Work Text:
“Your Highness!!”
Despite being breathless after running up the stairs, that Eden's exclusive producer seems to still have the energy to shout out of his lungs the moment he notices the person who made him running through the stairs and road due to the heavy traffic is standing on the edge of the hospital’s rooftop, nonchalantly tip-toeing and enjoying the moment in such cryptic way.
"This is hospital Saegusa… keep your voice down. What's the point of hiding here if you make such a big pollution.” the older Tojo sibling sighed. The cousin who was standing before the door to the rooftop can only pull himself away from the pollution that is Ibara's voice. “Since you're here, I'm going back” with a small glance from that opened door—just to be sure that the guy he was told to watch over for a moment didn't jump yet—HiMERU made his way back downstairs where his little brother wait.
Ibara has arrived already, that means his job here is finished.
Ibara didn't even bother with any greeting or a gratitude to the older Tojo and immediately ran to the edge of that rooftop to get close to the guy he was calling to. Even with that extra loud voice of his, that guy didn't even seem to bother showing response to Ibara's call and remained standing in his place, staring down from the edge of that rooftop.
“Your Highness… ” Once again, Ibara called him. He didn't want to startle him just because of his sudden appearance and causing anything he feared the most. But still, the guy didn't respond to his call at all.
Ibara sighed on that zero response. He doesn't know what makes that guy suddenly being deaf on him but he isn't risking it any further. "Please do excuse me sir…” he said before he dropped the bags he brought on the floor and decided to just pull that guy down to his side, letting that guy fall to his catch.
“!? Eh??” That guy seemed surprised tilted his head when he felt that tap and finally turned back to face Ibara “what are you doing!?” He struggles to get away from Ibara's hug.
“I'm the one who should be asking that. You sent me cryptic message and made me run as fast as I can just to get by your side but you didn't even respond to my call—”
“ — who are you?”
“...?”
“Let me go!!”
“...” Ibara froze for a moment as he actually put him down gently in confusion.
He stared at that guy, trying to find hint anywhere to show that guy was just teasing him or playing pranks just like what he would. But what gazes back at him is just the empty look from that guy's eyes “Your Highness, Hiyori…" he called him slowly. Trying any way he can to shake Hiyori's conscious back to him.
"Please don't play around like this…” — no, Ibara refuses to believe it. Please. Just laugh on my face or anything you'd like. Anything but this. There was a hint of panic in his tone and he hold both Hiyori's shoulder, begging to him to show that this is a mere joke.
My… it wouldn't be fun if you make such a sad face that fast right…?
With a soft smile on his face that quickly turned into his usual pouty one, Hiyori exclaimed “You're late! I might as well forget everything I asked, if you're late like that.”
“...”
Good. It's a joke. Yet Ibara can't even exhale in relief
"..."
Ibara closed his eyes as he bent down for a moment trying to control his breathing. A whole ass nightmare just flashed in his mind because of that joke.
“Fufufu Ibara ~ are you that surprised? I didn't expect you'd fell that easily” Hiyori laughed as he bent himself along to peek at that poor boy just to steal a glance over his angry face…or at least that was what Hiyori expected.
And yet, what welcome him when he take a peek there was not anger
‘What is that expression…?’ Hiyori was stunned.
“I'm busy with work and you know it” Ibara exhaled as he calmed himself and tried to stand upright again, finally locking back his gaze to Hiyori who immediately pretended he didn't just peek over Ibara's face.
Over the past few years, Hiyori has come up with many ways to prank him but clearly, Ibara doesn't expect he'd make his situation a joke like that.
Despite his annoyance, Ibara tried to understand the reason why Hiyori kept doing it. Isolating himself far from people that he loves while facing all this curse alone would surely kill himself from inside. But still. He'd rather Hiyori not make this into a joke like that. His heart was so close to stopping.
Years… yes, years. In the last few years Ibara has been forced to be Hiyori’s partner in crime to hide his condition from every single person.
Yes. Every single person outside the doctors and the nurse—and Ibara's staff as well as The older Tojo who happen to be taking care of his little brother in the same hospital and some others, people who somehow got dragged by Ibara to help him in handling Hiyori's need. The older Tojo only joined as repayment for Ibara who helped him to take care of Kaname all this time..
