Archive of Our Own ^beta

There were relatively clear skies as the afternoon rolled in over everyone. It had been one of those quiet days for everyone in town, where nothing really major seemed to have happened. There were no major wrecks, no public demonstrations, or shortage of supplies to help omegas and alphas with their pheromones and such. It was simply unremarkable - a day that passed by that most simply forgot about by next week.

But despite there being nothing wrong with the day... Ame still felt miserable.

She sighed, trying to shake off the feeling as she worked at her desk. She was having a day in her office, filling out reports for the Network. The light of the setting sun came through her windows, illuminating filing cabinets, tall potted plants, and two chairs she had set up for visitors. A table near the back had a coffee machine, the pot for today having gone cold hours ago. She did not always brew some - she did not like coffee, really - but... she needed the boost.

It had worked, too, given the papers she had neatly stacked on one side of her desk. They consisted of reports for several cases she had done this past month, as well as legal documents needed for ones she had coming up. Even in the digital age, it paid to have physical copies of many of these things in her mind.

Not everything could be printed, though, which was why she was typing away at her laptop currently. She was sending reports to the Network regarding some recent activity she had noticed in the closest city to her. She believed it could be temporal in nature, which made it vital that they were made aware of it so that she could get back up swiftly if required. (Normally Kronii would help her, but... she was kind of rutting Fauna today, and it was not going to stop anytime soon, so she was on her own this time.)

Overall, it was not anything strange for her to be doing. On any other day, she might have been humming a tune to herself as she filled out the necessary documents... Yet instead, she had a deep frown on her face, her eyes dull. She had to blink constantly to clear the cobwebs from her head, just trying to get herself through this last small stretch. But no matter how hard she focused, she seemed... stuck.

A stranger might assume that it was having a heavy load of paperwork that was causing her foul mood. But while it was tedious at times, the detective actually liked doing work like this most days. She was a workaholic at heart, thriving most days from doing her job, whether it was at her desk or out in the field. If anything, she was annoyed by her inability to get into her normal flow of things.

So with that not being an option, it might therefore be assumed it was due to some... urges she was dealing with. Ones that were causing a noticeable, tight bulge in her spats under her skirt. It would be causing quite a few distracting pheromones to be released, too, if not for the pills she had taken that morning and the suppressant patches she had put on her neck. Though even so, the slight smell of sunflowers still made her nose twitch.

She sighed, shifting in her seat to get more comfortable. Working while a heat or rut was coming up was not generally something most people did. The lust that clouded one's mind during them, plus how the hormones affected their coordination, was not exactly good for productivity. That was not even mentioning how their pheromones could be distracting to coworkers if you worked in retail or something. That is on top of the risk of triggering a coworker’s instincts and both parties moving elsewhere for... quality time.

Most people would simply call off work when their ruts/heats arrived. Some jobs offered compensation, but if not, no arguments were generally made regardless, even by betas. (Those that did usually learned their lessons when the bathrooms or supply closets stank of semon and other fluids.) As long as you did not abuse such time off, there were no issues.

But if you had to work - or wanted to like her - then medication and suppressants were all but required. The economy could be tough at times, after all. In such cases, though, a decrease in efficiency was expected and accounted for. And the whole time, an alpha or omega would be grumbling as their bodies begged them to breed.

The time-traveler would not deny that her current rut was part of the reason for her bad mood. She had a hard time dealing with them for... more reasons than one. How they affected her job was one of them, hating how she would have to give her work to other versions of her at times to deal with it. Paperwork was one thing, but engaging in gunfights was another when dealing with a hard-on.

It was deeply annoying to her... but it was not what was bothering her most. Or, well, she supposed it was linked to it in a way, but hey - this was just life. She had learned to deal with it over the years... mostly. If that was all that was wrong, then she would have no problem rubbing herself off when she got home so she could rest up, then continue taking pills until her rut was over. Then she could catch up on assignments and make up for wasted time.

Such was the life of an alpha... even one as pathetic as her.

Ame grimaced, her fingers faltering on the keyboard. She suddenly became aware of how slightly damp her spats were, her hips instinctually bucking for a bit of friction. She bit her cheek, trying to ignore the heat in her groin... But more importantly, she also tried to not focus on the lack of... “power,” she supposed, that was supposed to come with it. That need to push her appendage into something that simply... was not there.

That was the thing about alphas - they were meant to be dominant. They were supposed to want to turn omegas into quivering messes under them as they pounded away, panting at the mere sound of their voice. To want to prove their superiority to other alphas and show them who was in charge, always ready for a fight. To feel pride in how their pheromones overwhelmed others’ senses if one was strong enough.

As an alpha, she was supposed to do and feel these things. That was what society told her. That was what was expected from every partner she ever had. All of that was what made for a good alpha.

...But that just was never who she was. She hated being rough with people, unless it was a criminal she was locking up. She was self-conscious of her pheromones and how they affected others. She would rather try to have a nice conversation with a fellow alpha than try to brag about dick size or how good she was at pleasing others at least a little bit.

It was like everything she was supposed to be, she was the opposite. None of the traits she was supposed to have came naturally to her. It was not like she had zero of them - when needed, she could put on a strong voice to give commands, which was useful when leading a mission. But even then, she seemed unable to muster that same authority for more... private affairs.

...Not that she was very into such affairs, to begin with. Just another knock against her... One she was painfully aware of... And one she had received an unpleasant reminder about when searching her office earlier.

The detective’s eyes strayed to the other side of her desk, where the object that had caused her funk sat. She... had no clue how she had never found it before now. It had to have been there for months now, hidden in the back of that drawer. Had she seriously never checked it this whole time? Had... the pheromones she knew that she had rubbed into it been so weak from the start that she never noticed it? Had she seriously never noticed its absence, either, or just did not care?

