Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Everything from the cloudy sky to the sagging house to the gravel road seemed to have a steely blue tint, which felt appropriate for a place named after fucking cutlery.

“Here it is, Bella, home sweet home!” Charlie made a move to hug me. I dodged, so he awkwardly changed course to act like he was offering to take my bags. I pulled away again. Unfortunately, that didn’t dent his smile. “You sure you don’t need any help, kiddo? Just let your good ol’ dad hold something.”

“Can you talk like a regular human?” I said under my breath.

“What’s that, hon?”

“Nothing, sorry.”

Charlie finally took the hint to step back, but his mustache still curled up in a smile. “Right. Right. It’s no good for me to act like we always knew each other. But it’s just been so long. And here you are.” He gestured. “Five bags in one hand, and a cactus in the other.”

I kept my gaze fixed on the tiny potted ball cactus, my last reminder of Arizona. I had uprooted it from mom’s driveway and stuck it in a “Friends” mug I got mom for Christmas one year. I had found it at a Goodwill, and that was her favorite show. It had a line she sometimes quoted on it. I don’t think she ever used it, so she probably wouldn’t miss it.

“Anyway,” Charlie went on, “I got your old room all fixed up for you. It’s got a real nice view of the forest.”

“Yeah, thanks.”

“Pristine evergreens. God, the air is so fresh, and on some days the sunset strikes the mist like diamonds. And then that blue glow at twilight. God.”

I plunked my bags down on the rotting front step. A moth flittered out of a hole in the doorframe. It had been years since the last time I visited. Mom used to take me up here to visit Charlie every summer, but like a lot of routines, she just forgot about it and stopped after a while. The house didn’t look this bad the last time I saw it, but maybe that was childhood nostalgia clouding my memory.

“Bet you won’t miss that scorching sun, but you might miss staying dry, haha.” Charlie kicked an empty pizza box out of the walkway. “Set your stuff anywhere. Don’t worry about making a mess. Probably won’t make a difference.”

His living room wall was decked with guns, old sports equipment, photos of fish that looked like they were printed on a cheap office printer, and one mounted taxidermy opossum. Trash cluttered every flat surface—not enough to classify my sperm donor as a hoarder, but enough to clue me in that I was gonna have to spend my weekends cleaning here too. Great.

“Bathroom’s over that way, and your room’s still the one at the end of the hall upstairs. We can go out to the hardware store to pick up paint and whatever else you want to make it feel like yours.”

“No, that’s okay,” I said. My arm was getting really sore, so when Charlie finally scooped up my largest suitcase, I didn’t resist.

He nodded my way. “Hey. You’re a trooper, but don’t overdo yourself. Takes a lot of energy to adjust to a move like this, and your energy’s not worth wasting on dumb shit.”

He was really trying, so I tried to smile for him. “Thanks, dad.”

Upstairs, I set my cactus on the windowsill and stared out at the scraggly trees and endless clouds. The air somehow managed to be muggy humid and clammy chill at the same time. I sighed. I really wished I could’ve forced myself to hate Forks, Washington, but the truth was I didn’t feel anything at all.

* * *

With all the fuss Charlie made over me when I arrived, I expected him to be there in the morning. No such luck. Not even a premade breakfast and note saying “have a good day at school.” Well, I thought, guess this part is the same as with mom, too.

I wasn’t mad at him. As the chief of police, it made sense he had to be prompt at work in the morning. If anything, I was impressed he was able to drag himself out of bed on time. Plus, making my own breakfast gave me at least a few minutes at the start of every day to feel like I could do something right.

When I stepped outside, I found Charlie did leave something for me: the biggest, rustiest damn yeehaw truck with a cheesy plastic gift bow on the hood. Shit, I thought. I had never driven a pickup truck before. I weighed my options, then decided I was better off trying to find the bus stop than trying to teach myself on the spot.

Forks High wasn’t anything special. If anything, the building was a little nicer than I expected, and the student body more diverse than I anticipated. Still. There was enough of a white majority that a pasty, mousy brunette like me shouldn’t have turned as many heads as it did. As the first few classes passed, the more stares I got.

“New girl. Hey, new girl.” The guy behind me in science class had been poking me in the back trying to get my attention for a few minutes now. I refused to acknowledge him until he stopped, but he wasn’t stopping. If anything, now his buddies were laughing and joining in. The teacher had declared it “group work” time and let chaos reign his classroom, and I wasn’t about to make a scene raising my hand to tattle on the guy. “New girl, look over here. What’s your deal, huh?”

“What’s your deal, Mike?” interrupted a girl with long blonde hair. “If you want her attention so bad, go up and talk like a civilized person.” She stood up and placed her elbows on my desk in front of me, smiling forcedly. “Hi there! What’s your name?” she asked like a kindergarten teacher, making the guys behind us laugh.

“Is it really so boring here that one new student is the most entertaining thing?” I asked flatly.

“I’m Lauren,” she said. “We just wanted to welcome you to Forks. We’re so glad you’re here!” She glanced down at my worksheet, which I had started to doodle on because I understood jack shit about what we were supposed to be doing in class. Instinctively, I covered it up. “Oh wow, so you’re an artist! That’s sooo cool. I can’t even draw a stickperson.”

You’re good at drawing laughs, I thought, glancing at the snickering preps around her and wishing I could disappear. All I wanted to do today was lie low, and apparently I was the new easy target for no reason at all.

Just then, a buff dude in a hoodie burst into the classroom holding nothing but a chewed-up mechanical pencil and ziplock bag full of eggs. He stopped at the front of the room, blinked a few times, said “Whoops, wrong room,” and turned a 180 back into the hallway.

My new “friends” didn’t even look his way. Why did they have to be interested in me? I wasn’t interesting. Maybe if I had come to school with a bag of eggs I would’ve blended in here.

“So has he talked to you yet?” Lauren asked me.

“Who?” I responded instinctively before I could stop myself. I did not want to prolong this conversation.

“Edward Cullen, duh.”

“Who the fuck is that?”

She and the tanned girl beside her glanced at each other in shock. “You’re kidding, right? You haven’t met Edward Cullen?”

“I’m new, did you forget?” I said. “I don’t know anyone.”

The other girl tapped me and jerked her head nonchalantly at the other side of the room. “Well, he’s been staring at you all period.”

I finally turned around. At the very back of the room, at a lab table all by himself, sat an impossibly pale guy with fluffed-up hair and a disheveled tweed jacket. He had the hollow, angry gaze of a model in a perfume ad, with his dark-circled eyes locked on me. Until I looked his way, that is. Then he clapped a hand over his mouth and nose, as if in disgust, and fixed his gaze out the window.

“He’s like, unattainable,” the girl said. “Every girl who’s tried to get his attention has failed, and every girl wants his attention. So, like, you had to do something to get the hottie who’s too good for anyone to notice you.”

“I literally was just sitting here before you guys all decided to talk to me.”

The preppy girls returned to their desks. I glanced back at Edward. Sure enough, he was glaring at me again, like he was constipated. I made a face at him, wide-eyes and nostrils flared like a zombie, then turned around to resume doodling again. That emo prick could go kick rocks for all I cared.

* * *

Before I could make my way to the lunch line, that prick Edward Cullen cornered me at the water fountain. “How long is your temporary stay here in Forks?” he said in an accent that was just British enough for me to hate him.

I tried to back up, but having a wet metal spout jam into my back wasn’t worth it. So I held my ground and met his eyes. What I thought was over-enthusiastic eyeliner seemed to just be naturally sunken eye sockets, but he was definitely wearing colored contacts. His eyes were gold. “What the fuck do you want?”

At the word “fuck” he actually jerked backward, as if he was scandalized. “I will repeat myself: how long do you expect your visit to this school to last?”

I squinted in disbelief. “Visit?”

“One month? One semester?”

“I just moved here.” I tried to slip past him sideways, but he followed with a look so distraught you’d think I just told him I ran over his cat.

“Moved, with the intention to stay?” he asked.

“Sorry to disappoint you,” I muttered, and tried to scoot away again.

He let out a monstrous sigh and clawed at his temple. “Excellent. Fantastic.” Glaring, he leaned in once more. With my back against the wall, I probably would’ve been scared if he didn’t smell like old lady perfume. “I always knew God hated me, but not to such a cruel extent as to curse me with your presence.”

I finally managed to squat down and flit around him. “Leave me alone, asshole.”

The creep followed me down the hall. Walking faster didn’t help. He just matched my pace. “And such a foul-mouthed wretch, to boot,” he said, sounding genuinely offended. “Is there any reason to use such crass language?”

I flashed him a look. “You know, I wouldn’t call you names if you didn’t come out of nowhere and attack me for no reason.”

Before I could finish that sentence, he snapped his fingers like a cartoon character with an idea. “I’ve got it. I’ll get you expelled.”

At that, I actually stopped in my tracks. “Excuse me?”

He smiled maniacally. His teeth were too straight, too white. “That should be easy enough. Quick, what is your name?”

“Bella Swan,” I spat.

His smile wiped away. “Any relation to Chief Charles Swan?”

Oh lord, was I really gonna play the “my dad’s a cop” card on my first day? Against this melodramatic bitch, sure, why not. “That’s my father,” I said as snobbishly as I could.

“Curses,” he muttered, and spun around. His boots thudded down the hall in the opposite direction of the cafeteria.

I stared after him in disbelief. What is his problem? I thought, trying to process what the hell just happened. What I should’ve been doing was looking in front of me, because at that moment, I tripped over my own ankle and sprawled by the cafeteria entrance.

Dazed, my vision refocused on two beach-waved beauties above me. “Oh my god, Bella, are you okay?” Lauren asked, barely able to contain her glee.

“Excellent,” I said in a fake British accent. “Fantastic.”

* * *

I only faceplanted twice all day, which wasn’t too bad for me considering what a shitty day it was. Lauren and Jessica, the dark-haired one, seemed determined to be my best friends. Emo Edward flashed me his constipated murder-glare any time we crossed paths, which was way too often for my liking. One of my teachers had us start the class by reciting the Pledge of Allegiance at 2:35 in the afternoon. And someone threw gum into my hair.

I didn’t have it in me to climb onto the sweaty school bus full of jeering locals, and Charlie’s house wasn’t obscenely far away. Besides, I felt like I needed a long quiet walk by myself right now.

As I was popping in my earbuds, someone tugged on my sweatshirt. I whirled around, bracing myself to face another one of my passive aggressive new “friends.” But it was a tall, brown-skinned boy with shoulder-length hair and a somewhat goofy smile. “Hey. Bella.”

“Yeah?” I said.

He stuck his hands in his pockets. “I wanted to get your attention earlier, but there never seemed to be a good time. Do you remember me?”

I stared at him. At least he wasn’t hostile, but I didn’t have a clue who he was. “Sorry. We’re in, uh, some class together, right?”

“It’s me, Jacob,” he said, grinning. “Jacob Black. Our dads are friends?”

It clicked for me. “Oh my God, Jacob,” I said, trying to sound excited. “I haven’t seen you in years.”

“Yeah, we were like twelve!” He laughed and tossed his hair. “You used to come here every summer. I heard you moved in with your dad. It’s so cool you’re back! It’ll be nice to see you around more.”

“It’s cool we’re at the same school now,” I said.

“Remember that time at the shore when we collected a whole bunch of crabs and tried to get them to form a crab society but they kept pinching us and my mom called us looneys?”

I faked a laugh. Don’t get me wrong, it was nice to finally encounter a friendly face. But I was way too drained to be social right now, and Jacob was bouncing like an excited puppy. “Hey, I gotta go now, but I’ll catch up with you later,” I said.

“Yeah, totally!” He waved. “We got so much to catch up on. Catch you later!” He made finger guns at me and scampered off.

I shook my head and rolled the tension out of my shoulders. God. He seemed nice, but I had used up all my people-interaction energy for the day. The first thing I was gonna do when I got home was fix a cup of tea and plop down in bed with a book. I pulled out my mp3 player again and set it to max volume.

One second I was crunching down the parking lot trying to lose myself in the mellifluous screaming of MCR. The next, something like a tank slammed me from behind and flattened me to the ground. My earbuds and mp3 went flying. Pain shot through my palms and knees on impact. Tires screeched, someone was shouting, and one coherent thought flashed through my mind:

Oh my God. I just got hit by a car.

After a split second of blurry goldfish-bowl confusion, I snapped back to the situation. Heart pounding, I scrabbled to my knees. Except for my throbbing joints, I was fine.

“Holy shit, are you all right?” a boy yelled out the window of his pickup truck. I had fallen only a few feet away from its tires.

“Are you inebriated? You could have killed her!” a vaguely British accent yelled back.

No fucking way, I thought. Edward stood over me, almost protectively, fists clenched like he was about to punch the guy’s truck.

“I didn’t see her! She kinda blended into the scenery,” said the driver.

“Hey,” I said. My voice barely came out. “Did you just…”

Glaring, Edward crouched and pulled me up by my shoulders. He had a grip like a metal clamp. “You can’t walk around with music blasting without looking where you’re going,” he scolded.

“Oh my God,” I said, as the fact sank in that he might have just saved my life. With those freaky yellow eyes of his fixed on me, I didn’t feel reassured by his presence. “Where did you even come from?”

I brushed my dirty palms off on my jacket and winced. Some sharp piece of debris had left a brisk scratch across my fingers. A tiny bead of blood welled up, and I smeared it away.

Edward looked physically ill. Without warning, he turned and sprinted down the road. I stared after him. “What the hell,” I said out of sheer disbelief.

“Hey, are you okay, really?” the driver asked me. “I’m sorry I didn’t see you. Do you need anything?”

Close to losing my shit, I turned to him and, shaking, almost laughing from frustration, nodded. “Yes. I need answers. What the fuck is wrong with this town? Please tell me.”

Without waiting for a response, I retrieved my cracked mp3 player off the ground and hurried off. The screen had frozen halfway through the song “Vampires Will Never Hurt You.” Frantically, I pressed the buttons randomly, and miracle of miracles, it started playing again.

My hips and knees ached, but I didn’t look back. I made it home about half an hour later and collapsed in bed without even making any tea. Three faceplants and one near-death scenario in one day isn’t so bad, I guess. Things could have been worse. I sighed and stared up at the ceiling. I was done.

Chapter Text

Last night while I made dinner, I mentioned to Charlie I didn’t know how to drive the truck he got me. This morning I found a “how to drive a pickup” guidebook with the same plastic bow I threw out yesterday on it at my spot at the table. Very helpful.

Now that I knew Edward stared at me for no reason, I had more trouble ignoring him in all the classes we shared. English lit, science, history. Even in art class, I had to deal with him death-glaring at my sucky pottery.

Lauren must have decided to give me a break, but Jessica stuck to me like glue. She seemed a bit more sympathetic without her cattier half I guess, but I wasn’t looking for sympathy. I got the feeling every personal question she asked me was going to become fuel for more mockery against me later.

Every class I searched for Jacob, until it hit me that he was a whole year younger than me. Of course we didn’t have any classes together. I managed to spot him enthusiastically waving at me in the hallway before lunch, but then a teacher whisked him into his classroom. I sighed and trudged toward the cafeteria. Jessica wanted me to sit with her clique, so maybe if I hurried fast enough I could grab my food and hide out in the library before she spotted me.

Books made better company than people. They wouldn’t try to talk to me, for one thing. Casually, I scanned the covers on display of the newest popular reads. Too much romance for my tastes.

I spotted a few other students eating lunch at the study tables, so I hunkered down on a beanbag chair in a corner and picked at the crap on my tray. The chicken patty seemed to be made of brown aquarium gravel. I smothered it in ketchup in hopes that would help. It kind of did?

After I decided I had enough of that, I pulled out my notebook and flipped to the end pages, where I hid my drawings. The cheap lined paper gave me at least some sort of reassurance that I wasn’t wasting good paper with my shitty art. Each sketch of a face looked less human than the one before. In one margin was a sad rendition of my cactus that looked more like a pufferfish that lost a fight. One page was just covered with scribbled-out attempts to draw hands. I didn’t even like drawing, but it gave me something mindless to do. And one of these days, maybe I would get my character to look like how I wanted.

I must’ve gotten too absorbed in my sketching, because while I did hear the kids at the other table scrape their chairs back and get up, I didn’t realize they were walking over to me until they were right there. “Watcha drawing?” asked a sudden bubbly voice, and I jumped.

A short girl with a spiky black pixie cut leaned over me, grinning ear to ear. She wore a pink-studded leather jacket, three belts, and plaid capri pants. Next to her stood a huge jock in torn jeans and a grubby t-shirt. He seemed familiar, and when I caught sight of the ziplock bag full of eggs left at his table, I realized he was the same guy who dropped into my science class by mistake yesterday. Both smiled as though sharing some joke I wasn’t a part of.

Hastily, I flipped my notebook closed and buried it in my bag. “I’m just doing classwork,” I mumbled, gathering my stuff to leave.

“You’re Bella Swan, from Arizona,” she continued. “You look really nice! I like how your socks match your shoes.”

They were both white. I stood and glanced shakily at the tall guy. “What do you guys want? And what’s with the eggs?”

“That’s my lunch,” he said.

“I’m Alice Cullen!” chirped the girl.

“I’m Emmett Cullen.”

“We wanted to welcome you to Forks!”

“Cullen?” I repeated, suddenly on edge.

Alice nodded. “You’ve got classes with our brother, Edward.”

“Brother?” These two looked nothing like each other, and nothing like my Emo Enemy No. 1. I guess all three of them were sickeningly pale, and Alice did have an obscene amount of mascara on, but that was it.

“We wanted to apologize,” Emmett said, “’cause he won’t.”

“So sorry you have to exist in the same room as him,” Alice said.

“Or hear his whining.”

“Or witness his hair.”

“Not to mention that face he makes, like ‘you fools can’t comprehend my suffering, bleh.’”

“Tell me, do you sing?”

I blinked a few times, tired from switching my attention back and forth between them. “I’m sorry?”

“Do you sing? Are you a singer?” Alice asked again, and Emmett snorted. “Please say yes.”

“It would really piss Edward off if you liked to sing,” Emmett explained, barely holding in his snickers.

Aha, I thought as some of the pieces clicked. Edward had to be one of those obnoxious theatre kids that perceived everyone else as a threat. “No, I don’t sing,” I said.

“Oh, that’s too bad,” Alice said. She leaned down to pick up a pencil that had fallen from my bag in my scramble and handed it to me. “How about woodworking? Do you like carving things? Or fencing maybe? Any activities with knives or blades?”

“I really don’t have any interesting hobbies, so whatever it is Edward’s suspicious about me, tell him he can shove off,” I said. “What’s his problem with me, anyway?”

“You do smell nice,” Emmett said, as if that was the logical response to my question.

“She does,” Alice said, and the two nodded at each other like this was a very important point. “You have a very pleasant scent, Bella, I’ll admit that. It’s not like something you’d want to eat, but it’s nice. Kind of like floral light bulbs.”

I had never met anyone who could sound so sincere saying things that made such little sense. I don’t think either of them were trying to make backhanded compliments at me like the other cliques I’d met. But what the hell.

“Thanks,” I said, forcing a smile.

I tried to shoulder my way past Emmett, but his biceps were like granite. Unlike his emo brother, however, he willingly stepped out of my way when he realized I was trying to get around him. I walked toward a shelf of classics to browse in hopes they would take the hint to leave me alone.

Alice must have, but Emmett didn’t. From the corner of my eye, I saw him start forward like he was gonna join me, but tiny Alice grabbed his arm. “Well,” she said with a giggle, “we don’t wanna interrupt your book search, but if Edward does anything annoying or embarrassing around you, come to us!”

“Especially if it’s something embarrassing,” said Emmett.

“Or if he’s just being extra grouchy and you’re sick of him.”

“Please, tell us.”

“Please do!”

“Okay, thanks,” I mumbled.

“Oh, and try not to take up any hobbies that use sharp blades,” she added.

“It wasn’t on my to-do list.”

“Great!” She hefted up a purse half her size that seemed to be made of holographic cellophane and velvet. Emmett grabbed his bag of eggs. I’m pretty sure it was the exact same bag as yesterday, and questioned whether he even refrigerated them since then. “We’re going out to the school lawn until the bell rings if you want to join us,” Alice offered.

Hell no. “No thanks, I’m still looking for something to read,” I said.

“Okay! But Edward’s going to show up here in about thirteen seconds looking for his protractor, so if you want to avoid him, you might want to—”

Before she could finish, Mr. Murder-glare himself poked his fluffy head around a bookcase. “Why are you talking to her?” he asked.

“Because it’s a free country, and she smells delightful but not edible,” Alice retorted, crossing her arms.

Edward cringed at her. “Why must you say things like that?”

“I’m leaving,” I announced, and started walking before things could get weirder.

Edward stepped in front of me. “What did they tell you? Why are you prying into our lives?”

I threw up my hands. “I didn’t do anything! Don’t you have a protractor to look for?”

Cue that scandalized look. “Did you steal my protractor?”

“Bro, I did,” Emmett interjected.

Edward whirled on him, and I took the opportunity to escape. Behind me, the Cullen boys kept bickering.

“I need that for geometry! Where is it? Don’t tell me you broke it.”

“Nah, Rosalie wanted it.”

“Rosalie broke my protractor?”

“Probably not, but ask her.”

I glanced back one last time from the threshold of the library. Alice waved at me and grinned while Emmett lifted Edward off the ground by the back of his shirt collar. I scurried down the hall, grateful that I didn’t have any siblings.

* * *

So even if Edward hated me for no reason, at least he avoided me, right?

Wrong.

As the days passed, the more and more he instigated conversation with me. He would pop up in the hallway between class or stand at my locker waiting for me. Always an accusation about every little move I made, or some criticism about my performance in class, or questions that were none of his business. (Once he asked if I was on my period, and I highly doubt it was because he was a kind soul giving out free maxipads.)

I contemplated telling Charlie about him, but the last thing I needed at this school was even more attention, and I was sure Charlie would show up in full uniform toting a big gun with a balloon tied to it saying “don’t mess with my daughter.” So every day, I braved whatever unwanted infamy I attracted from the preps and goths of Forks High. Every night, I cooked dinner for me and Charlie, then went straight to my room to lie around reading or listening to music while I daydreamed.

Usually I daydreamed about her. My character. Sometimes I flipped through the sketches in my notebook while listening to songs and playing through elaborate music videos in my head. I could never get the scenes or her likeness the way I pictured them.

She was basically me, but better. Prettier, smarter, stronger. In the realm of my imagination, I placed her in the scenarios of the books I read. How would I survive Count Dracula’s obsession and kill him? Could I befriend Bertha and kick Rochester to the curb? How about befriend wild dogs and survive alone on the Island of the Blue Dolphins? I knew I’d trip on my own feet and die early on in just about any bookish scenario, but she wouldn’t. My beautiful self-insert, the character I couldn’t let anyone know about.

Sometimes at night I almost cried. Because I wasn’t that character. I was Bella Swan, a person so pathetic and worthless that she couldn’t get her emotions to show up for anything but a fictional girl in her head. Tonight was one of those nights. In the end, I was able to lose myself in an adventure where my self-insert saved a baby from a fire, and finally got some sleep.

Chapter Text

I awoke to gunshots and some crazy man screaming his head off about a groundhog. Turned out it was Charlie. Figures.

I plodded out the door just to be greeted by another bang and more shouting. “What are you doing?” I shouted.

“Don’t you worry about it, Bella, I’ll get him next time!” Charlie shouted back.

I sighed, then shuffled back inside to make breakfast. I had started making his breakfast in the mornings, too. Maybe it was just out of habit. I had done the same for mom.

* * *

At school the science teacher assigned group projects and paired me up with—you guessed it—Edward Cullen. As I walked toward his seat in the back of the room, I had to pass the classroom fan. He covered his nose and mouth again, as if I stank. That was great for my already skyrocketing self esteem.

“Look,” I told him. “I’ll do the odd questions, you do the even ones, and we’ll just copy each other’s answers and call it a day. Okay?”

“Were you not paying attention?” he retorted. Of course I wasn’t. This teacher had a voice like a robot. Edward gestured to the glass tank on his desk. “We are growing an onion from a seed. This project lasts until the end of the semester.”

All semester? I scrunched up my face, then sighed. “Fuck me.”

Edward looked horrified. “Pardon?”

“Not you.” I reached for the glass tank.

Scowling, Edward slid it from my reach. “Listen, you. You are not to touch anything sharp or breakable during this godforsaken science experiment. If you so much as get a drop of blood on my desk, I will kill you.”

“If that means you’re doing all the work, then cool,” I said, then squinted at him.

“What now?”

“Your eyes are dark,” I said. Pitch black even. It was the first time I ever saw him without his colored contacts. “What’s up with that?” I asked just to bug him.

He screwed up his mouth. “It’s the fluorescents.”

“Yeah right. Next time you forget to put your flashy contacts in, just own up to it.” God, he was so pretentious. I wondered how I was going to survive growing a stupid onion with him for the next two months.

* * *

On my way back from lunch, I scratched my arm on a locker, and not fifteen seconds later, there was that bitch Edward Cullen to yell at me about the dangers of tetanus. Just my luck he was the nurse’s assistant. Or so I assumed, because why else would he care?

I couldn’t get him to shut up, and the way his nostrils flared was kinda disturbingly like a raging bull, so I whirled around without a plan and hurried down the hall.

Crash! Right into the brick-hard abs of the most flawless cheerleader-type girl I’d ever seen outside a magazine. My books and I went sprawling. Stupid twisty ankle.

While I gathered my stuff, she stared down at me with disdain. I realized I had run into her stack of textbooks, not her chest. That made way more sense, because no way a pair of boobs that large would’ve felt like a brick wall. “Excuse you,” she said.

