Work Text:
They’d met, of all places, on a student housing forum. The kind where desperate second-years posted “clean, responsible, definitely not a pyromaniac :)” under blurry photos of their flats. Ominis hadn’t expected anything to come of his own post — Seeking flatmate, must be tidy, quiet, and okay with a blind roommate — but he’d written it anyway, hoping the universe might be kind for once.
Sebastian had replied within twenty minutes.
His message had been short, enthusiastic, and punctuated by far too many exclamation points. Hi! I’m Sebastian. Your place looks great. I kinda suck at cooking, but I can clean, and I’ve lived with a visually impaired cousin before so accessibility stuff is no problem. Would love to meet in person if you’re up for it!
Ominis had almost deleted it on the spot. People always claimed familiarity, as if one distant relative or one volunteer shift made them experts. But something, maybe the earnestness, maybe the lack of pity, made him agree to meet.
They talked for an hour. Then two. Their tea grew cold, the other customers in the coffee shop came and went. By the time they walked back to Ominis’ flat so Sebastian could “get a sense of the layout,” something in Ominis’ chest had already begun to unravel.
Moving in together felt inevitable after that.
Within weeks they had a rhythm: shared breakfasts, overlapping study sessions, late-night conversations across the hallway. Of course, because Ominis had always (despite his strenuous efforts) had terrible self-preservation, it was also inevitable that he fell in love with Sebastian too.
It was just too easy. Sebastian’s voice was warm, like honey, low and comfortable. He hadn’t lied about the blind cousin; within a few days he’d gotten used to casually announcing his presence by marking his footsteps, handed Ominis his teacup with the handle pointed to him, never switched up the order in the cupboard or the placement of cutlery. He argued with Ominis about movies, about celebrities and coursework. Brought takeaway home for the both of them, or bags overloaded with groceries so they could cook together (meaning Ominis would cook and Sebastian would sit on the kitchen island and pester him). From what Ominis had heard, Sebastian was quite good-looking too. Not that it mattered too much to Ominis, but it still made his heart flutter everytime Sebastian turned down an invite to a party or class hangout to stay at home with Ominis and cook and drink wine and bicker about board games.
“You don’t need to,” Ominis always said when Sebastian off-handedly mentioned it. “I can do just fine on my own for one evening. Go out and have fun.”
“See, you tell me to have fun, but you don’t realise the most fun I have with is when I’m with you.”
And that was the end of that.
Ominis only followed a handful of subreddits. One for visually impaired people living in central London, and another for visually impaired people in general. Both forums tended to revolve around accessibility issues, which films were good or terrible for blind and visually impaired audiences, which places were properly adapted and which weren’t, ableist incidents and so on. Beyond those, he followed a subreddit for his favourite film series, another for cooking, a general “no stupid questions” community, and one for “relationship advice”.
Reddit was his guilty pleasure. He had no other social media apps; no Instagram, Facebook or Snapchat, a fact he prided himself on. But one day he’d googled something and fell into the rabbit hole of a Reddit thread, and then he’d downloaded the app itself. He never posted himself, but he liked scrolling through them whenever he had a spare moment. Reading about unfortunate girlfriends who refused to accept that their boyfriends were blatantly cheating on them. Skimming through yet another furious review of the ending of his favourite film. People who had clearly received such abysmal sex education in school that, at thirty, they understood their own anatomy with the insight of a toddler.
Today, Ominis had the day off. He was supposed to use the free time to write on an essay, and he had done so for the better part of the morning. When lunch arrived he’d microwaved some leftovers, cleaned the flat, folded some laundry and showered. It was now nearing 5PM and despite having had a rather relaxed day, he felt tired.
Sebastian always had late classes on Thursdays, and Ominis had decided to grant himself half an hour of idle browsing before starting dinner for the two of them. He stretched out on the sofa with a cup of tea within reach and picked up his phone, slipping in an AirPod. His screen-reader guided him to Reddit, and he began working his way through the titles.
“Posted in: r/NoStupidQuestions. User: daedaliankey. I [21M] have this strange sort of loose skin around my penis that I can pull back and forth. Is this normal?”
He skipped that one.
“Posted in: r/relationship_advice. User: hiddenmoonstone. I [19F] and my boyfriend [34M]. He refuses to let me come to his place. Am I right to be upset?”
He let the screen-reader read out the post, shaking his head at the poor girl who was clearly being groomed by an older, married man without realising it.
“Posted in: r/Cooking. User: asnitchforlasagna. I’m out of baking powder. Can I use baking soda instead?”
“Posted in: r/VisuallyImpairedLondon. User: afieldpage. The new restaurant on the square is ABLEIST!”
“Posted in: r/Relationship_Advice. User: [sallowsun]. I [21M] am in love with my blind flatmate [21M]. I don’t want to ruin our relationship. What should I do?”
“Posted in: r/VisuallyImpairedLondon. User: professionalfister. Tips for good screen-reader sites that—”
Ominis cut off the screen-reader and scrolled back up.
“Posted in: r/Relationship_Advice. User: [sallowsun]. I [21M] am in love with my blind flatmate [21M]. I don’t want to ruin our relationship. What should I do?”