...The questions hardly mattered, though. What did was that she had found it today... and it had managed to sink her heart instantly. No matter what file she worked on, or whether she tried other distractions like eating or listening to music, the object continued to mock her. Putting it somewhere would also not change anything, she knew.

For sitting there was an orange handkerchief - a special embroidery of gold on it depicting a phoenix. A cute little thing she remembered getting her omega friend for her birthday a few years back... A friend she had tried to have a relationship with. Who had taken to doing cute things like hiding these around her office despite... discussions they had, to tease her.

But... it had not worked out. It never did. As always, she had managed to screw things up and-

The time-traveler sucked in a breath, shaking her head. She blinked hard, trying to ignore the stinging in her eyes. She knew that Kiara would hate knowing she was framing it that way - insisting that she had been the one in the wrong. It was... something she was struggling to believe, but she was trying. Some days, she even did.

When in the middle of a rut, though, with the sign of another failed relationship before her... it was hard to have that conviction.

She attempted to take another breath, trying to finish the report she was on. But she kept having to blink to clear the mistiness in her vision. The fact she was tearing up also reminded her of how un-alpha-like she was - a “real” one would suck it up and take their frustration out on a pillow or a mate later. The memories of her failed relationship also continued to plague her, especially that night when things had finally broken off. All of the tears and pain, the confusion, and... and...

...She could not keep operating like this.

The time-traveler sighed in defeat, slumping against her desk. She had made a good effort - more than good, she was sure Kronii would say. This report about the potential temporal anomaly was the last important document she needed to get done. After this, it would be well within her right to go home. (The Network would have accepted her taking the day off, anyway - they understood the “quirks” of timelines like hers involving alphas and omegas.)

But even so, she had hoped to power through some less important paperwork. Not much - she did not need an earful about sleeping in her office (again), but it would save her time later. Yet she had to face the fact that... she was too emotional right now. If she pushed herself any more after this, it was only going to cause issues.

She just... needed to calm down. She needed some comfort to distract her from the deprecating thoughts going through her head. From the reminder of how awful of an alpha she was that she could never please any omega she ever-

...Except for her current mate, that was.

She paused, pursing her lips. Was... it okay to bother her with this? Like, she knew that her mate was not busy today, but... she did not want to impose on her. What if she was out with friends? Or what if she was putting together a date night and ruined those plans with her request? Or-

She won’t care, a voice in her whispered, calm and soothing. Her mate was always understanding with her about these things. It was not like she was forcing her to come, anyway - if she could not make it, she would explain why and promise extra cuddles later... Though she really would prefer them sooner.

Ame waged this internal war with herself - her feelings against the desire to not appear weak. But with her rut already making her emotions run high... she gave in to the first. Thus, she hid the document on her laptop briefly and brought up Discord. It did not take her long to get to the private DMs she shared with her lover.

She paused briefly, uncertainty nearly staying her hand. After another glance at that handkerchief, though, she crumbled, typing up a message and sending it before she could stop herself again:

ɑDetective: Hey, I’m feeling a little down right now. Are you able to come to my office? I could really use some comfort right now.

There was a tense minute as she awaited a response, feeling the beginning of a sweat on her forehead. She knew she should not be stressed - her mate could be doing so many other things to distract her from Discord. Not getting an immediate response did not mean anything.

But... it was still enough time to make her wonder if this was the right thing to do. To wonder if she had pushed her luck a little too far. That this would be the time that the other said she was finally done with her, tired of how pathetic she was and-

At the bottom of the screen, she saw that her lover was typing, cutting off her thoughts. Then, that message was sent:

ZombieΩ: Of course! I’m not that far away, actually. I’ll be there in about half an hour! Just hold on until I get there, alright? Love you!

It was amazing how such a simple message instantly brightened her mood. She smiled shakily, a fresh wave of tears springing from her eyes that she tried to wipe. Her heart was already picking up with anticipation, eager to see her face again. Which... felt a little silly, since they had seen one another just that morning. But it did not change the dreamy feeling building up in her, anticipating being able to hold and smell her!

...She was so excited, that it took her a second to realize the rumble emanating from her chest.

Eye widening, the detective put a hand over her mouth, flushing with embarrassment despite no one being around. She swallowed thickly, trying to stifle the sound. She mostly succeeded, but the vibrations, while muted, continued on. Just trying to open her mouth caused other small noises to escape her as a result.

It was absolutely mortifying. An alpha purr was not supposed to be an easy thing to draw out. Guttural and possessive growls, perhaps, but not joyous purrs like omegas freely gave to their mates and even friends. From an alpha, it was most often heard after very intimate moments with those they loved. Short ones might also happen if they were holding their child, or their mate did something particularly sweet.

Yet here she was, purring like a fool just from knowing her mate was coming to visit. Any alphas she knew growing up would never have let her live it down. Even among her friends now, she was trying desperately not to let moments like these be heard too much. She just... could not handle getting made fun of, even in jest.

...The implication of how attached it meant she had gotten to Ollie also made her face feel like it was burning up.

As much as the time-traveler wanted to curl up and hide, however, she still had a document to finish. So, trying to ignore her damnable instincts, she brought up the file again and got back to typing. It would only take a few minutes, and after that... she could await the arrival of one of the most precious people she had ever met. Who always seemed to know how to make the shame inside of her go away.

...She only hoped her rut and the scent of her omega did not turn her mind into mush before she could explain her problems.