“I’m real sorry,” I mumbled, “there’s a creepy guy following me.”

Sure enough, Edward turned the corner and continued ranting behind me. “Rosalie! What are you trying to do? Can’t you see this”—he motioned at me—“is enough of a mess as is?”

“I was just standing here,” Rosalie said. She was the first girl I had heard react to Edward talking to her with exasperation instead of awe, and for that she earned a few points in my book. “Why are you following her around?” The way she emphasized “her” made me feel like crap, so she immediately lost those points.

I stuffed my books into my tote bag and clutched my arm. Rosalie clearly didn’t like me, but I didn’t have much to lose, so I asked, “Um, you wouldn’t happen to have a bandaid, would you?” Her eyes widened. Without warning, she grabbed the handle of my totebag and yanked me down the hall towards the girls’ bathroom. “Hey!”

Once inside, she pulled a box of bandaids from a cabinet full of stuff like pads and hair ties and shoved it at me. “Here. Pick your size.”

“Oh. Thanks.” It was good to know those were there. I would totally need them in the near future.

“And word of advice,” she went on, “stay away from Edward. He’s bad news.”

I made a half-hearted attempt to snort. “I wish I could stay away from him, but he keeps bothering me.”

She rolled her eyes and muttered “Idiot” towards the door. Then she said, “Wait here for twenty seconds, and I’ll make sure he doesn’t follow you.”

“Thanks?”

She didn’t even wait to hear me thank her. Wow. I wondered if they were exes or something. The last thing I heard before I finally left the bathroom was a distant Edwardian cry of “But she’s accident-prone!”

* * *

As if my day wasn’t embarrassing enough, at dismissal I bumped into a second tall, blond person and wound up on the floor again. “Jesus, I’m sorry.”

“Thou shall not take the Lord’s name in vain,” he replied in a southern drawl. Tall and lanky, he had a nasty scar stretching from his chin down his throat and a glare as cold and distant as that of a chihuahua. Instead of awkwardly trying to help me up, he awkwardly stared at me flounder around trying to counterbalance the weight of my backpack. Just stood there while people filtered around us.

I finally struggled to my feet, and he surprised me by speaking again. “You don’t feel much, do you?”

I rolled my head to look at him, faked a laugh, and kept walking.

“Bye now,” I heard him say behind me.

Hopefully no one who cares saw that, I thought as I trudged outside toward the buses. The air smelled like incoming rain, which it usually did in Forks. Just stepping outside slapped you with clamminess. I almost wished it would snow, just so the dreary, misty days would change.

Midway to the school bus, however, something strange caught my eye. I paused. Over in the parking lot, I spotted Mr. Southern Gentleman get behind the wheel of a shiny beige SUV.

That wasn’t the strange part, though. What stopped me in my tracks was that girl jock Rosalie and all three Cullen siblings were also piling into the SUV. They looked like they were arguing, but I couldn’t tell what they were saying. On a stroke of bad luck, Edward caught my eye and flashed me his death glare. Immediately, he shoved his way inside the car and disappeared from my view. Alice waved. Emmett seemed to be looking for a position in the cramped vehicle where he could stand instead of sit. Texas boy pulled away while his head was still sticking out of the sunroof, and like that they were gone.

What the fuck?

“Bella!” A hand clamped on my shoulder and I just about jumped out of my skin. I turned to face the saccharine smiles of Lauren and Jessica. “Oh. My god. I can’t believe you literally ran into both Hale twins in one day!”

“Huh?” I asked in a daze, one second before my brain reconnected and I realized they probably meant Texas boy. Texas boy, and…Rosalie? “Wait, twins?”

“You’re like, either the luckiest or unluckiest person in the world,” Jessica said with a giggle.

“Most confused is more like it,” I said, trying to walk away.

Lauren grabbed my shoulder again, and I was too overwhelmed to shrug her off this time. “Oh my god. You need to come to our sleepover tonight. You have no idea what a big deal the Cullens are.”

“Are they?” I asked. “Are they really?”

“Tonight,” Lauren said, squaring my shoulders like we were arranging a fight. “Nine o’clock. My house.” She grabbed my phone from my hand and typed in her address. “You have to be there. Or else.”

Chapter Text

That evening I learned that “or else” meant that Lauren knew a cop who worked with my dad and told him all about our “sleepover plans,” so that cop called Charlie and told him all about it, so Charlie was positively ecstatic that I was “making new friends” and “having a girl’s night out.”

“Just remember, no drinks, no drugs, no boys,” he said as I slammed the door to the pickup truck. “Call me if you need anything. Love you!”

“Fuck me,” I muttered once he was out of earshot. With a sigh, I turned to face Lauren’s bland white house. At least it wasn’t falling apart like Charlie’s. Full of dread, I knocked on the door.

Inside I swore I heard a spurt of laughter before a thunder of footsteps to greet me. The door swung open. Lauren was decked out in hiking gear instead of pajamas for some reason. “Oh my god, I’m so glad you came!” She tried to hug me and I successfully scrunched enough to dodge. “Your pajamas are sooo cute!”

They were bright pink sweatpants with a matching sweatshirt. Charlie ran out and bought them as soon as he heard I was going to a sleepover. Some shades of pink were okay, but I hated this one specifically.

Lauren dragged me inside and up a staircase to her room. There sat Jessica and another girl I hadn’t met, sort of shy looking with glasses. Lauren and Jessica sat me down in their circle and started pelting me with stupid requests.

“We should curl your hair!”

“We should do your makeup!”

“Stop,” I said, shielding my hair from whatever torture device Jessica held up. “There’s only one reason I came over here tonight,” I lied, “and that’s to learn what the hell is up with everyone here and the Cullens and the Hales.” The student body’s borderline obsession was remotely interesting, and more importantly, it took the subject away from me.

Their eyes sparkled. I had plucked the right juicy tidbit to satisfy their attention. “Right, straight to it,” Lauren said. “Bella. Do you have any clue who they are?”

“I know their names,” I said. “I’ve run into all five of them at some point or another.”

“Literally,” Jessica snickered.

“What I don’t know is what the big deal is about them.”

“Okay. Crash course.” Lauren whipped out a sheet of paper and started drawing stick figures with arrows between them. “Jasper’s dating Alice. Emmett’s dating Rosalie. Edward is free but impossible to obtain.”

I balked. “Wait, what?”

“Jasper and Rosalie are twins,” Jessica broke in. “Obviously. They look exactly like each other.”

The two people I bumped into looked nothing like each other save being blond and disdainful toward me. “Hold on,” I said.

“Emmett’s a senior too, but Alice and Edward are in our grade,” she went on, ignoring me.

“Alice and Edward are twins?” I said in disbelief.

Jessica rolled her eyes and laughed. “No, they’re adopted.”

“All of them are,” Lauren added. “They all live together.”

“What?”

The third girl spoke up. “They all moved here about two years ago, and ever since, everyone wants to know them. They’re just so cool and mysterious.”

“And super rich,” said Lauren.

“And hot,” said Jessica.

“They live together?” I repeated. “Both families?”

“They’re kinda one family but also kinda not because obviously the ones dating aren’t siblings, but yeah,” Jessica said. “Their dad’s a doctor. Who’s also super hot, by the way.”

“Isn’t that kinda weird?” I said. “Like, incest almost?”

Something strange happened with their eyes. It was like for a second, the three girls shared my feelings, and it reflected in their faces. But in a flash, they were giggling again. “Bella, don’t be so intolerant,” Lauren said, swatting my arm.

I kept trying to wrap my head around the convoluted stick person relationship chart. So…the boy jock is dating the girl jock. The tiny goth girl is dating the tall Texan guy. “Why does Jasper have a Texas accent, but Rosalie doesn’t, if they’re twins?” I asked.

Again I got that odd glazed look as a response. “You ask weird questions, Bella,” said Lauren.

“I don’t know what you mean? They both sound American?” said Jessica. She giggled. “Like, you know what I mean. Like normal.”

“Is it true you and Alice are friends?” the quiet girl asked me. “She’s the prettiest and most fashionable person in school. I don’t know anyone who actually got her attention.”

Was this the same Alice I saw stapling bread tags to the hem of her shirt in the library the other day? “I don’t know about friends,” I said, “but she doesn’t hate me.”

The other girls kept bubbling on and on about what the Cullens wore or who they saw them talk to and about what. It became clear that they meant the Hale twins too. “The Cullens” was a moniker, like The Kennedys, or The Mob. I stared at them in a grotesque kind of fascination.

Don’t get me wrong, each member of The Cullens was odd enough of a character to occupy someone’s imagination. But The Cullens they were describing to me sounded like different people entirely. They described Edward like a celebrity, a supermodel, a god. Not once did they say anything remotely relevant to the moody bitch who stalked me in the halls to complain about my klutziness. If not for the way I’d seen other people act around them at school, I would’ve brushed it off as a bunch of popular girls trying to prank the new kid.

“You’re staring at us like we’re growing two heads,” Jessica said.

This topic was definitely not worth arguing over, so I responded, “I’m just wondering why you’re all dressed like you’re going to hike through the woods.”

“Oh!” Lauren clapped her hands together. “That’s because we are. Thanks for reminding me. It’s time for your initiation to Forks.”

* * *

They led me out to the middle of the woods blindfolded. I probably should have objected more, but they didn’t listen as it was. Dammit, dammit, I cursed myself. What’s wrong for you? Why can’t you stand up for yourself?

“Why is this necessary?” I managed to make myself say.

Lauren answered in front of me. She was the one guiding me along by the hand. “You can’t live here without appreciating the great outdoors!”

I stumbled on what was probably a fallen branch. Somebody caught me by my other hand. I doubted it was Jessica, because from the other side of me I heard her say, “You managed to live in Arizona without a tan, which means you never went outside, so really, we’re helping you.” Amazing how someone could say something so bitchy in such a sweet tone.

“It’s just for fun,” said the third girl in a voice like she was trying to play peacemaker. I didn’t need a peacemaker. I needed someone to take off my blindfold.

Screw this, I thought, and reached for it, but someone’s hand pulled mine away. “Uh uh! Not yet,” said Lauren. “Once we get to the clearing, you can take it off.”

Every now and then I caught a hint of their sweeping flashlight beam through the thick fabric. “And what happens then?” I said, when I should have said, fuck you. “This better not be some sort of witchy blood pact. I’m squeamish.”

All three laughed. “No, silly,” Lauren said, “we’re going to show you the stars. They’re amazing from out here, without any lights around.”

I stepped on something crunchier than a leaf and nearly rolled my ankle. “Then why the blindfold?”

Lauren giggled and gave my arm a little yank. I couldn’t tell if it was on purpose or if she was just helping me avoid another obstacle. “Well. After we look at the stars, you’re the one who’s going to lead us back home.”

“To test your survival instincts,” Jessica said smugly. “We’ll be here to judge you on them.”

“Guys, you figured out yourselves I spend all my time indoors,” I said. “I have no survival skills.”

Some more giggles. “Oh, don’t be so hard on—”

And then the death scream of some animal cut the boss bitch short. Lauren flinched and squeezed my hand so tight I let out a little yelp myself. The shriek lingered in the air for what felt too long, but was probably only a couple seconds.

“Oh my God,” Lauren whispered, all traces of bitchiness gone.

“What was that?” came Jessica’s frantic whisper. “What was that?”

“Let’s get out of here,” Lauren whimpered, and yanked off my blindfold. I blinked spastically in the gloomy dusk. Around me, the three girls booked it the way we came, but I couldn’t stop blinking until my vision adjusted.

“Guys, wait up,” I said, rubbing my eyes. Their footsteps crashed through the leaves. I stumbled forward, but eventually their footsteps faded away. “Guys!” I yelled.

Nothing but ambient night noise replied. I let out a sound of frustration and shivered. The trees were so thick here that what little blue light could filter through the branches hardly did any good. I squinted through the shadows. Without a flashlight, I couldn’t see more than a couple feet in front of me. I pulled out my trusty mp3 player, but its tiny screen did squat to illuminate the ground in front of me.

So this was their plan all along, I thought. Abandon the new girl in the woods. Ha ha, hilarious.

Another bellow of distress echoed, nearer than the last one.

“Oh, give it a rest!” I hollered back, fed up with this whole evening. “I don’t know who you are, but I know those jerks got you to come out here and scare me!” It was probably one of the jocks I always saw hanging around with them at school. Imitating an animal’s cry wasn’t so hard, I assumed, and those screams had to be some douche hiding somewhere in the thicket ahead.

Silence met me this time. Not even the night birds in the treetops replied. The thought hit that this was the Pacific northwest, and unlike Arizona, there were actual large predators out and about in woods like these. Wolves. Bears. A chill came over me, but I forced myself to stay stubborn. No. This has to be a prank, I thought.

Up ahead, I heard a soft noise like wind rustling through the leaves. Except, it wasn’t windy out. Again, a fain whooshing. Not like footsteps, but like a breeze. “Hello?” I called again, then turned and got a twig right in my eye. “Ow! Shit,” I hissed, taking a few steps back, then lost my balance. “Fu—”

There was another soft whooshing, and a pair of strong hands caught me from behind. Half of me was struck with alarm, and the other half felt smug to have been right. “I knew someone was out here,” I said, and whirled around.

The shock returned. Pale as death in the dim light stood Edward fucking Cullen.

“Why are you out here?” he demanded in a curt whisper as I took several steps back.

“What the fuck,” I said. I couldn’t picture Edward doing anything for Lauren, but I asked anyway, “Did Lauren really get you to come out here and prank me?”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about, but you can’t be here,” he shot back, and motioned like he was shooing a pigeon. “You have to leave. Go. Go back to the suburbs.”

“Wait,” I said, still overwhelmed. “If you’re not here to prank me, you must have heard those screams too.”

“Only elk,” he said, almost too quickly. “Nothing that should concern you. There are always beasts on the hunt at night.” He pointed dramatically to the left. “Which is why you shouldn’t be here. You could get hurt.”

“Ooh, big man of the forest,” I muttered.

His eye twitched. “Pardon me?”

“What are you doing out here then, if it’s so dangerous?”

“Perhaps I take moonlit walks alone! Or maybe I enjoy monitoring the habits of nocturnal snails! Regardless, it is none of your business, and I know this forest and its dangers far more intimately than you do.” He thrust his pointer finger again. “Now, go home.”

“I can’t.” By then, I had used up what little rage this whole misadventure could muster in me, and let out a huge sigh. I wasn’t even mad at Edward, just bewildered that he was here. “I don’t know how I got here,” I mumbled, staring at my muddy shoes. “Some mean girls from school led me out here blindfolded as some sort of stupid rite of passage, then abandoned me when we heard the elk.”

This time, Edward was the one to let out a huge sigh. “Lauren Mallory?”

“We were having a sleepover,” I said.

He must have rolled his eyes, because his whole head rolled. Then he beckoned me to follow him. “She lives this way.”

Slowly, he trudged through the debris. I watched for a second, then followed.

“Stay close,” he said. “I can’t have you getting hurt.”

“That is such a weird thing to say,” I said.

He glanced back. “Why is it weird that I care about your safety?”

“Because you hate me. Why should you care if I get hurt?”

He made a noise of frustration. “Is it so hard to believe that some people actually cherish the sanctity of life? Have you never heard the phrase ‘love thy enemy?’”

I wrinkled my nose. “Never mind. Forget I asked.”

After that, we walked without speaking, which was a great improvement. Edward paused every now and then to check back on me. I wondered how he was able to keep so steady in the dark. By now, the sun had set completely, and he was only a vague shadow in front of me. I contemplated reaching for his arm, then decided I would rather fall on my face than hold his hand.

Some odd minutes later, I heard a faint human voice. “Bella?”

“Someone’s calling me,” I said.

Edward turned around. “You hear her? Good. Then you can find your way from here.” Before I could reply, he jogged briskly back into the trees and disappeared. I stared after him in shock. What the hell? Just when I was starting to believe he wasn’t a total douchebag.

“Bella?” the voice called, closer now.

“I’m over here,” I called back.

I heard a tiny “Oh thank God,” then saw the yellow beam of a flashlight. The quiet girl swerved through the trees to meet me. “We’re so sorry we left you behind,” she said. “We thought you were right behind us.”

“Where are the other two?” I asked, though I had a pretty good guess.

“Inside, watching TV,” she said, proving me right. She looked sick with guilt. “We’re seriously so sorry we didn’t go back for you. We were just so scared we didn’t think.”

“’We’ are sorry,” I said, “or just you?”

She hung her head. “Well…actually, I don’t know how Lauren and Jessica feel.” Her voice hitched. “I try to be their friend, but sometimes they do things like this and I just don’t know…”

“Hey,” I cut her off. “Thanks for staying out to look for me.”

In the glow of the flashlight, I saw her mouth twitch into a smile. “Don’t thank me. I was too scared to look very far.” She jerked her thumb. “Lauren’s backyard is right over there.”

We walked together through the thinning trees and sure enough, made it to a well-manicured backyard. “Do you want to go back in?” she asked.

I sighed. “No, but my stuff is in there.”

“I can bring it out for you if you have someone to come get you.”

“My dad. If you bring me my phone…”

“I’ll get it.”

For once, I mustered a smile. “Thanks, um…”

“Angela,” she said, smiling back.

“Yeah. Thanks Angela.”

When Charlie arrived, I told him one of the girls wouldn’t stop barfing, and he didn’t ask any more questions. His headlights flashed upon some animal’s eyes in the woods as we drove past. I must have been half asleep, because my drowsy brain’s immediate thought was What if that was Edward Cullen.

Chapter Text

Christmas came as drab and clammy as any other day in Forks. The tree Charlie dragged in was full of spiders and had needles sharp as, well, needles. He set a box of ornaments out on top of a stack of junk mail, but I never felt like putting them up, so they just sat there.

On Christmas morning, I started my day with a splitting headache and tried to tend to my cactus. The poor thing didn’t like the cold and damp, or maybe I was over-watering it even though the soil still felt bone-dry. Whatever the reason, it heaved inward like it was rotting from the inside. It was dumb, but I really wanted this little plant to pull through. I placed the mug back at my windowsill as if any sun would come through and crept down the stairs, quietly so I wouldn’t wake Charlie. Time to make breakfast.

To my surprise, three presents sat under that sorry tree: a brown paper bag, a box wrapped in newspaper, and a fancy wrapped gift. A slight pang hit me in the chest. I hadn’t gotten a present for Charlie, and here he’d gone and done something nice for me. What now? I thought. Maybe I could cook him his favorite food? Yeah right. I was adequate at best in the kitchen, and even if I were a master chef, I didn’t even know what my own father’s favorite food was.

The thought of Charlie and food awakened an old memory like a sudden flash. I recalled the sweet-tart taste of currant jam like another punch in the gut. When I used to visit Charlie as a kid, he would take me to the Quileute Reservation to fish with Jacob’s dad, and we would all share fresh-baked currant tarts. I hadn’t thought about those cookies in years, but now something in me ached to have one again.

Inspired, I fumbled around the kitchen for the ingredients to make cookies. I had no idea where to even get currant jam, but we had grape jelly in the fridge. Surely even I couldn’t mess this up. I popped my earbuds in and started mixing.

Maybe I was a little too enthusiastic. The eggs hissed in the frying pan, and I dropped the whisk with a clatter to turn my attention there instead. “Shit,” I said, and scrambled the fussy eggs. I shivered despite the heat from the stove.

Charlie came down after I placed the cookies in the oven. I had already finished my own plate of eggs, so now I lounged on the couch with a book. “Morning,” I said, and gave a little wave.

“Well, you’re chipper!” He stretched and yawned. “Merry Christmas, Beller. Something smells great.”

I passed him his breakfast plate. To try and hide the fact I nearly burnt the eggs, I had smothered them in random spices from the pantry. They weren’t bad. “Here you go,” I said.

Charlie grunted a thank-you and dug in. I set down my book and glanced toward the Christmas tree. “You didn’t have to get me anything,” I said.

“Oh, those?” He motioned at the presents. “Only one of them is from me, but it’s a good one.”

That took me aback. “Where’d the other two come from then?”

“The newspaper one’s from your pal Jacob!” Charlie said enthusiastically. “Remember him? My buddy Billy’s his old man. He passed it on to me the other day, let me know that Jacob got it for you.”

Another thing to feel guilty about. I hadn’t even talked to Jacob in weeks.

“And that last one showed up in the mail, so I figured it was from one of your friends at school.”

What friends, I wondered. Angela was sort of a friend, but I doubt any of our brief interactions since that disaster sleepover amounted enough for her to mail me a fancy gift.

“Anyway, I can see you’re itching to open them, so go on ahead,” Charlie finished.

Awkwardly, I picked myself up and stepped over junk to reach the tree. This is stupid, you’re 17, I told myself. But the three little presents under that tree seemed extraordinary in their pathetic way. This was a real Christmas, unlike all the years with mom where she would hand me some freshly store-bought item picked at random and way out of our budget, then go off with her gal pals for partying. I selected the bag from Charlie first, surprised by its heft. Curious, I ripped away the tissue paper.

My face fell.

“Tadah!” Charlie crowed. “That there’s a Glock 19 Gen 5! Real easy to learn how to shoot, and no one’ll ever bother you once you do.”

“Wow…you really shouldn’t have,” I said, hoping my voice sounded like its regular flat tone and not overly disappointed.

“I signed you up for lessons at the local shooting range. You’ll be a pro in no time,” Charlie said.

“What if…” I coughed and gingerly placed the gun back in the bag. “What if I don’t really want to take shooting lessons?”

He laughed and seemed to brush the question away. “Aw, it’s nothing to be nervous about. You’ll get the hang of it sooner than you think.”

Deflated, I reached for Jacob’s present and tore it open. What the hell. A Garfield hoodie stared back at me with big lazy cartoon eyes. “Show me, show me,” Charlie urged, so I reluctantly lifted the shirt out of the box.

Turns out, it wasn’t a shirt. It was a onesie, with a big Garfield head for the hood. At last, a piece of sleepwear I was even less likely to wear than the pink sweatsuit. Even Charlie seemed befuddled by the damn thing. “Wow! That’s really something,” he said, just to say something.

By that point, the whole day felt like a mistake. My head throbbed, and I wanted nothing but to go back to bed. I picked up the final present and struggled to tear into the stupidly thick wrapping paper. It was like luxury linen.

At last, I succeeded in busting the whole box open. Inside were more boxes: dozens and dozens of boxes of bandaids. Baffled, I fished around until I found a card, half-ripped along with the outer box. When I saw the impeccable handwriting, my blood boiled. I recognized it from science class.

Bella Swan,

Use these liberally. If you even have to question whether you need one, you need one.

Regards,

Edward

“Well, who’s it from?” Charlie asked.

I crumpled the card and shoved it in my pocket. “Nobody. It’s a gag gift,” I said, and started my way toward the stairs.

“That’s it? You don’t wanna stick around and see what specials are on TV?”

“I want to go to bed. I’m not feeling great.”

“Come on, kiddo. It’s Christmas.”

Halfway up the stairs, I froze. “What does that even mean?” I snapped.

“Hey now, don’t get mad.”

I whirled to look down at him, suddenly fuming. “Why should I care that it’s Christmas? What makes today different from any other day? I get up, I look around for a will to live and find jack shit, and nobody cares what I like or what I want to do!”

Charlie arched his brows. “I don’t like that tone of voice, young lady, or the way you’re joking.”

“Why should I care what you like? You don’t care to know me at all!” I said, raising my voice further. “Every day I cook and clean for you, and you pretend you care about me, but you don’t! You’re barely my dad, and I don’t want to be here!”

At that, he drew back, stunned.

By now, my head felt like a jackhammer, and my ears were buzzing. “I hate it here! I hate being alive, and I hate being me! And you’re not helping!”

Just then, the oven timer beeped. How hadn’t I noticed the burnt sugar smell before now? “Shit! The cookies!” I scrambled back down the stairs again, but on the last few steps I tripped. The world pitched around me, and my vision blurred to black.

* * *

“Sure enough, you have the flu,” said the doctor.

I should’ve suspected that from the moment I woke up feeling like crap. At least it wasn’t something worse. I tried to pay attention to the doctor’s instructions, but my head was still foggy, and his appearance was really distracting.

For one thing, he barely looked old enough to be out of med school, with a sharp cleanshaven face and snappy blond hair. He looked like one of those male models they get to play doctors on bad daytime TV. For another thing, he had introduced himself as Dr. Cullen, and the notion that this Ken doll was that squad’s parental unit did not compute. And lastly, I might have been imagining it in my sickly delirium, but every now and then he’d lock eyes with Charlie and both their faces would light up for a moment with…glee? Or something.

“Any questions?” he finally asked.

“Are you really Edward’s dad?” I asked.

He laughed the way you’d expect a Ken doll to sound. “Yes I am.”

“What is his deal?”

Another laugh. “I beg your pardon?”

Where do I even begin. “He sent me bandaids for Christmas.”

From the corner, Charlie chuckled. “That was Eddie boy’s doing?”

“He’s told me a lot about you,” Dr. Cullen said. “Don’t feel bothered by his concern. He cares a lot about your wellbeing, more than you could ever understand.”

Wow, that’s not creepy at all, I thought, deciding I didn’t like Dr. Ken any more than I liked his bitchy son. He delved more into my treatment plan, but I was too distracted staring at him. He had to have major plastic surgery done, because there was no way a guy this young could be a doctor with five adopted teenage kids.

Things wrapped up, and Dr. Cullen escorted us to the door. Charlie shook his hand vigorously. “Always a pleasure to see you, Carlisle,” he said.

“One of these days we’ll need to get together over better circumstances,” Dr. Cullen replied with a smile. “Get well soon, Bella.”

Back at the car, Charlie tried to help me into the front seat, but I shrank away. I wasn’t so weakened that I couldn’t hop up myself. “That Carlisle Cullen,” he said absently. “What an admirable man. Strongest handshake in the west, and a smile like an angel.”

