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“Just ask him already.”
“Dude, don’t you think I’ve been trying? It’s been two months now, and every time I think I’ve finally figured out how I’m gonna ask…I just…can’t.”
Sam gives Dean a sympathetic look. “Are you really sure this is even what you want?”
“Of course it is, Sammy!” Dean couldn’t believe Sam could ask that. Of course he wanted to marry Cas. He’s wanted to marry Cas for awhile now. It wasn’t until a couple months ago that he finally went out one day and bought a ring with the intention of asking him.
And he’s tried, oh believe him he’s tried. He’s taken Cas out on a few dates since then. Nice dates. Like really nice, proper dates. And everything always goes fine, and just when Dean thinks he’s going to get down on one knee and pop the question…he finds himself frozen. He can’t explain it, he wants this so badly. They finally managed to talk about their feelings and sort that shit out, and things have been pretty great ever since. And sure they couldn’t really have an actual ceremony considering that as far as the world at large is concerned, Dean is dead. And well, Cas was never really born at all. Unless you count Jimmy Novak, which that just makes the whole thing even messier so best not to even think about that.
“I know it wouldn’t really change anything. I just…this is just something I really want.” Dean can feel the slight blush staining his cheeks. He’s not usually one to talk about things like this, but dammit he needs some help here. He doesn’t know what the problem is, it shouldn’t be this hard.
“I know, Dean I know. It’ll happen, just maybe try not to make such a huge deal of it. You know Cas will say yes, right?”
“What will I say yes to?”
They both freeze at the sound of Cas’ voice. They turn and see he’s standing in the doorway of the kitchen with a slight look of confusion on his face.
Before Sam can say anything Dean quickly says, “Sammy here was just telling me about a potential hunt. Nothing serious, just a run of the mill salt ‘n burn. Told him that I could take of it, but he doesn’t think I should go alone just in case. Wasn’t sure if you had any plans today so didn’t know how you’d-”
“Of course I’ll go with you, Dean. I don’t have anything planned for the day, but even if I did you know that I’d always choose you.” Cas says it like he says most things, like it’s the truest and most natural statement in the world. He should be used to Cas saying things like that, they’ve been together long enough now, but every now and then he’ll say something like that and it makes Dean feel…well, loved.
Sam is looking at him again. Giving him that same stupid heart eyes look that he always gives him whenever Cas says something like that. It’s awkward and embarrassing, and it really doesn’t help given the conversation they were just having. Dean gives Cas a small smile, “Alright, well go pack up some things and we’ll hit the road in 20.”
-----
As suspected it was just a typical salt and burn. Certainly one of the easier cases they’ve worked, but still digging graves sucks. And they’re not exactly getting any younger. So by the time they get back to the motel both Dean and Cas are exhausted. They have just enough energy to get their dirty clothes off and get into the bed before they pass out.
They wake up a few hours later, it’s nearing noon. They’re both still tired, but decide that it’d probably be better to just get up, get something to eat, and head back. They can sleep more once they get back to the bunker.
With that decided they both take quick showers and get dressed. They head to the nearest diner, it’s not the nicest place they’ve ever eaten but it’s certainly not the worst. They sit across from one another in a booth looking through the menu, and while they’re waiting for the waitress to come by and take their orders Dean glances up to look at Cas. He doesn’t know how he got so lucky. Even still slightly ruffled by sleep he still looks gorgeous. Cas didn’t bother shaving this morning so his five o’clock shadow is even more pronounced than usual. He’s got dark circles under his eyes, and his lips are permanently chapped. Even still Dean is sure he’s got a dopey smile on his face. Even after all the bullshit they’ve been through, they’re still here and together. He doesn’t know how or why, but he’s trying to do better about letting good things happen. Cas is certainly one of the best things to ever happen to him.
He’s not really looked at the menu, but out of the corner of his eye Dean can see the waitress coming to their table. The next thing he knows he hears himself saying, “Will you marry me?”
The waitress arrives to the table just as Dean has finished his question. She gasps in excitement, and eagerly awaits to hear the answer. They’re both looking at Cas now who’s just looked up at Dean completely blank faced. Cas just sits and stares at him for what feels like forever, but is probably only a minute.
“Alright, yes. Can we order now?”
While Dean’s ears heard a ‘yes’, his heart heard a ‘no’. Shakily Dean replies, “Uh…yea, yea sure…go ahead…,” and sinks down a bit into the booth. He’s not really listening as Cas orders. It takes him a moment to realize the waitress is waiting for him to order, too. He chances a glance up at her, and all he sees is pity. He doesn’t need that. He’s got plenty of that going on inside him right now. He orders a black coffee and nothing else. He doesn’t think he could keep anything down right now even if he wanted to.
