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She wasn't entirely sure what just happened. Saori had closed her eyes for a second, preparing herself to be smacked again over a misunderstanding. She tried to clear it up, to stand up for herself. But some people couldn't be reasoned with, no matter her best efforts. So she had no choice but to take the hit and move on. Or so she thought.
Once she opened her eyes in an attempt to fix her confusion, she was greeted by the sight of the girl crouched over holding her stomach. Kotone was lowering her knee as the malice on her face refused so subside.
"Leave her alone."
Honestly, she should've expected as much. Kotone was always the type of girl who'd go to bat for her loved ones. It was hard to remember she was included in that sometimes. And yet, that wasn't the part that made her heart race.
Sure, she was scared for her friend's safety. She hated the idea of someone getting hurt on her behalf, or getting in trouble. She almost got into a fight, and only avoided it thanks to her friend. Normally, either of those would've gotten her excited.
However, there was something that was taking precedent over her mind. Completely interrupting her train of thought of thought, as well as suppressing her logical side.
Kotone was holding her hand. Pretty tightly in fact. It was a simple gesture. She'd seen girls being affectionate with each other all the time. It wasn't something she had the pleasure of experiencing often. She didn't have many friends after all. Just people who'd use her.
Thus, she found herself biting her lip, on the verge of tears. She couldn't completely place why that was. Now wasn't the time to dwell on that though. Saori could break down and psychoanalyze herself when they were safe. With Kotone still holding onto her for dear life, Saori walked away from the girl in pain. It made her feel a bit bad, but the alternative was to keep the fight going, and that wasn't going to end well for anyone involved.
"Yeah go ahead bitch! Run away!"
"Says the bitch still gasping for air!" Kotone replied with a scowl.
"Kotone-chan, please…"
Saori and Kotone continued to quickly walk away until they were sure the girl wasn't going to pop up again. She had seemed to learn her lesson. Saori exhaled a sigh of relief once she realized they were safe and sound.
"I could've taken her…" Kotone grumbled.
"You know that's not the problem. You could've kicked her to the curb easily," Saori sighed again, though with a bit more affectionate exasperation this time.
"Sorry I just… I can't stand how people treat you," Kotone admitted. "You're such a sweet person. You don't deserve any of it."
"I appreciate it." Saori said with a soft smile.
She looked around, just to make sure no one was particularly paying attention to her. Her gentle expression fell as her eyes drifted towards Kotone's hand. She was still touching her. With no witnesses besides her best friend, she sniffled. She put an arm to her eyes as more tears began to fall.
"Saori?!" Kotone exclaimed as she dropped her hand. "What's wrong?! Are you okay?"
She hiccuped. "I don't know. I just… I felt emotional because you… you were holding my hand. You touched me, and I don't know why but it just… it's hard to put into words."
Kotone began to fidget as she stepped away from her friend. "I'm… sorry. I just… I wanted to protect you. I didn't mean to hurt you…"
Saori shook her head. "No… you didn't hurt me. Which is why I'm so confused… You did nothing wrong… so why do I feel this way…?"
Saori knew she was being irrational and wasn't making sense, but she couldn't help it. She was just trying to be honest, she hoped she didn't offend her friend. She watched as Kotone's eyes widened before drooping.
"Saori… You don't have to answer if you don't want to but… How do I put this…" Kotone closed the distance between herself and Saori. "How often do you… get hugged and stuff like that?"
The question managed to catch Saori off guard. She wasn't sure where that came from. It felt so out of left field that it stopped her from breaking down. "Um…" She started thinking, and was struggling to remember the last time she got a hug. "I… don't really know when the last time was."
"Any touch at all?"
Saori folded her arms. "I assume you mean… positive touch? So not like… being hit or anything. Honestly… it's been a while… I don't really physically interact with people much."
"Saori…" She said sadly.
"Hm…?" She tilted her head.
"It's possible that… that's why you're upset. You're… not used to being touched affectionately. But you want it, so when it happened you got overwhelmed."
"…Can… Can that happen?"
Something about that felt off to Saori. She was crying because no one had touched her in so long? It made her feel a bit embarrassed. Despite the fact that there was part of her that felt like it was true. Her family didn't hug her much, if at all. Even though she saw them every day, they never really touched her. They'd wave at her, they'd greet her, but never hugged or kissed her.
"I think so." Kotone put her hands behind her back. "I… had a similar problem. There was a long time where I didn't really have anyone who'd hold me. I'm better now but… it was miserable. I think it's normal for people to want that. Most people get it no questions asked though… which is probably why you don't hear about it much."
"I see… Well I'm sorry." Saori bowed down as if she was begging for forgiveness.
"Huh…? Why are you apologizing?"
"I didn't mean to make you relive something that upset you so much…"
Kotone reached out to touch Saori's shoulder, before she quickly pulled it back before she made contact. "It's fine. I chose to share that. I just say that to say don't feel like you're weird or anything."
Saori stood back up. It was a bit of a relief to know this wasn't some anomaly about her. She didn't want to push Kotone away. "Um… well…" She started to blush. "Is it… too much to ask for a hug?"