“He creeped me out,” I said.

Charlie shook his head with a grin. “Don’t be put off by how young he looks. Some people just have good genes.”

I sighed and leaned against the window.

The silence grew palpably awkward. Charlie’s grin faded. He tapped a bit on the steering wheel. Outside, road slush and evergreen trees blurred past us. I sniffled and tried to ignore the throbbing in my ears.

“Hey Beller,” Charlie finally spoke up. “Some of the things you said earlier…” He trailed off, like he didn’t know how to finish the thought.

Several seconds passed. “Sorry I yelled at you,” I mumbled.

We passed a stop sign and turned around a bend. “I’m sorry I haven’t been a better dad,” Charlie replied. Winding through the woods, I stared out at the mix of dead and needly branches. We had to have driven another half mile before Charlie spoke again. “Some of the things you said, about hating your life and all…”

“Oh. I was just mad,” I lied. I glanced at him. His forehead was creased with concern. “The fever got to me, and I was yelling whatever popped into my head.”

“That so?”

“Yeah.” I squeezed my arms and lost myself out the window again. “Sorry about that.”

Another pause. “Well,” Charlie said, “I just want you to know how grateful I am that you are in the world, that you are a part of my life, and that you’re you.”

“Haha. Thanks,” I mumbled, hoping he didn’t hear my voice catch.

Once we picked up my prescription and made it home, Charlie rescued the cookies from the oven. (We had turned it off, but they had just sat inside and burnt to a crisp.) I wobbled straight to bed and buried myself under the covers. Some Christmas.

A knock came at my bedroom door before I could drift to sleep. “Got your presents here,” Charlie said, and deposited them by the doorway before leaving me to rest.

Groggily, I rose and inspected the sorry gifts. At least the bandaids are useful, I thought. We probably wouldn’t have to stock up on any for a year. I lifted up the Garfield onesie and tossed it in my closet. This probably would have been hilarious if I was in the mood. I left the gun from Charlie in its bag. Typical Charlie.I wondered if learning to shoot was worth the effort, then decided I didn’t want to go deaf from missing target after target.

Back in bed, I drew a deep breath and popped in my music. Aside from getting sick, this really wasn’t so bad a Christmas. At least all my crappy presents were all real.

Chapter Text

I must’ve guilt-tripped Charlie good about doing all the cooking, because the next day I awoke to him making me breakfast. It sucked. Rubbery eggs, bacon burnt beyond all recognition, and toast that was really more like stale bread. Guess I’ll keep doing the cooking from now on, I thought while I pretended it tasted great for his sake.

Thank God for Christmas break, because while I fought the flu, I didn’t feel like doing anything at all. Day in and day out, I lay around listening to music, reading, and doodling in my notebook. Not that that was much different than what I did on a usual day. I guess I did sleep more.

With all that sleeping, it’s no wonder I started dreaming more too, and remembering the dreams. Usually nonsense. But sometimes I dreamed of my life back in Arizona, which stung. Any memory of my old home ached like an old wound. And in these dreams, I vividly recalled the face I hadn’t seen since the day I got on the plane to Washington.

My mom, Renee.

* * *

“Hey girlie.” Mom plopped herself beside me while I read Keats on the back porch. The air scorched my bones, but at least it wasn’t as stuffy as inside. “Whatcha doin?”

“What’s it look like I’m doing?” I replied with a small grin.

Mom bumped my shoulder playfully. “Well, you can keep at your boring old books, or you can come with me on an adventure.”

I raised my eyebrows. “How expensive an adventure?” I had been the one budgeting our money for the past seven years or so, and she had just splurged on a new stereo this week.

“Relax. It’ll be fun.”

“You said that about the gator farm.”

“That was a totally rad vacation and you’re just too stubborn to admit it.” She tugged my arm. Laughing, I finally put down my book. “Come on. We’re just going on a drive. Have some fun, Bella.”

“Okay, okay.”

I had to be careful when mom got in one of these upbeat moods, because one wrong vibe and she’d go from silly-goofy to offended in a heartbeat. But, man, when she was happy, I was happy. And right now she was practically ecstatic.

As we cruised downtown, Mom put the windows down and let the hot air whiz past our long hair. She sang along to the radio, and I provided the sound effects of the band.  When we made it downtown, I insisted on window-shopping, but relented when Mom begged to at least step inside each store. There was one little shop full of handmade turquoise jewelry I always loved to admire, but when Mom tried to buy me a necklace I refused.

We did end up buying soda and snacks to take home. Back at the house, Mom invited over her friends and her boyfriend Phil. She urged me to invite my friends over too, but I declined, knowing I’d be the only one cleaning up after everyone afterwards.

Music blared and the party went on into the night. Mom tried to get me to dance, knowing full well I could barely walk without falling on my face. Eventually all the gals went home, and Mom lay sprawled across the couch. I stooped to pick up some crushed cans. When I straightened, Phil stood beside me, picking up trash too. “Thought you could use a hand,” he said.

I smiled in appreciation. “How long are you in town this time?” I asked. Phil and Mom had been dating for almost a year, but he was a baseball player in the minor league and always had to travel across the country.

He chuckled. “So I take it Renee hasn’t told you yet?”

I tied my garbage bag closed. “What do you mean?”

“I’ll take that to the trash can outside.” He grabbed my bag and motioned toward the couch. “You two can talk.” Lazily, Mom rose and stretched her arms.

I watched Phil go, then scooched mom over so I could sit. “What’s up with Phil?” I asked. “Is everything okay?”

“Everything’s better than okay,” she replied, and took my hands. “I’ve been gearing up all day to tell you. Phil proposed to me. We’re getting married.”

My jaw dropped.

She shook my hands and squealed. “Isn’t this amazing? I’m going to be Mrs. Dwyer! You can be Bella Dwyer if you want!”

“I’ve always been Bella Swan,” I said stupidly, still in shock. Of course today had been a setup. Why else would she have wanted to spend the day with me?

“Like I said, only if you want.” Mom threw her head back against the couch and grinned in bliss. “We’re going to be a real family again.”

“Me and you are a real family,” I said.

“Oh, you know what I mean.” She sobered suddenly. “Aren’t you happy for me, Bella?”

“Of course I am!” I said quickly. “I’m just kind of…surprised. I can’t get over my surprise.”

She smiled. “But it’s a good surprise.”

“Yeah, I guess.” I glanced at the door, but Phil was still giving us space. “I thought you didn’t like being tied down.” She told me that’s why she split with my dad Charlie all those years ago.

“That’s the thing with Phil’s career,” she said. “With him bouncing from one city to another, it’ll be one adventure after the next.”

“Won’t you miss him?”

She laughed. “You don’t get it. We’re going with him.”

I just stared.

“Think about it, Bella! A life on the road, always on the move from one place to the next.”

“What…” I could hardly find my voice. “What about school?” I still had the rest of my junior year and my senior year on top of that.

“If army brats can switch schools like that,” she snapped her fingers, “it shouldn’t be so hard.”

I shook my head in utter disbelief. “That’s what you expect me to do? Switch schools every time Phil needs to travel?”

“Well either that, or you can drop out.”

“What?”

“Plenty of successful people don’t have their diploma,” she said, her voice so upbeat and encouraging. “What does school teach you but how to fill out a standardized test anyway?”

I had never been a stellar student, but the thought of coming so far just to give up gutted me. How could she say any of this so easily?

“So anyway, you’ve got options.” She laughed and wrapped me in a hug. “Isn’t this great, Bella? I’m getting married! This time to the right guy. My dreams are all coming true.”

I hugged her back, even though I wanted to cry. But I couldn’t. I couldn’t taint Mom’s happiness with my worries, even as they ate at the very foundations of my world.

* * *

Charlie still couldn’t shoot that damn groundhog. “I think it’s a lost cause,” I shouted down the hill.

“Once you decide to take me up on those shooting lessons, you can help me!” he shouted back. “Now get inside. I don’t want you getting any sicker.”

Sniffling, I shuffled back inside and up the stairs.

Last night’s dream had been a real doozy, having to relive that night mom told me about her engagement. I tried not to dwell on what happened next—making the sacrifice to move to Forks so Mom could live her travel dream with Phil, leaving my friends in Arizona, uprooting my whole life for someone who didn’t see how significant that was.

I sipped some water and plopped onto my bed. None of my books seemed interesting today. I couldn’t even lose myself in a song long enough to initiate a daydream. It was like Renee was haunting me, the way a vivid dream lingers on days like today. I felt restless and numb, all at once. With a sigh, I stuffed my hands in my hoodie’s pocket.

Thick paper jabbed back at me. I pulled the crumpled Christmas card from Edward out of my pocket, having forgotten it was there. Edward. Now that boy was a mystery that required my full brainpower. What was his deal? Theatre kid/nurse’s assistant/adoptee into a family of wealthy weirdos who simultaneously hated me and was obsessed with me to the point of finding me alone in the woods at night? Nothing added up or made sense.

I studied his handwriting. It was such flowery cursive, like on the Declaration of Independence. I had never seen a boy have such pretty penmanship. Hell, I never saw anyone my age write so well. Yet another piece that didn’t fit into the emo bitch puzzle. And why bandaids? Why was my getting hurt such a worry for him?

At that point I became consciously aware of my heart beating and my lungs pumping. Air tasted good. My brain raced. What was this feeling?

That’s it. I was feeling something. I hadn’t felt any strong emotions in so long that this burning curiosity actually felt good. A motivation, at last, had taken hold of my thoughts and body. At last, some ambition other than to sit around and rot.

I felt something. Finally. And I knew what the feeling was, too. It was the desire to crack open Edward Cullen.

Chapter Text

None of the science class onions survived over Christmas break. Everyone seemed shocked except for me and Edward, who shared what I chose to interpret as a look of mutual exasperation.

At lunch in the library, Alice kept trying to instigate conversation. She did that sometimes, I guess when she got bored of hanging out with the other Cullens. I considered trying to question her more about Edward, then decided against it. She was more an agent of chaos than someone I would trust. Plus, whatever secrets the Cullens held, I doubted she would disclose any.

Who could I interrogate about Edward that wasn’t part of the Cullen-fawning faction? Even the teachers beamed at him when he passed them in the halls. Anywhere else, a scowling boy in excess eyeshadow dressed in an old-fashioned long coat would raise suspicion in any authoritative figure. I considered bringing up the topic to Angela, but I knew she’d just spout Edward’s praises like anyone else.

It wasn’t until later that afternoon when I witnessed Jasper Hale amble through the stairwell and Jacob Black flash an averse sneer as he passed that it hit me. Of course. Jacob.

Jacob didn’t live in Forks. He lived on the Quileute Reservation some miles away. Of course he wouldn’t buy into the worship of some snobby group of rich white jerks. Why hadn’t I thought of that sooner?

I met up with him in the parking lot. He lit up to see me. “Hey Bella! What’s up? You finally taking me up on that offer to hang out?”

“Actually, yeah,” I said. “I’ve got time today, and we haven’t really gotten to do anything together since I moved here.”

“Awesome!”

He grinned his toothy grin, and I felt a little bad, like I was using him. Well, I thought, I’m not JUST hanging out with him to get info. I hadn’t spent time with “friends” since that disaster sleepover. This was exactly what Charlie had been urging me to do.

Jacob jerked his thumb toward the road. “We can still catch the bus to La Push. Come  on.”

I followed him down the winding road, studying him. He’d gotten so tall over the years, towering over me. Every now and then, I spotted a skip in his step, almost like he was dancing to some tune in his head. I was bundled in my winter coat, but he only wore a beat-up leather jacket.

On the bus, we sat together, with me on the window side. Jacob paid my fare even though I insisted I could pay my own. “So this is your routine every day?”

“Most of the time,” he said. “Sometimes I get a ride from a friend from the Rez if they’re in the area.”

“Why don’t you just go to school in the reservation?” I asked. “Wouldn’t that be closer?”

“I used to. But I wanted to get out.” He frowned. “Not get out as in, like, leave forever. But just see more. Do stuff outside the little circle of people I’ve always known.” He shrugged. “It might’ve been a stupid idea. There’s hardly anything I do in Forks besides go to school and go home. But it’s something just to get out here. Like. Expand. Show Forks I belong there too.” He laughed and rubbed the back of his neck. “Sorry, I’m kinda rambling.”

“I don’t mind,” I said. “If you talk, I don’t have to.” He laughed again. I leaned in. “Can I ask you another question? An unrelated one.”

“Sure.”

“You’ve spent more time in Forks than I have. What’s up with the Cullens? I need to know more.”

He screwed up his mouth. “Why d’you want to know more about them?”

“Because everyone seems to act like they’re amazing, but to me they’re just strange.”

He shook his head. “They are strange. I wouldn’t go snooping too much into their business if I were you.”

“Why not?”

After looking around as if anyone else on the sparse bus was listening, he cupped his hand to my ear and whispered, “They’re Mormons.”

I wrinkled my nose. “Oh.”

“That clears up a lot for you, doesn’t it?” he said with a dry laugh. “Yeah. They’re practically a cult. So unless you want to get preached the Good News, don’t go poking around their business.”

“It really explains so much,” I agreed. Their insanely pale skin, the haughtiness, Edward’s reluctant love-thy-neighbor shtick, the weird adoption/couples parings, all the beige. I slumped against the window. Somehow, I had hoped for some explanation more exciting than this.

Jacob chattered on for the rest of the bus ride. It was kinda nice that he didn’t expect me to reply or come up with small talk back. I just listened as he went on about his favorite TV show, his pet peeves at Forks High, his theories about Bigfoot. For the first time in so many months, I really felt like I had a friend.

* * *

Billy Black had been Charlie’s best friend as long as I’d been visiting him, probably longer. But the last time I saw him, he had both his legs.

“Bella Swan!” He wheeled up to me with a grin a bit more reserved than Jacob’s. He would’ve been a large man if he were standing, with long hair past his shoulders and a black cowboy hat. “My my. I hardly recognize you, you’re so grown up now.”

“It’s nice to see you, Mr. Black,” I said.

“Call me Billy.” He patted one of his knee stumps. “You’re probably wondering what happened here. One time your dad Charlie and I had to fight a bear, and…” He gestured to his wheelchair. “It was a hungry bear.”

“It was diabetes,” Jacob said with an eye roll.

“Tch! Since when are you no fun,” Billy said, giving him a pretend swat. “What brings you out this way, Bella?”

I explained I was living with Charlie now. Jacob broke in to reassure his dad that we were just hanging out, nothing more. Billy gave him a coy smile at that, then went back to watching TV in the living room, which was decorated with guns and fish much like Charlie’s. Several colorful oil paintings interrupted the pure guns-and-fish theme thanks to Jacob’s mom. I remembered she was a painter.

Jacob motioned to the kitchen. “You don’t mind if I do homework, do you? I’m swamped.”

“Sure. I’ll work on mine too, I guess.”

We spread out our stuff on the kitchen table. The whole study-buddy thing never worked for me. As far as I could tell, I was just doodling away, and Jacob was whittling down his pencil with a pair of safety scissors.

After a while, Billy wheeled in to get a drink and glanced Jacob’s way. “At least use a real knife if you’re going to do that,” he complained.

“Sorry,” Jacob said. “Distracted.”

“Show me yours, Bella,” Billy said. Reluctantly, I showed him my notebook page. “I see no work is getting done here today.” He squinted at my sketch, and his voice turned incredulous. “Is that Carlisle Cullen?”

Taken aback, I put the notebook back down. “Close,” I said, blushing. “It’s Edward. How’d you guess?” It wasn’t even a good sketch.

“You got the angry yellow eyes down.”

Jacob snorted. “You’re drawing Edward Cullen?”

“His weird behavior is on my mind, okay? Plus, look at him.” I flashed my sketch. “If I’m gonna draw something, why not a guy with angry yellow eyes.”

“Sounds like you’re in lo-o-ove,” Jacob taunted.

I gagged. “I hate romance, and I hate Edward. Don’t make me hurl.”

Billy didn’t look so amused. “Bella, you’d be best not to get involved with those Cullens.”

“I know, I know. They’re Mormons.”

He raised an eyebrow. “More than that. They think they own anything they desire.” With that, he wheeled back to the living room.

Jacob tapped my notebook. “Hey. Can you draw that?” He pointed to a wood carving on the wall of some intricate Native animals.

“Probably not,” I said. “I suck at drawing.”

“You drew Edward.”

“He sucks. That makes him easy.” I examined the wood carving with admiration. It looked like three figures. “What’s it supposed to represent?” I asked.

“The one up top is Raven,” Jacob explained. “He’s like, this trickster, always getting in trouble and stuff. The guy in the middle is just a guy. And the one at the bottom is a wolf, because the stories say that people first came from wolves.” He grinned. “My sister Rebecca made that. She’s the artist of the family.”

“I forgot you had sisters.”

“Yeah, the twins. They both moved away after graduating.” Though he smiled, his face took on a wistful quality. I recalled what he said about wanting to get out into the world. But as soon as that sadness touched him, it was gone. “Wanna see my attempt?”

“At?”

“Wood carving,” he said, and hurried down the hall. I followed, curious.

“That doesn’t sound like homework,” Billy yelled from the other room.

“We’ll be back soon!” Jacob called back, grinning. He led me to the garage, then pulled a square board of plywood from a shelf. The design had hardly been chipped into yet, but he’d traced the whole thing out in Sharpie: a ghoulish figure fighting a huge wolf. The skill level wasn’t great, but it was better than I could draw animals.

“Not as official looking as Rebecca’s, but I think it’s cool,” he said proudly.

“Is it also based on Native legends?” I asked.

“It’s a newer one,” he said. “Or, that’s what my dad says. He hates this story. But all my friends here know about the Cold Ones.”

I pointed to the ghoul. “This guy?”

“Yeah. So the way it goes is hundreds of years ago, there were these Quileute people going missing, then being found later with their blood drained. This guy,” he pointed at the wolf, “was just a guy. He discovered these human-looking creatures who were as pale and cold as ice targeting the tribe members who walked off on their own, then sucking their blood dry.”

“Vampires,” I guessed.

“Something like them,” he said with a nod, “but out in the daytime. Anyway, our guy was so filled with rage and courage that he tapped into the power of his first ancestors to shift between animal and human.” He tapped the wolf. “And he managed to fight the Cold Ones off Quileute land.”

“Cool,” I said.

“See, I think so too, but Dad’s like, ‘you can’t just tap into the power of your ancestors, that’s disrespectful, blah.’” I laughed at his impression of Billy. He carefully placed the block of wood back on its shelf. “I don’t think I’ll make mine 3D like Rachel did. Just gonna do the lines and fill them in.”

“Like a relief carving?”

“Yeah, that.”

We returned to the homework table, even less eager to do the homework. “D’you want some cookies?” Jacob offered.

I suddenly remembered. “Do you have any of those special currant tarts? I’ve been kind of craving them.”

“Yeah!” He jumped to his feet and hurried to the countertop. “They’re fresh too. Here, have one.”

With more enthusiasm than I usually had, I took a bite. But an unpleasant bitterness greeted me. I chewed and chewed to be polite, but these were not the heavenly dessert I remembered. “Really chewy,” I said.

He snorted. “That’s because I made them. I can’t quite get the hang of my mom’s recipe.”

“She should bake some more then.” Jacob reacted like I slapped him. “What?” I asked. “Yours kinda suck.”

“Bella,” he said quietly. “My mom isn’t here anymore.”

My chest tightened in shame. “Like, she left? Or…”

I didn’t have to finish the sentence. His face told me everything. “It was a car accident, about five years ago,” he said.

“Oh my God. Jacob, I’m so sorry.”

“I…I kinda thought you knew.” He laughed forcedly. “I kinda thought we had that in common. You know, with you moving to Forks…”

“My mom got remarried,” I said, fighting the knot in my stomach. “I moved here because it was just the best arrangement for me and her.”

His voice shrank even more. “Oh.” Standing there with his hands shoved in his pockets, he looked like he wanted to disappear into one of the cupboards. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have assumed…”

Jacob’s voice broke. Tear after tear slid down his face. Not knowing what else to do, I set the unfinished cookie on the table and wrapped him in a hug. “I’m really sorry I brought this up,” I said.

“No, you had to find out somehow,” he said, voice shaking wildly. “I’m sorry this is so awkward.”

I patted his back. It was awkward.

Jacob sobbed and sobbed in my arms, and Billy didn’t interrupt. “I miss her, Bella. Sometimes it hits me how much I miss her.”

Meanwhile, I held stock-still and kept patting him now and then, trying for the life of me to feel sad for him. All I could feel was that ever-present knot of my own guilt for not showing the right emotion. I could’ve punched myself. Why can’t you feel something? Why can’t you cry for Jacob? But try as I might, I didn’t cry.

Chapter Text

After so many dark days, a miracle occurred: the sun came out for what felt like the first time since I had moved here. Even the saggy pine trees looked more pleasant in the golden beams from the foggy sunrise.

As if God was truly smiling upon the little town of Forks, Edward was absent from school as well. Sure, it meant I actually had to do the work on the stupid plant project in science class, but not having to deal with him was worth it.

Alice didn’t poke at me at lunch either. At the end of the day, I scanned the parking lot and realized the Cullens’ beige SUV wasn’t even there. Aha, I thought with a bit of disgust. So the rich kids get to play hooky the first nice weather day of the year. It figured. At least that meant I didn’t have to run into any of them.

* * *

That evening, I needed to run some errands for Charlie and me. We ran out of bread, and he needed some superglue for a project, nothing special. By then, I had practiced driving the big rusty truck a little bit and felt confident enough that I wouldn’t crash it to drive into town.

Unfortunately, I didn’t assess how confident the truck felt about me driving it. The damn thing broke down on that winding road in the middle of the woods. With a sigh, I checked my phone, but couldn’t get a signal. Guess I’m stepping outside in the woods in the dark again, I thought, and did exactly that.

Outside the car didn’t grant me any signal either. I paced around the truck with my arm stuck out like an idiot, but no luck. There was no way I was going to open the hood and fix the problem myself either. With my skills, I was sure I’d just break the damn thing worse.

Over in the woods, something heavy rustled through the leaves. Oh great, I thought, that’s either an axe murderer or a bear. “HEY,” I shouted, “whether you’re an axe murderer or a bear, fuck off!” Either my voice would scare away the bear, or the axe murderer would follow it to me and put me out of my misery. Win-win.

The shape of a huge man lumbered into view. Shit, I thought, suddenly faced with the consequences of my own actions. But then he yelled back, “Hey, are you lost?”

That booming voice was familiar. And so was the guy once he came a bit closer. “Emmett?” I said in disbelief.

“Oh hey, Bella.” He waved and patted the side of my truck. “Your pickup broke down I’m guessing?”

“What the hell are you doing out here?” I asked.

“Hunting,” he said, despite wearing only a t-shirt and jeans and carrying no weapon. “It’s deer season.”

“No it isn’t,” I said. “Deer season ended like months ago.” I knew that thanks to my trigger-happy father.

Emmett shrugged. “It’s cool, all you have to do is pay a fine.”

I scoffed in disdain. “Must be fun being rich.”

He grinned. “Yeah, it is!”

“Where’s your gun?”

“Oh.” He scratched his head. “We’re just staking out the land right now.”

“’We?’”

“Emmett!” Rosalie stomped out of the woods, tossing a glare my way. “Why are you talking to her?”

He gestured to my truck. “Rosalie, she’s stuck here. Could you help her?”

She jutted her finger at him. “Don’t try to dodge the question. You shouldn’t be speaking to her at all.”

I held up my hands. “There’s literally no reason to be jealous of me. He wasn’t flirting anyway.”

At this, both of them laughed. “Oh trust me, I wasn’t worried about that,” Rosalie said, and Emmett looped an arm around her waist and planted a big kiss on her cheek. “What I meant is this big sweetheart is too much of a dumb-dumb to realize when someone is snooping into our business.”

“You think I’m a dumb-dumb?” Emmett asked with a frown.

Rosalie leaned up to kiss him on the nose. “I do, snookums, and I would say so to your face.”

“That’s it, your ground privileges are revoked,” he said, and lifted her up over his shoulder like a caveman.

Laughing, she pounded at his back. “Put me down, hey! This is serious.”

“Air jail for you!” He shifted her weight so that he was cradling her like a damsel. The two cuddled nose to nose.

I, for one, was fighting not to gag. “Listen,” I said, “just because my dad’s a cop doesn’t mean I’m going to snitch about your illegal hunting or whatever. I really couldn’t care less. I’m only here because my truck broke down.”

Rosalie flashed me her glare again, and jumped down from Emmett’s arms. “I guess I can help with that, then,” she said with a sigh. “Let’s see what I can do.”

I pointed stupidly at the front. “I think it’s the engine.”

The blonde beauty was neither dressed for hunting nor for being a mechanic, with a pink mini skirt and an expensive plush jacket. Yet with seemingly no effort, she lifted the rusty hood and took a look at the engine. “You got a wrench?”

“Uhh…”

“Never mind.” I don’t know what she did, but after some clanking metal sounds and a few smacks, the engine was running again. Rosalie gently closed the hood and stepped back. “There you go,” she said.

I stared in shock. “Holy shit. Thank you.”

Emmett grinned and slapped her on the back. “That’s my girl! Smartest car-fixer in the world.”

“Hey,” Rosalie said while I climbed back into the truck. “You should go home. You shouldn’t be out here alone after dark.”

“We can’t all have friendly musclemen to be our bodyguard,” I said drily.

Her scowl deepened. “I mean it. One of us knows how to take care of herself, and the other is walking bait. You should really go home, Bella.”

I revved the engine and sped away. I didn’t need her condescending warnings. All I needed was a loaf of bread and some superglue.