The coffee goes untouched as is. They sit there in silence. Cas eating his food, Dean staring down at his coffee wishing something would come crashing through the doors so he could do something. Anything to not have to think about this. He doesn’t know what this means for them now. Is Cas going to want to leave the bunker? Will it be too awkward if he decides that he wants to stay, but not stay with Dean? He can’t believe this is happening. Maybe he hit his head on a gravestone during the hunt and he’s just having a nightmare. This may be one of the few times Dean wishes he was having a nightmare, rather than living one.
Cas eventually finishes eating and Dean pays for the food, and they get up to leave. Everyone is staring at them. Cas doesn’t seem to really notice, but Dean does. He can feel their pitying eyes all over him. He wants to turn around and scream at them to stop. He doesn’t need this. He’s going to be fine. He’s always fine.
They finally get outside and start heading towards the impala, after a few steps though Dean realizes Cas isn’t beside him anymore. He turns around and Cas is just standing there staring at the ground with confusion written all over his face. Dean has no idea what the hell he has to be confused about. He takes a step forward and is about to ask Cas if he’s alright, but before he can Cas’ head shoots up and he’s looking at Dean with a deer in headlights look.
“Did you…did you just…,” Cas swallows trying to compose himself. His voice sounds so small when he asks, “did you just…ask me to marry you?”
Dean is frozen in place. Now he’s the one with a deer in headlights look. What the actual fuck. He has no idea what’s going on now. He’s torn between getting pissed off, laughing, and crying. He clears his throat and nods his head, “Yea…yea I-”
“Ask me again.”
“I…what?”
“I said…ask me again.” As Cas says this he takes a few steps closer to Dean. His face is still fairly blank, but when Dean looks closer into his eyes he can see all kinds of emotions swirling around.
Hope, confusion, fear…and love. His eyes are practically glistening with all the love that’s in them. Dean can’t believe this is happening. But hell, if he’s gonna ask again he’s going to do it right. He takes a step closer so now they’re only a few inches apart. He can see a small smile starting to form on Cas’ face. Dean huffs a small laugh, pulls the ring that he’s been carrying around for two months now out of his pocket, get down on one knee and looks up at the man he’s so fucking in love with.
“Castiel, will you marry me?”
Cas breaks out into his huge gummy smile that Dean only sees on the rarest occasion. “Yes. Yes. I always told you, Dean Winchester…I’ll always choose you.”
Dean slides the ring onto Cas’ fingers and surges up and grabs him into a huge kiss. He can’t believe this. He doesn’t know what the hell is even happening right now, but he doesn’t even care. He’s got his fiancé in his arms, holy shit his fiancé, and they’re kissing like there’s no tomorrow. Which for them wouldn’t be that unusual. After a few minutes they finally break apart, foreheads touching and smiling so wide.
Just as Dean’s about to ask him, ‘dude what the hell?’, they hear clapping and cheering. They turn and see everyone inside the diner is looking at them. Some have opened the doors and are standing there watching and cheering. They turn back towards each other and share a smile and a small laugh and kiss again. When they pull apart from this kiss, the good people of the diner have apparently decided to give them their space. Having gone back to their meals and back inside. Every now and then a few might peak out, but otherwise it’s just the two of them again.
“So don’t take this the wrong way, but what the hell Cas?” Dean pulls away slightly, but not too far. He still has his arms around Cas’ waist, he doesn’t want to start a fight after they just got engaged but seriously this warrants an explanation.
Cas’ face colors a bit, “I’m so sorry, Dean. I don’t think I was entirely there when you asked in the diner. I was, and still am I suppose, exhausted and I was just so hungry. I just wanted to get some food, get back in the car, and head back home. All I could think about was crawling back into bed with you once we got back and sleeping for a few more hours. It wasn’t until we were walking out that it registered what you had asked. I can only imagine what I just now put you through, please Dean…forgive me.”
“Hey, shhh…I forgive you. Hell, I forgave you the second you asked me to ask you again, honestly. I just…was really confused is all. That’s not the kind of reaction you’d expect when you ask someone to marry you. I didn’t even really mean to ask it honestly, it just kinda slipped out.” At Cas’ concerned face Dean quickly says, “What I meant is, I’ve been wanting to ask you now for a few months but I just never could get the words out.”
Cas kisses him lightly on the lips, “I love you, Dean Winchester. And I’m glad you finally did.”
“Yea,” Dean kisses him slowly, savoring every second of it, “me too. Me too.”