Ominis froze.
It was just a coincidence. And, realistically, a fairly likely one. Reddit had more than a million users; people posted about their problems all the time. Of course there were other pairs of twenty-one-year-old male flatmates, one of whom happened to be blind.
But still.
He tapped into the post.
“Hi everyone! I’ve got a bit of a problem and could really use some advice and thoughts from people who’ve been in similar situations. All the names will be fake.
I [21M] am currently studying at university. At the start of term, I moved in with my current flatmate [21M]. Let’s call him Oliver. We found each other on a forum for people looking for housemates, and decided to rent a two-bed together. It’s going really well. A bit too well, actually. Oliver is… perfect. He’s funny, clever and genuinely intelligent. He’s always supportive and listens to me when I’m sad, happy, or just need to vent. And he never hesitates to tell me when I’m being an idiot, or to challenge me in an intense debate.
He’s also, of course, the perfect flatmate. He’s quiet and tidy without being distant. He washes up after himself and often cooks for both of us. (Before anyone comes for me: I’m terrible at cooking! It’s for everyone’s sake that he’s the one in the kitchen. I make up for it by doing the shopping and reviewing his cooking like he’s on MasterChef.) We share responsibility for bins and cleaning, and it all works brilliantly.
On top of that, he’s a proper friend. We can stay up for hours talking about a film we’ve just watched or teasing each other about something embarrassing that happened that day. Whenever I see something funny or have something happen to me, he’s the first person I want to tell. Honestly, the best moment of my day is coming home and hearing him in our flat. I don’t think I’ve ever felt so safe and calm with anyone, except maybe my sister. He truly is my best friend.
Which brings me to the problem. I have no idea if he feels the same. He seems to enjoy spending time with me, and we often stay in together on weekends and do things just the two of us. He also hasn’t dated anyone in ages. But that doesn’t have to mean anything.
And then there’s another thing: he’s blind. That in itself is absolutely not an issue, but because we live together, I’m worried he might feel uncomfortable or dependent on me if I confess. He’s very independent, but sometimes he might need a bit of help when there’s some PDF file that isn't made accessible or roadwork on our usual route or something like that. But he’s mentioned before that he’s had friends or flatmates who weren’t very respectful about his visual impairment, and I don’t want to turn into one of those.
We work so well together; I’m already used to everything having braille stickers and occasionally guiding him when needed. And that’s exactly why I don’t want to mess anything up. I know he isn’t actually dependent on me, but I’m scared things will become awkward if I admit how I feel. And that he, in turn, might feel exposed, since he does trust me and relies on me to some extent.
Reddit, what should I do?”
Ominis sat frozen as the screen-reader began rattling through the comments. He caught snippets here and there, advice ranging from “confess! The worst that can happen is he says no,” to “don’t say anything! It would be selfish to confess and put him in a position where he has to choose between his supportive flatmate and his feelings.”
It couldn’t be him. It couldn’t…
But so much lined up. The way they met. Their ages. That one of them was blind. That they were both university students. Their dynamic, the way they worked so well together. The fact that Ominis did most of the cooking while Sebastian handled the shopping.
But if it was him… then that meant…
Impossible.
Sebastian hadn’t acted in any way that suggested he thought of Ominis as anything more than a friend. Not that Ominis could recall, anyway. Yes, Sebastian always sounded pleased when he saw him, and disappointed when Ominis said goodnight early on a Friday or mentioned he’d be home late and wouldn’t be eating with him.
But that wasn’t strange. As Sebastian wrote in the post, they were good friends. They liked spending time together. Of course Sebastian sounded delighted when Ominis suggested a Friday film night, or when they cooked together on Saturdays. And besides, Ominis was blind, so it wasn’t odd that Sebastian sometimes touched him a little more; a steadying hand at the small of his back when crowds got too tight; a hand on his shoulder when he misjudged a distance and nearly walked into a doorframe.
On top of that, Sebastian was simply a considerate person by nature. Ominis knew that from watching him with his sister: always bringing her favourite sweets, or avoiding cleaning products that made her nose itch when she would come over. The time a woman on the Tube couldn’t pay for her ticket and Sebastian tapped his card for her without a second thought. When Poppy had found a stray cat in the middle of the night and Sebastian drove over with cat food, blankets, and a collar to help her catch it.
Ominis wasn’t getting special treatment. When Sebastian picked up his white cane and predicted whether Ominis wanted the rolling tip or the visibility cane that day. When Ominis had his worst weekday — Tuesdays, with back-to-back lectures taught by his most unbearable professor and such a short lunch break he barely had time to inhale a sandwich — Sebastian would turn up with Ominis’ favourite pastries as a surprise. When he switched on audio description for films, or quietly narrated scenes for Ominis without being asked.
All of that was just how Sebastian was. It meant nothing.
A key turned in the lock and Ominis jolted. He fumbled for his phone, which had gone dark ages ago, and the screen-reader informed him it was nearly half six. Bloody hell. He’d been so deep in his spiral he’d entirely forgotten about dinner. Quickly, he saved the post and pulled out his airpods, popping them back into their case.
He pushed himself up, swaying a little as his body protested the sudden movement, and hurried into the kitchen.