* * *

The only store still open by the time I pulled into town was a 24-hour mini mart with a flickery sign and a half-asleep employee behind the register. I got what I came for and headed back to my truck.

The damn thing died on me again.

“What the hell,” I muttered, then reached for my phone. Time to play the signal searching game again.

I wandered around the parking lot, trying to get a signal, when a strange prickling sensation came over the hairs of my arms. I shuddered and looked around. The only one out here this late was me. At least, that’s what I hoped. Shaking my head, I ignored the paranoid feeling and kept pacing around.

Someone ran a cold finger behind my ear and down my jaw.

I yelped and whirled around, but nobody was there. Heart pounding out my chest, I scrambled toward the mini mart and slammed the door behind me.

The cashier looked annoyed. “What’s the frenzy for?”

I pointed to the parking lot. “Did you see who that was?”

“See who?”

“Someone touched me!”

He sighed and mumbled. “Stupid junkies.”

“I’m not a junkie,” I said, but with my wide eyes and shuddering, that probably wasn’t very convincing. “Can I use your phone?”

“Not for prank calls, and not for calling more delinquents over.”

“I just need to call my dad,” I said, silently begging that I wouldn’t have to name-drop the chief of police again. Fortunately, the guy relented and passed me the phone. I punched in our landline number and waited. And waited. And waited.

It went to voicemail.

“Dammit,” I said under my breath, and gave the guy back the receiver. What show could Charlie possibly be so engrossed in that he wouldn’t pick up the phone?

The cashier didn’t want me loitering around after that, but there was no way I was waiting outside. I lied about needing batteries and shuffled back toward the convenience aisles. Bad idea, I thought as I realized those aisles were across from the floor-to-ceiling windows by the exit. Anyone outside had full view of me, and all I could see was my reflection. Was that movement out there? Or just paranoia eating at me? I drifted between aisles with a stone in the pit of my gut, feeling like an animal in a cage on display.

Two headlight beams punctuated the reflection in the glass. Another customer this late? Maybe they would have a phone I could borrow. The notion of asking a favor from a stranger made my stomach roil even more.

The door jingled. “Hi Bella!” sang a familiar bubbly voice I didn’t expect to hear.

“The fuck?” I whispered.

Alice Cullen jostled over, hand in hand with Jasper Hale. She wore a sparkly mini skirt and a “That’s So Raven” tank top layered over another tank top. Wasn’t she cold like that? Jasper’s tshirt had that “Don’t Tread on Me” snake on it. He towered over her, letting her drag him over toward me, that same blank stare pinned in my direction.

“So, you’re having car trouble?” Alice asked.

I was bewildered. “What, did Rosalie call you just to tell you that?”

She laughed as though that was ridiculous but didn’t answer otherwise. “We can give you a ride since you need one.”

“There’s plenty of room,” Jasper piped in.

Confused as I was, I didn’t have much choice. “Um, sure? Thanks.”

The two of them flanked me like bodyguards as we exited the store. It was almost as if they knew someone—or something—was out there watching me. I shuddered. There was the paranoia talking again. I tried to ignore the feeling as I climbed into their SUV in the seat behind the driver.

Still. It seemed too fishy, the Cullens showing up again like that. Even if Rosalie had called them to check in on me, how did they know where to find me? I hadn’t told them where I was going. Process of elimination? I wondered.

Alice pattered away about my outfit and how she thought I could improve it. “Ooh,” she said, “you should come over and hang out with us!”

Jasper, who had been silently driving until then, grunted and shook his head.

“Or, maybe now’s not the best time,” Alice said.

“Maybe never’s the best time,” he said. I glanced at the rearview mirror and made eye contact with him. He didn’t seem angry. I assumed he didn’t want me in his house any more than I wanted to go there. We shared a moment of mutual introversion.

Alice laughed and patted his shoulder. “Oh Jasper, you’re so silly.” She peered over her shoulder at me in the back seat. “So Bella, are you doing okay? Not too shaken up?”

I flinched. “Huh?”

“You seemed shaken up when we found you.”

I considered telling them about the thing that touched my face, but decided against it. I didn’t need Miss Bubbly Goth laughing at me. Or worse, asking more questions. “I just want to go home,” I said.

“Makes sense!” she said. “Being out alone at night is scary. Maybe you should do that less! Staying home is more fun and safe and easy.”

I rolled my eyes. She had to have been talking to Rosalie.

“Someone touched you.”

At this, I gave a start.

Alice nodded and faced forward again in her seat. “I’m right, aren’t I? Someone touched you and that’s what’s been eating at you.”

My heart pounded. Ditzy as she was, this girl had perception. “I turned around and no one was there.”

A strange look came over her face, kind of wistful, kind of uneasy. “See, that’s what I mean. It’s dangerous out by the woods after dark.” Haunted, that was the word. She looked haunted. But as soon as the pall came over her, it left, and she was back to grinning and blabbering about fashion.

The Cullens dropped me off at home. I found Charlie conked out watching Law and Order on the couch. Quietly as I could, I crept to my room, deciding to tell him about the truck in the morning and trying not to think about the Cullens’ omnipresence, nor whatever it was that touched me back in that parking lot.

Chapter Text

I learned something new about Edward.

He was lonely as fuck.

By this point we were pretty civil to each other. When the semesters changed over and we had the chance to change lab partners in science, Edward and I browsed the room and wordlessly decided we would rather have to deal with each other at 8am than any of the other annoying people in that class. Sure he criticized just about every move I made in that bitchy voice, but always to my face. And you know what? It was kinda convenient that he showed up with a bandaid every time I got the slightest papercut.

I still itched the urge to analyze him. Come on, the Cullens’ weirdness had to extend beyond just being Mormon. But the more I watched him, the more I realized he kept to himself more than I did. At least I had Angela and Jacob to talk to somewhat regularly. The only people I ever saw Edward willingly talk to were his own adopted siblings, and usually Alice, who never stopped talking. Now and then I caught him sitting dejectedly with a book, pretending to read. He always wore a melancholy frown, but sometimes he looked downright morose. World-weary and alone, like no one in the whole school would understand how he felt. I knew that feeling myself.

Was I really sympathizing with the rich prick who called my ripped jeans “too revealing?” Well, it was getting hard not to, now that I caught on to things. The Cullens didn’t interact much outside of the Cullens. And each Cullen had a pair, except Edward.

Maybe that’s why he put so much effort into scrutinizing my outfits, my lunch choices, my half-hearted homework. Maybe that’s the closest a lonely rich prick could get to being friendly.

* * *

I had always been an average student in every class but English lit. School wasn’t my thing. Even if the vegetable growing project was a failure, science wasn’t the class to give me the most trouble. Surprisingly, it was art class.

The art teacher was a stuffy guy who insisted we hold our pencils weirdly and forbid anyone to use the color black. Right now, he peered at me through his stupidly small glasses. The bell had just rung, but I remained at his desk while everyone gathered their things to leave. “You realize, Miss Swan,” he said, “that participation is the main part of your grade in this class.”

“Uh huh,” I said.

He held up my mostly blank sketchbook. Everyone in class was assigned a sketchbook to fill by the end of the year. “I spoke to you at midterm about this. You’ve had ample time to draw something, anythingwithin these pages, yet I never see you draw, even in class.”

I stared at the tabletop. “None of my drawings are good enough.”

“How would you know that if you never try?”

“Pardon me, sir,” came a voice from behind me, and I watched in shock as Edward approached the front desk. “But Bella does draw, just not in the class-assigned sketchbook.”

“What are you doing?” I mouthed angrily at him.

He glared at me. “What? I see you doodling away in every class but this one. There’s no reason your grade here should suffer when this seems to be the one subject you ought to pass.”

The art teacher raised his eyebrows. “That’s news to me. Miss Swan, can you show me some proof of this?”

“No,” I said quickly.

“It’s in her notebook over there,” Edward said, pointing to my desk. My face burned, and I wanted to kick him.

“That’s private,” I said, hoping desperately the teacher wouldn’t pry.

He narrowed his eyes and sighed. “Well. You don’t have to show me. But I strongly suggest you start ‘doodling,’ as Mr. Cullen said, in the sketchbook you plan to turn in at the end of the year.”

“Uh huh.”

“Yes sir,” he corrected, and turned to Edward. “As for you, Mr. Cullen, you were absent four days last week.”

“I had a cold,” Edward said with a cough.

I was still mad at him for exposing my private notebook, so I spoke up. “Yeah right. It’s obvious you play hooky on sunny days because you can get away with it.”

His jaw dropped. “That is untrue!”

“Don’t argue,” snapped the art teacher. “Whatever the reason for your absence, it is also affecting your grade in my class. Do you know how many classes you have missed since the start of the schoolyear, Mr. Cullen?”

He put a hand to his chest. “Sir, I swear, I complete my work here to the best of my abilities…”

“Enough.” The art teacher squinted at each of us. “There is something both of you can do to pick up your participation grade in my class, and it starts tonight.”

My stomach sank, and Edward blurted, “What do you mean, tonight?”

“You can use your artistic skills, however limited, to decorate the gym for the Spring dance. I expect to see you both there at three today. Unless, you are content to fail.”

I was almost—almost—content to fail. But then I saw Edward sneer at me, and I matched it. I was going to show up this bastard in at least one area of school. Let’s see him skip this, I thought.

* * *

When I arrived at the gym, the art teacher was off in a corner reading a newspaper, and Edward Cullen stood by a tub of streamers getting sufficiently tangled in them. “Need help?” I asked, planning on saying too bad if he answered yes. All he did was narrow his glare at me.

I grabbed some ribbon and tape, then made my way to the art teacher to ask him where I should start. Behind the newspaper, he turned out to be sleeping. Well, I thought, guess I can leave. I glanced at Edward, then decided to take my chances asking him.

“Hey,” I said as I walked back over. “The teacher’s asleep. Why don’t we just leave? I won’t tell if you won’t tell.”

Edward scoffed. “He’ll figure it out when the dance is bare of decorations tomorrow.”

I sighed. “Then let’s just get this crap up and get out of here.”

I would’ve been just fine working silently, but Edward couldn’t seem to leave it at that. “There was no need to incriminate me after I stuck up for you,” he said.

“Stuck up for me?” I repeated. “More like stuck your nose in my business.”

“He was going to fail you.”

“So what? Why do you care?”

He exhaled sharply through his nose. “Because it was the right thing to do.”

“Yeah right,” I said, and climbed on a chair to reach the doorway. Edward held the chair legs in place even though I didn’t ask him to. “It’s because you’re lonely and bored, and I’m your favorite easy target for some reason.” I considered stepping on his hand on my way down, but that would’ve been too mean, even to him. So instead I put a streamer in his hair.

He fussed with the streamer. “How would you know if I was lonely?”

I snorted. “Seriously? The only people you ever talk to are your siblings or me, and you clearly hate me.”

With a scowl, he taped up some tinsel pom-poms. “You clearly take as much joy from tormenting me as I hold reluctance to be near you.”

“Gotta take joy from something,” I muttered in a flat voice.

“It makes sense, you know, that you would grow so malevolent, what with your background.”

I prickled. “What do you mean by that?”

“Only that you have been severely neglected and crave attention from one such as I.”

Struck dumb, I sputtered like an idiot for a little bit. Edward nodded and took on a pitying tone. “Oh yes. It’s clear you didn’t receive the care you should have. The absence of your mother in Forks? Your mild fetal alcohol syndrome?”

“My what?”

“Well, your short stature, the slope of your facial features, and lack of coordination are symptoms of—”

“Listen, asshole,” I interrupted. “I don’t care if your dad’s a doctor. You are not going to stand here and diagnose me with shit and insult my mom.”

He held up his hands. “I only thought you might benefit to know about your condition.”

“You’re about to be in critical condition.” That made him laugh. I was totally bluffing, but his laughter irked me further. When he bent down to retrieve another pom-pom, I actually did stomp on his hand.

It was like stomping on concrete. Damn, was his hand bony. He flashed me a look more of annoyance than pain. “Don’t do that,” he said. I stuck another streamer in his hair.

Just then, someone yelled “Hey yo!” and jumped in through the doorway, slapping the top of the doorframe while he was at it.

My spirits rose a little. “Jacob! What are you doing here?”

“Missed the bus to La Push.” He shrugged off his backpack, then shot a quizzical look at Edward. “What are you two doing here?”

Before Edward could answer, I pointed a finger at him. “He’s been insulting my mom.”

“I have not!” he protested.

Jacob bristled and strode up to Edward. Both were tall, but Jacob was taller, and he had the benefit of muscles. “You better not be giving her trouble,” he said, and I marveled at how quickly he could switch from golden retriever to guard dog.

Edward seemed to turn goopy and shaky at that. He took a few steps back. “I swear, I was only trying to be honest and helpful.”

“Even at your most honest and helpful, you’re an asshole,” I said, and Edward retreated to the bucket of tinsel. It was nice to know I had a friend who could intimidate him.

Jacob surveyed the gym, including the art teacher who had somehow slept through all that noise. “You guys decorating for the Spring Dance? Can I help?”

“Won’t you miss the next bus?”

“The next bus won’t come for another two hours.” Grinning again, he grabbed some balloons to blow up. “Are either of you going to the dance?”

“No way,” I said.

“You could not pay me to attend,” Edward said.

Jacob snorted and tied off his first balloon. “So we all agree on that, at least.”

“I’m surprised you’re not going,” I said. “You seem like you’d have fun at a dance.”

“Ha! Yeah right. With what friends?” The notion that Jacob didn’t have other friends in Forks made me feel bad. He must have sensed my discomfort, because he added, “All my friends are on the Rez. No way I’m collecting any permission slips to get them to come over here, ha ha. Do you miss your friends from back in Arizona?”

“I guess,” I said, but the truth was, I wasn’t super close in any of the friend groups that let me hang around. “My best friend growing up was always my mom.”

“Oh.” He busied himself hanging the balloons on the bleachers.

I caught a sympathetic glance from Edward, and scowled his way. “Don’t pity me, Cullen. You have less friends than I do.”

He planted a hand on his chest. “I don’t need fleeting friendships to make myself feel whole. I am self-sufficient as it is.”

“Sure you are, Mr. Gloomy,” I said, and swiped one of Jacob’s balloons. After rubbing it against my sweatshirt, I stuck it to Edward’s pompadour while he wasn’t looking.

He jerked around, but the balloon stuck. “Leave my hair be!”

Jacob laughed. Even I smiled a little bit. Edward finally got ahold of the balloon and taped it to the wall. “Neither of you could ever understand what I go through in this hellish existence. The least you can do is leave my hair alone.”

We all continued to decorate the gym, which made it look crappier and crappier. It wasn’t so bad with Jacob there. Hell, even Edward wasn’t so bad now that there were two of us to egg him on and get a response. If I didn’t know better, the whiny bitch seemed to enjoy our company. At last, we ran out of streamers and balloons, so we played rock-paper-scissors to see who would have to wake up the art teacher. Edward lost. (“I was going to do it anyway,” he said while Jacob and I laughed.)

The three of us walked together toward the parking lot. “You’ve still got time ‘til the bus to La Push comes,” I said to Jacob. “Do you want my dad to give you a ride?”

“Nah,” he said. “I’ll just poke around the woods until it’s time.”

“That’s dangerous,” Edward piped in.

Jacob snorted. “Maybe for white settlers.” That earned him a glare. “I practically grew up in the woods. I’ll be fine.”

“There are beasts out there,” Edward insisted, and it struck me that he seemed as weirdly protective of Jacob as he was of me.

That only made Jacob smile. “Exactly. What do you think I’m looking for?”

I sighed. “You’re not going to find Sasquatch hanging around Forks High.”

“Not with that attitude. You gotta be patient.”

Even Edward seemed amused. “Sasquatch? You believe in that?”

“Sure do,” Jacob said. “Cryptids, monsters, ghosts, aliens. People tell stories about them for a reason. There’s gotta be so many beings out there hiding from human life that the government doesn’t want us to meet.”

I’d heard this spiel from him before, but this time my encounter outside the mini-mart rushed to mind. Something stuck in my throat. I swallowed. “So…” I tried to sound steady. “If there are ghosts and stuff out here, do you think they ever interact with people?”

He nodded. “All the time I bet, but not everyone would notice.” He grew excited. “Why? Did you have an encounter?”

I shoved my hands in my pockets. “Sort of. I think? Something touched my face in a parking lot one night, but there was no one around, and the guy in the store didn’t see anything either.” I decided not to mention Alice and Jasper randomly appearing to rescue me afterward.

Even still, this hooked Edward’s attention more than I thought it would. “You’re certain something touched you? Did you hear footsteps?” His eyebrows arched, making him look both angry and disturbed.

“No footsteps,” I said. “Just something like a cold finger right here.” I traced the path behind my ear and down my neck. Just recalling it made me shudder.

Jacob was in awe, but Edward seemed downright panicked. “You could have been in serious danger! Why is this the first I’m hearing of this?”

I made a face. “Why would I tell you?”

“So you do believe in ghosts,” Jacob teased him, giving him a playful punch in the arm.

The gesture seemed to confuse Edward, because he lost his momentum for a second. Then he fixed his amber gaze on me again. “I only think you would be safer staying home at night instead of traipsing through the woods or tempting fate in dark parking lots.”

“You’re probably right,” I said, “but it’s not like I ever find myself in those situations on purpose.”

By then we reached the front entrance and pattered down the stairs toward the gravel lot. A car honked, and a girl yelled, “Edward! Over here!”

We all looked toward the beige SUV to find Alice waving spastically out the window. “Blast,” Edward muttered. “I didn’t even call for a ride.”

“Do you think she’s just been waiting here all this time?” I asked.

He sighed. “I think as soon as Alice realized I wasn’t coming home at the usual hour, she urged everyone else home and then made Jasper drive her back to wait for me.”

Sure enough, Jasper gave a salute from the driver’s seat.

“What’s it like having so many siblings around your age?” I asked, feeling amused.

“You’ve met them. You can imagine.” He pointed a finger at me. “You. No more risky activities outside after dark. I mean it.”

“Don’t tell her what to do, man,” said Jacob.

Edward glanced his way with that odd look again. Not exactly fear or loathing. Almost bashfulness, minus a blush. “Thank you for your help completing our useless task,” he said awkwardly.

“Yeah, sure. Maybe the dance will suck less than our decorating job.” Jacob waved and ambled toward the forest. “See ya, Bella.” He nodded just as awkwardly. “Edward.” Soon he disappeared between the leaves.

“Where’s your ride?” Edward asked me.

“On the way.” I had texted Charlie earlier.

“I’ll wait with you until it arrives.”

I groaned. “Oh, come on.”

“Don’t complain,” he said. “And don’t discount the unseen. There are things in Forks that cannot be explained. You shouldn’t be out alone if you can’t grasp that.”

He flinched as Alice honked the horn again and hollered his name.

I shook my head. “Fine. If you want to avoid your siblings, you can hang out with me until my dad comes.”

At that, he almost smiled. “It’s a deal,” he said. And the two of us waited side by side on the steps of the school.

Chapter Text

Spring in Forks still meant mostly cloudy days. Any time the sky was true blue instead of gunmetal tinted, Edward Cullen was guaranteed to play hooky. I marveled that he was always able to get away with that, but everyone, even the grumpy art teacher nowadays, treated him like he was royalty.

Today was overcast but almost warm. Edward actually gave me a compliment in science class—“Your punctuality every morning is admirable.” Of course, he had to insult my lack of homework afterward, but that was to be expected.

“Unless you’re actually going to let me copy yours, can it,” I said, and glanced at him. “Lose your contacts, dipwad?”

He scowled at that. Today his eyes were dark instead of yellow.

Today’s experiment involved mixing different white powders in water. Some idiot in the second row was snorting one of the powders like cocaine. At the front of the room, Lauren and Jessica snapped pictures of him with their phones while the teacher wasn’t looking.

“Is it so difficult to make time for a one-sheet assignment?” Edward asked. “It would be a shame if you were to receive a poor grade solely due to that inaction.”

“Why can’t you talk like a normal person?” I retorted, and absently reached for the first bowl of powder.

“Careful—” Edward blurted, but not soon enough. My elbow bumped the beaker of water, knocking it off the table. I tensed instinctively at the notion that it was about to shatter and soak everything, but in that instant, Edward caught it.

He stood at my left before, but now he was in front of me, cradling the stupid beaker. How were his reflexes so fast?!

My reflexes, on the other hand, screwed me over, because the anticipated shock of the beaker falling caused me to drop the bowl of powder. Crash! Ceramic shards and white dust scattered across the table. Edward’s head and the heads of everyone in class whipped toward me.

“Unbelievable,” Edward muttered under his breath.

That jock Mike Newton laughed and elbowed cocaine guy. “Bella’s breakin’ stuff!”

The teacher just sighed and shot me a pointed look.

“Don’t worry, I’ll clean it up,” I said, wishing I could disappear inside my hoodie. A few people laughed, but fortunately, everyone went back to minding their own fucking business.

I grabbed a sheet of notebook paper to sweep the broken bowl onto, but before I could make another move, Edward sprang up, placed the beaker of water on his side of the table, and scooped up every shard with his bare hands. I gawked. Some of those pieces were sharp.

“What the hell,” I said.

He glared at me as marched to the opposite end of the room to deposit the shards in the trash. Somehow, his antics garnered no attention from anyone. Back at my side, he pointed a finger at me. “You are not going to risk getting cut on such a trifle.”

“But you can risk getting cut with your bare hands?” I asked. To my puzzlement, his palms looked as pristine as ever, not even a scratch.

He shrugged dramatically and cocked his head. “For once—for once, Bella—can you try not to get injured?”

Then my face essentially exploded.

I have no explanation for what happened. Maybe some dumb barometric pressure phenomena thanks to the change in the weather. Maybe blushing from the embarrassment I just endured put my blood vessels on edge. Maybe it was just a sneeze gone wrong. But at that moment, the worst gusher of a nosebleed I’d had since childhood struck, spattering all over our powdery desk so it looked even more like a crime scene.

Edward’s dark eyes nearly popped out of his head.

“Oh, shid,” I said before I could stop myself.

“Somebody get the nurse!” Edward shrieked, and once again, everyone in class looked our way. He scrambled away from our table and to the far end of the room, gripping onto the cabinet as if for dear life. Lightheaded at the sight of blood, I frantically scrabbled through my backpack for tissues, napkins, anything but notebook paper.

“Bella,” Lauren said, “you must be really starved for attention today.”

“Can sobeone help me?” I said, and a few people laughed again. Why were they all staring at me when Edward was tweaking out in the corner like a junkie? Finally, someone thrust a box of tissues my way, and I rushed to plug my damn geyser nose. “Thank you.”

Mortified, dying inside, I used more tissues to mop my blood off the tabletop. “Do you need to go to the nurse?” the teacher asked, mildly concerned.

“No, I’ll be fine,” I mumbled, then gathered my massive collection of bloody tissues to toss in the trash. Edward stared at me like a cornered animal as I drew near. I tossed the wads and shot him a look. “What, no bandaid for me this time?”

He flat-out ran out of the room.

I stared after him. Once again, nobody looked up from their work. I bet that Cullen bastard could get away with murder and no one would blink, I thought.

* * *

You’d think that the nicer weather would make me feel better, but that same numbness still managed to creep back. It was always there, in the back of my mind or the edges of my stomach, always ready to dull my joys and dim my prospects. Any given day, I spent hours listening to the same few dozen songs and daydreaming about my character narrowly escaping adventures. For the sake of my grade, I did start drawing in my school sketchbook instead of my private notebook. So what if my sketches were embarrassingly bad? Who gave a shit.

So when Alice Cullen snuck up behind me in the library at lunch and snatched my sketchbook, I didn’t react or resist. “Wow! Your character design is not bad!” she said. “Who is this? I don’t recognize her.”

I shrugged as a response. My special character still didn’t have a name. Lame, right?

“I like her ringlet curls. Very swirly.” Alice handed my sketchbook back and then whipped out hers. “I fill mine with fashion design! Sometimes I copy couture from French magazines, and sometimes I design my own.”

She flipped through the pages so close in front of my face that I didn’t make out a single page. “Cool,” I said, leaning back a little.

Alice slammed the book shut and tucked it back in her chunky bag. “Have you seen the latest issue of Vogue? Jené Mondriette’s silhouettes are so groundbreaking.” She pulled out a magazine and slapped a page open in front of me. “I think this style would really suit you, Bella.”

The dress looked like a bunch of triangles taped together. I chewed on a French fry. “Alice, do you ever actually eat up here, or is lunch period just your time to interrupt mine?”

At that, she giggled. “Silly Bella, why would I spend one of our few free periods of the day eating cafeteria garbage?” She wasn’t wrong with that comparison. Absentmindedly, she grabbed the strings of my hoodie and started acting out some skit with them. “Hello! What’s your name? Mine’s Stringy McStringerson. How nice to meet you. I’m Tassle Knotterwink. Charmed I’m sure!”

I just stood there and defocused my eyes to the stupidity taking place in front of my nose.

Alice dropped my hoodie strings and made a face. “Not even a reaction to that? You’re a tough cookie to crack, Bella.”

“If you’re bored, why don’t you bug Emmett?” I said, gesturing at the jock, who was at the main table trying to balance an egg on top of another egg.

She pouted. “I’ve got endless time to talk to him, but you’re only around a fraction of the next fifty years. Your attention is rare.”

“Great,” I said. “Have fun then, I guess.”

Alice tapped a stain on my hoodie. “Blood? Are you hurt?”

I sighed. “I’m fine. I had a nosebleed in science this morning, that’s all.”

“Is Edward okay?”

“How the fuck should I know?”

Emmett piped in from the table. “Edward has never been okay.”