In the beginning, Ibara didn't agree with that idea. Especially that he has promised to Nagisa that he wouldn't lie to him. He really did his best to twist his words just to be sure that any question wasn't answered with a lie.
And it was hell.
He didn't remember what precisely the reason was for him wanting to go along with Hiyori's insane request but he supposed, in a way, keeping this a secret also helped letting Nagisa and Jun remain focused with their work. The increase of solo careers that Jun and Nagisa have also give more freedom for Ibara and Hiyori to keep this all hidden.
But years of this lie doesn't make things get any easier for Ibara. Even if he knows how much Hiyori tries to remain as his usual self, it surely feels difficult to ignore when that face barely keeps up with it.
Hiyori folded his arms in annoyance as he heard Ibara's answer, putting aside that expression which Ibara made earlier, trying to move on with their usual daily banter. “Mou, you always know how to talk back. Can't you just say *I'm sorry for being late Your Highness* and just serve my request?”
Perhaps, it's not Ibara's answer that made Hiyori annoyed.
It's the expression. Even if he wants to just forget it, that pained look is even hovering on Ibara's face right now. Whenever he stares at him.
Hiyori looked away.
Having to see the expression that he knows Ibara normally wouldn't ever made really annoyed Hiyori
Pity, he defined.
Maybe it feels ironic to be annoyed at it now, especially knowing that when they just met, Ibara would hide his past simply to avoid people staring at him with pity on their gaze. But even Hiyori knows that the expression Ibara shows to him was more than just pity.
And that just makes it even worse.
“Since you keep calling me every minute, I didn't even manage to check it to the nurse—”
“ — no need!” Hiyori took a seat on the bench and patted the other side of it. At least this way he doesn't need to be face to face with Ibara all the time. “Sit here, I'm starving. Which mean I haven't eat so it should be fine”
Despite another sigh escaping the younger one’s lips, he still followed the order and took a seat by Hiyori's side. “Alright ..”
“Speaking of which… look here” Hiyori took out his phone and showed ibara a photo “Negi-chan photo quality keeps dropping can't you just buy her new phone or camera? I need to update my SNS too you know and everyone knows how good Hiyori is at taking photos, I can't use these.”
Ibara dragged the bag and box he brought closer, stealing a glance just to check on the photos that Hiyori mentioned.
To be fair, it looked fine…
“... I'll tell Uncle to get her new one but she want to keep that phone you know because Hitsugi-shi used it before”
Hiyori fell silent for a moment before suggesting “... Just make her use two phones, easy…”
Ibara sighed “... I'll see what I can do” he opened the box he was holding and revealed the quiche he bought earlier, it's still piping hot since he really rushed here because of Hiyori's stupid cryptic messages of nothing but photo of the view from this rooftop and one single word
[ quiche ]
Ibara shook his head thinking about it. What does Hiyori think of him really… He is not a food delivery guy.
“Hurry hurry hurry” … well, His Highness looked excited. Maybe that's fine.
Ibara took a small plate from the other bag and moved it up to drag a table so that it would be easier for Hiyori to eat. He even took out a bottle from the same bag to pour the mixed fruit tea he made earlier.
“Whoa, as expected for Ibara, your service is always five stars …” Hiyori laughed with all the extra stuff Ibara prepared. Well he wasn't impressed when Ibara took out his laptop too but he didn't complain about it and started enjoying the quiche instead. “Hm… the quality hasn't dropped even a bit that's good”
“You had it last week too” waiting for the laptop to boot, Ibara poured the drink for himself too as he watched over Hiyori enjoying that quiche. “World won't change that fast just because you didn't visit your favourite cafe for a week”
“ — hm… where is my update on Nagisa-kun and Jun-kun?”
The sudden change of topic quite surprised Ibara but classic Hiyori, Ibara already quite used to it. Before he answered, Ibara took a sip from the tea cup as he started working. “Jun should finish his solo tour soon. His Excellency also should finish the movie promotion next week. There isn't much upcoming schedule though as both asking for break”
“...”
