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No…no no no this isn’t fair..
The dark browned hair walked into her room, devastation painted her face with those eyes that used to have life..now drained away with only a broken dignity
This isn’t fair.. those stupid thoughts flooding into her mind. I should have done something…i was there i could have at least done something i-
Those thoughts were cut off with a choked sob before falling onto her knees, so pathetic..Harvey would be so disappointed.. She placed her hands on her head to which she started gripping onto her hair with such tightness that she could rip them out, slowly sitting down, her knees now on her chest as she started crying, shaking violently, choking on her tears with shame.
Her hands that once her gripped her hair slowly went down and gripped onto her chest,
Badum…badum..badum
She slowly gripped harder onto her chest, feeling her heart ache in pain and grief, her lungs burning, making it difficult for her to breathe
“…damn it..”
Shit shit shit… she cant just start panicking, that shows her weakness..harvey wouldn’t like that
This is my fault ... I could have…saved you…
The guilt was so unbearable for the writer, to which she fell on the floor, shaking and sobbing as she held onto whatever was left of her hopes which seemed to have shattered a long while since their accident
————
Dear god, what time is it?…
She slowly got up, her head feeling so heavy
Oh right.. remembering on what happened, her whole personality that used to be so strong yet so kind grew dull
She can't keep acting so “immaturely”..
She slowly got up, struggling a bit to get up as she wiped her tear-stained face and walked to the bathroom, her legs wobbling before her hands slammed down onto the sink, gripping onto it with so much force it could probably crack.
Her face contorts into a dead, more colder look, more deader than Harvey’s..Harvey
This is my fault…it must be..it's all because of me…i must be the reason why they’re…
The guilt that was starting overwhelm the already aching alcina as she tried to hold back the tears that threatened to spill over, god…she looked so disgusting…Harvey is probably so disappointed with her right now-
“HNGH”
Alcinas hand snapped to grab her mouth before quickly vomiting into the sink, her legs giving up on her as she fell down to her knees
“God…I'm so pathetic…”
She mumbled, feeling sick, dizzy, exhausted. Slowly getting up, she looked a bit closer into the mirror to fix herself before
Harvey.
She screamed in terror as she grabbed a nearby glass and threw it at the mirror to which it shattered into pieces
She fell to her back, backing away in a quicker manner before hitting the wall
This has to be a sick joke…right?….RIGHT?..
She laughed. A forced, dry one. Before the laughter started growing more and more into a sound of grieving. Her knees covered her face as she sat there, sobbing alone in the bathroom.
This is all my fault. They could have been living a better life without me. They died because I was never able to help them. They died because of me.
————
How long has it been…? Weeks?… Alcina couldn’t tell, she’s been too busy stuck in her own room. She probably didn’t even hear the news of her other friend's death god…she was so selfish…
She rubbed her eyes a bit, she’s still grieving over the death of her childhood friend. Who wouldn’t? Harvey was there for her when she was in a bad time, they were always together. Friends, they laughed together. Harvey’s smile always- wait…what did they look like again..?
Alcina froze, nonononononono.. she can't remember what Harvey’s face looked like.. she can’t remember their eyes, lips, ears, nose, eyebrows, pupils, anything. Even their voices too..
Alcina started breathing heavily no not again, it's immature.. she tried to stay calm, she couldn’t just get another panic attack, no, absolutely not.
She took a few deep breaths before sighing and laid flat on the bed as she looked on the ceiling. Trying her hardest to remember what Harvey looked like.. their hair was…brown?…no it was blonde right?… no no that cant be right..
Alcina groaned, she was starting to forget Harvey. God it made her horrible. And it’s not like the pictures could help, Harvey hated being in photos..
The pale skinned rolled over, why couldn’t she just remember her own childhood friend..? It felt like they were getting deleted from every memory that she had with them..
Such selfishness…Harvey probably hates me now.
———-
Answer
She needed to know.. she had to know why this happened in the first place..
It's weird.. there can’t be any way for someone to have their brain explode like that…
She was too caught up with the grief of her own childhood friend’s death. She didn’t even think through how this could possibly have happened. It made her feel dumb
No..not now
She walked out of the house. The fresh air hitting her face, how long had she been inside her home?
She started to walking, not having had any proper sports since…that but it was a bit nice
She continued on walking and walking. She planned on getting answers from the one who did the surgery on her beloved childhood friend.
She continued on walking, she was getting close to hospital just a few more minutes and she’ll-
An iron smell of something hit her nose. Which made her stop her tracks. What is that smell?…
No she can’t get distracted…she needs to-
CRUNCH
The sound made alcina flinch.. okay she couldn’t just ignore that. What the fuck is that..
She took a deep breath… well, it wouldn’t hurt to check right?.. she can just take a small peak and then go to the hospital… yeah that's fine..
She slowly stepped closer. The crunches and ripping of.. something fleshy grew louder and louder before-
“A-ANNA..?!”