“You know what I mean,” Alice shot over her shoulder, then turned back to me. “Well, I’m just glad you’re still in one piece.”

“Thanks.” I dumped my leftovers in the trash and took out a book to read.

“Are you lonely here?” Alice asked. “I could grab a book and read with you. Or we can read the same book. I’ll just stand slightly behind you, in the window nook.” I didn’t respond. She looked concerned, but eventually, she grew bored enough staring at me to leave.

I watched her and Emmett go. Does this count as friendship? I thought. If so, it’s kind of annoying.

* * *

Jacob managed to steal some time in the hallway with me between classes. “Hey, Bella.”

“Hey.” I slid a binder into my locker. “Are you okay? You look down.” I tried to sound concerned, but my voice came out flat as ever.

He sighed. “Listen, do you remember that wood carving of mine I showed you a while ago?”

“Oh yeah, how’s that coming?”

“My dad destroyed it.”

I rose my eyebrows. “That sucks. I wouldn’t expect that from him.”

“That’s not why I’m upset,” he said, furrowing his brow. “Well, it’s one of the reasons. But the main reason is, um, well, tradition I guess, and living up to my people’s expectations and failing, and…” He shook his head. “What I’m trying to say is, I shouldn’t have told you that story about the Wolf Man and the Cold Ones.”

“Oh?” I didn’t know how to react to his fervor. “Because it’s insensitive or whatever?”

“Because I shouldn’t have told you. That’s it. So please don’t go spreading it around to other people, okay? I’m in enough trouble as it is.”

“I haven’t told anyone,” I said. “Promise.”

He nodded, only slightly more at ease. “Good. I’m sorry about all the urgency here, but it’s just really important to my tribe in ways I can’t really explain.”

“You don’t have to,” I said. “I understand.”

His lips twitched into a nervous smile. “You don’t, though.”

“I understand it’s important to you. That’s all I need to know.”

The bell rang. Jacob let out a deep breath. “Okay. You gotta split, and I do too. Thanks, Bella. Wanna hang out tomorrow?”

“Sure.”

“Sweet. See ya.”

He trotted down the hall, prompting a teacher to throw a reprimand as he disappeared around the corner. I shut my locker and stared after him. There were only two things I knew of that could get Jacob to turn serious: threats to the people he cared about, or dubious supernatural encounters. I wondered which one had him on edge today.

* * *

I didn’t run into Edward for the rest of the day until art class. Maybe he was avoiding me. That thought made me amused, but also a little suspicious. Was he really so squeamish that this morning’s freak show scared him that much?

The art room today was pretty much chaos. Mike Newton stabbed pencils through his canvas instead of painting it. Two people argued about whether or not Pablo Picasso was a skank. I was trying to clean off a tiny paintbrush when it slipped from my hand straight down the drain. Dammit! Second one in three weeks.

A guy approached me by the sink. “Hey, Bella.”

I barely glanced up, struggling to reach down the drain. No luck. The paintbrush was history. “Um, hey.”

“You doing anything this weekend?”

I scrunched my face, then fixed my expression before turning around to face him. He was a basic looking dude I had probably met before. “Uh, why?” I asked. Stupid question.

“I got two tickets to the movies, and I’d like you to come with me.”

The only thing that interested me less than dating was talking to strange dudes. “Uhh…sorry, do we know each other?”

That offended him. “We’ve sat next to each other in this class ever since you moved here. You laugh at my jokes. How the hell can you pretend not to know me right now?”

To tell the truth, I had never once looked at the guy I had to sit next to in that class. I shook my head at him. “Sorry. I’m bad with faces sometimes.”

“What, were you leading me on?” he said. “Or wait—are you still mad I almost hit you with my car that one time?”

My eyes widened, and my discomfort grew. “That was you?”

He threw up his hands and walked away. I stood there at the sink and tried to ignore as he glared at me from our table. Fuckin’ boys, I thought, and grabbed a new paintbrush from the rack.

No way was I about to return to my seat next to that guy, so I took advantage of the chaotic environment and snuck my supplies to the back of the room by Edward. He shot me a shifty glance. “Do you require something of me?” he asked.

“Some dude just hit on me, so I’m avoiding him,” I said.

“So you choose to torture me instead?”

“At least I know you.”

He let out a cross between a scoff and a snort. “You know nothing about me, Bella.”

I let my guard down. Around Edward, I knew what to expect, and no matter how rude he was, I knew he would never flirt with me. It was funny how we’d reached the point where I felt relaxed around that bitch. For a while, we painted our crappy paintings in mutual silence.

Edward had taken off his beige blazer, revealing his arms were just as pale as his hands and face. He almost glowed under the fluorescent lights with how pasty he was. He wiped his hands on his smock and swirled his paintbrush in the jar. When he caught me looking his way, he glared. “Don’t you dare knock over any more jars of water.”

I snorted. “I’ll try not to.” I added a few strokes to my painting. “Sorry I freaked you out this morning with all the blood. It completely wasn’t on purpose.”

“I know.” He glanced at me nearly imperceptibly. “I apologize for behaving like a screeching child.”

“Yeah, that was really helpful.”

“You aren’t prone to nosebleeds, are you?” He sounded worried.

“No, that was a fluke of nature,” I said. I looked at his painting again. A mess of red and blacks churned around on his canvas. “Abstract art?”

“I paint my torment.”

“Nice.” I had the harebrained idea to try painting my character, but she was looking more like Quasimodo than how I pictured her. I added another stroke that totally messed up her face and sighed. “I should’ve gone the abstract route instead of trying to paint a person.”

Edward studied my canvas. “Her eyes are uneven.”

“Thanks, Captain Obvious, I needed to hear that.”

“Her teeth are unsettling as well. I would suggest painting her with her mouth closed.”

“I didn’t ask for your advice,” I said, but that was actually good advice. I started painting over the mouth hoping it looked like that was my plan from the start.

Just then the sounds of argument rose, and the two girls fighting about Picasso started swinging. The useless art teacher shouted at them, and people chanted, “Fight! Fight! Fight!”

Great, I thought, more drama. Today just wouldn’t relent. Edward stood to back away from the scene, and I followed suit. Then someone shoved me, knocking me backward straight into Edward.

Ow! I slammed against his arm. It was like being thrown against a wall of ice. He caught me, but his hands were freezing, too.

“Are you all right?” he asked, pulling his hands away.

I rubbed my shoulder. That really hurt, but I hoped it didn’t show. “I’m fine.”

The teacher had finally split up the cat fight and yelled at both girls to go to the principal’s office. Reluctantly, people returned to their seats and the murmur of general disorder rose in the art room once again. I tried to get lost in my sucky painting, but I found myself glancing again and again at Edward. His arms didn’t look particularly muscular. So why did they feel like marble?

* * *

When I got home from school, Charlie wasn’t home. Out fishing again.

That dead feeling started creeping back into my gut as soon as I stepped in the door. It’s fine, I thought. Things are okay. Still I felt empty. I made myself dinner, left a portion in the fridge for him as usual, then retreated to my room.

Upstairs, I popped in my earbuds and stared at the ceiling as the light faded from my window. One hour. Two hours. Eventually I heard Charlie come home and get settled in. Three hours. I let My Chemical Romance loop and loop while imagining my character kicking ass and taking names.

Every day sucked. Today really sucked. It wasn’t so bad, I told myself. My lungs felt heavy. I tried vainly to name some positive things about today. I didn’t die in science. Alice was nice to me, kind of. Edward looked stupider than I did.

That Edward Cullen. Again, I felt a spark of curiosity when I thought about him, and feeling anything was worthwhile. Was this an obsession? I didn’t fucking care at the moment.

What is up with Edward? I thought. That rich loser with his contact lenses and his insane reflexes and his marble arms. Why had my nosebleed scared him so much? That wasn’t really the nauseous reaction of someone squeamish. That was fear. I thought back about all the other weird stuff about him.

The bandaids. He did seem obsessed with the idea of me getting cut in particular, above all other harm that could come to me. Even that awkward time he asked me about my period.

His reflexes. This morning wasn’t the first time he surprised me with them. I remembered my first day in Forks, when he saved me from getting hit by that car. He came out of nowhere. Come to think of it, same thing that time in the woods.

Playing hooky. He was always absent on sunny days, like clockwork. Why didn’t anyone but me question that? Even the art teacher seemed to stop caring after that time we served decorating the school gym. Everyone loved the Cullens, especially Edward. No one questioned their strangeness but me, and acted like I was crazy for it. It was almost as if he had them under a spell.

And he was just so pale and cold…

At that point, my mp3 player looped back to the song “Vampires Will Never Hurt You.”

And something clicked.

Jacob always talked my ear off about his conspiracy theories and proof of the supernatural. Was it so outrageous that such beings could exist? Maybe it wasn’t. Maybe there was something special about the unknown in Forks.

I thought about his story about the Cold Ones, those bloodsuckers that could walk around in the daytime without consequence. I thought about the funny way Edward talked, like he was transported from a different time. I thought about his reactions to my blood.

I barely breathed. Staring up in the dark, phosphorescent colors swirled before my eyes. MCR flowed from my ears through my veins like electricity. I felt like the man who first discovered the dinosaurs.

Vampires were real. Vampires were real, and Edward Cullen was one of them.

Chapter Text

The next day, I came to school prepared. I had spent most of the night on my laptop googling vampire lore and collecting my own arsenal of supplies. Today I was going to prove my theory.

He sat in the back of the science room, same as always. A chill wriggled down my spine as I approached him. Was I crazy for what I was planning to do? Maybe, but I had to know the truth. And he was so against me getting hurt that I decided to push my luck.

“Hey,” I said, then added, “jerk.” I didn’t want to seem too friendly.

He flashed me his glare, then refocused on his worksheet. “You are not to touch anything breakable today, am I clear?”

“Yeah, yeah.” I sat down and played with my necklace—a little silver cross my mom had gifted me randomly some years ago. I had to dig through boxes just to find it. According to the tag that had still been on it, it was pure silver.

Edward took notice. “That’s new.”

“Do you like it?” I asked, and pointed the cross charm at him.

“Not particularly. I prefer to be reminded of the living Christ, not the instrument of His death.”

Dammit. I had forgotten he was a Mormon. He didn’t seem to shrivel or anything in the cross’s presence. Maybe I needed the kind with the little dead Jesus attached to it. I dropped my charm and feigned like I was focused on my worksheet.

Later in English lit, I held up a compact mirror to pretend to check my nonexistent makeup. My actual intent was to check if Edward had a reflection. Lo and behold, he did have one, and when he noticed I was using a mirror to check on him, he glared back in it. Shit.

In history, while everyone else was working on group projects, I pulled out a half-empty water bottle and acted like I was walking to throw it in the trash. It was Holy Water I made myself after looking up a tutorial on the internet. The tutorial didn’t mention you had to be Catholic, so hopefully whatever I did worked. Edward wasn’t Catholic either, so I hoped it would have some effect on him.

On my way to the trash bin, I pretended to trip and spilled it on Edward, right down the back of his neck. He jumped up and whirled on me. “What was that for?”

“Sorry, I tripped,” I said. “Are you…okay?”

“I’m soaked! Dash it all…” He glared at me and rubbed the back of his neck. “What is your problem with me today?”

My heart beat faster. I hoped he didn’t notice, but he could probably hear it. “Same problem I have with you every day, bitch.” I tossed the empty bottle and hurried back to my desk. Maybe I didn’t make the Holy Water correctly, or maybe he was just immune.

Finally, in art, I sat by Edward again to avoid that other guy. Edward gave me a suspicious look but quickly lost himself in his painting. I reached into my purse for the last of my items: garlic powder from Charlie’s spice cabinet. While Edward wasn’t looking, I scattered some on our table.

With a curt sigh, he set down his paintbrush and turned toward me. “Stop.”

I hid the garlic shaker in my palm and froze. “What do you mean?”

“Just stop.” He gestured at the table. “Do you think I can’t smell the garlic? What’s next, a wooden stake?”

My pulse quickened. He figured it out. I hadn’t really planned how a confrontation would go. “No weapons allowed in school,” I said lamely. “I’m also not trying to kill you.”

“Nothing you tried today would have killed me.”

“Is this a confession then? You’re a—”

“Not. Here.” His voice was barely a murmur underneath all the classroom commotion. Shutting his eyes, he drew a deep breath, but didn’t exhale. “I suppose I have to explain. Come with me after school.”

Follow a vampire alone to a second location? Yeah, that sounded real safe. “Why,” I whispered, “so you can kill me?”

“If I wanted to take your life, you wouldn’t be here now.” He glared at me. His eyes shone yellow today. “You’re not going to leave me alone unless I tell you, I know. And you need to stop poking your nose into matters you don’t understand. So maybe this will finally make you grasp that.”

I folded my arms. “If you try anything with me, my dad will find out and arrest you.” A hollow threat against someone who presumable drank blood for a living.

“So you agree to follow me after school on my terms?”

I tried to muster some real fear, but I felt nothing but my slightly elevated heartrate. “Sure. Why not,” I said. The worst that could happen to me was becoming emo Mormon food, and then at least I wouldn’t have to go to school tomorrow. On impulse, I put out my hand to shake, like we just made a deal.

Edward stared for a second, then shook. His grip was like a freezing granite vice.

* * *

A few girls hung around at the end of class to try and flirt with him, but he told them to leave and they did. He just compels people, I thought, half in disgust, half in envy. I wished people would leave whenever I told them instead of bothering me.

We didn’t want people seeing us leave together, or rumors would go crazy. We also didn’t want Edward’s siblings to see us. So, avoiding the parking lot and the front entrance, we snuck out through the gym and made our way toward the woods.

“You’re awfully calm,” Edward said as we wove through the trees.

I waved away some gnats. “What should I be doing, yelling and screaming? ‘Aah, help, my lab partner’s a vampire?’”

“You don’t even sound shocked.” He sounded offended. “This would be a world-shaking epiphany to any other human.”

“I dunno,” I said with a shrug. “I’m more surprised that more people haven’t caught on.”

“Other people succumb to our charms,” Edward said. “But you see right through them. You always have. There’s something wrong about you, Bella, and that’s the only reason I’m brought you out here instead of merely lying to you.”

“Your lying also sucks,” I said.

He glared at me. “With our charms, it is quite effective.” He stopped and sat gingerly on a fallen log. “This should be far enough from civilization. Ask me whatever you want.”

I remained standing and leaned against a tree. “So, like, do people come in different flavors?” I asked.

That earned me an incredulous look. “How morbid.”

“Well, do we?”

He tapped his chest. “I meant you could ask any question about me.”

“I don’t really care much about you.” Now that I knew for sure he was a vampire, that was good enough for me.

Edward waved his hands. “Aren’t you the least bit curious what I am? What I can do? Aren’t you the tiniest bit frightened? I’m a monster.” There was a soft whooshing noise, and he was gone. Startled, I whirled around at his voice in the distance behind me. “As if you could outrun me!”

He appeared beside me again and uprooted the tree I had been leaning against, as though pulling up a weed. “As if you could fight me off!” With a colossal thud, he shoved the tree back into the ground.

I stumbled at the aftershock. My heart pounded as he stalked toward me. Shit, maybe I AM about to die, I thought. I stood my ground even when Edward leaned in so close I could feel his cold breath on my face.

“Everything about me was designed to kill,” he said.

“Even that stupid haircut?” I asked.

With a snarl, he tossed his hands in the air. “Why! Why can’t you take this seriously!”

I shrugged. “Are you going to kill me or what?”

He clawed at the bags under his eyes. “Do you know how much willpower it takes at any given moment not to kill you? You’re my singer, Bella! By God’s grace alone are you alive right now!”

“Wait,” I interrupted. “I’m your what?”

“It’s what we call a human whose scent is utterly irresistible to a vampire. A singer is unique. Personal. When a vampire meets their singer, it’s all they can do not to lose control of their bloodlust.”

“That’s why you’re obsessed with me,” I said.

“I don’t want to harm you!” he added quickly. “But your blood quite literally sings to me whenever you’re around.”

“I was kinda worried it was like a Dracula-Mina thing,” I said. “This is kind of a relief.”

His frown deepened. “You would rather I thirst for your blood than want to woo you?”

“Well, yeah. Anyone would.”

He shook his head. “No, Bella, I assure you nearly every girl in our school would disagree with you.”

I snorted. “You think you’re such hot stuff, huh?”

“I know what they think about me. I hear their thoughts.”

“Wait, really?”

Edward returned to his log and sat down as carefully as before. After his show of strength, I realized he was scared his butt would leave a crater. “Oh yes. As if I wasn’t enough of an abomination, there’s that talent. I can read minds.”

Shit, I thought. Okay then, so you already know I was borderline obsessed with figuring you out for a while, huh?

I stared at him. He stared back. Birds chirped and flies buzzed. Finally, he said, “No reaction to that admission?”

“I thought you were gonna answer me,” I said.

“Oh. Oh, I can’t read your thoughts.”

I swallowed a sigh of relief. Rock on. Then you can’t hear me calling you a fuckwad. “Why not me?”

“I don’t know,” he said. “You’re the only person with a quiet mind I’ve ever met. Around you, I can actually hear myself think. I can let my mind rest. It’s a reprieve, except for the fact that your blood—”

“Right, right, I’m a singer,” I finished.

“You bring me such calm and such temptation. You’re like my own personal brand of heroin.”

I wrinkled my nose. “Don’t call me that, okay?”

“It’s refreshing, I mean. To be around a girl whose mind isn’t consumed by lustful thoughts.”

I rolled my eyes. Nice to know that I feel so empty that my mind is literally empty.

“Are you sure you don’t have any questions or requests for me?”

“Fine,” I said. “Turn into a bat.”

He snorted. “Vampires don’t actually do that.”

I raised my hands. “What do you mean? That’s kinda your whole thing.”

“No, drinking blood is ‘kind of our whole thing.’”

“Okay then, fine, show me your fangs.”

At that, he actually smiled. “We don’t have protruding fangs either.”

“Seriously? They’re not, like, retractable?”

He opened his mouth to show his perfect white teeth, then said, “I assure you, these are sharper than diamonds.”

“No turning into bats and no fangs? That’s lame,” I said.

“Excuse me? Did you miss me tear out that tree minutes ago?”

“Vampires are kind of losers,” I said.

“Fangs are for losers,” he retorted. “I am a peak killing machine as I am! Why would I need silly fangs?”

“Okay, loser, so how many people do you kill regularly?” I asked, half-joking, half-planning to report him to Charlie if the answer was high.

He crossed his arms and stuck his nose in the air. “Zero. I’m a vegetarian.”

“I thought you were a peak killing machine.”

“My family chooses to only feed on animal blood. We choose not to harm humans. It’s the morally superior option.”

His family. I had suspicions about his weird siblings, but this confirmed they were all vamps. “Animals aren’t vegetarian, dipwad.”

“It’s as close as we can be ethically, Bella.”

“So that time I got lost in the woods, that’s what you were doing then? Actually hunting animals?” He nodded. “Do they have different flavors?”

Edward made a face. “Nothing tastes as good as human blood. Predators’ blood comes close. Herbivores’ blood tastes ghastly, but it does the job.”

“So you have killed people before.”

He stared at me with those sunken eyes. “I can’t take back what I’ve done.”

“How recently?”

He inhaled deeply. “Several hundred years ago.”

Shit. “How old are you?”

“Seventeen.”

“How long have you been seventeen?”

“A while.”

Just then, marbled sunbeams scattered through the forest. Edward ducked into the shadow of a tree. “That’s why you skip school on sunny days,” I said. “Direct sunlight burns you, huh?”

“Wrong again,” he said. “You don’t want to see what happens.”

“Well, now I do.”

The sun dipped behind the clouds again. He sighed. Then, with a bit of fanfare, he rose and strode into the nearby clearing. “Very well. Watch this.”

In a few moments, the sun returned, and Edward went supernova.

It was as if he was plastered in tiny shiny panels like a disco ball. Or like a diamond, refracting rainbows and dots of light in every direction. I had to shield my eyes, he was so bright. Out of nowhere, I burst out laughing.

The sparkling Edward glared, shooting rainbows from his eyes. “How dare you laugh?”

“Sorry,” I said. “You look ridiculous.”

“Ridiculous? This is the skin of a killer, Bella!”

That made me laugh harder. Scowling, Edward disappeared and reappeared a few moments later, holding a squirming groundhog much like the one Charlie was always trying to shoot. Without warning, he opened his mouth like he was biting into a triple-decker burger, sank his teeth into the groundhog, and slurped until the little guy was still. My laughter died in my throat, replaced by revulsion.

Edward tossed the groundhog aside and spat out some fur. “Now do you believe me?”

“That,” I said, “was gross.”

“It tasted gross. Don’t make me prove myself like that again.”

I stepped closer to him. He was still sparkling like a disco inferno. “Why does your skin do that?” I reached for his hand, so he held it out to show me. The surface of his skin seemed to be made of millions of tiny white prisms. Oddly enough, his skin was soft, though cold. “Why’s your skin soft now?”

“The less force you use, the less hard it feels.” He held up his hand. “High-five.”

I did it, then instantly cradled my hand. It was like slapping a stone wall. “Ow!”

“Vampires are crystalline,” he said. “We’re beings frozen in time. Petrified, if you will.”

Massaging my sore hand, I pulled my phone from my pocket. “I should probably go home now. Thanks for not eating me.”

“What? That’s it?”

“What else do you want?” He grabbed both my wrists. “Hey!”

“I want—need you to promise me you won’t breathe a word of this to a single soul,” he demanded.

“Yeah, yeah, of course I won’t,” I said. “Who would I even tell?”

“Jacob Black, for one thing.”

Shit. Jacob would have loved to know vampires were real.

“Your gossipy friends Lauren and Jessica for another.”

I scoffed. “They aren’t really my friends.”

“Really? They spend an inordinate amount of time thinking about you.”

“Wait, really?” I shook my head. I did not want to know my classmates’ thoughts. “Never mind. If it’s important to you, I promise I won’t tell anyone about the whole vampire thing.”

“You better not,” he threatened. “Because we are sworn to secrecy from humans, and beings far worse than I will come after you if they learn what you know.”

“I swear. It’s just between you, and me.”

“And me!” a perky voice piped in.

Edward and I spun around, startled to find Alice sparkling in the middle of the clearing. She giggled and jumped up and down, shaking her fists. Edward’s face fell as she grabbed the two of us and pulled us into a hug. “Secrets are so exciting! I’m so happy we can share this.”

Chapter Text

On my way into class the next morning, Jacob stopped me, looking upset. “Bella, wait. Are you all right? What happened yesterday?”

“What do you mean?” I asked.

“I thought we were gonna hang out.”

My heart thudded. “Shit! Sorry, Jacob. I forgot.”

“You forgot?” he asked. “Or you got roped into something with Edward?”

My heart beat even harder. “Huh?”

“I saw you follow him into the woods yesterday,” Jacob said, and in my head I cursed up a storm. “Is he blackmailing you or something? Making you do shit for him?”

“No, it’s nothing like that,” I said. “It’s…for science class.”

He frowned. “Really?”

I felt like shit for lying to him, but what else could I do? “Yeah, we were looking at leaves and moss and shit for a project. I’m so sorry I forgot about our plans. How about today instead?”

“I’m busy today,” Jacob said. “Some other time.” He nodded. “See you, Bella.”

“Right.” I watched him disappear into a classroom and tried to steady my breathing. I never had to keep a secret this big from a friend before.

That morning, when I woke up, I had to question whether yesterday was even real. Everything from Edward zooming around and ripping up trees to Alice randomly showing up all sparkly. Now as I inched my way to the back of the science lab, Edward’s shifty gaze assured me it wasn’t just some massive hallucination.

“So, now what?” I muttered to him while the teacher passed back our graded assignments.

“Now nothing,” he answered just as quietly. “Things go back to the way they were, and you keep to your own business.”

“Come on,” I said. “Alice knows, and you said no one could know or terrible things would happen to me.”

“I know, I know.” He looked grim. “Maybe she’ll keep her mouth shut.”

From what I knew about Alice, keeping her mouth shut wasn’t one of her strong suits. “I know I’m gonna run into her at lunch.”

“Avoid her.”

“Easier said than done.”

Edward let out an exasperated sigh. “I should have known it would come to this. This is your fault, you know.”

“My fault?”

“If you had only kept your damn nose out of our affairs, you wouldn’t be in danger.”

I didn’t feel like I was in danger. I didn’t feel much of anything at all.

* * *

I took my lunch out to the school lawn instead of the library, but sure enough, Alice found me. Grinning, she plopped next to me in the grass and pulled out her fashion sketchbook. “I’m so happy I don’t have to hide around you anymore,” she said. “I’ve never had a human friend before. This is so rad.”

“Edward said some horrible beings would come after me if anyone found out I knew about vampires,” I said warily.

She waved her hand. “Oh, he means the Volturi. Don’t worry about them. They won’t find out we know.”

I could’ve asked what’s a volturi, but I had other questions on the mind. “Were you following me and Edward yesterday? And why, just to spy on us for fun?”

“No,” she said, and tapped her head. “I had a vision that Edward would tell you about us, and I just had to go an meet up with you for myself.”

I blinked slowly. “A vision.”

She giggled. “Yeah! Edward told you about talents, right? They’re rare, but some vampires have special powers. He’s got the whole mind-ready thing. I get visions.”

“Of, like, the future?”

“Yep! Sometimes little snippets, sometimes whole scenes.” She sketched a dress while I crunched on my shitty pizza slice. “Gosh, it’s nice to tell someone about it. Sometimes they’re so inconvenient. Like when I randomly saw Rosalie and Emmett in the bathtub—”

“I don’t need to know that,” I cut in.

“You’re so normal,” she said.

“Huh? Because I’m human?”