-------

Ame’s office consisted of two separate rooms. One was the office in which she had been working in nearly twenty minutes ago. People entered the other one, though, when they came to see her. It was much more homely, with more potted plants, a bookshelf filled with various novels, and plush chairs and a couch. A water cooler was by the door for refreshments, as well as neck suppressant patches on a small desk. (If people wanted her help, then they would ask without using pheromones to intimidate or seduce her. Otherwise, they could go elsewhere.)

Nine times out of ten, she met clients in this room if they wanted a face-to-face discussion. Only if they were a good friend would she let them into her working space. That way, her working area was not overly contaminated with pheromones that might distract her. And when a little bit did rub off in there, she knew how to air out and decontaminate things.

It was not an unusual practice for people if they could do so with their job. Everyone had a tolerance for these things, but if you could minimize these variables in any way, all the better. Lord knew how her brain could be affected by the scent of an omega constantly bugging her especially. Her nose was quite sensitive to these things.

...It was something that Kiara had known, too, when they were together. She ruminated on that as she sat in the front room, draping herself on the back of the couch. Her rut was more tolerable now thanks to some fresh patches and retaking some pills. Still, it was only the beginning of it, and she would be struggling with its effects for days to come. Thank God I got the main bulk of my work done. It’ll be light work at home until this is over.

But like before, the throb in her groin was not bothering her the most... It was the orange handkerchief that she held in one hand, which she stared at vacantly. The fabric was smooth between her fingers as she scrunched and twirled it. The embroidery also seemed to sparkle a little from the afternoon light outside.

Even now, it was hard to detect any pheromones from it. But if she brought it up right to her nose... she could smell it. That warm scent like something sweet being cooked over a fire that she knew the phoenix for. Though the one from this item was slightly different from what she normally produced - somehow more... sugary. A sign of the affection that went into marking it, despite how un-potent it ended up.

It brought back some good memories... but also too many painful ones. The detective grimaced, balling up the fabric in her hand. She recalled how many times she had been so close to this exact scent. Like any alpha, she had loved nothing more than taking in these kinds of pheromones during quiet times. They had helped her to relax... To feel a bit fulfilled.

...At least, so long as the scent was not in places she had not wanted it to be.

The phantom of those old frustrated feelings from then surfaced as she recalled Kiara’s little game. Somehow, no matter how tightly she locked up her office, that woman had found ways to break in and hide her things everywhere in her working area. And usually, the pheromones would be potent, like she had rubbed them all over her neck glands. Given time, they easily permeated the space... and set off the blond’s alpha senses.

The phoenix had done so to be cute - to tease her a little bit. She had later admitted to it being a fun game she used to play with Calli when they dated centuries back. Quite a few couples partook in it, from what she knew. All she had intended was to show her love through these actions and... make her more excitable.

All it ended up accomplishing, however, was making the time-traveler annoyed.

Like... it was one of the things she made very clear with all of her friends! Unless she invited them in, no one was allowed in there! Even being her mate did not give someone an exception to this! She wanted a space where she could work with a clear head! Where the only pheromones she had to worry about were her own!

So coming on some days ready to work, only to find her head swimming from Kiara’s scent, had not been pleasant then. It took so much effort to clear those pheromones away so she could focus. Worse was when they were tantalizing enough to cause her to go into an early rut, messing with her workflow even more. Or the one time that it was timed with her natural rut, which had left her a panting mess - leaving her head so foggy and later causing-

The time-traveler whimpered, curling up on the couch. Those had... not been good experiences with her. Those were not the only things the phoenix had done to make her uncomfortable, either. The other’s teasing nature always seemed to manage to poke at her weak points - and not in a good way - as well as her insecurities.

...But she did not blame her friend for that. She had barely done anything to stop her - trying to get her to tone it down, but hiding the depths of how much it messed with her. Because... alphas were supposed to enjoy these sorts of antics, right? Playing along was what was supposed to make her a good mate. Failing to meet those expectations had cost her relationships before, so... surely if she forced herself to enjoy them...

A bitter chuckle left her. There was a certain irony to that whole situation. She had been unable to assert herself properly and make her omega behave, like a “proper” alpha would be able to. But if she had, she would be denying doing things that were supposed to be great for alphas. And so she had meekly gone along with it... which also proved how terrible of an alpha she was.

Not that the phoenix knew then - she had acted tough in front of her, trying to seem strong. She thinks the orange-haired woman saw through her a bit, given how much she giggled quite a few times... but evidently not enough. She likely assumed it was just silly alpha posturing. But... the truth came out eventually, in the worst way possible.

Ame curled up more, but when it accidentally brought the handkerchief too close to her nose, she choked and threw it on the nearby coffee table. She gritted her teeth, unable to hold back these feelings any longer. Just... what did she think she was going to accomplish by reminiscing? Now she had made a mess of herself before her mate could arrive. God, she was going to look so weak!

But then, what was new there? She... she would never be a good alpha. No matter what she did, whether she was honest or lied, she always got it wrong. She was an embarrassment to, alphas and any omega unfortunate enough to date her. A little pup who clearly had something wrong with her.

Why... why was she like this? Why could she not be normal? Why could she never get things right? Why-?

The door connected to the building hallway opened then, and a familiar cheery voice called out. “Ame! Sorry about the delay! Did you know the elevator was out? So annoying!”

Startled, the detective looked that way, and sure enough... there Ollie was. Her breath caught a little, seeing the patchwork gray skin of her face illuminated by the light from the windows and her heterochromatic eyes shining. Her hair also seemed to be glowing from this angle, done into a long ponytail at the back. She dressed incredibly casually today, with a black long-sleeve sweater and baggy dark gray pants for the cold weather. Yet the former did nothing to hide her neck, which...