“Hello.”
As always, Sebastian’s voice washed through him like warm, smooth honey. Ominis tried to sound normal when he replied:
“In here!”
He scrambled to remember what he’d planned to cook. He’d had a plan. What was it?
Sebastian stepped into the kitchen.
“You look like you’ve just realised you left your baby on the bus,” he commented with a chuckle.
Ominis turned towards him, guilty. “I completely forgot about dinner. Sorry— I’ll get started now.”
“No need,” Sebastian said, this time sounding a bit sheepish himself. “There was roadwork on the way to the lecture halls, so I took a detour. I passed an Indian place I’ve never seen before, and it smelled so good I couldn’t help myself.”
The rustle of a paper bag reached him. Sebastian began unpacking something, and the scent of curry and spices spread through the kitchen.
“Right,” Sebastian said, sounding pleased with himself as he set the warm containers on the counter. “I got us chicken korma, saag paneer, pilau rice, and garlic naan.” A pause, then a rustle. “And I made sure to get you the korma without coriander. I know you don’t like it.”
Ominis froze for half a heartbeat. He kept his expression neutral, but something tugged in his chest.
“Oh,” he said, hoping the single syllable didn’t sound as startled as he felt. “Thank you.”
“Of course,” Sebastian replied lightly. ”I mean, it tastes like soap to you. No point ruining dinner over a leaf.”
He said it so casually; as if memorising the things Ominis liked and disliked came as naturally to him as breathing. As if noticing the minute details of Ominis’ life wasn’t something special — it was simply what you did for someone you cared about.
Ominis reached for the plates, focusing on the simple routine of setting the table. Anything to steady himself.
Sebastian moved around him, opening containers and narrating by habit. “Naan’s at your left. Rice is just above it. The curry’s a bit to your right. Careful, it’s hot.”
“I know,” Ominis mumbled.
They fell into their usual rhythm: Ominis laying out cutlery, Sebastian pouring water; their arms brushing once, twice, each time sending a stupid little spark through him. It shouldn’t feel different. It shouldn’t feel new. Sebastian had always been like this. Thoughtful, attentive, maddeningly kind.
But now, after that Reddit post…
They sat down. Ominis smoothed his hands over his thighs, wiping away some palm sweat. Sebastian settled opposite him with a contented sigh.
“Right,” he said cheerfully. “Moment of truth. If this place is rubbish, it’s not my fault. The smell seduced me.”
Ominis picked up his fork. “You don’t have to worry. You always pick good places.”
They separated their food, the clink of cutlery filling the small space between them. Ominis took a bite of the korma. It was mild, creamy, just the right amount of spice.
“Good?” Sebastian asked.
“Very,” Ominis said. And the, before he could stop himself: “Too bad I didn’t cook though; you won’t get to review it like you’re on Masterchef.”
The sound of clinking cutlery stopped. Ominis’ heart skipped a beat. He held his breath, feeling like he’d been caught red-handed. He still hadn’t quite had time to process the Reddit post and whether or not he should confront Sebastian about it.
Sebastian was quiet a second too long before he slowly said:
”Yeah, I guess.” His voice lingered in a strange way, almost warily. Ominis cursed himself and his slip-up. Quickly, he stuffed a piece of naan into his mouth just to stop any more idiocy from escaping.
The rest of the dinner passed, with their light chatter eventually returning. Still, he swore he could feel Sebastian’s suspicion linger in the air, and in his attempts to act normal, he acted even stranger than usual. Misjudged the distance to his wine glass and nearly knocked it over when reaching for it. Forgot the number of steps between the table and the kitchen counter, banging his hip on the edge when they cleared the table. His voice cracked so violently when Sebastian asked how his day had been that he sounded like he was back in Year Nine.
“By the way,” Sebastian said casually as they stood side by side drying plates with tea towels (and Ominis tried very hard not to overthink the domesticity of it), “I told you earlier there was roadwork on the way to the university, right?”
Ominis nodded.
“I don’t start until 9:30 tomorrow, but I thought I could walk with you anyway. I can use the extra hour to sit in the library and get some reading done. If I stay home, I’ll just loaf around in bed and scroll Reddit.”
Ominis nearly dropped his plate. He managed to catch it at the last possible second, the dish clattering sharply against the metal sink. So much for behaving normally.
“Yes,” he said, masking his panic with a cough. “Exactly. Reddit, am I right.”
“Hm.” Sebastian shifted next to him. “You use it too?”
“No,” Ominis said, a bit too quickly. He reached for the tap again, fumbling before he found the handle, turning the water back on purely to have something to do with his hands.
“Anyway,” Sebastian continued, raising his voice over the rush of water, “I just thought it might help to have the extra guidance. From what I saw, the whole road’s blocked off, so you basically have to take a full-on side quest through some little neighbourhood and a back alley to get to campus.”
“Sure,” Ominis said. And then — because apparently he possessed absolutely zero functioning brain cells today — he added, “But don’t feel pressured. I really appreciate everything you do for me, but I don’t want you to think I feel dependent on you. I manage fine on my own.”
Fuck.
This time, the suspicion in Sebastian’s silence was unmistakable.
