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Shu knows Luca will propose to him next week on their fifth year anniversary.
And Shu will say no to him.
He doesn't know the exact details. But he sees the Discord notification from Wilson popping up at the corner of Luca's laptop while Shu was borrowing it after his own bluescreened.
zad I got the ring for wed!!!!
It just so happens that Wednesday coincides with a certain dinner reservation they have, at the same fancy steakhouse they went on for their first date.
“You don't have to splurge for a date, y’know,” Shu said. “I'm fine with anywhere, really.”
“But Shuuuuuuuu!” Luca whined over the phone. He may not see it but Shu could perfectly imagine the pout on his boyfriend (boyfriend!!!!)’s face. “We gotta have the stereotypical all fancy dressed up first date. And besides, what kind of date will I be if I bring you to a burger joint? That's not romantic at all!”
Shu did not mind.
But if Luca insisted, then who was he to refuse? “Fine,” he acquiesced. “But you're paying.”
That night, they ended up splitting the bill anyway. And on their second date, Shu took Luca to a burger joint after spending the afternoon at a planetarium, watching him with such fondness as Luca talked about constellations and black holes passionately.
He didn't even notice that Luca had been stealing fries from his plate.
They tried to fit more dates in between their busy work schedules before they had to return to their respective countries.
A long distance relationship. Shu doesn’t know how they lasted years with such a setup, but he guesses having a… rather questionable body clock helps. When it is 5 am for Luca, he would go on a morning jog while listening to Shu heat some leftovers for an incredibly late brunch.
“Next time, I'll wake you up at a much more reasonable time and make you run with me and so that you can eat a proper breakfast,” Luca said in between breaths.
“Then I'll make sure to book an AirBNB separate from you so I won't have to.”
But of course that didn't happen. What happened instead was Shu dragging his feet on the wooden floor when their mornings were the same once again, being woken up by the smell of freshly brewed coffee.
“You're awake.”
Shu hummed in response, wrapping his arms loosely around Luca's waist. “I thought you're gonna wake me up once we meet again?”
“You looked so tired from jetlag.” Luca turned around to face Shu and placed a faint kiss on top of his head just as Shu buried his face on his boyfriend's chest. “Maybe tomorrow if you really want to.”
But Shu doesn’t want to go jogging. They do plenty of walking when they're together anyway, be it alone or with their friends.
He just wanted to stay like this with Luca tomorrow.
Tomorrow.
And another tomorrow came, with Luca brewing another pot of coffee for Shu despite not drinking coffee himself.
And another tomorrow with Shu, wide awake, but pretending not to be if he could have an excuse to cuddle with Luca while the smell of bacon wafted around the apartment.
And tomorrow with Shu finally being able to wake up much earlier than Luca just as the sun was about to rise. In those quiet moments where all Shu could hear was the humming of the air conditioner and the soft snores from Luca. Those moments he wished he could freeze the time so he could count the freckles dusting Luca's cheeks.
And maybe he could kiss each dot.
Another tomorrow came and went, and soon they're far apart again.
And all Shu could do was to count the days until he got to be with Luca again.
He figures that's how they managed to deal with the long distance – always counting days and months before they can see each other again.
Until work calls for them to be at the same place again. It's tiring, flying from the States to Japan. But Shu is willing to fly again and again if it means he gets to see Luca not across his screen, to hear his voice loud and clear and not through phone calls.
“Happy birthday, Luca!” Their friends greeted him in unison. Their managers were gracious enough to give them today a day off from the seemingly endless recordings and paperworks. Petra and Meloco stood by his side with the cake in their hands while Millie and Enna led the group to a chaotic sounding happy birthday song, nevermind that other customers were taking a peek inside the private room they booked to see what the noise was all about. Meanwhile, Claude and Wilson got into some weird competition on who could cook and place the most meat on Luca's plate while Vox buried grilled peppers amidst the beef mountain.
Shu watched all these with a glass of lemon sour on his hand and with laughter on his lips.
Luca looked so good, especially when he was surrounded with love.
Pink looked good on him, getting more and more flustered when Millie started to use her sexy voice to call him “baby boy”.
Or when, like Shu, his face was flushed from all the lemon sours he drank. His speech got slurred, his accent a bit more prominent as he complained about the amount of meat in front of him.
Or when they finally left the yakiniku place and into the breezy spring night with no next destination in mind apart from walking down this path lined with cherry blossom trees.
But most of all…
“Hey.” Shu pulled Luca by the hand into a halt, letting their friends walk further ahead of them. The golden hues from the lanterns strung around the walkway cast a warm glow over Luca, the weeping branches of the trees making a perfect backdrop when he turned to regard Shu.
Shu felt his heart ready to combust with how much he felt for this man.
