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The sun was shining high above Smurf Village, casting crystal clear reflections across the surface of Smurf River. On the bank sat Wooly Smurf, washing his new hiking boots. He was back from a weekend’s jackalope-drive over Smurfback Mountain (at the request of his Dwarven friends).
Livestock drives were a rough business, but if anysmurf knew how to do them, it was Wooly. This one had been particularly stressful as the mountain passes were narrow and livestock could fall at any time. Luckily, not had, in large part due to the fact Wooly was a seasoned ranch hand with many decades of experience under his belt, and his rat Calam was also just as well trained. Still, it had been a stressful mission. At any rate, he was glad to be back, and was looking forwards to the sorrel soup his best friend had promised would be waiting for him when he returned home.
He fed Calam a small cheese treat from his satchel, patted her side fondly, and rode her the rest of the way to his small mushroom hut on the outskirts of the village. He dismounted when they reached the outside pen, and unsaddled Calam before filling her water and food trough. Satisfied his rat was settled back home, it was time for Wooly to do the same.
Opening the door to his own house, Wooly tossed his backpack and hiking boots aside and headed towards his bathroom. A cool wash in the river might have gotten rid of some of the trail dust, but it did little compared to a hot bath for his aching muscles.
Wooly sank into the warm water with a soft groan, the tension of the weekend finally weighing down on him. He grabbed a bar of sandalwood scented soap Spinner had given him for his smurfday – that reminded him, he had a present in his backpack to take over – and washed away the rest of the sweat and grime from the drive.
“That’s better” He muttered to himself when he got out, drying himself off and fetching a fresh pair of tights from his wardrobe. It wasn’t polite showing up for dinner in the state he’d been in before. Now he felt like a new Smurf. He paused only to grab the small parcel out of his backpack before he headed off across the village, greeting his fellow villagers as he saw them.
Spinner Smurf’s house was notable in the village as it had a large yellow rose bush out the front, the yarner’s favourite flower. Wooly stopped to sniff them appreciatively before heading to the front door and opening it. Then he closed it. Then he opened it again. Then he closed it once more and made absolutely sure this was the right house. Huh, seemed to be.
Except, this CAN’T have been Spinner’s house. Because the Spinner Wooly knew would never have allowed it to get in such a state. For starters, almost all of the furniture was tipped over or oddly angled (something Spinner would NEVER have allowed to go unchecked). But even more concerning than that, every inch of the interior was COATED in spider webs. Not small ones either. Gigantic ones, one’s that would have made even the bravest Smurf’s blood run cold.
A more sensible Smurf would have turned tail and ran straight for Papa. Wooly on the other hand stepped inside. He realised as soon as the door closed behind him that it wasn’t a smart move, since the already eerie house was now plunged into darkness despite it being daytime. The webs covering the windows were so thick.
“Shit” Wooly placed his parcel down carefully on the askew sofa and called softly into the dark house. “Spinny? Are you in here?”
Something seemed to move in the shadows. Wooly gulped, and took a tentative step forwards, cupping his hands to his mouth.
“Spinner? It’s me Wooly – where are you?”
Something flashed from the upper corner of the ceiling, then vanished just as fast.
“Dangnabbit, of all the shenanigans that go on in this village-“
Wooly took one step too far, his feet brushing over a trigger web on the floor. He watched as the vibrations trailed across the floor, up the wall, and into the dark cavern of the ceiling. He barely had time to register his mistake before something pounced, and his world went black.
He awoke an unknown amount of time later. Heart racing, his vision swam for a bit before slowly coming back into focus like he was emerging from a pool. The room was dark and still, and Spinner’s grandfather clock was ticking ominously nearby. He wasn’t in pain, which was always a good thing, and could still wriggle his fingers and toes so he wasn’t paralysed, but looking down he could see he was completely bound from the knees to neck in thick bindings. Bindings that looked suspiciously like webbing. Gross.
Something moved nearby. Wooly looked up. Staring at him through the darkness were pairs of bright green eyes. Not a pair. Four of them.
Wooly blinked.
The eight eyes blinked back.
They didn’t seem malicious. They just sort of … stood there.