“Since someone's graduation should also happen soon, both of them pressured me to empty their schedule around the time that certain someone would graduate. As you know about their feeling towards that certain someone, they wish to surprise that certain someone and reunite again with him”
“...”
Silence fell between them, only the sounds of Ibara's typing would be heard. It's funny for Hiyori to think that even at times like this, Ibara can still try to act normal and do his work. But Hiyori knows that Ibara wasn't really focused with his work with the number of times he scroll back and re-type his words. For him who is too used to listening to Ibara's working ASMR, it's way too easy to notice.
Without any response to that update, Hiyori just nibbled on the quiche, staring at how Ibara finally adjusted his focus again when he noticed that Hiyori didn't say anything.
“...hmm…♪ ” instead of perceiving Ibara's update that he know very well is wrapped with his usual prickly words, Hiyori wonders what is Ibara thinking with all of this. Does Ibara think that Hiyori is being too cruel to demand Ibara to do all of this? Does it simply not bother him?
For sure, this isn't the only night they spend together like this. In the beginning Hiyori listened to a bunch of Ibara's rejection and how much this will trouble him. But even with all those rejection, Ibara is still willing to go through all this trouble for him instead of just abandoning him.
Is it mercy… is it pity…
Hiyori knows the logical answer would be Ibara needs both Nagisa and Jun to stay as sane as they could to keep up with the work and all the vacant spot that would be empty when Hiyori is not around
But… A sad smile formed on Hiyori's lips as he put that half eaten quiche on the table, swaying his legs a little, with the memories of Ibara's expression that he never saw before which keep appearing one after another when Ibara accompanied him like this, somehow Hiyori feels like that work isn't as important for Ibara.
Perhaps pity is not the only reason.
“Graduation right… What kind of story does Ibara prepare when that day happens?” he scooted closer to Ibara, feeling the windy night when the breeze suddenly hit them.
Ibara stopped his work, taking off his jacket but when he heard the giggle from Hiyori, he stopped. “... What” Ibara remained unamused, he felt like Hiyori was making fun of him.
Hiyori shook his head, still with his giggle “I still can't get used to how gentleman Ibara always does. I wish I brought my blanket too.”
“We can return to your room instead,” Ibara sighed, he continued what he was doing and covered Hiyori's body with his jacket since Hiyori seemed like he still wanted to be here.
“Mmm, I want to be here…” Hiyori took the drink and took a sip. He smiled with how good of the balance Ibara calculated to make the drink. Classic Ibara. “... You should answer my question, Producer-kun”
Ibara stares at Hiyori for a moment. He doesn't have an answer to that question. And he knows, Hiyori knows it. “.... I don't know, I guess I'll take the beating…” he joked with very much a serious tone
Hiyori is unamused. “That is not funny—”
“ —So does lying to His Excellency and Jun that you are continuing your study overseas to support your brother only to do your treatments… You even lied to your brother about it until he find out last month. Ever since, he keep calling me about you since you refused to meet him.” Ibara forced an annoyed smile. As much as he understands Hiyori's reasoning this is the only time in his life he agree to do a project that has no actual plan on how to end it.
He tried to calm himself and not to let that anger consume him. Hiyori is hurting. He is in pain. He is doing his best to keep his mental state well so that he can stop running away from everyone and actually treating it. But the fight he had with Sanbi last month felt like a breaking point. Hiyori has been acting very strange ever since.
Besides... The other two...
“I keep thinking about it. Even if everything ends up well and you would be able to return to us—them, I don't think it's fair to keep hiding it." Ibara sighed. "Since I'm also agreeing to this act, I don't mind taking the beating first so things would be more smooth when you guys meet again”
Hiyori sighed. He knows in Ibara's mind it's only a logical answer and Ibara wouldn't even think of it as anything close to a self sacrifice or the like. And that's exactly why Hiyori is always confused with this kid. Ibara always takes the shortcut that he took out of the most cost-effective efficient way which coincidentally would sound like something a softest and most gentle nation-level ideal boyfriend would do.
And it's very annoying that he did it unintentionally without any desire to make it sound like that..
“Tch…”
A flick landed on Ibara's forehead.
!? “...Your Highness?”