...which already had suppressant patches on it. Normally, she went without them unless in heat, letting her pheromones get to cloying levels in the air. If they were at one of their homes, she likely would not have put them on, either, unless asked. She knew how much the blond craved her scent in other settings to unwind.

But here... The time-traveler had nearly forgotten that the zombie put them on every time she came to the office, as a precaution. Even when they stayed in this front meeting area, she made sure to have them. It was such a small thing, but... after the day she had been having, it meant the world to her. It made fresh tears sting her eyes before she could stop them, those rumbles starting again in her chest.

The undead-girl was smiling widely as she stepped in, closing the door behind her. As she stepped closer and took in her appearance, though... it quickly faded. A worried frown crossed her features, her steps quickening as she came to the side of the couch. “Ame? What happened? Are you okay?”

The concerned tone broke Ame down further, shutting her eyes tightly in a vain attempt to stop her tears. Yet somehow, she managed to force out some words from her clogged throat and despite her chest vibrations. “I-I... I didn’t mean... I was trying to...” She kept failing to finish her thought, unsure of what she even wished to say.

...But that did not stop Ollie. She heard her sigh, followed by footsteps as she rounded the couch. The omega sat next to her on the edge, her hand carefully removing the alpha’s deerstalker cap. Her voice was gentle as fingers messed with her hair. “Oh, Ame... I’m sorry. I didn’t realize it was this bad from the message you sent. You’ve been going through it today, huh?” Another hand went to her arm, fingers lightly trailing down it. “It’s okay now. I’m here. You can let it out.”

The detective felt goosebumps on her skin, the rumbles getting louder. She could smell her mate’s pheromones so clearly now - scent like freshly fallen rain in a field of grass. Her member strained in its confines as her instincts flared, her hips humping the air a little. Any other alpha might have been seizing the initiative and started licking and biting their mate, forgetting their issues through pleasure for a time.

However... sex was the furthest thing from her mind, despite the heat below. And rather than simply take what she wanted, she instead opened her eyes, sniffling as she met her lover’s gaze. She squirmed in place, hating how quiet her voice was. “Can... can I hold you?”

A part of her expected ridicule from asking so pathetically, burned into her growing up... But of course, the zombie only smiled warmly, climbing further onto the couch. “You’re always allowed to, dear. No need to be shy.”

The time-traveler’s cheeks burned... but the giddiness in her heart overpowered that. Almost as soon as the redhead was sitting in her lap, her arms wrapped around her in a vice grip. She pressed their bodies close, the omega’s legs encircling her back as the alpha’s drew up and acted as a seat for the other. Their heads rested on one another’s shoulders, neither touching their necks, but their positions were still good enough to breathe in what pheromones they were producing deeply.

The feeling of her mate - slightly cooler than a human, but still fairly warm - made all of her tension melt away. Her eyes fluttered shut, a sense of calm encompassing her. She managed to hug her even tighter... and soon, her purrs were freely escaping her, her brain screaming from having her omega in her arms.

She was still self-conscious about this habit of hers, but that concern was muted now. All she focused on was the need to keep holding her mate closer. Her worries about being a bother or looking pitiful faded away as fingers continued to curl in her hair and went under her coat and shirt to rub circles on her back. Each motion caused her pitch to shift a little, but the happy giggles from the undead-girl helped her to not care too much about it.

She never had to worry about not being a good alpha with her. In these moments... she could just be herself. There was no need to hold back her traits that she had become so ashamed of. In this woman’s arms... she was accepted. She was not looked at like something was wrong with her.

With her... she had found a peace that she had yearned so many years for.

Hours seemed to pass by, though she knew realistically it had only been a few minutes. Far too soon, though, Ollie hummed next to her, speaking quietly as if not to disturb her. “Are you feeling better?”

Ame swallowed, trying to find her voice despite her deep purrs. She managed to start speaking after a few seconds, choosing to ignore how her voice rumbled from her chest vibrations. “I... I am. Thank you.”

The zombie giggled, twirling a few locks of the alpha’s hair. “Good. Was today alright, despite... whatever it is that happened? Has your rut been bothering you?”

The detective blinked, having momentarily forgotten about her throbbing member. A surprising thing... considering that the omega’s own groin was pressed right on top of it with how she was sitting. Their chests were also pressed together, and while her mate may lack in large “assets” there, she took notice of the softness beneath that sweater. One of her hands was fairly close to the redhead’s ass, too, to help with steadying her.

Yet despite the position and the pheromones permeating her senses now, she kept her control. She shrugged, being careful not to shift her hips too much. “It’s just been the usual sort of annoying. The cooling weather outside I think helps a lot along with the pills.”

“No... premature releases?” the undead-girl asked.

The time-traveler shook her head. “It likes to leak a little when I need to move around, but no. I tend not to do it when I’m on the job.”

Ollie giggled. “And here I thought that would be the benefit of working alone all day. Who’s going to complain if you head to the bathroom and jerk off real quick for relief? Or even just do it under your desk?”

“My future self,” Ame responded, rolling her eyes as her purrs became more manageable. “And any clients or friends who decide to make a surprise visit. This is not that kind of alpha office.”

The zombie laughed some more. “Ha! Yeah, I know. I was just joking.” There was a pause after this... before her voice became more serious, yet tender. “Do you want me to get you something infused with my pheromones later to help with it?” Her fingers rubbed another pattern on her back. “Or... want me to be there next to you while you relieve yourself?”

The detective flushed, having to clear her throat a few times. A few of her doubts rose back up, making her hesitant. Even after so many months together, it was still hard to be... open about her needs. “I... Y-you don’t need to do that. I don’t need-”

“I know you don’t ‘need’ it,” the undead-girl said. She pulled back a little, the blond shivering in protest. But then those mismatched eyes met hers, filled with as much care as the voice that accompanied them. “I asked if you wanted me there. I’m willing to.”