“I know you don’t need me,” he said at last, slow and careful. “I was just… making a suggestion.”
Well. Double fuck. At this rate, the Reddit post would stop being a concern entirely; Ominis was sabotaging any possible feelings Sebastian might’ve had all on his own. With a heavy sigh, he folded the tea towel and put it back in its proper place.
”Sorry. I didn’t mean it like that. I just don’t want you to feel obligated to help me. But if you don’t mind, I’d love to walk to campus with you.”
"... Alright then. Leave at 8:15 tomorrow?"
"Sounds fine to me."
Ominis quickly wiped down the table with a damp cloth and put the leftovers in the fridge. He could feel Sebastian's eyes on him though, especially when he squeaked something about going to bed early and slamming his shoulder into the doorframe while exiting the kitchen.
Later, in the safety of his own bedroom, Ominis curled up in bed and popped in one Airpod. Closing his eyes, he pulled up the Reddit post again, but this time he tried to pretend it was Sebastian’s smooth, soft voice instead of the emotionless screenreader.
”Oliver is… perfect. He’s funny, clever and genuinely intelligent. He’s always supportive and listens to me when I’m sad, happy, or just need to vent. And he never hesitates to tell me when I’m being an idiot, or to challenge me in an intense debate.”
”On top of that, he’s a proper friend. We can stay up for hours talking about a film we’ve just watched or teasing each other about something embarrassing that happened that day.”
Ominis was already turning on voice dictation and drafting a comment before he even realised what he was doing.
”secret_snake394: are you certain he doesn’t feel the same? Have you tried talking to him about it?”
And then, like some mortifying schoolgirl cliché he squeaked, nearly flung his phone across the room, and buried his burning face in his pillow.
What had he done.
He lay awake long that night, listening to Sebastian shuffle around in his room before it eventually grew quiet in the flat.
When his alarm chimed the next morning, he groggily reached for his phone and allowed it to read him his notifications.
”7:14 A.M. Friday, November 16th.
You have two new text messages.
You have one new notification from: Reddit.
No missed calls.
Today’s first event: Seminar at 8:30 A.M.
Weather: 12 degrees, clear skies. High of 17 expected today.
Battery: 62 percent.
One app update available.”
He sucked in a sharp breath, praying Sebastian hadn’t heard the robotic voice drone on. From down the hall, he could make out the soft movements of his flatmate in the bathroom, followed by the shower sputtering to life.
He felt for his airpod case, found it and propped one in before he dared to open the Reddit notification.
”Reply from: sallowsun. Haha. While I hope so, I also highly doubt it. He’s never given me any indication that he likes me as more than a friend. Which also is grounds for my hesitation, I guess.”
”nearlyheadlessnobody replied to sallowsun: i also choose this guy’s blind flatmate.”
”ancientmagicwielder replied to sallowsun: honestly I wouldn’t say anything. its also so typical for gays to assume every other guy is gay just because you live together.”
”shopdontstop replied to ancientmagicwielder: this is not true at all. at no point did OP refer to their sexuality as an question, thus implying that the sexuality itself is not a problem. y’all just wanna hate.”
Ominis took out the airpod. He could hear Sebastian humming to himself in the shower. Popping it back in, he ignored the replies to Sebastian’s comment and wrote his own.
”secret_snake394: i understand your hesitation but i would still say it might be worth a shot. judging by the way you describe your friendship, it sounds like it isn’t impossible he reciprocates your feelings either.”
He hesitated, then edited the comment and added: “You seem like a very kind and helpful flatmate. I don’t think he’d take offense, even if he doesn’t reciprocate your feelings.”
Before he could make any more disastrous life choices online, he shut the app and pushed himself upright in bed. Only then did he remember that he and Sebastian were meant to walk to campus together. The thought alone sent a warm, traitorous bloom through his chest.
”You look nice,” Sebastian commented when he walked into the kitchen. Ominis sat by the kitchen island. A scent of shampoo and hot water wafted into the room. Ominis hid behind his mug of tea to conceal the blush that appeared on his cheeks. So maybe he had chosen that dark grey jumper that Garreth said made him look like ”a light academia slut”. And maybe he had carefully styled his hair to give it that casually messy look, with one loose strand falling across his forehead. He preferred his hair slicked back, but Garreth had told him that messy hair made him look ”newly fucked”.
”Thank you,” he croaked, disguising his hoarse voice by pretending he’d choked a little on the tea.
Sebastian began whistling as he moved around the kitchen, pouring himself a cup of tea while Ominis fought the urge to open his stupid mouth and say things like, Hey, have you been posting on Reddit lately? or You wouldn’t happen to be in love with me, would you?
”Sorry, just need to grab…”
Ominis leaned to the side as Sebastian reached for something across the kitchen island. Something warm and soft brushed against his hand and he jerked, nearly spilling his tea: Sebastian was still only wearing a towel, his naked chest brushing against Ominis’ hand again when he pulled back whatever he had reached for. Ominis couldn’t even bring himself to try and detect what Sebastian had grabbed, too focused on not hyperventilating.
This was going to be a spectacular morning.