Ibara stared at Hiyori with a confused look “... I did say that I'd take the beating but not from you? Don't you understand how much hard time I already had because of all this?”
Hiyori was surprised with the outburst but Ibara's honesty there made him laugh instead. “I know” Hiyori tried to wipe the tears from his laugh “I can't help because Ibara is so stupid” he said, slipping his hands to Ibara's arm and keeping him close as he leaned to that shoulder instead.
Ibara is still flabbergasted with what Hiyori is doing but he just took a deep breath, trying to tone down his temper. “I really wish you to stop ridiculing me…” his usual self would be pushing Hiyori away already with how much he hates being ridiculed for nothing but he stays in his seat, taking off his glasses for a moment, placing it on the keyboard instead as he massages the bridge of his nose.
“There is nothing entertaining enough here…” Hiyori reasoned, but even he understood that he was asking too much from Ibara already when Ibara couldn't afford his own free time outside work. Yet he is here for him “But fine, I'll refrain. Though, Its indeed Ibara's fault. The script is so bad, I don't accept it”
Finally—Ibara wish Hiyori to take off his hands too but this is fine. The insult annoyed him a little though “Think about it logically Your Highness. Forging a certificate is illegal and would potentially end as bad press to your image, your family image and especially my image as well. Jun might be like that but he is quite sharp to lies. His Excellency also is not an easy one to fool. Much to my concern, it's very possible that they both actually know I lied and are only going along because your constant contact with them might mean that this is what you want them to believe. Because it is you. Because they care about you and they want you to be honest with them by your self”
Ibara took another deep breath, pulling back his glasses and adjusting it before he moved a little to look Hiyori in the eye “... I think they deserve to know… if it goes well… it would at least be a past that they need to make a peace with—”
“ — if it doesn't, which it most likely would,” Hiyori suddenly cut Ibara's argument as he put his other hand on Ibara's hand. As unfair as it is, he knows direct touch is Ibara’s weak point. But it is Hiyori himself who wants to be grounded. “I’d rather make it clear to them myself. I’m the one who requested it, it would be so uncool if Ibara is playing the self sacrificing hero instead.”
Ibara was fazed with both attacks. The statement—who the hell is playing a self sacrificing hero??—the touch? All those sudden moves overwhelmed him for a second. Instead of a push, he tried to calm himself and took that hand to hold it back.
Ibara noticed even only for a split second, how much Hiyori's gaze wavers even if he still tries to joke around. But why? Ibara didn't have time to check on the nurse, let alone the doctor because Hiyori scares him with those orders. But did something happen while he was away?
But Ibara is sure that he wasn't being updated on anything…?
“... Your Highness, did the doctor say something?”
There was more than just concern in that voice, there was worry, panic… “You already know how unpredictable it already was…” Hiyori exhaled sharply, the words didn't want to smoothly come out.
He doesn't want to perceive it properly. Repeating the doctor's words perhaps will just make it feel more real for him.
But it is his reality now.
“... Lets say.. even if the surgery goes well, Your dearest His Highness won't be the same anymore. Both here…” he pulled Ibara’s hand along with his own to point his head “and here” then rested it for a moment on his heart.
Ibara looked confused for a moment but in those split seconds, everything made sense. This place, that picture…. no daily update from the nurse to him since yesterday. The surgery is close, they're supposed to send him updates to make sure Hiyori's condition is still okay prior to the surgery.
It might sound like unnecessary worry but — he tried to calm himself down. At times like this people would pull Hiyori in a hug to calm him too right? To ease him it's going to be okay, to tell him that even if it comes to that then they would need to just find him again.
But Ibara… What should he do at times like this? Those empty words feel like a lie that even his lips can't convey. A hug? Hug maybe the option? But what should he say? He should say something right? How about Hiyori's expression… it upset him, without doubt it would upset him but does he need a pity? An assurance? Words of courage—?
“I see…” Ibara only tightened his hold on Hiyori's hand, moving a little to intertwine their fingers instead so he could ground him down—to keep him here. “So you didn't mean to say that it was bad because you'd rather me to keep up with the lie. What you want is for me to tell them the truth… without directing their anger to me?”
