’t dare try to keep her awake. If she could go back to sleep, he wanted her to fall under.
Lucas pulled the gloves off slowly, letting them fall to the nightstand recklessly to be picked up later. He wiped his hands clean and dry on the blanket before reaching for Max’s neck with the hand that she wasn’t clinging to.
He caressed her jaw, “Max, baby, can you wake up for me?”
That did the trick and she had begun stirring beside him. Max had dug her head into his shoulder at the ticklish feeling of his touch, “What is it?”
Lucas couldn’t help but smile, “How do you feel?”
“Good, I mean—“ Max sleepily mumbled against him before pulling her head up to face him as her eyes went wide in realization. She looks at her legs in his lap, then back up at his face, “I feel good.”
“Yeah?” Lucas’s smile turned into a sleepy grin, rubbing his thumb against her cheek softly. “Are the spasms gone? Can you move your leg?” At her shrug, he felt just a little shy when adding, “I think I got all the knots but do you wanna move and see?”
Max’s eyes looked watery when she nodded in agreement. She made sure to hold onto him as she began stretching out her foot, making sure to test her ankle first. Sure, it was a little shaky, but it’s to be expected. Her body had just been put through stress it hadn’t seen coming. Next, Max had put her foot back on the bed and bent her leg at the knee in multiple slow motions.
“No pain.” Max whispered after a few seconds, “Just aches a little but I’m good.” When she takes a deep breath, it’s the clearest she’s sounded all night since he found her in the bathroom. She sighed in absolute relief, “The spasms stopped.”
Lucas’s smile felt permanent on his face. “I’m so glad you feel better.” He angled her head slightly to the side at the indents of the wooden headboard on her cheek, rubbing his thumb on her chin as she smiled, “We need sleep on pillows, not against the headboard. Wanna move?”
They took a moment to breathe together, and Lucas swore his heart skipped a beat when Max nuzzled into his hand that was still on her cheek. “I’d like that,” She whispered, “Let’s go back to sleep.”
“Do you need help?” Lucas hadn’t moved until she answered him, “Can you adjust back down?”
“I can move,” Her eyes were wide and awed by everything he was, and then she let go of him as his hands hovered over her just incase she said no. “Promise.”
Pulling the now cold heating pad from her knee, Lucas set it gently on the ground next to his slippers. Then, he stretched to reach the opposite side of his nightstand to unplug it from the wall.
He could hear her inch herself vertically as blankets and pillows shifted, and when he let the heating pad fall to the floor, he turned and found Max waiting for him. She was laying her head on his pillow, looking up at him from below.
“What?”
“I’m waiting for you,” She told him after a slow blink that told him just how hard she’s trying to stay awake, “I wanna cuddle.”
Lucas smiled, because he was helplessly in love with her, and began scooting and adjusting down the bed to lay down. He sighed once his back lay flat, and he didn’t waste time in turning sideways so he could be face to face with Max. His beautiful, strong, resilient girlfriend. God, he loved her so much.
She had curled an elbow under the pillow to stare at him and he reached to grab at her other hand to bring to his chest.
“You sure you’re okay, baby?” He rasped, slowly feeling the tiredness wash over him as the adrenaline of helping Max wore off. “There’s no more pain?”
Max nodded, “I’m okay now.” She inched closer until her breath hit his cheek, her eyes never leaving his. “How’s your back?”
She withdrew her hand from his to let it trail up his neck to his jaw, and her gentle touch matched with his sleepiness had made him shiver closer to her. When their lips grazed together, he doesn’t let the kiss last long. They met in a quick peck, “I’m fine,” Then another, “Don’t worry about that.”
“It hurts a little doesn’t it?” Max pulled back an inch, grazing his cheek. When she feels the warmth on Lucas’s skin, a sign that he didn’t want to tell the truth, she frowns. “I’m sorry.”
Lucas shook his head, “No need to apologize,” He gave her one more kiss that made her sigh into him before turning to lay fully on his back. “I’d do anything for you no matter how I feel.”
In a slow and swift motion, Lucas reached for Max before she could say anything else. The ache in his lower back was barely anything to pay attention to, that was the truth. He wrapped an arm under and around her waist so he could pull her into his side. Holding her tightly to him, he let his hand rest on her hip. Settling into his pillow, Lucas let his eyes flutter closed as he got them comfortable.
“You sure you’re okay?”
Max had asked, soft and barely above a whisper, setting her hand on his chest to perch herself above him. He sighed at the calm that overwhelmed him, feeling like the world was just the two of them. It was peaceful and everything. Her question made him frown, and his eyes fluttered open to find out why she still sounded concerned. She had just had an episode and here she was still worried about him.
“I can barely feel it, baby.” Lucas assured her, pulling her even closer to him to prove his point. He was telling the truth, and she was still a little hesitant. “How can I prove it to you?”
Silence — then one last question.
“Look at me?”
Lucas felt his heart stop for a second, and when his pulse picked up again, he exhaled and opened his eyes to find hers. She only asked him to do this when he got hurt, and he did it for her every time. When she got into the accident as a child, she had told him that she kept screaming at her father to wake up to tell her everything was okay and he never did. From that moment on, she used this simple question as a way to calm herself when he or any of their friends got hurt. (And he always answered her with the truth, even if it was bad.)
But this, the ache in his back was nothing. He used his other hand to cradle the back of her neck so she could focus on staying locked on him. Lucas smiled the smallest bit, even after watching her eyes start to water again.
“I’m okay.” He said, “I’m not in pain.”
That gets Max to nod, allowing herself to finally relax in his embrace. He could feel her leaning into him before he sees it, and he lets his eyes flutter shut to savor the moment of her lips against his. The kiss is slow, gentle, and lasts longer than the ones he gave her. He had only begun to tilt her head to the side to try and kiss her better when she pulled away for a breath.
They’re both safe and warm, and the most important thing of all? Max is feeling better and her leg doesn’t bother her anymore. Lucas has to give her one more kiss just to thank her body for being kind to her.
“You’re the best thing to ever happen to me and I’m so thankful for you. Every single day, I thank the universe for you.” Max tells him in a low voice, taking his hand from her neck so she could kiss his knuckles. “I love you so much, Lucas. I don’t know what I did to deserve you.”
She sounds like she’s about to cry, not in pain but like she’s in disbelief. Like she’s in awe of him. Meanwhile, Lucas’s heart is about to jump out of his chest and burst because the love he has for her feels too big to fit in his chest. He looks into the eyes of his girlfriend who has curly red hair, big green eyes, and the biggest heart he’s ever known — who didn’t deserve the pain she went through as a child — and feels his fingers begin to shake when she squeezes and interlocks their hands together.
“I love you,” He began, looking right into her eyes so she had no choice but to stare back at him. “I love you like breathing. That’s how easy it is for me. I wanna be here for the good, bad, ugly, and everything in between.”
When Max adjusts for the final time to rest on her side so she could curl into him, she keeps their hands interlocked. Lucas doesn’t allow himself to breathe until her head found her spot against his right shoulder, and he doesn’t hold onto her tighter until he feels her nuzzle his T-shirt to hide her nose from the cold of the bedroom.
“I wanna be there for all of that too.” Max told him, barely conscious as sleep began taking her under. “With you.”
Lucas went to sleep dreaming of their future and how perfect the girl in his arms was. He would be her prince, bodyguard, doctor, anything she wanted him to be just to see her smile and be safe. He would always be there for Max, that was the only truth he knew for absolute certainty.