Chapter Text
In all senses of the world, Lucille Baker was the emotional equivalent of a marble statue at times. It perplexed Emil Leeds to no end. He responds in one-word sentences, never seems to be in the present, and not only that, but Emil doesn’t believe he has ever seen so much as a quirk of a smile on the man’s face. He had never been more smitten in his life.
This was the way this universe was. Emil, the sad, revolving planet, enraptured by the Sun, and Lucille Baker, a black-hole in a sea of dying stars. Emil knows nothing of Lucille Baker in a way that matters. The man always dressed in tasteful outfits, his every move calculated, though between Emil and himself, Lucille’s alluring youthfulness was something to be studied. The way he carried himself and his inflection, as flat as it was, screamed something into Emil’s ears. Something precious and fragile, like a baby kitten stuck in a storm drain.. A few weeks later, there were finally answers to his burning questions.
Like clockwork, Lucille arrived for his shift at the animal shelter on Friday at exactly 3 PM. Emil could immediately tell that something was off. He would lightly tremble where he stood and appeared with newfound meekness that was not lost on him. It all came to a head when he just so happened to be in the scullery at the same time Lucille was bringing in stacks of litter trays.
Just his luck to be stuck in the tiny cubicle one could technically call a scullery with a beautiful, captivating man like Lucille Baker. God, so help him if he messed this up, too. He wiped his wet hands on the sides of his cleaning apron and called out.
“Hey…”
The other man made eye contact, knees pointing inwards. Like Emil was constantly reminded of, Lucille looked like a terrified kitten. He could only see this as insanely out of character. Was the world ending? Maybe his theories about the simulation were right, and that Lucille was replaced by a doppelganger.
‘No, shut up. Stop.’
There was no simulation and there was no doppelganger, Emil decided. He jolted when he realized he had been boring into Lucille’s eyes for over a minute.
“Sorry…”
“It’s okay.”
Lucille squeaked out. Squeaked? Lucille Baker didn’t squeak. Emil saw a blush dash his cheeks, which only served to make him feel more anxious. It was like Lucille couldn’t stop himself from expressing his emotions. The other man bit his lip and looked away in embarrassment.
“...Sorry”
It was Emil’s turn to say “it’s okay,” now, I guess. What was happening here?
“It’s… okay? Are you okay? I mean-” Emil stuttered. God. Awkward, creepy Leeds at his best.
Lucille scrunched his eyes closed and nodded his head stiffly, sniffling quietly. The questions only served to make him feel worse. The tears burst out of the corners of his eyes like cloudburst, and the sniffles grew in frequency.
Was Lucille really trusting him with something like this? Emil froze up. What was Lucille trusting him with here? This felt like something incredibly private. He was an intruder, encroaching on that which was not his to be trusted with. Emil began to feel sick. Lucille was going to hate him forever now if he didn’t handle this right. He felt the cold, sickening drip of nausea welling up inside his abdomen. The fact that he was focusing on himself in that moment only dredged up stomach acid further into his esophagus. He shook his head and forced himself into the present once more. He could choose to be stupid later on his own time.
He doted on the other man as if he were on autopilot. Taking the litter trays from him and guiding him into a sitting position. Everything about this day was weird, he decided. Lucille was so… Disheveled. Chaotic. So unlike his usual self. It startled Emil. He never coped well with these kinds of changes. But something about how sad and meek Lucille looked brought up urges inside Emil. Urges to take care of him and keep him from crying again. He looked so precious and small like this.
Lucille brought his hands up as fists and attached them to his bangs. He pulled down in a frustrated motion and whined under his breath. It looked like it hurt. Maybe it was comforting to him? Emil could do nothing but rub the other’s back in a sweet, circular motion. The moment ended as quickly as it came, and the two resigned themselves to working in complete silence so that they wouldn’t both get fired.
Eventually, Lucille and Emil were able to make it to the end of the shift. Emil took Lucille home to his apartment. The man fumbled his keys so hard that Emi took over and unlocked the door for him. He hoped he wasn’t overstepping, but Lucille clearly wasn’t in a state to be very… independent. He hadn’t spoken a word since he had apologized earlier.
“Em…” Lucille whined.
Emil was startled again, not used to this new side of Lucille. It seemed to become more and more apparent as they spent time in his apartment. Lucille whined again, attaching to his bangs and pulling. Emil panicked and looked around for something he could hold onto. He dug through some drawers of cables, DVDs and found a basket of toys carefully hidden within a wicker basket. He pulled out a soft, pink bunny stuffed animal from the basket. It looked well-loved, so Emi figured that it was a favorite. He brought it back to Lucille, kneeling down softly, and pushing it into his arms.
“Look who’s here!”
Lucille let up on the whining a bit and became utterly fascinated by the toy. Seems that Emil picked correctly today.
“Plummy…” the man – boy? – Emil wondered what Lucille would be considered right now. The boy babbled happily as if Emil wasn’t there.
Emil blushed in adoration. Lucille is so cute like this, he thought.
“Lucille?” He called out, hesitantly.
“Ems,” the boy giggled shyly, hiding his face behind his stuffie.
“Lucille… Are you hungry? Is there anything I can do? I don’t want to make you uncomfortable…” Emil trailed off. He felt the sensation of nervous energy wash over him.
“Cill.” He whined.
“Cill…?” He prodded.
“I’m Cill!”
“Okay, Cill… Are you hungry? Please, I just don’t want you to be sad.” He confessed, despite himself. This version of Lucille. Cill. He awakened something in Emil that allowed him to be more honest, less scared that he was going to ruin everything he had with him. For once, he didn’t feel as if Lucille was going to disappear right under his grasp. He wasn’t worrying that the other was a figment of his overactive imagination.
Cill held his Plummy and used his hand to nod the bunny’s head up and down.
“Plummy wants pizza, please…” the boy giggled. Emil noted his words took on a slurred inflection. He really sounded like a kid. It was endearing, really. Emil decided to throw everything to the wind and play along. Something was calling him to care for his poor, sweet boy. He totally wasn’t going to think about the fact that he already thought in possessives about the boy later.
“Okay, I guess I can order pizza for Plummy. I’m assuming Cill wants pizza too?” He closed his eyes in mock thought, one squinted to gauge Lucille’s reaction. The boy nodded with haste.
“Hungry…”
Emil stands up, Cill does not. He looks at the man expectantly. Emil, confused, reaches out with an extended hand. The boy grabs his hand and pulls himself up, taking his stuffie along with him. He follows the big like a little kitten, seemingly enraptured in this tiny bubble of peace he has locked himself into. Emil wonders what caused the stoic man to crumble like this. He wonders if something snapped within the other or if he had always been like this. The well-loved stuffed animal pointed to it being something more. Emil just wasn’t sure what “this” was exactly.
Some kind of mess Emil Leeds got himself into now. Stupid Leeds. What was he doing? Emil’s brain was powered off right now; the only thoughts that broke through the barrier were about how to keep the little one happy. Hand in hand, he guides the boy down, down. He wouldn’t know it yet, but Lucille felt himself sinking deeper into his quiet headspace as he tugged along behind the big. Right now, Emil was Lucille’s whole world, and Lucille was Emil’s whole world.
“Ems – Love –” Lucille mouthed out, his mental state preventing him from stringing his loving thoughts for Emil together. Emil decided right then and there that this was what he needed. He loved Lucille, his muse, his saviour, his precious little boy. If there was anything in the world he could do to keep him, this was it.