He is not god, he is not a doctor, he didn't even hear the actual situation to make any judgement or empty assurance that might only hurt Hiyori more.
He can only be here and be ready for everything for him.
“Finally… 100 points for Ibara” Hiyori cracked a laugh, he let go of his cling to Ibara’s arm so he could give him a pat. He wonders if all this information is too sudden. He knows Ibara is the type that ponders about things for long and expects the worst out of everything but, all these years is that not enough to make Ibara ready for the worst possible thing to happen to Hiyori?
Hiyori doesn't know. At times like this… maybe he should make the atmosphere lighter again right? So that Ibara doesn't have to feel overwhelmed with this update “ I'll be okay, I'm strong like that. And I know that you guys would help me find myself again when I survive it—”
Before Hiyori finished his words, Ibara already pulled him to a hug. Gently, Ibara let Hiyori hide his face on his shoulder. “Sorry… I'm bad with this” Ibara said, despite the uncertainty in his words. His chest was tight, breathing alone felt painful. Watching Hiyori trying his best to tone down the negative feeling inside him just made that pain worse. Even his laughter wavered with another crack, as dense as Ibara would seem, he knows how much Hiyori is trying his best to be positive about it.
But both of them know it won't be fine, hiyori won't be okay, he isn't strong like that. He doesn't even know if he will survive it.
Ibara’s hug was too sudden and even Hiyori didn't expect that Ibara would hug him without Hiyori even requesting it. Usually Hiyori would ask Ibara first if he'd need anything more than just his existence. A hold on his hand, a hug, an overnight company. Ibara usually would comply without too much questions for as long as Hiyori could feel good about it
“I know…” Hiyori finally said, his voice is soft, muffled on Ibara’s shoulder leaving them in a total silence after that.
But that silence made Hiyori manage to listen to something else.
Ibara’s heart beat.
Ibara is probably one of the rare people around him whose heart beat felt so calm almost everytime. Even when he seems angry… but somehow this time, Hiyori could hear how fast it beats. Is he scared …? Is he angry…? Is he worried…? Losing Hiyori means possible instability on Nagisa and Jun’s condition and Eden itself might as well be done for. Eden certainly was the project that Ibara nurtured so well so of course he would be angry at the possibility of it being ruined.
But as much as Hiyori wishes to define Ibara's reaction to be mere business reasons. His gaze, his tone, his touch…
This warm and painful hug.
It feels impossible to neglect his feelings.
How unfair Ibara… you shouldn't be the one who tore me apart like this.
“Even if I'm strong like that, if I have to face the pain on Nagisa-kun and Jun-kun’s face, I feel like I'll be losing. Forbidding Aniue to come despite all the calls and text he sent was already a difficult thing to handle for my heart. Hearing his voice trying to sound tough and calm was enough to destroy me and make me lose myself…”
“I'm supposed to be the sun who spreads light and happiness right… What is the point of my existence if they have to pretend to be tough just to smile for me? What is the point of my existence if thinking of me will only pain them?”
All his words are contradicting and Hiyori knows the answer himself. It is already unfair to push them away from the difficult moment in his life. People would say that their support should be an energy that pushes him to grow stronger, denying their support and pain itself is a terrible thing.
But… is it really that wrong for him to protect his own heart…?
The amount of weight from watching them presenting that smile behind their pain is much much heavier than facing the truth of his own pain.
Hiyori can't handle that.
What does he need to do now… if even Ibara is holding the similar pain too?
“... I'm scared …” — The pity in his gaze, it was more than just pity…
“I'm scared of losing myself” — The panicked look he had along with his breathless scream over his name…
The heart that even beats irregularly, even now, his touch that is both warming yet feels painful. Hiyori wonders if he has scared Ibara with his pain.
Has he scarred Ibara with his selfishness?
Did I… also hurt you in the end, Ibara…?
“I don't want to be forgotten. I don't want to forget. I don't want to lose who I am. I don't want to die. I don't want to not feel anything for people that I love. I don't…”
You're not supposed to feel anything for me right?