The time-traveler knew she was. The rumbles in her chest intensified as she recalled the nights they shared a bed while she was rutting or the omega was in heat just... being there for one another. More recently, they had also begun making nests in their homes - a step that made her heart race thinking about it. Why would it not, given the implication that went with it? That they expected to be with each other for a long time, and needed a place to feel the other’s presence when they had to go away for a while.

They had not officially used either yet, and now would be a good excuse to do so - to be so close in such a special place. And yet... she hesitated, pursing her lips. Was... that taking things too quickly? Would that make her seem... overly needy? She had already asked a lot by interrupting her mate’s afternoon just to cuddle with her.

Besides... it was not like the redhead would actually be doing anything. She was too feeble of an alpha to accept her omega’s touch to so much as rub her dick. All her lover would be doing was sitting there giving her pheromones, and perhaps hugging her from behind as she did the work herself.

Ollie had done so before without complaint, but... what if tonight was different? Would she get annoyed and tell her off? There was an easy solution to this, of course, but... was she ready for her to do anything more? Having to ask that question made her feel worse, too. What alpha had doubts about wanting an omega to pleasure them during a rut?

Her was the answer... and it had ruined too many of her relationships in the past.

So it... seemed like a better idea, then, to just deny the offer altogether. I could always ask for her sweater when she’s done with it, I guess. As much as she was doubting herself now... she did not want to be rid of her scent tonight. It would also help reassure her mate that she was not the problem or anything, right?

Hoping that would be the case, Ame looked down, purring her lips as she reluctantly shook her head. “N-no, I... I think I’d rather be alone tonight for that. I just wanted to see you after...” She trailed off, before sighing, trying to ignore the handkerchief she had left beside her as she attempted to smile. “Well, you being here has already made me feel better. So don’t worry about it, okay?”

The zombie stared at her intently, eyes boring into her. She did her best not to flinch, hoping that her mate would not see through her facade. She felt awful for being so secretive, but she was starting to feel too awkward about it now. So she hoped that her ability to put on an act from over the years of her work would-

The omega sighed, looking at her sorrowfully. “...You’re doubting your worth as an alpha again, aren’t you?”

The detective froze, eyes widening as the slight haze of pheromones and her rut cleared for a second. “Huh? How did-?!”

“Your purrs,” the undead-girl responded, tapping the alpha’s chest. “They always pitter away when you’re thinking about that sort of thing. That, in addition to you not jumping at the chance to have me help with your rut when you usually have in the past...”

...For a second, the time-traveler was too stunned to speak. Her grip on her mate felt stiff now, unable to move her limbs. She suddenly was incredibly focused on her purring, noting how much they had truly died down. Normally, she could barely get them under control when they were holding one another. It was a trait of hers she tried to ignore to preserve her little remaining dignity, hoping the other did not mind it. And yet...

“You... noticed that?” she asked, needing to hear the verbal confirmation.

Ollie’s eyes softened, nodding as her hands went down her back, this time on the outside of her clothes. “Of course I did. I notice every little tick with them.” She stared at the blond’s chest, smiling sweetly. “It’s... very soothing, honestly. It’s one of my favorite things about getting to cuddle with you. I’ve never heard an alpha purr so much!”

“...We’re not supposed to,” Ame said quietly, eyes moistening - from affection or shame, she did not know.

The zombie returned her sad gaze to her face, patting her back. “That doesn’t make it bad. Any omega you’ve ever been with should have been proud to hear it. I’m sorry if most of them made you think otherwise.”

The detective pursed her lips, wondering if she should... make clear what her purring fully met. But considering that she had been seen through already... what did she have to lose? She felt guilty enough for trying to avoid things after asking her mate to do this for her. She may as well make up for it immediately.

Thus, she admitted the truth. “...I never purred with any other omega, Ollie.”

That earned her a surprise look from the undead-girl, mouth slightly gaping. “...Seriously? Not... even Kiara?”

The mention of her friend made the time-traveler flinched, but she nodded. “Never. I don’t think I’ve ever purred since I was a kid. I guess I never really...” She did not finish that thought... but she knew her lover could fill in the rest: “I guess I never really felt happy enough to do it with anyone else?”

Ollie stared at her for a time as she processed this. Then, she giggled bashfully, for the first time seeming like a demure omega in the arms of their alpha as one would expect as she smiled. “Heh... You, uh... really know how to make a girl feel special, huh? Not sure what I did to earn such an honor, but...”

...Ame was not sure she knew where to begin explaining that - why she felt safer around her than all previous mates. It was several things, really, like her respecting the boundaries of her office. There was also the energy she brought with her on dates that never faltered just because the blond was being awkward. Not to mention her ability to put her foot down even in the face of strong alpha pheromones, whether hers or others, even without taking the right pills!

And her patience with her... Dear God, she had not realized how much she had desperately wanted that from a mate. Someone not expecting her to rush ahead in things... To not be like a perfect alpha, even though she knew she was supposed to be-

The zombie’s hand was on her face now, wiping away a tear she had not realized had fallen. She pressed a kiss where it had been, her voice soft again. “I’m still not hearing those purrs anymore. Do you want to talk about what’s wrong?”

The detective took a breath, trying to compose herself more. But despite that... she could not stop the waver in her voice. “Why... why do you put up with me?”

The undead-girl looked at her sternly, that earlier shyness gone. “I don’t ‘put up with you.’ I love you. I like being with you, whether for dates, cuddles, or helping with your ruts.”