The crisp morning air helped Ominis sober up a little. Sebastian pressed his folded cane into his hand, and Ominis snapped it out to its full length before finding Sebastian’s arm with the other. As they set off down the pavement, their conversation drifted easily between their classes for the day, whether the ridiculous roadworks were actually going to fix the canyon-sized potholes, and what they ought to make for dinner later.
“You’re eating at home tonight, hm?” Sebastian asked as they stepped onto a temporary metal platform bridging the churned-up road.
Ominis hesitated. The Reddit post flashed through his mind, the bit where Sebastian had written that the best part of his day was coming home to see him. Clearing his throat, he said, “I was thinking I might stay late and study in the library.”
There was a heavy, disappointed silence. Then, Sebastian said, with a voice that didn’t seem nearly as light as he tried to make it out to:
”Ah. Good idea.”
The dejection in his voice curled uncomfortably in Ominis’ stomach. Before he could stop himself, he blurted, “You can stay too, if you’d like. I don’t mind a study partner.”
Sebastian’s entire demeanour brightened at once. “Alright! Maybe I can even bring some food, like a study date.”
Ominis’ mind promptly snagged on that one word. Date. Surely he hadn’t meant that sort of date; he’d said study date, as in something you did with friends. A normal meetup. A totally neutral phrase. Meaningless. Just Sebastian being Sebastian.
He realised he’d been silent too long when Sebastian cleared his throat and muttered:
“Sorry. Maybe I shouldn’t have said that.”
“No!” Ominis lurched forward in his haste, immediately misjudged the step, and nearly tripped. Sebastian caught him with a firm hand at the small of his back, steadying him — something that did absolutely nothing to soften the frantic pounding of Ominis’ heart.
“I only meant… it’s fine,” Ominis said, trying again. “It can be a study date, I suppose. Though you’ll have to be discreet; Madam Scribner can smell a sandwich from the fourth floor.”
Sebastian puffed out his chest. “No worries. I’m an expert at outmanoeuvring that old hag.”
Ominis huffed a laugh and shook his head. “That’s because you’re an incorrigible young reprobate.”
“And I pride myself on it.”
As students trickled into the classroom, chatting about the cold weather and the atrocious homework due today, Ominis pulled out his airpods and opened Reddit again. Sebastian had already replied, but not in the comment thread. It was a direct message.
Ominis nearly held his breath as he read it:
“sallowsun: hey. sorry for contacting you here. I just feel like the comment threads are too crazy haha, you can’t write anything without people jumping to such bizarre conclusions.
but yeah, maybe you’re right. sometimes you just have to take a chance. we’re studying together in the library tonight. i suggested it as a “study date” and he went quiet. i don’t know if that’s a good or a bad reaction.”
Ominis bit his lip. He didn’t want to dictate aloud in the classroom, but typing on the phone keyboard took ages. He opened his laptop, carefully lowering the brightness so no one behind him could see, and pulled up his braille keyboard.
“secret_snake394: it’s fine! i get it, haha. anyways. it could be that he thought you meant it as, like, a normal meet-up between friends, and he was hoping for something more, and that’s why he went quiet. he wasn’t sure how to react because he didn’t know how you meant it.”
The reply came almost immediately.
“sallowsun: yeah, maybe. i don’t know why it’s so hard to talk to him. i can talk to him about literally anything else, no problem, but the moment I even consider getting close to mentioning my feelings, I freeze."
Ominis felt as though he were doing something forbidden, something that wasn’t entirely morally right. And yet, his curiosity won the inner battle, and he typed a reply.
Two lectures later, with lunch fast approaching, their message thread had grown significantly. Ominis was one of the few students allowed to use his airpods during class, and while Professor Ronen droned on, thinking Ominis had one earbud in to listen to the course material, he was actually texting Sebastian at high speed. Or, well, “sallow sun.”
If Ominis had harbored any doubt about the user’s identity, it had vanished by now. The longer they talked, the more apparent it became that it was Sebastian. His texting style mirrored the way he spoke: genuine, excited, occasionally sheepish. And, of course, there was the username. Ominis hadn’t caught it at first, but now he remembered how people used to refer to the twins; Sebastian as the sun, Anne as the moon. Sebastian was bright, energetic, endlessly optimistic; Anne was more thoughtful, calm, and a touch cynical.
secret_snake394: i completely understand. sometimes, when the feelings feel like they're going to take over your whole chest, you think "okay let's just do it, how hard can it be". then you actually meet them and hear their voice and the air just gets stuck in your throat, the words stuck on your tongue. they're there, within reach, but suddenly you don't know how to reach for them.
sallowsun: exactly!!!!!!!!!
sallowsun: man you really nailed it
sallowsun: throw in some hand sweat and literal butterflies in my stomach bc everytime i see him, i feel like i'm going to die. in the best possible way
secret_snake394: that’s really sweet. I understand your hesitation, but considering how strong your feelings are, I can’t help but wonder if it might be worth confessing after all.
sallowsun: ugghhhhh i know you and like, all the other 900 comments are right, but im just so scared i'll lose him ... i think i would die if he broke off our friendship
secret_snake394: I totally understand why you’re scared. But if your connection is as strong as it sounds, I don’t think even romantic feelings could ruin the friendship you have. at worst, things might be awkward temporarily, but you come across as very respectful and thoughtful, and I’m confident you could both work through it.
sallowsun: ugh
sallowsun: thank you
sallowsun: you feel pretty easy to talk to. Do you have experience with this sort of thing?
secret_snake394: haha. you could say i do.
sallowsun: oooo tell me!
secret_snake394: no. this post was about you.
sallowsun: fine. im never going to pass up on an opportunity to wax poetics about the way his hair glows like a halo or how his smile feels like sinking into a warm bath after a snowball fight
sallowsun: it's so ironic. i can charm the librarian or the lunch ladies or the bus driver into letting me ride for free, but i can’t tell my best mate that i’ve been in love with him basically since the first second we met.”