“No, I mean you’re just so normal about this.” She cocked her head, her smile an inquisitive black line. “You’re not scared; you’re not stoked. You’re not even that curious about the details.” She made claws with her hands. “I could turn you into a vampire right now, and you’d probably just be like ‘aw lame, now I can’t eat pizza.’”

“Wait, so that’s something you can actually do?” I asked. “Vampire bites turn you into a vampire?”

“Sure does,” she said, then pointed to her wide open mouth. “Aah ah aaah ah.”

“Didn’t catch any of that.”

“I said, it’s our venom. We’ve got venom instead of spit. If just a drop got into your bloodstream, it’d infect you and you would turn.”

“Gross,” I said.

Alice laughed. “Yeah! It’s painful, too.” She frowned. “At least, from what I remember.”

“So you, Edward, the rest of you used to be regular humans?”

“I…guess?” There was a hesitant catch to her voice, but she quickly shook it out. “Anyway, what gives with you? Did you already believe in vampires to begin with or something?”

I shrugged. “Not really. I just knew there was something different about your family.”

She nodded sagely. “Yeah…you did always know. There was always something off about the way you reacted when we spoke to you. Like you weren’t impressed. Not charmed.” With a scribble, she finished her dress and started on another one. “Rosalie noticed it, too. She said there was something wrong with you, and that we should avoid you. But it was just so refreshing to talk to someone who wasn’t awestruck by my style and flair.”

Today her style and flair happened to be a pink-rhinestoned jacket and a shredded crop top anyone else would have been sent to the office for wearing at school, with shoes that were somehow flip flops and boots at the same time. “Edward’s not happy, you know,” I said.

She sighed. “Edward is never happy. I swear, misery is his status quo. He needs to accept that some people like having friends, and that includes friends with special humans.”

“He’s afraid you’ll tell the rest of your family.”

At that, she seemed scandalized. “If Rosalie finds out you know about us, she’ll kill Edward. If Emmett finds out, he’ll tell Rosalie. And if my sweet honey sugar baby Jasper finds out, he’ll kill you.”

I made a face like a frog.

“So you see, I’ve got just as much reason to keep this secret as you two do,” Alice finished. “As long as they don’t find out, we can keep on…”

For a few seconds, her eyelids fluttered in a blinking fit. Then she said, “Never mind. They’re going to find out.”

“Wait, was that a vision?” I said. “What did you see?”

She hesitated. “Well, we were all at a table, and you were there, and we were kind of, um…” Her voice lowered to a tiny murmur. “Voting on whether or not to let you live.”

“What?”

“But maybe that won’t be for a really long time!” she said, bubbly again. “There’s really no way of knowing. Until that day comes, we can totally be friends!”

“Alice,” I said curtly. “You just saw your family voting on whether or not to kill me.”

She waved her hand. “When the time comes, I’ll make sure they all vote in your favor. Don’t worry so much.”

I sighed. There was no use arguing. “Whatever. Just try not to let them find out soon.”

She nodded happily and launched into another infodump about Vogue. I half-listened, preoccupied with the thought that I might die soon.

Let’s face it: I had thought about dying before. I didn’t really want to off myself, but there had been times I just wanted to disappear. But at this moment, the notion that I might die to a pack of vampires disturbed me. I did not like blood. Just picturing myself bleeding out made me shudder and rub my wrists. It didn’t feel like a reality with Edward yesterday, but now…

It’s fine, I told myself. Alice and Edward are on my side. They would stand up for me.

Funny, but even though that thought didn’t reassure me, it did leave a warm feeling in my chest. 

* * *

Nothing of importance happened the rest of the day. I bumped into Rosalie in the hall, but she just gave me a look of disgust and sashayed away. Edward looked nervous as hell in every class, but school went on as usual.

I took the bus home. It stopped where the road turned to gravel, and I braced myself to walk the rest of the way back. Clouds of gnats and clammy breezes accosted me along the path. Finally, I made it to our driveway, but I wasn’t alone.

A tall, thin figure stepped from behind a tree as soon as I stepped foot onto the driveway, startling me. “Who the fuck—”

“Howdy, Bella,” came his Texas drawl.

My heartbeat quickened. “Jasper? What are you doing here?”

He inhaled slowly, then exhaled. His hollow eyes were black as tar, fixed straight on me like I was a target. “I’m real sorry ‘bout this. But you need to die.”

Chapter Text

 Before I could even scream, he whisked me into his arms like a damsel. Wind rushed around us as he ran, stealing the breath from my lungs. Jasper ran like a speeding train, straight into the woods, dodging trees as if it was nothing.

Moments later, he set me down on a pile of leaves. A tiny squeak left my throat. I stared up at him, entirely bewildered, as he took a few steps back.

“Can’t very well kill you at your own house,” he said. “It ain’t right.”

“Don’t kill me at all,” I croaked, scrambling to my feet. All I had with me was my backpack, and nothing in there would be remotely useful in a fight with a vampire. “Why—why do you have to kill me? I didn’t do anything to you.”

“You’re not supposed to know about us,” Jasper said with a frown. “So I can’t let you live.” He didn’t sound angry or vengeful, just matter-of-fact. As if this were some dumb chore he had to do.

“How did you even find out I knew?”

He shrugged. “Edward felt extra nervous. Alice felt extra excited. I asked Rosalie what was up, and she said Emmett overheard you and Alice talking at lunch.”

Shit, I thought. “Well, why can’t we all just keep this a secret and be friends?” I asked, cringing at how corny that sounded.

“Humans ain’t supposed to know vampires exist. You could get us in some real big trouble.” He sighed again and rubbed the back of his neck. “Look, I’m real sorry, but everything is much easier for you, me, and everyone else if you just die.”

He took a step toward me. I stumbled back against a tree.

“Do you have any sort of preference?” he asked. “I could snap your neck real quick so you don’t feel it.”

“I’d prefer you just not kill me,” I said, darting behind the tree.

He countered around, ambling slowly. “If it’s okay with you, though, I could bite you and drain your blood. You bein’ Edward’s singer and all, we can’t risk you bein’ full of blood around him.”

My stomach flip-flopped. “I thought you were vegetarians.”

“Supposed to be, but keepin’ yourself from killin’ and drinkin’ your singer is hard,” he said. “Edward’s been clean so long, and I’m not great at the whole ‘vegetarian’ thing in the first place. I’d gladly take the fall so he won’t have to. So if I have your consent to drink your blood, I’d be much obliged.”

“No thank you,” I said, putting some more distance and trees between us. “I want to live.”

“It wouldn’t be nothing dirty,” he said reassuringly. “Nothing like those sexy vampires necking in the movies. I’m married. So I’d just bite down on your arm or something.”

“Jasper, I really don’t want to talk about blood,” I begged.

He sighed. “Well, you gotta make some kinda choice, ‘cause it wouldn’t be polite if I—”

A beige blur shot through the trees and slammed straight into him. “Don’t you dare touch her!” Edward shrieked, and punched Jasper with such force that he knocked over a tree upon impact.

Jasper rose and shook out his wavy hair as if that were nothing. “Edward, go home,” he said calmly.

Edward let out a feral snarl, which would have been funny under different circumstances, but I doubted this was the right time to laugh. He struck again, a swift hook that connected with Jasper’s face with a sound like a thunder clap.

Rubbing his jaw, Jasper rolled his shoulders and struck a fighting pose. “Okay. We do this the hard way, then.”

Fists flew faster than my eye could keep track of. Edward tackled Jasper to the ground. In a flash, he was back on his feet with a hand around Edward’s neck. With a powerful kick, Edward sent Jasper flying into another tree. And so on. The two hissed and growled like superpowered weebs. I peered from behind a tree, palms gripping the rough bark, heart racing. Here were two vampires essentially fighting over my blood. If Edward lost this fight, I was as good as dead. All the while, the two shouted a conversation.

“I’m doin’ this for your own good!”

“She’s innocent! You can’t touch her!”

“You broke the laws, now face the consequences.”

“Leave her alone!”

Now and then Jasper would try to lunge my way with his teeth bared, giving me a stab of terror each time. But every time, Edward intercepted him and pulled him back into the scuffle. It finally dawned on me that I shouldn’t just be standing there watching. I should run.

I threw off my backpack, turned to sprint away, and immediately tripped, stumbling in a heap among the sticks and leaves. Dammit! Like an idiot, I floundered trying to regain my footing. At one point, I scratched my hand on a thorny branch. “Shit!” I hissed. Just what shark-infested water needed: fresh blood.

Jasper leapt over Edward and a few bushes, landing right in front of me. I may have screamed “Fuck!” A fraction of a second later, Edward was there, restraining him with what looked like all his strength. Inch by inch, Jasper heaved himself toward me, baring his perfect white teeth. I was definitely yelling “FUCK FUCK FUCK!”

Suddenly, a third figure broke between the two of them, a Ken doll dressed in a long white coat. Carlisle held the two an arm’s length apart, gripping Edward by the throat and Jasper by the jaw, with his fingers jammed in his mouth. “Boys! Now what is all this about?” he said.

“Ah ah ahh ahh ah,” Jasper gabbled at the same time Edward strained out, “He…started…it!”

Like an owl, Carlisle turned his head my way, facing me with his cold smile. I shuddered and clutched my injured hand. “Now let me guess what happened here. Jasper got the munchies, and Miss Swan was out here being accident-prone in the woods?”

Jasper made a disparaging noise and bit down on Carlisle’s hand. That did nothing.

“I’m disappointed in you, Jasper,” he went on. “We are vegetarians.”

Jasper thrust a finger at Edward. “Ee ah ah ahh!”

Carlisle gasped. “Edward! Why would you do that?”

“She…figured…it…out,” he choked out.

Carlisle swiveled his head toward me again, and I panicked and pointed at Jasper. “He tried to kill me!”

“Now, let’s all calm down,” Carlisle said. “I’m going to let you two go, and you’re both going to behave like civilized gentlemen. All right?”

The two made various noises. I, for one, was fine with Dr. Cullen restraining them, but he nodded like their responses made sense and dropped them both. Edward coughed and rubbed his Adam’s apple while Jasper massaged his jaw and eyed me carefully. I stared back, terrified he would try to charge again.

“Now then,” Carlisle said. “Who wants to start?”

Jasper spoke quickly. “Edward told her about us so I tried to clean things up and Edward interfered.”

Carlisle frowned. “You can’t ‘clean up’ a person, Jasper.”

“She can’t know—”

“Son, you don’t think straight when you’re hungry.” For a few brief moments, Carlisle vanished. Then, in a blur, he sprinted back, towing a freshly dead deer as if it weighed nothing. “Here. Drink this.”

Jasper heaved a sigh, but didn’t resist. With a grimace, he bit down into the deer’s neck and sucked hard. I cringed, but couldn’t look away. As he drained the deer, his eyes faded from black to smoky amber to that golden yellow I had always assumed was contacts. Freaky, I thought with a shiver.

“Better?” Carlisle asked.

Jasper wiped his mouth and nodded dejectedly.

“Good!” With zero effort, Carlisle tossed the deer carcass over his shoulder. It crashed down a hundred yards away. “Back to the matter at hand. Edward, you know the consequences of showing your true self to humans.”

“It’s not my fault,” he protested. “There’s something different about Bella. She’s been able to see through our charms from the start, and I can’t even hear her thoughts.”

Jasper nodded. “I just thought she didn’t feel much when I met her,” he said. “But I think it’s that I can’t feel her feelings either.”

Oh great, I thought, the guy who wants to kill me is an empath.

Carlisle studied me in that doctorly way. I felt like I was on an operating table. “You are a special one, aren’t you Miss Swan?”

“I don’t know about special,” I said. “But I promise I won’t tell anyone you guys’ secret. I swear.”

That made him laugh. Not very reassuring. “I trust you as much as I trust your father, Bella.” He sighed and gazed into the distance. “That Charlie Swan. What a man. A heart dedicated to justice, a good head on his shoulders, and that luxurious mustache.”

I didn’t know how to respond to that.

“Boys, go on home,” he continued. “We’ll talk this over in private. Bella needs to get home too, and I will be the one to escort her.”

“You all know where I live?” I asked warily.

“No, but it’s easy to follow your scent,” Carlisle said, and offered me his hand. “Let me see that scratch of yours. I can help.” He flashed a look at the other two. Sharing dirty glances at each other, they stalked off into the woods.

“You’re not going to bite me, are you?” I asked, hesitant to stick out my hand.

He smiled. “Not once in over 360 years have I consumed human blood.” He gestured to my hand. “Come now. I’m a doctor.”

At last, I outstretched my hand. He took it gently and unwound some bandages from his pocket. It was overkill for such a small scratch, but I was just glad he wasn’t going to bite me. “You’re lucky I came when I did,” he said.

“Special vampire hearing, or something?” I asked.

He laughed. “No, as soon as Alice noticed Jasper was missing, she asked me to find him, and suggested this area.”

Awesome, so Alice knows where I live, I thought.

He finished bandaging my hand and motioned forward. “Shall we?”

I retrieved my backpack and followed Dr. Cullen through the woods. Damn, Jasper had carried me far. I was expecting Carlisle to sniff around like a dog, but he walked normally. At last, we arrived at my house.

“Well, thanks for saving me, I guess,” I said awkwardly.

“My pleasure.”

“You don’t think Jasper will try that again…do you?”

He laughed. Not really a joke, I thought. “Jasper means well, but sometimes he slips up like this,” he said. “It won’t happen again.”

Just then, Charlie’s truck pulled into the driveway. He came out smiling. “Carlisle! What brings you here?”

“Charlie! Wonderful to see you. I was just dropping off Bella after a school-sponsored health seminar. She’s very bright.”

The two chit-chatted for a while, drawing closer until they were nearly nose to nose. “Anyway,” Carlisle finally said, “I need to get going. It was truly wonderful to see you, Charlie.” He started off down the gravel road as though he was going to take the bus.

Charlie sighed, hands on his hips. “That Carlisle Cullen. What an admirable man.”

I trudged up the stairs and plopped face down on my bed. From vampire attacks to whatever the fuck that was, today was unrelenting. If I could stop existing for just a little while, that would be nice.

Chapter Text

Approaching Edward in science class at the ass-crack of dawn each school day was always awkward, but especially so the day after his brother tried to kill me. He fidgeted in his seat. “So,” I said. “That whole thing with Jasper…”

“You don’t need to thank me,” he said. “I’d rather not talk about it here.”

“Okay.”

“But I do have something to tell you—later, at a time when less people are around.”

I glanced around the classroom. Lauren, Jessica, and several other girls stared back at us and snickered when I met their eyes. Great. More gossip about me in relation to Edward was just what I needed.

Edward didn’t say much the rest of class. It wasn’t until after the bell rang and the classroom emptied that he looked my way again. “You are invited to dinner at my family’s house this evening.”

My stomach flipped at the double meaning. “Oh, wow. You know, I’d rather not.”

“This isn’t a request,” he said tightly, then promptly turned and left.

That bitch, I thought, starting to sweat. I would have rather stayed after for the mathletes team meeting than walk into a house full of vampires. How do I get out of this?

* * *

At lunch, Alice and Emmett predictably jumped me in the library. “Bella! I’m so excited that you’re going to visit later,” Alice gushed.

“I’m not,” I said, flashing both of them a wary glare.

She giggled, and Emmett rubbed the back of his neck. “No, silly, you don’t have an option,” Alice said. “Edward asked to escort you privately. If you don’t go with him, Jasper volunteered to come pick you up instead.”

Fuck me, I thought, gritting my teeth.

“He feels bad for scaring you yesterday,” she continued. “I’m glad you’re all right.”

“Jasper’s the last of us to switch to vegetarianism,” Emmett added.

“Cool,” I said. “Great excuses for trying to kill me.”

Alice grabbed my hands, too swift for me to dodge her. Her fingers were like ice. “That’s why you need to come over tonight. So we can all talk about what to do next like a civilized government and not just go winging it.”

I pulled my hands away and shivered. “I distinctly remember you having a vision of me waiting on a vote for whether I should die.”

“Exactly! That’s probably what’s going to happen.”

“Your persuasion skills are really something else,” I said, so dry my voice scratched.

Alice huffed and crossed her arms. “Boo! Not being able to charm you sucks. I’m trying to help you here, Bella. Can you at least see that?”

“Whatever,” I said, and dumped the rest of my lunch. I didn’t have an appetite.

* * *

Over the rest of the school day, I tried to adjust to the idea of dying in a house full of vampires, and I decided that as long as they didn’t suck my blood until after I was already dead, I’d make peace with that. Carlisle was a doctor, after all. He probably knew how to put me to sleep without any pain.

And there was always the chance that Alice and Edward would convince the rest of their family that I wasn’t a threat and that they could let me alone. Best case scenario in my book, which meant it probably wouldn’t happen.

And, fine. There was a tiny part of me that was still curious about the mysterious weirdo Cullens, and getting to see their vampire den might clear some of that up.

But even if I had accepted that I was going to dinner with the Cullens, that didn’t mean I was cool with Edward being so annoying.

“Why do I have to go home first?” I asked as he dragged me down the road to my own house. “Why can’t we just get this over with?”

“You have to make the best possible impression,” he said, tapping his foot while I fumbled with my keys. “And you can’t come over looking like that.”

We were lucky that Charlie was out fishing after work as usual. “You know my dad would kill you if he knew I brought a boy over,” I said as he marched up the stairs, presumably finding my room by scent.

“I doubt your father would be able to kill me.”

“It’s a figure of speech, smartass.”

“Ah!” He whirled around and shook his index finger at me. “No swearing. You need to be on your best behavior, understand?”

“Alright, alright.”

Edward swiped through my closet inhumanly fast. “Are these all the clothes you own?”

“They’re all I brought from Arizona.”

He sighed dramatically. “Then I guess this will do.” He pulled out a blue blouse and a long khaki skirt, then shoved them my way. “Get changed.”

Glaring, I took the clothes to the bathroom. Once I was fully dressed, I stared at my reflection. The blouse had a little bow in font that didn’t serve any purpose but decoration, making it one of the girliest articles of clothing I owned. I wasn’t one to wear skirts often, so this one hadn’t gotten much use aside from taking up space in my closet. I only brought it from Arizona in case I needed something nice to wear for job interviews. Business casual, I thought, then came out to confront Edward. “Okay, I’m ready.”

He put a hand over his mouth. “You look absolutely ravishing.”

“I look like an office intern,” I retorted, shooting him a look.

“This may be too provocative for dinner,” he said, and took to rooting through my closet again. “Here. Try this on.” He threw a brown top and set of slacks at me.

“Are you fucking kidding me?”

“Language!”

With a groan, I retreated to the bathroom to try on the new outfit. It looked just as drab and semi-formal as the previous one. “Happy?” I asked.

Edward tapped his chin. “No, I was right the first time, with the prettier outfit. Put it back on.”

“You’re kidding.”

“The pop of color is chic, and the skirt is long enough to be modest. Put it back on.”

Grumbling, I did as he asked. “I’m not changing again, so you better like this outfit.”

“I love it,” he said, with a weird longing in his voice.

I wrinkled my nose. “I thought we agreed neither of us wanted you to have a Dracula-Mina obsession with me.”

He scoffed. “Are you insinuating I’m lusting after you? Absolutely not.”

I gathered the other clothes he pulled out to return to the closet. “So then what, are you just jealous you don’t get to wear such a ravishing look?”

He went silent.

I glanced over my shoulder. “What, no retort?”

“I know it’s wrong,” he replied in a tiny voice.

“Huh?” His eyes darted from me to the ground. It hit me that he was taking me seriously. “Wait. No way…”

“Silence,” he hissed.

“You’re gay, aren’t you?” I said, putting all the pieces together. “That’s why the girls in class disgust you so much, and why you dress like—well—that.” I gestured from his pompadour to his pretentiously disheveled collar.

“Stop talking, stop talking, stop.”

I was pulling theories out of the air, but his reactions only confirmed them. “That’s it. You’re gay, and you’re projecting your sad beige fashion fantasies onto me.”

“Stop. Talking.” Edward plugged his ears and scrunched his face. His voice cracked. “Curse your perception. Curse you in general, Bella Swan. All you have done in the brief time we’ve known each other is ruin my already torturous life.”

It dawned on me that this was a pretty major secret to tease him over, and that was a bit cruel, even to a pompous vampire bitch. “Hey,” I said more gently. “I don’t care if you like guys or girls or nobody. And I’m already keeping the vampire secret, so what’s one more secret on top of that?”

“It’s bad enough I’m a bloodthirsty, inhuman beast,” he quavered, staring at the ground. “But this…this on top of it all…I’m an abomination.”

I sucked in through my teeth. “Your religion is pretty against being gay, huh.”

“Enough with your snide digs.”

“I’m not being snide. I feel for you.” I didn’t feel much of anything, but I sincerely wanted him to feel better. I was still reeling with this newfound info and re-examining all my memories of him in a new light. “Edward. You’re not an abomination. At least, not for being gay. I don’t care what the Book of Mormon says about it. You’re allowed to like pretty blouses and dudes.”

“Enough.” He threw up his hands. “We are getting entirely off track. This evening is supposed to be about you, not me. We have to make sure you make a good impression on my family. Nothing else is relevant, and you will not bring any of this up.”

“Of course not,” I said quickly, nodding. “You don’t have to worry about that.”

He glared at me, then checked his watch. “Any longer, and they’ll start to wonder if you’re not coming, and go searching for you.”

“Screw them,” I said. “Are you going to be okay to go?”

He raised his eyebrows. “You’re not afraid? Recall Jasper’s close call yesterday.”

I shrugged. “I just accidentally exposed a huge hidden part of you, right before we’re gonna go confront your family. If you need to take some time to yell at me or whatever, go ahead. Just…if Jasper comes back, do any fighting outside.”

He stared at me, no longer angry-looking. “You are a mystery, Bella Swan.”

“Listen. I don’t try to make your life—or, um, undeath—harder on purpose,” I said. “I’m sorry I brought this up, and I was serious when I said I wouldn’t tell anyone.”

We watched each other awkwardly for a little while. Edward smoothed his hair backward and drew a deep breath. I wondered if he even needed to breathe, and if he just did it out of habit. “Well. I would rather we arrive in a timely fashion. So let’s go.”

I followed him down the stairs. “Were you planning to walk all the way, or catch a bus?”

He let out a sharp laugh. “I said a timely fashion.” He motioned toward me. “Hop onto my back.”

I drew back. “You’re joking.”

He knelt down. “Climb on. This will be the fastest way.”

Groaning, I latched my arms around his neck and my legs around his torso. The fact that he felt like marble instead of some sweaty dude somehow made things less awkward and more uncomfortable at the same time. “This is humiliating,” I said.

“You better hold on tight, spider monkey,” he retorted.

Before I could figure out if that was an insult or a nickname and demand he never call me that again, he launched the two of us into the trees like a rocket taking off. All that left my mouth was an unflattering scream as he leapt from one tree to the next a hundred yards away. I clutched onto his collar like there was no tomorrow.

He paused at one tree long enough to say, “Stop screaming.”

“I can’t really help it!” I shot back.

With a scoff, he sprang into motion again. I gritted my teeth to keep from screaming as my stomach dipped and rose with each jump. He may not have been able to turn into a bat, but he could certainly soar through the air like a flying squirrel. If I closed my eyes, it was kind of fun. The rush of the wind around me, that weightless feeling followed by each plummet.

Eventually, he landed and deposited me on the ground. My knees buckled, but he caught me and extended a hand. “Welcome,” he said without much enthusiasm, and gestured to the huge house before us.

Chapter Text

Full of sharp angles and sleek panes of glass, it looked kind of like a Frank Lloyd Wright building. It jutted up from the side of the mountain, secluded and surrounded by trees. The whole thing almost reminded me of a villain lair, this modern white building in the middle of wilderness. “You really are rich,” I said.

“Carlisle has had centuries to build up a fortune,” he said. “Oh, and there he is.”

Dr. Cullen stood at the front porch, waving at us. In a flicker, he stood beside us and extended a hand to me. “I was afraid you weren’t going to come on your own accord. Come, follow me.”

I didn’t take his hand. He finally withdrew it and began walking up the immense walkway.

Inside the house was just as white and modern as the outside, with plush carpets and glass tables. I wondered how a bunch of vampires kept white carpets so clean, then remembered they did their hunting outside. The thought made me shudder.

Alice jumped up from a fancy leather couch. “You’re here! Look Jasper, she’s here!”  She shook his arm. He gave me a salute. I gave him a wary gaze back.

“She’s here?” asked a woman from another room, followed by some clanking pots and pans.

“About time,” Rosalie said, entering with Emmett.

“Hi Bella!” he said. “It’s so weird to have you over here.”

“Let’s get this over with,” Edward said.

“Edward, that’s no way to speak to a guest!” A woman in her mid-20s with perfect honey-brown hair bustled over, dressed like a ‘50s housewife complete with an apron. She approached me with a friendly smile as plastic-perfect as Carlisle’s. If he was Ken, this was definitely Barbie. “Hi, dear. You look lovely.”

“Thanks,” I said with a clumsy curtsey.

She laughed, a warm sound. “No need for those formalities. I’m Esme. Are you hungry? I hope so, because I’ve got a plethora of ravioli prepared for you.”

“She’s not hungry,” Edward answered quickly.

I flashed him a look, then said, “Sure I am. Thanks for cooking for me.” I couldn’t remember the last time anyone had done that for me, save Charlie’s horrible attempts at breakfast a few months ago. The savory smell of dinner wafted from the kitchen, and there was no way I was turning that down.

“Everyone,” Carlisle said, “to the dining room.”

Each of the Cullens took their spot around a large oval table. I took the last seat on the very end. Esme set down a whole platter of pasta in creamy red sauce with heaps of cheese. Before I dug in, I looked to the rest of the Cullens, who didn’t even have plates. “You all aren’t having any?”