“H-howdy” The cowboy’s voice came out higher than anticipated due to nerves. He coughed, and tried to overcompensate on his next sentence by making it sound as deep and manly and possible “W-who are you? And what have you done with Spinner? Cuz if you’ve hurt him or tied him up in these- these freakish webs, I’ll-”
“It’s me”
“Huh?”
The green eyes shifted, and the creature emerged everrr so slowly from the shadows. Wooly had to try VERY hard not to pass out again. The eight eyes belonged to what at first glance was a gigantic spider, which was already creepy enough, but on the second glance, Wooly realised the spider was in fact an extremely mutated Spinner.
The torso mostly still resembled his best friend, although his face now had eight eyes instead of two, and was sporting a rather frightening pair of fangs from the sides of his mouth. From the waist downwards is where it got really freaky, as what used to be Spinner’s lower body was now that of a gigantic deep black spider, with flashes of red and smurfish blue.
“Hell sakes, Spinny” Wooly whispered “What the Smurf happened to you?”
Spinner-spider shifted uncomfortably on all eight of his legs.
“I got bit by something when I went to pick Sorrel for the soup – thought nothing of it till I woke up like … this. Must have been some kind of magical creature”
A strange growling noise filled the space, like the roll of thunder despite the clear skies outside.
“What … was that?” Wooly asked nervously as Spinner shifted awkwardly once more.
“I haven’t eaten all weekend” Spinner admitted “This curse or transformation or whatever it is … it’s making me crave …” He clamped up, shaking his head suddenly “Look, I need Papa’s help alright, but I’m not about to walk out into the village in case I ea- scare, the others.”
“Well if you cut me out of these webs I’ll be able to go fetch him, no problem” the cowboy squirmed in his bindings, testing their strength. As he did so, he noticed Spinner’s eyes narrow into a much more animalistic appearance, and his fangs pointed outwards slightly; then they suddenly snapped back to the way they were before.
“Stop doing that” Spinner warned, shaking his head “I WANT to let you go, but I’m worried if you run away or trigger the webs again my new instincts will … well anyway Wooly, I’m not sure I trust myself enough to let you go just yet”
“So … I’m stuck?” Wooly sounded incredulous “For how long?”
“I don’t know” Spinner admitted “I’m lucky I stopped myself the first time. It’s not easy having a Smurf brain but spider instincts you know. I’m used to spinning yarn all day, not webs”
He gave a forced chuckle, but it soon turned into sobs, tears leaking from all eight eyes.
“Look at me, Wooly, I’m a monster”
“You’re not a monster, Spinny” The cowboy said softly “You just had a bit of bad luck with a transformation curse – you’re hardly the first Smurf it’s happened to”
“I know but this one feels more grotesque somehow”
Despite his giant size, Spinner-spider seemed to deflate somehow. He pressed his face into Wooly’s chest – something he often did when he was upset, but it was awkward with the new size difference. Wooly wanted to pat his back and tell him it was ok, but as his arms were still bound that made the comforting gesture impossible.
Then he suddenly remembered something.
“Hey now – there’s a package by the door with your name on it. It might cheer you up!”
The transformed Smurf’s head tilted slightly, but he shuffled the multiple appendages through the webs until he found the little brown package by the front door. He shuffled back, holding it between his comically large hands.
“What’s this?”
“A little present – got it from Portabelli. You remember that place”
“Of course”
Spinner tried and failed to open the box with his enlarged fingers, so he paused to think for a moment before he used one of his sharp fangs to slice through the outer packaging. Wooly winced and tried not to imagine the same fangs slicing through him. From within the parcel Spinner pulled out an intricately carved drop spindle, whose top handle was engraved with a mountainous scene of a running jackalope, and the stem an ensemble of nature symbols.
“It’s gorgeous” Spinner’s multiple eyes lit up with excitement.
“Got that from doing the jackalope drive for the dwarves – didn’t have anything I wanted really, I was in it fer the love of the trail. But I asked if any of the ranch hands had something that might interest a spinner instead, thought it’d be a good payment for the sorrel soup – cept now I might end up the appetiser, course”
“You silly man” Spinner laughed, placing a friendly kiss on the top of Wooly’s head.
His fangs brushed against him as he did, which was a slightly weird sensation, but for now Wooly was just glad to be alive.