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Zanka didn't have time to doubt himself. That opportunity had long passed when he went through all of the hassle to retrieve the item in his hand. He could reconsider, he could cancel, he could back out, back then.
Now, it was too late.
"Whatcha bring?" Enjin eyed the tin box with genuine curiosity.
Zanka wasn't even sure if Enjin remembered, it had been so long ago. It might just be a speck of unimportant memory, meant to be forgotten for Enjin. It wasn't like it was something life-changing, like it was to Zanka. Surely, Enjin had so many more important things to remember, instead of—
"Is that manju?" The way his eyes lighted up, Zanka told himself he shouldn't let his bias affect his own point of view.
Enjin didn't light up, Enjin didn't get excited. Well, he did, but not in the way Zanka intendedwanted. Enjin always loved when people brought him something, might it be a pack of new brand cigarettes, or simply drinks or snacks.
Manju was no different than cookies and candies. It was just another sweet treat.
"How did you get that, Zanka?" Enjin observed him now, shifting his eyes entirely to Zanka instead of the tin box.
It took all of his might to not crumble at the attention.
"I have my way," he ended up saying. Enjin didn't need to know how exactly he got them, Enjin only needed to know that Zanka finally got them. "Just thought, you should have the first bite, before Riyo and Rudo finished them off in a second."
Lies rolled easily on his tongue. Zanka had guarded the tin box with his life, ever since he managed to get his hand on it.
It was for Enjin first, he told himself. Only for Enjin, he kept the thought at bay.
"Don't mind if I do," Enjin grinned. "Come open it, then. Been a while since I had a tasty manju."
Even longer for Zanka. Manju reminded him of that old life that he hated, and Enjin was the only one who had the power to change his perception towards the sweet treat. Many had changed ever since, but some always stayed the same.
Zanka took off the lid, revealing two lines of three manjus with leaves print on them. They were dusted beautifully in peach and light green colors, something about them remind him of a time that should be easy to remember but he genuinely couldn't recall. Didn't the Sphere had something called seasons? Something that had to do with how the weather change and so do their surroundings?
What was it again? Was it autumn or spring?
"Thank you for the food," Enjin solemnly said, reaching out for one. Zanka copied him.
The manju weighed strangely in his hand, Zanka should probably just bite into it like a normal person. Instead his palms went to crack it slowly into two. At whim, the red bean paste emitting a tantalizing sweet aroma, tickling his nose.
Zanka wasn't even sure if Enjin remembered, it had been so long ago. It might just be a speck of unimportant memory, meant to be forgotten for Enjin. It wasn't like it was something life-changing, like it was to Zanka. Surely, Enjin had so many more important things to remember, instead of—
It was a miracle, Zanka didn't drop the manju in his hand, when Enjin leaned forward before grabbing his wrist gently and taking the half-part of the manju into his mouth.
It took all of Zanka's might to not crumble at the sudden action.
How Enjin didn't let go of him, as he munched the manju thoughtfully. How Enjin didn't even bother to return to his sitting position, but keeping himself close to Zanka's hand, despite it was now empty.
It felt like a forever when all Zanka could ever do was waiting for Enjin to take his sweet time to digest the manju. Either unaware of how Zanka froze in his confinement, or that he intentionally kept him occupied.
Zanka wanted to look away, Zanka should look away.
But he couldn't.
"It was just as good as I remember," Enjin finally said, not without rubbing his thumb over Zanka's pulse point in useless subtlety.
Only then, he put Zanka's hand down, to eat the manju he had picked himself, at last.
"Even better," Enjin added, finishing the sweet treat with apparent glee. The way his eyes lighted up, Zanka told himself he shouldn't let his bias affect his own point of view.
Enjin didn't light up, Enjin didn't get excited. Well, he did, but not in the way Zanka intendedwanted. Enjin always loved when people brought him something, might it be a pack of new brand cigarettes, or simply drinks or snacks.
Manju was no different than cookies and candies. It was just another sweet treat.
"I'm glad," Zanka mumbled in response, forcing himself to finish the half-manju he had in his other hand, before he said something more embarrassing, or worse, doing something more embarrassing.
After a long time not having the manju, Zanka could barely recall the taste he should get. It could be tastier, and it couldn't be—he wouldn't know.
The red bean melt in his tongue, mingling perfectly with the fluffy texture of the manju.
It was good, but Zanka would not be able to tell, whether it was better.
Well, the company certainly made it better, now that he could testify.
"Zanka," Enjin called.
Zanka didn't realize he had looked at his own lap, where the tin box seated, until he had to look up at the mention of his name.
Just as fast as it began, it ended.
The thumb swiped the corner of his lips gently, as if it had its attempt of getting rid the imaginary crumb. The half-manju had disappeared into his mouth in one gulp, Zanka and his manner wouldn't let himself chew with open mouth.
Just as fast as it began, it ended.
Leaving Zanka dumbfounded, ears burned with redness tinged his cheeks.
"It's a shame, I don't have any handkerchief," Enjin told him, casually licking the thumb.
Zanka swore he saw the mischievous grin behind the gesture, but he couldn't point it out without stammering and probably embarrassing himself. Enjin had to know he had won, because he took another manju and split it out, just like Zanka did. Enjin's hand offered the half-part of the manju to him like a challenge.
"More manju, Zanka?"
Zanka didn't have time to doubt himself. That opportunity had long passed when he went through all of the hassle to retrieve the item in his hand. That opportunity had long gone when he allowed Enjin to play with him that way. He could reconsider, he could cancel, he could back out, back then.
Now, it was too late.
Zanka leaned forward, mouth opened slowly, as he maintained steady eye contact.
He would lie if he said, it didn't excite him that Enjin's pupil dilated at the antic.
Enjin didn't get excited. Well, it turned out he just did and exactly in the way Zanka intended.
Two can play the game, Enjin.
"Don't mind if I do."