“But why?” the time-traveler asked, sniffling as the words tumbled out before she could think about them. “I... I can’t be fulfilling your needs like I am! I-It took me so long to even just be there for you during your heats! Even then, I don’t touch you as much as I should, or where you need it. I’m not rough, or dominant, or-” Her breath caught, looking down with increasingly panicked eyes. “What the hell is the matter with me?! Why am I so bad at these things?! I-!”

She suddenly found herself being pulled close, her head next to Ollie’s neck. Immediately, her senses were hit with pheromones, which now had an extra floralness to them. She recognized it as a sign of her mate trying to calm her down - make her relax.

She did not fight it, taking in deep breaths of the stuff as she clung to the omega and cried. She was squeezed back, soothing words whispered in her ear as hands once more rubbed her back. She let them wash over her, releasing all of the pent-up doubts and fears that had been with her most of the day.

At some point, her small sobs teetered off... and she noticed her chest was rumbling loudly again. This time, though, she did nothing to fight it off. She was too tired to... and if the redhead liked them, then she might as well keep doing it, expectations be damned. If she did not care, then... why should she?

It was a mindset her lover and every one of their other friends were trying to help her learn... She just wished it was not so difficult at times.

Once her tears had dried up and her mind was calmed by the waves of pheromones, Ame squeezed her mate some more. “...I’m sorry.”

“Don’t apologize for slipping a little today,” the zombie replied, before a small growl left her throat. “I swear, though, if I ever meet the alphas and omegas who put those ideas in your head, I’m going to bash their heads into a wall.”

That got a laugh out of the detective, mingled with her purrs. “I think you’re going to have to get in line for that. I think Gura and Kronii want them skewered on their weapons. Even Elizabeth looked tempted to ignore ‘justice procedure’ just to find one of them and give them a lesson.”

“Well, hey, if she needs an excuse, I can put in the request myself,” the undead-girl said. They both chuckled, the mood lightened a fraction. Once it died down, though, she pulled back to look the alpha in the eye again, her gaze questioning. “But... seriously, what’s brought this all up again? Was it a bad dream last night, or...?”

The time-traveler sighed, still feeling awkward about going into detail. But after all of that, she knew it was time to better explain herself. Thus, she hesitantly reached beside her and grabbed the forgotten handkerchief, bringing it up beside them. “It... was this. I found it when looking through some cabinets earlier.”

The redhead gazed at it, a look of understanding spreading on her face. The blond looked away, shrinking a little while also not pulling away from their embrace. “I don’t know how I never found it for so long. But seeing it just... brought back memories.” She pursed her lips, her chest tightening slightly. It was... not exactly easy to discuss time with your past mates with your current one, even if they were a mutual friend to you both.

Naturally, though, Ollie did not seem the least bit annoyed. If anything, her expression became more tender, gently taking the piece of cloth from her. Her eyes remained fixed on it as she addressed her softly. “Ame... you know Kiara doesn’t blame you for how things went between you two. She’s okay with where you both ended up. Hell, she’s practically our biggest hype woman now!”

Ame blushed lightly, recalling all of the times the phoenix cooed over seeing the two of them together kissing and laughing... It did not get rid of the guilt lingering in her heart, however, as she looked down. “It was still my fault how things ended, though.”

The zombie moved her free hand as if to cup her cheek. “That isn’t-”

The detective cut her off with a sharp look. “Don’t you dare try to deny it! I’m the one who never spoke up over her antics! If I had, then...” She took a deep breath, going back to looking away with shame. “I let that tension rise. It wasn’t her fault.”

Briefly stunned, the undead-girl then sighed, shrugging in concession. “Okay, fine. I won’t say that you didn’t make mistakes... even if they were born from those unhealthy ideas you received growing up.” She shook her head. “But Kiara knew how jittery you were, despite how you tried to hide it. She should have asked you more and listened when you told her to calm down.” She frowned, glancing away. “Especially with what she was hoping to do with you that night.”

“...She told you about that, huh?” the time-traveler asked. She had never said anything directly, but it was not exactly a secret, either, so...

Ollie shrugged again. “Not too much... Just enough so that I wouldn’t make the same mistake as her. But I had already gotten the message that intercourse was off the table for now.”

Ame sighed heavily, pulling the other closer again so she could hide her head in her shoulder. She remembered that night too well. It was when Kiara’s little pheromone hiding in her office, among other things, had worsened her natural rut. She had not had any more pills on hand, and it had unfortunately been more intense than usual, likely due to her senses being worn thin by that point. It had ruined all her work that day, unable to focus on anything other than keeping her hands away from her dick.

She had been incensed by that, and had stumbled to the phoenix’s place that evening to confront her. Not... the wisest decision, given her state then, but she had not exactly been thinking clearly. All she had wanted was to demand that she stop from now on, and did not want anything miscommunicated by text or voice call. So she had let herself into the orange-haired woman’s home to do so...

...only to be brought into an intense kiss, her senses assaulted by Kiara’s heat. The next thing she knew, she had been brought to the bed, and her then-mate had rubbed her already nude body all over her. Begging for her to claim her while she kissed her face all over, trailing close to her neck, while her hand also ghosted her raging erection.

The detective shivered, her purr mingling with a whine as she hugged the redhead more. The way things had escalated then had left her so lost and confused - even frightened amid that lustful haze. It was a scene she had not wanted to be a part of by that point in their relationship. She knew that she should have tried to voice some sort of denial right when it all began.

But... she was too afraid of not coming across as a good alpha. So in her muddled, scared state, she had tried to give the phoenix what she wanted. It was not like they had been virgins, anyway (not that she herself had ever had a good time with sex). It had been a few years since she last tried, so maybe she had gained the right instincts during that time, too!

