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(Do you think Peter will notice we’re gone?)
[Of course he’ll notice, he’s probably partying.]
(He wouldn’t party without us!)
[Dunce he’s partying because he got rid of us.]
‘Quiet you two.’ Wade thought, ‘You’re fucking up my concentration.’ He twisted his arm again, trying to free himself from the metal cuff, ‘Besides, Petey is probably tracking us. Then he’ll send the Avengers in to save us.’
[The Avengers wouldn’t save us.]
(They would for Peter. He’s got them wrapped around that delicious little finger of his.)
‘Stop with the finger fantasy white, if we don’t get out of here we won’t feel them ever again.’ Wade snapped, giving a rough jerk and hearing the resounding crack that meant his wrist was broken. For the second time. In the last hour. ‘Damnit.’
“Oi!” Generic Goon Number One called, “Stop yer squirming! I refuse to get in trouble for damaging the bait!”
“I don’t see why you’d get in trouble GG#1. You didn’t break it. Though maybe you will get in trouble for wearing that truly atrocious…. wait, did you say bait?” Wade asked, frowning at GG#1 through his mask.
“Yep, your just bait. So sit back and relax.” GG#1 said.
“Ok one, ouch, your killing me here. I can be so much more than just bait. Two, bait for who? I’m not exactly Mr. Popularity, very few enjoy my unique brand of charm.” Wade replied, he felt his wrist finish healing and he resumed his escape attempt.
“Your partner, Spiderman.”
[(‘What!’)]
“What?!” Wade repeated out loud, “Why would you want Spidey?”
(Beyond the ass you can bounce a quarter off of.)
[And the sense of humor that can keep up without own.]
(And the heavenly chimichangas he makes us!)
[Damn! Maybe he will notice we’re gone. We’re late for homemade Mexican night!]
“My chimichangas!” Wade whined.
GG#1 ignored him, “We need Spiderman’s blood to make nice little spider minions.”
Wade snorted, “You have me already captured in your cliché little abandoned warehouse and your wanting Spidey’s blood? Man your dense.”
“Oh but we aren’t Mr. Wilson.” Came a sinister chuckle. Wade turned his head to see a Q-ball in a lab coat walking in, “You see we don’t want duplications of a failed experiment. We want the near perfection that Spiderman has with the ability to kill our little herd of soldiers should any of them ever get any ideas.”
“Well, Spidey is perfect.” Wade mused, “But I wouldn’t get your hopes up of him coming for me. He will probably send his friends.”
Q-ball laughed, “I think not. I sent him a very clear message.” They were interrupted by the faint sound of gun shots and screams, “And it seems he heeded the warning.”
(Oh no! Our poor Petey!)
[He’s gonna die trying to rescue our pathetic ass.]
Wade tried harder to get free as the sound of shooting grew steadily louder, unfortunately all he did was break his wrist again. He tensed when the noise beyond the doors went silent.
[That’s it! We got him killed!]
(Have faith!)
Q-ball grinned, “Looks like we caught ourselves a spider.”
Suddenly the double doors burst open and three unconscious and bleeding goons were thrown into the room. “I believe you have something of mine.” A voice rang out.
(Petey!)
[Did he just claim us?]
(*sniff* He did!)
Wade’s jaw dropped open as Spiderman appeared in the doorway, his boxes went suspiciously silent. The longer Wade stared like a horny thirteen-year-old, the tighter and more uncomfortable his spandex got. Finally, he couldn’t help it, “Damn Baby Boy! That’s hot! Definitely spank-bank material.”
Peter sighed and Wade could tell he was rolling his eyes behind the mask, “I told you, you don’t need that. I’m right the fuck here.”
“Still, seeing you with my katanas in your hands. Super turn on.” Wade whistled.
Peter huffed, “We’ll explore that after we get home.”
“How the hell did you get past fifty men with machine guns?!” Q-ball screeched, interrupting them.
Peter looked at him, “Do you not see the sharp ass swords in my hands? Or the tight ass spandex on my ass? They really don’t call me Spiderman for shits and giggles.”
“But…”
“Look Dr. Evil wannabe. I slaved in a kitchen for six damn hours to make dinner tonight. A dinner that is now cold and congealing because you took my boyfriend away!” Peter growled, “So you have two choices. Free him and let us go or join your men.” He gestured to the unconscious men with a blade.
Q-ball and GG#1 lunged at Peter who simply swung the swords and cut them down.
Wade’s mouth was dry, “Damn baby boy. Do I look that delicious handling Bea and Arthur?”
Peter walked over to him calmly with a smile visible through his mask, “No, you look hot as hell.” He leaned down and pressed their masked lips together as he released the restraints.
Wade’s arms shot up and around Peter, “My knight in shining spandex.” He crooned.
Peter pulled away with a laugh, “I’m still not bedazzling my suit Wade!”
“But baby boy!” Wade whined.
Fin?