Chapter Text
"Well, contestants, after a shocking last week of twists and turns, we lost not only one, but two couples!" As expected, Ana-Maria had refused to have anything to do with Jack ever again. "This means you are all safe from elimination this week, but it doesn't mean you can relax. Every challenge is a chance to win money towards your wedding fund, and everything you do is watched by your thousands of fans who get to decide just which of you will make it to the end!"
As if they needed the reminder.
Jared and Jensen were still there - but Jensen had no freakin' clue where they stood right now. Jensen had already been asleep by the time Jared had returned to the house, and with the crack-of-dawn call time, there'd been no chance to talk.
"So let me introduce you to today's challenge- one that I like to call...Destination...Romance!" To thunderous applause, the wedding planners paraded on stage, each holding what looked like a bunch of (overly large) tickets. "We've set a budget and need you to plan your ideal honeymoon. The team that's both the most creative and romantic will win this challenge."
"Do we have any geographical limits?" asked Blair. "I always assumed I'd go to Paris for my honeymoon."
"Of course you did, darling," said Chuck, taking her hand and kissing it.
"Well, if you can get to Paris within your budget, then power to you!" Gretchen grinned mischievously. "However, I can't guarantee that you'll exactly be able to afford the honeymoon suite after that...."
"Budget doesn't matter, as long as I'm with the beautiful Lydia!" offered Stiles. She rolled her eyes.
After a brief time for questions, during which they were assured that their wedding planners had all of the fine print, Gretchen announced, "Teams, you have ten hours. Good luck!"
"Well, my Mishamigos," Misha began, wedging himself between Jared and Jensen and putting an arm around each of their necks, "let's get this party started!"
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“No, I do NOT think that dressing up as a dinosaur while parasailing behind a speedboat is the ultimate honeymoon activity,” Jensen vehemently declared as Misha presented him yet another crazy option. “What is your obsession with costumes?!”
“Costumes make the man!” Misha countered. Jared sniggered. Jensen shot him a look.
Misha did have a point that costumes would give them points for creativity but he didn’t want to spend his honeymoon performing more crazy stunts. Jensen’s ideal honeymoon involved a warm beach, a bedroom with white sheets, and a whole lot of sex. With the hot man who was sitting across from him. Feeling a stirring, Jensen blushed. He wasn’t going to have sex onscreen but even thinking about it felt too personal when there were cameras right there. He shifted forward, glad for the table that was blocking the view of his lower half.
“Well, if you’re not going to wear a costume, will you at least agree to parasailing?”
Sighing, Jensen said, “What about just regular sailing? That sounds a lot more romantic to me.” He flipped further into the brochure. “We could rent a boat and sail around the Caribbean, just the two of us.”
“And a pirate flag?”
“Woah, hold on a second, now you’re sounding like Captain Jack!”
Misha frowned. “You’re right, we can’t turn you into pirates. That’s far too obvious. What if we made your boat into the carnival of the damned?”
Even Jared looked shocked at that one.
“Crewed by monkeys? Ghost monkeys? We could go to Costa Rica!”
“Uh, Misha?”
The man kept going on and on with outrageous ideas.
“You do know you’re not coming with us, right?”
He paused. “But it’s my idea!”
“No!” On this, Jared and Jensen were united.
Within a couple of hours, they found themselves down at the docks a little north of LA. A few tour companies operated here and they rented out boats for wealthy clientele to sail down to Baja Mexico. It wasn’t quite the Caribbean but it was close. Some fast talking by Misha resulted in the three of them being taken for an afternoon sail by a cute young skipper.
“As you can see,” she said, once they were out beyond the breakers and skimming across the ocean, “she rides like a dream. Very little roll.”
“And we don’t need a crew, right?” Jared confirmed.
“I checked your boy’s boat licence,” Danneel said, “and you’re good to go!”
Misha was staring mournfully at Danneel. It was obvious what he wanted. “Hey Misha,” said Jensen, feeling charitable. After all, they were on a boat, it was a gorgeous afternoon, and only one camera person had been able to come with them (and he was looking a little green). “You wanna take over for a while?”
“You mean it? You’ll trust me to drive?”
Jared’s face was saying, “No!” but Jensen needed to have some quiet time with Jared. He trusted Misha to not tip them over. Mostly.
But just in case, he checked that his life jacket was securely fastened.
“Go for it. You’ll do great.” Jensen clapped him on the shoulder and winked at Danneel. “Now, Jared and I are going to check out the rest of this marvellous yacht.”
Below decks was classy, intimate, but way too claustrophobic for Jensen’s liking. They instead made their way to the bow and sat on the edge, feet dangling, as they sped across the water. For a while they sat in silence, watching as the wind whipped up peaks in the ocean. Misha’s steering skills were more than adequate to keep the boat on a smooth course.
They were only a few weeks from proposal week, and it was great that Jared was here on the honeymoon planning task, but that wasn’t enough to alleviate the worry that was simmering. Sure, Jared had played it up for the cameras. He was a great actor and even though Jensen had witnessed it time and time again, it caused more doubt than it should. From this morning’s performance it seemed that Jared’s dinner with Sandy had meant nothing.