Ominis nearly dropped his phone. In the first post, Sebastian hadn’t said a word about how long he’d felt this way; Ominis had assumed it was a recent development. But apparently, Sebastian had fallen just as fast as he had. He didn't have time to write a reply, though. Class had ended and he packed up his computer, following the throng of students into the hall while he listened to Sebastian's replies on his phone again.
“Ominis!”
He shoved his phone into his pocket, airpods and all, and turned around with a face that practically screamed guilty. He attempted a brave smile, which probably looked more like a grimace, as Sebastian approached.
“Don’t you have a lecture now?” Ominis asked, raising an eyebrow.
“Professor Binns cancelled. Which is honestly for the best. I’d have fallen asleep anyway. Thought I’d come have lunch with you.”
Ominis, who had planned to spend lunch alone wallowing in self-pity and indecision — and maybe listening to the part of the post where Sebastian said the best part of his day was seeing him — gave another grimace of a smile.
“Fun.”
“Wait here.” Sebastian guided Ominis to an empty table and practically pushed him into the chair before disappearing.
“Am I not allowed to order for myself?” Ominis called after him.
“No!” Sebastian’s voice came from somewhere across the cafeteria.
Ominis listened closely. The queue sounded long; it was the middle of the lunch rush, after all. He pulled out his phone and opened Reddit, dictating quickly:
“secret_snake394: flirting with librarians and bus drivers? what an incorrigible reprobate you are. hard to believe you’d struggle flirting with your flatmate, then. pretend he’s an old bus driver or a wrinkly old lady and you’ll manage just fine.”
“What are you doing?”
Ominis slammed his phone face-down on the table.
“Nothing.”
“You were dictating a message, I heard you. Who are you chatting with?”
Ominis scowled, trying desperately to suppress the panicked blush crawling up his cheeks.
“No one.”
“Are you sexting someone?”
Sebastian’s voice was relaxed, but Ominis could hear something underneath it. Something probing, questioning.
“What? No! Do you honestly think I’d sext someone in the university cafeteria?”
A plastic tray nudged his hands where they rested on the table. He reached out and found a packaged baguette and a bottle.
“I don’t know,” Sebastian said. “Maybe you find chicken baguettes and lemon sparkling water arousing.”
“How am I supposed to know whether I like that before I know that’s what you bought me?”
“Because you always get a chicken baguette and lemon sparkling water, but only on the days they make the curry-free version. Which happens to be today. You’re welcome, by the way.”
And there it was again. Sebastian remembering Ominis’ orders, what he liked and disliked, and picking it up without even needing to ask. Ominis fumbled with the baguette just to have something to do and found the wrapper already opened slightly at one end, making it easier for him to grab. Sebastian thought of everything.
In a desperate attempt to act normal, he said:
“I’m not sexting anyone, or messaging anyone at all for that matter — except you. I don’t use any of those social media apps.”
“No, I know,” Sebastian said, taking a large bite of his own sandwich. He continued talking while chewing, and Ominis rolled his eyes. He’d long since given up trying to correct Sebastian’s table manners. “And it’s a tragedy. Do you know how many funny Tiktoks I see every day where I think, ‘Oh, Ominis would’ve loved this’?”
“Ignoring the fact that I can’t see them,” Ominis said dryly, “I’m still not interested in gen-z brainrot with people wiggling their hips and making hand gestures and thinking it constitutes a form of dance.”
“You’re so boring.”
“I’m blind.”
“Do you have to be boring because of it?”
“Having morals and standards is not the same as being boring.”
“Okay, Your Majesty of Morals and Standards. Do you want to hear the drama from my group project? We have a text thread and it’s absolutely insane. Wait, I’ll read it—”
The sound of Sebastian unlocking his phone was heard, and Ominis listened patiently. Except Sebastian didn’t say anything else. After a minute or so, Ominis grew impatient.
“Well? What heinous crime have your classmates committed now?”
Sebastian jerked, hitting his elbow against the table.
“What? Sorry, I got distracted. I got a notification from my… my professor. About my submission.”
“Oh, you had a submission? How did it go?”
“Good!” Sebastian’s voice sounded oddly strained. Ominis frowned.
“Are you sure?”