...But she had not. She had not been able to be as rough as Kiara wanted, or at least “move” quickly enough for her. She had kept getting other things wrong as well, and she had heard the frustration in the firebird’s voice, and...

A sad chuckle left her, doing her best to hold back another breakdown. “You know... for how much I hated myself for previous nights with mates - for not satisfying them... Kiara was the first time I ever cried during it.”

“Oh?” the zombie said, not pressing for more but being sure to continue massaging the alpha’s back to help her.

The time-traveler nodded against her. “I guess something... broke in me then. From not being able to even give a friend of mine for years the kind of treatment she wanted.” She sighed. “I suppose it worked out for the best, though. Nothing kills the mood, even when rutting or in heat, like a crying alpha, right?”

That earned her a light slap on the back of her head from the undead-girl. “Don’t frame it like that. You were upset. Being an alpha has no bearing on that.”

“But-” Ame tried to say.

“Wouldn’t you have stopped if Kiara was the one who started crying?” Ollie asked.

“Of course!” the detective replied immediately, appalled even thinking about doing otherwise.

The zombie kissed the top of her head. “Then don’t focus on what you are. Her stopping and the talk you had was just her being a good mate... and a good friend.”

The time-traveler felt her heart sink, recalling the rest of that night. Even in her horny state, Kiara had stopped everything to check on her, even when she feebly tried to “finish things.” The moment the blond had been allowed any space, though... she cracked and ended up curling up on the bed, begging for pills, patches - anything to clear her head. Apologizing in a blubbering mess for ruining the night.

Or, well... her exact words had been: “I’m sorry I’m a defective alpha.”

...She will never forget the look of horror and guilt on the phoenix’s face when she said that. It was like she understood everything perfectly then, even before she got her pills and water and they were able to talk. Yet she had ended up spilling the particulars anyway of her life growing up, and the... abuse she had gotten in school. (She accepted that was what it was now, even if she was never hit or anything.) The burden had become too much then, and she had been unable to stop herself from what felt like confessing her sins.

The rest was history after that. A night resting together in one another’s arms, telling the other silently that they did not hate them, despite all the miscommunication. Then days of slowly opening up about parts of her life growing up to their friends with her support. (Though to this day, only Kiara and Ollie knew everything there.) So many plans were made that would morph into the attempts to boost her confidence now.

And... the official break-up, the whole ordeal souring their ability to be mates. They were still close, and she was grateful for that. But on days like today... she could not help but wonder about how things went wrong so quickly. All because she was a ba-

...Because she let her insecurities stop her from being honest.

Ollie poked the blond’s chest once more, pulling back enough so that she could see her smile. “I’ll take that as a sign we’re making progress?”

Ame blinked, before giving a subdued, yet genuine chuckle. “You are... way too good at reading my purrs. I don’t even know all the things you seem to be hearing.”

The undead-girl grinned widely. “Well, you can consider me the expert, then! I guarantee you I know more than anyone else!”

“...I literally told you five minutes ago you’re the only one who has ever heard them like this.”

“Then my statement is true, isn’t it?”

The detective snorted, and soon the two of them were laughing together. When hers ended, though, she went back to resting against the omega, letting the rumbles in her chest convey her happiness. The venting had left her feeling... lighter. Not better about the past, but a bit more accepting of how things had gone.

The conversation, though, was not done, as much as she would have loved to stay like that. She sighed, eyes drifting to the orange handkerchief still in her mate’s hand. “I just... wish it didn’t end that way. I mean, I guess we... weren’t right for each other anyway, but... if I could, I would do anything for anything less painful, you know?”

“Makes perfect sense,” the zombie said, setting the cloth on the back of the couch. She then gave her full attention to the alpha, cupping both sides of her face. “Still... try to look at the positives. You finally realized you needed therapy, for one. And you both found someone new in the end!”

The time-traveler glanced to the side, nodding slowly. “There’s that, I guess... Nerissa’s a good match for her.” Her eyes softened, her hand reaching up to brush her lover’s ponytail. “I don’t know how I ever got along without you, too.”

The undead-girl blushed, pursing her lips. “Oh, you’re such a flatterer! Not that I mind.~”

Ame grinned, a bit of pride in her chest. Then she sighed, her purrs dying down a little as she tried to keep her voice steady and looked her in the eyes, hoping to quiet down her remaining doubts. “I’m... not a bad alpha, though... am I? Like...”

Ollie hummed, tapping her chin in an exaggerated fashion as if contemplating this carefully. However, the glint in her eye gave away the type of answer she was going to give. “Hm... Well, let’s see. If we’re just talking a few traditional traits... on the job, I know how focused you are. You take charge of situations and act as an excellent ‘pact leader’ from all the stories Gura and Ina have told me. When faced with bad odds, you don’t even flinch. You leave any breakdown from stress for after everyone is safe.

“And one thing you share with alphas in all situations is protectiveness over your mate.” She patted the arms around her for emphasis. “If a guy or girl is hitting on me, you have yourself around me before I can even blink when we’re out! Reine’s also mentioned the one time you growled at her when she did some friendly, but very flirtatious banter with Kiara back when you dated.”

The detective flushed, squirming a little. “I-I was fresh off a rut! My hormones were still running a little haywire!”

Giggling and shaking her head, the zombie continued. “Still proves my point.” Her smile became more tender, setting aside the handkerchief and tapping the blond above the thigh. “And if we want to talk about what makes you better than some alphas, your self-control is... honestly incredible. Do you know how many others would have pushed their way into me if I were dating them?” She rolled her eyes fondly. “Honestly, more of them could stand to follow your example and not listen to their dicks so often. I bet you even forgot about it while we were talking”

The time-traveler coughed, scratching the back of her head as she retook notice of her member, softer than before but still feeling hot. “Ah... maybe a little.” She frowned. “It didn’t... feel like a positive trait for a long time, though. So many omegas just wanted me to top them and... well, ravage them.”