But right now, with Jared’s silence and the weight hanging on the both of them, Jensen knew things weren’t right. And it wasn’t fair; it was just as Jensen was beginning to really fall for the guy, finally starting to let go and allow himself to indulge in those feelings. Starting to believe the fantasy. Starting to believe that Jared was exactly who he’d said he was: a guy who wanted to be on tv and that was all.
He stole a glance at Jared, but Jared resolutely fixed his gaze on the horizon. His face was usually so expressive but right now, Jensen had no inkling of how the other man was feeling.
Finally, after several minutes of silence, Jared began to speak. "So now you know." He still didn’t look at Jensen and kept his hands clenched together in his lap.
"Jared… what do I know?" He tried to be gentle, wanting to probe, not wanting to force the issue.
Jared didn’t speak for another few moments. "My real reason for signing up for this show." He looked so sad, so lost. “I had to do something after Sandy broke off our engagement. I … I just couldn’t deal. I had to keep busy. And I always wanted to move to Hollywood anyway, so I said to myself this was the perfect thing. I’d prove that I was okay and you know what, Jensen?” For the first time, there was a hint of defiance in his voice. “I wanted to meet someone and show them off and kiss them on national television and make Sandy regret everything.”
He sighed, looking down at his feet. “Well, I got what I wanted.”
That made his heart lurch. “You did?”
“Yeah.” Even though they were sitting side by side, Jared seemed so far away. “She came back to me. Said she still loves me and wants to start over. Said those words I dreamed about hearing.” A pause. “Six months ago that was all I wanted!”
Jensen’s heart was in his throat. He’d been down this road before - falling for someone who was still in love with their ex. It never ended well, no matter how much the other person protested that it was over, they were moving on, the heart never quite let go.
“So…what do you want now?” Jensen didn’t want to push. He was here to listen.
“God, I don’t know.” Jared dropped his face into his hands. “I loved her, you know? I thought she was my soulmate. One minute we were getting ready to spend the rest of our lives together and the next, she was gone. How do you ever forget something like that?”
“I don’t know if you can.” Jensen wouldn’t be able to.
The boat rocked gently; it was still peaceful out there despite the turmoil in both hearts.
“You’re right and that’s the problem. I can try to forgive her but part of me will always wonder, what if she does that again?”
“So you didn’t see it coming?”
Jared shook his head. “And that’s part of the problem, too. I thought we were pretty happy. Sure, we had our ups and downs, but I thought that was just normal life stuff. If I couldn’t even tell that something was wrong, well, what does that tell you about our relationship?”
“It tells me you’re a good guy who didn’t look for problems?” It was the only supportive thing Jensen could come up with, because Jared had a point. It wasn’t a good relationship if one person didn’t understand the other was unhappy.
“It tells me that I can’t even trust my own instincts.” He took a deep breath. “And then here I am, sitting on a boat with you, and all of my instincts are telling me that I can trust you, and I want to, but we’re on a fucking reality tv show where we have to date each other and so I don’t even know if that’s real either!”
“Hey, Jared.” He touched his shoulder. “Jared. Look at me. I know we’re in a bubble here. I know that everyone – me included – is playing the game. But I want you to know that you can trust me. I really like you, Jared. I would’ve asked you out in a second if we met back home, without all of this.” It was true, Jensen realised. “I’ve got your back.”
Jared gave a bitter laugh. “And that’s why this whole Sandy question is moot, anyway. If I quit, then you lose, and I can’t do that to you. I know you want this even more than I do.”
“I-“ He couldn’t argue with that.
“Don’t worry, I’m not going to ask you to tell me why. Hell, I wasn’t going to tell anyone about Sandy until the showrunners sprung her on me.”
Jensen’s heart constricted in his chest. Keeping the secret from the showrunners, that was one thing. Keeping the secret from Jared? Who had just opened up to him? It was wrong. But it wasn’t his secret to share. “I’m sorry,” he offered weakly. “I would if I could. I just….”
Shaking his head, Jared interrupted him again. “It’s okay. The less I know, the better.” That was true; it meant the producers couldn’t use Jared against him. “But what we need to figure out is what we’re going to do now.”
There was a new resolve in his voice. Jared squared his shoulders and took a deep breath. “We have a few weeks left. We can do this one of two ways – agree now that this is all fake and ridiculous, and keep acting the hell out of it. Then once we win, we can dissolve the marriage and say our goodbyes.”
“And you can go back to Sandy.” Was that what Jared wanted?
But Jared was shaking his head. “Sandy…that’s done. It’s over. I mean, I’m obviously not over her, but I need to be.” And suddenly, it seemed like he was blushing. “That’s your doing, Jensen. I actually do like you. A lot. And kissing you was really, really hot.”
Jensen had to remind himself to breathe as he asked, “So what’s option two?”
Nudging Jensen’s knee with his own, Jared scooted a little closer. “We keep dating. We both know there’s something there. And if we get to the end and it still feels right, we get married.”
Wait. “Did you just propose to me?!”
Jared laughed and it was wonderful. “Don’t tell Gretchen; I’m not supposed to do that until week ten!”
Shooting a look over his shoulder, Jensen found the location of the cameraman. Filming them, as usual. Great. But with the wind roaring past them, there’s no way he would have actually picked up their conversation.
“Well, I accept your proposal. And maybe the next one will be my turn.”
Jared’s smile was wide enough to light up the entire boat. And then he leaned in and kissed Jensen, and you know, with the right music added later, this moment was going to make some amazing television indeed.
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