“Yep!” Sebastian replied quickly. “Okay, listen. Yesterday at six I texted asking if we should check in about the group project today. Two hours later Leander replies that—”
Ominis yawned and stretched. His back popped. He had been sitting in front of his computer for almost two hours now, taking notes while listening to his screenreader read aloud a PDF version of their course book. As usual, Sebastian had been successful in his antics: on the table between them sat a bag of candy — of course filled with all of Ominis’ favourites — and some fruit. Madam Scribner hated when students ate in the library, which Ominis could understand to a degree, but how was anyone supposed to study without getting some fruit sugar and hydration?
Sebastian sat beside him, probably with his feet up on the table, flipping aimlessly through his own course book. Ominis wasn’t entirely sure what he was studying, but he’d been so absorbed in his own work that he wasn’t surprised.
“I need the loo,” Ominis said, standing up. His legs protested too. “Otherwise I’ll fuse with this chair.”
Sebastian made a noise. “Use the toilet on the floor below. I saw the one here was out of order.” He hesitated a second, then asked, “Need help getting there?”
Ominis pulled his cane out of his bag and unfolded it. “No thanks.” He had spent hours in this library and knew every floor inside and out. Since he only needed to pee, he left his phone on the table and disappeared between the shelves.
Almost ten minutes later he returned to Sebastian, now with more energy after splashing water on his face in the bathroom and stretching his limbs a bit.
“How’s it going for you?” he asked, feeling for the back of his chair, finding it, pulling it out, and sitting. He folded the cane again and placed it back in his bag.
Instead of launching into a rant about how homework was just teachers’ way of punishing students for their sins, or how the author of the book was probably born in the Middle Ages, Sebastian said:
“What is this?”
Ominis frowned. There was something in Sebastian’s voice, something he hadn’t heard before. Anger, almost. Panic. Accusation.
“What do you mean?”
“That thing on your phone.”
Ominis reached for the phone where he had last left it on the table, but didn’t find it, and realised Sebastian had taken it.
“I don’t know,” he said, a bit irritated. “If you haven’t noticed, I can’t see what you’re pointing at.”
Sebastian cleared his throat, not as if he needed to, but more like he was about to deliver the condemning verdict in a court case.
“Allow me to be your screenreader. New notification from Reddit. Six twenty-six p.m. Sallowsun has replied sent you a private message.”
Ominis’ whole back went cold. He froze.
“I…” he tried, but there was no point denying it: he knew instantly that his reaction said enough. “I just…”
“Don’t have social media?” Sebastian said, almost mockingly. “Don’t do those sorts of things? Don’t ‘write to incorrigible reprobates’?”
Ominis fumbled for something to say, knowing he was sitting there helplessly with nothing to defend himself with.
“It was just… I only wanted to—”
“You know, I had my suspicions. When you referred to all these things, like Masterchef and the roadwork, that I wrote in the post. But I chalked it up to a coincidence. And then you acted all secretive, hiding your phone and what you were writing about, but I just assumed you were like, buying me a Christmas gift or something. But then you called me an ‘incorrigible reprobate’, just like you did this morning, and it all slotted into place. And then I saw your phone light up with the notification the second I wrote a reply.”
Ominis licked his lips.
Fuck. He had not accounted for this outcome. Frankly, he’d hoped he would be able to anonymously cheer Sebastian on and get him to confess his feelings first. “I just wanted to …”
“Wanted to what? Mess with my feelings? Thought it was funny to chat with me online when I didn’t know it was you, but you knew it was me?”
“You listed our real ages, my disability, and how we met, in your post!” Ominis burst out. “Your username is even ‘sallow.’ How would I not notice?”
“Oh, I don’t know, maybe by talking to me in real life instead of playing anonymous online and making me chat with you like an idiot, thinking I was confiding in some supportive stranger?”
Sebastian’s angry tone made Ominis tense up too, defensive.
“Oh, you want to talk about handling things in real life? Why didn’t you say anything about your feelings, oh, I don’t know, maybe when they first appeared? Instead of writing out half our private lives on Reddit?”
He became aware they were speaking very loudly for a library and lowered his voice. “You describe me as if I’ve structured my whole life around you. As if I’d be left helplessly choosing between my sighted guide or my friend if you confessed.”
“That’s not what I meant, and you know it.” Sebastian still sounded angry, but he lowered his voice too. “And you should know, considering you read my post and apparently memorised every detail of it. I didn’t dare say anything. You’re my best friend. I didn’t want to ruin that.”
Ominis threw up his hands, nearly knocking a book off the table.
“And you should know, considering you read my comments, that it might not be impossible that he — I — feels the same!”
Sebastian froze. For a few seconds, he was silent, breath heavy.
“I… do you mean that?”
Ominis rolled his eyes, irritated and fond all at once.
“Sebastian, please. You’re not the only one who’s been in love with your flatmate practically since the day we moved in.”
For a beat, there was only stunned silence. Then Sebastian shot to his feet so abruptly the chair scraped back and Ominis flinched. Something snapped shut — the laptop — and a second object that sounded like a book hit the table with a dull thud. Before Ominis could register any of it, Sebastian’s fingers closed around his wrist, tugging him upward.
“Sebastian — what—”
Sebastian didn’t answer, just pulled him along. Ominis stumbled, unable to grab his cane in time, forced to follow blindly as Sebastian towed him away.A door screeched on its hinges; cold air brushed his skin as they crossed a threshold. Sebastian shoved the door shut behind them with a hurried thump.