“I don't want to put them in pain. I don't want them to get hurt because of me… Why must I end up like this… have I not… be a good boy…”
Why are you also in pain… is it for me? Or…
but you didn't…
Ibara remain silent, although there was hesitancy in his move, he lifted his hand to start caressing Hiyori's back. He simply mimics the move Nagisa would do to ease him when he is angry. “... You're good, Hiyori-san. I don't think the reason for your pain is due to how you have been doing your whole life… you're not to blame for all of this.”
He took a deep breath, his gaze far ahead, recreating the sight of Hiyori standing on the edge of that railing earlier which made him unconsciously embrace Hiyori closer. Whatever the meaning and thoughts that Hiyori had earlier, he is simply glad that Hiyori is here with him now. “... I'm not an expert and I'm not a God either. But I'll promise you one thing. I'll support you as much as I can, more than I already do. But at the same time I want you to also understand, His Excellency—Nagisa-san, Jun, even your brother. All of them truly care about you. Even if they are in pain, it's because they care. Such a thing is inevitable with how much they feel for you. You always said to me right that we shouldn't control how people feel for us. That's why, it's not too late but you need to stop yourself from stopping them to feel what they deserve to feel.”
“Let them love and support you as much as they wish to…”
Usually, Ibara would just stay silent when Hiyori hugged him to cry.
Usually, Hiyori wouldn't even say a thing, he wouldn't even cry out his pain.
A hug alone—
—He would demand a hug from Ibara in his difficult nights, a hug from someone like him—the only person he could allow himself to feel the warmth without feeling the guilt of hurting them—is the only thing he needs. Even though Ibara’s body is quite cold. The calm sounds of his heart always manage to calm down Hiyori and make him feel at ease.
Having Nagisa or Jun maybe would be even better but… even if he could share his pain to them, it would be really difficult for him to crash without trying to put on the smile and trying to be positive about it… and thats, thats the reason why he requested Ibara to accompany him through all of this.
But as time passed by, Hiyori started to notice the pain in Ibara’s eyes. Even with his nonchalant attitude, even with his calm words, Hiyori could feel that Ibara's heart was beating faster than usual. His panic, his worry, his anger… the longer they spend the time together, the more human Ibara feels for him. The more guilt hovering inside of Hiyori's heart.
Not to mention, the thoughts that Nagisa and Jun would end up being mad at Ibara because of his own selfishness was something that he can't forgive himself for.
And yet this kid… “Ibara…”
“...yeah…?”
Hiyori looked up from his hug, exhaling quite sharply now that he felt calmed down.
How unfair he is… even if the heart that usually calms Hiyori is now beating faster, this time his words are the one pulling Hiyori back.. “... I don't know you can say cheesy things like that too…” Hiyori smiled weakly, despite the tease in his words, his question feels genuine on Ibara's end
Ibara was dumbfounded for a moment but he exhaled a long sigh. “I'm only speaking with facts … cheesy or not, it's just logical. Pushing ideas because of your worry will do them nothing good. They're the one who selfishly has feelings for you and it's something that neither of us can control. You need to just let them decide what they need to do with it”
Hiyori chuckled, “cheeky…” he commented. Ibara's words at least remained very Ibara-like, sharp, logical, and demanding. But he isn't wrong for that. If anything, he is probably only returning Hiyori's words back to himself. Maybe that part is what made him feel the cute-aggression although Ibara is far from being cute there.
Right now, he just wants to hug Ibara tighter—and crush him with it. “... Really… I'm glad you're here…”
“If I can be of help, that's good. Although it's getting more chilly, let's get you back to your room” Ibara said. But he didn't move yet, waiting for Hiyori. Usually he would be pushing him already now.
The overly considerate Ibara is quite scary.
‘I’m sorry….’
It is unfair that he only gets to see Ibara's feelings like this when he might lose this precious yet painful memory in the future. But again, if Ibara always put his feelings on the front then perhaps he wouldn't be able to take all these treatments with lesser stress.
‘How long have you been harbouring such pain for me, Ibara… did our frequent meeting change your feelings for me or did I simply… blind to your feelings and fooling myself just so I can still be with someone who does care about me in this painful journey of my life without perceiving the potential pain you do feel…?’