“Well, half of them would probably thank you for that now,” the undead-girl commented. “They were likely hyped up on hormones and not thinking about the potential consequences. A few were also probably trying to trap you into a relationship by getting you to give them pups. Getting an alpha wrapped around their finger early in life.”

...Ame blinked. “What... kind of line of thinking is that?”

Ollie sighed. “The kind that high school students with delusions of how love works use if they’re crazy enough. They are the worst of omegas, believe me.” Her expression became more tender. “But... that’s just down to them as people. There’s really no such thing as a ‘good’ omega. An average, maybe, but I’m not even sure about that.” She rested her forehead against hers. “And there’s definitely no such thing as a ‘good’ alpha - not in the way you were led to believe.”

The rumble in the detective’s chest intensified. “Ollie...”

“It’s okay not to be aggressive in bed, or to not want to use your pheromones to assert dominance,” the zombie said, her voice warm as her arms trialed down to her back again. “It’s okay to act awkward when talking to people. And it’s most certainly fine that you want to take things slow instead of splitting me wide open the moment your rod is stiff.”

The time-traveler coughed and choked, even as her heartbeat picked up. “Did you have to phrase it like that?”

“As opposed to being direct?” the undead-girl asked, laughing lightly at the eye roll she got. She then pressed a kiss against her cheek, sighing. “You aren’t a bad alpha, Ame. Being an alpha is just a set of instincts and pheromones you have. They have their influence... but you get to choose who you want to be.” She smiled lovingly. “And I look forward to the day you’re able to accept this in your heart... and know why I see you as so beautiful.”

...Ame did not think she could find the words to express how much the other’s efforts meant to her. So instead, she let actions speak for her and pulled her into a kiss. The omega melted into it, the two of them letting their tongues get involved. They leaned back against the couch, getting entangled as they savored the makeout session.

And all the while... her chest let out the deepest, happiest purr she thinks she had ever released. A signal that ever so slowly, she was healing from her experiences. That she was enjoying what they were doing... And most importantly, it showed the level of trust she had put in her mate.

Perhaps that was a little fast for a few months of being together... She could not bring herself to care, though, as she realized how nice it was to release these sounds, and let her mate swallow them up as they kissed.

Even as they pulled apart, she wanted the redhead to keep hearing them. So she turned them onto their side, shifting the slightly taller woman so that her head was against her chest, right where the purrs originated. They gave her voice a deep rumble as she spoke. “I... I don’t know how I was lucky enough to get you as a mate.”

“You certainly seemed surprised when I confessed,” Ollie said, pressing her ear against her as she closed her eyes and relaxed. “Something about ‘commonality’ in the Network?”

“I’ve only found one other version of me and you who are open about being together so far,” the detective replied. She was not interested in going over multiversal relationship probabilities, though. She held the omega tighter, eyes going half-lidded. “...Thank you for this. I’ll get what you’re saying in my head eventually - I promise.”

“It took over a month for you to get like this again - I’d say you’re already doing great!” the zombie replied. She cracked one eye open, glancing at the handkerchief. “Still... if everything that happened with Kiara is bothering you that much, you should go talk with her. You know she won’t mind just like me.”

“...I know,” the time-traveler said with a sigh. She looked at the cloth as well. “I’ll do it later this week, and return that while I’m at it.”

The undead-girl hummed, continuing to listen to her purrs even as they became less intense. The alpha curled her fingers through her lover’s hair, getting a few soft purrs from her as well. They became the only sound in the room as the two laid there, unwinding from their conversation. She breathed in the omega’s sweet pheromones, her turmoil greatly reduced from just an hour ago. I don’t know how I can ever repay her for doing this for me...

...Well, actually... perhaps she did. Her rut was not going away, after all, with her erection pressed against the patchwork woman but being tactfully ignored. She knew her mate had offered just to give her some pheromones to help later, but... perhaps she could be a little more involved this time.

Feeling a flutter in her stomach, Ame lightly nudged her head, smiling down at her. “Hey, about what you were asking earlier... I’d love for you to be there to help.” She began to blush heavily, but even so, she finished her offer. “And... perhaps you can... touch me. Including down there to get me off... in the nest.”

Ollie’s eyes slowly widened, looking rather surprised. She raised her hand to her face once more. “Are you sure? Don’t rush things if you’re not comfortable.”

That reassurance only helped to solidify the detective’s resolve. She smiled warmly, making sure her content purrs were audible to convey her sincerity. “I’m sure, Ollie. You’ve been patient enough with me. It’s about time that... I started to give a little back here.”

“...Does that mean you’ll finger me while I jerk you?” the zombie asked, a teasing smile gracing her lips.

Face completely red, the time-traveler squirmed... but also tightened her grip on her. “I mean... if you want me to? That’s... probably a better way to give back, isn’t it?”

Laughing, the undead-girl leaned up and gave her a peck on the lips. “I was just messing with you... But if you’re up for that, I won’t say I’m opposed.~” Giggling more, she settled back against her chest. “We’ll work it out when we get to your place. Right now... let’s just relax.”

Ame sighed, burying her face in her hair. “Sounds good to me.” She closed her eyes, letting the problems in her life float away as she breathed in more pheromones. It was a long journey for her yet to get over the abuse of her past, but with Ollie, Kiara, and everyone else... she had hope that she would make it. Be able to enjoy the things she had instead of getting hung up on what she was not.

And as she let her purrs fill the room... for the first time that day, she truly felt like a good alpha.