“Where are we?” Ominis asked, breath unsteady. The room echoed faintly, hollow, and the sharp tang of chlorine and old drains told him everything he needed a second before Sebastian confirmed it.
“The out-of-order loo. Ominis, did you mean it?”
Ominis cleared his throat, feeling Sebastian’s intense gaze.
“Mean what?”
“Don’t play dumb.” Sebastian sounded impatient again. “What you said. You… like me too?”
It felt like standing at the edge of a cliff. He couldn’t see the drop, but he could feel it: the vastness, the danger, the fall waiting beneath if he stepped forward. His pulse hammered. He took a deep breath.
“Of course I do.”
He barely finished the word before Sebastian’s hands found his face, cupping his cheeks with almost reverent urgency, pulling him into a fierce, breath-stealing kiss.
Ominis stiffened in pure shock, then melted instantly. Sebastian pressed against him, pulled back for a breath, then kissed him again.
It was… too much. In the best possible way. Sebastian tasted like orange candy and lemon sparkling water and Sebastian.
Sebastian broke the kiss only long enough to murmur, breathless, “God — Ominis,” before kissing him again, slower this time, thumb brushing over Ominis’ cheekbone.
Ominis gripped the front of Sebastian’s jumper, to ground himself or pull Sebastian closer, he wasn’t sure. Sebastian laughed softly into the kiss, slid his hands down to Ominis’ waist.
“Come here,” he breathed, and guided Ominis backwards until Ominis’ hips bumped the sink. He hissed at the cold porcelain. Sebastian swallowed the sound with another kiss, lifted him easily, and helped him sit on the edge of the sink before stepping between his knees.
Ominis felt his heart slam against his ribs. Felt Sebastian’s palms slide up his sides. Felt Sebastian’s breath hitch as Ominis’ hands found his shoulders, then the back of his neck.
Then Sebastian kissed him again, deeper, softer, like he’d been waiting months for this exact moment.
When they finally pulled apart, both breathing hard, Sebastian rested his forehead against Ominis’.
“Next time,” he murmured, voice low and rough in a way that made Ominis’ stomach lurch pleasantly, “how about we just… talk to each other?”
“Technically,” Ominis said, far too dazed to muster any true bite, “I did talk to you. You just didn’t know it was me.”
“That’s because you’ve spent months insisting you’re too proper and posh to use such nefarious sites as Reddit.” Sebastian’s exasperation was fond. “Forgive me for assuming it was a safe space.”
“Next time, maybe switch up some details so it’s not so obvious?” Ominis suggested, grinning. “Alter the ages, the background story or some other detail. Even your username had your last name in it. Not a very bright sun, huh?”
Sebastian groaned. “Oh, piss off, you secret snake. Your username was fitting, by the way — slithering into my thread, acting all innocent and helpful. I thought you were just some anonymous Redditor egging me on because they wanted a spicy update.”
“Well…” Ominis slid his arms around Sebastian’s neck, pulling him down into another slow, luxuriant kiss, marvelling at the fact that he was allowed to do this now, “consider this a spicy update.”
Sebastian let out a soft, content sigh against his mouth — until Ominis suddenly stiffened and pulled back.
“Sebastian Sallow,” he said sharply, “if my computer and braille keyboard are stolen when we get back…”
Sebastian snorted. “They’ll be fine. Probably.”
Ominis scowled. "You better hope. That keyboard is expensive."
"Mmm, what do you use it for?" Sebastian swept in for another kiss, lightly nibbling on Ominis' bottom lip before pulling away. "Misleading poor blokes who just want some honest advice on their love life?"
"You ended up here, so I'm not sure I'd call it misleading," Ominis corrected him. "And I'm serious. If my computer gets stolen because you can't keep it in your trousers, I'm actually going to sue you."
(His computer, keyboard and Sebastian's books were still there when they stumbled out of the bathroom twenty minutes later, hair ruffled and cheeks rosy. Madam Scribner rounded the corner just as they sat down, and Ominis knew her hawk-like eyes were darting between the bag of sweets and the hickey he could feel blooming on his throat.
"Mr Sallow," she said, voice so tired she sounded seconds away from an early grave. "Do you want to be banned from the library?")
“Posted in: r/Relationship_Advice. User: [sallowsun]. UPDATE: I [21M] am in love with my blind flatmate [21M]. I don’t want to ruin our relationship. What should I do?”
Hey guys! Not sure if updates are allowed, but I’ll try. There is a link to my original post [here]. But the TL;DR is basically: he found my post, acted as an anonymous commenter cheering me on, I found out it was him, we had a minor fight and then a major makout session now.
Turns out he was also in love with me since, basically the first day we met. We’re together now and I’m currently packing up my stuff to move into his room. We’re going to turn my room into a study room/office/guest room. Thank you to everyone who commented, even to those of you who discouraged me from confessing. Not going to post another update after this but since so many of you were helpful and supportive, I thought I owed you the happy ending. Take care!”
secret_snake394 commented: Get off the Internet and get started on dinner, love. I’ll be home early today.
sallowsun replied: yay!