“We don’t eat regular food, dear,” Esme said.

“Tastes like cardboard,” Alice piped in.

“Blood-diet only,” Emmett added.

“That’s one reason I was so excited for you to come over,” Esme went on. “Your name sounded Italian, so I thought, ‘oh I know! Ravioli!’ I haven’t had the pleasure of preparing a real meal in ages.”

Great, I thought, so they’re all gonna stare at me while I eat. I tried to enjoy the ravioli, telling myself this was hopefully not my last meal. Joke’s on all them. This tastes GREAT.

“So, Bella,” Esme said. “How did you and Edward meet?”

The two of us shared uncomfortable glances. “Science class,” I answered. “We have a bunch of classes together.”

“And of course Edward couldn’t keep his distance from you,” Rosalie interjected.

He glared at her. “I did my best!”

“A likely story. How many times did you follow her around with a pack of bandaids?”

“She’s accident-prone!”

“It’s not all Edward’s fault she found out about us,” Alice spoke up. “Bella’s special. Charms and talents don’t affect her.”

They all went back and forth some more while I finished as much ravioli as I could. Esme must have sensed I was full, because she took the remaining platters back to the kitchen. Once she settled back at the table, Carlisle stood. “So,” he said. “Bella. You know by now that humans aren’t supposed to know about our kind. And we cannot let your knowledge of us go lightly.”

“That’s what I was told,” I said, glancing between each of them. Edward fidgeted, Alice and Emmett smiled back at me, Rosalie seemed exasperated, and Jasper looked like he was using all his willpower to dissociate. Everyone’s eyes shone yellow in the brightly lit room. That was good, I assumed. That meant they wouldn’t be super hungry for my blood.

“But we are a peaceful coven,” Carlisle continued. “We value human life, and we prefer to settle big decisions democratically. With that being said…” He gestured to each of the other Cullens. “What should we do about Bella and her newfound knowledge?”

Rosalie answered. “I still think the most humane thing would be to euthanize her.”

“Ouch,” I said. “Okay.”

“It’s not your fault,” she told me. “But all of us could get in serious trouble if our government finds out you know about us. And they would torture you before they drink you. We won’t.”

“All in favor of putting Bella down?” Carlisle asked, as though I were a sick dog.

Jasper and Rosalie rose their hands. She flashed a look at Emmett, and he sheepishly put his hand up, too. “Come on,” I said.

He shrugged. “Sorry, Bella. It’s not personal.”

“All in favor of letting Bella live?” Carlisle then asked. He, Esme, and Alice raised their hands. A tie. We all looked at Edward. “Son,” Carlisle said, “you need to vote.”

Edward met my eyes and swallowed hard. “She needs to live,” he said, “but—”

“Excellent!” Carlisle said, and Esme clapped. Rosalie sucked in her breath and rubbed her temples. “So it’s decided.” He addressed me. “Bella, we’ll take you back home so you can pack whatever you would like to bring with you.”

I was taken aback. “Wait, what?”

“I’ll tell Charlie you had a rare heart defect, got called to the hospital during school, but couldn’t be saved.”

“Whoa, whoa, whoa…”

He ignored me and kept talking. “And tonight, just try to relax. It will be your last night as a human.”

“What are you talking about?” I blurted loud enough to get his attention.

Carlisle blinked. “We voted to spare your life,” he said. “Which means you need to be turned.”

“To a vampire?” I cried.

Alice clapped. “Then you get to live with us! You can share my room until we figure out which spare room is yours.”

“Sorry,” Rosalie said to me. “I tried to get you the easier option, but…”

“I don’t want to be a vampire,” I yelled, standing abruptly from my chair. The dinner sat heavily in my stomach. Bewildered, I looked around the room. “I don’t want to live with you. I just want to go back home and not worry about vampires coming to kill me.”

Carlisle shook his head. “It’s not that simple. The Volturi—”

“I know, I know, there’s a scary vampire government that forbids me knowing shit,” I said. Esme gasped and put a hand to her mouth. “I mean, stuff,” I said, wringing my hands. “Listen. I’m sorry I figured out Edward was a vampire. But I promise I can keep this secret. Can’t that be enough? I’m nobody. No one would suspect I know anything, because no one cares about me except to make fun of me. Your secret is safe.”

“I like her,” Esme whispered to Carlisle. “She’s feisty.”

“Bella,” Carlisle said. “I know you’re trustworthy, but there are laws in place for a reason.”

“That’s not her fault,” Edward broke in. “She said it herself, no one would think to press knowledge from her. We keep to ourselves, as does she. Can’t we agree to let her live as she is, at least for the time being, and just wait?”

“Son,” Carlisle said, “we can’t…”

“We can,” he insisted. “If you really care about human life, you’ll let her live. And if anyone finds out about her, I’ll take the full blame and whatever punishment the Volturi comes up with myself.”

The table went silent. I locked eyes with Edward. “I don’t want you to live with us,” he said. “Living forever is a curse, and I know you don’t want that either. I’m putting my welfare in your hands. If anyone finds out about us, we’ll both pay dearly. But until then, life will go back to normal. Will you accept this deal?”

I didn’t even blink. “Yes.”

We both looked to Carlisle. He seemed shifty. “This is quite a risk,” he said.

“We’re both willing to take it,” Edward said. “Do I have your support?”

He hesitated. Then he addressed the table. “All in favor of Edward’s idea?”

Edward stood with his hand raised. Alice, Emmett, and to my surprise, Rosalie raised their hands, too. Esme wore a face of concern, and Jasper still looked spaced out.

Carlisle sighed. “Well, son, you got the majority vote…”

“No! This is too dangerous, Edward,” Esme protested. She pleaded to me with her eyes. “I promise we’ll take good care of you here. I’ll treat you like one of my own. You can have as much companionship or privacy as you want.”

“Darling,” Carlisle said softly, placing a hand on her shoulder. “They’ve already made up their minds.”

She let out a shaky sigh, then rushed out of her chair to hug Edward. With that, the family meeting dissolved. The Cullens got up from their seats and talked among themselves.

Rosalie approached me. I regarded her hesitantly. “You better make good on your end of this deal,” she said. “Your life depends on it.”

“Why did you vote in favor for me?” I asked. “I thought you didn’t like me.”

She sighed. “I didn’t like you because I knew you were getting too close to finding out about us. Now that you know, there’s nothing I can do about it. We both don’t want you living here forever, Edward needs to learn his actions have consequences, and if the Volturi does find out about you, I’ll take care of you before they get to you so you don’t suffer.”

I pressed my lips. “Well. Thanks.”

She planted her hands on her hips. “You’re really lucky to be alive, Bella. Try to enjoy your life as long as you can. It’s precious.”

My life is worthless, I thought, but a nagging thought in the corner of my mind said I wouldn’t have fought so hard to keep my life if I really believed that. I nodded at her. “Thanks, Rosalie, I’ll—I’ll try.”

At last, Esme let go of Edward, and he made his way to me. “Guess we’re in this together,” I said. He glared back. “What? You just stood up for me.”

“My life is in your hands now.”

“Are you technically still alive?”

“Bella. You need to take this seriously.”

I shifted my weight from one foot to the other. “I am taking it seriously. I’m just not being overly serious, because that’s what looks suspicious to people.”

That took him aback.

“Edward. You can trust me.”

We studied each other for a while. No doubt he was thinking about the other secret he accidentally revealed in my room. Finally, he said, “I should get you back home.”

I raised my eyebrows. “Are you gonna make me ride your back again, or…”

“It’s the most efficient way.”

“Ugh. Fine.”

Several minutes of extreme tree-hopping later, we landed near Charlie’s property and walked to my backyard. “Well,” he said. “We’re here.”

“Hey,” I said. “Thanks for everything. I really mean it.”

He didn’t respond.

“And I’ll see you in class tomorrow, and I’ll just act like nothing’s different.”

He nodded. “Good night, Bella.” With that, he disappeared back into the trees.

Well. That was that. I crept up to the back door and rifled through my keys. Before I could insert the right key, the door swung open with a creak. Charlie greeted me with a stern frown and a raised eyebrow.

“You’re out late. Was that a boy I just saw you talking to?”

Chapter Text

Some days, life is bearable, even when shitty things happen to you.

And other days, life kicks your ass.

This was one of those days. I woke up with no motivation to live, let alone go to school. But, as always, I pulled on my drab hoodie, prepped breakfast for myself and Charlie, and drove my clunky truck off to class.

Edward and I had barely talked since that day I visited his house last week. Once I even got a papercut, and he just silently slipped me a bandaid. Today, he could’ve been wearing a hot pink jumpsuit for all I knew, because it was all I could do to slump at my desk and stare at my worksheet to get through the morning. I wished I were back in bed, so I could curl up under my covers and disappear for a while.

All day that feeling pervaded me. Let me disappear. Let me disappear. I couldn’t tell if anything out of the ordinary happened between first and last period, because my own thoughts were too loud. My chest ached. I stared down at my blank sheet of paper in art class. What was even the point of going through the motions?

Someone tugged on my hoodie.

I blinked, snapped out of my spiral momentarily. Edward looked at me with concern. “Are you well?” he asked. “You’ve been more withdrawn than usual today.”

“Yeah, I’m fine,” I said.

Still his brow creased. “Alice said you didn’t even respond to her at lunch. And I’ve watched you droop and stare off into space all day.”

“Don’t watch me, you creep.”

“Would you like to see something cool?”

Hearing Edward say the word “cool” in his vaguely British voice was amusing enough to pique my interest. “Like what?” I asked.

“After class,” he said, “follow me.”

“Oh, I thought you meant, like, right now.”

“You don’t have plans, I’m sure. Come with me, and I’ll show you where I go when the world is too much.”

I hesitated, but it wasn’t like I had anything better to do. If it had been anyone but Edward, I would’ve flat out said “no.” My energy level was zero. But the notion of learning another vampire secret intrigued me, and Edward’s presence was weirdly comforting. So I finally said, “Fine, but no more piggy-back rides.”

Once class ended, we waited a bit for the halls to empty, then snuck out the gym. I followed Edward down the road and through the woods again. This afternoon was too muggy for my hoodie, but I didn’t care enough to take it off. So, sweaty and dodging bugs, I trudged through the crunchy leaves left over from last fall and cursed at Edward in my head. I’d give him this: I couldn’t spiral into depression if I was too busy being annoyed at him.

“Where exactly are we going?” I asked.

“There’s a clearing in the middle of the woods,” he explained. “I like to go there when I need time alone.”

“We’ve been walking forever.”

He stuck up his nose. “It’s quicker when I’m by myself. Enjoy the nature, or something.”

Grumbling, I kicked over a big mushroom shaped like a dick. Nature could go fuck itself.

Finally, Edward said, “Here we are,” and gestured through the trees. I surveyed the clearing, and had to admit: this was worth the walk.

Before us lay a field full of wildflowers, surrounded on all sides by trees that formed a crown above us. Soft gray clouds filtered the light through that hole, giving the scene a calm, pastoral feeling. It was the kind of muted natural beauty painted on the side of a china cup, or a Beatrix Potter children’s book. Silently, Edward motioned for me to continue forward. We did.

Shin-deep in clover, violets, and other tiny flowers, we stood amidst the blooms for a little while, then sat down. I didn’t even care if there were bugs in the grass. The sweet air hummed with gentle bees and birdsong, without a sign of human activity. Not even the sound of cars ruined the stillness.

Edward spoke in a hushed tone. “Out here, when it’s just me, I don’t have to deal with hearing anyone else’s thoughts. Just my own. And they’re not so bad when I’m surrounded by flowers and trees. Here, I can almost forget what I am.” He lay backward into the grass. “I figured, you wouldn’t tell anyone about this place. And you deserve some mental silence, too.”

I didn’t know what to say. I stared up at the gray sky until my eyes watered.

Edward stopped talking. Eventually, I joined him laying down in the grass. My tears spilled past my eyelids and down my cheeks. I continued to stare at the sky and listen to the bees. The trees swayed around us. And for one afternoon, being alive wasn’t so bad after all.

* * *

In the weeks that followed, I actually spent more and more time with Edward. Hanging out in the meadow after school gave me space to decompress, bitch to him about my problems, or just sit in silence for a while. He bitched to me too, about everything from his family to his struggle resisting the urge to kill me every time he came near me.

It wasn’t so much a judgement-free environment, since we both judged the hell out of each other. Moreso, it was a consequence-free environment. I wasn’t shy about speaking my mind against him, and neither was he. We could tell each other anything without fear of ruining some non-existent expectations.

He even talked to me about boys.

“You mean to say you feel nothing toward the opposite sex?” he asked after complaining how tortured he was having to sit near some attractive dude in math class.

“Nope,” I said.

“Not one pang of lust? Not even towards other girls?”

I shrugged. “Just the thought of romance or sex grosses me out. I just don’t get how it’s a big part of other people’s lives.”

“I envy that,” he muttered, picking a buttercup and twiddling it between his fingers. “Sometimes I’m so consumed by desire, it’s akin to bloodlust. I hate it.” He sighed and gazed at the clouds. “What would Carlisle think if he knew I was…this way?”

I snorted. “I’m pretty sure Carlisle himself is gay for my dad.”

“What?”

“Have you heard the way he talks about Charlie?”

Edward huffed. “Carlisle would never cheat on Esme. That I know for a fact.” He frowned harder. “And I know he knows how to keep proper feelings in place.”

With my earbuds in, I listened a bit to my song before speaking again. “It’s kinda weird you call your dad by his first name.”

“What’s weird is that so do you.”

“Yeah, but that’s because I hardly know him,” I said. “He was barely a part of my life until I moved here. You and Carlisle have been living together for what, hundreds of years?”

“Two hundred, roughly.” He paused for a while. “He didn’t always pose as my father, you know. We used to go as brothers. That was before the others were born.”

That took me aback. “You’re older than the rest of your family?”

“Everyone but Carlisle. Yet forever 17, I’m still the youngest.”

“Aw man, that sucks.”

“Things were different before the others. He was more like an older brother than a father. He’s only 23 himself. Now…” He gestured broadly. “We’re a family. A coven. There’s safety in numbers, I suppose, but sometimes I miss the way things were.”

I chewed on my lip, then said, “Can I ask a sensitive question?”

“Depends.”

“How did you die? Since that’s how being a vampire starts, right? By dying?”

He sighed. “You’re close. Influenza,” he said. “I believe my mother and I caught it on a trip to Spain.”

“The Spanish Influenza?”

“No, that was much later.” He set his brow. “Carlisle was our family doctor. We were always close. My mother’s dying wish was that he would save me. When he couldn’t defeat the virus, he resorted to turning me before I could succumb to death.” He sighed again. “Sometimes I wish he didn’t. Sometimes, I feel like I should have died back then, alongside my mother.”

“You must miss her,” I said softly.

He shut his eyes. “If I concentrate, I can still remember her face. Her voice is harder to picture, but sometimes, by chance, I’ll hear a stranger who sounds like her, and my whole body jolts to attention. As if she were really there.”

“I’m sorry.”

He was quiet for a while. “I’m sorry I once insinuated your mother didn’t care about you.”

I made a face. “That’s okay. She probably doesn’t.”

“But I know you were close.”

“It’s complicated,” I said. “My mom…was always like my best friend to me. But not like a mom. If that makes sense. And she would go between a good mood and a bad one like that.” I snapped my fingers. “So I was always on edge trying to make sure she was happy. It’s actually kind of nice not having to live like that anymore. But I do miss her.”

He watched me while I spoke, then nodded. “You never wanted to move to Forks.”

“No. But it was the best option I could think of.”

“Likewise,” he said. “Forks is the most overcast city in the country. We moved here to try to avoid being detected.” He tossed the buttercup in my hair. “I never counted on someone like you moving here.”

I brushed it out, holding back a snicker. He stole my move.

“What are you listening to, anyway? From what I can hear, it’s just noise.”

“’My Chemical Romance.’”

“I thought you despised romance.”

“No, as in the band. Here, listen.” I popped one of my earbuds into his ears. “It’s better with these.”

He made a face in protest, but he listened to the rest of the song. And the next one. And the next one. “Noise,” he finally said, but I knew I had just created a new MCR fan.

I smiled.

* * *

Maybe I was spending too much time with Edward Cullen, because when he invited me to his family baseball game on Saturday, I stupidly said yes.

Vampire baseball can’t be more boring than my weekend was going to be, can it? I reasoned to myself. Turned out I was in for another day of hiking off to the middle of nowhere.

“There’s a 60% chance of thunderstorms today,” Edward said. “We can only play ball when it thunders so no one questions the sheer amount of noise there is when a vampire hits the ball.” Now, dressed in a striped baseball shirt and wearing what was almost an excited grin, he led me to the rest of the Cullens in a field. Everyone wore matching baseball outfits.

“Bella! So glad you could come,” Alice said, jumping up and down. “Now we have enough people to have even teams!”

Carlisle chuckled and plopped a baseball cap on her head. “No, Miss Swan will be the referee.”

“What? No fair,” Rosalie protested, pointing at me. “Does she even know anything about baseball?”

“I don’t,” I admitted.

Carlisle held up his hands. “Rosie, no need to get upset. I’ll explain the rules to her. And anyway, you know it wouldn’t be fair making a human play against us.”

Rosalie grumbled. “She didn’t have to come here at all, you know. Now Jasper’s gonna be making his ‘repressing the murder urge’ face all day.”

“I don’t know what you mean,” Jasper said with his usual dead-eyed stare. “I’m great around humans. They don’t bother me none no more.”

Emmett pounded his fist into his other hand and slugged Jasper, almost knocking him over. “C’mon, let’s play ball!”

Carlisle gave me a whistle and explained the basics of baseball. I tried to keep up, distracted by the rising wind, swirling clouds, and sporadic thunder. Any minute, the sky could pour on us, and I hadn’t even brought an umbrella.

And so, the game began. Edward, Carlisle, and Esme played against Alice, Jasper, Rosalie, and Emmett. Every pitch whizzed by faster than my eye could track, and whenever the bat connected with the ball, the crack indeed resounded like thunder. The stones being used as bases were so far apart I could hardly see them, and when anyone hit the ball, it soared into the distance.

I had never seen Edward smile so much. He was the fastest of the Cullens, a complete blur when he raced around the bases or into the outfield to try and catch the ball. I guess he really had to hold back in gym class, and now he finally got to let loose. He caught one of Rosalie’s hits, and she snarled at him.

I tried to make the right calls, but the whole game was just so hard to follow. How could I know if Esme was safe at second base when she just zoomed off half a mile in a few seconds? With the exception of Rosalie, no one seemed to mind that I had no idea what I was doing.

Was it overwhelming? Yes. Was it also entertaining? Kind of, actually. I imagined this was how it’d be like watching superheroes play baseball.

After nearly an hour, I was beat from rushing back and forth, but the Cullens showed no signs of tiring. “Aren’t any of you ready for a water break?” I asked without thinking.

“Are you volunteering to be the water?” Alice retorted and stuck her tongue out at me.

“Bottom of the ninth,” Esme shouted gleefully. “Edward, it’s up to you. If you hit a home run, we automatically win.”

Edward pounded the bat into the dirt, leaving huge divots. He grinned. “Do your worst, Alice.”

At the pitcher’s mound, Alice returned the grin and wound up to throw.

With another thunderous crash, Edward hit the ball far into the outfield. The others started to run, but the ball had sailed far beyond the field, into the trees. A home run for sure.

Edward laughed triumphantly, then started to jog to first base. No need for him to hurry since he had already won, right?

Wrong. Far in the distance came the echo of a thunder clap, but from the direction the baseball had flown. Someone had caught the ball.

I knew I didn’t imagine it, because Carlisle tensed suddenly and shot a look of worry at Esme. “Son,” he barked before Edward could make it to first base. The others gathered at home plate, wearing an assortment of confused and troubled faces.

“What’s the problem?” Edward asked, the last to approach. He caught Carlisle’s eye, and his smile vanished.

“Someone guard Bella,” Rosalie whispered. I whirled to her, surprised by her sudden defensive stance.

Edward instantly rushed to my side. “What?” I asked, but he shushed me, tapping his foot.

“Try not to breathe so quickly,” he murmured, and put a cold hand on my shoulder. “Stand downwind of me.”

“Who goes there?” Carlisle shouted over the wind. “Come out!”

We all stared in the direction the ball had gone. It dawned on me that Edward was tapping his foot to the beat of my pounding heart. Slowly, a figure approached from the woods, holding the baseball above their head. They approached leisurely, without a care in the world. At last, I could make out their impossibly pale skin and perfect white teeth.

Another vampire.

Chapter Text

“Aww,” he said with mock disappointment. “Did I miss the ballgame?”

I stared at the newcomer, hoping I concealed my shock. He had long black hair twisted into locs and typically African American features, but his skin was as marble-white as the Cullens’. Unlike the Cullens, his eyes shone blood red. Casually, he tossed the ball into the grass and cracked his knuckles. “James, Victoria! Come on out; there’s eight of them.”

Another figure trotted out from the trees—a woman. Gorgeous red curls framed her face. She dressed head to toe in leather, with high-heeled boots that would have killed me to walk in. With a face like an old-fashioned femme fatale and bright red lips, her beauty rivaled Rosalie’s. Like the first guy, she had deep red eyes.

“Eight to three, that is a bit uneven,” she said, popping her hip. She even walked like a femme fatale. “I guess we have to play nice with them then.”

“We don’t have to,” a third voice shouted. Last to come into view was a pretty average-looking man wearing camo and a brown leather jacket. He shared the pale skin and red eyes as the other two. Two things were not-so-average about him, however. One—he wore no shoes or socks. Just trekkin’ it barefoot through the woods. And two—he had fangs. They showed when he smiled. His canines ended in sharp tips, as if they had been filed to a point.

“Who are you?” Carlisle yelled. “And what are you doing here?”

The other two flanked the man with fangs, who lead them toward us. “We’re just some nomads passing through,” the leader said. “No need to get territorial.”

“Shame we missed the game, though,” said the other guy. “Looks like everyone dressed up and everything.”

The leader swept his gaze over each of us. Most of the Cullens wore steely glares, but Alice shuddered.

“So,” said the woman, “I take it you’re a coven?”

“We’re the Cullens,” Esme proclaimed. “And this is our land.”

The leader held up his hands. “Again. We were just passing through when we heard others around here.” He gestured to himself. “I’m James. This is Laurent, and that’s Victoria.”

“Are y’all okay?” Laurent asked, motioning towards us. “Your eyes are all sickly and yellow.” His gaze stopped on me, and he raised an eyebrow. “Except hers.”

Just then, the direction of the wind changed, blowing on my back in the direction of the newcomers. James took a deep inhale, then grinned straight at me. “Oh, I see. You brought a snack.”

He lunged in my direction. I flinched. Instantly, Edward flung himself in front of me and growled. The other Cullens formed a protective circle around me, hissing. Laughing, James stepped backward and shoved his hands in his pockets. “Awfully protective. Is this your pet?”

“She’s mine,” Edward snarled. “I’m saving her for later.” My stomach did a little flip-flop. I knew he was trying to protect me, but his acting was a little too realistic for comfort.

“She smells delectable,” James said. “Are you sure I can’t have a little bite first?”

“I said she’s mine,” Edward roared.

Victoria and Laurent joined James’s side and took fighting stances. “Ooh, vewy scawy,” Victoria said, and bared her teeth. “Are we done playing nice then?”

“I’m down for a rumble if that’s what this is,” said Laurent.

“Fellows,” Carlisle said, stepping in between our two groups. “Please. Let’s handle this like civilized beings.”

“We’re not civilized, sunshine,” James said, and ran his tongue along his fangs. “We’re vampires.”

“As we said before,” Carlisle continued curtly, “this is our land, so you will do things our way. And I say we’re going to talk things over without violence.”

James glanced at me one last time, then straightened up. “Fine,” he said. “What do you want to talk about?”

“Local law, for one thing. Our kind aren’t welcome everywhere in this part of Washington, and if you trespass on the wrong land, you’re bound to regret it.”

“I’m terrified,” James said, flashing a leer at Alice. She flinched. Jasper tightened his fists.

“Kids,” Carlisle said. “Take Edward and his singer home. Jasper, you stay here. Esme and I will settle things with our new friends.”

“Don’t call us friends,” Victoria said bluntly. “We didn’t come here to chit chat.”

“Honey,” James said, and her hard demeanor melted. “Let’s see what they have to say.”

Laurent shrugged. “It’s not like we had any other plans for the day.”

Carlisle ushered the three of them toward the woods, followed by Esme and Jasper, who towered over Esme like a bodyguard. “Get on my back,” Edward ordered me, and for once, I didn’t resist. Seconds later, we were careening through the trees back toward the Cullen estate.

Edward didn’t put me down until we were all inside with the doors locked. He stepped away from me with his head in his hands. “This is all my fault. I never should have invited you to our game.” I backed my way to the leather couch and sat down, reeling a little

“I knew there was something up with Carlisle and Esme,” Rosalie said. “They’d been hiding something from us. They knew there were other vampires around.”

“Baby,” Emmett interrupted.

“Or maybe they just had a suspicion,” she conceded. “Either way, they didn’t tell us.” She stamped her foot. “I hate that he treats us like children! We’re legal adults.”

“Edward isn’t.”

“Edward is close enough.” She turned to Alice. “Did the leader of that trio seem strange to you?”

Alice didn’t react for a second. Then she blinked. “Huh? What is it?”

“I said there was something off about the leader of that trio.”

“He had fangs,” I said, and Alice flinched at my voice.

“Yeah,” Emmett agreed. “Little ones. Like, what’s the point of filing down your teeth when they’re already super sharp?”

“To boost his ego,” Rosalie deduced. “I know what type of man he is. I’ve killed that type of man. Pray to God those three really are just passing through.”