Kotone grinned. "Not at all." She held her hands out with a smile.
Saori looked her up and down, she seemed so inviting. Kotone always had this aura, that made it feel like everything was going to be alright. Saori opened her arms as well and embraced her friend. She rested her head on Kotone's shoulder, and practically melted. She felt her knees buckle as she put more of her weight onto her friend.
She could feel the emotion swelling in her chest. Tears gently fell once more, but now at least she understood. She was happy, she felt great. She had nearly forgotten what the sensation was like, to feel safe and loved in another person's arms.
"I may have to ask you to do this more often to be honest." Saori admitted.
Kotone giggled. "Ask any time. I'm always happy to give you everything you deserve."
Saori sat there for a few more minutes just enjoying the warmth emanating from Kotone's body. She expected her to pull away at some point, most likely due to Kotone feeling awkward. Yet she never did. Her breathing was soft and gentle, as if she was just as relaxed as her. Kotone's kindness never failed to amaze Saori. She loved that about her.
Saori soon pulled away, her face flushed. She wasn't sure if it was because she was flustered, or if it was because she had just been crying. She grinned at her friend, who was grinning back at her. Saori's face warmed up even more, as if the sun was inside of it. Kotone's smile gave off the same impression, shining brightly.
She'd never tire of seeing something so beautiful. Even though she saw it so often, every single day in fact. It was something she'd always enjoy as if she'd just seen it for the first time. It was hard to explain to someone else, but it'd always make her heart pound, as if she had just found the holy grail. That's just how much Kotone meant to her.
"You know…" Kotone began. "I like to give people what they deserve in general, not just you. You get what you put out you know? So… if someone ever messes with you, let me know!" She cracked her fingers threateningly.
Saori couldn't suppress her giggle. She knew she was completely serious, and that was what she found funny. It was so charming how she could just say things like that with a straight face. "You know I can't do that. I don't want you to hurt anyone." Despite her own seriousness, she couldn't help but smile.
"I know I know…" She said relenting. "I guess I have no choice but to you have your back at all times." She shrugged.
Saori tilted her head. "How do you intend to do that? You can't always be with me."
"Well no but…" Kotone started blushing. "If people knew I had your back, they'd probably leave you alone."
"I suppose so… You're pretty well liked around the school, but I think everyone knows not to mess with you… I guess if everyone knows we're friends maybe? I don't want to put any burden on you though."
Kotone grabbed Saori's hands and gave another trademark grin. "You will never be a burden to me Saori."
"Kotone…" Saori felt like another dam was due to burst. She thought she had cried enough today, so she tried her best to keep herself together.
"No need to cry." Kotone pulled away and wagged her finger. "You're at your most beautiful when you smile."
Saori's eyes widened before she giggled again. "Okay… then just for you you charmer." She then smiled as genuinely as she could.
"That's what I like to see!" Kotone beamed. "Oh but, don't think you have to hide your feelings from me either. I'm here no matter the weather." Kotone looked away. "Anyway… while I have you here… there was something I wanted to tell you. I derailed a bit from my original point."
Saori put her hands in front of her. "Yes?"
"I think everyone should know you're under my protection but… I don't know if friends would be enough to really hammer home that they'll feel my wrath if they mess with you."
Saori giggled, she just loved the way Kotone would phrase things. It made talking to her so fun. "Go on?"
"Well, if telling them that you're my friend isn't enough…" She rubbed the back of her head. "Maybe… my girlfriend?"
Saori's face immediately fell. She wasn't sure if she heard that right. "Your… your what?" Did she mean a closer friendship?
Kotone shifted uncomfortably. "It's… it's fine if you don't want to! I'm sorry if I made you uncomfortable I just… I'm fine with just being friends! We don't have to date! I shouldn't have brought it up…"
Saori gently took both of Kotone's hands and squeezed them. "You're okay. I just didn't expect it. That's all. You did nothing wrong. I had just… never considered the idea. I thought I was lucky to have you for a friend. I thought it was selfish to want anything more…"
"Sorry for freaking out…" She said as she lowered her head.
"No, it's fine. You've picked me up so many times. Let me pick you up." She leaned towards Kotone and rested her forehead on her head.
Saori had to admit, she didn't mind the idea of taking care of Kotone. She always watched as she took care of everyone else. She saw how hard she tried to hide her weaknesses. She was more than happy to switch roles. They could help each other.
"Saori I…" Kotone gulped. "Thank you…"
"No problem. I haven't answered the question though, have I? I'd love to date you Kotone-chan. If you'll have me that is…"
Kotone smiled again. "Yes, yes of course. I hope that I'll meet your expectations."
Saori released Kotone and put her hands on the sides of her head, before kissing her crown. "You're more than enough right now. I promise."
It was a bit humbling to see this side of Kotone. The one who didn't have everything together. Just a glimpse of the her beneath her mask. She'd love nothing more than to prove to her that it was unnecessary, at least around her. She could see through it after all. Her greatest love in the world was the real and true Kotone.