It's not far-fetched to call it love, given that they have been together for close to a year now. Shu knew his heart only grew and grew for him.
It's kind of overwhelming, really.
“I love you.”
So he let it overflow, standing on his tiptoes to press a kiss on Luca's lips.
That was only just the first of their many kisses.
A kiss on the cheek before they separate to be in their respective group of friends (with Claude and Uki never failing to tease when Shu stares off space for one second because he's wondering if Luca has already drawn a penis on air to throw at Wilson.)
A kiss at the back of their hands as they stand at the middle of the busy airport before they have to part ways and Shu will have to start counting down the days again.
A kiss on the air amidst the distance between them, brought closer by FaceTime.
(A kiss on Shu's finger, which he uses to press on his screen when Luca falls asleep on him before he ends the call. It is a kiss only Shu will know.)
A kiss filled with longing and desperation by two lovers reunited after months of being apart, shared behind closed doors and between chased breaths.
A kiss Shu will say no to if it transpires on their anniversary date.
He will say no to Luca. He will close his velvet box. He will make him stand up when he goes down on one knee.
Shu loves Luca. He loves him so much, so much so that he will say no.
Uki knows.
Elira knows.
Heck, even Wilson, who unknowingly gave the surprise to Shu away, knows.
They will be at the restaurant. Shu makes sure they will be (upon their insistence, if he were to be honest), but he also makes sure they won't be anywhere where Luca can see them.
They won't witness a rejection, oh no they definitely won't.
Because once Shu says no, he knows Luca will feel dejected. He will smile and pretend he isn't hurting and will continue with dinner as if nothing happened.
So before that happens, Shu will kiss Luca. He will pour all the love he has for Luca onto that kiss.
Shu watches the notification on the laptop disappear and laughs.
Because he loves him so much, Shu will say no to Luca proposing to him.
Instead, he will get down on his knee and give Luca the ring that has been inside his bag for months now, which he bought immediately after he got back to the US from the last work trip.
“Guys,” Shu said while he's out with Elira, Petra, and Uki on their way to a collaboration cafe. “Um… can you, uh…”
It was unusual for him to be at a loss for words, his heart jackhammering against his chest at what he was about to say. They caught on, nevertheless, pausing their walk to regard Shu curiously.
“Can we?” Uki raised an eyebrow.
“Yeah?” Elira urged him to continue.
“You're going to propose to Luca?!” Petra squealed jokingly. When Shu remained quiet, she said, “Wait, is this for real? You're actually planning to?”
Shu nodded, feeling his cheeks heat up.
A cacophony of “bitch what the fuck?!!” filled the air, earning them affronted glares from passersby.
“Okay.” Uki grabbed Shu’s arm and started pulling him towards the cafe. “I’m not caffeinated enough for this bombshell of a news. We need to go somewhere private to discuss this now!”
They have had it planned for months now. Uki was able to get Luca’s ring size by borrowing one of his rings because they “thought it would look good” with their outfit. Petra called the restaurant for the reservation. Elira wrote the speech for Shu to say for the proposal.
He read the script, smiled, and told her that it might be better for him to just go with the flow.
So, no. Shu will not reject a forever with Luca.
If anything, he wants it so badly with Luca.
Luca, whose body clock might have changed over time, still makes sure he brews Shu coffee in the mornings. On the occasion that he wasn’t able to, he would buy him one from a cafe with the order Shu mentioned once in passing.
Iced latte with one pump of syrup. Can you substitute the milk with oat? If not, that’s okay.
Luca, who almost always sends him TikTok videos whether oceans or an unfolded blanket separate them, always makes Shu laugh, repeating lines he finds funny again and again until Shu tells him to shut up.
He always tries to seal Luca’s mouth shut with a kiss. But instead, Shu feels like the kiss only serves to transfer the ear worm to himself because then he, too, will repeat whatever Luca is saying.
Luca, who looks good in pink, never fails to blush whenever Shu kisses him. It is indeed uncharacteristic of Shu to be into PDA, but can you blame him? He is obsessed with seeing pink on his boyfriend!
Luca, who has a “surprise” for Shu next Wednesday, will undoubtedly have his heart broken for a second. So it is up to Shu to be able to catch it before it even shatters. It’s a stupid idea, he knows. He can just propose tonight when Luca gets back from the studio. Tonight, when it is just the two of them with no other eyes to see.
But no. He will not let Luca steal his proposal from him. Nope. Nuh-uh! He’s thought of the proposal on Wednesday for months now and he will not let anything and anyone get in the way of his forever.
And if Luca says no, too, then Shu will just have to fight him until Luca concedes and lets Shu slip the ring on him.
And maybe he will let Luca propose to him once he is done.