“Carry me then…”
Ibara blinked “but my Laptop…”
Hiyori chuckled and sighed as he let go of Ibara “clean up and carry me then!”
Ibara sighed but he did start cleaning up and putting everything back to his bag. He later get down in front of hiyori, intending to carry him on the back
“Eehhh… can't you carry me like a princess?” Hiyori took Ibara's bag—it's quite heavy, how do he even carry this around running?
‘If it's the latter… would you ever forgive me for putting you through all this pain?’
Ibara shook his head and took the bag back “No you can't even carry this…” he sighed “get on me fast…”
Although reluctant, Hiyori decides to go along since Ibara is already getting ready again. “Fine fine… You're so rough with a patient”
Ibara get up and carefully leaving the rooftop.
‘Or would you resent me… for fooling myself and turning blind to your feelings….’
Hiyori knows Ibara wouldn't want his apology…
He might be thinking the worst now but there is no way for him to know Ibara's real feeling if he doesn't really put it on his face. pulling himself and pushing Ibara away only because Hiyori realised Ibara's feeling one sidedly might just end up destroying everything more.
In the end, they are all hurting when they find out about this.
Hell, his brother is already in pain from all the pushing that Hiyori did
As Ibara has said before…
Maybe even Jun and Nagisa are already hurting too. Maybe they noticed the subtle difference and are holding themself from confronting him because they wish Hiyori would be honest to them by himself…
Maybe this is all just a bad idea…
Maybe…
“Your highness…”
“Hm..?”
“I don't usually say this, but … I do care about you too. You might simply think that I agree to do all of this just to protect His Excellency and Jun’s mental state” he carefully steps down the stairs, making sure to keep their balance there. His voice was small but without anyone there in the emergency stairs, it echoed a little “But I did it all on my own accord. I can't let you be alone.”
“So don't try to run away from me too. I'll stay overnight, I'll even handcuff your wrist to mine if needed. But let's face tomorrow together… promise me.”
“....” What is he? An esper???
“I don't have telepathy connection or the like, we just know each other for years already”
Okay at least it doesn't seem to be mind-reading. But it did startle Hiyori so much to hear such a sudden confession. It was as if Ibara just read his mind and he doesn't know if he likes it or not. Nevertheless, it was enough to suddenly pull him out before he slipped again in his spiralling thoughts. No matter how much he tries to lift himself up, Hiyori can't control that black hole pulling him down.
How pathetic it is… that the one who keeps saying that he will spread happiness keeps being swallowed by darkness…
Isn't that exactly why it's better for him to disappear—
Hiyori slumped his body to Ibara and made Ibara lose a bit of balance for a moment if he didn't hold on the staircase railing “Your Highness! Don't suddenly move like that!?”
His voice shook him back up again, like a hand that kept trying to pull him out of the gravity of that darkness. Hiyori took a deep breath and held Ibara tighter. He doesn't want to slip in again. He doesn't want to be swallowed by that darkness.
Ibara always thinks of himself as a mere bridge, string, someone that keeps Hiyori connected to the people who love him. But more than that, for Hiyori, Ibara has become an anchor that grounds him down from any of those thoughts that are pulling him away from his loved ones—including Ibara himself.
‘Tie me down… Keep me close like you always have been doing… Just for this time allow me to keep being selfish…
Help me from myself.’
“What did you say earlier? Handcuff?... My I don't know Ibara carry that thing around but… pervert, we are in hospital, you shouldn't initiate any pervy things especially to a patient”
“It wasn't the point???” Ibara wants to glare back so bad but he only sighs and focuses to get back to Hiyori's room.
“Hai hai~ I'll let it slide this time since I can't tell Nagisa-kun and Jun-kun about it without context~”
“Your highness…”
Hiyori's laughter just followed him around loudly, lively as ever. As annoying as it sounded. For Ibara, it sure sounded better than watching him keep spiralling down and drifting away from everything. Perhaps His Excellency, Jun and Sanbi-shi can do it better, but at least, this is as far as Ibara can do for him until they come.
Hold still,
Don't let me go
Please stay with me until they arrive
For you who have been struggling alone all this time
Thank you, for staying by my side.