“This is all my fault,” Edward said again, cradling his head in his lap.

Rosalie barely gave him a glance. “Don’t get all broody now. None of us suspected there were other vamps around, or else we wouldn’t have let Bella tag along.”

“I hope Jasper’s all right,” Alice whispered, clasping her hands.

“Don’t worry about Jasper,” Rosalie said more gently, then cocked her head at her. “Are you okay, Alice?”

She jerked. “Huh?” She smoothed out her pixie cut. “Oh. I’m fine.”

“Vision?” Rosalie asked.

Alice shook her head “no” and retreated up the stairs. We stared after her, puzzled. Rosalie seemed especially concerned. “What a bizarre afternoon.”

Emmett came up behind her and put an arm around her waist. “You’re not scared, are you babe?”

“Scared? No. Worried?” With a crack of thunder, the sky outside opened, streaming water down the windowpanes. Rosalie bit her perfect plump lip. “Bella, you should stick around until the rain stops.”

“Okay,” I said. Not like I was going to disagree to that.

“Edward, quit moping. Go stand lookout for the others to come back.”

He glared at her with his sunken eyes, but he didn’t protest.

Once he left, Emmett and Rosalie turned their attention to me. “I always knew you’d be trouble,” she said softly, bitterly.

“Sorry,” I said, feeling awkward and out of place.

“We’re going to do whatever it takes to keep you safe,” she continued. “If we’re lucky, Carlisle will convince these newcomers to skip town.”

I hesitated. “Hey, Rosalie? What do red eyes mean?”

“Red eyes?” she repeated.

“If your eyes turn black when you’re hungry and yellow when you’re full, what do red eyes mean?”

She creased her brow. “Vampires only have yellow eyes when they refrain from drinking human blood. Most vampires have red eyes.”

I got the implication. “Oh.”

“This is the world you stumbled into, Bella,” she said, spreading her arms. “It’s ugly, it’s primal, and it’s unavoidable once you’ve seen it.”

“Do you think they’re going to tell the vampire government about me?” I asked, suddenly stricken by the thought.

“I have no idea what they’re going to do.” Still frowning, Rosalie caressed Emmett’s cheek. “Babe, stay with Bella. I’m going to check on Alice.” With that, she left upstairs.

Emmett plopped down on the other end of the sofa and cocked his head at me. “That’s my Rosalie. Always takes care of everyone.”

“She’s kinda scary,” I admitted.

That made him grin. “Yeah, she is. But you know, she really does care about human life. Did you know she’s never drank human blood?”

“Oh?”

He nodded. “And that’s harder than it sounds. Me, Jasper, Alice, even Edward? We’ve all had moments of weakness. Not Rosalie.”

“She said she killed people.”

“Hot, right?” he said, and I made a face at him. “But she didn’t drink them.”

Emmett chatted some more about life with the Cullens, but I didn’t really listen. My thoughts revolved around that creepy barefoot man with the fangs. He had looked at me like he knew me. Worse, like he owned me.

“So there I was, bleeding to death, when Rosalie came down like an angel,” Emmett was saying when Edward sprang into the room.

“They’re back,” he announced.

Emmett switched from friendly mode to defensive, guarding me like a tank. “Alone?”

“Yes.”

He relaxed a little. Rosalie and Alice joined us downstairs as Carlisle, Esme, and Jasper dripped into the foyer. “Well?” Rosalie asked.

For once, Carlisle’s face was grim. “They’re not planning on sticking around long, and they promised to stay off our property and the Quileute Reservation.”

That caught my ear. “What about the Reservation?”

“Vampires aren’t permitted on Quileute land. We made the treaty with their tribal elders long ago, the first time we moved to Forks.”

This was news to me. I recalled Jacob’s story about the Cold Ones and wondered how much truth was really behind it.

“You couldn’t get rid of them sooner?” Rosalie asked, hands on her hips.

Esme shook her head. “They were very dodgy. It was hard enough getting them to take us seriously as vegetarians.”

“Jasper, did you bite them?” Alice piped in.

He cracked his neck. “Maybe.”

She giggled.

“How long do we have to worry about them here in Forks?” Edward asked, on edge.

Carlisle shook his head. “I don’t know, son.”

“But what about Bella!”

He turned to me again. “We convinced them that we only drink human blood on special occasions, and that Edward was saving you for later. Their leader said he respected that. We can hope that means they’ll leave us—and you—alone.”

“’Hope?’” I repeated. “Great. That makes me feel safe.”

“It was the best we could do under strained circumstances,” he said, wincing. “If I were you, I would avoid going out alone for a little while.”

“Which you should have been doing anyway,” Rosalie muttered, shooting me a look.

“I apologize today took such a sour turn,” Carlisle said. “I’ll drive you home.”

“I’ll come too,” Edward said quickly.

I glanced at the rain out the window, then got up to go.

The ride back to my house was a mix of uncomfortably tense and unbearably awkward. Carlisle drove steadily through the rain. Edward kept glancing at me over his shoulder, like I might disappear suddenly in the backseat. I stared at the torrents of rain and tried not to fixate on the memory of that man asking for a bite of me.

Man. What a sucky baseball game.

Chapter Text

Going to school was never fun, but especially not with the added paranoia of knowing there were rogue vampires in Forks. Calm down, I told myself. School is probably the last place you’ll see one of those bloodsuckers. I had spent the rest of my weekend huddled in my room with the windows shut. Now was time to face the world again.

When lunch came, I took my usual spot in the library. Today, Alice was linking paperclips to create an incredibly long chain that she decided to wrap around me while I ate my chicken patty. “I’m calling this new style ‘officepunk pop,’” she said, trailing the chain past my nose.

“Cool,” I said between mouthfuls.

“The accessories are made of everyday school supplies,” she continued, “while the main ensemble will be a mix of silk and marbled leather.”

“Mm-hmm.”

She added the last of her paperclips, then began the labor of unwrapping her creation from me. “My inspiration was composition notebooks and that thing on Mr. Ortega’s desk.”

“You know, Alice?”

She perked up. “Hmm?”

“It’s easy to forget you’re technically an apex predator.”

“Boo!” She stuck her tongue out at me. “I don’t have to be nice. I could be mean and scary instead.”

“Okay,” I said.

“Anyway, what do you think of my chain scarf? Is it long enough?”

“Sure.” I took a sip of my juice carton. “How’d you get into this stuff?”

She draped the paperclip chain over her shoulder. “You mean fashion?”

“Yeah.”

Her smile twitched. “Oh. You know, I’ve just always been into it.”

“Since you were little, huh?” I said. She pressed her lips. Now her smile was definitely fake. I raised my eyebrows. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing!” she said.

“Is it because I mentioned your childhood? We don’t have to talk about that if it was bad.”

She forced a laugh. “No, my childhood was fine…I think.”

“You think?”

“I’m fine, right? So my childhood must have been fine.”

I put my lunch tray down. “Did something happen to you? When you were younger, I mean?”

She swallowed hard, losing her bubbly disposition entirely. “I don’t know,” she said quietly. “I don’t remember my human life.”

That caught me off guard. “None of it? Is that, like, a side effect of getting turned?”

“From what the others have told me, no.” Frowning, she tapped her head. “Carlisle thinks I might’ve had a concussion when I got turned. The fact is, I don’t remember anything about me except being a vampire.”

I felt a stab of sympathy and hoped it showed. “Wow.”

She balled her fists against her head. “My earliest memory is waking up after excruciating pain, confused and super, super thirsty. Someone called me Alice, but I lost control and drank her.” Spreading her hands, she made a sound of frustration. “That’s the only reason I know my name! That person knew me, and I killed her. I didn’t mean to. What if she was a friend of mine? Or a relative? Even if she hated me, she could have told me who I was.” She shook her head. “I killed everyone in the room. Like a monster. I was so, sothirsty. Being a newborn vampire sucks.”

“But another vampire must have turned you, right?” I said. “Why weren’t they there?”

She hung her head. “I wish I knew. There were only humans in the room with me when I woke up. I try not to think about it too much. Can you believe it? I get these visions of the future, but I don’t remember the past.” With a glance at me, she pressed her lips again. “Edward’s right. You are a good listener. I don’t know why I told you all this.”

“It’s okay,” I said. “That’s a lot to have to carry. You don’t have to pretend you’re happy all the time.”

She stared at the carpet. For a while, neither of us said anything. Over at the table, Emmett built a jenga tower out of pencils. “You know, Bella,” Alice finally spoke again. “The leader of the nomads who interrupted our baseball game?”

The man with the fangs. “Yeah?” I said.

She hesitated. “I think…I knew him. As a human, I mean. When he smiled at me, I got this…” She gestured vaguely. “Like, opposite of a vision.”

“A flashback,” I suggested.

“It hurt,” she said with a nod. “Like, physically. My knees locked and my thoughts started racing, and I knew that face with those pointed teeth, but I don’t know how I knew.” She took a deep breath. “Bella, that man—James—he’s bad news. I know it.”

I didn’t need psychic powers to know that. Grimacing, I nodded.

“What if he’s the vampire who turned me?” she said. “What if he knows who I used to be? I want to know so badly, but…the thought of seeing him again makes my stomach churn.” She shook her head. “I hate feeling like this. I hate making the others worry about me. I can’t even hide it from them, because Edward reads freakin’ thoughts and Emmett tells Rosalie everything.”

“Only if she asks about it,” Emmett said from across the room.

We glanced at him, then resumed our conversation. “I just really hope those nomads move out soon,” Alice said. “For your sake, too. Reporting you to the Volturi is the least of our worries. I’m scared if any of those three see you again, they’ll kill you.”

I hugged my arms. “That’s the opposite of what I want to hear.”

“But it’s what you already knew,” she said. Reluctantly, I nodded. She put her frigid hand on mine. “If they try to hurt you, they’ll have to answer to me and my whole coven. We like you, Bella. We’ll protect you however we can.”

I exhaled, trying to steady my breathing. “Thanks, I guess.”

“Hey. There’s seven of us, and only three of them. We have numbers on our side. They won’t want to mess with us if they know what’s good for them.” But it sounded like she was trying to convince herself as much as me. Abruptly, she shook her head and pulled out another box of paperclips. “I’m trying to figure out the best way to make matching ear cuffs. Can I use you as a model?”

“Knock yourself out.”

“Thanks!” As she reached out with a paperclip, she fell into one of those blinking fits.

“Vision?” I asked apprehensively.

She set the paperclip down. “Give me your phone. I’ll put in our phone number.”

“What did you see?”

“I saw you talking on the phone with Edward, and to do that, you’ll need our number.” I handed her my cell phone. She punched in the number with only her index finger like a grandma. “Just so you know, we don’t have cell phones. So if you call our home phone, any of us could pick up.”

“Cool,” I said. “What was I talking to Edward about?”

She shrugged. Very helpful. “Anyway,” she said, handing me back my phone, “where were we?”

For the rest of the lunch period, I tried not to think about getting killed by rogue vampires while Alice wrapped uncomfortable wire around my ears.

* * *

At the end of the school day, all I wanted to do was hunker down in my room. So of course Charlie would take that opportunity to drag me out on his fishing trip.

“Billy says Jacob misses you,” he said as he drove. “I figured it would do good for the two of you to catch up at the beach, like old times.”

“Hmm,” I mumbled, really hoping those three vampires were serious about staying off the Quileute reservation. Otherwise, me, Jacob, and our fishing-obsessed dads would be easy targets.

Charlie chattered on while we drove along the meandering roads. I tried not to stew in my dread. What was I supposed to tell Jacob? Sorry I’ve accidentally blown you off? This afternoon was going to be so awkward, and that’s only if we weren’t ambushed by those three rogue vampires.

Outside, the clouds parted and some golden sunlight streaked through. I relaxed a little. Yes, sun, come out and keep those sparkly demons away. God, what a weird anxiety to have.

By the time we reached the beach in La Push, half the clouds had blown away to reveal intermittent sunshine. I waved stiffly at Jacob while Charlie and Billy exchanged fake insults and readied their tackle boxes. Jacob motioned for me to follow him, so I did.

We strolled along the shoreline, avoiding the cold surf, neither of us saying anything. The waves hushed in and out, sounding almost soothing. Out in the distance, a raven cawed, a croaky, almost human sound. Jacob glanced at me, so I smiled. He smiled back. Hopefully that meant things were okay between us.

Once we were a good distance away from the dads, he spoke. “It kind of feels like you’ve been avoiding me.”

“Not on purpose,” I said. “But I’m sorry anyway.”

He picked up a rock and tossed it toward the ocean. It didn’t skip. “Bella, what’s up with Edward Cullen?”

My chest jumped. “What do you mean?”

“What do I mean,” he repeated, flashing me an eye roll. “Don’t pretend like you haven’t been spending time with him. I know you guys hang out after school all the time.”

I tried to buy some time to gather my racing thoughts. “What, are you jealous?” He made a face and kicked some sand at me. I held up my hands. “What? Are you?”

“It’d be one thing if you hanging out with him was the only weird thing,” Jacob said. “But my dad seems fixated on him too. He keeps warning me to stay away from the Cullens, Edward specifically, just out of nowhere.”

Oh shit, I thought as a realization hit. Jacob’s dad was part of the Quileute Tribal Council. Carlisle had said they had some kind of long-standing treaty with the Tribal Council. Could that mean Billy Black knew about vampires?

“So what is it about those weird Mormons?” Jacob asked. “What is it about Edward and his stupid hair and overcoat that’s so special? I know you have to know, because nobody else hangs out with him.”

“Jacob,” I said, “I can’t…”

“Can’t what? Can’t talk to me?”

“It’s not that. I promised Edward I’d keep his secret.”

“So there is a secret?” he said with a sparkle in his eye. “Some kind of cult type shit, right? Blink twice if I’m getting close.”

“No!” I shook my head. The more secretive I acted, the more interested Jacob would be. I couldn’t let him stumble upon what I had. “It’s not like that.”

“Then what is it like? What is up with Edward Cullen.”

I let out a big sigh, realizing I had to break a pretty big promise. “You really want to know?”

“Hell yeah, I do.”

“I promised Edward I wouldn’t tell anyone,” I said. “So you can’t let anyone find out about this.”

“Promise,” he said. “What’s the big secret?”

I inhaled deeply. “He’s gay.”

Jacob blinked, taken aback. “Oh. Oh.” He took a couple steps away, running his hand through his hair. If I didn’t know any better, I’d say he was blushing. “That’s why my dad was so insistent. Oh, fuck.”

I raised my eyebrows, waiting for an explanation for that reaction.

Digging his heel in the sand, Jacob stuffed his hands into his pockets. “I just came out to my dad as bi,” he said. “I like girls and guys. I think they’re neat.”

“Oh,” I said, unsure what to do with this information.

“So of course my dad’s first thought would have been, ‘oh no, my son’s gonna fall for that freaky Mormon the grade above him,’” Jacob said with a laugh. He shook his head, staring at the ground. “Oh my God. This is mortifying. Why would my dad think that?”

I glanced at the dads. Charlie was currently pretending to beat Billy up in his wheelchair. “I’m pretty sure my dad thinks I’m in some relationship with Edward too, so you can join the club.”

“Oh my God.”

“But you can’t tell anyone about this,” I said. “It’s really important to Edward that nobody knows.”

Jacob nodded. “Yeah, of course. God. The girls at school would be heartbroken if they knew about this. I always thought he was a player, you know? The way they always go after him and he brushes them off? But this…wow. This makes sense in a weird way.”

“Promise you’ll keep the secret,” I insisted. “Like, for real, promise.”

Jacob grinned sheepishly at me. “I promise. And you won’t tell anyone I’m bi yet?”

“Promise.”

We continued along the beach, pausing to check out interesting shells or driftwood. That distant raven called again, and Jacob struck up a new conversation about ravens. I had no idea how cool they were. I thought they were the same as crows.

It was nice. For that afternoon, I forgot my worries about the rogue vampires and got to catch up with my oldest friend.

Chapter Text

With such a busy afternoon, I fell asleep right away that night. I wish I could say I slept well, but not tonight. Not when the nightmare began.

I couldn’t recall how it all started, but somehow, I lay alone in a cold fog. As much as I wanted to get up and run, I couldn’t move, not even to shiver. A sole figure walked up to me, dressed in black like the grim reaper, cliché as fuck. All I could make of its face was a toothy smile.

It crouched over me and ran a frigid finger behind my ear and down my jawline, just like that night alone in that dark parking lot. Though I tried to scream, nothing came out.

“You smell good, little pretty thing,” it said. A man’s voice. A voice I had heard before. I gazed into a pair of blood-red eyes.

I want to scream. I want to scream, my mind repeated, but I couldn’t do anything. He climbed on top of me. I WANT TO SCREAM. Two hands clamped down on my shoulders, and a set of sharp teeth sank into my neck.

I screamed.

In the split second afterward, I realized, 1) I was still in my room, and 2) it was only a dream. A loud bang and footsteps thundered my way. Charlie burst through the door and switched on the lights, gun drawn. “Who’s there?” he yelled.

I blinked spastically, bewildered by the sudden brightness and the lingering remnants of my nightmare. Charlie surveyed my empty room, then lowered his weapon and took a step toward me. His pajamas were just a t-shirt and a pair of boxers, and his mustache was crooked. “You all right, Beller?”

“I’m okay,” I mumbled. “Just a bad dream.”

He let out a sigh of relief and tucked his gun into his the waistband of his boxers. “You had me scared there.”

“Sorry.”

“Don’t be sorry.” He shut off the light. “Love you. G’night.” He closed the door.

Alone once more, I shivered. Somewhat embarrassed, I willed myself to fall asleep again. Within minutes, I heard Charlie snoring quietly from his room.

I kept shivering. Why was it so cold in here? As my eyes adjusted to the dark, my gaze drifted to my window. My heart dipped. Why was it open? I didn’t remember opening it, and I couldn’t think of a reason why Charlie would have come in the middle of the night to open it.

Wide-awake now, I climbed out of bed and shoved it shut. Paranoia crawled up and down my skin. Was someone in my room? Did they really touch me in my sleep? Could they still be inside? Quietly as to not wake Charlie again, I checked my closet and under my bed. Nothing.

I returned to the window. Outside, black shadows of trees swayed. I squinted at the bottom of the backyard hill. One of the murky shadows seemed suspiciously man-shaped. I stared and stared. Was I seeing things? My heart pounded hard enough to thud in my eardrums.

The shape disappeared.

That did it. I whipped out my cell phone and stared at it in the dark. First instinct was to call the police, but what good would that do? I lived with the fucking police. They couldn’t do squat against walking shadows. Holding my breath, I called the Cullens.

  Please don’t let Rosalie pick up, I begged in my head. Or Jasper. God only knew what I would say if it was one of them.

The line picked up after only one ring. “Hi Bella,” Alice whispered.

I let out a shaky breath. “Alice. I—”

“You want to talk to Edward, right?”

“Sure,” I said, glancing toward my window with unease.

She giggled. “This is just like what I saw. I’ll get him for you.”

Moments later, Edward’s bitchy voice came on the line. “Shouldn’t you be asleep at this hour?”

“Hey, um…” I swallowed. “Is any of your family out hunting tonight?”

“An unusual question. No, my parents and siblings are all quite busy upstairs right now.”

My heart thudded. “I think…”

“Pardon? You’re a bit hard to hear. Which I’m not used to saying.”

“I think a vampire came into my room tonight.”

The line went silent.

“Edward?”

“I’m coming over,” he said, all traces of annoyance gone from his voice.

“To my house?” I asked, then felt kind of stupid for asking.

“Stay right there.”

“Just—just don’t wake my dad.”

He hung up.

Hugging my arms, I returned to my window. Now every dark shape looked like a person. I stared until my eyes blurred. Was that shape moving? Was that one?

My heart plummeted as one shape emerged quickly from the woods.

Oh wait, I realized as it came into view, that’s just Edward.

With seemingly no effort, he leapt up to my second-story window and gripped onto the shutters. As quietly as I could, I opened the window.

“Are you injured?” he asked, both soft and harrowed.

“I’m fine,” I said as he crawled inside. Immediately, I shut the window again and eyed my door. Charlie’s snores didn’t stop, so we were in the clear for now. Quietly, I told Edward about my nightmare and the open window when I awoke.

“What did the figure look like?”

“I don’t know. It was too dark. But I’m pretty sure it was a person.”

He clawed at his hair. “One of those nomads. Why would they toy with you? Why would any vampire play around instead of instantly killing you?”

“Remember that time when I said something touched me in a parking lot?” I said. “I think it was the same person.” And I didn’t say this out loud because I had no proof, but I imagined it was their creepy leader, the barefoot guy with the fangs.

Edward clenched his fists and paced my room. “I don’t know what to do,” he said. “If one of those vagabonds should hurt you, I would never forgive myself.”

“Maybe we should tell Carlisle?”

He nodded. “Good idea.”

He stood over my shoulder while I dialed the Cullens’ number again. This time, Rosalie answered. I let Edward bicker with her, then listened as he explained the situation to Carlisle. At last, he handed the phone back to me. “He, Emmett, and Jasper are going to scope out the area to try and find the nomads and talk to them.”

“Talking to them worked so well the first time,” I said. “Now what?”

He sat down at my desk and swiveled the chair to face me. “You can go back to sleep. I’ll wait here in case anything comes back.”

I made a face. “You’re just gonna watch me sleep?”

“Well of course it sounds creepy when you say it like that.”

“I can’t sleep if you’re watching.”

“I can’t leave you alone.”

I sighed and plopped down at the foot of my bed. “Well, I guess I’m staying up later then.”

Edward swept his gaze across my room. “More childish than I imagined,” he said, motioning from the string of dead fairy lights to a colored pencil drawing on the wall.

“Don’t judge,” I said. “Charlie kept the room the same since I was a little kid visiting here.”

His mouth twitched, almost a smile. “That’s sweet.” His eyes stopped on the dejected mug near the window. “What’s that? A dead plant?”

Somewhat embarrassed, I tucked my legs under me. “It’s a cactus. From Arizona.”

“It’s in sorry shape.”

“I don’t want to throw it out. It’s the last thing I got from my mom.”

He nodded slowly for a bit, then said, “The right side of it looks salvageable. In the daytime, cut off the rot and repot it in some kind of vessel with drainage.”

I cocked my head. “Thanks. How did you know that?”

“Have you not paid any attention in science this whole year?”

“Oh. No.”

He sighed.

Fidgeting, I worked my way back under my covers. Something ate at my conscience. “Um, Edward?” He looked up. “I’m really sorry. But I kind of broke one of my promises to you.”

He tensed, eyebrows arching. “Elaborate.”

I took a deep breath, regretting bringing this up already. “Jacob was getting too close to finding out about vampires, so to throw him off track, I told him you were gay.”

His jaw dropped in horror. “Jacob Black?” he said in a frantic whisper.

“And I’m really, really sorry,” I said.

“Of all the people you could have spilled this information to—”

“Like I said, he was getting super suspicious about you.” Edward cradled his head. “And don’t worry,” I quickly added. “Jacob will keep your secret. He’s got secrets of his own.”

“That’s not what I’m distressed about,” he said. “Do you know what kind of thoughts that boy thinks about me?”

The question took me aback. “Um? I don’t think I want to know?”

“Jacob Black.” He shook his head. “You couldn’t have told someone ugly or plain. You had to tell Jacob Black.”

I marveled. “Do you have a crush on Jacob?”

“Have you seen the guy, Bella? And what’s worse, he thinks I’m attractive, too.”

“Don’t read my friends’ minds.”

“It’s not like I can help it!”

“Shh.” I held a finger to my lips and listened for Charlie’s snoring. Fortunately, he snored on. “We can’t wake up Charlie or he will barge in here with a gun again.”

He glared at me. In the dark, I couldn’t tell what color his eyes were. “You are a bane on my entire existence, Bella Swan, and I rue the day you arrived in Forks.”

“Yeah, yeah, I know. I’m really sorry I told Jacob about you. But if he found out you guys are vampires, no one would get him to shut up.”

“It is taking all my will not to eviscerate you right now and put my problems to rest.”

“Okay, thanks for not doing that then.”

Fuming, Edward swiveled away from me. “I don’t know why I do so much for you when all you do is make my life miserable.”

“You never did tell me, are you technically even alive?”

“I’m not speaking to you anymore.”

“Look, what would you have told Jacob if he asked about you not being human? You probably would have said it was the fluorescents or something.”

He glanced angrily at me, then turned his back toward me again. “What happened to your ears? They seem mangled.”

“Oh, you can thank Alice for that.”

We talked late into the night. Eventually, my eyelids grew so heavy I couldn’t bear sitting up anymore. Edward didn’t seem to tire at all. “You’re human,” he said. “You need rest.”

“Just don’t do anything creepy while I sleep,” I mumbled.

“You find everything about me creepy.”

“You know what I mean.” I rolled over, and that was it.

The next thing I knew, gray morning light streamed through the window. I blinked drowsily and nearly had a heart attack when I saw Edward staring at me from the chair. “Jesus,” I said, and contracted under the covers.

“Good morning,” he said.

“Did you just stare at me all night?”

“Well, what else was I to do?”

“Read a book or something, I don’t know.” I yawned. “It’s morning. We gotta go to school, and my dad can’t see you here.”

He nodded. “I’ll leave the same way I came in.” Deftly, he climbed back out the window and jumped to the ground.

Outside, I heard a gunshot. Shit, I thought, remembering Charlie’s groundhog. Sweating, I rushed to the window.

I was just in time to see Charlie turn around and spot Edward at the base of our house. Edward ran off into the woods as Charlie raised his fist and shouted something. Once Edward disappeared, Charlie marched up the hill and flashed me a glare.

Awkwardly, I waved back. Fuck. Busted.