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Alec slowly took off his glasses, folding them before he stuffed them in his coat pocket.
His head was bent, and he couldn’t bring himself to look up from a spot he had zeroed his gaze onto on the wood floor where remaining tea stains revealed the shame of his fall the other night; when his cup dropped from one hand spilling out across the floor boards and his other grasped at his chest as he sank to the ground, feeling like his world was coming to an end.
He clasped his hands together now, wringing them tightly as he tried to muster up the courage to speak.
The door was open slightly, letting in the cool breeze that came off the canal, settling a chill in the house.
Ellie stood there, leaning against the wall opposite Alec, clearly trying to catch his gaze. She sighed, zipping up her NorthFace jacket before she started walking towards the door.
“Well…I guess I’ll see you around then, sir,” she murmured, reaching for the door handle.
“Miller…” he whispered, softly, finally looking up to meet her eyes.
His breath stifled, catching in his lungs as his eyes roamed over her, gazing admiringly at her soft features and nest of dark curls. She stopped, waiting for him to say more.
But he couldn’t, could he? What could he say that wouldn’t ruin what little bond they had left? They had just arrested Joe Miller with charges for the murder of Danny Latimer not even eight hours ago.
Ellie’s whole life had just been turned upside down and Alec was the bearer of bad news.
He thought his heart was already broken until he saw Ellie break down in tears that morning as he attempted to rub soothing circles on her back.
All he wanted her to know though, was that he was there for her, and he would continue to be, no matter what. They could lean on each other if they had to.
But he couldn’t push the words past his teeth, and instead was left staring back at her with pleading eyes, which he hoped she would be able to read and hear the voice yelling in his head, “Don’t leave! I need you! All I want is for you to stay!”
But to no avail, his internal cries had no effect and Ellie gave him a sad smile before she turned towards the door, ready to leave.
However, with one hesitant pause she stopped herself, and turned back to walk towards Alec.
He raised his eyebrows at her, shock cracking through the tough exterior he tried to uphold.
She stopped, standing just a pace in front of him and let out a small breath, eyes dancing over his face. He watched her watching him, and his face dropped as he saw tears starting to well in her eyes.
But before he could so much as open his mouth, she stopped him.
“Hardy…” she sighed, smiling mournfully as her hand reached up to brush a lock of hair from his forehead.
She moved her hand to cup his cheek, her thumb softly rubbing against his stubble. Alec didn’t dare to move a muscle, sure he would break whatever moment this was.
“Alec, would you look at me?” she asked, peering up at him.
He listened, cautiously flicking his eyes back to Ellie’s.
“We’re okay.” she said, matter-of-factly.
She held her gaze firm to his, and Hardy watched as a tear managed to escape, slowly rolling down her cheek. He couldn’t manage to stop himself from lifting his hand up, swiping the tear away with his thumb. Ellie’s eyelids fluttered and she chuckled wetly, her hand still cupped softly around Alec’s face.
“Hardy…please promise me you won’t get into trouble. You’ll be alright, yeah? We both will. We…I know we can get through this.” She whispered, hope tracing her words.
She smiled up at him, for real this time, before she leaned up to give him a peck on the cheek, and her hand dropped to her side. Alec closed his eyes, and he let out a sigh, despairingly.
There was no chance for him to tell her now, he thought. She walked towards the door, flipping her hood up before she opened it, and this time she didn’t turn back before she left.
“Ellie, please,” Alec whispered uselessly to the now empty room, and suddenly felt a dark cloud fill the house, a darkness that he had gotten used to being warded off by Ellie’s light.